Descent
by l.h. Zein
Summary: "No man will hurl me down to Death, against my fate. And fate? No one alive has ever escaped it, neither brave man nor coward, I tell you - it's born with us the day that we are born. "You know, when I got that letter saying you were Head Boy, I never imagined it would lead us here using the past and the future to end a war neither one of us wanted"I do not own Harry Potter. HBP AU
1. Chapter 1

A new year.

The very thought used to send shivers of anticipation down her spine. A blank slate to learn to grow and change. It was possibilities. Though as the school year had approached, instead of anticipation she'd been filled with an increasing sense of dread.

The return of You Know Who had been met with silence. Ironic, considering all that had led up to his return. There were Death Eater sightings being reported daily by the Prophet, but nothing official. Mostly supporters impersonating the real thing. Harry had written her nearly daily, sick with worry.

They wanted it to end.

But no one was ready.

There was an old English poem she'd read over the summer with a single line that had been repeating in her mind as the summer months turned to autumn. Fate is inexorable. Inescapable. She'd never put much stock into such things. Fate. Destiny. Prophecy. If her attempt at studying Divination was any indication, it was that she wasn't built to believe in things that weren't tangible; that couldn't be reasoned by logic. Though now, she was finding that perhaps there was something to be said about Fate.

Harry would fight Voldemort. It didn't matter if it happened today, tomorrow, next week, or in 20 years. It would happen, whether they tried to avoid it or not.

She never did well with avoiding things, so she prepared.

If her parent's noticed her sombering attitude, they did not comment. They fussed over her books, new robes, and took her to dinner when she received the letter declaring her to be Head Girl.

She wasn't as thrilled. Not when she'd finished the letter with the last few words, jumbled but resounding in her mind.

 _Head Boy_

 _Draco Malfoy_

She'd nearly fainted, wanting to run test to verify its authenticity. But it was. The stamp real. The words true. It was impossible to fathom, but, she supposed if Dumbledore was attempting some last ditch effort at inter-house unity in order to save what Slytherins that could be saved from turning to the dark, then Draco Malfoy was the obvious choice. On paper, he fit the description.

 _Second in the class. Points beneath her._

 _Quidditch Captain._

 _Prince of Slytherin._

Son of a Death Eater.

She'd shivered at the last. If Draco Malfoy was convinced to take a stand away from the dark, the rest would follow. He was the perfect piece from a long line of pieces that both Dumbledore and Voldemort were playing with. He had to be moved along the board.

Fate is inexorable.

It made her want to set her Divination book on fire.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys! So I just wanted to clarify a few things about this story. This is largely going to be canon compliant, with certain shifts in the timeline, think of it like everything got pushed a year later. This story will have two parts, Part I will be at Hogwarts pre-war and Part II will be post-war/during war.

I do not own Harry Potter.

Reviews=love.

* * *

The first time she'd fell in love was when she was 11. It was everything she'd imagined it. Her heart fluttered, breathing was forgotten, and her mind was consumed with nothing but thoughts of the object of her affection, the Hogwarts Express.

It was where everything had finally fallen into place. She was a witch; she had magic, and she was going to a school to learn more. It had all seemed so real when she'd stood on the platform and said goodbye to her parents before skipping to board the train.

Some things could never change. The minute she'd stepped foot on the platform she'd relaxed. Odd, since every fiber of her body told her to be alert. She may not be looking forward to the impending doom that no doubt awaited in the upcoming school year, but at least she wouldn't face it alone.

Finding Ron and Harry had been easy, and as she settled into her seat she found their conversation quickly slipping into safe topics; Quidditch, who'd they'd seen in Diagon Alley, and any other gossip Ron had managed to find out before boarding the train. She was content to let the train ride go with them talking non-stop while she drifted deeper into her thoughts when Ron shook her.

"So is it true 'Mione." Ron said. She blinked and turned her head toward them. "What's true Ron?"

"That Malfoy's Head Boy." Harry said with a grimace. The signs of betrayal were still written on his face. He'd expected the title, and the disappointment at having not gotten it was clearly painful.

She nodded. Unable to speak. "You know." Harry said leaning back hand running through his untamed head of hair, "I don't think I even saw Malfoy get on the train." Ron frowned at that and seemed to focus as he tried to recall having seen that familiar but despicable head of platinum hair. "Come to think of it, neither did I."

Harry nudged her. "Well, what do you know Hermione, you may have lucked out. Maybe Malfoy won't show, and he'll be replaced."

She smiled weakly, but turned away as soon as the topic drifted to the new DADA professor, or rather lack thereof. She glanced as she watched tree after tree pass. Somehow she doubted that she'd be that lucky.

* * *

The feast was excellent, as it always was, but other than the taste of the food or the strange looks Luna seemed to be sending her, Hermione couldn't for the life of her remember anything else about it. The entire evening was turning into a blur. Everyone was moving around her, but it seemed she was watching from the outskirts of all the action. The border looking in. She bit her lip focusing on her plate. What was wrong with her?

"And I heard Malfoy's father wanted him to sit for the NEWTs early, but the school refused and…"

"Wait." Hermione snapped to attention. "Malfoy was going to take the NEWTs early? But they're not scheduled until June." Lavender shrugged her shoulders. "That's just what I heard." She tilted her dark head toward the Slytherin table. "Well I think that's ridiculous." Ginny said before returning to her food, "Why would the ferret even consider taking them if his dear old dad is going to simply buy him whatever job he wants?" Again Lavender shrugged, though her eyes drifted above Ginny's head. "Speak of the devil and the devil will come." She muttered before shooting Ginny a mischievous grin.

"Why don't you go ask him?"

Hermione craned her neck, following Brown's gaze. Sure enough, Malfoy's familiar blonde head was discretely making its way to the Slytherin table. He seemed to slip in easily between Pansy and Blaise. "Something seems off about him." Ginny quipped. Hermione found herself nodding. There was, but she couldn't seem to put her finger on it. The entire energy he'd always had around him was subdued, and though the two other Slytherins were talking to him, he didn't seem to be responding. He was there, but not there.

She felt her own chest tighten at the thought.

It wasn't long before the same blonde could be seen sneaking away from the table and back from where he came. He hadn't eaten anything.

"Well, I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to ask him Hermione." Lavender said before taking a sip of her drink, "After all, you will be living together."

Her cheeks flushed. "The dormitories are private."

"But everything else is shared." Lavender retorted with a wicked grin stretched across her lips. Leave it to Lavender to think of shagging the most despicable Slytherin as perfectly acceptable roommate behavior.

"Lav!" Padma shrieked joining the conversation. She hit the other girl teasingly on the shoulder. "Don't get me wrong, he's a right git." Lavender said, "but I think anyone with eyes can admit that sharing a shower with Draco Malfoy may not be the worst thing in the world." Lavender allowed a small smile to spread across her face, "At least if all the rumors are to be believed." Padma looked absolutely scandalized, while Ginny was choking on her food. As for Hermione, she was pretty sure that her cheeks were now eerily reminiscent of her Gryffindor scarlet bedsheets.

"That is bloody disgusting Lavender." Ginny said, having recovered her breath. Though she didn't miss the slight flush in Ginny's cheeks. No. Not disgusting enough.

Lavender turned her fork in her hand before taking it into her mouth and slowing pulling it back out. "We'll just let Hermione be the judge of that."

Merlin help her, if the Earth had cracked open and swallowed her then, she would have died willingly.

She was practically rejoicing when the conversation shifted and thoughts of shagging, Draco Malfoy, and a shared dormitory were quickly forgotten. Though, her mind kept drifting to the way he'd come into the Hall and then left abruptly. The pang of curiosity was unmistakable, but if Lavender had said anything true then it was that she would have time to find out.

* * *

She joined the rest of the Gryffindors for the welcome back party in the Common Room, but when the clock was in danger of ringing in the early hours of the next day she begrudgingly tore herself from the sea of scarlet and gold and drifted toward the Head's Dormitories. She whispered her password to the statue and walked up the steps of the tower with dread.

 _Come on Granger. It's only Malfoy. You have nothing to be worried about._

The mantra echoed in her head as she glanced around the common area. Empty. Maybe he'd stayed at the Slytherin dormitories. Though the idea was banished as quickly as it formed when the bedroom door on the left opened. Draco took one glance at her. "Granger." She was too dumbfounded to speak that by the time she'd even regained awareness of her mouth, Malfoy had passed into the kitchen and had returned to the doorway to his room with a glass of water.

He tilted his head slightly. "You might want to close your mouth before you catch flies Granger." She promptly yanked her jaw shut. A weary smile seemed to pass over his face, but it was quickly gone.

"Right so, this is my bedroom." he said, "The second one's down the hall, and the shared bathroom is the door in between. So unless there's anything else you need to do besides gawk at me from the entrance, I'm going to go to bed."

"Wait, Why…." She stammered unsure which of the millions of questions that were lingering on the tip of her tongue she should ask. Draco stared at her patiently. Once he found that she was in no condition to voice a coherent thought, he took over. "Look Granger, we have to work together let's not stretch our necessary interaction past the bare minimum." he said coldly before disappearing back into his room.

She stood for a minute after his door had shut. Her arm went to her cheek and pinched it slightly. No. Still awake. Unfortunately. She shook her head and huffed. If it was the bare minimum, she could live with that. She walked quickly over to her room, pausing only at the doorway to steal another glance at Malfoy's room. She shook her head again and closed her own door before collapsing on her bed. It wasn't until later that night, after a fitful tossing and turning that she even realized.

His tone hadn't held a trace of disdain. He'd been civil. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved or worried. Surely her snake of a roommate was biding his time and hatching a plot. The alternative was that his sentiments were genuine, and that downright terrified her, because it meant that maybe, she didn't actually know what she was getting into.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

Hermione was a creature of habit. The monotone of a routine left no room for her to wallow in the heavy tension that descended upon Hogwarts. The students were on edge, the professors even more so, and on top of that she still roomed with one Draco Malfoy.

Though, to be fair, roomed with was a bit of a stretch. They occupied the same space, though never at the same time it seemed. He was just as keen to avoid her as she was him. Not that it was difficult. Their class schedules were completely different. They shared two classes, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions.

It would be a lie to say she wasn't curious about his other classes. He was for all intents and purposes second in the class. In theory, their schedules should have been the same. So when she caught sight of what appeared to be a Charm's book left on their kitchen counter one evening, she easily went to examine it. The title was unfamiliar, and a few flips through the pages and she found she didn't recognize any of the spells being taught. After a few targeted questions to Lavender, she had her answer. He'd tested out from classes. At least, that was what she understood from the lengthy explanation. A few choice Slytherins and Ravenclaws had somehow taken summer lessons. Upon returning to Hogwarts, Dumbledore had been forced to acknowledge that the curriculum as it stood now would simply be repetitive for them to complete. No one could tell her anything else.

She hated to admit it, but it made her green with envy that she wasn't in the highest classes available. Though, if anything, the only reason those classes existed was because students like Malfoy could afford and had access to a plethora of possible private tutors for summer lessons. That was the only reason. It had to be.

It was hard to convince herself of it. Her thoughts were like a plague that would never lift, infecting her mind, especially at night when she didn't have Ron or Harry to distract her. She blinked up at her ceiling before her eyes drifted to her door. Nearly every night that she hadn't been able to slip soundlessly into her dreams, she'd open her eyes to light from the Common Room seeping through the cracks of the door.

She nibbled her lip before rising from her bed. A cup of tea might help her get to sleep, if not, she had muggle and wizarding ways of forcing sleep to take her in a cabinet in the kitchen.

She twisted her hair up into a bun and quietly left her room. Her footsteps were soft as she made her way toward their Common Room. Just as she suspected, Malfoy was awake, legs stretched out and resting at the lone coffee table in front of the couch. The same Charm's book was on the table with a book mark near the half way mark of the text.

She craned her head to catch sight of the title of the book currently in his hands when his voice rang out.

"Did I disturb you?"

She stopped, waiting for his head to turn, but it never did. She'd been quiet. How had he heard her?

"No." She finally said moving now with no hesitation. "I couldn't sleep either."

He kept his face trained to his book. She frowned and stepped to the kitchen. A wave of her wand brought the kettle on the stove to life, and soon she had returned with her cup in hand to the room.

Her eyes drifted to the title. _The First Folio._

"Shakespeare." She blinked then, unsure why she'd voiced her thought aloud.

"Thank you for confirming that you can, in fact, read Granger." He snorted flipping the page of the book.

"Why are you…"

"Contrary to popular belief, but most of us aren't uneducated pathetic excuses for wizards like the company you keep."

She bristled. "You consider Muggle literature educational?"

He looked up from his page before marking it and shutting the book loudly. A malicious grin spread across his face. "Well that would depend on if I thought Shakespeare was a muggle."

She folded her arms. "He was a Muggle. Records show that."

The grin intensified.

"I don't know much about Muggles Granger, but I'm sure that their educational system doesn't lead great minds to take up residence in the local pub." He paused, his grin melting off his face. When he met her gaze, he was serious. "That was what the muggle named Shakespeare did, isn't it? Drank himself into the grave from what I understand."

She blinked, fighting hard to ignore how impressed she was with his knowledge. Theories to the identity of Shakespeare were not exactly commonly known.

He smiled slightly as he noticed her eyes fill with recognition. "Even you must admit that Shakespeare was probably a nom de plume."

"He still could have been a muggle."

"That's not what my mother believed. She'd read them to me when I was younger, on the nights when my father wasn't home." He said, his gaze grew unfocused. She was mesmerized at the transformation. It was easier to see how intelligent Malfoy actually was when he wasn't being a git.

"Why did she read them?"

He blinked before a scowl settled on his lips. "None of your business"

The git had returned. "I was just asking a question." She muttered.

"You ask too many." He snapped grabbing his books and stalking toward his room.

"You should be sleeping and not disturbing other people." He called over his shoulder before shutting his door behind him.

She sighed, clutching her teacup tighter. "So should you." She murmured.

* * *

The prat had ruined her night and her day as well. After she'd gone to her room, she'd stayed awake contemplating their conversation before fitfully falling asleep, only to wake up nearly late for Arithmancy. She hated him. Him and his surprising knowledge.

She bitterly continued on to DADA, waiting for Snape to return their exams. When he did, she almost wished he hadn't.

She blinked at the page. It was impossible. Surely there was a mistake in the grading. She'd gotten the second highest grade in DADA. Not just that, she'd been tied with a Ravenclaw for second. She quickly scanned through the pages, checking and rechecking questions to responses.

Across the room, Snape had handed Malfoy his paper with a low congratulations before the blond snatched his papers and promptly left the room.

She felt her gut tighten. No. No. He couldn't have.

Ron leaned over her arm and his eyes widened as he glanced at the page. "There's been a bloody mistake." he stammered. "Malfoy." She started. "No. He must have cheated." He interrupted her, clearly at a loss for how to continue that statement.

She shook her head. "How? Snape was watching."

"He may have bloody well let him. I mean fuck Hermione; Malfoy can't have scored higher than you."

"He studied Ron." He must have. She glanced at the class list with the top grades floating at the front of the room. He'd beat her by not one, not two, but three points. Ron stammered eyes still flitting across her page and then to her face.

"He actually studies quite a bit now." she murmured. Ron's mouth dropped. "I mean he's up at all hours in the night, and when he is he just sits in our Common Room with the light on and a book in his hand." The last part came out a grumble. She suddenly felt anger bubble at the back of her throat.

Who was he to come in and challenge her for first? To be civil to her when he had teased her for years, called her Mudblood….

 _He hasn't said the word Mudblood in 2 years._

Her thoughts were ignored in favor of emotion. She clenched her fists, trembling from anger. Whether she was upset from the night before or for the test, she couldn't say. The rude pureblood piece of rubbish. How dare he. On both accounts. How dare he. She snatched her paper from Ron and marched toward the Heads' Dormitories.

He was sitting on one of the couches, head leaned back, massaging his temples. When the door slammed behind her, he immediately bolted up with a slew of curses flowing from his mouth.

"What the fuck Granger." he exclaimed. What the fuck indeed.

"Where do you get off?" She said, voice louder than intended.

He glanced down at her. Face like stone. His voice though, sent chills down her spin. "I know this may be a difficult concept for you to grasp, with the peasant upbringing that you've had, but a polite member of society doesn't hurl accusations at a man without first telling him what he is accused of." He was cool, voice even, like her outburst hadn't fazed him in the slightest.

"Accusing you of." She hissed and felt a warmth of satisfaction when he flinched. Their faces were mere inches apart now. "You know why." she enunciated, while poking her finger into his chest with each syllable. He grabbed her hand and twisted her arm behind her. "Do not touch me." This time though, there was a certain edge in his voice. A threat.

She pulled her arm out of his grasp, surprised he'd allowed her to do so. "Here." She shoved her paper in his face. He glanced down at the page, and raised a brow. "Your DADA test." he said flatly. "HOW DID YOU SCORE HIGHER THAN ME?!"

He closed his eyes for a moment and took in a breath. "You're angry because I scored higher on a fucking test."

Was she? It was hard to say. The exam. The night before. The weeks of near dead silence and nights of restless sleep. She felt her anger deflate. "Yes." It came out meeker than she intended. "How did you do it?" she grumbled, nearly embarrassed at her outburst, but unwilling to back down.

He rubbed his temples. "I don't owe you any explanations, and since it seems I'm not going to be able to nurse this sodding headache in peace, I'm leaving." He grabbed his jumper that had been slung over the couch beside him.

"Where are you going?" She darted after him.

"To the Slytherin House. Gods knows Pansy probably has enough pain potions to feed the entire Hogwarts student body." he snapped before slamming the door behind him.

She stood alone in their Common Room before sinking to her feet. What in the world had just happened?

Scrambling back to the couch she plopped down in the exact spot he'd been sitting before she'd stormed in. He'd be back eventually, and she'd be damned if they didn't finish what they'd started. Damn him and his ability to get under her skin. She leaned her head back and took in a breath. Her nose caught his scent that still lingered. Apples and Pine. A shiver ran down her back as she crossed her arms. Her mouth went dry as she savored the scent. It was oddly comforting, easing the tension in her muscles. Damn him again for always smelling so good. She shook her head and took to breathing from her mouth. No distractions. She had to be focused for when he came back.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

She woke with a jolt. Her neck stiffened at the movement. Rolling her shoulders, she immediately felt the tension in her back disappear. She hadn't meant to fall asleep waiting, and with a sniff she noticed the still lingering scent of pine and apples. She scowls before stealing a glance around the room before settling on the clock in the kitchen.

Merlin. She shot to her feet. 8 am. She'd slept the whole afternoon through morning. A quick look at Draco's door confirmed that it was closed. Hoovering at the handle, she listened for any sign of rustle or noise. Nothing. She threw her hands up in frustration and headed to the shower. She needed to wash the smell of apples and pine off her before she headed to class.

She dressed quickly and was in DADA a second before class began self-conscious that those same traitorous scents were still clinging to her skin. Harry gave her an odd look when she came to stand beside her. "Your hair's all wet." He murmured. 'I overslept.' she mouthed as the door opened and shut. Snape seemed to glide as he walked into the classroom. Apparently, he'd become their permanent DADA professor, seeing as no one else wanted the job. As he began his introduction, she murmured a quick drying spell for her hair. Today's topic was shields and the various types and strengths of each.

The professor seemed to be looking for a volunteer when the door opened and shut. Every head turned toward the disturbance. Hermione craned her head for a glimpse.

"Mr. Malfoy, how wonderful for you to join us today."

Her heart dropped as she caught site of the boy in question. He paused before the professor and shrugged his shoulders. A few Slytherins snickered, but were quickly silenced by a look from Snape.

"In that case I'm sure you won't mind being our first volunteer for the morning."

Malfoy cast him a bored look before stepping a few feet from their professor, who by now, had explained the challenge and concept behind it.

"Just a shield?" He asked Snape, who only lifted a brow in answer. Malfoy shrugged again and resumed his stance.

Her eyes drifted back between the two in clear fascination. They seemed to converse silently for a moment longer before Snape fired his first spell. Hermione closed her eyes, waiting for an impact that never came. A few murmurs went through the crowd. Her eyes fluttered open and caught site of the blue shield that had formed around Draco. The bored expression was still on his face, though he did lift his head and inspect his handiwork. She could have sworn a thin smile had stretched across his face.

Snape fired another spell, and still the shield did not break. Again and again. Flash after flash and still Malfoy's shield held. After 10 minutes, Snape lowered his wand. "I see someone has been reading ahead." He dismissed Draco, who was soon lost in a sea of green as the other Slytherins took turns in congratulating him.

"If Malfoy can do it, it can't be too bad." Ron muttered stepping forward as the next volunteer.

Apparently, it could be, because Ron couldn't even get his shield to form. Harry's held for a second before collapsing. Hers was much the same. In fact, no one seemed to have much luck except for Blaise Zabini, whose shield held for a record 2 minutes before breaking.

"How'd the ferret succeed when the bloody lot of us couldn't even form the damn thing." Ron cursed when he failed to form the shield on his second try. Hermione shrugged inching closer to the Slytherins, trying to make out Draco. He was sitting on a table one leg up, with his elbow perched up holding his head. Pansy was asking him something, but he shook his head at her. Their eyes met for a moment, and a scowl stretched across his face before he turned back to watch Padma fail at her 3rd attempt to make the shield.

She watched him, looking for something but not quite sure what she was supposed to find. It wasn't even about the exam anymore, though admittedly, she was still bristling about it. No. Now she was curious, and her curiosity had always got her in trouble. Though in this case, she felt it was necessary. There was something going on, and the tension was palatable in their dorm. He didn't have to talk to her, much less be friendly, but Merlin they had to air out whatever was hanging in the air between them before she murdered him in his sleep.

Or he did her.

When Snape dismissed them, she shot over toward him, but the table was already empty.

Blast.

"Looking for someone?" She turned and saw Blaise leaning casually on a second table. She studied him, his dark gaze was fixed on her. He seemed simultaneously amused and interested in her. It was hard to know what that meant. Blaise Zabini was one of Slytherin's elite, and not for good reason. If his posture was anything to go by, he was a force to be reckoned with.

Her eyes met his gaze, and she willed herself to appear unfazed by his obvious scrutiny.

"I just need to go over some details with Malfoy about our trip to Hogsmeade that's coming up. I just can't seem to catch him at a good time."

The lie was easy. She was almost proud at how it had flowed out of her mouth with no hesitation. Blaise didn't seem to react, though his gaze remained fixed on her.

"I'd have talked to him last night, if he hadn't left in a hurry saying he needed to go to the Slytherin House. Is that where he is now?" She pushed on.

At this, Blaise seemed to shift his weight. He crossed his arms and frowned.

"Draco didn't come to Slytherin yesterday."

Her heart stopped. He must have gone there. No one had been caught passed curfew, and though Hogwarts possessed many tunnels and rooms to seek refuge in, patrols had been altered to be more thorough. He couldn't have evaded all the professors or perfects at once. She should know. She'd helped alter the routes.

Blaise was quiet before regarding her with curiosity. He seemed to come to some conclusion because a resolved expression settled on his dark features and he spun on his heel to leave her. He paused by the doorway and called back over his shoulder.

"Granger." She met his gaze, "You're a really terrible liar."

She was about to retort when Blaise disappeared into the hall.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was trying her patience. Logically, the prat could only come up with so many excuses to avoid her, but it seemed whenever she might have the opportunity to catch him alone, another would pop out of his mouth. She was starting to wonder how many headaches a normal person could get, because Malfoy seemed to have one constantly.

She grumbled, huddling her arms tighter around her sides as she watched the flying brooms overhead.

Quidditch had resumed, and with it, more opportunities for the House rivalries to play out.

Slytherin v.s. Gryffindor.

Slytherin was currently in the lead, but if Harry could manage to catch the snitch now they'd win. She could begrudgingly admit that the game was keeping her at the edge of her seat. Her eyes darted to Draco. Despite her overall irritation with him, she had to admire his skill. He really did have grace on his broom. More so than Harry really. While Harry played with his heart out in the open and taking risks, Malfoy was the one who played with skill. He always seemed to be analyzing the others. Come to think of it, the only times Harry had bested Malfoy on the broom was when Draco would abandon his normal strategic approach in favor of his emotions. In other words, when he was angry.

He stalled for a second. No one else seemed to be paying him any mind.

"What's the bugger doing?" she muttered. She followed his line of site and caught a glimpse of gold dashing about. The snitch. Malfoy had spotted the snitch. Her eyes searched for Harry and found him on the opposite side. Why hadn't he taken off after it?

As she thought it, Draco moved.

Toward Harry.

She frowned as she watched Malfoy sweep past Harry, who startled, but quickly followed him. Draco led him through twists and turns before turning sharply to his left, leaving Harry to collide with one of his teammates. He slipped past them both and now headed for the snitch.

She stood on her toes watching as he dove for it.

Her heart skipped a beat as she noted his speed. He was diving too fast. She watched him, transfixed. His grip on his broom seemed to loosen, and he swayed. Her heart pounded louder. She knew it was coming before it happened.

Malfoy's hands slipped from his broom, and Hermione screamed.

Her scream seemed to startle the rest of the players, and suddenly they sprang into action. Two Slytherins dove after him, and a moment later Harry joined them.

While Malfoy had seemed to be falling with little resistance initially, he was now scrambling in the air. He shouted and his broom seemed to spring forward. He'd just grasped it when his left leg skid across the ground.

The snap that sounded seemed to echo across the field as the stadium went silent. It was still ringing in her ears as a whistle sounded, signaling an end to the game. The players, coaches, and Madame Pomfrey sprung toward Draco. Snape had also somehow come onto the field. The stiff Professor was anything but graceful as he sprinted toward the fallen Slytherin.

At the mass movement, she quickly stood pushing passed the crowd and down the stands following them.

Even from where she stood several feet away, she could see that his leg was sprawled at an unnatural angle. The blood flow had been stopped, but it still stained his uniform and his exposed skin. His eyes were wide, like he was in shock and he seemed to be muttering several things at once at Snape. She made one last effort and pushed to the front of the crowd. Pomfrey's eyes landed on her and she immediately started giving her instructions for crowd control so that they could move Draco to the infirmary.

She blinked and started calling for the Perfects and any other students she recognized to help her clear a path. Snape joined her as Pomfrey levitated Draco, much to his protest and moved him forward. When they passed, Snape moved to follow them. She watched their hasty retreat back to the castle, catching sight of Draco's clenched fist at his side.

"What the bloody hell happened?" Ron asked Harry. She turned to look at her friend who was running a hand through his hair. He seemed shaken. "I don't know." It seemed the crowd hushed at those words. She walked to him and looped her arm around his as they walked back toward the castle.

"What happened before he fell?" she asked softly to Harry. He shook his head. "I don't know, he just stopped and…" he trailed off. She nodded walking slower. "He seemed in pain though." he suddenly said. They stopped. She looked to him to continue. "Something about his face, and then he fell."

"You don't think they're going to blame me?" He asked suddenly spinning back to face her. She shook her head. "No. It wasn't your fault." He nodded running another hand through his dark tresses. "He looked pretty banged up."

"It's just his leg." She willed the images of the broken angle it had lain out of her mind. "It could have been worse."

 _He could have died._

She left Harry at the Gryffindor Tower before heading to the infirmary. She paused at the entryway. Snape and Pomfrey seemed to be arguing about something, while Draco had his head in his hands. He seemed surprisingly calm though three shades paler than he normally was. Gods knew how that was possible.

She trudged closer as Draco snapped at the two adults. "I'm bloody fine. I told you before. I haven't been sleeping well. That's probably why I near collapsed on my broom. Can we please focus on my leg?" Pomfrey stared down at him, studying him closely. He met her gaze, unflinching. After a minute, she threw her hands up in defeat. "I'll get the pain potions. Merlin knows you'll be needing it after the numbing wears off."

She held her breath as Pomfrey snapped in the opposite direction toward her storage area, hugging as she went. She contemplating turning back and heading to her room. She didn't have to be here. Malfoy wasn't fine, though looking worse for wear. Her thoughts were interrupted when a voice rang out.

"If you have something to say Ms. Granger, you may do so in plain sight." Snape said without turning around. She scowled before defiantly continuing all the way over to the bed. Snape regarded her for a moment before he turned to Draco. Something like an understanding seemed to pass between the two before he turned and left the infirmary.

She glanced down at his leg that was thankfully dressed and aligned in the correct direction. The images of how it had been on the field flashed before her, and her stomach churned involuntarily.

"So…" She began.

"It's smashed." He said in a tone much like someone would use in describing the weather. If he thought it was odd that she was there, he didn't show it. He seemed bored, though his eyes were trailing her with a slight glint in them.

"That was quite a fall." She pressed on.

"I suppose it was."

His steel gray eyes kept their gaze on hers. She shook her head after a moment in defeat. If anything, he was less inclined to confide in her about what happened than Pomfrey. His stubbornness was almost admirable. Though, right now, it only served to increase her frustration.

"You've been avoiding me."

She bit it out. There. Straight and to the point. He couldn't avoid answering that directly.

A thin smirk grew across his face as he leaned back into the pillow.

She crossed her arms before continuing, "I wanted to…"

"Are all your friends alright?" he interrupted her. She blinked. "Of course they are, you're the only one who was injured in the game."

He furrowed his brows before shaking his head.

"No, I meant your friends outside these castle walls."

She stopped, the warmth of her blood lost. Her friends were here at Hogwarts. The only people who weren't at the school… He couldn't possibly mean the Order, could he?

He waited for her answer. "Everyone I know is fine." she finally said. He nodded, though his brows furrowed again as he muttered something to himself. _Hasn't happened._ She caught before he grimaced and gingerly reached to message part of his leg.

"It's starting to hurt, isn't it?"

It could have been a question, but she already knew the answer to it.

He nodded weakly. She sighed. "I'll get Pomfrey." She moved in the direction she'd seen the nurse take only minutes before, when he called out to her.

"Granger."

She turned.

He bit his lip. "Thank you for your concern."

The words shocked her. She felt her hands tremble before she practically ran to Madame Pomfrey. He'd thanked her. He'd thanked _her. Mudblood Granger._

 _He hasn't said Mudblood in 2 years._

And why was that exactly?

* * *

She found Harry later, pulling him to the side. "All those meetings with Dumbledore. No one's." she took a breath, "No one's been hurt, right?"

Harry nodded. "Everyone's fine, which is what's got me going crazy. _He_ should be doing something, making a move. Instead, he's waiting it out."

She bit her lip. "Well, at least it gives us time to do the same."

It's a week later when they get the news. Tonks had been attacked.

* * *

Well not just Tonks, a few other members of the Order had been targeted. Minor skirmishes. Warm up fights.

Draco's words still rung in her head.

 _Are all your friends alright?_

 _The one's outside these castle walls._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

He had to have known. There was no other explanation. She watched him. Checked his arm. No mark. She almost wished there had been. It would be simpler. Easier with someone to blame. Though when she got down to it, if Draco had known about it, why ask?

She grimaced. Somehow between August to now, he'd become Draco in her head. Not Malfoy.

He was more relaxed now. Funny, one would think that nearly collapsing off your broom and falling to near death, you'd be more on edge. She shut her Charms book with a huff and dropped it on the table in front of her. Her mind wouldn't focus on the damn thing.

The door to the dormitories opened and Draco walked in, book casually held at his side, humming. Merlin, humming. He dropped his book at the counter and turned into their tiny kitchen, ignoring her.

Her temper flared, how could he do that? Feign ignorance and calm, when he'd dropped such a bombshell on her. She felt her feet move on their own toward the humming.

"Why did you ask?" She says coming into the kitchen.

He stiffened hearing her come in. He began to move slowly, grabbing an apple from the icebox.

"I fear the Greeks even when they come bearing gifts."

The quote floors her. The way the lines crinkle around his eyes. He knew it. The prat was laughing at her.

"I thought you purebloods were above reading muggle literature."

Draco took a bite from his apple, chewing slowly. "I'm disappointed in you Granger; no one actually knows if Virgil was a muggle or not. Though in this case, I suppose it doesn't matter. The Romans, even the Greeks, were the most civilized, and yet, the most barbaric societies. The appeal on either side of the spectrum is almost intoxicating."

She bit her tongue before retorting. "Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."

Draco stopped chewing. His eyes narrowed.

"Who wishes to fight must first count the cost."

Different era, but still far reaching. She wondered just how many books were in the library at Malfoy Manor. It certainly seemed like Draco had dug his hands deep into quite a few. Though the image of a young Draco reading the _Art of War_ , almost sent her laughing.

"I suppose it's fitting then, that we are in fact talking about war." She said, forcing the mental image away.

He tossed the apple in the waste bin before moving to walk past her. She stuck her hand out to stop him. He sighed, and the expression on his face was almost painful.

"No man will hurl me down to Death, against my fate. And fate? No one alive has ever escaped it, neither brave man nor coward, I tell you - it's born with us the day that we are born."

They remain there. Her hand on his chest. He completely rigid beneath her touch. It's quite a bit of time, before he takes another breath.

"Please Granger, let me go." He was drained, practically swaying in front of her. She dropped her arm, and he disappeared to his room. Trembling, she ran to her own room and slammed the door shut. She pressed her back to the door and slid down to the floor. It was too close. They'd been too close.

She shut her eyes and leaned her head back. The only thing she'd gained from her interrogation attempt was more questions and lingering pain in her heart.

* * *

She left him alone. If he was grateful, he never said. That night after their kitchen confrontation he'd slept in the Slytherin House. He didn't come back for a week. When he did, she left. Ginny took her in, spouting insults directed at Malfoy. She didn't have it in her to correct the other girl.

"Any news." She sat by Harry in the Common Room. It was late. Most of their housemates were in bed, and the few that remained weren't paying them any mind.

He shook his head. "I think they're planning something. Something bigger than...than what happened to Tonks." His hand went carefully to his forehead, before dropping it suddenly. "I have something I'd like you to look into." he leaned in to whisper before passing her a folded piece of parchment. She stuck it in her pocket.

The question is dancing on her tongue, begging to be asked. There's no harm now. If war is imminent, lines have to be drawn. Allies separated from enemies.

 _And she had to know where Malfoy stood._

"Has Dumbledore said anything about Malfoy?"

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Why?" His tone is accusing. She shook her head in response.

"I meant if he knew where he plans to stand in all of this?"

Harry relaxed and leaned back into the couch. "If he trusted him, he wouldn't say. You know how Dumbledore is." he waved his hand in the air.

"But."

Merlin help her, she'd been dying to hear that word.

"But I did see him going to meet with Dumbledore. I was leaving and there he was." Harry bit his lip, "I think he was expecting him."

That was it then. A declaration of a side. The proof of it was worth more than finding nothing scrawled across his arm. The thought warmed her, spreading from her gut all across her body.

The door to the Common Room opened and slammed. She cleared her throat, and moved away from Harry.

"Calm down Ron." Ginny exclaimed, walking into the room. The other redhead in question was not far behind.

"Bloody prat didn't even apologize." He was muttering.

Hermione turned to the girl who shrugged her shoulders. "When has Malfoy ever apologized for running into anyone." She said tersely coming to sit beside them.

"He should have. You'd think with all those manners beaten into him, he'd actually use them."

Harry grinned at Ron's exasperation. Even she cracked a smile at Ron's frustration.

"Well, in all honesty it wasn't his fault. He seemed distracted." Ginny pursed her lips and eyed Hermione, "Let's just count ourselves fortunate he didn't dock house points like he did to some first year Hufflepuff last week."

Hermione shook her head. She'd had to return the points later under the guise of something else. Docking House points for something so trivial was just absurd.

"Well, I'm going to bed." She said moving off the couch and toward the stairs. Ginny chimed in her agreement and looped her arm in hers. When they got to the room, Ginny asked, "

So what's happened between you and Malfoy?"

She inhaled a sharp breath. "Nothing." She said, hoping she sounded calm. Ginny shook her head before closing the door.

"Can't be nothing. Don't get me wrong, I love when you stay over, but you haven't been back to the Head's Dorm in 2 weeks. And Malfoy…" she trailed off, "Well, he's been all sorts of crazy for just as long." She put her hands on her hips in a manner eerie of her mother and waited.

Hermione was silent. Ginny raised a brow. "I'm not telling Ron, if that's what you're worried about."

She shook her head. "We had an argument."

"About?"

Again she shook her head. What had they been arguing about? The war. The Order. Trust.

"You know how he's been since the broom incident." She started, "I just confronted him about it, and"

 _He answered me in riddles._

 _"_ And he got very defensive. I think I pushed too hard, so I decided we needed some space."

Ginny's brow was furrowed. "It must have been some argument, because I've never seen you back away from anything."

She shivered recalling how her hand had pushed against his chest. His gray eyes had seemed like silver.

 _"_ _No one alive has ever escaped it, neither brave man nor coward, I tell you - it's born with us the day that we are born."_

"This was different." she said weakly. Ginny shook her head before opening her trunk and rummaging around for her night clothes. "Whatever it was, I'm sure you're in the right."

She said nothing, taking the clothes that Ginny handed her. She wasn't though. Not really. Ginny, thankfully, let it rest. Soon, the redhead was snoring. She tucked part of the duvet under her head and was soon lost in her thoughts. As she succumbed to sleep, she decided she would go back. She wouldn't hide anymore.

Well maybe until Friday. It gave her two days to prepare herself. Though, she wasn't sure how much that would help.

* * *

After Charms, she'd worked up enough Gryffindor courage and devised a plan. She would not engage in anything. They wouldn't need to even mention it again. Forgiven. Buried. _But not forgotten._

She tugged at the sleeves of her rob as she turned the corner toward the tower.

"Granger." She heard someone call from behind her. Pansy Parkinson. She suppressed a groan before turning toward the girl.

Pansy strode toward her almost like she was dancing. Her dark bob swaying as she stepped.

"You haven't sent Draco out on some Hogsmeade trip recently, have you?" She said stopping a foot from Hermione.

She frowned. "Why would I send…"

"I haven't seen him in two days." Pansy interrupted. The concern was visible in her eyes, though the rest of her face was like stone. She stared down Hermione. "And you haven't seen from longer." She said then.

"You don't think he's missing." Hermione blurted out. He couldn't be missing. The Headmaster or Snape would have announced it by now. He had to be hiding out somewhere. Though two days. An unsettling feeling came over her.

Pansy seemed to ignore her as she hunched over a particular bracelet on her arm. She watched as the girl muttered something to herself, before straightening.

"Oh I think he's where he's supposed to be." She finally said before placing a potion vial in her hand. "Give him that will you. He's probably in dire need of it."

She turned to leave, when Hermione called back after her.

"Where do you think he is?"

Pansy regarded her over her shoulder. "I imagine his room. Isn't that where most students go when they don't have class?"

Hermione scowled and didn't move until Pansy's light footsteps could no longer be heard. "Which room?" she muttered, before the statue came into view. She whispered her password and walked slowly up the stairs. His door was slightly cracked open. She put her book slowly on the couch before she stood at the door. There hadn't been a single sound since she'd come in. She paused at the doorway before knocking lightly. One second. Two. Nothing. Then a low moan. She opened the door stepping in.

She wasn't sure what she expected to find, but it wasn't a clean room with a stack of books on the desk that had been dragged up closer to the window. Her eyes drifted to the bed where Draco lay tangled between dark green sheets. He muttered something before burying his head into the pillow and coughing roughly.

It was then that she noticed the empty vials at his nightstand, casually thrown next to a lone box of kleenex.

"Dra-Malfoy." She said, correcting her mistake quickly. No response.

She inched closer. "Malfoy." She tried again louder. He twisted to his side, and she made out the words; Mum. No. Run.

 _Run._

His muttering seemed to turn distressful as he jerked back the other way.

A nightmare.

She put the vial on the stand and gently shook him. "Draco." She didn't bother correcting it. "Draco." She called again louder. His eyes fluttered open, and he jolted awake, panting. His eyes darted across the room before settling on her. "What are you doing in here?" His voice was hoarse.

"I came to give you this from Pansy." She pulled the vial from the stand, "And you seemed to be having a,"

Nightmare.

"Bad dream." she finally said.

He nodded slightly, leaning back into the pillow and taking the vial gently from her hands. "Thank Merlin for Pansy." he murmured before downing the contents of the vial. Then it dawned on her. Pain potion.

He added the empty vial to his growing collection before he turned back to regard her. He raised a brow, expectantly. She blushed before moving off the bed. "You're sick."

"Very Observant." He said before coughing into his arm.

She scowled before crossing her arms.

"For how long?"

He grimaced rubbing his temples. "Two days." he mumbled. She nodded. It fit with Pansy's story. He rubbed the back of his neck, not truly meeting her gaze. She'd be willing to bet he hadn't moved much from his spot in all that time. He didn't exactly seem capable of taking care of himself.

"Are you hungry?" She blurted.

He snapped back to regard her.

"So I know whether to make soup or tea." She continued, trying not to be fazed by his obvious scrutiny.

He frowned, obviously confused. She stifled a grin at the sight. He looked so young and innocent, the way his lip had jut forward as he'd examined her like a puzzle.

"Consider this my peace offering." she said softly. He hesitated before nodding.

"Tea."

She smiled as she turned toward the kitchen.

"Granger." She turned. He bunched the sheets in his hands. "You don't have to."

"I think I want too."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

They spent the weekend with her cooking something for the two of them and checking on him periodically. When he was awake, they'd talk. Nothing serious. School mostly. She got to hear about those special classes, he and the choice few had been placed in. He'd laughed at her obvious jealousy.

Her only concern was that he didn't seem to be getting any better. In fact, she suspected he was worse. Not that he'd admit to it.

She clutched the thermos and her supplies close to her as she walked up the steps. The school elves had been eager to give her all the food she could have possibly asked for from the school's. The thermos was the soup they'd made.

When she reached the top of the steps, she noticed a light on in Draco's bedroom. When the sounds of choking reached her ears, she dropped her bags on the ground and bolted through the door. The sounds were coming from his bathroom, and without a second thought she yanked the door open. He stayed where he was, hunched over the sink, coughing. She caught sight of the red on the pale porcelain.

She waited until his coughing subsided before she spoke.

"I think you need to see Madame Pomfrey."

"No." He stumbled away from the sink, wiping the corner of his mouth.

"That's blood Draco."

He swayed on his feet as he moved to walk away from her. She quickly tucked her shoulder under his arm and led him back to his room. He sat at the edge of the mattress. "I'm not going to the infirmary." he said stiffly. She opened her mouth to argue.

"Hermione."

She hesitated. "Hermione please." he said again.

He'd never said her name before, but that, the way it fell off his tongue, made it seem like it was the most beautiful melody ever written. She had to stop herself from shivering at each syllable. He had her attention now. "Get Blaise."

She bit her lip. Blaise had always seemed rather levelheaded. If she got him here, maybe he'd help her convince Draco to see Pomfrey.

"Fine."

He sighed in relief. "Just lay back down. I'll be back." She said. After she was sure he was comfortable, she left the dorm and headed down to the dungeons.

* * *

The halls were empty, which was probably for the best. She barreled down steps as fast as her legs would carry her. She didn't even get a fourth of the way there before the boy in question came into view. "Blaise." She shouted running after him. He turned, shock clear on his face. "Granger what are you…"

"I need you to come with me." She said breathlessly.

"What?"

"It's about Draco."

He stared at her in disbelief before nodding slightly. Something in her face seemed to convince him, she was serious.

"Lead the way.

They passed a few stray Slytherins as they walked steadily up the steps. When the halls had cleared again, he stopped her.

"What's going on?"

So she told him, starting from when she'd come to the dorm on Friday, and ending with the blood in the sink.

"He has to go to the infirmary. If it's blood, I can't." She stammered. Blaise was silent.

"He probably should have gone to the infirmary the day you found him." She shook her head. "It didn't seem that bad."

"If you saw it, it was bad." Blaise said. He seemed to deliberate something, before he sighed and continued.

"Do you know Draco spent 6 months at St. Mungo's when we were 9?"

Merlin.

Blaise's eyes grew distant as he seemed to recall the time. "Got really sick, nearly died. His immune system took a real hit after that. He's alright now, but in the beginning, our first through third year especially, he was sick constantly."

"I don't understand…"

"Do you remember that time in Potions in third year, when we learned about the Waking Dream Potion?"

She nodded. A hallucinogenic potion, though a mild one.

"And Snape asked you what ingredient could be added to strengthen the spell so that it's mere smell could cause hallucinations. You said lavender, which was wrong."

Her cheeks flamed at the memory.

"He asked Draco, who said,"

"Foxglove and a dash of vervain." She said, "I don't understand what this has to do with our current situation."

Blaise looked down at her, similar to a parent who was dealing with an unruly child. "Don't you find it odd that he didn't tease you about it that day. He just muttered the response and let your mistake go."

She frowned, struggling to remember that day. Had he really not taunted her, lorded over his success at her expense?

"He was sick that day." Blaise continued, "Could barely talk. And still, he used a glamour and went about the day as though everything was perfect. My point Granger is that if he could hide it, he would have. Weakness in our families, particularly Draco's, isn't exactly acceptable."

The guilt settled in her gut. "Then we need to get Pomfrey."

He shook his head. "Go against him now, and he loses whatever trust he has in you. Let me talk to him first."

She wanted to argue, but there was no argument to be made. Blaise knew Draco. She didn't, and she couldn't find much flaw in his logic. She walked briskly in front of him. "Well, let's hurry this up then."

He easily met up with her. His long strides were the equivalent of two of hers. They were quick to reach the tower. Blaise turned as she muttered her password. The minute the door opened he sprinted ahead of her and up the last bit of stairs.

He was already in Draco's room when she reached the Common Room. Their voices carried into the hall.

 _I underestimated the stress._

 _Can't stay in the Infirmary._

She lingered at the doorway. Blaise was standing near the head of the bed, arms crossed in front of him. Draco was propped up on his pillow. She took in his face. While normally pale, his skin had taken a graying tone, making the bags under his eyes seem more pronounced. He looked a breath from death. He probably felt it too.

The minute her foot had edged into the room, his eyes had snapped to meet her. He glanced back at Blaise. "I'm not going to repeat myself Zabini." he said, "I already told Granger no."

Anger bubbled in her chest. How could he be so damned stubborn. He was seriously ill, and for whatever pride-filled excuse, he was refusing to see reason. She snapped.

"So you'd rather die, because of your stubbornness." She clamped her hand over her mouth. Blaise's mouth hung open. Draco's jaw was clenched, but his eyes were wide.

 _No man will hurl me down to Death, against my fate._

She turned on her heel and fled the room.

 _Down to Death._

 _Down to Death._

 _Down to Death._

Those words. Haunting her from the moment he spoke them. She wrapped her arms around her side and sat at the edge of the couch. A moment later Draco's door opened and then closed. "Granger." Blaise said softly. She met his gaze. "Let's go." She stood and followed him to the steps.

"Go where?" She finally asked.

"You're getting Pomfrey."

"And you?"

He seemed grim.

"I'm getting Snape."

* * *

She stumbled after him. She was seriously starting to hate the Slytherin ability to practically glide as they moved from place to place. "Why Snape?"

He paused. They reached the castle corridors. If she headed down the left, she'd reach the infirmary in under 10 minutes. "Snape is Draco's godfather."

Her mouth dropped.

"Salazar knows how the whole school hasn't already found out."

Blaise turned to the right, toward what she could only assume where Snape's private quarters. She shook her head and headed in the opposite direction.

* * *

Pomfrey had needed convincing to leave her post in the infirmary. It was only at her adamant insistence that the patient in question could not be moved that she'd even agreed to follow her. As they neared the tower where the Head's dormitory lay, Pomfrey's reluctance seemed to mold into curiosity. She knew the other witch hadn't believed Draco feeble excuse for why he'd fallen off his broom last month. In her mind, the two events were related somehow. Though, she'd yet to find the connection. No doubt, the same was going through Pomfrey's mind.

Somehow she doubted they'd learn much unless Draco wished to share. He seemed quite capable of keeping things to himself.

She could feel Snape's presence, even before they entered the room. The air had thickened. Snape was stiff, standing at the foot of the bed. Blaise lingered in the corner, face impassive. Her eyes then drifted to Draco, whose eyes were half-closed. They opened slightly at their entrance. He looked bored. The sodding git.

She glanced between Snape and his supposed godson, searching for some kind of familiarity in their interactions. It was there, she supposed, in Draco's somewhat relaxed posture and the hints of concern in Snape's eyes. In fact, if she looked back through all their years at Hogwarts, she could easily pick out evidence that hinted at a relationship that ran deeper than student and mentor. The favoritism that bordered nepotism. The easy conversation. Snape's mad dash across the field when he'd fallen.

She shuddered at the memory, willing the sound of bones snapping out of her mind. Pomfrey had bent down and was scanning Draco's chest with her wand. Her brow was furrowed. She moved to speak but hesitated. Her eyes darting from Hermione to Blaise before returning to Draco. He merely waved for her to speak.

The witch nodded before settling her eyes on Hermione, perhaps the least volatile and objectively neutral person in the room. "It seems quite like muggle pneumonia." Hermione's eyes widened as Pomfrey glanced back at Draco with a mixture of annoyance and genuine concern. "You should have come to me before now. It's progressed to an advanced stage. Given the circumstances, St Mungo's."

"No." Draco exclaimed. He seemed panicked. Realizing himself, he schooled his features. "I do not need to go to St. Mungo's. If it's a lack of resources that can easily be dealt with." He may have been speaking to Pomfrey, but his eyes never left Snape for a moment. "Anything you need." He added after a moment.

The woman seemed ready to argue, when Snape interrupted.

"Madame, if the boy is too ill to be moved to the infirmary, how then can we be expected to move him to St. Mungo's? It is perhaps better he recovers in an environment more familiar to him. It would eliminate any other possible causes of distress." His lips pursed at the final word. Draco bit his lip, the displeasure at being regarded as nothing more than a cowering child clear on his face. Though, he said nothing.

She frowned. He'd refused the infirmary first, and now St. Mungo's. Why the insistence in remaining in the confines of this room?

"I suppose." Pomfrey finally said, "but I will not be able to constantly move between the Infirmary and here."

 _He loses whatever trust he has in you._ So he trusted her. A mediocre amount, but it was something. A favor then. A gesture of goodwill, and maybe just maybe, it would help her tear a crack in those thick walls of his.

"But I am here." Hermione interjected, ignoring Snape's cool gaze, "You only have to tell me what needs to be done."

Pomfrey nodded in assent. She turned to Draco. "Anything I need?"

Draco blinked. "If you give me a list, you'll have it all by tomorrow."

Pomfrey nodded again before leaving the room, muttering something about children being too rich for their own good. Snape followed without a word and shut the door swiftly behind him.

Hermione let out a breath.

"You should have offered a bribe." Blaise said coming to sit at the edge of the mattress. "New beds for the infirmary."

Draco groaned and rubbed his temples. "Would have been a bloody rip off. There's hundreds of beds in there."

She couldn't help the smile that formed at her lips.

"I'm sure the Malfoy estate can handle it."

Draco snorted, "I'm not using a single galleon from the Malfoy estate. I don't need father wondering why I've suddenly decided to make a charitable donation to the wonderful establishment that is the Hogwarts' Infirmary."

Blaise snickered.

"I think the Black family vault at Gringotts should be able to cover it all very nicely."

"Black?" She said. Draco met her gaze before sheepishly looking away. "My inheritance on my mother's side." he said, "I'm the last male descendant of the Black family line." His tone was even, but his face held a sense of discomfort.

She nodded slowly, though she couldn't help but think of a house tucked away on Grimmauld that fit into the Black family estate. It made her wonder, if the boy in front of her had a greater claim to that particular family 'heirloom' than the boy who currently held the deed.

"Your mother doesn't monitor it?" She asked. He shrugged. "If she does, she hasn't said." he murmured, closing his eyes. He coughed, his entire chest heaving at the effort. She felt the urge to comfort him, rub circles along his back like her mother used to. Pneumonia. Merlin. People died of pneumonia.

The door to the room opened and Snape came in with a potion vial in hand. He deposited it on the bedside table and looked down at Draco. Again, conversations passed between them, unheard to the rest of them. Draco dipped his chin slightly. Snape apparently satisfied with this answer nodded. "I still expect your assignment to be turned in on time." Draco shrugged. "I've already done it."

"I'm sure you have."

Draco held his hand out toward the desk in the corner. After a moment, the drawer near the window flew open and pages of parchment stacked themselves neatly in his outstretched hand. He held it back up toward their professor, who collected the pages without a word. His gaze lingered on the boy's face, and he pressed his free hand lightly on Draco's shoulder.

Hermione bit her tongue and stole a glance toward Blaise, who was watching the two with clear fascination.

Then Snape turned and left the room. The door shut and Draco collapsed back into the pillow. She stifled a laugh at the sight. Blaise grinned and moved to stand at the head of the bed. He knelt down so that his head was leveled with Draco.

"What would you like me to tell Slytherin?"

Draco groaned and ducked his head beneath the pillow. A slew of muffled curses followed.

She glanced at Blaise confused. "They're going to ask why you're not in the infirmary." Draco groaned again before tossing the pillow off his face. He ran a hand through his hair. "And I can't afford to lose control of Slytherin now." he muttered, more to himself than them.

"And why can't you stay in the infirmary?" She prodded. "None of your goddamn business." he snapped.

"No, I'm just the one who's going to be taking care of your arrogant pureblood ass. I don't have to know a thing." She snapped back. Blaise laughed at that. Draco shook his head, rubbing his temples. "That's not what I meant." he said closing his eyes, "Salazar my head." After a moment, his lids opened and he reached into the drawer beside him and pulled out a ring. The signet held a scripted M. A family ring. He pressed his thumb to the letter and muttered lowly. When he was finished he deposited the ring back into its place and turned to Blaise. "There, temporarily taken care of."

"What was that?" She said moving to the drawer.

"Protean Charm, or a variation of it." Draco said with a smug expression on his face.

"Draco's spelled them to carry vocal messages." Blaise added.

She glanced at Draco in awe at the modification and somewhat disappointed that she hadn't thought to do it herself when it hit her. "Pansy's bracelet." She exclaimed, "That's how she knew where you were." Draco frowned. "Bloody supposed to keep it a secret." He muttered. He grabbed the vial from Snape and downed the contents.

"Do you want me to stay?" Blaise said grimacing at the sight of potion. Draco shook his head. Their eyes met, and she watched yet another silent conversation occur before her eyes. Damned Slytherins. "Get well, mate." Blaise said before exiting.

Alone.

"You don't have to keep watch over me." he said after a moment, "You need to go to class and keep up appearances."

"I just volunteered to watch you, how will I know if something happens to you if I leave?"

He thought for a moment before swinging his legs over and getting up. She moved to help him, but he waved her off.

"I'm ill not paralyzed." he said and his wand appeared in his hand with a pop. She frowned. Just how much wandless magic did Draco now know?

"Do you have something you'd like to spell?" He said easily. Her eyes widened. "A Protean Charm?"

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

She stopped for a moment to realize that Draco Malfoy, the epitome of aristocratic elegance had snorted at her, then with a laugh at her lips she dashed to her room. He followed slowly behind her. She rummaged through her trunk before drawing out a necklace with an oval locket. Her mother had given it to her for her 15th birthday. She'd never been a jewelry wearer, but the locket was beautiful. Gold and decorated in engraved flowers. It had been a personal treasure ever since.

Draco took it carefully in his hands and tapped his wand to it, murmuring the incantation. After a moment he handed it back to her. "Just touch the locket and then say your message. The only one listening will be me so you don't need to specify who you want the message to go to."

"How did you even figure this out." She turned the locket over in her hand before clasping the chain around her neck, "Adding voices to a Protean Charm?" He looked away. "I had quite the summer."

"So I keep hearing."

He said nothing before walking toward the door. He turned back at the last second. "You called me Draco before." he said. When the question never came, she answered.

"It's your name."

"Yes, but you've only ever called me Malfoy." he said thoughtfully.

She shifted on her feet at his gaze.

"Maybe it's because you're different now."

A thin smile played at his mouth. "Maybe."

"Goodnight." He lingered at the doorway catching her eyes before turning and disappearing back to his room.

"Night." She murmured, clutching the locket.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

It was odd, checking on Draco before she left for class in the morning and then worrying about him all through Herbology and Ancient Ruins. Potions was just about to start. The last class before she'd be free to return to her dorm.

"So is it true?" Ron said taking his seat in beside her, "Malfoy's ill?"

She nodded. Ron shrugged, as though Malfoy's illness was mere gossip and not important. She wondered if he understood that though Malfoy was a prat, he was a human prat.

"I heard Pomfrey wanted to move him to St. Mungo's." He continued, studying her face to gage her reaction.

If she weren't so shocked by the declaration, she'd marvel at the rumor mill that was Hogwarts. It seemed nothing could stay a secret. The eyes of several of her classmates came to rest on her. Whatever she said next was going to be heard by more than just Ron.

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I heard something like that, but I think they decided he was too sick to be moved anywhere."

"What's he sick with Hermione?" Harry said sitting beside Ron.

"Something like pneumonia." She bit her tongue, incredibly uncomfortable to be airing out news about Draco's health to others.

"Merlin." Harry exclaimed, his green eyes widening, "He's that sick?"

She nodded.

"How do you get pneumonia at the age of 17?" he exclaimed.

She sighed, rubbing her temple. "I don't know, but he sounds bloody awful. Even with his door closed, I can still hear him coughing from down the hall."

It had scared her beyond belief. She'd ended up waking every hour just to check and make sure he was still breathing when the coughing stopped.

Harry nodded leaning forward. "Have you had a chance to look at that thing I told you about?" He whispered.

She shook her head, though she was grateful for the subject change. "I have the books, but with people coming in and out of my dorm because of Malfoy, I haven't had the chance to look into it properly."

He seemed slightly put off by her answer, but quickly the emotion vanished. His eyes looked up above her. She turned and saw Blaise take his seat on her other side. Snape had assigned partners at the beginning of the term, in the spirit of inter-house unity a Slytherin had been paired with a Gryffindor. She was lucky to have gotten Blaise. At least he was painfully polite. Besides, after their slight bonding over Draco, well, she understood him slightly better than before.

"Granger." Blaise greeted her and nodded in Ron and Harry's direction.

Professor Slughorn came in and immediately launched into an introduction on the potion they'd be expected to brew this week.

"How is he?" Blaise asked without so much as opening his mouth.

"He only asked for more blankets this morning, but since then nothing." She paused, "I think he's asleep."

Blaise nodded and pretended to turn to listen to Slughorn talk about Amortentia and its antidote.

"May I come back with you to your dorm, to check on Draco?"

She bit her lip at the unexpected request. Unsure what to make of the request. She immediately felt slightly guilty and silly for thinking Blaise's intentions were anything but what they actually were. Draco had friends, of course they'd want to check on him. She nodded slightly after a moment, forcing herself to glance at the ingredients in front of him.

A flash of amusement flitted across his face, before his mask was back in place.

After a beat, she spoke.

"You were going to come whether I said yes or not."

It was a moment before he answered.

"Yes." And she could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

* * *

The class ended, with one cauldron brewing the potion and the other the antidote. Dinner in the Great Hall and after some quick excuses, she and Blaise slipped away to her dorm.

There were potion vials lined up on the kitchen counter when they entered. She glanced over the scribbled note beside them with instructions and various things to check for.

"He's still asleep." Blaise said leaning on the frame of the doorway. She nodded. "I think we should let him sleep for another hour. After that I'm going to wake him and see if he'll eat something."

Blaise had cocked his head at the word 'we', but she paid it no mind. Instead she answered the question he hadn't asked.

"Of course you can stay Blaise."

They each took a seat on a couch in the Common Room. Blaise pulled out his Charms book. The same one that Draco had. She bit back her jealousy at Blaise being another person in those 'special' classes. She pulled her own Charms book and began to read.

As she read, she felt Blaise's gaze drift to her every few moments. She ignored his scrutiny and attempted to continue reading and writing out her notes. After 30 minutes, her patience wore thin.

"Just ask already." She snapped.

Blaise looked at her bored, a look almost identical to the one Draco usually did. She met his gaze with equal intensity. When he looked away, she practically grinned.

"Why are you helping him?"

Ah.

She supposed it would seem odd, but to her it wasn't. She'd always had that about her. Wanting to help people. Her insufferable bleeding heart, Ron would always say.

"He's just a person who needed help. I wasn't going to sit by and let someone suffer like that, no matter who it was." She folded her arms, as if to protect herself from further scrutiny. Blaise remained unfazed despite the action.

"And you'd do that for anyone. Murderers, criminals?" he drawled.

She was quiet.

"Who am I to decide what anyone does or doesn't deserve?" She finally said.

"You don't want anything from him? Favors, information,"

"No." She snapped, aghast that he'd accuse her of wanting to help Draco for something in return.

 _He is a Slytherin. That's probably how they do things in their house._

"I just wanted to be sure." He said, taking his book back into his hand.

"That I wasn't taking advantage of him?" She felt mildly insulted. Honestly, what did Blaise take her for?

"Yes." He said, meeting her gaze, "It's happened before, and Draco may pretend it doesn't bother him, but I know it does."

She straightened and moved to the edge of her seat. Blaise, realizing she wanted him to elaborate, sighed and placed the book on the center coffee table.

"Is it so hard to believe? That people wouldn't want to take advantage, get close to him because of who he is and what that means. People flock to the name Malfoy. Mothers push their daughters in his direction hoping he'll take just a second glance in their direction."

She didn't know why, but she grimaced at that.

"He's judged for every and anything he does or doesn't do."

She wanted to protest that it can't all be true. This was Draco Malfoy, who flaunted his name and his family at any chance he got. Who lived for attention.

Or was that who he was?

Or was it who he thought he had to be?

It all made her head spin. The only thing she knew for sure was that Draco was extremely talented at hiding things he didn't want seen.

She stood hoping her body didn't match the trembling in her chest.

"I'm going to go check on him."

She must have looked mad, dashing from the Common Room to Draco's. She opened the door and took care not to step on any creaking floorboards.

He had kicked off most of the blankets, except for a thin light green one that was only half draped over his tall frame. Her eyes took in his creamy skin, lingering at his forearms.

There was nothing there, she'd already checked.

She felt guilty at her thoughts, and moved to carefully position the blanket properly. Her hand grazed his forehead. He was burning up. He mumbled at the contact and turned to his side, burying his head into the pillow. She smiled at the unguarded action.

He grimaced and the mumbling seemed to become slightly coherent.

"Winter greets us with smoke."

She froze. His tone had been monotone and so eerily familiar. He said it again, and his face grew agitated.

The same withdrawn voice.

She realized then why it sounded familiar.

 _It sounded like Madame Trelawney, or what she wished she sounded like._

Draco began thrashing about, twisting and tangling his limbs between his sheets. "Draco." She called, reaching for his shoulder to shake him. He turned and his voice grew louder.

"No. No. No. Get out." he called over and over.

"Draco." She was shouting now, trying to pull him out of whatever terror had gripped him.

"Please." he said. He fought against her, and she quickly moved away from his thrashing limbs.

"BLAISE!" She yelled.

"Get out. Get OUT!" He heaved, turning onto his stomach.

Dark arms pushed passed her and gripped Draco by the shoulders. He turned him back over and held him down.

"Draco, snap out of it. You aren't there." Blaise said loudly, but not quite yelling. Draco moaned, as though he were in pain.

"Get out." Draco said again, softer. Blaise kept his grip firm. "Come on mate. Come back."

Draco stilled and his eyes flew open. "In smoke." He choked, before huddling over and coughing so hard his shoulders trembled. Blaise's hands dropped from his shoulder, but he stayed, one leg hoisted up on the bed, half straddling Draco.

Draco panted, slowly breathing before he moaned again and rubbed his temples.

Blaise moved off the bed as Draco sat up with head in his hands.

"Oh my god."

They both turned to her, seeming to remember she was in fact in the room.

"Oh my god." she repeated, her extensive vocabulary had abandoned her.

"Hermione." Draco said softly, "Please leave." He slumped forward, seemingly exhausted. Her eyes met Blaise's who dipped his head in a small nod.

She turned on her heel and left. Left the room. Left the dorm. Left the tower. Her legs kept moving until she found herself standing at the edge looking out at Hogwarts' spiraling forests. She looked around the Astronomy tower and then turned back to look at the forests.

Draco was…

"Hermione?"

She stiffened at the wispy voice.

"Luna?"

"I thought it was you." The blonde said coming out of the corner, completely calm. As though they both weren't sitting in a restricted part of the castle at an obscenely late hour.

"You look flushed Hermione. I hope you're not getting sick too."

Her wits seemed to return to her at that moment, and she took a breath before replying.

"No. It's just Malfoy who's sick." she said, wincing as his surname passed from her lips.

"I heard. You should make him tea, with cinnamon and ginger." Her blue eyes caught the light, giving her an eerie appearance.

"I'll keep that in mind." she said, "What are you doing here Luna?"

"I could ask you the same question Hermione, but I think we both know that neither one of us is planning on telling the truth."

It's then that she's reminded that for all the dazed ramblings, Luna is in fact in Ravenclaw for a reason.

"No, I suppose not." Hermione finally answered and they both look up to the sky. Luna doesn't ask, but Hermione began to tell her anyway. It'd been eating at her, knawing her inside out, all these secrets and revelations she'd had when it came to Draco Malfoy.

Everything comes out. Everything but her most recent revelation. She couldn't bear to let that out. Not that she didn't trust Luna, but that particular secret was all Draco's.

Luna took it all. Didn't comment and kept her expression guarded. When she'd finally talked herself out, Luna spoke.

"It's ok to care about him Hermione."

She stammered.

"To like that he's different now."

"It's still him."

"I suppose it is." Luna said with a smile, "But then who else would he be?"

Hermione frowned. That observation was not helpful at all.

"He's a person. Same as you or me." Luna said simply turning to walk away.

"But he isn't." she blurted out.

Luna gave her an odd look.

"But maybe he's trying to be."

* * *

Her walk back to the dormitory was slow, and even when she reached the statue marking the entrance she waited, counting to 110 before Blaise came down the steps.

"You can go up." He said nonchalantly as he sidestepped her and continued down toward the dungeons.

She frowned, anger beginning to fester under her skin. It was her own bloody dorm too. She could come and go as she pleased. She marched up the steps, but when the staircase ended and the Common Room came into view, she stopped.

 _He's just a person. Same as you or me._

She took in a sharp breath and walked toward his room. She knocked lightly. When he called out for her to come in, she pushed the door open. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. He turned to look at her as she walked in.

"I'm..."

"You're a seer."

He let out a huff. "Something like that."

"How did this happen? How long?" Question after came out, and he waited patiently as she rattled them on and on.

"There's seer blood in both sides of my family. I just got enough of it to manifest some sort of ability." He paused running a hand through his hair. "And I suppose I've always had it. Random bouts of Deja vu all through my life, but ever since last year." He bit the inside of his cheek. "It's gotten stronger."

"And prophecies?"

He shook his head. "It's not like that. I don't sprout out ominous verse."

 _Except in your sleep._

"I see things." She met his gaze again. "I've tried to block them out, took fucking Occlumency lessons with Snape for months, but they still come when I sleep."

"And when you're awake?"

"Rarely. I can hold them off."

Her eyes widened. "So when you fell off the broom…"

"I got one. It was short though, seeing how I came out of it with enough time to stop myself from plummeting to my death."

"And you saw Tonks being attacked." she mumbled to herself.

"Not just her." he said softly.

She blinked and took him in. His cheeks were slightly flushed, probably from the fever, but the rest of him was pale. Every so often, he'd shiver. He was sick, and she'd just worked him up by talking about something he hadn't willingly wanted to tell her. He needed rest, and probably to eat.

There was a risk that if she didn't get answers now, she may never get them at all. But he looked like hell, and her heart went out to him. She'd get answers later, when he didn't look like he was about to die in her dorm.

"Have you eaten anything?"

He blinked. "What?"

"You look awful."

His brow rose.

"And I don't think it's right for me to interrogate you over all of this now. I'll get my answers when you're well, and you're not going to get well unless you eat, drink potions, and sleep." She put her hands on her hips, and he cracked a smile.

"No I haven't eaten."

She clapped her hands together. "Then soup." She turned to the kitchen and was surprised to hear his footsteps following her. He settled on one of the couches in the Common Room and wrapped a blanket around himself.

She'd found a can of soup and as it was cooking, she caught site of the tea kennel. With a flick of her wand, she'd filled it and had it over the stove. At the last second she added ginger and cinnamon. By all accounts, it wasn't a bad idea.

She heard him cough again from the room, and she shivered instinctively.

When she came in, she found him with their Defense Against the Dark Arts text in his hand, still shivering beneath the blanket.

She murmured a spell and increased the temperature in the room before settling on the other end of the couch.

"Granger." He said, eyeing the tray, "You really don't have to…"

"No, I really don't." She agreed, "But I told you already. I want too."

He nodded before taking the bowl of soup into his hands. She watched him sip the broth. His movements were like honey. Even the way he held a spoon screamed a certain sense of sophistication. All remnants of an aristocratic upbringing.

"Why don't you say it anymore?" She blurted. Maybe just one question, the most important one in her opinion, would be ok to ask now.

He paused. "Say what, Granger?"

She chewed her lip.

"Mudblood."

He put his spoon down.

"Because I don't believe it anymore."

She frowned, and bit the inside of her cheek. "Why?"

"Always questions Granger." He murmured before taking his spoon back in his hand. When she continued to stare at him, he put it back down. He took a kleenex from the box on the table and wiped his mouth.

"I went into Muggle London."

Had the world ended? Draco Malfoy pureblood Prince of Slytherin had willingly gone into the muggle world. She couldn't even comprehend the fact.

He laughed, though it quickly turned into a light cough.

"Oh gods, Granger." He said between gasps. She fumed, crossing her arms. When he regained some composure, she finally spoke.

"Why'd you go into Muggle London?"

He shrugged. "By accident really. During the summer before 5th year." His lips drew into a thin line as he chose his next words.

"I wanted to get out of the Manor. Things were tense, so I went to Diagon Alley and wandered around, and then somehow I crossed over."

He let out a huff of air.

"Probably not what you were expecting. Thought I went out to terrorize muggles and whatever." A tight smile spread on his face.

"No. I…" She stammered, "I'm just surprised. Once you realized you crossed, why didn't you immediately go back?"

"Morbid curiosity I suppose." He shrugged, "I wandered to a park and just sat on a bench and watched them. The muggles. They weren't doing much of anything. There was no magic, but they weren't barbaric or savage or filthy…" he trailed off.

"Just people." She murmured.

He nodded.

"It started to rain, and a muggle woman offered to share her umbrella with me." His eyes grew unfocused, "Completely unnecessary, but she did." He looked slightly bothered by the recollection.

"You didn't refuse?"

"It was that or get soaked. I think my choice was obvious."

She laughed, and was pleased when Draco cracked another smile.

She caught his eyes.

"But you went back."

He nodded. "Over and over." he murmured, "I saw her quite a bit, and she took to talking to me. Told me all about her children and grandchildren." He paused. "She was kind. Nicer to me than my own grandmother, and she didn't even know who I _was_."

She waited.

"It made me think about it. Muggleborns to purebloods."

"And?"

"They're not what I thought them to be, but purebloods are still superior."

She frowned.

He smirked. "Not like that. It's just. We have resources in our families, knowledge from generations and generations of other wizards to draw from. We know this world inside and out, and Muggleborns only get a glimpse through Hogwarts before they're thrown out into the rest of it, only to realize they don't know much at all."

She shuddered. He'd surprised her with his well-thought out response. In so many ways, he was right. She pushed the thought away.

"I suppose wealth is a good perk. Spells." he continued.

"Gifts." She said.

He frowned, his grey eyes darkening.

"What I have isn't a gift Granger." he bit his lip, "But what you have is."

She blinked.

"It's a gift to have your magic." he ran a hand through his hair, "There's a muggle physics theory that wizards have taken an interest in for decades. Parallel universes. In this world, there's a one in a million, billion, infinite chances that a muggle child is born with magic. It's probably the same in others, and if you think about the likelihood, in most of those universes you're probably a muggle with no idea that magic exists."

He took a breath.

"But in this one you have it, and that's a gift. Given as easily as it could have been taken away. And you know that. It's probably why you work so hard, read so much, because you want to take _advantage_ of it." he met her gaze. She looked away quickly.

Her heart drummed, and she became acutely aware that there was only a good foot and a half between them.

"You really are cleverer than I thought you were."

He laughed, dispelling the tension that had settled between them.

"Well, I am second in the class."

"In danger of becoming first more like." She said with a grin. He shook his head.

"No really, that shield you did in DADA was amazing. I've been working on it non-stop and I can only hold it for 5 minutes."

"It wasn't fair of Snape to ask me to do it." He said with a smirk, "I already knew the spell."

She raised a brow.

"Summer." he replied before taking a sip of his tea.

"It must have really been quite a summer."

"I suppose so." He said blankly.

She sighed. He obviously wasn't going to share much more on the subject. She held her hand out and summoned one of the vials from the kitchen to her. She scooted closer to him, and tentatively reached out to brush her fingertips on his forehead. He stiffened under the touch.

He was still warm, not as burning as before, but still dangerously hot.

"The fever hasn't broken yet." She murmured before handing him the vial. He took it gently, fingers brushing passed one another.

"Thank you." he muttered. He was quick to drink it. "You should rest." She said, unsure when they'd taken to talking in whispers.

He nodded.

"Night."

His eyes were glowing like silver, and she quickly looked away. When his door shut, she waited a moment before rushing to her room. Then she waited until his coughs turned to light breathing, before she went to her trunk and took out the worn volume. _Secrets of the Darkest Arts._ She took a deep breath before turning to the chapter she'd only glanced through before.

 _The Horcrux_.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you for everyone who left a review, it made my day reading them. Also, for abcd1255, you're right to think that Draco wouldn't experience an abrupt change of mind because of something so simple. I think most changes; though, occur in steps, and as the story progresses, the culmination of things that eventually forced Draco to change his mind will become clearer.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All quotes in this chapter come from the Iliad.

* * *

"So who else knows?" She murmured as they walked down the hall. He'd felt better by the third day and insisted on going to class. He was tired of four walls and silence. They'd argued for hours over it.

 _"_ _You can't even breathe properly. How do expect to make it through the day?"_

 _"_ _Merlin Granger, I'm going to go and sit in a classroom and probably fall asleep in History of Magic. I'm not running a marathon."_

Though after careful persuasion and against her better judgement, she'd found herself caving under those silver orbs.

She was starting to think that she was only getting more confused about Draco Malfoy as time went on.

"Snape. Dumbledore." he spat, obviously displeased at that fact, "Bugger actually guessed."

She hit his arm, as they came up on a few 3rd years. He shot her a look before sneering toward the children to get to class. When they rounded the corner, he continued. "Blaise." he pursed his lips, "Pansy suspects, but I haven't told her."

"And me." She said.

He nodded. "And you." He winced, rubbing his temple.

She was about to comment when he stopped, and turned to go down another hall. "Where are you going?"

"I have a Charms assignment I never turned in for Flitwick. I'll be there." he said waving her on.

"But it's Snape."

"He's my godfather, all he'll try to do is embarrass me when I walk in late." He coughed lightly. Again she moved to comment, but he beat her to it.

"I'm fine." he said walking down the hall.

She bit her lip and turned down the other hall. Harry and Ron were off to the side when she came in. She walked slowly toward them. The feeling of the dark text in her hands from the other night suddenly fresh on her mind. It was vile. The things written in that book made her want to toss it into her fireplace and then vanish the ashes. What could Harry possibly need from it?

"We have to meet tonight." she whispered when she finally reached them both.

Harry nodded, obviously expecting this. She was vaguely aware of the classroom door opening and then shutting.

"And you have to tell me why we are looking in that horrid book." she hissed before closing her mouth shut and focusing on the entering Professor.

Snape walked slowly to the front of the room. When he finally reached his place, the door opened again. A flash of white blonde hair confirmed it was Draco, who seemed determined to take his place amongst the Slytherins as quickly and quietly as possible.

"Mr. Malfoy."

Draco turned his head, and caught Snape's eye. Something flashed over their professor's face, gone as soon as it came. Hermione frowned, but Draco didn't show any signs of concern.

"Do take your place."

She watched as he crossed the room; that same aristocratic glide in his step. Though the rest of him gave away how he felt. His skin was still pale, tinged with gray, and based on the irregular movements of his chest, his breathing was still labored.

"Malfoy looks like hell." Harry commented, completely focused on his rival.

"Yeah. Prat should have stayed in bed, Snape looks like he's on a rampage." Ron replied.

Draco made it to the Slytherin side, and, immediately, Pansy had come over to inspect him. She leaned in and was obviously fussing over him. He said something to her, and she stilled and turned to face Snape.

Snape glanced at the room before clearing his throat. "We resume our lesson on the defenses of the mind."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Draco stiffen.

"Hallucination and other influences on the mind are extremely effective, though quite draining. They are meant to distract one's opponent long enough to then strike. The ability to resist as well as cast such a spell is reflection on the strength of the mind. The weaker the mind." Snape paused, his eyes settling on the trio. "The faster they fall."

Harry clenched his fist.

Allusio.

The counter Claritate.

After a quick introduction, Snape called out pairs before pausing to consider who would go first. His head turned to Harry, and a slight smirk pulled at his lips.

"Mr. Potter." Snape called as he scanned the room for Harry's opponent, "And Mr. Malfoy. Consider this a welcome back of sorts."

The room erupted into whispers. Her heart dropped. Malfoy coughed, sputtering in surprise. At the sound, Snape focused on him for a moment. Again, she got the impression that they were conversing without needing to speak. When Draco didn't get the response he wanted, he huffed and stepped forward with Harry. He'd assumed his bored expression, which she was fast learning was what he used to hide his emotions.

"Both will cast the spell. You will then wait for the other to break through the hallucination." He paused, "Then you may strike. Non-verbal magic only." He added as an afterthought.

Harry looked livid, while Draco remained blank.

Snape gave the signal, and both boys cast their spells. She held her breath. All eyes waited for a sign from the two. When Harry jerked to the side, she knew.

Draco allowed himself a smirk as he watched Harry stumble around like he was avoiding something. The Slytherin's were snickering and even some Gryffindors had half-hidden smirks on their faces.

Draco held his gaze at Harry as though they were alone in the room.

She bit her lip. "Harry needs to snap out of it quick." Ron grumbled. After a few minutes, Harry broke the spell and immediately shot another at Draco.

She shut her eyes, but the impact never came. A murmur went through the crowd. Draco's shield had gone up instantly and the spell slid past him. She glanced at it in awe. Harry hit him with spell after spell, but the shield held.

"What's he doing?" Ron muttered.

"Conserving his strength." Hermione said instantly. The second she said it, she realized it was true. "Harry needs to change his strategy." She said, keeping her eyes on Draco before stealing a glance to Harry. Her heart sank, Harry's face reflected his frustration. His emotions had taken over, while Malfoy was sticking to his plan.

Just as Harry was about to cast another spell, Malfoy dropped his shield. Harry looked dumbfounded, and at that moment, Draco's second spell hit. With a flash of red, Harry flew back. "Harry!" Ron called racing over when Harry didn't stand. "Ron." She caught Draco's eye, "It was Stupefy." She said calming him. She and the Gryffindors circled around Harry. She stole a glance to Malfoy who had turned to shoot a smirk in his house's direction, but again, she caught his gaze. He looked troubled. At this point, Harry had been revived and was rushing to stand on his feet.

Snape stepped between the two. He glanced at Harry before turning to Draco.

"Very good Mr. Malfoy." He said before signaling that class was over. Draco put his wand away, glancing at Harry before he spun on his heel and left the room.

"What happened Harry?" She asked as she took his arm and helped him to stand.

"I don't know, but he shouldn't have been able to get into my head." Harry snapped before storming out of the room.

"Bloody Hell." Ron muttered beside her.

* * *

They turned and followed Harry, who had stopped in front of a portrait with a dumbfounded expression.

"Harry." She called softly.

He sighed. "I'm sorry I snapped."

"S'alright mate." Ron said.

"I just." Harry ran a hand through his hair, "All those lessons, and he still broke through."

"I know Harry." She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head.

"Forget it." He waved his hand in the air, as though he was waving away the incident. He sighed again and turned to face her.

"Have you had a chance to look into it then?" He said changing the subject, "The thing I gave you?"

She nodded slowly. "What on earth am I looking for exactly."

"Dumbledore thinks Voldemort made some."

Her heart stilled.

They'd been walking and had somehow ended up in the first-floor girl's bathroom. "How many?" She said then, suddenly quite sick to her stomach.

He shook his head. "I don't know, but we've been going through some memories."

"How long?" Ron interrupted. They both turned toward him. "How long before we leave?" he asked again, "That is what this is, you telling us we'll have to leave and search for whatever they are."

Harry nodded. "I don't know, but soon."

* * *

When she finally made it back to her room, Draco was sleeping on their couch with a potion vial in front of him. She quietly stepped into the Common Room, but her efforts were futile. The moment that she put her book down on the table, his eyes fluttered open. He groaned as he sat up and rubbed his temples.

He still looked exhausted. She almost wanted to tell him to go back to sleep, but they needed to talk to him. Now before later.

"Shouldn't have gone." he mumbled, still half asleep as he got up to the kitchen. A moment later, she heard the whistle of the kettle. He reappeared with a mug in his hand looking considerably more awake.

"What were you thinking?" She said, when he turned to face her.

"What was I thinking? What was Potter thinking, hurling every spell in our goddamn text at me." he hissed.

"He was trying to break your shield." She watched. His face contorted and his entire body seemed to tremble.

"Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit." he exclaimed, "It was all a fucking test."

"Wha.."

"Snape, the git was testing us. I passed. Potter failed." He was fuming. He pinched the bridge of his nose, steadying his breathing. "He sent a message."

"That you're mentally stronger than Harry," Hermione snapped.

"That Potter can be defeated with two spells, and the second won't be Stupefy." he snapped back. She bit her lip.

"I shouldn't be in that class." he huffed in frustration.

"Then why are you?" She pushed.

"Because Dumbledore wouldn't split DADA. He refused." He blinked, suddenly schooling his sharp features to a blank expression. He'd revealed more than he wanted, and he was going to stop himself from giving her more.

Taking in his expression, she narrowed her eyes. "How did you get so good?"

"The same reason you've been looking for a mark on my forearm for weeks." he bit back.

"I…" she stammered, stepping back; acutely aware of how close they'd been gravitating toward one another. He glanced her over, his eyes darkened to the color of storm clouds.

He smirked. "What, you didn't think I noticed that? You Gryffindor's." he shook his head, "You're not cut out for stealth."

Her cheeks flushed. He was regarding her with pure indifference, but his eyes, they always seemed to give him away. At least to her. She crossed her arms, defiant.

"You're deflecting."

"I'm protecting myself." he retorted, "Not all of us have Dumbledore watching over and spoon feeding us lessons."

"How do you…"

"Honestly, what do he and Potter do all day, discuss the weather?" He ranted before he broke down in a fit of coughing. He stumbled, and she instinctively caught him by the shoulder.

"Stop it." She said, "This isn't getting us anywhere."

He grunted in agreement, pushing himself off her and settling back on the couch. He winced and leaned his head back with his eyes closed. "Soon. So soon." he murmured, "Then we all have to pick sides."

"Haven't you already?"

"They have my mother, Hermione." His entire body went slack at the revelation, and she swore he'd never looked as defeated as he did in that moment. It was hard to say why he was suddenly so keen on telling her all these things, but he was. He trusted her. It warmed her, even if it was only because she already knew his biggest secret.

"I won't leave her, and she won't leave my father."

He was giving her an opportunity. Finally, a chance to talk about the matter that always hung like a dark cloud unspoken and unacknowledged between them.

"Draco, why do you meet with Dumbledore?"

He looked thoughtful.

"Pray that you'll come home again, back from your enemies, since your heart urges you against my will to those swift ships."

She stiffened at the quote. Priam sneaking amongst the Greeks to retrieve his son.

His dead son.

"I'm going to bed." He stood swiftly, and walked to his room.

"Draco." He turned.

"If he captures you, once he sees you, that man's so savage, so unreliable, he'll show no pity."

A second. Two.

"I know."

Then the door closed.

She wasn't sure why, but at that she fell to the couch. Tears filled her eyes, and she cried.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So I just wanted to clear something up about the story. Hermione will always be the 'brightest witch of her age', Draco is not smarter than her. In my mind, their strengths and weaknesses make them effectively equal. It's just that at this point in time, Draco's thrown himself completely into his studies as a distraction and to essentially put of dealing with things he doesn't want too.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

Was it possible to argue and reach an agreement without a single word?

Lately it seemed like she mostly spoke in her silence, as though words were no longer enough to convey anything.

Oddly disconcerting for someone who loved words as much as she did.

She looked at the grounds, blanketed in thin layer of snow that was still falling fast. She buried her hands deeper into her pockets as she leaned forward on the bannister. The air stung her eyes, but softly stroked her cheek. The first snow fall.

Ever since her first winter at Hogwarts, she'd always thought that the school never looked as beautiful as it did when it was decorated in frost. It completed the picture, and the hum of magic seemed to resonate with the change in the seasons.

She shut her eyes, but all she could see were McGonagall's eyes locked on hers, passing judgement over the plans for the Winter Ball.

She'd come to the Astronomy Tower afterwards. She'd felt so trapped in the mundane routine they'd taken to carrying out.

 _"Your heart's not in it." He'd told her after the meeting, "She can see that."_

She wanted to retort, defend herself or take aim at his own lack of enthusiasm, but when she'd met his gaze, she'd faltered. They hadn't seen each other properly since he'd recovered. His schedule was still vastly different than hers, and though he hadn't been obvious in it, he had avoided her. Though, with him in front of her, she wondered if recovered was the correct term. Sickly pale, and dark patches that matched his eyes. He wasn't looking for a fight, and she didn't want to have one.

She huffed, watching her breath cloud in front of her.

Three more attacks, two had been coupled with a floating Morsrmorde overhead. It was hard to say who was more anxious after, Harry or Draco.

Draco's was a silent torment. Seers and Seer blood was equated with depression in practically every book she'd come across, and she'd gone through many. His light was on more times than off at night, and his marks continued to be bloody brilliant. He'd scored higher on two more tests and they'd tied on two more. Though on their last Potions exam, he'd done so poorly, it made her think he'd done it on purpose. Slughorn seemed to agree, because after returning their exams he'd even asked if Draco would repeat it right then and there.

He'd refused.

Harry was whirlwinds. Loud then silent. He'd kept busy by coming up with a list of possible horcruxs, and she'd spent hours going over each and every one. They were waiting, waiting for something to push them over the edge and send them tumbling into their task. Dumbledore was stalling. Voldemort was stalling. The whole world seemed to be stalling, and he was going mad with anxiety.

She sighed. She was going mad by thinking about all of it. She cocked her head at the sound of light footsteps.

"Hello Hermione." She turned. Luna leant on the bannister beside her.

"Hello Luna."

Her blond head seemed almost white against the falling flakes. She blinked and the image of a different white blond head filled her vision. Ice. All ice and cracked edges, but beautiful. Incredibly so.

"I read a muggle book the other day, about a man who loved a woman."

"Oh." She said. She'd given up trying to reason why Luna said anything. She didn't have the energy to overanalyze or psychoanalyze anything anymore.

"He was pretty rubbish at it."

She laughed and Luna cracked a triumphant smile.

"He did things, and she knew what he meant to say because of them."

She looked at Luna, whose gaze was fixed at something in the distance. After a moment, Luna's eyes met hers.

"I suppose it's the same for the things we don't say and the things we can't do. Somehow we still know what it all means."

But how, she wanted to ask. How do we know anything without some sort of proof? Concrete fact that can be grasped. She started to form the sentences when Luna spoke again.

"Have you made anymore tea?"

She shook her head. "No." It surprised her how mournful her voice sounded.

Luna cocked her head. "Maybe you should make some with a spoon of sleeping draught."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Luna!"

She gave her a small smile. "He looks like he could use it."

Luna disappeared after that, her quiet footsteps echoing for a minute before disappearing too.

* * *

She waited a moment before leaving herself. The rest of the castle was warm, and she shed her gloves, letting her hands de-frost. She continued moving, and it wasn't until she was nearly there that she realized where she was going. The Slytherin dungeons.

She paused, pretty sure she understood why exactly her subconscious had pushed her in this direction. Perhaps, if she couldn't reach out directly to him, she could go to those who knew him best. Though, in the back of her mind, she realized no one could really get Draco Malfoy to do anything unless he wanted too.

She looked around unsure, because at this point she was lost. She'd never actually been inside the Slytherin dormitories and while she'd been given all the Common Room passwords as Head Girl, she had no idea where the exact entrance even was. A 4th year walked by, and she called out to stop them.

"Get me Blaise Zabini." She said before dismissing him. She felt guilty at the pure terror the 4th year had shown as he scurried off to the side. Using her Head Girl status to take advantage of the younger students, it just seemed like something….

"What are you doing here Granger?"

Blaise lent against one of the walls, hanging his head to look down on her. Judgement. Judgement was what Slytherins seemed to carry in their gaze. She supposed that's how they plotted and planned their next moves; based on whatever they could discern in your gaze.

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"I don't know." She finally admitted.

He crossed his arms, and she self-consciously patted down her curls.

"Does he ever mention what they're about?"

She bit her lip. She hadn't meant to ask, but it had just come out.

He sighed, walking closer to her. He stopped a foot before her and met her gaze. "No, but sometimes things slip out."

She pulled at the edges of her skirt. Blaise's face molded into a mix of curiosity and concern. Curiosity for her, concern for his friend. Their friend. It was pointless in denying that their odd tumultuous interactions were nothing. It was a friendship, in the loosest sense of the word.

"Winter greets us with smoke." She said, "It's winter now, and something's coming."

Blaise said nothing.

"They've gotten stronger." She pushed, "I know they have. When he doesn't sleep…"

Blaise had edged closer, hanging onto every word.

She faltered.

"He hasn't slept." She finally said.

Blaise nodded. "I know. He's brewed enough wit-sharpening potion to give everyone two doses for a month."

He opened his mouth to say more, when he grimaced and bent over his arm. She caught sight of a ring.

The Protean Charm.

"It's him."

He turned to her.

"It is, isn't it?"

He nodded. "Pain Potion." He muttered, "Merlin, he must be Pansy's best customer."

She bit her lip as he led her down deeper, before stopping at a particular stone on the wall. "You'll understand if I don't invite you in."

She cocked her head, "What…"

"I'm getting the pain potion, and you can take it to Draco."

He was gone not longer than two minutes, which was long enough for her to invent a thousand scenarios for Draco's visions and for why Pansy Parkinson always had pain potions lying around.

When he emerged, he held out two vials for her to take.

"Granger." He called out to her right before she turned to leave.

"Go easy on him. There's only so much he can do."

She was struck by the familiarity of the statement that she only nodded blankly to Blaise before he disappeared back to the Slytherin dorms.

The potions seemed to grow heavy in her hands. "Merlin." She muttered before walking to her own dorm.

* * *

Their Common Room was empty, and his door was shut. She paused listening for any sign of movement. If he was sleeping, she didn't want to wake him. She put the potions on the coffee table in the Common Room and scribbled a quick note before going into her own room.

She paused at her bookcase before pulling out a single book, unable to suppress the groan that escaped her.

 _Divination_

She found the chapter she wanted and proceeded to read.

* * *

Her eyes flickered open and a glance at the clock confirmed that she'd woken in the early hours of the new day. 4 am. She pushed the text off her stomach and rolled her shoulders as she sat up. A light shone from beneath her door.

He was awake.

She chewed her lip, and stood. Her hands went to her hair, pulling it all up into a messy bun at the top of her head.

Her hand lingered at the knob. _Breathe Hermione._ It eased open beneath her touch and she walked softly toward the Common Room. The couch had come into view, when Draco's voice echoed out.

"Granger if you're coming in, come in."

She huffed and stepped into the lighted room. He turned and shot her a half smile. "I was trying to be quiet." She said.

"Trying and failing." He grinned.

"Ass." She muttered taking a seat on the couch.

He laughed lightly, putting a half empty vial on the table in front of them.

She smiled at the sight. He had that way about him. A smile, one of his genuine ones, had the power to draw you into the moment, while the rest of the world fell away.

"I suppose I have to thank you for this." He waved at the two vials on the table.

She shook her head, ignoring the way his eyes focused on her, and cleared her throat.

"I've been meaning to ask. Why does Pansy have so much Pain Potion?"

He shook his head with a grin still on his face. "It started with her brewing some in case any of us was hurt due to." he paused, "questionable circumstances and wanted to avoid the infirmary. She did it for favors, which in Slytherin, are quite valuable."

Her brow rose.

"Course Pansy's always had a soft spot for me."

She bit her lip, slightly bothered by the way he spoke so casually about the other girl.

"And she still does it, for favors?"

He shrugged. "Depends on who's asking. For the most part, no. Pansy and I took over Slytherin together, and we…" He furrowed his brows and glanced down at the vials on the table, "We look after our own. No one else is."

He grew solemn at that and continued to stare intently at the vials in front of him. He sighed after a while and rubbed his temples. She took the opportunity to study him. With his head bent forward and the light low, it looked like a crown had formed around his head. He looked almost ethereal.

"You can't feel that ostracized."

He gave her a look.

"If so many of you didn't live up to your house stereotype, then maybe it wouldn't be that way." She argued.

He shook his head. "It wouldn't matter. Not with the dark cloud that hangs over Slytherin." He winced, pinching the bridge of his nose. She watched him, but he made no move to take the rest of the pain potion.

"I think I'm going to make some tea." She said before going to the kitchen. She flicked her wand at the kettle, and the stove came to life beneath it. She hummed slightly as she reached for the cinnamon on instinct and added a spoon. At the cabinet, she paused looking at the potion vials she had on the shelf above the spices.

 _A spoon of sleeping draught._

She turned quickly, shutting the cabinet. She wasn't going to drug him. Merlin. When she returned, two cups in hand. His head was leaned back and his eyes shut.

"They look like they're worse."

He opened his eyes and took the cup without a word.

"Maybe you should take the rest of the pain potion."

He grunted in response. "It counteracts the wit-sharpening potion. If I take the whole thing, I may not wake up for a week." He eyed her then.

"You don't have to tell me about them." His gaze stayed fixed on her. She sighed and put her cup down.

"It doesn't mean that I don't think you should. It might help to tell someone, so you're not so alone with it."

He sighed taking another sip of his cup. She shook her head taking her cup back into her hand. They were quiet for a moment, but she caught him grimace again.

"Draco."

He murmured something unintelligible.

"If you won't take the rest of the pain potion, I think you should at least take a Sleeping Draught."

His eyes opened and slowly traveled to hers. They were glazed over, a sign that only part of him was here. "I don't think…"

"Not the whole thing. Maybe a spoon or so." She pursed her lips, "You need to sleep Draco. People are starting to notice."

He nodded, absently running his shaky fingers through his fringe. Innocent gestures, but her gut seemed to do flips at the sight. "I know I do." He murmured. She took that as his agreement and went to the kitchen. He hadn't moved by the time she returned with the draught in hand. When she sat, he cocked his head and a thin smile formed at his lips.

"You had a sleeping draught?" his expression bemused.

"I don't suggest things I can't accomplish." He reached over and twisted the vial in his hand. He examined it, gaze hard. He sighed after a moment and took a single sip before closing the cap and handing it back to her.

He swayed slightly and motioned for her to help him. She immediately put her arm under his shoulder, wrapping it around his frame. They walked slowly like that until he sat on the edge of his bed, looking more relaxed than she'd ever seen him.

"Wait." He said when she moved away from the bed.

"Stay until I fall asleep."

She smiled slightly and sat on the edge and motioned for him to lie down. Begrudgingly, he stretched out. "Talk to me." He murmured.

"About what?"

"Anything." He furrowed his brows, "Who are you taking to the ball?"

She snorted. He grinned up to her as he turned to his side to regard her. "You already know that I don't have my heart in this so called ball."

He shrugged his free shoulder. "It's to keep up appearances. You still didn't answer."

She smiled. Always perceptive. "No one. You?"

He sighed burying the side of his face into the pillow. "No one." She frowned at that. She'd heard more rumors between the girls, both in her house and others. He had no shortage of possible dates to consider.

His eyes held a familiar look of mischief in them as he watched her.

"I could have asked some girl, but they always seem to get the wrong idea when I do."

Ah. Ever the eligible Slytherin Prince.

 _Mothers push their daughters in his direction hoping he'll take just a second glance._

She winced at the memory.

"I mean I'd have asked Pansy, but Millicent beat me to it."

Hermione whipped her head around.

"Millicent?"

Draco laughed, but nodded.

"I didn't think Pansy…"

"She isn't, but Pansy does what she wants." He chewed his lip, "It started out as rebellion and curiosity. Millie and she have been on and off. It's not going to lead anywhere, though I'm sure Millicent would want it to." Draco said thoughtfully.

She shook her head in disbelief. She'd thought she knew all these Slytherins, but it seemed she didn't know her classmates as well as she should.

"I guess I always thought that you and Pansy." She stumbled, unsure what to call the presumed relationship between the two.

He sighed, propping his head up on his hand. He was blinking slowly, as the potion began to take effect. "Pansy's been in love with me since we were kids." He bit his lip, "But she knows. She knows we'll never be…" he trailed off.

His lids dropped for a moment, before they fluttered open again. He was resisting the potion, probably nervous that the draught would do nothing to help with the nightmares.

"I thought Weasel would have asked you." He murmured.

She ignored the distasteful nickname he had for Ron.

"No. Ron and I." She paused, unsure why she was even discussing this with him, "We don't like each other like that anymore."

"More like you never did." He muttered, "We should go together."

She blinked, but he peaked beneath a shut blonde lash. "I mean the two Heads going together, inter-house unity, all that shit."

"Very Eloquent."

"I'm half asleep, eloquence isn't at the forefront of my mind." He retorted, both eyes now on her. Her hand went to the base of her neck, fingers curling through the fallen strands of her hair.

"Would you really go with someone." She bit her lip, "someone like me."

He sighed.

"It saves me from asking anyone else, and." His voice dropped off. He lifted his head off his propped elbow. "Even before. When I called you that… that word… I still thought." He murmured something as his head went to the pillow. "I still thought you were pretty."

Her heart stilled. Breathing seemed to be trivial. Draco murmured something unintelligible and bunched the sheets in his clenched fist. He was nearly asleep and his lips had loosened. There was no way he'd have admitted that to her otherwise.

"What are the visions about Draco?"

She needed to take advantage of this. She had to know.

His brows furrowed, but his lids stayed shut. "I used to be able to tell, but these…"

"What does it look like Draco?" she pushed, edging closer.

His lips stretched into a thin line. She thought he must have drifted to sleep, but then he answered.

"Like the world's on fire."

He slumped inward, as if to disappear within the sheets. His jaw clenched, the air of relaxation completely null. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright." She whispered.

He turned in toward her arm, relaxing slightly.

"So will you come with me?" he said, his voice sounding farther and farther away.

"To the dance?" he added as an afterthought.

She smiled slightly, and rubbed his shoulder soothingly. "Ask me when you're awake Draco." She murmured near his ear. He huffed, turning his face into the pillow. She waited then, watching as his chest settled into an easy rise and fall.

When she was certain the potion had taken it's hold, she moved as quietly as she could to the doorway. She turned back, watching as he pulled the pillow closer to him. He seemed so young and unguarded. The pressure he seemed to feel at every hour and every day gone. Always watched. Always analyzed. She wondered how anyone could live like that. Caged.

She sighed and eased the door closed.

He'd asked her to the dance. Drugged and half-asleep, but he'd still asked her.

 _He thought she was pretty._

Gods. She hugged her arms around herself. This was Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Pureblood Supremacist Slytherin Prince.

But,

This was also the Draco Malfoy who snuck into Muggle London. The Draco Malfoy who made friends with a muggle woman. The Draco Malfoy who read books and quoted Homer and Virgil.

She rubbed her eyes, suddenly exhausted.

The Draco Malfoy who thought she was pretty, even before he'd changed.

She collapsed on her bed.

 _He doesn't want to be like the rest of them._

It was her last coherent thought before she finally succumbed to slumber.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

When her eyes fluttered open, the first thought she had was that there was coffee brewing. She groaned lifting her head up and walking slowly toward the smell. Draco was leaning over the counter with a mug in his hand flipping through a textbook.

He didn't turn to her, but instead pointed toward a second mug. She took a sip before taking a breath. "Morning."

She watched him as he closed his book and moved so that his back was leaning on the counter.

"Good Morning."

She continued staring at him. After a moment, he raised a brow. "Go on Granger." He said taking a slow slip, "It's killing you, not asking."

"Do you re…."

"Will you go to the ball with me?" he interrupted.

She blinked and watched as a smirk formed on his face. She crossed her arms, her hip jutted to the side.  
"Really?"

He laughed, clutching his side. His laughter nearly forced her to join, but she folded her arms willing herself to focus on the fact that he was laughing at her and not with her.

She marched over, and smacked him on his arm. He shrugged, unaffected by her anger. "At least it wasn't my face again."

"And you deserved it." She jut her nose in the air, "Both times."

He raised a brow. "I did. Honestly, I probably deserve worse." He murmured, more to himself than her. She was caught up watching him while his gaze seemed to drift to the recesses of his mind that no one else seemed to reach in to. He blinked, after a moment, before looking back to her with a thin smile on his face.

She returned the gesture before taking her mug. He sighed cradling his own mug, once more lost in his thoughts. She looked over his face for any sign into what he was thinking. As always, she found nothing. She was somewhat pleased to see that the dark spots beneath his eyes had faded slightly. The draught must have worked to keep off the visions.

"Can't believe you remember that." She bit her lip, finally breaking the silence.

He shrugged, his eyes darting between her and the side of the room. She frowned at the action, but shrugged it off.

"One of the few things I clearly remember from last night." He said.

She nodded.

After a moment, he cleared his throat.

"Granger."

"Mhmm."

She took another sip from her mug.

"You're late."

She snapped her head to the clock.

"Godric." She screeched running toward her room, charming hair into something presentable and tossing on clothes. When she returned to the kitchen, Draco tossed her an apple, but made no move to leave.

"Are you not coming?"

He'd opened the same textbook, and was flipping through it with a bored expression. "My charm's class was over two hours ago, and I'm three weeks ahead in the reading."

She shook her head and darted out of the room, not missing the way his laughter drifted after her. _Days with no sleep surely gave him all the time in the world._ She grumbled racing down the halls, cursing his name.

* * *

She yanked open the door to the Charm's class and immediately regretted the action. Several heads turned and settled their eyes on her. She fumbled, her feet permanently nailed to the ground. Merlin, she should have just…

"Come in Ms. Granger." Flitwick called impatiently.

She blinked, regaining her senses. "Professor, I…"

"Yes. Yes. I already know why you are late. Please take your seat." He waved to her usual chair. She bit her tongue. How could he… Draco.

Parvati scooted down and let her pass as she fell into the chair between her and Lavender. She felt Ron's eyes on the back of her head, but she didn't turn. Her hand went to the apple in her robe pocket, a small smile tugged at her lips. Surprises. Always surprises with him.

Charms seemed to end quickly, and then it was Arithmancy. It had all seemed to settle. Her nerves. The curious glances. Normal. Steady.

Lavender shot her another curious glance before returning her eyes to her parchment. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair and undoing any knots. The door opened, and she paid it no mind until a murmur went through the classroom. Her eyes drifted. A flash of white blond. Draco shot her a sheepish grin before turning to Professor Vector.

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe you're 3 hours late and in the wrong class." She said, her brow raised as she regarded him.

He smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"My apologies." He paused, "I was a bit caught up." His eyes caught hers for a moment before returning their gaze to the Professor. Her cheeks burned. Merlin, what was he doing here?

He cleared his throat. "My excuse." He held up a folded note in one hand, "The homework due this morning." His other hand came up with a roll of parchment. Professor Vector took them and glanced over the note before giving him a slight nod.

"Then I'll be off." He said cheekily, his eyes meeting hers again. "No doubt to interrupt another professor's class." Professor Vector muttered. He smirked and inclined his head, his eyes lit with mischief before he turned and disappeared back through the door.

She had to give it to him. He put on a show. No one would have ever guessed he'd spent the last two weeks awake and only slept just last night for a meager 5 hours.

Lavender leaned closer to her.

"Well Hermione, care to comment?"

She shot the other girl a look before taking her quill back into her hand. Lavender giggled before she leaned in even closer to her ear.

"You never did say, how is sharing a shower with Malfoy?"

Her grip tightened around her quill, and still she stayed silent.

Lavender shook her head, with a slight tilt of her head. "Shame. I hear the best shags are in Slytherin."

"Merlin Lav, we're in class." She hissed, unable to contain herself.

Lavender chuckled before being silenced by a look from Professor Vector. She scooted away from the other girl, glaring at her before returning to her quill and parchment. The way the day had gone, she almost wished she hadn't come to class altogether. She turned her head to listen to Professor Vector, but her mind drifted to the silver that had settled on her moments before. She sighed. Almost.

* * *

In retrospect, it was probably a mistake to go to the Great Hall for dinner. Her head was pounding from a headache, and she wanted nothing more than to go back to her room and sleep. All the thoughts rushing around in her head, all the questions she hadn't asked but needed answers too; it really was driving her mad.

He didn't come. Though she didn't expect him too.

He'd asked her again to the ball, and even though she hadn't stated her answer, she knew. It was a yes, if only to satisfy her curiosity about what he would do.

Ginny took a seat beside her. She smiled to her and said her greeting before turning back to her plate. Going to the ball with Draco Malfoy. She was almost certain Ron might kill her… or Malfoy. Maybe both.

"Hermione." Ginny said shaking her arm.

"Hmm." She said turning toward the redhead.

"I said." Ginny huffed, "If you thought it would be selfish of me to say I was actually excited for the ball?"

Hermione bit her lip and slowly shook her head. "The war hasn't started yet Gin, we should enjoy what time we have." Her voice dropped. Was that what this stalemate was? An opportunity to enjoy things before the inevitable came. She shivered instinctively.

 _Fate is inexorable._

"Do you have a date?" Hermione asked, pushing things like fate and inevitability out of her mind.

Ginny blushed, focusing her eyes on her cup. "Harry asked me."

Hermione grinned. "That's great Ginny."

"I'm glad he finally did. I think he doesn't want to waste whatever time is still left."

Ginny bit her lip, twirling a strand of red hair between her fingers. "What about you Hermione? Going with anyone?"

She felt her cheeks flush. Ginny's eyes widened before she let out a squeal. "Oh you are. Who?" She leaned in closer, "Is it Cormac? I saw the way he was looking at you in the hall."

Hermione's blush deepened.

"No…No, it's not Cormac." She stammered.

Ginny's brow rose. Before the girl could venture anymore guesses, Hermione leaned in. "Ginny, you can't tell anyone if I tell you."

Ginny hesitated before giving a slight nod. "Ok, but not here." She sighed, "Your dorm." Ginny grabbed her hand then and whisked her out of the hall.

Before she could blink, she was seated on Ginny's bed with a silencing charm cast around the room. Ginny sat beside her, waiting. Oh gods. How to say this?

"It's Draco Malfoy." She said quickly. Fast, like ripping off a band aid.

Ginny blinked. "You're joking."

When Hermione shook her head, her blue eyes widened.

"But…But he's a prat." She stammered.

"Partly, but not completely." She agreed. She sighed, feeling her headache worsening. After a moment, she sighed again and began to speak. She had to tell someone else. Luna, as much as it was nice to confide in her, was not one of her closest friends. Another person's perspective, someone who could reaffirm what she'd concluded, would help her… make sense of Draco.

So, she told Ginny. She wasn't as thorough as she'd been with Luna. She hated that, but she needed Ginny to understand why she'd even accepted Draco before she could begin with everything else. She talked and talked. Ginny interrupted every so often, a questions or two, but she said nothing otherwise. Hermione was grateful for that.

Certain parts were hard to explain without Ginny knowing about Draco's visions, but she couldn't tell her. It wasn't her secret to tell, no matter how much she wanted to.

Other things came out instead. His trip to Muggle London. His admittance to change. She even told her about what he'd said about her magic.

 _What you have is a gift._

She'd cried then, couldn't even contain it. He'd known, so easily. Every time he looked at her, he saw everything, and it no longer disgusted him or sparked hate in his eyes. He understood and accepted it all. It was hardly fair, when all she saw in him were storm clouds and secrets. So so many secrets.

Ginny rubbed her hand in circles along her back and let her bury her face in her neck until the tears subsided.

"Blood Hell." Ginny murmured, when she'd finally pulled away and dried her tears.

"He's still Draco Malfoy. He's still an entitled git, but" She said wrapping her arms around her middle, "but he's so different all the same. I feel like I'm the only one who knows and…"

"And he trusts you with that." Ginny said thoughtfully.

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I can't imagine what Harry and Ron will think." Ginny murmured before shaking her head, "But they'll come around 'Mione. I think." She took a breath. "I think it might be nice, going with Malfoy."

Hermione blinked. "Really?"

"Well, with everything you've told me, and he has been calmer this year. He's certainly not making the same kind of trouble he used to. I mean I saw him help a lost first year Hufflepuff a month ago. Something he never would have done before…" she trailed off, a knowing smile suddenly spread across her face as she studied Hermione. "Yes. I think it would be nice. I mean all those balls he's been going to all his life, I'm sure he knows a thing or two about dancing and having fun at them."

A half smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

"I suppose so."

Ginny grinned. "Do you know what you're going to wear?"

She frowned. She hadn't even gotten that far. It had been hard enough contemplating it all last night, and then this morning….

"No." She finally said. Ginny clapped her hands together. "Great. I bought two dresses the last time I was in Hogsmeade and one of them would look…"

She quickly climbed off the bed and toward her trunk. Hermione laughed at the sight. She'd known Ginny would be the easiest and most accepting, but Ron and Harry would be another matter. She bit her lip. A worry for another day. She turned back to Ginny and allowed another smile.

It would be nice.

The excitement buzzed in her stomach. A flash of silver gray clouded her mind, and she sighed.

Only Draco Malfoy could inspire such different sentiments with the simple thought of him.


	11. Chapter 11

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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

She remembered the last time she'd been this nervous. The Yule ball, in the midst of the tournament. She'd been so nervous to even walk down the steps. Her hands went instinctively to flatten her dress as she took one last gaze in the mirror.

Ginny had done a number on her hair. She'd kept the curls, but now they lay tame flowing from one side of her neck in cascades. She swallowed roughly.

 _"Are you sure you don't want us to leave together?"_ He'd been confused at her request, but he'd humored her and left a good hour ago. No doubt huddled in some corner in Slytherin, nursing another headache.

The other pain potion from Pansy was still sitting, untouched, in his room. He kept insisting he didn't need it, but she knew that wasn't the case. Not when she came back to the dorm to find him with the lights all off, hands rubbing circles at his temples. He was becoming reliant, and the thought didn't seem to sit well with him. He took to distractions, books mostly, to help him forget about the constant pounding in his head.

It was one failed attempt after another to persuade him to take it before the dance, but again, he refused. They numbed his senses, and he wanted to be awake and alert.

She sighed and turned from the mirror.

She was beginning to see why he thought of his gift more like a curse.

* * *

They had agreed to meet at the steps to the hall and then slip in unnoticed through a side entrance. She walked slowly, her stomach still tangled in knots. He was at the end of the steps near the wall, with his back turned to her. If it weren't for the way he straightened at the sound of her heels, she'd have thought he didn't even know she was there. He didn't turn, though.

She frowned, but continued, slower down each step.

 _Had he changed his mind?_

"Wait." He called back.

She stopped, frozen on the third to last step. He turned slowly.

It would be an outright lie to say that Draco Malfoy wasn't a smart dresser. His entire wardrobe was filled with expensive suits and dark shirts. The dress robes he was currently wearing were no exception; cut slightly different with just the right angles to complement his lean figure. She let her gaze move up and settle on his eyes, surprised when she found he'd done the same. And those grey eyes, those storm clouds were something she could never recall them ever being; clear.

He stepped, each movement his own personal dance, toward her. Her hand found his as he leaned in close. "Breathtaking." He whispered before pulling away and leading her down the last few steps.

"Not bad yourself." She said.

He smirked. "Why Granger, I believe you just gave me a compliment."

He was keeping the mood light. She was grateful for that.

"Keep moving ferret." She teased as she looped her arm in his. He smirked again before drawing them to the side and through a small door.

The party seemed to have gotten underway. Chatter echoed all around the hall. She had to admit that the sight was beautiful. The decorations were flawlessly spread from the tables to the ceiling that was spelled to look like it was snowing.

She turned and found Draco to be looking towards the dance floor with genuine interest. Her eyes followed his gaze, and she saw Pansy and Millicent both dancing. The corner of his lip was turned up in a half smile. "Good on Pans." He murmured.

She was about to speak when she heard her name being called from behind. She turned dropping Draco's arm to find Lavender walking toward her. "Oh Hermione you look lovely." She said once she'd gotten closer. Her eyes glued to the dress. "Thank you Lavender, and you do too." Lavender grinned, completely aware of the fact.

Draco cleared his throat, and Lavender turned her head. "Oh. Malfoy. I didn't see you there."

He let out a puff of breath that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, but made no move to acknowledge her otherwise. Lavender's eyes stayed on Malfoy. "So did you two come together?"

Draco glanced at her. He was giving her the choice of what to say. She bit her lip before nodding slowly. "We did. You know, the two Heads coming together; it seemed right."

Lavender looked disappointed for a moment. "Oh, well I hope you both have a good night." She said to her before turning to Malfoy, "You wouldn't happen to know where Blaise is?"

He glanced down at her, with a brow raised. How he managed to look completely bored at the girl's question, she'd never know.

"He came with Daphne."

Lavender met his gaze for a moment, before huffing and leaving them.

"About as subtle as a hippogriff that one." He muttered when she'd left. Hermione chuckled. "I suppose she has to get her gossip from somewhere."

Malfoy blinked before laughing. "An insult, I'm impressed Granger."

She laughed, but caught him grimace after a moment. She slipped her arm back through his and leaned in. "I told you to take the pain potion." He shook his head. His lids shut for a moment, and when it seemed to pass, he opened them again. "Would you like to dance?" he asked suddenly. She frowned, but found that he'd dragged them onto the floor without waiting for her response.

His hands immediately went into the position he'd no doubt been drilled to learn, and soon they were swaying slowly to the music. His jawline was hard, and his posture stiff.

He was trying to distract himself.

She pulled him closer to her, pleased when his eyes widened in shock.

"If you need a distraction, at least do it properly." She chided him. She had a second to worry about the sudden mischief that had sparked in his gray eyes, before she was sent spinning in one direction and back.

When her vision focused again, she was caught between his arms as he smirked down at her. "Better?" he asked innocently.

"Ass." She muttered.

He laughed, but settled back into a normal step. The song soon ended, and he pulled away from her. She mourned the loss of contact. He'd felt so warm.

He was looking above her head. "I'm getting a drink." He said before gesturing to her in the direction he'd been looking.

Ron and Harry were both staring at her like she'd somehow turned into an alien object. Ginny, though, only a step away, was absolutely beaming.

She walked carefully toward the three, prepared for a screaming match to ensue; however, none came. They were in shock.

"Hermione." Harry finally began, "Were you dancing with Malfoy?"

She nodded slowly.

"Why?" Ron finally blurted out.

"Because I came with him Ron." She said stealing a glance to Ginny. The red head bit her lip in attempt to keep from laughing, while shaking her head.

"But it's Malfoy." Ron said. Harry nodded quickly.

She took a breath. "Yes it is, but he's also the other Head. We both thought it would be a nice show of unity if we both came together."

"Malfoy thought…" Harry began.

She quickly cut him off. "Yes. He was the one who suggested it."

"But it's Malfoy." Ron said, seemingly desperate.

"I know." Her voice lowered, "and trust me when I say that I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't know for sure that he was." She paused. "Different."

Harry looked like he wanted to protest, so she quickly continued. "Trust in me and my judgement. I know what I'm doing."

Harry's gaze softened. "Of course, I trust you Hermione." He ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't trust Malfoy."

Her face fell. Seeing her expression, he smiled and put his arms at her shoulders. "But I do trust your judgement. I've had to rely on it more times than I can count, so if you're sure then..."

"Thank you Harry." She hugged him tightly. He grinned sheepishly before turning to Ginny and asking her to dance.

"And you're alright and sure that he's different Mione?" Ron pushed after Harry had left. She nodded, spotting Draco's light head. He was standing beside Theo Nott with a deep scowl on his face. A moment later, it broke into a smile as Theo continued to speak.

"In the ways that matter." She said before walking toward him. He'd seen her start moving toward him, and met her half way.

"All is well between the Golden Trio?" he said. She rolled her eyes before curling a loose strand of her hair between her fingertips. "More peaceful than expected." She bit her lip, noticing a few more stray eyes wonder their way.

"Although, I'm not sure I can take any other confrontations tonight." She added.

He nodded, and she didn't miss the way he winced again before turning his gaze back toward her. "Let's step out then."

She caught Lavender and Parvati staring at them and shook her head. "I think that might make it worse."

He cocked his head and after a moment he stalked off toward a corner of the room. She rolled her eyes, quickly catching up to him. "Where are we..."

Wordlessly, he pulled her arm and turned her toward a wall. "Draco." She tried again. "Just walk." He said, gesturing to the wall. She turned and found that no one was paying them any attention in this corner of the room. "Through a wall." She deadpanned.

"You're a witch. This can't be the most impossible thing you've ever done." He said before moving in front of her and quickly disappearing through the wall. Her eyes widened, and a grin slowly spread across her face. Quickly, she pulled her skirt up slightly and walked in after him.

It was darker, compared to the hall outside that was lit with warmth and filled with the chatter of students. There was a desk near the corner and the entire room was lined with bookshelves. She smiled at the sight. She looked behind her and gasped when she realized she could see directly back into the Hall. The figures continued moving about, all oblivious to the room that lay just a wall away.

"Amazing isn't it." Draco said coming up behind her.

She nodded, enjoying the heat of his body near her. The room, while lovely, was dreadfully cold. He seemed to notice because in a second his jacket was off and around her shoulders. It was a like a reflex. He hardly seemed to think much about it at all. More evidence of the manners that had been instilled in him.

She bit her lip and asked, "How did you find it?"

"By accident." He grinned, "Goyle and I stumbled up on it when we came in late to dinner during 4th year. Then we all got together spelled the room so that only one of us could ever find it."

"Sneaky Slytherin."

His grin widened.

Her eyes drifted to the books. He motioned for her to explore as he started on the opposite side. She let her fingers glide over the spines of the books. Hundreds and she hadn't read so many of them. She heard him sniff behind her. She frowned before pulling out an interesting history text.

Another sniffle came, and she clutched the book closer before turning back to him. He caught her gaze, looking up from where he'd been browsing. "What?"

"You're not getting sick again are you?"

He frowned before the realization dawned on him. A thin smirk formed. "Why? Worried about me Granger?"

"Of course." She said softly. She was confused. If he was getting sick, why would he joke about it, considering the last time he'd been sick it had been something as extreme as pneumonia?

The smirk faded. Some unidentifiable emotion passed over his sharp features, and his gaze softened.

"No. I'm fine." He said. She shot him a look. "I'm fine." He repeated before crinkling his nose, "Everything's just gathered a lot more dust since the last time I've been here. It doesn't normally bother me _this_ much, but that, and the fact that it's bloody cold..." He reached into his pocket and pulled his wand.

She nodded, feeling the room warm with his charm. She watched him, a finger under his nose before he unconsciously rubbed it and continued scanning the shelves.

Course it would bother him, his immune system was probably shot to hell. No sleep. Under constant stress. Anxious beyond belief. It was a miracle he hadn't died from the pneumonia last month.

She stole another glance at him. She wondered if she brewed an immune strengthening potion, if he would take it. Offering him muggle vitamins was out of the question. He'd reject them on principle.

She blinked replacing the book in her hands back on the shelf before continuing down the aisles.

She could probably slip it in his tea… She stopped. Merlin, when had she started thinking like Luna?

 _Probably around the time she started worrying about his wellbeing._

She smiled to herself, deciding to look up a potion recipe when they went back to the room. She pulled his jacket tighter around herself.

"We've been in here a while." He said stopping by the wall looking out back at the ball.

"We should probably go back." She murmured coming to stand beside him. He sniffed again.

"Probably spark even more chatter when we walk out." He glanced at her with a mischievous smile, "Though coming out impeccably dress will probably silence them."

She snorted.

"Please. You always come out impeccably…." She trailed off with her cheeks flaming. He lifted a brow, a curious expression on his face. "You've seen me come out." He paused, biting back laughter, "impeccably dressed?"

"I…" She stammered, "Once. After a Quidditch game. I was going to find Harry in the locker rooms, and then…Gods. You, then Astoria, who looked like she'd sat through a hurricane."

He laughed. In fact, he laughed so hard that he was soon gasping for breath. She smacked his arm. He quieted at that, but the smile never left his face. It was nice to see it. Her own lips stretched at the sight.

She glanced out to the ball waiting for an opportunity to sneak back out. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Draco's eyes glaze over. After a moment, he shook his head, wincing.

"You're taking the pain potion when we get back." She mumbled, "Even if I have to force it down your throat."

He said nothing before pulling her through the wall. "So bossy Granger." He said softly. She shot him a look, grumbling as they walked through the Hall. She shrugged off his jacket, but he waved his hand for her to keep it.

He stopped, swaying slightly as he grew unfocused. "Draco?"

That's when the ceiling exploded.


	12. Chapter 12

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Disclaimer = I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

It was snowing glass.

Her only coherent thought, and it made no sense. Her eyes fluttered open as she turned her head to survey the damage. Glass was decorating all the floor and tables. The force of the explosion had knocked most of the furniture to the sides, and people were only just struggling to get up.

A gasp sounded from behind her.

"Look up!"

She craned her head, and felt the contents of her stomach slowly rise to her throat. There above them, where the ceiling had been, was a floating Dark Mark. She struggled to her feet, but her foot caught on fabric.

Draco's jacket.

Merlin.

"Draco." She called out before catching sight of light blonde hair. His head was pressed against an overthrown table. His eyes were shut, but he was muttering. She gathered her dress in her hands before kneeling down to him. "Draco." She shook him.

He opened his eyes, and jolted upright. Immediately, his hand went to his head. "Hey. Slow down." She said helping him stand, "You ok?"

He nodded before taking her in. Seeing only scratches from the glass, he relaxed. She leaned in.

"Draco, tell me you didn't see this."

He looked up and paled at the sight. His eyes widened when he met her gaze. The implication of the question clear in her tone. "Hermione, I can't see my own fate." He whispered, "No seer can."

She froze. Of course she knew that. All those books, and she couldn't even remember the key facts. He was swaying again, and she didn't hesitate to thread her arm around his waist.

"How hard did you hit that table?"

"I was definitely timing it right before I blacked out." He muttered, still trying to regain some semblance of balance.

"I think you have a concussion." She said as they finally stood still. He seemed ready to say something when Ron and Harry appeared before them.

"Hermione you ok?" Ron said scanning her over. She nodded. "Just cuts." Draco moved to stand on his own. She watched him wearily, but when he stood without immediately falling over, she turned back to Harry.

"What happened?"

Harry shook his head. Conflict was raging in his green eyes, but ultimately he was just as unsure and worried as she was.

There had been an attack on Hogwarts.

There had been an attack on one of the safest possible places in the wizarding world.

It made her sick.

Professors had quickly taken control of the situation. She saw McGonagall moving furniture to free students. Slughorn was currently looking at the roof with a strange sense of fascination and…fear.

Snape had just entered, his beady eyes searched the room before settling on their group.

"Fuck me." Draco mumbled behind her.

Snape stopped before them.

"Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, and." Snape pursed his lips and with a certain matter of disdain said, "and Mr. Weasley, if you would follow me. The Headmaster wishes a word with you."

Harry and Ron quickly moved after Snape. She turned to help Draco, but he shook his head before slowly following them.

* * *

She'd never once recalled Dumbledore as being angry. Warm. Mysterious. Comforting. Frightening. All at some point in her near 7 years at Hogwarts, but angry, never. Though, this time would probably be the closest.

His jaw was set and the familiar twinkle in his eyes was a roaring blaze.

"Just Mr. Potter for now." He called before leading Harry up to his office alone.

"Blimey." Ron muttered, crossing his arms. She moved to him and settled a hand on his shoulder. He smiled gratefully though his eyes flitted between the steps to Dumbledore's office and Draco.

'How'd they get in?" Ron murmured, "There are wards. They couldn't have broken through."

"They didn't need to."

They both turned toward Draco who was leaning on one of the walls near the steps.

When he felt their gaze on him, he turned his body to face them. "They probably sent someone without…" he trailed off.

"Without a Mark." Hermione finished. He nodded stiffly.

"Or it could have been on the inside." Ron jabbed. She elbowed Ron at the comment. The accusation hung in the air, but Malfoy didn't rise to it.

"They did recruit from the school before." Draco whispered, closing his eyes as he let his head rest against the stones behind him.

They both stilled at that, but if Draco noticed their discomfort, he didn't say. He grimaced putting his hand to his head, muttering something to himself.

She bit her lip. She wanted to tell him to sit down, but at that moment, Harry came down the steps. He paused before them.

"He wants you." He turned to Hermione, "And Malfoy to go up."

She nodded walking toward Draco and was surprised when he accepted her help to climb up the steps. They sat in the two seats before the Headmaster's desk waiting. His back was toward them as he stood at his window. His anger noticeable changed to one of thin acceptance and calm. Another move had been made, another piece shifted on the board.

She fidgeted, clasping her hands tightly together.

He finally turned his head and focused on Draco.

"I assume you did not know about this."

Draco scowled, choosing not to comment. It was a ridiculous question, but often, she was finding, saying the answers, no matter how trivial, out loud was comforting. Dumbledore nodded to himself, continuing to stare down Draco.

"I tell you everything that is relevant to your cause." He finally said.

That was news to her. All this time, Draco had been telling Dumbledore about the visions?

 _Relevant to your cause_

No. Some of them. Especially if his wording was to be taken into account. Then this was his choice. His side. She felt warmth wash over her in relief.

They had continued speaking without her. Both adept at tossing riddles at the other. Half-truths, they conversed in half-truths, and she found that it annoyed her to no end.

"…they've gotten stronger, it's happening soon."

She straightened at the words. Her suspicions correct as Draco's shoulders slumped after his declaration.

"They're going to ask me soon."

Dumbledore frowned, concern clear in his eyes. Ask him what? She froze then. No. No. No.

"No." Her voice rang out. Draco startled. He'd forgotten she was in the room. He turned to her, a storm of emotions on his face. They couldn't really be asking him to…not now…

"Join us." She said then, desperation seizing her.

"No." he said, clenching his fists, "The Order is a pool of hypocrisy," He turned his gaze back to Dumbledore, "that treats its heroes like it's villains." He paused, anger clear on his face now.

"Expendable."

She placed a hand over his clenched fist, surprised at how naturally the gesture seemed to come. Slowly, his fingers unclenched beneath her touch. She could feel their Headmaster's watchful gaze on them. His fascination was clear. When had this happened? When had they gotten to the point that their touches were not met with flinches or distrust? No doubt, they looked like something strange. They'd been designated enemies by birth and yet, they weren't now. Hadn't been for months.

"You don't want to fight with them either." She said softly.

"And if I stay?" he said, his voice lower, "I'm a liability Hermione." Her name. So soft coming from him.

"My parents are still on the other side. How long after they realize I'm not joining them will he wait to begin his torment as punishment? After a few rounds and the Order's steady successes because…" his voice faltered, "because of what I can tell them."

He was at war, the battle clear on his face.

"A quick glance through my family tree, maybe Bellatrix will even hand it to him, and he'll know."

He was imagining it, every bloody detail. His face paled, and his hand trembled beneath hers. She hadn't bothered to remove it.

"The Order." He stole a glance at Dumbledore, "will move me from safe house to safe house. I'll never be in the same place twice. I won't know…" his voice broke, "I won't know if my mother is dead or alive, and I won't be able to do a thing. I won't be able to fight, because I'm more valuable hidden and alive then fighting and dead."

"Draco…"

"And that's the best case scenario." He continued, tremors visibly going through his entire body. "The worst is that he kills them on the spot for lying to him when they don't even _know_."

The last word he stressed. Pieces seemed to shatter and fall into place at his declaration. They didn't know. He'd said they didn't, but in truth, she hadn't believed him at the time. Now, at his conviction in the statement, she did. Her chest tightened. How could his parents, even one as cruel and withdrawn as Lucius, not realize the torment their own child was going through?

He was shaking, and his skin had tinged to a gray green color. She blinked. The concussion. "Headmaster, I think that Draco should see Madame Pomfrey now." She spoke for the first time to Dumbledore, "I think he may have a concussion, and he's been worked up enough."

Dumbledore met her gaze. Understanding and curiosity still lingered in his eyes, but he nodded in agreement. Wordlessly, she stood. Draco followed, slowly and swaying. She shifted closer to him and snuck her shoulder beneath his arm. They walked like that out of Dumbledore's office and passed Harry and Ron who were still waiting for her. She shook her head as the questions visibly formed on their face. A declaration of going to the infirmary, and they continued.

* * *

She wanted to levitate him there, but didn't have it in her to ask. He hadn't met her eyes since leaving Dumbledore's office, retreating into his whirlwind of a mind. He'd thought it through. Every possible scenario.

All those times he'd spoken in riddles, and he'd been telling her all along.

 _No man will hurl me down to Death, against my fate. And fate? No one alive has ever escaped it, neither brave man nor coward, I tell you - it's born with us the day that we are born._

 _Pray that you'll come home again, back from your enemies, since your heart urges you against my will to those swift ships._

His plan so clear, and yet she'd hoped against all odds she was wrong. The infirmary was nearly full with students with various injuries scattered and waiting for Pomfrey to get to them.

"Granger." Draco said, as they stood near the entrance taking in the scene.

She looked up and met his gaze. "I don't think I can stand for much longer." He continued.

She nodded. She craned her neck to catch sight of an open bed when she eyed the Slytherins. Blaise noticed her first and seeing Draco leaning heavily on her immediately pulled Theo with him. The two gingerly took Draco from her and led him to a bed in the corner. He slumped on the edge of the mattress and Pansy looked him over. She ran her hands through his fringe and smiled at the scowl that had settled on Draco's face.

A pang shot through her gut at the easy unguarded action, but it was soon forgotten when Draco moaned as he rubbed his temples. Pansy frowned, still ignoring her. "I told you to take the potion Draco." She crossed her arms, "I even modified it after your last colorful refusal."

The blond opened his eyes and shot her a weak grin. "And I refused all the same."

Blaise had come to settle by her side. He leaned his head over to her. "We thought you'd both come straight here. Theo saw Draco hit the table." She nodded. "Dumbledore asked to speak with us first." Blaise nodded. Pansy had stopped arguing with Draco at this point and finally turned her gaze to settle on her.

"What are you still doing here?"

Hermione bristled and crossed her arms. "I'm staying until Pomfrey's seen him." Pansy raised a brow, meeting her anger with a scowl of her own.

"Pans." Draco began before a strange look crossed his face. Then he was on his feet, nearly running toward the loo in the infirmary. They all stayed frozen until the faint sounds of coughing and spluttering could be heard. Vomiting. She was definitely right about the concussion.

"Where is Pomfrey?" Pansy snapped then, before declaring she was off to find her. She sighed in relief at her departure and turned to find both Blaise and Theo glancing oddly at her.

"So Granger." Theo said, leaning on the edge of the bed. "You went to the dance with Draco."

She nodded. "We're both Heads and…" he waved his hand to cut her off. "Spare me that. How was your evening?"

She frowned. "Fine except for the ceiling exploding and…"

"Just fine. Nothing else?" He pushed. Her frown deepened and she noticed Blaise fighting to contain a grin. "I don't understand what…."

"Dammit Draco, the one time I make a bet." Theo exclaimed as Blaise burst into laughter.

"Theo." Draco said slowly walking back toward them, "Do shut up." The other boy clamped his mouth shut but the look of exasperation remained. Hermione chose to ignore it and helped Draco the rest of the way to the bed.

"Are you alright?" she murmured.

He grimaced as he sat on the bed. "If the room would stop spinning, I'd be fanfuckingtastic." He muttered. She allowed herself a slight grin at his curses. At least his humor was intact.

"Mate, the one time I bet on you being a smooth fuck and you don't..."

"Theo." Draco growled, "Shut your mouth, or I'll do it for you."

Hermione laughed then and both boys turned their heads to her. "I'm sorry, but this arguing, it's so normal and…" she laughed again taking in their faces.

 _Lavender has finally delivered true gossip._

She didn't know why, but the thought amused her to no end.

Slowly Theo cracked a grin, though Draco retained his scowl.

At this point, Pansy had returned with Madame Pomfrey in tow. The healer moved her wand over him, and nodded to herself before summoning a potion vial and commanding him to sit back. When he protested, she crossed her arms. "Mr. Malfoy you are not leaving this infirmary until tomorrow at the earliest. The less you're moved the better. Now take this." She placed the vial in his hand, "And go to sleep." She spun with a huff, moving to another group of students.

Hermione blinked, shocked at the normally calm witch's outburst. "I suppose it's safe to say you aren't her favorite patient." Theo snickered.

"Even though, with the amount of times I've been here, I'm probably paying her damn salary." Draco muttered unscrewing the vial and drinking its entire contents. He sighed putting the empty vial to the side.

He met Pansy's gaze and after a short moment, the girl dipped her chin in a slight nod. "Alright." Pansy said, "Let's go see if Slytherin is still in one piece after this fiasco." She motioned for Blaise and Theo to follow her. Hermione lingered after them.

"They're quite different than I expected." Hermione murmured, "Theo is…"

"A bloody wanker." Draco finished. She smiled, but said nothing. He sighed leaning back to stretch out on the infirmary bed.

"I may not even need a sleeping draught." He muttered closing his eyes.

"Draco." She began, unsure how to phrase the many questions and concerns going through her mind. Sensing her hesitance, he opened his eyes again. "Hermione." He whispered, "Not tonight."

She nodded, and he smiled slightly before closing his eyes and turning his face into the pillow. He was lightly snoring by the time, she turned to leave. She watched his chest rise and fall steadily, thinking for all that talk of Slytherin cowardice, she didn't think Draco was cowardly at all.

* * *

She'd debated 10 minutes before deciding to come back down to the infirmary to check on Draco. The sun had just begun to rise, lightly brushing over the grounds and peeking through her window. Too early, when she considered how late it was when she had finally made it back to her dorm.

Regardless, she'd caved. She wasn't going back to bed anytime soon, and the knawing and need that had settled in her stomach was overpowering. She had to make sure he'd actually slept, instead of staying up to fight off any visions. In her hand, she clutched the full pain potion vial. If he refused, she was fully prepared to force it down his throat.

He needed to relax and function properly, and despite his protests about the numbing of his senses, she found that he had the tendency to be more aware of their surroundings then her, even if his head was pounding. He could handle a slight decrease from his normal heightened awareness.

She'd neared the Hospital wing, and paused, thinking of the second vial in her rob pocket. She'd found the immune strengthening potion recipe, and had let it brew overnight. It would be easy now to give it to him under the guise as something from Pomfrey. She debated it, but her thoughts were interrupted by the echoing of low voices from the Infirmary.

Draco's voice was easy to pick out, and the second, she was certain, was Theo.

"I can't believe they got that close." Theo said.

"I can't believe a lot of things from last night." Draco said before sighing.

She moved closer toward the curve in the hall, hoping to catch a glimpse of them.

"Well, they're moving faster that's for sure."

A pause.

"I'm worried mate."

"Theo…"

"I mean we both got our glimpse over the summer, and I can't get it out of my mind. All that blood, the way we couldn't tell where it came from… gods we barely made it out of the room before you ran to the loo to get sick."

Hermione bit her lip. At the mention of blood, she'd frozen not daring to move any closer.

There was some rustling.

"It's not just that. I'm worried about you."

Silence. Her heart was drumming in her chest and the beats resounded in her ears. She could hear Draco's walls go up in his next words.

"Don't be."

Theo laughed mirthlessly.

"You used to be a better liar. Come on Dray, we've known each other since we were barely walking. You're going to have to be more convincing."

More rustling.

"I guess I'll have to work on it."

She heard another sigh.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you're a hair from running yourself into the ground before they do."

The pounding stopped, and she edged even closer. Her view didn't change, but the volume increased.

"I'm not used to this considerate side of you Nott, you're usually either a raging prat or a silent spectator."

"You'd be surprised what you pick up when you keep your trap shut." Theo retorted.

"Don't tell me that…"

"No. After all the gossip you've engineered, no one's too keen on going for either side."

"Good. At least they'll think about it." Draco said.

She blinked. He'd been protecting Slytherin. Protecting foolish students from rushing to a side. Well from rushing to one particular side.

"And have you?"

She edged closer.

"Have you thought about it?"

Draco didn't respond.

"Come on mate, after you it's me. I'd like some words of advice."

"Theo." She heard the bed creek.

"You know it is. Blaise could run. His mom has no ties with anything. In fact, she's been camping out in Italy. Pansy has time." A pause, "They're not going to bring girls into it yet. Crabble and Goyle, no matter how you defend them, are not exactly in high demand…and then…and… I've been trying to lay low all this time."

"Lay low, you're third in the class." Draco snorted.

Theo chuckled.

"Well there's only so much stupidity even I can fake, though I'm surprised how long you held out. I'd be careful though. You closed that gap between you and Granger too quickly. People think you've been holding back this entire time."

Theo cleared his throat.

"Anyway. After that it's me. It's not like father hasn't already been hinting it."

"Your father doesn't hint at anything."

"You're right. He beats it into you."

She shuffled her foot as she took her next step. She bit her lip. The sound was low, maybe they'd ignore it.

The hushed voices ceased. She stifled a groan and waited a few moments before walking the rest of the way into the infirmary. Draco was sitting on the edge of the bed already dressed, one leg hanging over the side and the other pulled up onto the bed. His head was resting on his knee, and his eyes were focused on her as soon as she came into view. There was no evidence of surprise. It made her wonder how long he'd been aware of her presence before her misstep.

She recalled his admonishment, all those weeks ago.

 _You Gryffindor's. You're not cut out for stealth._

Theo, though, had some evidence of surprise lingering in his face as he watched her make her way toward them. His dark hair was messed around his face, and she couldn't recall ever seeing him so disheveled.

She cleared her throat. "I suppose we all couldn't sleep then." She forced a weak smile to her face. Theo nodded. She stole her gaze down to Draco. "How do you feel?"

"Like shit." He murmured dropping his leg down and messaging his temples.

She held out her hand with the pain potion. Seeing it, he moved away. The action brought a genuine smile to her lips. "I did say I'd force it down if I had to." She said.

Theo grinned. "Come on Draco, the girl's come all the way here to give it to you." He teased.

Draco grumbled before snatching the vial and downing it in a single gulp.

"See how easy that was." She said.

At her teasing, Theo burst out laughing.

"Granger, I didn't think you had it in you to manipulate and then goad anyone."

She smirked at Theo, who was watching them both with a bemused interest.

Her eyes drifted back to Draco, who was beginning to relax. The tension that had held his back rigid and his shoulders stiff, had eased. He closed his eyes and took a breath, a slight flush of color seemed to spread over his face. Seeing it, she wished he'd take potions more often.

"Well mate." Theo said clasping Draco on the shoulder. "I'm going to see if I can catch up on some much needed sleep." He shot a look at her before returning his eyes on his friend. "You should too."

And like that Theo made his way out of the infirmary, leaving the two of them very much alone. He avoided her gaze.

"You should lay back down. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be moving around so much yet."

He grumbled in acknowledgement before stretching back out on the infirmary bed.

"I should have listened to Blaise and bought the beds. These things are awful." Draco muttered. She smiled slightly, but it soon faded as her mind lingered longingly at the time. She'd had no answers and a handful of questions. Now she had a handful of answers, and enough questions that they were driving her bloody mad.

"I want to talk about last night."

He sighed, not in the least surprised. He didn't say anything. She swallowed her frustration and pressed ahead.

"I want to talk about what you said to Dumbledore."

 _Or rather what you didn't say._

"Granger." He warned, sitting up slightly.

She ignored him, moving closer to sit on the bed.

"Take the help that's being offered to you. Fight with us."

 _Fight with me._

"Granger."

It was a growl. A low threat as he eased himself up into a sitting position.

"You don't want to join him." She pushed, unsure where her sudden rash words were coming from. "You don't have it in you to join him."

"You don't know me." He shouted. He seemed to loom over her, and she refused the instinct to shift away from the bed. She was going to crack him. She would not back down this time.

"There was a time I would have joined him willingly. Never forget that." He said. His eyes darkened. He'd become like the sea's eerie calm before a storm. The building silent rage dancing in the edges of his words. The air seemed to crackle as his magic flared with his temper.

Somehow it didn't frighten her into submission. If anything, it made her more determined.

"Maybe." She saw him falter under her agreement. "But not completely willingly. Never completely willingly. You'd have done it for the glory and power, for the expected praise and acceptance, for your pride, for your father to look at you with something other than contempt in his eyes."

"Don't talk about my father." He hissed taking hold of her arm. She winced at the curl of his fingers around the flesh.

"And for all that, you still wouldn't have been completely willing, because you had your doubts Draco Malfoy. You've always had your doubts. It wasn't until something pushed you over the edge that left you passed the point of no return."

She pressed on, unsure where the words were coming from. It wasn't until they were spoken that she realized they were true.

"So what was it? Because I don't believe a few trips to muggle London forced you to open your eyes. What pushed the arrogant bigoted racist pureblood Prince so that his doubts could no longer be ignored, what pushed the great Draco Malfoy hater of all the Mud-"

"Blood." He shouted, "Blood all over the Manor's floor. Blood that bled the same crimson red whether it came from a sinner or a saint…a heathen or a king." He shook. "Blood that led to the same death regardless of the source."

His eyes had glazed over, and he looked like he was a moment away from being sick right on the bed.

"Dra-"

"It was everywhere. On the floor. On the walls. In my dreams." His voice dropped. He was struggling to breathe, each rise and fall of his chest, labored. Even his hands were shaking.

"I hope you never see what hell looks like." He whispered, "because I see it every day."

She moved to close the distance between them, to offer him some sense of comfort, but he moved away.

"The Order doesn't know what they're bloody doing. They've underestimated him and everything he's capable of. They think there is some sort of magical line that can't be crossed. There isn't. There is nothing he won't do. For him, there are no boundaries."

He licked his lips.

"And that should make you very afraid."

"You think it doesn't." she whispered, "I'm terrified."

"No." he let out a strangled sigh, "Not the way that it would force you to think and think and think of every possibility."

His skin was green and suddenly he pushed off the bed and toward the loo. She closed her eyes and listened as he retched any and all of the paltry contents of his stomach. He was visibly trembling when he came back, collapsing on the bed. She stood and pulled the covers over him. He didn't protest.

"I'm going to see if I can find more potions like the one Pomfrey gave you yesterday." She said softly.

He nodded in response, his eyes closing in exhaustion.

She'd made this a habit somehow. Arguing with him to the point of physical depletion. He wasn't well. He hadn't been well in months. She seemed to keep forgetting that.

She rummaged through Pomfrey's cabinets, amazed that they'd remained undiscovered despite their earlier yelling. She found the potion that Pomfrey had given him. She paused before taking the potion vial hidden in her rob pocket out. Without a second thought, she found an empty glass and filled it with water and emptying the contents of her potion into it. The liquids bubbled as they met, but soon the liquid settled and re-took its clear appearance.

She steadied her trembling hands before taking the glass and Pomfrey's potion back to Draco. He took them from her without a word and downed both in single gulps. "Thank you." He murmured leaning back into the pillow. She sat on the edge of the mattress, exhaustion creeping into her bones and weakening her knees. He groaned lowly and his eyes closed. She pressed a hand on his chest and rubbed in soothing circles. He kept muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'I'm sorry' before falling silent.

They stayed like that for Merlin knew how long until Draco shifted his arm and caught her hand in his.

Their eyes locked. There was so much resolve behind that steely gray gaze of his.

"Tell me why." She finally whispered.

"Because I'm going to be dragged into this war one way or another. I either get pulled in kicking and screaming or I walk in with my feet still on the ground." He sighed, a hand brushing through his fringe. "There's no third option. Not for me."

"Draco." Her grip on his hand strengthened, "What you're thinking of doing is dangerous."

"But not something that hasn't been done before." He said focusing his eyes above her head. She didn't have to turn to know what had caught his gaze. The tension had thickened, and the same cool air that often accompanied their professor was heavy on her chest. Snape regarded her. She made no move to leave, her hand still on Draco's chest. His beady eyes drifted from her face to her hand and finally settled on Draco.

He shifted beneath her touch to sit up, but he weakly abandoned the effort and settled back down.

"I think it would be best Miss Granger, if you left Draco to rest."

She turned to him. When he dipped his chin in a slight nod, she stood reluctantly.

"Thank you Granger for the potions." He said softly.

She nodded weakly. "I'll be back." His lips parted slightly and a thin smile stretched across his pale face. She turned quickly, forcing one foot in front of the other. It was strange. A few short months ago, she would have gladly walked, no ran, away from Draco Malfoy in favor of peace in her room. Now though, she found she wanted nothing more than to turn back around. Because she cared. Because he'd become a friend. Because he needed someone too.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

The walk back to the Heads' dormitory was not supposed to be a long one. Though at the speed she was going, it wouldn't be a surprised if she never got there at all. She paused in the hallway, drifting to the side of the halls that held the large windows looking over the grounds. She sighed and lent against the edge focusing on the sleek white that had permanently settled on the earth below her.

"I suppose you've already beat me to a morning visit."

She half turned and watched Pansy walk slowly toward her.

"Snape is with him." She nibbled her lip, "He should probably sleep afterwards."

Pansy nodded, her dark hair swayed at the motion. She took the opposite end near the window, kneeling at the small ledge at the bottom of the glass. They sat in silence. Neither one of them knowing what exactly to say to the other. She contemplated leaving, going back to her dorm to sleep for an hour and then coming back to check on Draco. She was about to excuse herself when Pansy cleared her throat.

"I'm glad that you care enough to look out for him."

"You're glad a Mudblood cares about Draco?" She retorted fast, before biting her tongue. It had come out scathing, and she hadn't intended her bitterness to be quite so visible through her words.

Pansy inclined her head just enough for Hermione to catch a slightly bemused and bewildered expression on her face.

"I don't care that you're a Mud-Muggleborn Granger." Pansy sighed, turning to face her full on then, "Blood superiority doesn't matter much to Slytherin anymore."

She moved to protest, but Pansy quickly interrupted. "Granger, you do know there are half-bloods in Slytherin, and I cannot tell you how many of them come to me, Draco, Blaise, or even Theo hoping to bargain for protection. Only, they find, that we give it anyway." Pansy took a breath, "We protect our own even if no one else will."

Hermione was struck by the familiarity of the words.

 _This is really how they feel. This is how they survive._

"That's how it started, and then Draco pushed it along." Pansy said more to herself than to Hermione before she pursed her lips, "So to answer your question. Yes, Granger, I'm glad that you, a Muggleborn, gives enough of a shit about Draco to make sure when he was sick that he didn't..." The girl's voice cracked. Pansy's eyes were shining and she closed them, letting out a shaky breath.

"How do you know about that?" Hermione said.

"Blaise can lie to many people, but he can't lie to me. None of us can really lie to each other like that anymore." Pansy whispered. She took another breath before continuing. "I've known Draco since we were in nappies and chasing each other in the Malfoy nursery. I know when he's not telling me something. I can live with that, because I know that when he decides it's time that he will tell me. Not a moment before. I…" Pansy turned away for a moment before meeting her gaze.

"I'm a simple person Granger. I like parties. I like having fun and seeing the people I care about happy. I like weddings and pretty clothes and so many other frivolous things. And I know that a time is coming when all these things are going to be impossible, and I feel better knowing that someone other than me is worried about the people who are going to get caught in the crossfire in a war they did not _choose._ "

"Pansy." Hermione began.

The girl turned her head away.

"That's all I care about right now." Pansy spun on her heel before stalking away to disappear down the corridor.

* * *

 _We've all had to grow up so fast, and the war hasn't even happened yet._

She hugged her sides before nearly running all the way back to her dorm. She collapsed on her bed, suddenly extremely exhausted. The moment her eyes closed, she knew she would drift easily to sleep, which she did, waking two hours later. Classes had been cancelled until tomorrow, after a mandatory Perfects meeting with Dumbledore. Then, a few days and the students would be free for the holidays. The thought of leaving now made her feel sick. She sighed, running her nimble fingers through the tangles in her hair.

She needed a distraction. She gazed intently at the frost creeping at her window and determinedly she stood and walked to the kitchen. Hot chocolate. Hot chocolate always had a way of making everything bleak in her life melt away. Her thoughts strayed.

 _She wasn't the only one who needed the pick me up._

The thermos was in her hand before she could even think. With it filled to the top and two mugs stashed in her bag, she left the room and headed back to the Infirmary.

He was stretched across the bed, an arm haphazardly thrown over his face. The rise and fall of his chest told her that he was not asleep. She blushed as she thought it. It felt intimate. The knowledge that she could recognize the patterns of his breathing. She shoved her musings aside and cleared her throat.

He lifted his arm slowly, blinking as he focused on her. The green in his skin had been replaced with a yellow tint that did his normally fair complexion no favors.

 _And yet he was still beautiful._

She scoffed at the thought, forcing a friendly smile on her face. He sighed lifting his body up to a sitting position. He winced after a moment. She walked the rest of the way to the bed. She sat on the bed over and placed the thermos on the stand between them.

"Pomfrey is keeping me here for another day." He said bitterly.

"It's just to monitor you." She said with a slight grin before becoming serious. "You haven't been sick again have you?"

He scratched the back of his head before tugging at the wisps of hair that brushed his neck. "Twice."

Her eyes widened.

"I don't think it's because of hitting the table." He continued quickly, "When they get bad, I…" She nodded before folding her arms. "We can be quiet if that helps."

He shook his head a thin smile on his face. "No, the talking distracts me."

She nodded before taking the mugs out. "Well maybe this will also help." She unscrewed the thermos and poured. He took his mug with a raised brow.

"Hot chocolate."

She smiled and sipped at her mug, enjoying the warmth of the liquid as it washed down her throat. He took a sip. He sighed, clutching both hands around the mug.

"Your friends aren't what I expected them to be." She said swinging her legs up on the bed and crossing them.

"You'd rather them belittle and threaten you?" Draco said with a smirk.

"I'd have expected it." She said with a weak smile. He laughed lowly, taking a generous sip from his mug.

"The first few years maybe, growing up reciting a doctrine and brought up not to question it does that to you." He said with a wryly smile, "but we all had doubts Granger." He bent his head low, his bangs falling across his face.

"I know." She whispered, "I can see that now." It occurred to her then how many times that she'd managed to be wrong in the past few months, all leading to this moment. Brightest witch of her age. It seemed like a joke now.

"Draco."

He glanced up at her.

"Why do they want to mark you?"

He looked up and in a single motion he cast a Silencing charm around them. He looked tired, though resigned.

"They've threatened to mark me since sixth year. I'm lucky that I've lasted this long without it." He sighed rolling up his sleeves and tracing circles around his left forearm.

"My mother told them I was too young to properly serve. She probably invented a million reasons, and he was satisfied for a while. Ever since I turned of age, he's been adamant I receive it."

"But you're still young, barely of age…"

"The deeper we descend into this darkness Granger," He interrupted, "the more you'll realize that war is always fought and paid for by children."

She couldn't deny that. She'd known. She'd know from the summer. He placed his empty mug on the table. Her eyes stayed fixed on the rim.

"But you still didn't answer. Why you? There are others." She swallowed roughly, "Other sons…"

"I'm everything he wants." He said dryly, "My blood is old. I'm the last from the Malfoy and Black lines. The culmination of two of the oldest wizarding bloodlines that, between the both of them, have left their marks spanning all across the continent." His voice dropped, "And the Black line, no matter how faint, holds a single thing that raises their importance above the rest…the ability to trace the line back all the way to Salazar Slytherin."

Hermione leaned closer to the edge of the bed.

"That alone makes me desirable." He said running his hand through his hair, tugging in frustration. "Then you add in everything else. Son of one of the inner circle. Top of the class, second only to _one."_

She felt his eyes on her, but didn't move to meet them.

"And that second is separated by such a thin margin that some might argue is only due to the favoritism that governs the staff at Hogwarts." Her eyes darted up to meet his then. They were unreadable at that moment. All she could discern was how uncharacteristically bright they were. "Even if it's not true, and I don't think it's true; People will say it. More people will believe it." She bit her lip. "I'm the image he wants for his next generation of Death Eaters." His voice was barely a whisper, "And he will get what he wants."

"I'm sorry." She said then, "I shouldn't have asked. I…"

Her voice trailed off as he shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It's all true, and he'll prove it when I receive the mark over the holiday."

At her sharp intake of breath, he shifted his position so that his legs were draped over the edge. He leaned over and clutched one of the hands in her lap.

"Just…Just remember that everything that happens from here on out is nothing like it seems."

The plea was deep in his eyes. "But I'm going to be here. I'm going to know… I…" her eyes widened, "You're not going to let me help you."

He dropped her hand, and she mourned the feel of his warm palms. "We can't be seen together any more than necessary."

"You're not a good enough actor to play that part. You don't have it in you like the rest of them do." She said softly.

There was a weak smile on his face. "I don't know what you're talking about. I am great at everything that I do."

His words were weak, and free of his usually sharp delivery. Without his trademark arrogance, they rang hollow. They were meant to lighten the mood, but she found it upset her further.

"And if I'm not," He continued, "then I'll have to learn, and you know better than anyone that I'm a quick study."

She decided to play along; if only to forget about the heaviness that was lodging itself in her chest and rising to her throat. "Well you have been my only real competition in all our years here."

He puffed his chest out proudly. "So you admit it."

"It's always been true." She said fondly.

He smiled, the only true one of the day before settling back into the bed and stretching his legs out.

"You should sleep some more."

He turned to his side, facing her. He shook his head absently. "Yesterday I was so exhausted, I knew I'd go right under and sleep without a single dream. Tonight though, I will dream, and I can't leave. I tried to, when I got a moment alone, and I couldn't take two steps without the room spinning."

She understood the request.

"I'll stay."

He looked up at her, and he seemed so young with his eyes wide and trained on her.

"Hermione you have to wake me. If I say anything, if it seems like…."

"I will." She insisted, laying down on the mattress, "I will I promise." Her repetition must have put him at ease because he nodded and let his eyes close.

She watched as his breathing settled and his features relaxed slightly, but not enough to completely unwind. She fell asleep like that, watching him and repeating her own words back to herself.

 _I promise_

 _I promise._

 _I promise._


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

On December 21st, the day of the winter solstice, a bomb went off in King's Cross. At least that's what the muggle newspapers had reported. The Prophet had said that the smoke from the spells and fire had spread outside and nearly blackened out the sun for blocks.

 _Winter greets us in smoke._

More than a dozen injured both muggle and wizard, and two deaths.

Her stomach had churned as she'd folded the newspaper and immediately flooed the Burrow. Neither Harry or Ron or the rest of Weasleys seemed to know anything more than what had been reported. The mark had appeared though, before the chaos. There were no questions about who was responsible.

Her mother had finally approached her, afraid that she'd fallen too deep into her chaotic mind and suggested that she join her friends at the Burrow. Though, she'd warned, there would be severe consequences if she was not home by Christmas.

She'd taken what she could and with haste run to her fireplace and thrown in the powder. Harry had greeted her with unspeakable understanding in his green eyes. Another piece shifted, and it was like Voldemort had waved his flag with the clear letters stamped out, Your Move.

"Why King's Cross?" Harry said, clutching a drink in his hand that smelled suspiciously of firewhiskey.

"Does it matter?" Ron retorted, stretching out on the couch so that his arm brushed her shoulder.

"Because." She said biting her lower lip, "Because King's Cross has always been hope."

She felt their eyes settle on her.

"It's always been the hope in beginnings. Hope at Hogwarts." She clenched her fist. "He won't take it from us. I refuse." She fixed her eyes on Harry, willing for him to catch bits of the anger that she was feeling. "We won't let him." Harry nodded after a moment.

"No." He whispered in agreement, "No we will not."

She nodded swiftly and ignored the pang in her chest. Silver flashed before her eyes. She wondered if he was receiving similar comfort now.

No. No, probably not.

It was at that moment she noticed the uncomfortable heat spreading along her neck. She clasped her necklace on instinct, before hastily dropping it. "Hermione." Harry said, his sharp eyes on the familiar pendant.

"I think I need to use the loo." She said quickly before rushing up to the room she was sharing with Ginny.

She quickly turned the locket over in her hands, biting back the uncomfortable burning at her fingertips. She murmured the incantation and waited. No voices. She glanced down and noticed words scrawling up along the metal.

 _I'm sorry._

They were quickly replaced.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't understand it in time to warn…_

The words cut off, as though his thoughts had been abruptly interrupted. The need to reassure him was overpowering, but really what to say? How do you comfort someone who had probably been dreaming of this kind of terror for months, but was unable to understand what it meant?

She twisted the pendant in her hand, muttering her response.

 _Don't blame yourself. You know it wasn't your fault._

"Hermione?"

She heard Ginny knock on the door as she slowly entered. She dropped her pendant swiftly and turned. "Hi Ginny."

The girl looked at her quizzically. "What are you doing up here?"

She was about to answer, when she felt her pendant heat up again. She reached to touch it, and was shocked when she heard his voice sound in her mind.

 _Can I see you?_

She bit her lip. The easiest choice was at the tip of her tongue, but her heart was pounding a very different answer to the question. Ginny was still eyeing her, though now with more interest than confusion.

She cleared her throat.

"I think I may have left some things back at my parents. I'm just going to pop over and grab them and I'll be back."

Ginny nodded slowly. "Ok, well, you know where the Floo powder is…"

"Actually." She grabbed her wand and jacket, "I think I'll just apparate."

She pushed passed the other girl quickly, clutching her pendant and murmuring her response.

 _Diagon Alley_

* * *

She landed near the Leaky Cauldron, and slowly walked around. Her necklace flared with heat.

 _Go inside and I'll find you._

She nearly bristled at the message. She was never one to follow anyone's orders and having to follow them without control over the situation was too much. Though, when it came to Draco, she wasn't sure she was anywhere even near the realm of in control anyway.

She settled at a table near the back with a Butterbeer in hand, sipping and waiting. She kept her gaze trained ahead when she felt the hairs on her neck stand. A figure slipped into the table behind her. Slowly, she let her eyes drift back to him.

He was glamoured, signature light hair hidden in brown tresses. He'd even charmed his skin a few shades warmer. Yet, she recognized him, a testament to how well she'd gotten to know him. A napkin fell into her lap as he got up and left quickly.

She stared at it for a moment before an incantation popped into her head. Barely whispering, she murmured the words.

 _Upstairs. Third room on the left from the staircase._

After a breath, she crumpled the napkin and stuffed it in her pocket before following him up. When the door swung open, she was relieved to be greeted by his familiar light and pale features. He flashed the barest of smiles. She stepped in cautious of her surroundings. He'd already drawn the curtain around the window closed.

She fell into a seat and inspected him. He was worse for wear. The circles beneath his eyes were darker, and he'd dropped so much weight that his clothes seemed almost ill fitting. Almost.

He was still so beautiful that it hurt.

Him and his wreckage and his turmoil.

He mumbled something, moving to sit beside her. She shocked them both when she reached out to clasp his hand.

"It's not your fault." She said firmly. He trembled beneath her touch before withdrawing his hand and cradling it close to his body.

"Is it terrible that I'm _relieved_ that it finally happened." He bit the inside of his cheek, "The visions always calm after the event happens." The last part was nearly a mutter, more to himself than her. She tore her eyes from his withdrawn face and glanced down to the forearm he was clutching to as if his life depended on it. That's when she realized which forearm he was clutching.

"Draco."

He shied away from her. "He did it, didn't he?" She whispered. When he didn't react, she grabbed his arm and pushed the sleeve up his arm. She barely had time to bite her tongue to keep in her shout. It was mangled. His pale flesh torn and cut. Some slashes, whenever he flexed his hand, were still bleeding. The mark was there, beneath all of it, irritated skin surrounding it's edges. Slowly, she brought her fingers over the scars and, after a moment of hesitation, the mark. He hissed as her fingertips met his flesh.

"Why does it look like this?"

"Because I resisted, and…"

"And what? You tried to claw it off you." She said, flinching as she realized how high her voice had risen. She chewed her lip before sighing. Her fingertips went back to the scars. "It looks infected Draco." He let out a small noise as her hands continued to message his skin.

They leant closer to each other.

"What does he want you to do?"

He pulled away, lowering his sleeve. His back turned slightly to her, and she hated the hurt she felt at the gesture. "What makes you think he wants me to do anything?" he finally asked.

"I know everything."

He chuckled, mirthlessly. "I know." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Not today Hermione." She shivered at her name. Their faces were so close now. He took a breath, and realizing the proximity, he pulled away and stood.

"Thank you for coming." He said softly, turning toward the curtains.

This was her cue. He wasn't going to say any more, and she should leave. She folded her arms across her chest. "Draco."

He turned his head, allowing her a glimpse of his profile.

"You need to get something for your arm, a healing balm or something." She chewed her lip, "and you need to get some rest."

He nodded, "I try, but I think I slept better in our dorm." He dug his hands into his pockets. When he spoke next, his voice barely carried through the air. "I think it had something to do with you."

She bit her lip, not daring to breathe, lest she break this peace between them.

"I'll see you at school." She finally said, pausing at the door, "And Happy Christmas."

* * *

She didn't wait for his answer, instead rushing out of the room and out of the pub. When she finally got back to the Burrow, she barely made it to the loo before she burst into tears. A soft knock at her door, and Ginny joined her, holding her until the tears abated.

"Oh Gin." She sobbed, "It's all wrong."

Ginny nodded, and it was almost like she understood. Like she knew.

"Just believe that it will be alright 'Mione." She murmured as Hermione buried her head into the other girl's shoulder.

"I'm trying." She whispered. Silver eyes flashed in her mind.

"I'm trying." She whispered.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: Review! Review! Review!

* * *

 _To want and not to have._

 _To want and not to have._

She sighed rubbing her hands over her eyes. Virginia Woolf was an odd companion to have at the moment, but she'd been trying, to no avail, to forget and ignore the lump that had permanently lodged in her chest. She threw her legs over the side of her bed and stumbled out of her room.

The holidays hadn't ended fast enough. Every time her mother had smiled and talked of some holiday tradition, she'd felt her stomach churn. How could anyone be happy, how could she be happy, when her thoughts were consumed in…in… She forced the thoughts away as she made her way through the castle. She turned into the room and closed her eyes in preparation. She sighed, seemingly calmed, before opening her eyes to gaze at the familiar statue that guarded the staircase that led up to the Headmaster's office.

* * *

Dumbledore had asked to see her. Seeing as she was alone, she assumed it had nothing to do with Head duties. Draco would be here otherwise.

She mumbled the password and walked up to the winding staircase.

Her Headmaster was admiring an odd trinket on his desk when she finally wondered into the room. "Ah Miss Granger, please sit."

She wrung her hands together, but reluctantly sat. Dumbledore's eyes glinted with their familiar amusement, and unwittingly, she began to relax.

"Sir, if this is about the final plans and events scheduled for the term, I feel that it would be best to wait until Draco has returned." She finally said.

Dumbledore smiled, and shook his head.

"No, Miss Grange, this is not about your Head duties." She frowned. "But it does pertain to young Mr. Malfoy."

She stilled.

He seemed thoughtful as he continued. "I see you've guessed what I am about to say. Yes, Miss Granger I am aware of the changes in Draco's situation as well as those he chooses to confide in."

"Headmaster." Her vision blurred as tears immediately pooled in her eyes.

He held up his hand to cut her off.

"I am old my dear, and one finds that with age the normal pleasantries and small words of comfort are easily set aside so that the conversations that still must be had can occur. I must speak plainly now Miss Granger. I fear I do not have much more time to do so."

"Headmaster. I…I understand." She finally said. He nodded, having expected her response.

Dumbledore sighed, gingerly lifting his robe that had hidden his other hand until now. She gasped at the darkened skin. A cursed limb. It had to be. She'd read books on it, but nothing could have prepared her for the look of the flesh in person.

"Severus has told me that it is quite irreversible and has assured me that, when the time comes, he will insure I receive a quick and painless death rather than succumb to the natural course of this curse."

Her breath hitched at that same word again. Death. Out loud it became powerful and inevitable. Hopeless.

"But Headmaster, surely something can be done. Voldemort desires your death, we cannot…" She halted mid-sentence. Could that be… She turned to Dumbledore and watched the amused sadness dance about in his blue eyes. She was right then. This was the task. This is what Draco had been carrying with him since the beginning.

 _He will insure I receive a quick and painless death rather than succumb to the natural course of this curse_

 _"_ So Professor Snape has agreed to take the burden of the act." She struggled at the last word, unable to meet her Headmaster's kind eyes.

"Ah Severus." He said bemused, "A braver man than he allows others to believe."

Hermione silently thought of another Slytherin, who emboldened that very contradiction.

A dark cloud settled on Dumbledore's face. "Though, I find that despite the wand which will inevitably cast the spell, any parties involved are meant to suffer the same punishment." He continued, sadness marring his features. "I must emphasize the importance of keeping Mr. Malfoy's allegiance a secret despite the trials that will be brought by it."

She found herself nodding. "Of course Headmaster, but I…" she bit her lip, "It just seems wrong that no one will know of all that he is willing to lose in order to aid our side."

He smiled slightly. "Yes, rather a shame that some's bravery must remain within the shadows, but I sense it is not everyone's understanding that you long for Miss Granger."

She clasped her hands together, her earlier nervousness manifesting again.

"Harry and Ron. I…I don't know if I can keep this secret from them."

"You do not need my permission for what you choose to do with your knowledge Miss Granger, though I advise that should you choose to tell Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, you wait until the most appropriate time to do so." He looked thoughtfully passed her.

"I fear that the war that looms in the distance will not end as quickly as I would hope. The danger increases with time. I implore you Miss Granger to weigh each decision before you make it."

Her response was automatic.

"I already am."

The smile in her Headmaster's eyes was blinding. His pride overwhelmed her. A lone tear escaped down her face. She rubbed it away before turning back to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry Headmaster, but your death." Her voice broke.

"Do not cry for my fate Miss Granger. I have lived, I have failed, and I have loved. I pity those who have not done all three."

She nodded her response. Her throat unable to manage more than a few short burst of air running through it.

He gave her one last sad smile.

"I think that will be all Miss Granger."

* * *

She left, numb after her meeting with Dumbledore and immediately fell into her bed. She must have tossed and turned for hours, but eventually her exhaustion forced her into sleep.

The next morning McGonagall had met with her about her actual Head duties, but at that point she wasn't sure she cared about them at all. She forced herself to keep busy, hoping to avoid losing herself in her thoughts. She even planned her exam revision schedule, though each action was hollow. She sighed, absently running her hand through Crookshanks' fur.

"Oh Crooks." She murmured. She stood and wondered toward the Common Room. At least her familiar was with her now to offer some semblance of comfort. Her mind wandered as she walked slowly down the short hallway.

 _Should she have told Draco that she was bringing Crooks back with her?_

The feline in question wondered out of her grasp and darted out of her room. She heard rustling, and with a frown, she followed her cat's path. She'd just reached the Common Room, when she heard a distinctly human sniff. Her speed increased, and the room came into view.

Draco was glancing down to where Crookshanks had wrapped himself around his legs. His hand covered his mouth and nose, though his eyes immediately left Crooks to settle on her. "He seems to like you." She said after neither one of them moved to speak.

At her voice, Crooks detangled himself from Draco and disappeared back into her room. He sighed at the cat's disappearance, and removed his hand.

"You're not allergic are you?" She said.

"I shouldn't be." He murmured, picking imaginary pieces of lint of his clothes, "But it seems all the stress is finally starting to destroy what's left of my immune system, and my core isn't compensating for my body's malfunctioning."

She racked her eyes over him, and grimaced at how much more weight he'd managed to lose. He gave her a weak smile when she finally drew her eyes up to meet his. "I have immune strengthening potion." She blurted out.

He tensed, before the weak smile spread across his face again.

"Course you do."

She motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen, where she grabbed a vial from her storage. He took it without protest, downing the contents in a single gulp. She watched as his eyes widened in realization.

"I've had this before, haven't I?" There was a thin trace of amusement in his voice.

"When I visited you in the infirmary after the dance."

He nodded to himself. "Very Slytherin of you." He teased setting the vial down on the counter.

"I'm learning from the best."

He pursed his lips, before a wryly grin stretched across his face.

 _I've been worried. Merlin, so worried._

She wanted to scream it.

"Granger."

His expression was softer.

 _I know._

She let out a breath.

He motioned for her to follow them back into their Common Room. He settled on the couch and stretched his legs. "Finally." He said, stretching his arms above him. She glanced at the patch of skin peeking from his sleeve. She took his arm, and when he didn't protest, she rolled up his sleeve.

The scars still ran along his arms, but the inflammation had gone down considerably. She traced the healing skin slowly, marveling at how much it had improved.

"It looks a lot better." She murmured.

He took his arm back.

"You should be angry with me, not wondering about if it's healed."

She bit her tongue. His eyes seemed distant, lost in his thoughts. "Do you want me to be?"

"At least it would make sense." He snapped.

"Well I am." She moved closer to him. He dropped his head, his fringe covering his face.

"I am." She continued, "I'm furious."

His shoulders dropped.

"But not at you."

He tensed, and she moved even closer.

"Not when you were threatened into it." She said taking his hand.

"I had a choice. I could have stunned my mother and ran before all of this. Never looked back." He said, finally raising his head.

"And let your father die?" she pressed. This conversation had to happen sooner or later. The air had to be cleared between them.

"You wouldn't have done it." His eyes widened, "You wouldn't have let _him_ brand you like a farm animal."

"If he had my mother." She whispered, "I would do anything."

He met her gaze, leaning closer so that their foreheads could touch. He was circling in despair, and that was a dangerous thing. He couldn't lose himself. She wouldn't allow it. It almost made her wish for the confident arrogant Malfoy, who thought himself king of the world…that he could do whatever he wanted.

"You're fighting him in the way you can." She pressed.

"In the shadows." He let out a breath before widening the gap between them.

"Better than nothing." She said, threading her fingers through his. He nodded, and relaxed back against the couch.

She smiled. "There. Enough of that." She slowly let go of his hand, mourning the feel of his fingers when they finally separated.

He nodded, clearing his throat. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "How was your holiday?" he asked, politely.

Her brow rose, and he smirked.

"Just trying to ah steer the conversation away from _that_."

She smiled and shook her head. "Well as good as to be expected. I just couldn't really get into it this year. Everything about that we know, and then the attack at King's Cross."

Draco grimaced. She was about to quickly try to explain when he turned away from her and sneezed twice into his hand. He groaned and looked at his hand with distaste.

"Bloody gross." He muttered heading back to the Common Bathroom. She cocked her head.

 _My core isn't compensating for my body's malfunctioning._

She felt her curiosity roar to life as her inquisitive nature immediately began connecting dots and formulating new questions.

"So why isn't your core…Wait your magical core? That can compensate for body malfunctions? I mean how does that work; magically and biologically? I mean. Wow." She said, suddenly latching on to the subject change. In truth, she'd never heard of any of this. It was actually quite fascinating.

"I'm so happy to entertain." He called out. She laughed, climbing up onto the couch and leaning over to look down the hall.

"So why is that?" she asked again.

"Probably all the magic I've been doing and being exposed to." He said, rubbing his face, "How long before the potion kicks in?" He walked back into the Common Room.

She chewed her lip. "Well, overnight."

He groaned. "So, I'll be miserable until morning."

"Well, I have muggle medicine." She suggested. He moved his hand from his face. His brow rose.

"So you don't have to be completely miserable." She continued. She bit her tongue, waiting for him to respond.

He stood still for a moment before he nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose.

She smiled and jumped off the couch and went into the kitchen, with Draco at her heels. She shuffled through a drawer before pulling out a silver foil and popped two tablets out. He looked at them for a moment, biting his lip.

With a sigh, he summoned a glass and popped the two tablets into his mouth.

"No quips about how I might be poisoning you?" she teased when he made a face as he swallowed.

He shrugged. "You've had enough opportunities already." He took another sip from the glass before setting it down.

She folded her arms. "So you trust me."

He looked up at her before quickly looking away. "More than I should."

She stepped closer.

"I mean; I'm still waiting for the day Potter jumps me on the way to Arithmancy to drag me away for justice."

She rested her hand on his arm. "I wouldn't let him."

"Never say never." He said bitterly, rubbing his face.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Are you going to tell me and let me help now?"

He made an unhappy noise and moved away from her. He moved to step out of the kitchen, but she held out her arm to stop him. She let her hand rest on his chest, and the sheer familiarity was enough to stop Draco in his tracks.

 _Down to Death._

It's a whisper between them.

She swallowed hard as he remained rigid against her fingertips.

"Hermione." He licked his lips, "You can't help me. You can't." he took a breath. "If we were caught."

She shook her head. "No. No I can't." She pursed her lips, "But I can help you plan."


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: Review=love

* * *

Plan they did.

Well, after she'd cried herself dry.

 _Dumbledore is dying._

Hearing it again and spoken out loud had forced her to become undone. Then there was everything else she hadn't anticipated like all the other troubles Draco had unloaded. After he'd finally, finally told her everything, she wanted to immediately recant her promise to not help him directly.

He'd realized it, reiterating her promise. Multiple times in fact.

He was cracking under it all. The Vanishing Cabinet. The impending death of their Headmaster. The constant threat to his mother. It led to more weight lost, some occasionally re-gained, whenever she forced him to eat that is.

Then there were the visions.

Forgotten silencing charms allowed her to hear exactly how much worse they'd gotten.

She sighed looking down at the plate of food in front of her before stealing a glance to the Slytherin table across the room. Draco had his head bent over, his food largely untouched as Theo prattled on next to him. She saw Pansy nudge him and gesture to his plate.

The set posture of the Slytherin girl nearly brought a smile to her lips. She was certainly not caving under the scowl Draco sent her way. As if sensing her eyes on him, Draco looked up and caught her gaze. A slow smirk spread on his face before he took his fork and raised it in mock salute.

She bit her lip to prevent the smile fighting to break free.

"Hermione?"

She turned to the voice and found Harry watching her intently. His eyes mirrored her actions from a moment before.

"Malfoy looks ill doesn't he?" He mused before his eyes narrowed, and he continued, "No matter what you say, I still think he's up to something."

She suppressed the urge to groan. Ever since they'd returned from the holidays, Harry had been adamant that Draco was planning something purely dastardly.

 _If he only knew how right he was._

It didn't matter how many times she defended Draco, Harry was too set in his beliefs. Any other time, she'd have been impressed at his perception. Now, it made her feel liable to strangle him if he brought it up again.

To her surprise it was Ron who let out a groan.

"Let it go mate. The bloke can barely stand; you really think he's doing anything that would start a fight?"

She could have kissed Ron at his declaration, but the sensation quickly passed when she saw him eating with his mouth open.

"He's up to something I know it. I've been watching him with the map." Harry's voice dropped.

She shook her head, willing herself to remain calm.

"Draco is not a Death Eater Harry." She hissed.

 _Maybe technically, but to her, he wasn't. At least not really._

"I live with him. Don't you think I would notice." She continued harshly.

Harry sheepishly turned away before giving her a slight nod. She gave him a bare smile, just to let him know he was forgiven, though she still wasn't happy with him.

"What memories did you go through with Dumbledore last night?" She asked then, hoping to distract him for the time being. Harry latched onto the subject change and began a short account of everything he'd done the night before.

She sighed stealing one last look at the Slytherin table, slightly disappointed that Draco had disappeared before the meal was even over. She turned back to Harry and willed herself to focus, not missing the way Ginny's eyes settled on her.

When breakfast was over, they all stood ready to make their way to class. She found herself quickly falling behind their pace. By the time she noticed, she was alone with only Ginny.

The redhead shot her a small smile.

"Don't be too upset with Harry. I think it's all this stress that's got him extra paranoid." Ginny said.

She nodded. Of course he was, but it didn't give him a right to throw out accusations left and right. No matter how true they technically may be.

"But what's really wrong with Malfoy?"

She looked up quickly and saw that there was nothing but concern in Ginny's eyes.

"I can tell you're worried about him. We've all seen how he's looked lately, and even I'm a bit concerned."

She bit her lip, her mind racing with what exactly she should or shouldn't say. She let out a breath.

"He's been worried about his mother."

Not a complete lie, perhaps it would be enough.

"I think she might be sick or something like that." She continued, "He's been going to the Room of Requirement a lot. It helps, I think."

They were true, in their own way. It made them believable.

Ginny's eyes widened a fraction before she schooled her features in a determined look.

"I'll make sure Harry gets it through that thick head of his."

She nearly cringed. If Ginny told Harry, there was a possibility Ron would be told, and then the whole school may as well have found out. This had to stay within the confines of their group.

"Ginny." She bit her lip, "He doesn't want people to know."

Ginny nodded, and she shot her a sympathetic look. "Of course." She said before turning away.

She sighed, watching the red head go. If only everything could be resolved by a few choice words and empathy.

* * *

The rest of the day went quickly. One class after another. It was a routine that even she was getting restless with. When she finally stalked away from her last class, Charms, she headed toward the library for a few extra hours of study and reading. Hopefully, the work would serve as a distraction. Besides, NEWTs were coming, and she planned on acing every single one of them.

She lost herself in her books for an hour, but at the approach of the second, she was anxious. Something seemed off. She pushed the text in front of her away. Maybe a change of scenery would help. Perhaps Draco would be back in their dorm, and she could scold him once more about the importance of proper nutrition, and that Harry was once again suspicious of him.

She bit her lip.

 _And perhaps also just to make sure he was alright._

She let out a breath before taking a few choice tomes with her to check out from Madame Pince.

Her heels echoed along the empty corridors. She paused before she made to turn up the staircase, straining her head to the side.

Was that shouting?

The books dropped from her hand as she made a mad dash down the hall.

 _Harry what have you done._

The shouts grew clearer now as the bathroom came into view. She bounded in and saw Harry raise his wand and Draco opposite him.

With his wand hand down.

* * *

It takes a second to die.

It takes a second to see your entire life flash before your eyes.

It felt like that in the moment she saw Harry blast a spell she'd never heard straight at Draco.

Only it wasn't her life that flashed before her eyes.

It was his.

* * *

She screamed as he fell, blood seeping through his shirt, and his eyes wide in shock as they went from his chest to Harry before settling on hers.

When he connected with the tiled floor, she sprang into action.

"Harry." She yelled falling at Draco's feet, pressing her hands down on the open wounds that she could see, hoping to stop some of the blood flow.

She half turned and saw Harry staring blankly at her. His face was nearly as pale as Draco's.

"Harry." She snapped and was relieved when he finally seemed to move.

"Oh God, what did I do?" He moaned looking down at Draco.

"Harry get a Professor. Go." She shouted, pressing her hands even harder on the wounds, but to no avail.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Healing spells.

She needed a healing spell. She closed her eyes for a moment, willing the adrenaline to cede in favor of peace. She needed to think. He was losing too much blood.

She fumbled for her wand. Her hands wet from the crimson still clinging to her fingers. After a moment, she recalled a simple spell. It was only meant to heal surface wounds, but she had to close them. He'd die from blood loss if she did nothing.

She flicked her wand and muttered the words under her breath as she watched his skin knit together.

Please work.

The blood stopped for a moment, but, to her dismay, the wounds slowly began to reopen.

"No dammit. No." She exclaimed. Her eyes drifted to his face. His skin was practically translucent now, but his features were so relaxed. Like he was sleeping.

She felt a sob get caught in her throat.

This couldn't be it.

Her vision blurred, and she was vaguely aware of footsteps echoing behind her before she was torn aside from Draco and replaced by Professor Snape.

Harry was shaking as his eyes moved rapidly from the pair on the floor to her hands. She looked down and saw that the blood had dried on her skin. His blood.

Everything slowed.

She watched in awe as Snape closed Draco's wounds and ran with him in his arms straight to the Infirmary. Her body followed, feet moving of their own accord.

He was going to live. He was going to live.

While Pomfrey fused over Draco, Professor Snape turned to regard the two of them.

"Explain." He bit out.

They were both too stunned to say anything. Snape stared at her for a moment before focusing on Harry.

"Potter."

At that Harry broke, rambling about how he'd stumbled on Malfoy; how they'd drawn wands.

She frowned at that. Draco's wand hadn't been up. But she bit her tongue, letting Harry continue. When Snape sent him away to fetch the book from which he'd uncovered that vile curse, she turned to her professor.

"Draco's wand wasn't up."

He looked at her blandly, but she could see it. Even if it was just a flash. The fear and concern that were wedged in his dark eyes for his godson, who lay unconscious a bed away from them.

"I suspect that Mr. Malfoy was distracting Mr. Potter by manipulating his mind. He was a fool for not recognizing it."

With that he turned away from her, effectively dismissing her. She stammered but said nothing. Now that the adrenaline was fully gone from her system, her knees were buckling under her weight. Her eyes caught the red stains on her fingers, and she grimaced at the sight.

At that moment, Madame Pomfrey seemed to finally notice her. After a quick once over, where she concluded that Hermione possessed no injuries of her own, she shooed her out, telling her to clean up. Draco was in no condition to receive visitors.

Her gaze settled on him, focused on the labored rise and fall of his chest. She bit her lip and quickly turned away. She'd be back. He would be fine.

He was still alive. That's what mattered.

* * *

Instead of heading toward the Head dormitory, her feet took her to Gryffindor Tower with the words for a quick cleaning spell on her lips. She paused at the portrait. It took her a second for her determination and anger to take over, and she entered the Common Room practically stomping her feet.

It was nearly empty, except for a few students hunched near the fire. She wondered who had shooed the other years away.

 _And if everyone knew that Harry attacked Draco._

Ginny and Ron parted ways for her to stand right in front of the slumped form of Harry Potter.

He swallowed and lifted his head to meet her eyes.

"How is he?"

"Unconscious." She said tersely, before crossing her arms. "Harry James Potter what in Merlin's name were you thinking? You nearly killed a student because of that that book."

His shoulders dropped, but he kept his gaze on hers.

"Mione." Ginny said placing a hand on her shoulder, "He didn't know what that spell did."

"It doesn't matter." She said flatly, "Would you use a spell you weren't familiar with on anyone? No. But you did Harry." She turned back to him, and he visibly flinched under the intensity of her gaze.

"The fact is." She turned to each of them in turn, daring them to argue, "that you used a dark curse and nearly killed a student, and not just any student, the Head Boy no less. You'll be lucky if you aren't expelled and sent to Azkaban for this."

"We got your point Hermione." Ron said, speaking for the first time since she entered. "But it's not like he's dead. Malfoy's alive isn't he?"

"You didn't see all that…" Her voice broke.

"Blood." Harry finished. His brow set in a determined expression. "Hermione's right. This." He met her eyes again, and for a moment she forgot that Ginny and Ron were even in the room. "This is on me." He said before getting up and stalking toward the boy's dormitories.

Ron was quick to follow him, leaving her with Ginny for the second time today. Was it just this morning that they'd spoken? It felt like a lifetime had passed since then.

She collapsed on one of the empty seats, finally spent. Her previous anger that she'd been running on was gone. Her exhaustion was asking for her to rest, but her mind couldn't simply shut off now. Not when every time she closed her eyes all she saw was Draco's pale face and his blood on her hands.

She let out a shaky breath and startled when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.

Ginny gave her a weak smile.

"He had to hear it." She said softly.

"I know you have a point Hermione, but I think Harry's beating himself up enough over it." Ginny said.

She nodded.

"But enough about Harry." She continued, "How are you? How's Malfoy?"

She couldn't help it. She burst into tears.

Ginny's arms tightened around her, and she buried her face in the crook of her neck.

"Oh god. I thought he was going to die right there in my arms." She said as her sobs quieted.

Ginny pulled away and fished in her pockets before pulling out a handkerchief.

She accepted it gratefully and wiped the tear stains from her cheeks. The crying had helped. She was finally reaching an equilibrium, though her head still felt heavy. She sniffed as she rubbed her face with her hands before meeting Ginny's gaze.

"He's going to be ok." She murmured.

Logically, she knew he would. Only, it wasn't just her fear over this incident, it was for everything she knew was undoubtedly still looming over them. This was the first of many to come, and if she was as devastated after just this….

 _What would happen when the stakes were raised?_

"I know." She finally spoke, "I just can't get over how,"

"How close he was to the end." Ginny finished.

She merely nodded in response.

Ginny gave her a soft smile, with a determined gleam in her eyes.

"I think you just need some reassurance. I assume Pomfrey and Snape kicked you out rather quickly?"

"Almost immediately." She agreed.

She barely blinked, before she saw Ginny stalk off toward the boy's dormitory and returning with Harry's cloak in her hand.

"Go check on him."

She wanted to protest. It was unlikely that he was awake. Yet, at the same time she felt part of her begin to cave the longer she stared at the cloak in Ginny's outstretched hand.

"Alright." She let out a breath, "I'll be right back."

There was a dangerous spark in Ginny's eyes.

"Please. Don't hurry back on my account."

She blushed at the suggestive look Ginny shot her. "He's probably still out cold." She mumbled, before fastening the cloak around her and disappearing out of the Common Room.

The journey down to the Infirmary was much shorter than the one she'd taken from it. It was terrible just how familiar this routine seemed to be to her. She nearly snorted when she recalled Draco's quip from the previous term.

 _With the amount of times I've been here, I'm probably paying her damn salary._

Even if he wasn't actually paying her salary, he was definitely keeping Madam Pomfrey on her toes.

She bit her lip and took a deep breath before she slipped into the Infirmary.

His was the only bed occupied. The curtains hadn't been drawn close, so she had a clear view of him; even from the opposite side of the room.

She walked slowly up to the bed. He looked so small between the white sheets and bandages wrapped around his frame. Odd, because when he stood he towered. He was a presence no matter where he was, probably always would be.

She dropped into the free seat by his bed, watching his chest go up and down. She was entranced, soaking it all in; right down to the slight wheeze in his breath.

 _Alive._

His left hand twitched, and she held her breath as his chest broke rhythm in one labored breath.

She pulled the hood off from her head.

"Hmm..mione." he breathed, his eyes opening slowly.

"Hey." She said.

He let out another breath before he seemed to focus on her. He frowned. "D'you come out of the air?" his voice was rough and a bit slurred.

She looked down and quickly unfastened the cloak.

"Sorry." She muttered.

He laughed softly as he tried to pull himself up into a seated position. After a futile struggle, she took pity on him and gingerly lifted him up to rest on the pillows behind him.

"You can pop in and out of the air, but you still hesitated to walk through a wall." He murmured.

She laughed.

He grinned before leaning his head back and letting out another labored breath.

Her fingers went to move some of the messed strands of his hair out of his eyes.

"How you feeling?" she said still combing through his tresses.

"M'ok."

Her brow rose as she shot him an incredulous look, and he cracked a smile.

"Fuck." He laughed, "Awful."

She grinned, letting her hand drop from his hair.

"You're a lot calmer than I thought you'd be."

He snorted.

"I think it's the potions." He muttered.

She laughed, but it caught in her throat.

Gods he was alive. She'd never felt so comforted by that. It was hilarious really, and surely some deity out there was laughing at the irony, but she had never felt so bloody relieved that Draco Malfoy was alive and breathing.

His eyes shot to hers, obviously having heard the hitch in her breath.

"Christ what were you even doing in that bathroom?"

It came out accusing. She bit her lip and was about to amend it when his hand reached for hers.

"Having a completely embarrassing breakdown."

The tear fell of its own accord, and his thumb was quick to wipe it away. Her hand squeezed his.

"You could have come to me."

She'd told him that she would help him, and he'd refused so many times; not even letting her offer advice. But this. This was something he could…should share with someone.

Damn it if she wanted it to be with her.

"I should have listened to you all those times you warned me about Potter."

It wasn't a clear cut agreement. Nor was it a promise. But, she didn't really expect that from him. Though, this was his way of saying it, and she latched onto it with a fervor.

"I'm usually right." She retorted with a barely suppressed grin at her lips.

He hummed in agreement, and she found they were a lot closer now than they were a moment ago.

She honestly couldn't say how it happened, but it was just as easy as taking a breath.

His lips were soft, as he explored the dips and edges of her own. He pulled her closer, and she immediately felt them both grow more desperate. This was for all the silence. This was for all the distance. This was for all they'd almost lost.

He broke away for a moment. "Shouldn't…Not yet." He murmured against her mouth.

She nearly growled at his words, because if her brain was finally turning off than his definitely needed to shut down.

"Shut up." She breathed nipping his lip.

He must have agreed, because a second later they easily picked up right where they left off.

The bliss was short-lived.

When he shivered against her, she seemed to finally remember where exactly they were.

"You're freezing." She murmured before casting a heating charm on his sheets. She pulled away then, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

She'd just snogged the living daylights out of him.

And she'd liked it.

"Don't make it weird." He said then.

She dropped her hand and willed herself to meet his gaze.

"Thinking about it." He clarified, "thinking about it would make it weird…" His voice trailed off as his speech was interrupted by a large yawn.

The corner of her mouth tugged upward, and she let out a sigh. "Get some sleep." She murmured before pressing a chaste kiss to his temple. He muttered something to himself before falling back down onto the bed.

He gingerly stretched out to avoid agitating his wounds, and breathed something about the 'sodding beds in the Infirmary' before he immediately fell asleep.

She smiled down at him before re-adjusting his covers and collecting the cloak.

Her walk back to Gryffindor Tower was slow, and the entire time her fingers grazed her swollen lips that were still tingling. There was one thought pounding in her head.

 _He's alive._

 _He's alive._

 _He's alive._

And thank Merlin for it.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thank you for everyone who left a review, they absolutely made my day. I love hearing about what you all think about the story as well as the characterization. So all I can say is Review!Review!Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

He had been in the Infirmary for 4 days. Each night, she slipped away to meet him. He would be awake to greet her, but no matter how hard he tried to stay awake, his recuperating body demanded sleep. She was actually thankful for it. He was getting more rest like this than if he was up in the dormitory.

After the first day, she collected his homework and assignments from his classes and brought it to him to keep him busy during the day. It gave her an excuse to see him twice, even if it was for a short while.

He was healing slowly. The wounds had closed, but the bandages remained. Pomfrey seemed concerned about infection, and considering how deep they had been, an infection now might lead to sepsis. He complained about them; that they itched and were uncomfortable, but he never once tried to remove them. He understood it was for the best.

She clutched his books to her chest as she walked down the halls. When she turned the corner to the Infirmary, she nearly dropped the books at the sight that greeted her. Draco was up and dressed, gathering his books and stray pieces of parchment into a neat stack. He looked up as she entered and grinned at her.

"She's letting you go?" She asked as she came to stand beside him.

He nodded. "With stipulations of course." He snorted. He tugged at the collar of his shirt revealing the bandages still on his chest. "I have to keep them on for two more days and then either come back here and have them removed or do it myself."

"Pomfrey takes the threat of infection seriously." She mused. He stiffened for a moment before taking out his wand and shrinking his pile so that it would fit in his pocket.

"She's just going off of past experience." He murmured before turning to face her.

She frowned. Unsure how to respond to that. He didn't elaborate before finally taking notice of the books in her arms. He grimaced. "More homework."

He didn't seem daunted by the stack of books in her hands, though she caught a hint of mild annoyance in the manner in which he took them from her hand and shrunk them down like before.

"Well you did miss four days."

He didn't say anything, but dipped his head in a slight nod.

She caught the flash in his eyes, gone quickly and hard to place.

Emboldened, she stepped closer and took his face into her hands. He let out a puff of air that warmed her fingers.

"What's the matter?"

He shook his head before bending and capturing her lips. He was slow, deliberate in every movement. She allowed herself to get lost in it for a moment.

She nearly laughed at the thought. She made it seem like she had a choice.

 _She was lost anyway._

They hadn't really discussed this shift in them, but this was certainly not their first repeat of the kiss they'd shared on his first night in the Infirmary. It had progressed to a few instances of wandering hands, but that was hesitant and rare. It hurt almost as much as it was breathtaking, because they hid a message in every touch, like each time was the last before the inevitable goodbye.

He broke the kiss too soon and shot her a tight smile before he led her rather quickly out of the Infirmary.

Her mouth tugged at the urgency he had to leave the Hospital Wing. He was probably afraid Pomfrey would change her mind and keep him for longer.

She indulged him and once they were a safe distance away from the Infirmary, he slowed their pace.

"I have to go to the Owlery. I've got some letters I need to send out. I can just meet you at the dorm later." He said.

She resisted the urge to worry her bottom lip. She really didn't want him out of her sight so soon. Though, she did have an excuse to follow him up there herself.

"I actually have letters that I've been meaning to send too."

He smirked, and she saw the mirth flare in his eyes before he nodded, and they continued to the staircase. He knew exactly why she suddenly thought now was the perfect time to send out her letters, when she'd forgotten to send them every day for the past week. The smirk faded, but the mirth remained. He certainly didn't object.

* * *

When they got to the Owlery, he split away toward his own owl as she headed to select a school owl.

She fished around her school bag before she withdrew her letters, one for each of her parents sealed and signed with her curvy script. A tawny school owl flew down to her and she reached out to it attaching her letters quickly. As soon as she had finished attaching them, it took off, soaring gracefully into the air. She sighed as she watched it become nothing more than a speck in the distance.

She hoped they'd at least enjoy them. She'd spent several hours in front of empty pieces of parchment, unsure exactly what to write. Everything that she wanted to confide in them was too frightening to even put to paper.

But she wanted to confide in them, but she was frightening at the direction her own mind went when it turned to her parents.

The thoughts of them were now always accompanied by worry. As Draco's dreams had worsened, her decision on what to do with her parents had fluctuated. At first, she'd thought that convincing them to go into hiding might be an option. Now, she shivered instinctively, she had come to the conclusion that she might not be able to protect them. The only option that remained was the one that she'd wanted to avoid at all costs.

She sighed.

It didn't matter what she wanted now. Their lives were more important than her worries.

Her eyes drifted, and she found she could no longer see Draco.

Frowning, she stepped away softly toward where Draco had gone. She paused, straining her ears until she caught the sound of voices.

Should she reveal herself or…

"Didn't realize you were out of the Infirmary Malfoy."

She stopped. The voice was unfamiliar, perhaps another Slytherin? If she waited, maybe Draco would find a way to end the conversation quickly.

"Just now actually, but I had business to attend to." Draco replied coldly.

She waited for footsteps, but instead heard feet shuffling.

"Yeah. Much work to do from what I hear."

Her breath caught in her throat. Did anyone else know? She chided herself after the thought arose. There were children of Death Eaters and pureblood supporters in Slytherin. It wasn't a stretch that vague word of Draco's task had spread within the circle.

"What do you want Nicholson?" Draco asked then, his voice hard, as the temperature in the Owlery seemed to drop to match his mood.

"By the Pits?" Nicholson asked.

Draco was silent.

"Yes. Yes. By the Snake." He said irritably after a moment.

She frowned at their oaths before she shrugged and dismissed it as a Slytherin practice.

"How do you stand it?"

Draco was silent.

"How do you stand _her._ How do you stand _them?"_

"Why the interrogation Nicholson? Think you could do a better job? Do you think you are worthy of all the glory too?"

If she hadn't learned to recognize it, she would have missed the edge of sarcasm in the way the words fell from him.

She heard Draco let out a hallow laugh when Nicholson didn't respond.

"Oh I get it. Well let me give you a lesson on it." He said, once his laughter had died.

Her eyes widened, and she moved slowly forward to hear them better.

"Take out your wand." Draco ordered.

She heard Nicholson rummage around for a moment and then silence again.

"Kill my owl."

Her breath caught, and she resisted the urge to shout out in protest.

 _What was he doing?_

"Are you barmy?" Nicholson exclaimed.

"Can't you do it?" Draco said, his voice was flat, "After all it's just an animal, not worth much. In fact, there's so many of them we're nearly overrun."

Nicholson said nothing, but she was raging at Draco's callous manner.

Wait.

She took a breath as her eyes widened in understanding.

Clever. Clever. Sneaky Slytherin.

"It's just an owl Nicholson. In fact, the whole wizarding world could adopt a few choice spells as a whole, and then they'd be obsolete."

Still Nicholson was silent.

She heard one of them let out a breath.

Somehow she thought it was Draco.

"That's how it is Nicholson." He said, this time his voice a tad softer.

"By the snake Malfoy." Nicholson finally spoke.

"By the snake." Draco echoed. She heard shuffling and then slow footsteps that stopped at what she visualized as the edge of the Owlery that led back into the castle. "If you need anything Nicholson, you know where to find me."

She heard Nicholson grunt in agreement before he spoke again. "Can you kill the owl Malfoy?"

She must be imagining it, but she thought she caught a hint of sympathy in his tone.

Draco let out a breath. "That seems to be the question of the hour."

At that Nicholson must have turned to leave, because she heard footsteps resume and echo for a moment before disappearing altogether.

* * *

"Granger?" Draco called out, and she hesitantly stepped forward.

She stopped before him, and met his gaze.

"Is that how you turn them all off the idea of joining?" she tried, but she couldn't help the disapproval that laced her voice.

His jaw hardened. "No, but if that's what it takes to convince the stubborn ones…" he trailed off.

She cut him off as she took his hand in hers. She may not agree with his methods, but it produced results. Anything. Anything to tip the scales had to be done. She was slowly beginning to realize it.

"Can you kill the owl Draco?" She whispered, nearly echoing the question that had just been voiced.

He looked up quickly before immediately blinking and looking away.

"No."

The tremble in his voice shocked her. He'd never once shown her that hint of vulnerability in anything. What with his brave face and set shoulders, she could forget that this entire situation was actually suffocating them both.

"Hey." She murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck. He dropped his head and buried it in her hair, taking slow breaths that tickled her collar bone.

He pulled away after a few minutes, wiping quickly at his face before he cleared his throat.

"Who'd you write to?" he asked.

She took the hint. He didn't want to talk now. It really wasn't in her to push him to it.

"My parents." She murmured.

He straightened before drawing her up in his arms. His chin rested on the top of her head, and she couldn't help but snuggle closer into the warmth of his body.

"Are they safe?" he asked lowly.

She nodded. "I…I'm going to make sure they stay safe."

His arms tightened.

 _I'm sorry._

She tightened her own grasp in response.

 _Not your fault._

She pulled her head away to meet his eyes. She caught the storm that always seemed to rage in the background of them, but there was something else at the forefront that caught her breath. Something that made the confession so much easier to say.

"I think I need to obliviate them."

She heard his breath hitch, but his face was grim, and the answer to the question she hadn't voiced but largely implied was obvious.

He agreed with her.

"It would keep them safe. Safer than hiding them away would." He finally said.

She nodded, dropping her head to rest at his chest.

"I know. Christ I know, but." Her lip trembled, "What if something happens to them or…or to me, and they don't ever remember having me at all?"

"Hermione…"

She sobbed and tightened her hold around him.

Was this what it felt like? To mourn something you haven't yet lost, but were in danger of losing every day?

How does anyone survive it?

 _How has Draco survived it for months?_

He murmured reassurances in her ear as he let her sob against his chest. When the tears subsided, she pulled away, and he wordlessly wiped the tears away from her cheeks before cradling her face in his hands.

"But you'd rather them be alive somewhere wouldn't you?" he said.

She nodded in response.

"You'll get them back after it's all over."

"Is that a fact?" she murmured.

He shot her a half smile. "Give me the night, and I let you know in the morning."

She let out a soft laugh before her eyes caught the wet spot on his shirt.

"Oh Merlin. Your shirt. The bandages. Are you ok?" she attempted to pull away, but his arms stayed firm around her.

"I'm fine. Can't feel a thing." He said. The lie was obvious if the tightness of his jaw and the sharp intake of breath were anything to go by, but she chose not to fight it. If he didn't want to pull away, she definitely didn't. She may have gotten her one good cry in, but she was afraid that the moment his arms fell away, she'd collapse.

"Honestly, feels nice to not be the one falling apart for once."

She cracked a smile, and he granted her one in return.

"You want to go back to the dorm now?" he murmured. She nodded, and he dropped one arm away as the other went down to lace his fingers through hers.

"Come on I know shortcut." He tugged at her arm.

She followed blindly down the corridor and through a portrait and minutes they were approaching the Head's Tower.

She blinked up at him, and he smirked in response, completely smug.

"I wonder how long you've been waiting to flaunt that discovery. Makes you look half way competent." She teased.

He laughed then, dispelling a week's worth of tension. She grinned at the sight, letting her eyes roam over his face like this. She started at his eyes, blonde strands carelessly falling into them, down his nose, lingering at his lips and the dimple in his right cheek that so rarely made an appearance.

She grinned up at him as the laughter died down, and they slipped wordlessly into the dorm.

As soon as they stepped into the Common Room, she noticed him slump forward in exhaustion. He let out breath before they both fell to the couch, their hands still entwined.

"We should probably go to bed." She murmured. He leaned his head back to rest on the cushion. "Too tired." He muttered, his eyes closing, and she was inclined to agree with him. Soon, she found her own eyes closing as she was lulled to sleep by the sounds of his light breaths.

* * *

She'd never been more relaxed. Every muscle was unwound and the warmth around her was incredibly intoxicating. She sighed in contentment, while keeping her eyes firmly closed. She didn't want to wake yet.

Draco shifted around her.

The alarm bells went off in her head as his shifting grew into tremors. Her lids flickered open, and she pulled away to look up at his face. It was pinched tight and his lips moved in silent muttering. He suddenly turned and pulled abruptly away from her.

"Draco." She shook him. He groaned in response. She shook him harder and was relieved when he opened his eyes.

He let out a puff of air before rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Bad dream." She murmured taking a hand and rubbing in between his shoulder blades. He nodded meekly before relaxing under her touch. She glanced up at the clock in the room and blinked in surprise.

"We missed dinner." He commented following her line of sight. She stood, but was surprised when Draco's arms reached around her hips and pulled her close, keeping his head buried in her stomach. "Just a minute." He said softly against her shirt, "Stay like this for a minute."

She bit her lip and dropped her arms to rest around his head as he took short calming breaths with his head still against her middle. When he was finally calmed, he pulled away. "Ok?" She murmured. He nodded in response with a small half smile on his lips that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What was it?" she asked before she could stop herself.

His face hardened as he sat back into the couch, eyes focused on anywhere but her.

She'd already broke the dam, might as well face the flood.

She threw her caution away and plowed onward, acting on instinct.

"Was I in it?"

His shoulders stiffened, and really that was more of an answer than if he'd actually spoken. She bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn't push. What good would it do to know? Paths changed, the future was still fluid. Each decision could alter the path, and her mind went to the stories she often read where the characters acted in desperation, resulting in them falling into the trap of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Let's just forget it then." She continued, adopting a false cheery demeanor as she walked off into the kitchen in search of something to eat.

She didn't look back, but wasn't the least bit surprised when he joined her a moment later, still guarded but slightly more at ease.

There were plates in the icebox, and a quick touch revealed heating charms on them. Probably from the elves.

They ate in silence, until pounding at the door snapped them both to attention.

Draco stood in one fluid motion and was off to answer before she could even speak. It was a bit funny, the pampered prince answering doors and what not. Seemed domestic.

* * *

She got to her feet and peered down the steps to the entrance. The door was swung open with Draco leaning on the side, arms crossed as he scowled at the group right outside their dorm.

Pansy was holding bottles in her hand as Theo and Draco seemed to be arguing. Blaise was standing off to the side, but his head snapped toward her as she began to come down the steps.

 _What's going on?_ She mouthed.

Blaise smirked but shook his head.

"I really don't think a couple of shots of firewhiskey is going to cut it." Draco argued.

"Mate, you used to know how to have fun. Just let go for tonight." Theo shot back.

"What's going on?" She joined in beside Draco at the entrance.

"Heard Draco was out of the Infirmary, and we thought we'd come over and have some fun. Brighten the mood and all" At this Theo pointedly looked at Draco as Pansy held the firewhiskey bottles higher from behind and waved them around, as though to entice him. The look Theo shot gave her the impression that he knew exactly why the mood needed to be brightened. Had Nicholson recounted their meeting to others in their House?

She shook her head to dispel the thought and found herself focused on studying each of the three Slytherins at her door.

She frowned at the alcohol, wondering how on earth the three had even managed to sneak them into the castle, let alone walk to their dorm with it out in the open.

"We're not talking about a repeat of old Common Room nights." Blaise said, speaking for the first time.

"Or Monte Carlo." Theo quipped up then.

Draco shot him a look, with a slight flush in his cheeks.

Amused, she wondered if she should ask what exactly had happened at Monte Carlo.

Draco turned from the three to her slowly. "I don't know if it's such a good idea."

She shook her head, slightly torn. On the one hand, the Head Girl in her wanted to confiscate the firewhiskey and send the three Slytherins on their way. On the other, she paused to study Draco, they could probably both use a bit of unwinding.

"I don't see why not. As long as we're not throwing a free for all in the dorm." She said.

The look on each of the Slytherin's faces was practically priceless.

Pansy was staring at her as though she'd miraculously grown a second head. Theo was gaping like a fish. Draco, for once, was stunned in shock.

 _Good. He always seems too confident in his assumptions. He could use some shaking up._

Blaise; however, was the only one seemingly unaffected. He shot her a smirk before pushing passed everyone and bounding up the steps to the Common Room.

"Well come on then. If Theo's offering his drinks, I, for one, am taking advantage." He called over his shoulder.

Theo blinked for a moment before a victorious grin spread across his face as they all filed into their dorm room.

"You have no idea what you just agreed to." Draco mumbled walking up the steps behind her.

"It could be fun." She said shrugging her shoulders. She was willing to roll with it, if it meant a momentary break from the stressful and somber atmosphere they were constantly stuck in.

He shook his head, but summoned a set of glasses for the drinks without protest.

They were about to settle in when another knock sounded at the door. Hermione glanced at the three. "You didn't tell anyone else to come up did you?" Hermione asked. At the shake of their heads, she walked down the steps and eased the door open.

"Gin" she blinked at the redhead standing before her.

"Hey Hermione." Ginny smiled, "I just came to check on you. You missed dinner."

She was about to speak, but Ginny plowed on.

"I had to talk Ron and Harry out of coming up themselves after I remembered that I'd heard Malfoy was released today, and I figured that…"

"Ginny." She hissed, suddenly recognizing the gleam in Ginny's eyes as well as how loud they were currently speaking. Her eyes shot up the steps in the direction of the Common Room, wondering if they'd heard anything.

Ginny blinked before pushing passed Hermione to crane her neck up to the inside of the dorm.

"What, is he listening?" Ginny said, clearly unabashed with obvious glee on her face.

She felt her cheeks flame.

"Gin." She took a deep breath to calm herself, before dropping her voice low, "He and some of his friends are sitting in our Common Room."

Ginny's eyes widened in understanding, before they filled with confusion. "Wait, why?"

She explained the scene that had just unfolded, and by the time they were done that dangerous gleam was back in Ginny's eyes.

"Drinking with Slytherins, how scandalous. Hermione Jean Granger, I am surprised at you." She declared before pushing passed her to head up to the Common Room.

"Ginny." She hissed quickly following the redhead, catching her by the arm right before they reached the top of the steps. "What are you doing?"

Ginny shot her a look. "If you think I'm missing this, you are insane."

At that Ginny pulled away from her grasp and walked confidently into the Common Room.

She stifled a groan, hoping against all odds that war wouldn't break out right in the middle of the Common Room. She shook her head.

That drink might be a Godsend at this point.

"Welcome back." Draco drawled as the two Gryffindors lingered in front of the Slytherins. Drinks had already been poured, and the addition of a sixth glass caught her by surprise. Draco shot her a look, and his eyes drifted to Ginny.

"I'm not sure what I should call you. Weasley just reminds me of your brother." He finally said.

"My name is Ginny." She shot back.

A smirk spread on Draco's face. "And are you going to call me Draco or just Malfoy?"

"Fair point." Ginny said with a slow smile as Theo burst into laughter and downed a shot.

"This is going to be fun." He snickered.

* * *

She vetoed the idea of truth or dare. No way was she inviting that kind of trouble to her dorm room. They were already a volatile bunch, no matter what unspoken temporary truce had settled between them, or at least between Pansy, Ginny, and herself.

In the end, they all agreed to Never have I ever.

They cycled through safe questions. Never have I ever been in the Hufflepuff's Common Room, so on and so on.

Things got heated on Theo's next turn when he belted out, "Never have I ever kissed anyone here."

She tried to resist taking the shot, but something compelled her, and she soon had her drink in her hand and the whiskey sliding down her throat. She looked up and watched as Pansy took her shot with a thin smile on her lips. Draco next. Then, to her everlasting surprise, Theo and Blaise both took shots.

"Wait, you've all kissed Pansy!" Ginny exclaimed.

She had to cringe at her friend's outburst, but in truth, she was just as curious.

Pansy straightened and flipped her hair back, and with a Cheshire grin spoke. "No. I've never kissed Theo in my life."

Ginny met her gaze, and they both frowned as they watched Theo and Blaise both holding back laughter. Her eyes then drifted toward Draco, who looked both furious and horrified, if the slight blush at his cheeks was anything to go by.

"It was spin the bottle." He bit out, "It doesn't count."

At that the three Slytherins broke out in a fit of laughter.

"But Draco it was such a good kiss." Theo snickered.

"You should feel honored mate. Everyone wanted a piece of you that evening. 'Best Bloody Kisser there' if I remember right." Blaise quipped in between fits of laughter.

Hermione bit her tongue to keep from joining in as she alternated between looking at the Slytherins and Draco.

Ginny; however, was not so thoughtful, because she immediately joined in clutching her side and gasping for breath.

"Theo." Draco snapped, "You remember that hex I gave you afterwards."

Theo immediately quieted.

"Think how much worse it would be now that I can properly cast it." Draco said through clenched teeth.

Theo visibly paled, while Pansy and Blaise continued to laugh silently.

Ginny reached over and whispered in her ear. "This is hysterical." Hermione's lips quirked up into a smile. She couldn't agree more.

* * *

With the tension officially broken, the game seemed to take on a more hilarious and unbound edge.

The Slytherins had surprised her. They seemed to joke and poke fun at each other with ease. It also seemed to be an unspoken agreement to rile Draco up as much as possible.

 _"Never have I ever had such an abnormal obsession with a person that it led to my parents questioning my sexuality." Pansy had said in between giggles._

Draco had seethed and threatened to throw them all out. He probably would have, if she hadn't stepped in.

"Ok. Ok." Ginny gasped after her fit of laughter had abated, "My turn."

Ginny held her head to the side as she thought. After a moment, she straightened with a smirk that put all the Slytherins to shame.

"Never have I ever faked a serious injury or illness." She said before taking her own shot.

They waited and after a moment Theo took a shot, with a sheepish expression on his face.

"What'd you fake Theo?" Ginny asked.

Pansy snickered. "You mean what did he blow out of proportion."

Theo shot her an irritated look before turning back to Ginny. "Food poisoning."

Pansy's snickers grew louder as both Blaise and Draco cracked grins.

"Is that all it was?" Pansy gasped, "You seemed convinced you were dying. You even asked Draco to draft a will!"

At that Blaise and Draco broke and laughter filled the Common Room again, as Theo attempted, in vain, to defend himself.

Hermione grinned before a thought popped into her head. She turned to Draco. "Wait. How come you didn't take a shot? What about the hippogriff in third year?"

The Slytherins quieted.

Draco pulled at his collar after a moment. "I wasn't faking it. That beast did attack me."

"But you wore that sling for months." Ginny quipped.

Draco shifted uncomfortably in his seat before straightening. "The wounds wouldn't close. Kept getting infected." He finally said.

Hermione stilled.

Was that why Pomfrey had insisted he keep the bandages on for his most recent injury?

The tension that had been dispelled earlier was now thick again, as Draco seemed to withdraw into himself.

It was saved from completely becoming awkward, when Blaise immediately took his turn in order to drift attention away from the blond.

They played a few more rounds, and by the time the firewhiskey ran out, they were back to laughing and joking around. Ginny had left, whispering that maybe not all Slytherins were bad, while Pansy, Theo, and Blaise seemed likely to admit the same about Gryffindors. Though, they didn't exactly say so in as many words.

* * *

When everyone finally left to head to their own dorms, she remained with Draco out on the couch in their Common Room. The firewhiskey bottles and glasses had all been vanished, so that the only evidence that the evening had even occurred was the slight buzzing in her ears.

"Well it wasn't all bad." Draco mused, as he rose from his seat. "I mean who would have thought the goody two shoes of Gryffindor had lied to a teacher."

Hermione smiled slightly as she rose as well, and they both slowly headed down the hall.

"Sometimes the rules need to be bent to get the results you want."

Draco nodded, the smile still on his face.

"I suppose so." He said with just a hint of melancholy in his voice.

She licked her lips as they lingered in front of the door to his bedroom. He let out a breath before leaning down and planting his lips on top of hers. Her knees weakened and her arms wrapped around his neck as though she was in danger of toppling to the floor at any moment.

"Thank you," He breathed an inch from her mouth, "for making it fun."

"Wasn't all me." She whispered.

He chuckled lowly before pulling away and opening his door.

"Draco."

He half turned.

Maybe she shouldn't ask, but the firewhiskey had taken away most of her apprehensions.

"What does 'By the Snake' mean?"

She'd been turning it over and over in her head since Nicholson had said it. Why did it seem to carry such weight?

He cocked his head to the side.

"It's a vow we started in the Common Room." He pursed his lips, "By the Snake Pit."

She nodded. Thinking he wasn't going to elaborate, she turned to head to her own bedroom when his voice stopped her.

"We swear it to let the other know that what we're saying is genuine."

With that he opened his door and disappeared into his room, leaving her to wonder if he was trying to explain something she wasn't meant to understand.

 _It wouldn't be the first time._

She opened her bedroom door and slipped in.

 _Or the last._


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: We're nearing the halfway mark for this story, and the end of part I! I tried to split this chapter into two, but I couldn't find a good place to do it so enjoy the longer than usual update. As always reviews=love.

* * *

As promised, the bandages came off two days later. Nearly immediately after, he'd disappeared leaving her a book on memory charms that she'd never heard of and a few notes he'd added to give her a fail safe; a way to reverse the charm when she was ready too.

She never got a chance to thank him.

For the weeks after that, he practically lived in the Room of Requirement. It beat him down, every time he failed to fix the cabinet and every threat he received as a result.

She tried to reassure him that he had time, but the desperation resulted in accidents. First Katie, then Ron.

They'd rowed after Ron was hospitalized, and she didn't speak to him for two weeks. The silence was only broken two days ago when he'd woken her up because of a nightmare.

She'd been startled awake by the sound of a scream. With the echo of it still ringing in her ear, she rose slowly from her bed, unsure if she should go to him. Apparently, he'd decided for her, because it was seconds after her thoughts that he'd come and begun pounding at her door hysterically calling out her name.

She remembered that as soon as she opened the door, he'd drawn her into his arms and looked her over quickly, mumbling 'you're ok. You're ok.' Along with a slew of apologies. He didn't seem completely aware that the nightmare was over, because his hysterics didn't calm. He'd collapsed against her, his thin body wracked with sobs that shook his entire frame.

When he'd finally quieted enough, she'd moved him back to his bed. The next morning, when she'd moved to ask him what it had been about, he didn't seem to remember the entire event, though he had reiterated the apology.

It was for the best. She wished she could forget it.

 _She'd never seen him more scared._

* * *

Her eyes refocused on her own ceiling, finally accepting that sleep would not come.

She took a breath as she rubbed her temples, forcefully trying to banish her thoughts. For Merlin's sake it was nearly three in the morning, she needed to relax, but lately her sleep cycle had gotten nearly as erratic as Draco's. Seeing the light flooding through the cracks of her door, she pushed herself out of bed.

She was surprised to see him still dressed in pajamas. He never liked to be anything less than immaculate, and it left room to wonder if that was through careful teaching or personal choice. Either way, she relished seeing him so mussed. His hair was slightly ruffled, and his thin white sleeping shirt was loosely hanging off him. He looked completely out of his element. It felt like a private moment that she shouldn't be privy too, but miraculously somehow was.

Crookshanks was lounging next to him, and the blond seemed to be absently petting her cat. She checked him for any signs that his latent allergy was peeking through, relieved when she found none. It had seemed worse lately, especially with the turn of the seasons that had led to spring, with all its warmth and pollen filled glory, finally making an appearance after a brutal winter. It was like he was popping her allergy tablets like tic tacks. He'd started taking the Immune Strengthening Potion regularly now too, as a precaution, even if he was sure he could catch when magical exhaustion was beginning to overwhelm his core.

She was at least grateful he'd conceded to the arrangement so quickly.

He still hadn't noticed her. Either that or he was ignoring her in favor of whatever recesses his mind had turned to. She wondered if he'd fallen too deep into it while in the dark confines as his room as she had. It would account for his current appearance; undone.

"Hey." She said softly.

He looked up, and stopped petting Crooks. "Did I wake you?" He shot her a weak smile that gave her the impression that he was apologizing for some folly she wasn't aware of.

"Don't you even try to sleep?"

He shot her a look. She rolled her eyes. "I was being optimistic."

"I gathered." He nodded, dusting his sleeping pants before standing.

His shirt rode slightly, as he stretched, and she caught sight of the Sectumsempra scars. She didn't even think before she reached out and traced the end of one at his abdomen. He was still beneath her touch, but not rigid.

"I still can't believe he gave these to you."

He murmured an agreement before clearing his throat. "I suppose he thought he was defending himself. He thought I was casting the Cruciatus."

"You knew Harry wouldn't be able to see through the hallucination. You shouldn't have done it." She admonished, though she knew despite her words that it didn't excuse the fact that Harry had hurled an unknown and dangerous curse when put under pressure. Her fingers continued to wander for another moment before she withdrew her hand.

She caught his gaze and saw a haunted look in them.

"What happened?"

He shook his head slightly before playfully ruffling her hair.

She sighed, the irritation clear in the action.

He didn't want to talk about it yet.

"Let's have one normal conversation for once."

He had a thin smirk on his face, though his eyes were pleading.

That's what probably got her to cave as fast as she did. This tactic of avoiding issues and burying the scars brought forth from his situation and the visions wasn't healthy. She wanted him to come to the realization himself. That it was ok to need help or acknowledge feelings. Now though, she was convinced she would have to pry them out of him, if only for his own good.

She cast another look at him.

 _Just not right now._

"Fine." She huffed. She turned to the kitchen. "Hot chocolate ok?"

He made a noise of agreement, but stayed in the Common Room. She heard him shuffle around, and the unmistakable sound of pages being turned.

She finished the two mugs and rejoined him.

He was browsing through his Shakespeare book, stopping every few pages to trace certain words on the page. Regret and remorse seemed to be flitting across his face at every passage.

She wondered what was going through his mind then and whether the book offered him comfort or memories about what he's undoubtedly been thinking about.

 _Or if he simply missed his mother._

She handed him the mug and settled across from him on the opposite sofa. He shut the book and took a generous sip from his hot chocolate. He gazed at her expectedly.

"What?" She said after a moment.

"Usually you're the one asking questions, so I'm waiting for you."

She snorted, and was happy when he rewarded her with a small smile.

She hummed, taking a sip from her mug.

"Well, I never managed to look into magical cores after you mentioned it that one time." She said.

His brow rose. "You really haven't researched it?"

She blushed. "A little," she admitted, "But the research around it is very vague. I think I need more background information."

He laughed lightly, running a hand through his hair.

"Well I don't know much."

"More than I do."

"Fair point." He chuckled before an amused expression settled on his face, "This might be one of the few things I actually know more about than you."

She shoved him playfully, but the grin remained firm on his face.

He took another sip from his mug as he seemed to consider how best to answer her question.

"Well, your core is part of your body. It acts on every one of your body's functions. With immunity, your magic boosts your immune system, covers all the things that the human immune system doesn't. That's why wizards and witches don't really suffer from many muggle maladies. They only target the purely human side of the immune system. Viruses and other maladies have to be particularly nasty to make a dent into a magical immune system."

He looked over at her to check if she was following along.

"Makes sense." She said, and he nodded before continuing.

"Genetically influenced things like disease or allergies manifest based on how severe they are." He frowned for a moment, "The only time mild allergies are particularly worrisome are during childhood. Their magical core is still developing, so it can't compensate yet."

He paused to take another sip from his mug.

She frowned, considering everything he'd told her. It all seemed to make sense logically.

"So how do healers and parents approach that? If you aren't sure, you could accidently feed your child something that they're allergic to without even realizing the danger." She asked, reasoning out loud some of the concerns that had immediately popped into her head.

He shrugged. "Our family healer did a diagnostic. At least that's what I vaguely remember."

She smiled at the image of a little blonde child, squirming under the scrutiny of a doctor. She wondered what he must have been like that young; free from worry and the shackles of responsibility.

"So how long before the core is developed?"

Draco shrugged. "I'm not sure. I just know that my mother wouldn't even entertain the notion of me going to Millie's house until I was 5 or 6."

"Because of her cat?" She said.

The corners of his lip stretched into a thin grin as he dipped his head in a slight nod.

"She was a bit over protective."

She grinned, snuggling into the couch.

"It's all actually very interesting. I never really thought to consider how magic could change how the body function."

He shrugged again, the amusement clear in his eyes. "I suppose if you didn't grow up with it, then it would be."

She grew quiet at his words. They definitely had grown up in different worlds. There was so much about this world that she had left to discover.

"Hermione, I didn't mean to…" Draco began.

"No." she interrupted him, "No I'm not offended. I was just thinking about how much I still have to learn about the wizarding world."

He nodded, though he didn't seem convinced. "And you will." He said firmly.

She sensed a shift in their conversation. The temptation to fall back into the darker topics that plagued them was too much.

"Do you ever see it?" she cleared her throat, "the end of the war?"

He looked in pain at her words. She wanted to tell him to forget it. It didn't matter. That it was better she didn't know.

"No." he finally said, "but that can mean anything."

She nodded. He sat back, his eyes drifting around the room. She caught him wince, and his hand went to the side of his head.

He met her gaze. Within a second, the understanding was clear. His hand tugged at the strands of blond that brushed his neck.

"I suppose you want to talk about…" he trailed off gesturing with his hand in the air.

She answered with a nod. She hoped he wouldn't reject her inquiry; that maybe he might let her in just a bit.

"Nightmare." He breathed, "A nightmare that turned into a vision."

She leaned closer. His willingness was surprising, but most definitely welcome. For his sanity, he had to let some of it out.

"About?" she pressed.

"His snake."

She stilled. "His snake?"

He seemed to mistake her repetition for belittling his admission. He scoffed.

"In my life, being fed to that mutant is a very real possibility. I don't think it's strange that I would have a nightmare about it." He defended. She hid a smile before her thoughts pushed it to fall from her face. It was a real possibility that anyone in that monster's vicinity would die being eaten by it. Though the look of indigent irritation on his face had allowed her a glimpse into a different Draco. The one in her memories who scoffed and fought and just seemed full of life. Not the one who was run down with the weight of the world.

"I believe it." She said softly, hoping to offer some semblance of solidarity to him.

He studied her a moment. The recognition showed in the slump of his shoulders. He sighed, before continuing. "After the dream, I…I saw it die."

She furrowed her brows. "How did it die?" Context mattered, and this seemed too important for it to not mean anything. In fact, she and Harry had discussed at length the possibility that Nagini was more than what she seemed, and even if that wasn't true, Voldemort would never let his pet just die…unless he did it himself.

His eyes grew unfocused. "It just died Granger." He was firm, but his voice seemed hoarse.

He tugged at his hair again. "Why is it so hard to just talk to you?" he murmured, clamping his eyes shut. He covered his face in his hands. She stood slowly to kneel in front of him. She unhooked one of his hands and threaded her fingers through his. She squeezed, letting her words speak through her actions.

 _I won't ask any more questions. Please don't shut me out._

He let out a breath.

"I have a week to," his breath hitched, "to do it all."

She lay her other hand over their entwined fingers. His grip tightened, but he didn't meet her eyes.

"You've already planned." She said softly, "Snape is still…"

He nodded.

"The cabinet?"

He lifted his head slightly, his light hair falling over his eyes. He let his gaze meet hers and let out another labored breath.

"Tonight." He bit the inside of his cheek, "I'm going to fix it tonight."

* * *

He left after they'd finished their mugs. She'd been back in her room for thirty minutes before she heard the telltale sound of a door opening and closing. Never footsteps though. Not once, in all the times that he'd snuck away had she ever heard his footsteps.

She'd woken a few hours after that. He hadn't been in his room, but the discarded potion vial and empty foil of her muggle allergy medicine in the kitchen rubbish bin set her slightly at ease.

She'd then had a quick breakfast in the Great Hall before delivering several excuses that she needed to study for upcoming exams, retreating from Ginny's watchful eye to settle in the Library. It wasn't a complete lie. Her excuse was valid. She had every intent of studying until she had to go to Double Transfiguration later.

Harry and Ron had joined her later, both sufficiently behind in their work that they could no longer ignore it. After about an hour, Harry announced that he had lessons with Dumbledore scheduled for the rest of the day. Ron, to his credit, lasted a half hour after that before saying he was off to find Finnegan and Thomas.

She sighed, tugging at a loose curl before shutting her book. The clock told her she still had quite a bit of time before Transfiguration. She looked back down at her book. Perhaps she needed a change of scenery. Her Transfiguration classroom would probably be empty now. Within a minute, she'd packed up all her books and headed to the tower.

When she entered the classroom, she found it wasn't as abandoned as she thought it would be. She paused at the front of the room and allowed a smile to blossom across her face. Draco was hunched over a desk in the back, his head resting on his crossed arms, fast asleep. She stepped closer, taking care to leave her bag and books at her usually table.

He looked so exhausted, even as he slept. Though, the edges of his face were smooth in sleep gripped relaxation. Odd, with his features free of tension and coupled with his ethereal pale coloring, he looked angelic.

 _An angel surrounded by darkness._

Yet, one word out of his mouth, and the thoughts angelic and Draco Malfoy seemed incompatible.

She snorted, before immediately clasping her hand over her mouth.

He stirred, shifting his face down, before lifting it slightly. He blinked slowly. "Granger?" He said, letting out a puff of air. A thin smile formed on his face as his eyelids dropped, and he yawned.

The corners of her mouth tugged upward. He moved his arm up and rested his head in hand, eyes still closed. She took him in; the sleep lines still pressed into his cheeks and the slightly disheveled hair. Her heart clenched. He really hadn't ever looked as peaceful…as beautiful as he did then.

"Hey Granger." He said again, this time considerably more awake.

"You look rested." She teased.

He lifted the lid of his left eye, and grinned. He rubbed the sleep off his face before opening both his eyes. "I had a good dream." He murmured.

She tried not grimace at the awe in his voice as he spoke those words.

 _Good dreams._

Like he didn't think himself capable of having them.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. There's still time before my class starts, or I can help you get to the dorm." She said softly. She hoped he'd agree, maybe then he'd actually get something close to the normal hours of sleep his body required.

He shook his head.

"I don't think I'll be able to get any more sleep right now." He said, stretching his arms behind him. She dropped her eyes, and tried to ignore some of the sentiments that lay thick between his words. Instead, she leaned over and glanced at the book that had served as his pillow. It was a notebook of sorts, stray notes and on the opposite page she saw several doodles, many of them lifelike drawings of the towers of the castle.

He pulled the book closed, clearing his throat. "I didn't know you drew." She murmured.

He shrugged. "They're just sketches."

 _Beautiful Sketches._

She nodded absently, wringing her fingers through each other. "Did you…"

"Yes." He stood quickly, gathering his books.

"Draco, what are you…"

She heard voices outside the classroom. Draco paused from gathering his things, before relaxing slightly. He continued to gather his books slowly, and didn't seem the least surprised when Blaise and Theo stepped into the room.

The two Slytherins stopped at the front of the room. Theo's mouth dropped slightly.

"This isn't your class Dray." Theo finally spoke.

"Not yours either Theo." Draco retorted slinging his bag on his shoulder. The other looked ready to retort, when Blaise grasped him by the shoulder.

Blaise cleared his throat.

"You disappeared very quickly after you dropped," Blaise licked his lips, "some very damning information last night."

Draco scowled, before wincing. His hand went unconsciously to his temple. His eyes closed for a moment, and she heard him let out a shaky breath. When he opened them again, he stepped away from them all; ready to make a hasty retreat.

She resisted the urge to reach out to him, and instead called out, "Draco."

He snapped his head toward her. He seemed to debate something before turning to his two housemates. "Just…Just please." His eyes fixed on Theo, "Please think about what I said." Then he turned and briskly walked out of the classroom.

She sighed, suddenly feeling very tired.

"What were you two doing?" Theo finally asked.

"Nothing." She chewed her lip, "I got here early, and he was asleep in the back."

Theo looked guilty.

"What did he say to you?" She looked from Theo to Blaise. Both held blank expressions on their faces.

"He gave us a warning." Blaise finally spoke, just as students began to file in for class, "And he didn't like our response."

Class seemed to start quickly after that. Theo stayed, needing to complete an assignment from earlier this week that he'd missed. Harry hadn't showed, leaving her to partner with Ron. They worked in silence, moving through the motions. Really, the whole class was quiet, as though everyone was finally feeling the dark grasp that had clenched itself around the castle.

* * *

She sighed, leaving quickly once class had ended to return to her room before dinner. She paused near the hall to the library. She needed extra sources for the Transfiguration paper that was due soon, one quick stop, and then she'd see if Draco was holed up in their dorm.

Determined, she turned down the corner.

She quickly found the book and made to leave when she felt someone join her amongst the shelves.

"Hello Hermione."

She let out a breath.

"Luna."

The blonde girl smiled and walked airily over to her. "I haven't seen you in a while Hermione. You look well. Much better than the beginning of the year."

She cocked her head. "Though now you have them too. Before it was only Draco."

Hermione shook her head wearily. "What them's Luna?" She felt tired, and she honestly didn't think she had it in her to deal with any of Luna's ramblings.

"The morsfilles. They sense pain and sadness you know."

She rubbed her eyes.

"He's just stressed." She said feebly.

 _And in pain. Probably constantly._

Luna gave her a look. "And are you also stressed?" She looked thoughtful. "Or are you sharing his?"

Her eyes widened, but when she looked up to retort Luna had already turned and was leaving.

She huffed, clutching her book before rushing out of the library and toward her dorm. Was she so obvious with her emotions, or was Luna too observant for her own good? She shook her head intent to ignore Luna's inquiries.

 _It's not like it mattered. It's not like it wasn't true._

* * *

Her walk to the Head Tower was quick, and the exhaustion was quick to crash on top of her as she walked slowly up the steps. Her brain was filled with scenarios and concerns ranging from homework to... well she didn't really want to think of that right now.

She stepped into the Common Room, but immediately stilled when she saw Draco was curled into their couch with his eyes closed. She quieted her footsteps and placed her books onto the table. There was a cup of tea in front of him, and a quick touch confirmed it was still slightly warm. He hadn't been asleep for long.

She took the book that he'd been looking through carefully from his hand. She summoned a blanket and wrapped him in it and left him to sleep. He must be completely knackered to fall asleep twice unaided and out in the open.

A smile pulled at her lips as she watched him unconsciously nestle deeper into the couch, pulling the blanket tighter around him. She sighed and gazed at the Transfiguration book she'd picked up. The need to suddenly finish her essay was gone. Her eyes drifted to the kitchen. She needed a distraction. Visions of cinnamon rolls clouded her thoughts. She would bake.

With that settled, she turned into the kitchen and began pulling out pots and pans, taking care not to make too much noise.

She was so caught up in her work that she almost didn't hear the knock at their door. She turned away from the oven and paused at the top of the stairs. The knock sounded again. She opened the door and found Theo leaning casually on the statue.

He immediately straightened when he saw her. She put a finger to her lips to signal him to be quiet. "He's asleep." She murmured.

Some emotion flitted across his face, before he schooled himself into a neutral expression.

"I actually came to speak to you."

She blinked, momentarily stunned. When she didn't speak for a minute, Theo cleared his throat.

"May I come in?"

She nodded dumbly and reminded him to be quiet as they climbed up to the dormitory. His gaze immediately landed on Draco, and she saw the fondness for his friend in his eyes.

"We can sit in the kitchen."

He nodded, following her silently. She took her wand and cast a silencing spell and turned back to Theo expectantly.

He cleared his throat, suddenly looking incredibly uncomfortable. She stifled a laugh at the sight. It was clear from the way Theo was fighting to remain composed that he was unsure how to act. The stiff posture and set jaw reminded her of the other boy in the dorm. Obviously, their upbringings were similar. No one could deny that the Nott's were just as aristocratic as the Malfoy's.

He finally took a breath.

"He's alright, isn't he?"

She blinked. Before she could speak, he continued.

"I mean not alright. With everything going on I don't suppose he is, but…"

"Theo." She interrupted him, "What are…"

"I know everything." He finally said, crossing his arms, "I know everything, and I know you do too."

Her heart hammered at the words, and she turned away pretending to check on her rolls in the oven. Theo may know about Draco's duties, but she doubted he'd heard of his visions. As far as she knew, the people who held that secret were still Dumbledore, Snape, Blaise, and herself. She took a breath before turning back to face him.

"The stress of it all is consuming him." She finally whispered.

He nodded, not surprised at her words. "I know. I mean how could I not notice." He rambled, "Especially after last night…"

"What happened last night?" she interrupted.

Theo shifted uncomfortably.

"He snapped. He just, at some ungodly hour, mind you…waltzed into the common room, and I was just asking if he wanted anything before I went back to bed like a sane human being when he just went off."

She felt the blood rush from her face.

"What did he do?"

Theo sighed. "Nothing too drastic. Broke some glass. He seemed to calm a bit after that." He snorted.

He bit his lip, not meeting her gaze.

He cleared his throat. "You know, I used to be jealous of Draco."

She frowned at the change of subject, though her mind went back to Blaise. He'd adopted a similar strategy before, talking around the subject before making his point. It seemed to be a shared Slytherin characteristic.

She bit her tongue. She'd hear it out, if only to know how it ended. With a slight dip of her nod, she encouraged Theo to continue.

"We grew up together you know. Practically brothers in all but name." He scratched the back of his neck then. "I wasn't jealous of his life. Merlin knows I would never want Lucius Malfoy to be my father, but Draco always seemed to have it figured out. He was smart. He knew how to get girls before the rest of us. He was talented. People noticed him."

Theo pursed his lips. "I could see through it easy enough; his little façade that I think even you've managed to breach, but it didn't make the jealousy go away."

She let out a breath. "But what did?"

Theo looked away, but not before she caught a glimpse of pain flash in his eyes.

"I would never want to do or see half the things he's had to these last few years."

She stilled. The implication was completely clear.

"So it's harder for me, seeing everything I've seen too, to just accept what he was going on about yesterday." Theo continued, seemingly in a rant.

She walked closer and put her hand on Theo's arm, and was pleased when he didn't shift from beneath her grasp.

"What did he say Theo?"

He bit his lip.

"He told us to leave."

She dropped her hand.

"He doesn't like where all this is going, and I, for one, know it's going to get worse when he." His voice broke, and she watched as he struggled to pull the mask back on. "He told us to disappear or run to the continent."

"You couldn't do it." She whispered.

He nodded absently.

"Fuck. I wish I could. I couldn't give a damn about my father and his idiot ideals, but I can't leave Draco to face this shit alone. I know how it's going to be when he can't go through with it, and they debate whether to kill him or keep him around."

She stiffened at Theo's callous remarks.

"They'd kill him?" She suddenly felt faint. Her chest had tightened, and air refused to get into her lungs.

Never once had she considered the possibility that he'd be executed for his failings. Though, now that Theo had spoken it, she realized it could all to easily become a reality. Was that why Voldemort had burdened him with such an impossible task? So that if he failed he could be punished in a manner that would serve as a demonstration to both his family and the rest of his supporters?

Her stomach churned, and she was in great danger of spilling her lunch all over the kitchen floor.

Theo stepped closer to her.

"Well to be fair, they might just do it because he's such a dick when it comes to authority."

She looked up to see Theo smiling weakly down at her. She felt grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood. Though, she couldn't really appreciate it, not with her stomach alternating between knots and summersaults.

"Draco's been there for me, and I just." He took a breath, continuing, "I think he'd listen to you if you told him to keep safe."

She bit her lip and turned away as the oven timer chose just then to go off. She opened the oven and carefully extracted her rolls before turning to the icebox to get out the icing.

She paused her quick movements to look back to Theo. He was regarding her with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

"Why do you think he'd listen to me?" she finally asked.

"Because you're not one of us." He said, "You're outside of it, and you're smart Granger. He respects that."

He cocked his head at her.

"And I think the two of you have reached some sort of agreement that lends itself perfectly in this situation."

She couldn't help the slight blush from spreading across her face.

She turned away and made a show of pulling a spreading knife to begin icing the cinnamon rolls.

"You're a good friend Theo."

He waved her off.

"Please, I just want the honor of offing Drake myself. Especially since he keeps nicking all my firewhiskey. Honestly, he can afford to buy his own."

She cracked a genuine smile, pleased that at least some lightheartedness could manage to sneak its way into their conversation.

He looked at her then, the curiosity back on his face.

"You remind me of…" he began before a thud sounded from the Common Room.

"Fuck."

They both heard.

Hermione grinned as they both peeked from the kitchen to find Draco stumbling to get off the floor, tripping on the blanket that was still tangled at his feet.

He straightened, feeling their gaze on him. He turned to step, but wound up tripping and falling back onto the couch.

"Fuck." He growled again.

She laughed, unable to contain it. He was normally so graceful and composed, and now he seemed to be flailing; his movements anything but elegant. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a smirk on Theo's face.

Theo cleared his throat. "Do you need some help mate?"

Draco grumbled something unintelligible, and proceeded to extract himself from the blanket. He sighed when he was done, tossing the cover to the side and rubbing the remaining sleep from his face.

He took a breath and opened his eyes to look at them.

Her breath caught in her throat. His eyes drifted from her, but it wasn't quick enough for her to not catch the apparent turmoil in them. He must have seen something.

He scowled at Theo before picking off pieces of imaginary lint off his uniform.

"What are you doing here Nott?" he said.

Theo draped his arm around her shoulders. "I was just," he paused, " _chatting_ with Granger here."

"I see." Draco said before standing and walking toward them.

She shoved Theo. "Actually, Theo was just telling me about the interesting night, or rather early morning, you had in the Slytherin dorms." She crossed her arms.

Draco blinked before glaring at Theo. He didn't speak as he pushed passed them into the kitchen, pausing to look at the half iced cinnamon rolls on the counter.

"Well." Theo cleared his throat, "You two have a lot to catch up on. Granger. Draco." He turned quickly to escape.

"Nott." Draco said turning away from the cabinet he was rummaging through. They stared each other down for a moment before Theo flinched and turned away.

"Only looking out for you mate." He muttered before continuing his exit.

When the door clicked shut, Draco grabbed a potion vial from the cabinet and one of the iced cinnamon rolls before settling at the table to eat it.

She took the seat opposite him.

"Why did you go to Slytherin?"

He shrugged opening the vial and drinking the contents.

He caught her eye before sighing. "When I finished, I couldn't come back here. Not that going to the dungeons was a much better idea." He grumbled the last bit.

"Draco."

He turned away from her and grabbed another cinnamon roll.

"These are good." He said.

"Thanks, but,"

"Did you just make them?" He continued.

She let out a breath in frustration.

"Draco." She said sharply.

"I'm giving you a compliment." He said with a cheeky smile.

She folded her arms and glared at him.

"Fine, no compliments then." He grumbled, focusing on the cinnamon roll in his hand.

She shook her head and took his free hand into hers.

"Draco." Her voice softened.

"Mmm." He said taking a bite from the cinnamon roll. He pulled his hand from hers, and bent his head to avoid her eyes.

"Theo told me what you said."

He finished eating and stood to wash his hands at the sink.

"I don't know why he felt the need to come and snitch to you." He said, turning around and leaning on the counter.

"He's just worried." She murmured, "And he thinks you'd listen to me."

Draco said nothing.

"Would you?" she pressed, unsure why his response to the question mattered so much to her.

"I told him to run."

She bit her tongue in frustration at his abrupt subject change.

"He's been moving his money out of Gringott's. He doesn't have any family left that he cares about." He shifted in place, "I told him to go and not look back. Same with Blaise and Pansy. I even tried to get Daphne to pack up Astoria and her cousins and get the hell away from here."

He looked at her.

"You want them to be safe."

He nodded absently.

"And I can't keep them safe." He tugged at his hair, "I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm trying to be better. All those accidents and curses and…" he let out a breath. "I can't protect anyone. They have to run, not stay because of me."

She bit her lip.

"Slytherin preservation my ass." He murmured with a weak smirk.

"It's their choice." She finally said.

"It's idiotic." He retorted, folding his arms. "If I could, I'd run."

She stood and walked until she was directly in front of him.

"You don't think that this is something worth staying and fighting for?" she asked quietly. He took a breath, and cupped his hand around her cheek.

She held her breath as he scanned her face.

"This is war Hermione," he murmured, "Can you promise, without a doubt, that it will end up ok?"

She felt her chest tighten as his thumb circled to caress her cheek.

"All we can promise is to be cautious." He said and let out a breath.

"But I…Can you at least promise to try and keep safe?" He continued, "Even if you, Potter, and Weasely have a different task, there's still danger."

She opened her mouth to ask how he knew that, but found her protests dead on her tongue. His eyes were pleading, and the answer to her inquiry was obvious. The visions. She clenched her jaw, and felt her eyes begin to water.

Numbly, she nodded.

"Good." He breathed. He leant down and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Draco." Her voice shook. "If you fail will they…"

"Kill me." He finished. He shook his head, "I'm not sure, but if I continue to prove I'm more trouble then I'm worth, probably."

Her breath hitched.

"Then run to us." She said gripping his hand.

He shook his head.

"I don't know where my mother is." He whispered, "And until I can get to her, I have to go. Otherwise, he won't hesitate to kill her."

"But your father."

"Will have someone else to focus his grief and anger on if that happened." He interrupted.

Her grip tightened.

"Would he really?"

"I don't know." He said flatly, "He's not the same. He hasn't been since he came back to us."

"Draco."

"Enough Hermione." He said pulling away from her. The exhaustion was clear on his face. "Enough for tonight." He turned and stalked toward his room, shutting the door.

* * *

She stumbled until her back was pressed at the counter. Her hand went tentatively to her forehead before she dropped her head into her hands and began to sob.

She wasn't sure how long she stood in the kitchen sobbing, but sometime into the night (perhaps it was morning), Draco rejoined her. "Hush." He murmured, pulling her hands away from her face.

"Stop crying Hermione." He sounded desperate.

She pulled away and tried to wipe her tears with the backs of her hands. "I want to, but all of this. I just." She took a breath, trying to calm the race of her heart. "And you." She said somewhat accusingly. She let out a breath. "You confuse the hell out of me."

It was dark, but she could almost make out a light blush on his cheeks.

"I don't mean too." He said after a moment.

He led them both into the Common Room before they collapsed on the couch.

"Draco."

He hummed in response.

"Why did you tell your friends to run last night?" she chewed her lip, "You had all year to do it, get them used to the idea, but you only did it last night."

He looked away from her, idly examining his finger nails.

She wrung her hands together.

"The deadline's changed hasn't it."

He let out a puff of air, and she took that to mean a confirmation.

She felt tears pool at the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back viciously.

"Today." He finally muttered.

She nodded, and was surprised when his hand rested on top of hers. Emboldened, she threaded her fingers through his.

"Draco."

"Mm."

"Have you seen the end of the war yet?"

He sighed.

"No, but I wish I would."

* * *

It was ironic when he was the one to eventually coax them both to go to bed. Their hands were still clasped, and he gently tugged them both to their feet.

"How will anyone know about you, after…after it happens?" she said, hoping to evade sleep for a little longer. Hours were left, and it didn't feel like enough. She'd barely begun to know him, and yet, here she was already missing him.

"I signed a contract." He said as he continued to lead her forward, "It will go to his…his successor."

She shot him a look.

"Lupin will know for sure, as for anyone else." His voice trailed off.

"The less the better." She sighed.

He nodded in agreement.

They stood at his door, their hands still loosely hooked at their fingers.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." She finally said as they both dropped their hands away. He nodded with a slight smirk on his lips. "My last Arithmancy lesson." He mused, "I don't think I'll miss that."

She allowed a half smile to cross her face. "And Potions." With her.

He nodded, with a sad sort of smile playing at his mouth."Night." He said turning to his door.

She reached out then, grabbing his shoulder. He cocked his head and waited. She bit her lip and in a single motion kissed his cheek before he turned and captured her with his mouth.

"You're brave Draco Malfoy." She murmured when they pulled away, before quickly disappearing to her room.

His low response seemed to echo through the silence.

"No. I'm really not."


	19. Chapter 19

A/n: This marks the end of Part I of this story. As always, reviews=love

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote by T.S. Eliot.

* * *

 _This is how the world ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper._

It seemed so fitting for those words to ring in her ears all night and into the day. When Draco emerged from his room the next morning, late for breakfast but early enough to catch her leaving before lessons, it was reaffirmed.

His eyes were rimmed in red and gray, slightly swollen.

The world certainly seemed over.

He mumbled a greeting before disappearing into the kitchen. She sighed and left the room, heading to the Great Hall to grab some form of breakfast before she had to rush to Charms. She was shocked when Draco came in after her. He went to where Pansy and Blaise were sitting. Both of the other Slytherins seemed to be lecturing him, while he remained stoic and silent, grabbing a cup of tea.

He seemed so quiet, crumpled into himself as if he'd already been defeated.

He left not a few minutes later.

"Hermione?"

She turned back to her own table to meet Ginny's worried glance.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. Ginny turned her head before tugging on Hermione's hand until they'd put the Great Hall behind them.

"It's Malfoy, isn't it?"

She couldn't help it then. The sobs seemed to burst out of her.

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed, tugging her into an empty classroom and shutting the door.

She huffed, struggling but finally managing to catch her breath.

"Merlin Ginny, I…" Her voice broke.

Damn it. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Someone had to know besides the obvious, and she was selfish. He'd be leaving and no one would be able to understand why she was falling apart in the aftermath. The truth. The dangerous truth. She took a breath and met Ginny's eyes.

Ginny would know and understand easily. She had first-hand experience when it came to being left behind. She ignored the tinge of guilt in her chest at her thoughts. Her resolve strengthened though, and she re-told the story to Ginny, everything but the visions.

Ginny's face went from confusion to horror and rage before settling on sympathy.

Ginny wrapped her arms around Hermione and allowed her to cry silently into her shoulder.

"I never thought I would feel anything but rage for that slimy git." Ginny finally said when her sobs had quieted.

Hermione nodded, still unsure if she trusted herself to speak. She sniffed and rubbed her face free from tear stains.

"I…I can't help worrying that something's going to go terribly wrong, and when he fails, and they punish him for." Her breath caught in her throat.

Ginny gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"If he didn't think he could handle it, he wouldn't go. He's prepared Hermione. He told you he's been preparing himself."

She protested, before Ginny waved her off.

"Hermione." Ginny suddenly grew pensive, "What," She cleared her throat. "What exactly is going on between you and Malfoy?"

Hermione swallowed roughly, her throat suddenly dry. "I…" She twisted a loose curl back and tucked it behind her ear.

 _Friends_ danced on the tip of her tongue, but that seemed inadequate. While they may be friends, there was no doubt in her mind that they'd progressed a great deal further away from that particular label. Friends didn't describe the tightness in her chest or the utter despair at potentially never seeing him again. It was frightening what she could feel when it came to him, and it felt too soon to declare something so strong when all they'd had was broken conversation and stolen kisses. But then, stronger things were built on less.

"I don't know how to explain it." She finally said. An evasive answer if she ever saw one.

Ginny shook her head, a look of doubt clear on her face. Her eyes drifted to the lone clock in the room.

"Well, you may want to figure it out soon. You haven't got much time." Ginny gave her a soft knowing smile before she continued, "I've got to go. I'm late for Herbology." The red head dashed out of the room. She let out a breath. She was faintly aware that she may already know the answer to Ginny's inquiries, even if she did not want to admit to it out loud.

Hermione glanced at the clock before following the other girl out.

Late to Charms. Honestly, she was on time more often than not when she wasn't Head Girl.

* * *

She tried to forget her conversation with Ginny as she settled into her seat in class.

 _What exactly is going on between you and Malfoy?_

Gods, the loudest question in the room, and it was only in her head.

Harry and Ron walked in a few moments before their professor. She was shocked to see Harry, but he waved her questions away, mouthing the world later.

He lasted a full five minutes after class before he let it slip that he and Dumbledore would be slipping out again tonight.

"A horcrux Hermione. I'm sure of it." He whispered as they walked briskly to their next class.

Her chest tightened, and bricks seemed to sit at the pit of her stomach.

"Keep safe Harry." She whispered.

He nodded and then suddenly grasped her hand. At her questioning look, he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Are you alright Hermione?"

He pulled away to meet her eyes.

"These past few months you've just seemed so distant and distracted."

She smiled weakly. Observant but oblivious Harry. He really was like a brother to her.

"I'm fine Harry." She took a breath, "I just don't feel good about this. I think this rest period we've been enjoying is coming to an end."

He sighed, but an odd expression flashed across his face. He shook his head, and for a moment the grim despair that had lodged itself in her was clear in him.

"I think it ended a long time ago Hermione."

With that, he broke away from her and quickly dashed to his Herbology class. She folded her arms and pressed them close to her in a vain attempt to ride the cold feeling that had wrapped around her.

He was right. For all Harry's faults, his intuition was right more often than not.

She stepped toward her next class, hoping her mind would soon be too busy with Arithmancy to focus on much else.

* * *

The rest of the day blurred together. Arithmancy came and went, then Potions, and Draco for all his earlier teasing did not stay for the lesson. He had come in pale and unsteady before Professor Slughorn told him to go to the Infirmary. It took everything in her to not rush to escort him there.

When the class did end, she cornered Blaise.

"Do you know what's going on?" she asked, "This morning he was fine."

He shook his head. "Not really, though I suspect he _saw_ something, and it's left him quite rattled."

He didn't give her time to respond, because soon Pansy was calling for him to hurry up, leaving her awkwardly standing alone and not the least bit reassured.

* * *

She stumbled back into the Heads' Dorm afterwards, grateful to finally be able to drop the cheery mask she'd adopted to last through the day. The lights were off with Draco stretched out on the couch rubbing his temples. He turned his head at the sound of her footsteps.

"You didn't stay for Potions." She said. Her voice was low, and she was surprised that he could even hear it from across the room.

He nodded and dropped his legs over the side of the couch to sit up. "I was tired."

She sat beside him and idly twisted a stray curl between her fingers. He tugged at his own hair for a moment, before his hand went to rub his forehead.

"You've done all you can." She murmured, hoping the words provided him some semblance of comfort.

He shook his head.

"No. Not nearly enough." He returned. He let out a huff. "Fuck. I just had to pick the hardest choice."

"What would have been the easiest?" She whispered.

"Death."

The response was automatic, and it sent sharp bursts of pain from her throat down to her chest.

"You will not die on me Draco Malfoy."

He turned his head in surprise at the forceful tone she'd adopted.

"Then you best not die on me Hermione Granger." He said, though his tone was considerably more gentle then her own.

She stood and knelt down, taking her hands and placing them along the edges of his face. With her eyes trained on his, she took a breath and then spoke.

"I'm serious."

His expression softened, and he turned his head to lean slightly into her left palm.

"I know, and I'm grateful for that."

His breath tickled her palm, but she found it was a rather pleasant feeling.

He pulled away from her hands, and put his own into them instead.

"Hermione." The seriousness was back on his face, "Whatever happens." He bit his lip. "Protect your mind. If anything happens, you can't let them know…"

"Of this." She breathed, leaning her head on his, "Because this is something isn't it?"

He let out a shaky breath, and she got the impression he was fighting himself from doing something incredibly rash.

She found it incredibly ironic that she wanted them both to simply stop thinking.

She pressed her lips softly against his, and his response was almost immediate. Then, just as she was beginning to forget who she was and where she was, it all seemed to end.

"Please Hermione. Protect your mind and keep safe."

He stood and brushed passed her to disappear into his room. At the click of a lock, she sunk into the couch. It still smelled of him, and she found herself relaxing into it.

She'd never been overly religious. Even when she was young, before magic, she'd never particularly put stock into the idea of deities. Now, prayers fell almost desperately from her lips.

 _Gods. Let everything turn out ok._

* * *

Sometime between her prayer and focusing on Draco's lingering scent, she drifted off into a fitful sleep. She blinked slowly, wondering what time it was when she felt a burning on her throat and in her pocket. She yelped and clasped her necklace away from her neck, ignoring the DA coin in her pocket. She bolted to her feet and saw Draco's door ajar. She immediately rushed in and glanced out the window, instinct the only driving force behind her actions.

She saw the corners of a familiar mark littering the sky, and without a second thought her feet sprang into action as adrenaline took over. Her wand made its way into her hand, and soon the Astronomy Tower was ahead of her. She ducked into a corner, casting silencing charms over herself and a weak disillusionment charm.

It was chaos, bodies swarming in, but those two words were clear over the noise.

Avada Kadavra

Her heart stilled, and she lurched forward out of her hiding space, only to be immediately pulled back in. A hand went over her mouth.

"Hey. Hey."

She stopped struggling against her invisible foe at his voice.

He dropped his Disillusionment charm, but kept his hand over her mouth for a moment. "You shouldn't be here."

She tore his hand away.

"The charm burned and woke me. Then I saw the mark, and…" The weight of those two words dug into her, and her eyes began to water.

"Oh Gods Draco."

His arms went around her.

"You didn't even…You weren't going to say anything." She murmured, lost in her despair.

His grip tightened.

"I didn't think I'd go through with it if I saw you right before." His voice was hoarse, and his own body was trembling against hers.

"Hermione, we don't have much time." He pulled away, and lifted her chin up to look into her eyes.

"The Order Members are arriving. You have to make sure no Death Eaters get near the dormitories. Ok. Hermione. Ok."

She nodded, unable to speak. His eyes. She could focus on them; on the gray whirlwinds that had first clued her on the cracks in his seemingly impregnatable façade. After a moment, her breathing somewhat normal, she nodded again, letting out a soft puff of air.

"Ok." He breathed. His arms dropped.

"Is this it?" Her voice cracked as she spoke, and a tear fell from the corner of her eye.

His thumb immediately went to her cheek to wipe it. The storms seemed to be raging in him, flaring in his magic and playing out in his eyes until they abruptly cleared. He bent his head low, with his breath dancing along her skin.

"Fuck it." He whispered.

Suddenly his lips were on hers, and after a moment she was attacking him with similar intensity.

"I'm." kiss. "Sorry."

She pulled away. His eyes were shining, and the trembling had returned.

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done, and for everything I will do." He whispered.

"No." she pushed away, "Apologize when you get back."

He shook his head, but she yanked him by the collar for one last kiss; his protest dead when her lips closed over his. She moved fast over them, but took care to commit each dip and curve of his mouth. Their bodies molded into each other; heat enveloping them as she simply relaxed into his embrace. It seemed to stretch forever, while still not lasting nearly long enough, but she took advantage of it to spring back into action.

"When you get back." She repeated before shoving him away.

"Ok." This time a ghost of a smile on his face. "Just remember me like this." He kissed her quickly before reapplying the charm.

She pressed her hand to her mouth, before the shouting a corridor away snapped her into action. Immediately, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the castle. No Death Eaters would get anywhere near the other students if she had any say in the matter.

It wasn't until later; after Pomfrey had healed her notable scratches and Bill was given the clear that he would not become a werewolf that the realization of everything that had occurred threatened to drown her.

Ginny extracted her, pulled her toward the Head dormitory. Before they reached the statue, she stopped.

"No." She pulled out of Ginny's grasp, "I can't go in there. Not when…"

 _Not when he's not there._

"Ok." Ginny soothed, and they re-routed to the Gryffindor dorms. By the time she crawled into Ginny's bed, she was openly sobbing with Ginny equally as tearful beside her.

When the tears stop, and her mind was slowly starting to turn its gears, the questions replaced the flood.

She hadn't even asked who his liaison within the order would be.

* * *

She woke up the first night feeling that her throat was on fire. She quickly unclasped the necklace, and waited for hours until the burning sensation seemed to fade. When it did, she was disappointed to find no message, not daring to think about what punishment had prompted the flaming sensation. It was 3 days after that before she caved and tried to contact him. Clutching her necklace, she waited for what seemed like eternity until his message appeared on the metal.

 _I'm alive_

Her response was automatic, and his reply was almost immediate after that.

 _Thank Merlin._

Her hands shook and she read his words quickly.

 _Tired. Still sore. Can barely stay awake. Wish I could talk._

She bit her lip.

 _Just stay alive._

His answer came after a minute.

 _Don't die on me either Hermione Granger. You promised you'd keep safe._

She smiled and pressed her lips closer to the locket and spoke her next message. She wanted him to hear it.

 _I won't. Just come back._


	20. Chapter 20: The Battle of Hogwarts

A/N: This chapter is an interlude between Part I and Part II of the story as well as the first time jump in the story. For now, assume that everything in Deathly Hallows occurred per canon, any deviation will be addressed in the story. As always Review!Review!Review!

Disclaimer: Quotes in this chapter from the Iliad, the Art of War, and Ralph Waldo Emerson. I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

 _There man's courage is best decided. Where the man who is a coward and the brave man show themselves clearly: the skin of the coward changes color one way and another, and the heart inside him has no control to make him sit steady, but he shifts his weight from one foot to another, then settles firmly on both feet, and the heart inside his chest pounds violent as he thinks of the death spirits, and his teeth chatter together: but the brave man's skin will not change color, nor is he too much frightened, once he has taken his place in the hidden position, but his prayer is too close as soon as may be in bitter division._

He thought it was a lie. No person, no matter how brave they may be, could have walked into this battle without fear wedged in their chest. Sure, you could forget it for a moment when the rush of the moment and the need for survival outweighed the pure terror derived from the situation.

Now though, when he had a moment to simply lean against a wall with a hole about 10 feet long, he was overcome by it. Fear.

All that work. All that time spent sneaking and sending information as discretely as he could, and it was still going to shit.

He'd thought, perhaps foolishly, that light should have been able to easily trump the darkness of the other side. Taking in the turmoil and ruin around him, he wondered, not for the first time, if anyone was actually winning in this war.

He felt cheated as he saw person by person fall. For all the faults and barbaric nature of being a Death Eater, they trained like hell. They were furies in battle, and it took a mixture of decent skill and pure luck to take them down.

It was because of this that the Death Eater ranks were largely untouched, while the Resistance had already lost more than they could have afforded too.

So in short. It had all gone to shit.

When, where, how; that remained up for debate.

If anyone had asked him, he would have said it all went to shit the moment Tom Marvello Riddle stepped foot into Hogwarts for his first year, because in all honesty, it had all gone downhill since then.

 _Honestly what was Dumbledore thinking?_

He pushed off the wall and turned the corner to enter another ongoing fight between Resistance members and pureblood supporters.

He dodged another stray spell. He'd scarcely stopped moving since the battle had started. The more he moved, the less likely anyone would spot him, on either side. He threw up shields, moved Order members discretely out of the way of stray spells, and when there was no one around he had knelt beside the fallen and healed those who could be saved.

It made for messy work, and he was already half-dead on his feet.

But he didn't want to stop and rest for more than it took to catch his breath. If he did, his mind would catch up to the rest of him, and he'd be forced to remember details about all that was happening all around him.

 _Crabbe is dead. Crabbe is dead. Crabbe is dead._

He couldn't focus on that. He couldn't focus on how Hermione had screamed out for him, at the risk of exposing him. He certainly couldn't focus on the rush of emotion that had come from simply hearing her voice again when it wasn't riddled with the pain of torture.

 _He'd helped her then. Helped her as much as he could. Distracting her mind, numbing part of the pain, protecting her thoughts._

It wasn't enough. Not nearly enough.

He'd shoved his thoughts away to continue on as he'd forcefully pushed himself back into the battle.

He entered an empty hall and weakly propped himself up on the side. His head pounded, and he felt the telltale signs of dizziness beginning to overtake him. He ground his teeth and pushed his own mental barriers up against it.

Not now. Not yet.

It was during this familiar mental battle that the Dark Lord's voice hissed and echoed through the castle.

"….come and face me….."

The pounding in his head increased, and he lost against it. He vaguely felt his body drop to his knees as the visions clouded his senses.

They always had the worst fucking timing.

* * *

 _The art of war is of vital importance to the State. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or ruin._

Ruin.

It was all she saw as she took in the scene before her. Hogwarts, the place that she'd found her heart and built herself up piece by piece with every brick of its looming towers was a shell of the place she'd fallen in love with at 11.

She'd felt angry when the battle had started. Fury like no other as she dashed with Harry and Ron on the mission for the final Horcrux. Then, as the chaos had threatened to claim them all, it was only fear that she could detect in her chest.

If she took a moment to simply stop and take a breath, she was assaulted by everyone that had been lost and the distinct feel of burning fire.

Fiendfyre.

Draco.

She'd barely stopped herself from running straight into his arms. The last she'd seen him had been Malfoy Manor.

She shivered instinctively at the thought and resisted the urge to clap her hand over her scar. She'd wanted to say something; tell him that he'd done what he could. Her mind was safe. Safe because of whatever protection spells he'd managed to cast over her.

Instead, she'd seen him for a second and then the Room of Requirement was on fire.

He'd left so soon after that. Quiet and quick as he disappeared back into the mess of spells whizzing by them.

She swallowed roughly and tried to focus on the task at hand.

Voldemort had issued a respite.

Bury your dead.

Her eyes darted back at the room filled with the fallen and the injured. She turned to her right and helped set a 5th year Ravenclaw's ankle back into place. When she finished, she looked around to see if she could help anyone else with less grave injuries.

 _There are so many, and we've barely dented the other side._

"Mione."

She turned to look at Ron, unsure what state he'd been in. His family was cracking. Fred had been seriously injured and Percy…Poor Percy, finally reunited and apologetic was gone…

She bit her lip and realized Ron didn't look devastated. Rather, he looked panicked.

"What is it Ron?"

Ron shuffled from side to side.

"Where's Harry?"

 _Merlin Harry you didn't…_

She rushed out from the Great Hall with Ron hot on her heels. How could Harry have left? She blindly shoved passed people until she neared the front. Panting she looked around at the painful division between the two sides.

No one was firing a single spell.

They were both waiting.

Ron's hand wrapped around hers, and she squeezed back gratefully. She took that moment to scan the others, trying and failing to spot any one of the two boys whose names were ringing in her ears.

Harry. Draco. Harry. Draco. Draco. Harry.

Draco.

She couldn't see them, either one of them. The implication of their absence was not lost on her, but she ignored it. Draco and Harry were fine. They were fine.

They had to be.

* * *

 _A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer._

Draco blinked and immediately felt the cool stone pressed against his cheek. He pushed himself upright, unhappy to find that he had in fact passed out completely on the floor. Though his discomfort was little compared to horror of what he'd seen.

Hearing footsteps approaching, he sprung back to his feet un able to prevent the groan from falling from his lips at the sudden movement.

The footsteps neared, and a figure appeared at the other end of the hall.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Blaise."

Blaise quickened his pace till he stood in front of him. "Draco." He paused, his dark gaze dragged over him. "Are you alright?" The question was hesitant, even though the answer was obvious, but to ask it anyway was expected.

He ignored his friend's concern. "Blaise I need you to help get people out of here."

Blaise frowned. "Why? Did you…Did you see something?"

"Just grab Theo and Pansy and force people out of here. Stun and drag them out if you have to, but Blaise, I'm serious, get them out."

"Draco." Blaise moved closer, his hand came to rest on Draco's shoulder. "You're not making any sense. Even if I try to get people to leave now, what makes you think they'll listen?" There was fear in Blaise eyes. Good. It meant he knew he was serious.

"I don't care how." Draco said stubbornly, pulling at strands of his hair. He let out a sigh. "If you see a high-ranking Order member then…tell them everything. Tell them about me and maybe then they'll listen and help out."

"Draco…"

"Now Blaise, everyone that you can, get them to leave."

Draco turned but stopped with one last command, "And don't come back Blasie. Go with them."

He stepped away and turned to head toward the castle exit. His heart was drumming and the beat of it was ringing in his ears. He couldn't stop to think about what he'd seen. Instead, he forced himself to focus, for once, how to prevent it.

 _Dead. He'd seen them all dead._

He shuddered before stopping at the end of the hall.

Before him was a figure lingering among the rubble of the abandoned hall. He carefully approached the hooded figure. His wand was in his hand with his knuckles white around it.

The figure shifted, drawing his head up and dislodging the thick hood from its spot atop his head.

"Goyle." He said stopping a few feet before him.

He wasn't sure what to say. He'd left him too quickly after the room, eager to put distance between the waves of heat and surrender himself to the adrenaline that had prompted him to join the battle once more.

Goyle stared at him blankly, his eyes empty. For a moment, he wasn't even sure if Goyle was aware he was in front of him.

 _After 17 years of knowing one another, this is how it ends._

Greg cleared his throat. "I'm done."

He blinked. "What?"

"Draco." Goyle stepped forward, "I'm done. I'm not going back. I…I can't do this anymore."

He tilted his head to the side and watched as Goyle's expression shifted from blank to panic to set determination. Was he finally seeing real Gregory Goyle and not the one who buried his head in the sand and waited for others to tell him what to do?

He met the other boy's, no man's, gaze and nodded once. "Go, but Greg." He cleared his throat, "Run fast and far."

He swore he saw a small smile stretch on Greg's face before he turned and promptly disapparated.

He let out a breath before resuming his race out of the castle. He almost envied Goyle and how easy it was for him to cut ties and go. He didn't dwell on it long though. He had other things to focus on right now, such as how he was going to make sure things really didn't go to hell.

* * *

Hermione felt the exact moment that Draco joined the masses outside the doors to Hogwarts. A shock had gone through her body, and her pendant had burned slightly. He refused to meet her gaze, but she kept her eyes trained on him.

He was wobbling as he walked, slightly off balance with a pained expression on his face. She felt his despair as he continued moving easily between the others. He'd seen something, and based on his behavior, it wasn't good.

Her heart clenched as her throat seemed to close, refusing the passage of air. Her feet had inched toward his direction without her even aware of the fact. Ron's sharp intake of breath from beside her jolted her back to awareness.

Her eyes drifted, and she saw Voldemort and his procession enter the cleared area before the castle entrance.

"Harry Potter is dead."

He couldn't be.

Harry.

She'd just seen him. An hour ago he'd been by her side.

She closed her eyes after catching sight of the limp body in Hagrid's hands.

Harry.

One of her first real friends.

Her brother in all but name.

She put her hand over her mouth to contain a sob.

He'd been alive. Breathing. Fighting.

He couldn't be gone now.

She felt a pair of eyes on her, and through blurry vision, she saw Draco shake his head slightly. It was such a miniscule movement that she was sure she would have missed it had he not drawn her attention to him to begin with.

She frowned and then her eyes widened.

He wasn't dead.

Draco continued to move like a ghost as everyone around them stood frozen at the horror of the scene before them.

How could Draco know Harry wasn't dead? Even more concerning, she chewed her lip, what was he doing?

* * *

In retrospect, he should have been able to predict it would all come down to Longbottom making a scene. After knowing his classmates for the past 7 years, he shouldn't have needed to prophesize that.

He almost admired the boy for his bravery.

Almost.

Then he watched as the scene played out as he'd envisioned it.

Potter had slipped away. Chaos had ensued. Then, just as the two spells met in the field, he watched as the Dark Lord cast a second spell, this one more wild in nature. He disillusioned himself and stepped into the clearing and cast a nonverbal spell that sent Potter flying to the right just as the Dark Lord's spell threatened to overtake him or rebound on them both. He had seen how that would have ended, and it was not a pretty sight.

He took a breath, hoping to calm his heart from racing right out of his chest. He glanced in the direction he'd sent Potter flying, and in seconds, he'd apparated.

When the world was righted, and he was steady on his feet, he looked around and found the limp body of Harry Potter not far from him.

He hesitated before approaching him.

 _You saw what would have happened if you did nothing. Now is not the time to lose your nerve._

He took in another breath and stepped forward.

He was interfering now. He had no way of knowing how any of this would turned out, but in the moments since he'd seen _that_ vision, he'd been formulating a plan.

Something had gone wrong.

Somewhere along the way, the Dark Lord had figured out Potter's plan, and immediately formed a contingency.

Regardless of the moves made now, Potter had to be alive and with the Order when they undoubtable regrouped.

He was vaguely aware of Voldemort yelling for Dolohov to disarm Potter and bring him back. He could hear shouts of the battle resuming, though he imagined most were retreating now.

He bit his lip and noticed Potter stir slightly. He was still conscious.

With a sigh, he dropped the Disillusionment charm and then disarmed Potter swiftly.

He knelt back down and placed his wand back in Potter's hand. He barely had time to re-apply the Disillusionment Charm before Dolohev was there and disarming Harry himself.

He watched as a ruthless smile overtook the man and just as he was about to lift his arm to fire another spell, Draco placed his wand on the other's temple. The spell was too risky for him to perform non-verbally, so he found himself speaking aloud.

"Obliviate."

He moved through Dolohev's mind with practiced ease, stringing together visions of Dolohov disarming Harry, but unable to stop him from escaping. When he was satisfied that there were no holes in the string of thoughts, he moved behind Dolohov and promptly stunned him. He dropped his Disillusionment Charm.

Potter blinked up at him.

"You…why..."

"You've got bigger things to worry about than me. Now keep quiet." He hissed. _Or you'll get me killed._

He knelt down and began, healing some cuts and bruises while stopping blood flow from deeper cuts.

Harry continued to gap at him. When he was satisfied that Potter was not in danger of keeling over, he stood.

He caught Potter's gaze. They stood there taking in the other. Cuts and scrapes, dried blood on their clothes and skin, they both looked like hell.

 _Opposites. Both set up to play parts they'd never chosen and never wanted._

Potter's eyes softened, and he cleared his throat.

"Can you get back to the Order?" He asked.

Harry sat up, nodding faintly, though the protest was clear on his face.

"Today is lost Potter." He said harshly, "Stop and think."

Potter grew solemn at that and nodded weakly.

Draco let out a breath as he watched the other disappear from sight. There. He'd altered the course and made a move.

He stared at the wand in his hand.

Hopefully it was the right one.

* * *

The moment Harry's body flew away to the side, the eerie quiet that had settled over the wrecked battlefield dissolved.

She blinked, and it was like she'd woken in the midst of the chaos of war once more.

Voldemort was shouting out orders, and members of the Resistance had quickly fired off spells.

 _We have to retreat._

She stumbled away, frantically trying to travel in the direction she'd seen Harry's limp form sail toward.

Her breath was coming in short pants, gasping she staggered to a halt.

In. Out. In. Out.

 _You're no use to anyone if you're too busy hyperventilating._

She blinked as her vision sharpened.

That's when she realized she could no longer see Draco.

Shit.

She turned rapidly from side to side, scanning the crowd for a familiar raven haired or blonde head. The panic swelled in her chest.

She dashed forward, not particularly minding where she was stepping. Her foot slipped on the rubble, and she fell between two large boulders.

"Godric." She hissed.

Slowly, she tried to stand only to immediately fall.

As gently as she could, she rolled her pant's leg up and examined her foot. Her ankle was already swelling, and a thousand curses were on the tip of her tongue.

She fumbled for her wand, crawling toward where it had slipped from her hand during her fall. When she'd finally grasped it, she heard voices nearing her.

She burrowed back between the boulders for shelter and waited. If the voices belonged to friends, she would reveal herself. If not, she'd better hope she could heal her ankle before they sent a spell flying at her.

"Narcissa you must leave."

She snapped her head.

Sure enough, she saw Narcissa Malfoy was moving through the wreckage heading toward the school calling out for her son.

Draco.

If his parents couldn't find him….

No. She wouldn't think like that now.

She focused on Narcissa, who was still frantically knocking away rubble using her wand, clearing a path as she shouted for her son.

She could not recall a time she'd seen the cold woman so disheveled. Her robs were dirtied from the dust of the rubble, and her bangs had fallen into her eyes as she'd practically run through the danger with one target in mind. Draco.

"Narcissa."

Hermione saw Lucius came into view and grab his wife by the arm. Narcissa ignored his grasp, easily detaching herself and continuing her panicked search.

"You've betrayed the Dark Lord. You must leave."

Hermione frowned. How had Narcissa betrayed Voldemort?

"Not without our son." She snarled, "Or have you forgotten him in your idiotic dedication to a mad man."

"Narcissa." He hissed, though a grimace marred his features. "Leave, and I will find Draco."

Narcissa once again fought her husband's grip. She seemed about to continue to argue when the two both stiffened as a third figure joined them.

"Cissy."

Hermione stiffened. That voice. That same voice that belonged to the woman, who so frequently starred in her nightmares.

Bellatrix.

Lucius moved in front of his wife, placing himself between the two. Bellatrix stepped forward, and she was greeted with the sight of the mad witch. Her dark curls were wild around her face, accentuating the already crazed gleam in her eyes. Bellatrix sneered at her sister.

"You've betrayed us Cissy."

Narcissa straightened, channeling every regal fiber in her body to appear as straight and firm as a rod. Her face, which had only moments ago showcased the anger and fear of a mother, was now impassive and cold. An Ice Queen. And Hermione found that she admired the woman. She was strong in her convictions.

Bellatrix laughed. "Will you not defend yourself then?"

Narcissa did not speak.

Lucius; however, seemed distressed at the situation. His eyes darted between the two sisters as he contemplated how best to take control of the situation before it spun dangerously out of control.

"We must return to the Dark Lord. He will offer judgement." He finally said.

"There is only one judgement for traitors Lucius. Do not be weak." Bellatrix sneered.

Lucius's jaw clenched, his hand hovering to his side.

Hermione noticed the bulge in his rob. A wand.

 _The Malfoys were wandless at the beginning. How had they gotten hold of some?_

Hermione found she was enraptured with the scene before her. She was no longer aware of herself, in fact, she was hardly certain if she was still breathing as she waited for one of them to make a move.

Suddenly, Bellatrix's wand was out and spells went flying. She saw flashes of white as Lucius pushed Narcissa to the side.

Then, it seemed to slow as green shots flew before her. Above the whistling of each spell, she made out someone screaming, 'No.'

Her eyes flickered to Narcissa, who seemed to be struck by two shots of green at once. She stumbled for a moment before dropping to the ground.

She clasped her hand over her mouth, slightly aware that the points of her fingers were wet from tears that were streaking down her face.

Bellatrix was cackling at the scene. Lucius seemed stunned, unable to do anything.

Her eyes tore away from the scene toward the source of the shout she'd heard earlier.

Draco.

She caught sight of his light hair as he stumbled toward them. His eyes were wide in pure disbelief. Then he was running, shouting something she couldn't make out. He slowed as he dropped before his mother's body. His hands were stretched out as though to touch her, but were withdrawn quickly back to his side. He dropped his head down. She watched numbly as his shoulders trembled, and he practically fell over Narcissa, his whole body quaking.

Her heart shattered. Every shake in his body was riddled in desperate grief.

His mother. The one person in the world he was willing to sacrifice everything for.

Lucius gripped Draco's shoulders as he knelt down beside him. His long blonde hair curtained them both, before she made out Draco nodding stiffly. Lucius straightened and pulled Draco up with him, whose head lifted.

For a moment, his eyes caught hers. The shock forced him to freeze, and for an eternity they just stood staring one another down. Then there was the unmistakable twitch in his jaw.

She mouthed an apology, but he quickly looked away. He turned from her and stiffly walked through the wreckage until she couldn't see him at all.

He was gone.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: So the beginning of Part II! I hope you all enjoyed reading Draco's POV last chapter, since it's going to be continuing into this part of the story (along with Hermione's). Another time jump in this chapter. Reviews = Love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

He saw the world end in ash almost exactly as he had dreamt it. It kept replaying over and over in his mind until he'd finally just sat and stared at the darkness surrounding him in his room for days. He recalled reading something once about the world ending over and over again. A cycle doomed to be repeated. He supposed that the idea in and of itself wasn't wrong. Across time, across continents, everyone had their idea of how the world would crash and burn.

He just wished the aftermath had been less of a mess.

He stood on the edge of the bridge overlooking the rest of the city. His eyes burned, and he blinked furiously trying to prevent sleep from taking root in them. He cursed for the fourth time that night for the new recruit skipping patrol, then he cursed himself for deciding to cover for the bastard.

Nearly two years at this, and it still hadn't gotten any better.

The city was less of a wreck now, with the efforts having been made to finally clear away the debris and rebuild.

Magic was a wondrous thing, taking stones and piecing them back up into buildings in a matter of minutes. Everything was now habitable, though not every place was safe. None really safe at all. Not since curfew had been enacted roughly 6 months before.

He sighed, still gazing out at the dirty river before him. If he jumped, were would it lead him?

 _Probably to death._

He laughed at his morbid sense of humor before turning back toward the lit street behind him. His wand was at the tip of his fingertips.

The Elder Wand.

It was so different than one might expect. It strengthened the connection between his magic and the wand. He learned spells twice as fast, pooled his energy into each motion twice as much, but it wasn't a miracle worker. This wand relied on the skill of the wielder; that much he'd learned over the years.

He rounded the corner to where he was supposed to meet back with Theo when he felt that he was being followed.

He turned sharply and then once more before waiting in the shadows beside a torn building.

He watched the glide in his stalker's footsteps, familiar in their own way. When the figure stepped near the streetlight, dark skin gleamed from beneath his hood.

"Blaise." Draco sighed.

Blaise pushed his hood back and flashed him a thin smile.

"I wondered when you would notice someone was following you."

Draco inclined his head with a smirk. "I did rather quickly. I just waited to see if you were a threat."

Blaise's smile grew into a grin.

"Fancy a drink then Draco. One old threat to another."

He had barely inclined his head before Blaise had turned and began to lead him down the street and eventually up the steps to one of the few well-made flats still available in Wizarding London.

Blaise took a moment to undo the wards before they both slipped inside.

Draco stuck his wand back into his holster watching as Blaise cast a quick silencing spell.

"I told you when you left last time to not come back."

"You tell me that every time, and yet here I am." Blaise flashed a smile before airily taking a seat on a couch.

Draco sighed before clambering to the kitchen, returning with a bottle of firewhiskey and two shot glasses.

"I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to keep this place available to you." Draco said downing his shot before handing Blaise his.

The other man ignored him, opting to drink his own shot. Blaise stared quizzically at the glass in his hands before his eyes rose to meet Draco's.

It was just as well. They'd been through this same argument hundreds of times before, and really the flat was in no way in danger of being discovered. He'd listed it under his mother's maiden name when he'd hastily begun buying properties after the Battle of Hogwarts. They all served a similar service as this one; a means to house and hide his friends.

"What news then?" Draco asked, leaning over to fill Blaise's glass before moving to his own.

Blaise shrugged. "They're beginning to pick up the pieces. Leadership is finally settled, but," Blaise pursed his lips, "Their numbers are low. They keep losing more even with everything you tell them."

"Because they won't listen." Draco said bitterly, downing another shot. He blinked back at the slight burn as it washed down his throat. "Come on Blaise. You were gone three months, and that's all you got for me."

Blaise shot him a look. He seemed weary, rocking his full shot glass back and forth in his hands.

"Granger's missing."

He looked up quickly, his glass nearly dropping from his grasp.

"What?"

Sympathy flashed in Blaise's gaze. "She'd been missing for four months when I got there."

He swallowed roughly, forcing his face to remain blank. He put the shot glass down, along with the bottle, before digging his trembling hands into his pockets. He focused on taking in large gulps of air, willing himself to avoid the creeping anxiety that was quickly gaining control.

"How?" he finally asked.

Blaise shook his head, annoyance clear in the furrow of his brows. "Damned Weasel was with her. They were making a run for some lead on information. He says they were ambushed and that she might have splinched herself."

"No one's been captured that I know of." Draco said, feeling his heart rate settle. She was just lost somewhere, in hiding. Not much of an improvement, but at least not in Death Eater hands.

Blaise nodded, downing his shot and leaning back into the sofa.

Draco felt his ring heat up, and a quick tap and Theo's voice was ringing in his ear.

He sighed, standing slowly allowing his aching joints to ease back into position.

"That Theo?" Blaise asked.

Draco nodded absently re-buttoning his coat.

"How's he doing?"

"Bugger's Occlumency shields aren't strong enough. Doesn't seem to realize that they won't get any better no matter how many times he reads the book on them." Draco grumbled before moving to the door.

"So you're still angry at him for taking the Mark."

Draco bit his tongue to keep back a particularly scathing remark about Theo and his errors of judgement. He was still angry, but what good would it do for Blaise to know.

"He's made rank." He said flatly.

"That's good. It's what we wanted."

"I didn't need a babysitter." Draco hissed.

"He's your ally, not your babysitter. Besides, it's more like the opposite. You outrank him." Blaise said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"How's Daphne?" Blaise asks after a moment, and Draco was grateful for the subject change.

He smirked. "Still turning him down."

"Do you think she really doesn't feel..."

"She's not turning him down because she doesn't." Draco murmured, "Quite the opposite."

Blaise shook his head, not bothering to hide his own exasperation at the situation. Blaise had always been a closeted romantic. It had truly been amusing, especially during his philandering days. Though those seemed to be done for now. He didn't see the point in resisting something that was so inevitable.

"Can you really blame Daph for not wanting to be in love during war?"

Blaise looked at him, and he nearly flinched at the intensity in his friend's dark eyes.

"Sometimes I think the only time to be in love is during war."

He didn't bother to comment on that. He shrugged and grasped the door handle. "Reset the wards after I'm gone." He finally said, "How long will you stay?"

Blaise sighed from behind him. "3 Days."

"Stay safe."

"Get some sleep Draco, you look like hell."

He refused to step right into that argument and instead yanked the door open and disappeared out of the building.

* * *

Theo was waiting back at the street corner, leaning with his arms crossed at the street post. He pushed off as he approached. "Really took your time tonight."

"Thought I saw something." Draco returned easily as they fell into step. Theo kept in step with him, but they didn't speak again until they'd crossed into Muggle London and bounded up the steps to Draco's flat.

"You see Blaise?" Theo asked. Draco tossed off his jacket and wandlessly sent it to the closet. He nodded as he fell into a chair and began undoing his boots.

"Could have told me. I haven't seen him either."

"Didn't cross my mind." Draco said evenly.

Theo sighed and dropped into the armchair closest to the fireplace. "I know your still angry."

Draco opened his mouth to protest, but Theo ignored him and continued.

"And I'm not going to apologize for my decision, but Salazar's rod Draco, don't take it out on Blaise too."

Draco didn't say anything, focusing on the undoing the knots from his right shoe.

"Look, if you're my brother than Blaise is our other brother."

He sighed, finally kicking off his shoe. "I know Theo." He rubbed his face, wincing as he felt a shot of pain across his temples.

"We'll both go tomorrow night. He'll still be here."

Theo nodded before standing and walking toward the fireplace and grabbing a handful of Floo powder.

Theo bit his lip, lost in thought. He watched Theo's hands waiting for any signs of his apprehension. The anxiety seemed under control for the time being. His grip was steady and firm, no tremors in sight.

"You sure you want to go back to the Manor?" He finally said.

Theo nodded. "Father's still away. I'll be alone."

They left it at that. No need to elaborate on the circumstances surrounding Theo's near deranged father and his erratic behavior. Theo threw the powder into the fire and then pressed his wand to the mantle before calling out Nott Manor.

He disappeared into the green flames, leaving Draco very much alone.

He sighed and rubbed his temples before stumbling toward his bedroom. The pangs had progressed to full out pounding on his skull. He fell on top of the bed, not even bothering to get beneath the covers. He barely had the energy or clarity of mind to magic off his clothes before he allowed himself to succumb to the visions.

He hardly had it in him to fight them anymore.

* * *

Not for the first time, Hermione was beyond thankful that crowds still populated the narrow streets of London. She hobbled as close as she dared to a drunk group before tripping and colliding with one of their members. At her collision, she nimbly slipped her hand into the other girl's pocket. Retreating to the side, she quickly shot a healing spell at her ankles and at her right elbow. She rounded the corner and walked past the same group before dropping the wand discretely near the girl's feet.

The girl was just remarking on the theft when she noticed the wand at her feet.

Hermione allowed herself a small smile. Really, while they were drunk, they made it too easy for her.

She continued down the street, walking as fast as she could without appearing suspicious.

She was in hell it seemed, and every time she closed her eyes it all played out all over again.

One minute, she and Ron were running from the Ministry, scrolls tucked under their arms and the next thing she knew spells were flying. The lights had shut off and they were feeling for each other and the portkey that she'd managed to drop in her haste to whip out her wand.

She shuddered as she passed through the border into muggle London. Though it wasn't much of a border now. Not when this part of the city was just as controlled as the other, complete with a border patrol and an anti-apparation spell.

Not that she could apparate.

Her poor wand. Snapped at the impact of her fall when she'd woken from her journey to find herself in the middle of a park on London's outskirts.

She couldn't for the life of her remember what prompted her to apparate there.

It took her another 10-minute hobble to get to the abandoned church that she'd claimed as her own.

When the door had shut behind the priest quarters she'd set up as her room, she instantly relaxed.

It was pure torment to journey out each and every day with no real protection.

Her wandless magic was improving, though not fast enough for her liking. Her overall state of weakness might have been the reason behind that. Hence, the journeys she spent pick pocketing wands to use for a few healing spells at a time.

She settled back in the cot and pulled a scroll of parchment from underneath it. She toyed it around in her hands.

Such a little thing, but it had nearly cost her her life and Ron's.

At the thought of the red head, tears welled in her eyes. The loneliness left her aching and breathless. She bit her lip and sent up a short prayer to whatever deities were out there that her friends were still safe, wherever they happened to be.

She unfolded the parchment and ran her hands over the ruins that decorated the sheet. She barely recognized the symbols and wished she had her textbook of ruins or a few books she remembered using from Hogwarts in class. Her fingers paused at the one ruin she recognized clearly.

 _Wild._

She sighed and refolded the parchment and replaced it under her mattress.

Why had the Death Eater's been guarding it so thoroughly?

She mulled the thought over in her head before she heard the unmistakable sound of the door to the church re-opening. She froze, straining her ears. Two voices were clear. Both males. Her heart dropped and she immediately went back and pulled all the parchments out from beneath the mattress. She stuck them into her pockets.

Sneaking out was her only option. She refused to be captured again.

* * *

Draco pressed his wrist to his nose, blinking rapidly at the dust that immediately dislodged itself from behind the door to the abandoned church. Some of it still managed to get into his airways as evidenced by the fit of dry coughing he was powerless to prevent.

Theo glanced at him, concern clear, but he waved him forward. He cleared his throat to catch his breath as the coughing subsided. He stepped forward, taking in the overturned benches and cracks in the marbled floor.

"It's a dump." He muttered, turning back to Theo, who was busy shooting revealing spells around the room.

"Are you sure that this is where the spell went off?"

Theo rolled his eyes. "Yes. If all you're going to do is complain, you shouldn't have insisted on coming. Now who's babysitting who?"

Draco was about to retort when he heard shuffling from somewhere near the back of the room. Theo turned, obviously having heard the same. With a finger to his lips, he motioned Theo to follow him as they soundlessly drifted passed the podium to a short hall of rooms.

He signaled for Theo to take the right side as he moved to the opposite end. He sighed to himself, hoping that whoever was seeking refuge in this shithole was just a wandering drunk. He wanted to deal with this as quickly as possible. For the first time all week, the prospect of sleep actually seemed promising.

* * *

She heard one of them cough before their footsteps simply ceased. She clutched her makeshift weapon in her hand, wondering if beating her attackers with a broken cross might be considered blasphemous. She shoved the thought away as she listened for the telltale signs of breathing. Though, it was hard to make out anything over the roaring of her own heart.

 _Deep breaths._

The pounding in her ears seemed to recede enough for her to notice the faintest sound of a shoe hitting against uneven floor.

She didn't even think before swinging out from the corner and swinging the broken piece of wood blindly at the intruder.

"What the bloody fuck?" he backed away, his hands coming up to protect his face.

At the sound of his voice she stilled. She dropped her hand, grasp still firm on the cross.

It was a voice from a lifetime ago. Could it really be….

"Careful Theo, I think you're being crucified." A voice drawled from behind her.

The wood dropped from her hand as she slowly turned toward the source of the second voice.

He met her gaze, fiercely and completely devoid of traces to what he was thinking. Her chest tightened at the sight, and she resisted the urge to reach for the necklace that still hung at her neck.

Draco.

She heard his name pass from her lips as a mere whisper.

She'd dreamt of seeing him again, but her dreams were fanciful and filled with visions of easy reconciliation. Reality was a great deal harsher. How should she greet him when the last time she'd seen him his mother had just been brutally murdered?

 _While she did nothing._

She licked her lips before moving her eyes from Draco back to her initial intruder.

"Theo?" She said uncertainly as the brunette in front of her hesitantly moved his arms away.

Theo blinked up at her in shock. She was about to ask how they'd found her, when Draco chose that moment to finally speak.

"Nott."

Theo's eyes snapped to Draco.

"Take her back to the flat." In a second, Draco was beside her unclasping his cloak and quickly dropping it over her shoulders. He yanked the hood over her head, and in the next second he was beside Theo, pushing him into motion.

Her mouth dropped at being handled like nothing more than a ragdoll. She clasped her jaw tight, grinding her teeth together. In all the scenarios, she imagined of this, not one of them included him effectively ignoring her. He had no right to speak as though she wasn't there.

"I am not going anywhere."

Both heads snapped to her.

"Would you rather someone else find you then?" Draco snapped before turning back to Theo, "Keep her head down."

"Draco what are you…" She began.

"I'll send the ok and report back. It was nothing more than a wandering drunk who forgot about the new restrictions on the curfew." Draco continued, before shooting Theo a meaningful glance and quickly rushing out of the church.

Gone. Just like that.

She wasn't sure if she should be angry or displeased. A mix of both. She blinked before turning slowly toward Theo. It occurred to her then, that this was turning into what could only be described as an impromptu rescue of sorts.

Though, a nagging voice was sounding in her ears. Could she trust them? It had been nearly two years, and Draco…

 _He had every reason to hate her._

"Granger." Theo said gently taking her arm, "Come on. You don't want anyone else to find you trust me."

She glanced up at Theo's kind green eyes. She took a breath, and she found herself automatically letting her guard down. This was Theo. Theo, who had teased her. Theo, who had been nothing but a kind and polite figure in all their years that she'd known him. Her mind was finally turning its rusted clogs. He was right. She couldn't stay here. Draco and Theo had found her; the next set of intruders would not be as forgiving.

"Ok." She whispered, dropping her head and letting Theo lead her out. They didn't walk for far. Maybe a few blocks, but they were pure torture. Her feet dragged as her still tender ankles throbbed with pain. The adrenaline that had been fueling her body was now spent, and she was hit with the full force of her aching and battered body.

At her sharp intake of breath, Theo slowed their pace. She stole a glance at the boy, whose gaze was fixated ahead of them. His eyes would dart to the side every once and awhile, but other than that he strode as though he hadn't a care in the world. Besides the slight tension in his jaw and neck, he was the picture of ease and disinterest.

Amazing, how he could do that.

They stopped in front of a restored building that seemed to be largely abandoned. Theo kept his grip firm around her hand, leading them through the entrance and up the stairs to a flat on the second floor. A quick glance around the hall revealed no other apartment doors.

Theo quickly dropped the wards and forced them both in, closing the door and immediately reapplying the wards.

She stumbled before quickly scanning the apartment. It was relatively simple. A large living room that was sparsely furnished with a couch and two uncomfortable looking chairs and a bookcase near the fireplace. To the left, she made out what was clearly a kitchen as well as two doors that she assumed were to the bedrooms.

Without realizing it, she'd been gravitating toward the couch, eager to get off her aching feet. Theo cleared his throat from behind her.

"You may want to lose the shoes. Drake's got this thing about them and carpets."

She frowned and glanced down at her dirtied and worn boots. She cringed. They'd certainly seen better days.

"It's good to see you Granger." Theo said, flashing her a thin smile.

"Despite the circumstances." She took a breath, "I'm glad to see you too Theo."

He nodded. "I'm just relieved you're alright. When Blaise told us you'd been missing for months..."

"Blaise was here." Hermione straightened. Last she'd seen the Italian; he'd been with the Order.

Theo frowned, suddenly uneasy.

"He was here last week."

Her eyes widened. If Blaise could travel between restricted London and the outside world, maybe he could take her with him. She had to get back to the Order.

Her chest tightened.

She was about to ask Theo when Blaise was expected back, when a chime sounded and the fireplace roared to life. Theo grabbed her and pulled her behind him just as Draco stepped out.

He glanced over at them before stepping passed them and into the kitchen. Theo frowned and edged toward the kitchen entrance.

"Draco?" he called out.

The blonde in question came back with an assortment of jars and potions in his arms. "What Theo?" His voice was low.

Hermione remained firm in place, but now that her initial fear and anxiety had faded, she found herself properly examining him.

He'd gained weight.

It was the most obvious change. Where he'd been a rail when she'd last seen him, he'd now filled into most of his lanky frame. He was still thin, but not painfully so. She drifted to his face, and was not surprised to see the telltale signs of sleep deprivation.

Where the visions still so debilitating?

Theo was still staring at Draco, his eyes narrowed and searching for Merlin knows what. After a moment, he sighed and shot her a thin smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Theo finally said. Draco nodded. The fireplace lit up with the floo powder and Theo pressed his wand to the mantel before calling out for Nott Manor. With a flash of green he was gone.

"You should probably get cleaned up before we have a look at your injuries."

She lifted her head and met his gaze, though she frowned when he quickly looked away.

It hurt, that knife of tension that was so deeply lodged between them. It was like they didn't know how to behave around each other anymore.

 _He hates me. He hates me because I did nothing, when I chided him for that very thing before. Hypocrite Hermione Granger._

She grimaced.

"Hermione."

She blinked.

"Yes."

He gave her an odd look, but for a moment she swore she saw amusement dash through his mercurial eyes.

"I said would you like the shower?"

Her knees shook, as her exhaustion seemed to catch up with her.

"I…" she looked away, "I don't think I can stand for long."

He nodded, his jaw clenched. He motioned with his head to follow her into one of the bedrooms. Shakily, she stepped, reaching out to support herself against the walls.

He waved at the handle and the door flung open to reveal a simple bedroom. Something about its set up struck her as familiar.

He continued walking and pushed open a door that revealed a rather large Master bathroom.

She frowned as she continued to scrutinize the room before it hit her.

It was like his room in the Head's dorm.

This was Draco's bedroom.

She felt her cheeks warm at the realization, and quickly pressed her hands to her cheeks.

"The bath is ready." He called from near the tub.

She shook her head and walked slowly into the bathroom. He watched her intently before clearing his throat rather loudly.

"Call out if you need anything."

She nodded, chewing her lip. He shot her one last look before he shut the door to the bath.

* * *

She started with her pants, slowly pulling off the jeans that had been her second skin for several months now. Socks were next.

It wasn't until she got to her jumper that it finally hit her.

The tears began falling freely, and she tried, through her blurred vision to reach overhead and pull the clothing off her. Her arms protested at the movement, and she hissed in pain.

All of it crashed down.

She was back in the Ministry. Ron was shouting from across the room. Greens and reds flashed around her.

She whimpered, feeling her knees buckle.

The escape, and the searing pain of being splinched as she landed. The crack her wand made when she'd fallen down on it.

She was openly sobbing now.

All those months, where she didn't dare speak a word out loud. All that time living in an abandoned building filled to the brim with dust and cobwebs.

There was pounding on the door, but it hardly fazed her.

She drew her legs close, and wrapped her arms around herself.

This was it. This was when it would end. Ron and Harry having no idea where she was. Her parents having no idea who she was at all. And then Draco, Draco who probably hated her and couldn't be trusted because of it.

The door flew open, and Draco froze at the site of her half naked form curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor.

She saw him grab a towel and wrap it gently around her, before kneeling down to face her.

"Hermione." He said softly.

If anything, it made her sob harder.

He shouldn't be allowed to be kind. Not right now. Not to anyone, least of all her.

"You're safe Hermione." He continued.

She nodded, viciously rubbing away the tear stains from her face. She felt her panic subside as her shoulders slumped down.

* * *

He was relieved when she finally calmed. She seemed to actually be hearing and responding to him now.

"Why aren't you in the tub?" he asked, keeping his voice soft and smooth.

"I…couldn't," she hiccuped, "I couldn't get my jumper."

His eyes widened before he nodded slowly.

Her arms were where her worst injuries were.

"Can you keep the towel around you?"

When she nodded in response, he re-positioned himself to her back, before slowly pulling the corner of the fabric up, until she was free of it.

"Do you want me to help you with the shirt too?" he said, knowing she probably couldn't get that off either.

Again, he waited for her nod before maneuvering her out of it. They repeated it for her bra and finally it was just the towel that hung from her frame. He turned and waited until she'd gotten into the tub before he faced her.

"Ok now?"

She nodded numbly, and he quickly exited the bath.

* * *

It was 20 minutes more before she deemed herself sufficiently clean. She stood stiffly from the bath and wrapped the towel back around her. When she turned the door and stepped into the bedroom she was relieved that Draco was nowhere to be seen.

Her clothes; though, had been folded and placed on the bed, looking like they'd been subjected to quite a few rounds Scourgify. Next to the pile was a pair of transfigured pajama pants and a plain black t-shirt as well as a hair brush.

She hesitated before grabbing her bra and underwear and the pajama set, quickly changing into them.

She tried to brush through her hair, but again her arms protested at the movement.

There was a soft knock at the door, and it slowly opened to reveal Draco. He glanced at the hairbrush in her hands.

"I can't." she whispered.

He gave her a slight nod, before pulling his wand from his pocket. In seconds, her hair was magically dry and de-tangled.

Then he wordlessly took her arms into his hands and began applying the healing salves in healthy clumps atop her skin. A murmured bone mending spell and a few potions and she was led into the guest bedroom

"Thank you." She finally said, leaning against the door frame.

He reached out and lifted her chin until her eyes met his. Still unreadable, but slightly softer than before.

"You've done the same for me."

Then he turned and went into his own room.

Damn him.

She gingerly laid out on the bed.

Damn him for always being so bloody difficult to read.

* * *

He should be used to waking up to screaming. More often than not, he was the one doing it. Not this time.

He scrambled out of bed and easily made it out to the hall. He stopped in front of the room. He debated going in. Would she want him, and whatever comfort he could give her. Two years nearly gone, and it felt like nothing when he saw her in the abandoned church.

 _But she might not feel the same about that._

His ears perked up at the sound of her whimpering, and with a deep breath, he pushed open the door and entered.

The screaming had stopped, but she was rocking herself back and forth clutching her forearm.

"Granger."

He cringed as it passed from his lips. It felt too formal. Foreign. Like they were strangers.

 _And they were anything but._

She quieted at his voice, and he took that as encouragement. He pulled her arms apart gently.

"Hermione."

He shook her.

She shook her head, the whimpering escalating into sobs.

"Hermione, wake up."

She opened her eyes, and he willed himself not to flinch at the utter desperation lodged in them.

"Draco?" her voice was hoarse as she focused on him.

He dropped his hands.

"It seems we've had a role reversal. You're usually waking me up from a horrible dream."

A sob broke from her, but it turned into a watery laugh. He was grateful for it.

She caught her breath and moved to sit upright.

"You shouldn't…"

"What was it about?" He interrupted.

"No." She pushed him off the bed.

He stumbled. Her hysterics seemed to flare at her newfound panic. Why though?

"Hermione."

"No." she said again, "Not from you. Gods why is it always you?"

He stood and slowly walked closer.

"What happened Hermione?"

"Not to you." She whimpered, "It shouldn't be you. You don't have to be nice to me. In fact, you probably hate me…" Her voice broke.

She'd stopped thrashing and pushing him away, so he took her arms back into his hands before dropping them to thread his fingers through hers. She trembled in his grasp.

"I don't hate you." He said simply, because it was the truth. He didn't, couldn't hate Hermione Granger. It went against every fiber in his body. It was the ultimate irony. The one thing he'd been brought up to hate, he couldn't.

She was too kind, too thoughtful, too bloody smart, and yet she could be so oblivious.

She bit her lip and looked up at him.

"Why aren't you angry at me?" She said then, "I just stood there and did nothing."

He blinked.

Salazar was that what she was worried about?

"I was. For a long time." His voice broke, "But then I thought, what a hypocrite, because," his hand edged up and went under the sleeve of the shirt he'd transfigured for her.

"Because I did the same thing when you got this."

His fingers edged across the vile lettering.

"No." she shook her head, "No that's not true. I felt it."

Her forehead dropped to lean on his.

"I know you stopped part of the pain. You…You protected my mind with those hallucinations and that shield."

His fingers stopped moving.

"But I didn't do anything, and she just..."

He shushed her. "No. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome. Trust me." He shot her a weak smile, "I know."

She met his gaze before nodding slightly.

He moved back to push the sleeve up her arm. "Is this what you were dreaming about?"

She looked away, but in the movement, he had his answer.

He was shit at this. He knew he was, but she deserved some comfort, no matter how inept he was at giving it.

"Hermione."

"You once told me that you were sorry." She interrupted him, "Sorry for everything you've ever done, and for everything you will do."

He felt his throat clench at the memory. When he forced his next words out, they were hoarse.

 _Remember me like this._

 _Just come back._

"They're still true."

She nodded, chewing her bottom lip.

"And I am too. I'm sorry for everything I didn't do and for everything I did."

Merlin he wanted…Fuck he didn't know.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, resisting the urge to bend down and capture her mouth with his.

"I know Granger." She closed her eyes, her exhaustion was finally catching up with her. Much like his own.

"Go to sleep ok."

She murmured something, and he laid her gently back down.

"Sleep Hermione." He murmured kissing her temple again.

"Night Draco." She whispered.

The corners of his mouth tugged upward and when he finally got back to his room, he collapsed. For the first time in months, he fell asleep and dreamt of nothing all the way until morning.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: Review! Review!Review!

* * *

It felt like a dream when she woke in a bed with unfamiliar walls and ceiling that she stared at for what felt like hours. Had last night happened? Had she really been found and then brought back to Draco's flat? She felt her cheeks heat.

He'd calmed her down from her hysterics not once, but twice, and both in compromising scenarios. Yet, a part of her had latched onto that kindness. It was more than she'd expected. Though Draco always had a way of surprising her.

Her fingers went instinctively to the pendant of her necklaced, tracing the engravings back and forth.

After Hogwarts, the Order had been in tatters. It had been a shock, watching Harry's body soar to the side and the fighting dissolve into a mass retreat. The whole disaster had been in her nightmares for months afterward. Though of all the horrifying images of her dreams, one had haunted her nearly consistently.

Draco.

His blank expression, while his body had trembled, giving him away.

Gods.

It had been more painful than the eternity that she'd spent beneath Bellatrix's wand.

Where had it gone wrong? They'd destroyed the Horcruxes. They'd prepared. Yet, somewhere, somehow, Voldemort had known…

It had come down to knowledge. Something that had come as a rather comforting irony for her. Research. Voldemort had been seeking information and hiding it away after he'd devoured it.

They'd finally had an opportunity to find out what exactly had consumed his attention, and the Order had jumped at it.

 _Gryffindors. You aren't cut out for stealth._

His voice had been mocking her the moment the Death Eaters had appeared up until she'd landed in a heap on that field.

She blinked up at the ceiling before shaking her head.

He hadn't mocked her the night before. Rather childishly, she'd expected him to revert back to cold and scathing.

He hadn't, and that alone had left her confused and oddly comforted. So why then, couldn't she bring herself to leave the safety of the room?

Because she was afraid. She was afraid because two years had meant nothing in the seconds she'd met his gaze. It was downright terrifying, because up until she'd seen him again she'd been able to silence her traitorous heart by throwing herself into work to rebuild the resistance. Now, with him right in front of her, the whispers had become outright shouts.

She grimaced swinging her legs over the bed and standing.

She took a step toward the door before detouring to the bathroom.

 _She still wasn't quite ready to face him._

For all her stalling, he wasn't there to meet her. She gripped his note in her hand as she leaned against the counter in the kitchen.

 _Have to work. Be back later. Theo will be there soon to keep you company. – D.M._

Quick. To the point. Uninformative. Seemed just like him.

She sighed and turned back to the food on the table while admiring the neat curves and edges of his handwriting. She finally tossed the note to the side before eating.

Until Theo came back, she had all the time in the world to explore this flat and think about her next move.

And it was a beautiful flat, sleek with accents in gray. Everything neat and in its place completely complementing her knowledge over his extreme tidiness. Though, it was largely empty. It slightly conflicted with the image she had for where he lived, though not in a bad way. After all, she had been imaging Malfoy Manor.

She finished eating rather quickly, before she stumbled back into the living room to explore.

She'd missed the small balcony in her initial examination. The view was nothing special only the building across the street that appeared to be as abandoned as the one she was currently in.

There was also a third room, the door partly hidden by the curve of the wall in the hall.

The door eased open at her touch and she soon found herself within a study. Though a rather large one. The window had light streaming through it and near the winter was a sleek black piano.

 _She hadn't known he played._

Her eyes drifted to the actual desk but froze at the wall behind it.

Books. The entire wall was covered in books.

Instinctively, she moved forward and let her fingers brush the spines. Hesitantly, she grasped one and pulled it from the shelf. She gasped when the spot was immediately filled with another book. Curious, she replaced the book and found it fit right in, pushing the new book away to reclaim its spot. She smiled as she repeated the action on other books. A charmed bookcase. Clever.

He had quite a collection. There were music books, books on potions, and she even noticed some of their old textbooks and other references. She froze at one title. Runes.

She was about to pull the book, when she caught sight of familiar notebook between two large history tests. She pulled it out quickly, running her hand across the leather binds.

 _His notebook._

It was still filled with buildings mostly. She recognized many of the towers from Hogwarts. After a few pages, the sketches changed to scenery.

Her breath caught at one sketch of a person, who she recognized from brief interactions. Narcissa Malfoy. She shut the book quickly, feeling as though she'd violated some sense of privacy. Quickly, she set the journal back into its place on the shelf, but the picture of the sketch forced a lump into her throat.

It had been quite accurate. Every line and imperfection as well as every beautiful feature the older woman had possessed before her death perfectly preserved in the dark charcoal marks on the page. It was almost an exercise in preserving her memory. He probably missed her terribly.

At her last thought, she heard the Floo roar to life in the other room. She froze and waited as she heard light footsteps before a knock on the study door that opened marginally to reveal a brunette.

"There you are Granger." Theo said pushing the door open, "I figured the books would somehow pull you into this room."

She laughed and Theo grinned. He inclined his head toward the piano.

"Do you play?"

She followed his gaze, shrugging slightly. "A little. I had lessons when I was younger.

"I did too. Draco and I took them with Narcissa for years." He grimaced before smiling, "She'd complain the entire time about how neither one of us could sit still long enough to appreciate the lessons."

"Really?" She cracked a smile as she thought about two fidgeting children, no doubt feeding on each other's need to go out and make mischief.

"Of course, that didn't make her stop." he took a breath, "She would say that our childish rebellion would not get in the way of her turning us into proper gentleman worthy of our houses." He snorted. He turned away from her, his eyes falling to the floor as he grew lost in his memories.

She wondered if he was thinking of Narcissa, who must have played a large role in his life; especially with his own mother gone when he was quite young. He must mourn them both.

"Did you?" she asked, clearing her throat. "Did you become that gentleman?"

He blinked up at her, making a noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. His eyes clouded over before he let out a tired sigh.

"Does it matter?" he asked, his voice was thick in exhaustion.

"I suppose not." She whispered in reply.

They were silent then. Unsure really what more there was to say. She studied him, and she couldn't help but allow her gaze to wander to his arm.

"I did." She glanced up to find Theo studying her intently. "I took it."

"Why?" Her voice was soft, and she was surprised by the lack of judgement in her tone.

"Because of Draco." Theo let out a puff of air, "Once Snape was gone, it was just him."

Her heart hammered.

He was right. Snape had been a buffer, a familiar face that Draco could draw support from. With him gone, he'd been alone.

Theo rolled his sleeve up, and stared at the mark.

She noticed his was smaller. Almost lithe, as it crawled up his forearm. The edges of the skin around it were still red. A sign, she was beginning to realize, of an unwilling recipient.

"You should have seen the fit Draco threw over it, it was even worse than when Blaise decided to play messenger between here and your lot." Theo murmured, before rolling his sleeve back down.

She reached out to his shoulder. "But you know how he is." Theo said then with a thin smile, "Bugger thinks he has to do everything himself."

"Without help." She nodded. It grated her; that aspect of his personality. It hadn't helped him then. It certainly wouldn't help him now.

"And we all need it. Merlin though, our fucking pride." Theo chuckled ruefully.

She shook her head and was pleased when Theo grasped her hand on his shoulder tightly before dropping his own.

"Come on, I'm starved. Let's see if Draco actually has any food in this place." Theo said standing by door.

* * *

Theo was looking through various cabinets in the kitchen when she finally stumbled in after him.

"Merlin, half of these are potions and the other half is potion supplies." He said with a hint of annoyance.

Based on what she could see over Theo's head, he appeared to be right. She smiled slightly. Draco's need to constantly be prepared, to plan, seemed to have carried over into just about every aspect of his life. Though he'd always been good at Potions, he'd certainly surprised her at his knowledge in the subject more times than one.

Theo shut the cabinet and moved to the ones on the opposite end. He let out a happy noise and turned around holding out a loaf of bread in triumph. He continued digging through the cabinet as she set her focus on the icebox.

Between both their efforts, they came up with the makings of a rudimentary sandwich.

They sat at the counter, both quiet. She glanced about the apartment from her perch. Nostalgia came over her. It was as though they were back at Hogwarts in Head's dormitory. Only this time, the dorm was bigger, an entire floor bigger.

Did Blaise stay here? Between trips from here and the Order?

Blaise.

He confirmed Draco's continued stance. The thought warmed her. It meant that he hadn't abandoned them, even with all the bleakness surrounding the current situation.

 _He hadn't abandoned her._

"So Blaise is able to travel out of London. I thought there were wards." She said.

Theo finished chewing the last mouthful of his sandwich before clearing his throat.

"There are." His expression was guarded as he seemed to debate how exactly to phrase what he wanted to say.

"Theo…"

Theo met her gaze, and she was confused by the sheer amount of emotion pooling in his bright green eyes.

He cleared his throat.

"There are still some traveling privileges that people of a certain background have available to them. Blaise doesn't have to sneak around. He flashes his paperwork at the border and is off on his merry way, but I suspect that will soon change."

"Paperwork?" she whispered, feeling her heart drop into her gut. That meant documents, and documents meant the Ministry.

"Proving lineage, yes." Theo answered crisply, with a scowl on his face, "It serves a double purpose. For one, they round up anyone on their list of undesirables and for another they now have potential recruits. They've been hammering for Blaise for a while now. Draco's kept them off it, and Blaise has his Mum in hiding, so there's no threatening him into forced servitude." She met his gaze, and she got the impression he was trying to apologize to her for the situation, which was ridiculous. It wasn't Theo who'd done any of this.

"That's. that's…" she struggled unsure how best to voice the indigence she felt at every disgusting thing that Theo had relayed to her.

"It's methodical, but barbaric." Theo murmured, crossing his arms, "Your best bet is polyjuice and forged papers. Draco knows a guy, but it might take a while."

It was risky. They both knew that, especially if she didn't somehow get a wand between now and then.

She nodded numbly to herself. Trapped for the foreseeable future then. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes drifted across the flat again. There were worse situations.

At that thought, a thin smile formed at her lips.

"Well this beats the church."

Theo blinked before a laugh broke out. "Oh gods," he breathed, when the laughter subsided, "Despite everything, I'm glad you're here Granger."

* * *

He hated meetings. Theo had been lucky to get out of it. Meetings were torture in their own right; a madman to the left and right of him and the psychotic mutant at the head of the table. The whole set up was enough to send anyone into a panic.

Which it had. Multiple times in fact.

Yet, if Draco had learned anything over the hell that had been his existence for the past 4 years, it was that distractions had quite literally saved his sanity.

The trick with Occlumency, he'd found, was compartmentalization and rerouting of thoughts.

Even if anyone could breach the defenses of the mind, they'd soon be met by a chain of thoughts that, though random, was believable.

It had probably saved his life.

It was probably saving it now.

He let his eyes wander over the length of the table. His mad aunt was hanging on to every word that came out of the Dark Lord's mouth. To her left, her husband Rodolphus was significantly less enthused. Everyone else's expressions were more or less the same. He paused to study Theodore Nott Sr. His eyes were slightly glazed, but every once and awhile they would drift warily around the table.

He wondered how Theo went back home each and every night not knowing exactly what was going on in his father's mind. He hadn't stood for it for a second. Before Lucius had even realized it, he'd moved out and bought 4 flats in the city. He wasn't subjecting himself to more terror than was necessary. He honestly didn't think his nerves could handle any more.

He looked to the head of the table, suppressing the urge to flinch as he took in the humanoid features of Voldemort.

The Dark Lord had attempted, at first, to find a way to restore his previous handsome looks. His vanity knew no bounds. Though, he'd ultimately failed in doing more than to lessen the parlor and tightness of his skin.

His refocusing on the meeting let him hear the final dismissal signaling the end to this trail on his stress levels.

"You are dismissed." The Lord hissed. The chairs were pushed back and figures rose. He let out a breath and rose from his seat.

"Young Malfoy."

Fuck.

"Yes My Lord." He dipped his head.

"If you would stay behind for a moment. There are things we need to discuss."

He dipped his head down further in response. When the room emptied, he lifted his head and met the Dark Lord's gaze.

It took everything in him to meet it evenly.

A slow smile spread across his face.

"You have done well Draco. You have risen quite far after having fallen," He paused, "so out of favor only a short time ago."

"You honor me with your praise my Lord." He ground out. Appeal to the ego. It had been his mantra and main strategy every time he was addressed. Unfortunately, now that he'd risen in rank that seemed to occur much more frequently.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his Aunt grin widely.

"I wish to offer you a gift."

He schooled his features as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest. His fists clenched of their own accord as the first sounds of shouts and a struggle sounded.

"Tell me Draco. The fight is yet won, but our numbers dwindle. We are threatened with extinction even with victory."

He focused on his breathing. In. Out. Rise and fall of his chest.

"Blood is blood, My Lord. Pure blood should not be spilled needlessly."

"And a Blood traitor? What of their pure blood?"

"Surely they can be r _etaught_ my Lord. Shown the error of their ways." He took in a short breath, grateful that though his voice was low, it did not waver as he spoke. Let the bastard make of that as he wished. He had certainly proved himself creative over the years.

"And half-bloods?"

At that, Draco seriously wondered how much more hypocritical the maniac could get. Half-blood. Hah. It was a trap, a trick.

"Blood is blood." He repeated before he carefully continued, choosing his next words with caution, "They are not pure, but in a few generations, they could be once more. Magical blood is to be valued my Lord."

He looked at him for quite some time before Voldemort laughed. "So you see to the future then?"

 _More than you know._

"I see a division my Lord. Classes that already exist only." He paused, "Only more pronounced."

What was he getting himself into? He'd expected an interrogation, perhaps another impossible task. The shouts he'd heard before had now resumed, and it left him wondering if perhaps that's were all of this was heading anyway.

"You describe a Kingdom." Voldemort laughed again, "You've grown, young Malfoy, into quite a delight."

He flinched, but the Dark Lord did not seem to notice.

"Now tell me. In this future, what of those that cannot see reason?"

"A kingdom is built on a river that flows red, My Lord."

Voldemort peered into his eyes just as he felt the beginnings of intrusions into his mind.

"And in this kingdom, who is king? You?"

He altered his mental walls, and pooled random thoughts to the front.

"I only have my wand to offer. Nothing more. Nothing less."

The pressure in his head faded, and based on Voldemort's expression, he was pleased.

"And yet, in you is old blood. The blood that has made kings and the blood that has ruled empires. You are a prince of this kingdom we have fashioned."

He felt his palms sweat.

We.

What on earth did that even mean?

"I have just my wand." He repeated, "I am one wizard at the service to a great lord."

He was practically praying now to whatever deities above that this interrogation would end.

Voldemort stood back, appraising him.

"Quite right. You serve on the right hand of a great master. You have risen again Draco Malfoy. There is but one between you and your Master. A prince to his king as it were."

He beckoned him forward as Bellatrix came and pushed a man down in front of them both. He was shaking, regarding them all with pure terror. His clothes gave him away. Muggle.

"Let us mark this occasion." Voldemort hissed. Bellatrix grinned. "You honor my family my Lord." She cackled holding out a blade to him.

"Now, spill the blood that we will build our empire from." The Dark Lord crooned, "Bellatrix."

She straightened.

"See that he has time to enjoy it."

With a bellowing of robes, the Dark Lord strode from the room.

 _Coward. Kill with your own hand and not the weapons you fashion._

His Aunt Bella pressed the knife into his hand. He flinched at the contact, but quickly molded his features into his cold façade. He stared at it for a moment before summoning a sneer to his face.

"I will not resort to such barbaric means of torture." He said dropping the knife, "I have no desire for that _thing's"_ He stressed the word, "blood to spill on me."

"You would defy our Lord?" Bellatrix said. Her face contorted in rage, and he saw her arm move and grabbed it before any damage could be done.

"Aunt, you forget that we are wizards." He said calmly, dropping her arm before standing before the Muggle man.

"I will kill as wizards do."

Before he'd even finished speaking, the green flash sprouted from his wand and the man fell forward.

Bellatrix clapped in delight.

"Quite right nephew. Quite right." She grinned before skipping out of the room.

* * *

He waited with only the beat of his heart for company. One. Two. Five minutes and still not another soul joined him.

He let out a breath, silently casting a revealing spell. When he was met with nothing, he turned back to the fallen man and with a few wand motions the body was transfigured into a galleon, which he deposited into his pocket before discreetly leaving the Manor.

The man woke after an hour. He was frantic, hysterical babbling before attempting to attack Draco fists and all. He'd stunned him again before wiping the memory from his mind. After much deliberation, he dragged the man to a nearby muggle hospital before lifting the stunning spell. The man looked at him and promptly fainted.

 _Honestly. If he fainted every time a stressful situation presented itself to him, he'd never be conscious._

By that time, witnesses had begun to approach them and the crowd thickened to help the man, he'd slipped away.

* * *

He made his way home with a ringing noise in his ears. He was shaking. He hadn't stopped since he'd dropped the muggle man off at the hospital and it had all crashed down on him at once.

He'd walked right passed where Theo and Hermione, who were waiting for him, not really catching any of the inquiries they tossed at him. He thought; though, that he might have heard Theo offer up some excuse before following him in his room.

 _You have risen_

 _Blood to make kings_

He squeezed his eyes shut.

The man's frantic screams were still echoing in his ears.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

He threw off his jacket, and tugged at his collar, fumbling with the top buttons. Suddenly, it seemed too hot in the confines of his room.

The pain in his head was throbbing, and bits and pieces of a wrecked house kept flooding into his field of vision.

How much longer could he keep doing this? Worrying about whether the Order listened to his information. Worrying about if Potter was actually preparing to fight since he hadn't seen or heard anything about him since he'd sent him on his merry way at Hogwarts. Worrying about Theo. Worrying about Blaise and Pansy. Worrying if his mental blocks would one day fail him and the Dark Lord would kill him on the spot. Worrying about how he was going to get Hermione out of the shit storm that had become London.

His chest tightened once more, and he felt his lungs labor to draw in even the tiniest hint of air.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Draco?"

He felt the other's eyes settle on him before Theo quickly shut the door. Had he left it open in his haste? He honestly couldn't remember.

He shut his eyes, and forced deep gasps of air down his throat.

"What happened mate, when I left…"

"Nothing." He huffed, finally having caught some sort of regular breath.

"I know you, and this doesn't happen unless something sets you off."

"Stop Theo. Stop." He said lowly.

"What did he make you do?"

"Nothing I couldn't fix!" he snapped.

Theo quieted. He huffed, running a shaky hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry." Draco finally murmured, "I didn't mean…"

Theo nodded, stuffing his hands into his trousers.

"I know mate." Theo said softly, "I knew when I signed myself up for this shit."

"I know." He mumbled, stumbling to the edge of his bed before burying his head in his hands. He rubbed his tired eyes and blinked back up at Theo.

Theo gave him a weak smile.

"Gods Theo, I didn't think I had anything left in me to still be so angry and so terrified, but every time that snake bastard proves me wrong." He rubbed his temples, as his migraine intensified.

"That's not a bad thing."

"No." he slumped forward, "But I'm tired Theo. I'm exhausted right down to my bones."

"What happened?" Theo stepped closer.

He flinched instinctively. It made him hate everything that much more when understanding flashed across Theo's face. He stopped, standing some ways in front of him.

"I've been promoted." He tugged at the ends of his hair that brushed at his neck, "And he presented a muggle man to 'celebrate'."

Theo visibly paled, shooting glances at the door.

"Did you…"

"No." He snapped, "I got him out since the bastard just left afterwards. I…He…Bella wanted me to carve him up. She pressed that sick knife into my hands and…" he felt his stomach churn.

"He's done that before, and you've dealt with it and moved on." Theo pursed his lips, "What was different this time?"

 _He called me his heir in all but name._

He felt his heart rate quicken, and he gripped the sides of his head. He shut his eyes, and couldn't stop the groan from passing from his lips.

 _A Prince to his King._

"I'm not." He whispered, vaguely aware that Theo had finally crossed to stand directly in front of him. "I'm not like them." He said, hoping it sounded firmer than he felt. Theo's hands grasped his shoulders.

"You're not." Theo confirmed.

He nodded, but his stomach continued to churn. He looked up and met Theo's eyes. He sighed and dropped his head back down. He really was exhausted, physically and otherwise. The fact that he'd been fighting sleep for a while was certainly catching up with him.

"I think you need to get some much needed rest." Theo finally said, dropping his hands.

"Probably." He said, letting out a shaky breath.

"I'll just tell Granger you're not feeling well." Theo said, pausing at the door.

Hermione. Merlin. He'd forgotten. He ran a hand through his hair. Had she heard? And if she had, did she…

"Draco. You ok?" Theo called out, dragging him away from his unsettling thoughts. He blinked and took another breath, collecting himself before he spoke.

"Yeah." He winced when it came out shaky. "Theo. I…" he bit his lip, "Thank you."

Theo gave him a slight nod before meeting his gaze and sighing. "Just…get some actual sleep for Merlin's sake."

"Ok." He muttered, resting his head in his hands feeling the churning in his stomach intensifying. Theo sighed again before finally stepping out of his room.

When his door clicked shut, he dashed toward the loo, shutting and locking the door behind him. He retched into the toilet for quite a bit before he finally felt like he'd come down from the high the anxiety had pushed him up to. He sighed and rested his head on the cool porcelain. His eyelids dropped, and he sighed. Somehow the floor of the loo had become the most comfortable place in his entire flat.

* * *

Theo left, delivering some feeble excuse that Draco was feeling ill. Even if she hadn't seen the look in his eyes, she wouldn't have believed him. She'd seen him when he'd stumbled back into the flat. Maybe he was ill, but that wasn't all that was wrong.

She stood in front of his door, her hand up ready to knock.

Was she overstepping? He may not want nor need her help, but somehow that thought didn't do much to deter her.

She was as stubborn as he was, and she wanted to… Well, that was a little less clear.

Her arm quickly grew sore. She hadn't exactly fully healed, and the scars were only just closing thanks to the salve Draco had given her the day before.

She bit her lip and knocked, calling out to him. When he didn't respond, she knocked again and still there was no response.

She huffed and pushed open the door.

She found him in his bathroom, sprawled on the ground with his head resting on the edge of the toilet. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was somewhat even, like he was asleep or on his way to getting there.

She should move him, but she was transfixed at the state of him, utterly depleted.

He shifted and let out a soft grunt.

She blinked and moved closer to him, gently touching his shoulder.

Apparently, that was a mistake because his eyes immediately opened, and he clutched her arm tightly.

Her eyes welled with tears at the pain, but she shook them away. "It's me Draco." She said softly. He blinked as his senses adjusted. He immediately dropped her arm in shock.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" he trailed off, shaking his head, but she caught him wince as he tried to stand. She reached for him, but he flinched at her outstretched hand.

"I shouldn't have startled you. It's my fault really."

He shook his head and let out a breath.

"What time is it?" he murmured, finally having stood on his own.

"Not too late."

He took a step forward, steadying himself by grasping at the nearby sink. He shook his head, but she could tell that he was still a bit disoriented.

She reached out again, but he shied away from her touch.

"What's the matter?" She finally asked, frustrated at his actions.

It hurt, cutting deeper than it should. They'd shared so many gentle unguarded motions that seeing him now with all these walls once more was almost crushing. Wasn't it just the night before that he had comforted her after a nightmare? Why did it feel like a lifetime ago?

"It's not you. I…I just need to be..." He seemed to be struggling to try to voice whatever was bothering him. He was fighting against every conditioned response he'd been taught. Don't admit to weakness. Don't show weakness. Don't let the weakness rule you.

There was a bitter laugh caught in his throat. He'd broken them all in front of her, but this was different, darker than what they'd shared just under two years before.

Understanding dawned on her.

"Well then." She stretched her arm out in front of her, "You grab hold."

She waited. After a moment he grasped her arm, and they walked slowly out of the loo. When they were settled on the edge of his mattress, she turned to him.

"You didn't eat before. Are you hungry, or do you want to go back to sleep?"

He licked his lips. "Sleep, but that might be a challenge." He said with a weak smirk.

He dropped his head to rest on her shoulder. His breath was hot but light against her shirt. Oddly, it was comforting.

"He promoted me." Draco whispered.

She was struck dumb by the sound of his voice that she didn't even respond.

"Gods, I don't know why I'm telling you, but something tells me I should. And I… I want you to know. I've wanted to just talk to you for…" he was babbling. He seemed to realize it, because he promptly shut his mouth.

"Our role reversal continues." She said with a weak laugh, "Usually, I babble incessantly."

He shot her a weak smile before letting out a puff of air. She threaded her fingers through his and was pleased when he didn't shy away from the contact.

He lifted his head off her shoulder.

"I don't want you to be under any illusions." He finally said, "I want you to know what I'm capable of."

She ignored the way his voice slightly shook at the back half of his statement.

"This is war. We all have done things we aren't proud of." She could attest to it.

"It's not torture."

She tightened her grip.

"Have you tortured anyone?"

He looked up at her, nodding slowly.

"I get out of it most of the time, but I can't always stop it either." He looked away, extracting his hand from hers.

"And if you did step forward or stop it, what would happen?"

He met her gaze, baring into her.

"You know what." He finally said.

She did, and based on his apprehension at physical contact, punishment had probably happened more times than not. Though not the capital punishment.

 _Thank Merlin for that._

He stood and walked to the window of his room and glanced out at the dark of the night. The light from the half moon, framed his profile and left his hair glowing. It was moments like these that her imagination ran away with her. She swore, sometimes, he looked like the very stars he was named for.

"You're still with us. It's what matters."

It was nearly imperceptible, the small dip of his chin.

"You're infamous now, but I…I'm proud of you Draco. Not many have done what you've done with success."

His jaw unclenched slightly, but his gaze was still fixed out the window.

She wondered about those years that had passed. He'd had Theo and Blaise when he'd been here. Though Blaise wasn't the only one she'd known had contact with assets of the Order. She froze at the train of her thoughts. There was one other person she knew had contact with an informant. Andromeda Tonks.

She hoped for his sake that he'd had contact with her. They were family. They could give each other comfort.

She shook her head to dispel her thoughts before standing to walk toward him. She stopped before him, and after a moment she wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her head between his shoulder blades. He was stiff, but after several breaths, he relaxed against her.

"You can't scare me away you know. I've always known how dangerous you could be." She murmured, "Your magic always seems to be threatening to spill over. It crackles and constantly fights to come out of you."

It was true. Even now, she could feel the hum of it in his muscles, ingrained into every fiber of him.

"But you've never been dangerous to me, or dangerous when it matters most. Not the way you're thinking of at least." She continued. He needed to hear this, and she hoped he'd understand and accept it for once.

He lent his head back and let out a shaky breath.

"And you're dangerous." He said, "Sometimes it scares the hell out of me, the things you can do with your wand."

She tightened her grip while smiling against his back.

"I missed you."

She blinked. She hadn't meant to say it aloud, but the words had come out on instinct. Like it was natural.

He sighed.

Her chest had tightened in wait. This was the moment where he would either join her in her vulnerability or ignore it and plow forward.

 _Remember me like this._

She had. She still did. But, did he remember her?

He turned in her arms to face her.

"I did too." He said quietly.

She lifted her hand, and when he nodded, she gently cupped the curve of his cheek.

"I still miss you now." She murmured, in awe at her boldness, "Because it feels like you're still not here. Not completely."

He furrowed his brows before hesitantly drawing his own arms around her, and burying his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry." He said weakly, "I'm trying, but I'm just a little too lost…"

"Within your own mind." She finished. She bit her lip, "I know the feeling."

"He wanted me to kill a muggle to celebrate my promotion."

She stiffened and pulled away from him.

He bit his lip. "But I didn't. I…I have ways of getting them out. When I have the opportunity, I do. I don't…I don't….can't go out of my way."

He was being honest with her, and maybe it was that fact that was propelling her forward.

"That's all anyone can ask." She finally said, tightening her grip and burying her head in his chest.

 _It's mercy if it's you._

She couldn't say how long they stood there, just wrapped in each other's arms, but it was long enough that he'd whispered a plea for her to stay. She hadn't argued with, unsure if she even wanted too. So, they stumbled to the bed and fall asleep in the same position. Like it would be physically impossible to separate now.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Another long update. As always Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote by Charles Bukowski

* * *

She snuggled closer to the body next to hers. She'd woken to the faint rays on sunlight that had drifted into the room signaling morning, but had not been inclined to get up. Draco was still fast asleep, and, in all honesty, he looked like he needed more. He was restless, even with his eyes shut. Murmurs. Stray words. Groans.

No shouting.

No seizure like jerks.

She was relieved for that at least. If he was seeing anything, at least he wasn't visibly fighting against it.

She sighed happily, content with the warmth his arms provided as she watched his stray hair falling his eyes be disturbed with each quiet breath he took. Funny how in the light, he looked like he was part of the stray beams of sunlight, and in the dark it looked like he was moonlight in physical form.

Uncanny really.

She closed her eyes and listened to the steady drum of his heart.

If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake.

At least, she would have been content to just lounge about when her own slight restlessness was vocalized by a buzzing near her head. She shifted to face the side table and saw Draco's wand vibrating and shooting sparks atop it.

Said wizard seemed to have sensed the disturbance and was gripping her closer to him. He let out a groan, burying his head into the crook of her neck. She stifled a giggle. Still wasn't a morning person unless it was on his terms.

"I don't want to get up." He murmured petulantly against her neck. She shivered at the movement of his lips against her skin.

"It's getting hard to ignore." She murmured back.

He groaned again in response, but lifted his head before reaching his free arm over her to the table and clutching his wand. He muttered a word before tossing it back onto the table and immediately resuming his earlier position.

This time she did laugh.

"Draco."

"Mmm."

"You set that alarm right?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Don't you think it was kind of important?"

"Everyone keeps begging me to sleep, and you want me to get up." He said lifting his head.

He rubbed his face before meeting her gaze with a small smile on his lips. She smiled and instinctively reached out to brush the thin wisps of his hair out of his eyes. Again, the momentary stiffness followed by relaxation against her touch. It took less time. No one would have noticed unless they'd been waiting for it, and she had. But it was progress.

He sighed before rolling off the bed and standing.

His joints popped into place as he stretched out, aching. "Like an old man." He muttered with a small smirk. Morning was always the hardest on his joints. He glanced back to the bed and took her in. She drew up her legs and wrapped her arms atop them.

"Do you have to go to." She paused biting her lip, "to _him_ today?"

He shook his head. "I do have to report. I oversee quite a bit of things now." He ran a hand through his hair. He winced as the dull ache in his head progressed to full out pounding.

"I'll speak to someone about getting you papers, then I have to go pay a visit to someone." He murmured before stepping toward his closet.

Hermione stepped from the bed and followed him, silently watching as he grabbed odd bits of clothing. She wondered if it was her place to say anything, but she found that, as always, her curiosity was more demanding than her apprehension.

"This person you're visiting." She bit her lip, "Is it Andromeda?"

He froze.

"Andromeda." He repeated.

"That's your other liaison, isn't it? She's here in the city." She continued, resisting the urge to squirm beneath his inquisitive gaze.

He paused, licking his lips turning to face her, clothing momentarily forgotten.

"Why do you think that?"

She studied his face and found know traces of anger, though she could see his hesitation to reveal so much. She could understand that, protecting those you cared for above all else. It still twisted like something sharp in her gut that he didn't automatically trust her with it.

But. They'd only been reunited for one day. What could she expect?

 _Not to have to start over from nothing._

She shook her head to dispel the thought before straightening and folding her arms.

"Because she's the only one in the Order who still has contact with an informant." She said in a matter of fact manner.

He nodded before, smirking. His amusement gave her the impression that she'd somehow been tested.

Hermione grinned slightly. She bit her lip, "Can I visit with you?"

The prospect of seeing someone familiar filled her with excitement. She was fortunate to be here with Draco now, but at the same time, a small part of her felt she'd traded one prison for another. If she could go out, even for a moment, it would be worth it.

Draco furrowed his brows, and her heart dropped. He winced before he spoke.

"Maybe some other time. After I've gotten you an unregistered wand, and you can protect yourself."

Seeing her face fall he hastily continued, "But Theo doesn't have duties today. He'll be here to keep you company."

She chewed her lip before nodding in agreement. He had a point. She thought about the pieces of parchment she'd hidden in the guest room. Chances were she could begin working on her translations. If she couldn't leave, at least she could be productive.

"When would Theo be here?"

He let out a sigh, and she watched as the relief briefly flitted across his face.

"Don't expect him before 10 or 11. He's even less of a morning person than I am." He said with a smirk.

She nodded, and he studied her a moment. They were so close, and for a moment she was unsure if he was going to close the remaining distance or simply stand and stare at her.

He dipped his chin in a slight nod, before taking his clothes and disappearing into the bathroom.

She shivered, drawing her arms to hug her sides. Before one hand found its way to her necklace.

 _Because this is something, isn't it?_

Her fingers froze at the pendant in her hands.

She dropped it quickly before stumbling out of the closet, making a beeline to the guest room. She shut the door behind her, before leaning heavily on the frame.

How many times had she re-lived the feel of his mouth in the early morning when she couldn't sleep?

How many times had she chanted prayers to whatever deity was listening that he'd better be alive when she found him again because she needed to relearn every curve of his lips?

Here they were.

Her first night had been traumatizing, finally being freed from that dusty and dank old church, but her 'rescuers', people that she'd known from another lifetime, had been people she wasn't sure she could still trust.

Then, the second night she'd seen an unraveling of Draco Malfoy. Something, she never wanted to see again, but somehow knew that she would.

She let out a breath, clutching onto her necklace like it was her lifeline.

They'd woken up in each other's arms. That had to mean something. After all, it had felt like the most natural thing in the world. No awkwardness. No tension.

But then. She'd done similar things with Harry, when his own mind had become a dangerous battle ground.

Yet, Harry was not Draco. Never would be.

Did he not think of her like that anymore?

She mentally scolded herself.

He was hanging on by thin ropes, scarred as deeply as she was. Was it really right to feel disappointed that they hadn't picked up where they left off?

Then there was the matter of where exactly that was, because if Draco was confusing as hell before, he was now as unreadable as the storm clouds his eyes so greatly resembled.

She shivered. So close. So far.

 _I still miss you now. Because it feels like you're still not here. Not completely._

How true those words seemed to be.

There was a knock, and she startled, nearly tripping over her feet.

"Granger." Draco called through the door. She detected a faint trace of amusement, and couldn't help her own grin from forming at the tone.

"I'm leaving now."

She opened the door and leaned against it. He smiled at her. "You won't be long will you?" she finally said.

"By dinner." He said.

She nodded and let him go.

She waited there for another five minutes after the floo had flashed and taken him with it, then she grabbed her parchment pieces and headed to the study, hoping runes would take her mind over the troubling turn her own thoughts seemed to go to.

* * *

"I hate having to speak to that wanker." Theo muttered as they both walked calmly out of the Ministry.

Draco found himself nodding in agreement. Tobias Crawfield was a slimy bastard, but he spoke in galleons. He never questioned any of Draco's demands, and to be sure, part of that was not only the galleons but each carefully worded threat he issued.

Though, he'd recently become suspicious that Crawfield was not as staunch a supporter of the new regime as he'd been a year and a half ago.

He wondered if it had anything to do with the decrease in 'business' he'd experienced in all that time. After all, bribery could only get you so far if you had no one to bribe.

"I've wasted a small fortune at that bastard. Believe me Theo, I hate him as much as you do." He muttered as they turned and entered the Leaky.

"If he weren't so valuable I'd…." Theo began before his eyes drifted passed him and settled on something across the room.

He followed his gaze and watched as Daphne Greengrass seemed to notice Theo's blatant staring. Her gaze softened as she recognized them before she stood, tossing her honey blonde hair to the side.

The pair of them met her halfway, but for a moment no one spoke.

Draco let his eyes dart between Theo and Daphne. He could see the restraint in Theo that went from his jaw all the way to his tightened fists. Daphne, though, had pasted a happy face that didn't quite reach her eyes.

He hadn't gotten the full story of what exactly had happened between them. Frankly, he didn't think it was his place to ask. Theo had told him; though, that he'd been worried about her. After all, they'd seen the choice that Pansy had been given.

The Dark Lord wanted pureblood marriages and pureblood babies.

The choices had left a foul taste in his mouth.

Breed or fight or die.

"Hello Draco." Daphne said nodding at him with a thin quirk of her lips. "Theo."

Theo looked up at the mention of his name and his gaze softened.

"Daphne." He looked like he wanted to say more, but Draco easily interrupted. The Leaky Cauldron was not the place to have the kind of conversation the two needed.

"How are you?" Draco asked.

Daphne shot him a grateful look. "As well as I can be. Astoria has kept me busy though." She said with a ghost of a smile on her lips, "She actually asked about you the other day."

Draco tried not grimace.

He knew for a fact Astoria had not asked about him, but it was all coming back to the Dark Lord and the society he was crafting.

Theo must have sensed his discomfort because he decided then to finally speak.

"Well give her our regards."

Daphne's eyes darted to Theo, and for a moment, he thought something passed between the two. Theo inclined his head, as though waiting for something. She seemed to ignore the look and instead he found himself once more under the scrutiny of Daphne Greengrass.

"It was good to see you both. Take care." She stressed the last two words before turning and leaving the Cauldron.

Theo stood dumbly looking at the spot Daphne had previously been standing before heading to the bar and promptly ordering a drink.

"It's a bit early isn't it?" he said sliding into a place next to Theo.

"Fuck. Not early enough to stop me." He mumbled throwing back a shot of firewhiskey.

Draco bit the inside of his cheek. He still felt it wasn't his place to interfere. He knew how private they both tended to be over things like this, but…

"What the bloody hell is going on Theo? When you told me, I didn't think it was this…"

"She rejected my token." Theo said softly.

Draco blinked.

"You gave her a token?"

Theo nodded wincing. "My mum's necklace. I…She always told me to give it to the girl…but shit I didn't think she would react so badly."

Draco slumped in his seat.

Theo had given Daphne a token.

Shit.

It was such an old custom amongst the families. Giving a token was the equivalent of a promise to marry in the future. Considering how terrible the idea of a marriage was right now, he couldn't say he was surprised Daphne had panicked and outright rejected it.

"Theo, you do realize how bad it must have looked doing it now. I mean my cheek is still stinging from when Pansy told me just what she thought about it."

Theo blanched. "No…No. I didn't mean it like that. She just took it that way." Theo let out a sigh, "I fucked up."

Draco shook his head.

Theo shot him a rueful smile.

"Daph, she's just. She listens and when I talk with her it's like…it's like the hope I don't think any of us have the right to have."

Draco nodded, his head suddenly incredibly heavy on his shoulders.

"I know." He breathed.

Theo shook his head and stood. "I guess I better pick up some stuff before I head over to the flat."

He raised a brow in question.

Theo snorted. "Really Draco, you have no food. How do you survive?" He turned on his heel and disappeared out toward the entrance to Diagon Alley.

His shoulders slumped before he ordered one more drink and downed it in a single motion.

He still had to go report back in. Somehow the hour wasn't discouraging him from seeking a little liquid courage before he went.

* * *

He dropped off his report and issued the new patrol schedule as quickly as he could. He kept his scowl on his face, and he couldn't help but feel slightly smug when many flinched as he passed. His reputation was a shield.

Though, in many ways, it was the truth.

They should be afraid of him and what he could do.

He left the wing in which many of the Dark Lord's operations were still based out of. He was pleased; though, that for the most part, everything had been shifted out of Malfoy Manor.

 _He wished they were all gone._

He shook his head. It was highly unlikely Voldemort would completely abandon the Manor, not when it was as symbolic as it was strategic. It hadn't been the center stronghold of the pureblood aristocracy for centuries for nothing after all.

He climbed up the steps with a single destination in mind.

The Malfoy Library was for all intents and purposes the greatest wizarding resource the world didn't know about. Generations had contributed to the growing collection. There were books on every and any possible subject. He could attest to that. Before Hogwarts, he'd lived between these shelves.

A big house. Distant and busy parents. Yes, he'd come here more often than not.

 _Especially when his parents were too frightened to even let him leave the house._

He cast a few revealing spells before a dust repellent charm as he wandered into the older shelves of the library.

The Dark Lord had researched for months when he'd returned, it wasn't until Draco had begun to rise in the ranks that he'd become suspicious enough to begin researching himself.

He found the runes section, selecting a few tomes that he promptly shrunk and stowed in his pockets before turning to leave. He paused though, his eye having caught a stray shelf.

Alchemy.

His mother had taken an interest to it once. A phase that she'd gone through, but later abandoned. On instinct, he turned to the shelf and grabbed the title that had caught his eye to begin with.

 _Ancient Magic: The Lesser Known Accounts on the Properties of Alchemy and the First Magic._

He shook his head before shrinking the book and sticking it in his pocket with the rest.

There. He'd gotten what he needed and made sure the patrol schedule had gone up. He was free to go.

He was mid walk, leaving the library, when he felt the tug of the Manor's wards

Blood wards were a tricky thing. Depending on the specifics, you could feel intruders and threats, and sometimes, you could also feel the closeness of another of the blood.

He waited as his father came into view, slow moving and full of purpose. He inclined his head in greeting, which Lucius returned promptly. Formalities. They clung to them as the only semblance of normality.

"You left quickly after your audience with the Dark Lord the other day."

Lord.

A funny word that kept creeping up on him. It had rung in his ears for hours. Lords and kings and princes. As though the world was just one prize ready to be conquered by another. Was that not history though? It brought a slight smirk to his face.

Lord.

The irony of it was not lost. Not when that title had been his since birth, leftover from when the old wizarding families had played in a more feudal role before the Ministry.

His father was still staring at him, and he refused to flinch from it. He looked up, squaring his shoulders.

"I was tired and quite famished after." He said in a bored tone.

His father continued to stare him down.

"Be careful how far you rise, and how quickly you do. There are many here who wish to see us both fall again."

"Yet, how far I rise does not seem to be up to me." He smirked at the recognition that just barely flickered in his father's eyes.

His father glanced about the library with his jaw firmly set. "He honors us with our place."

"It is a place we held regardless of him." Draco shot back.

He was beginning to get annoyed. If his father already knew of the specifics of his conversation than why was he still here?

"He asks that you resume training." Lucius finally said.

"I have been trained." Draco said, sticking his hands deep into his pockets.

Lucius looked up at him, and the emotion in his eyes, struck him still.

"He wishes to teach you more."

And with those words he felt the floor drop from beneath him.

* * *

She closed her eyes in frustration, shutting the runes book in frustration. She sighed and opened them again. Her sheet with scribbled symbols that she'd been able to decipher from the old parchment was hardly filled.

The elemental symbols had been easy, but after that it had taken several flipped pages from two reference book to get the next two symbols. Binding. Verbal or spoken.

She folded it all up and replaced the books back onto the shelf before hiding her parchments away. The clock told her Theo would be due any minute, and she hardly wanted him to see her in the midst of translating anything.

She'd just finished putting away the books, when a knock at the study's door snapped her out of her reverie. She stiffened before relaxing when Theo's head popped through the opening in the doorway.

"Relax. Just me Granger." Theo laughed.

She shook her head and folded her arms. "You startled me."

He rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed on his face as he motioned for her to join him out in the Common room.

She couldn't help the grin on her face as she followed out after him. He deposited himself on an armchair and motioned at the various bags on the coffee table in the room.

"I brought food, seeing as Draco doesn't seem to believe in proper nutrition."

She laughed and sorted through the bags.

"I'm not sure you do either." She remarked pulling out a wide assortment of chocolate and candy.

"I covered all the basics." He said nonchalantly grabbing a box of chocolate and plopping a piece into his mouth.

She rolled her eyes and snatched the box of chocolate from him, holding it hostage for herself.

"Boys." She muttered to herself before grabbing bags and heading toward the kitchen. She heard Theo huff and join her after a moment.

She busied herself putting things away, but her eyes strained to Theo. He seemed more withdrawn than she'd ever seen him. She turned from the cabinet and leaned against the counter.

"What's the matter?"

Theo blinked and looked up.

"What do you mean?" he said.

She shook her head. "You just seem very put off by something."

Theo shrugged, racking his hands through his hair.

"It's alright Theo. I just think you should talk." She shrugged her shoulders.

He took a long look at her before he launched into his explanation, and by the end of it, she couldn't help the slight smile on her lips.

Theo was having girl trouble.

If that wasn't the most normal thing in the world, she didn't know what was. It was funny, honestly, that the world could burn and rise and life would still find a way to go on.

"Give her some time." She found herself saying, "Then talk to her. Explain it all, and I'm sure it'll work out."

Theo gave her an incredulous look before nodding and muttering to himself.

She grinned at his antics before she was struck by a thought.

Her advice had been easy to give and yet her she was in nearly the same situation and….

"Knut for your thoughts." Theo said snapping her back into reality.

She bit her lip. Theo was Draco's friend and that alone offered her two possible realities. She could confide in him and he could offer her his interpretations on the matter, or he would tell Draco.

Though somehow, she got the impression that if you told a secret to a Slytherin, they wouldn't go around repeating it unless the situation asked for it.

She grimaced.

Theo's brow rose.

"Come on Granger, I don't bite. Don't tell me that Gryffindor courage thing is a myth, and that you're actually afraid of telling a sneaky snake a secret. It would just be disappointing if I've been misled for our entire acquaintance."

"Ass." She muttered, which prompted Theo to burst out laughing.

"Granger." He settled into his chair, "I think we'll get along brilliantly."

She let out a sigh and smiled ruefully. "I was just thinking about how this fear of being honest about…well everything; feelings and what not, that seems to be common in all you snakes."

Theo was silent, but his eyes seemed completely focused on her.

"I mean we're all people, and you can't just push and pull and manipulate and deny everything… push it beneath the surface and…."

"Breathe Granger." Theo said standing and taking her arms by the wrist into his hands.

She took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She hadn't meant to go on a rant but Merlin, it had all just come spilling out of her.

"What's happened in the time I've been gone?" She asked looking up to meet Theo's eyes. "I…He wasn't this withdrawn and I didn't think he'd ever…" Flinch away from her and become even more of an enigma than he already was.

Theo shook his head.

"What happened after I left?"

"I went to check on him." She looked away from Theo and dropped her eyes to focus on her hands.

"He was sprawled out on the bathroom floor, and I just wanted to get him back into bed."

She chewed her lip and stole a glance at Theo, who looked slightly bothered.

"He flinched away from me."

It was still nagging at the back of her mind. It was just so uncharacteristic of him. He'd always been confident and sure in his movements and to see him without control, even momentarily, shattered the foundation in which she foolishly wanted to view the world. Even this morning, knowing that he'd spent the night sleeping with his arms draped around her, he'd flinched the moment her hands had reached out to him.

Why?

Everything kept circulating back to that single word.

"He warmed back up to me though." She murmured, "Didn't flinch after a while or at least not noticeably."

"Yeah. I figured he would. He trusts you not to hurt him implicitly."

She looked up and met Theo's gaze.

"And he doesn't trust you?" She felt her throat close.

"I think his mind gets ahead of him, and," Theo paused, breaking contact, "we all look a little too much like our fathers."

Theo looked grim before shaking his head. "But that's not what's bothering you Granger."

"I…" She took a breath, "I guess I'm just confused. One minute it's like we're still back in the Head's dorm and the next I'm left wondering if maybe it's too foolish to think we can ever go back to…"

She blinked, unsure if she really wanted to finish that thought.

She stole a glance at Theo who had a smug expression on his face.

"I knew something had happened between the two of you."

She felt her cheeks heat.

Theo snorted, settling back into his chair.

"I think you might need to take your own advice Granger." He looked thoughtful for a moment before running a stray hand through his hair. She had a moment to be envious of the way the waves of his tresses fell back neatly into place at the end of the motion.

"Although, it might be a bit harder for you than me. After all, Draco's always had a misplaced sense of nobility. I blame all those ridiculous family expectations on that."

Theo winced taking in her expression. He seemed about to amend his statement, but she quickly beat him to it.

"Nobility." She hissed, "Am I not noble enough for him, because I'm,"

"That's not it." Theo interrupted. He bit his lip for a moment, and it seemed as though he was debating whether or not to tell her something.

"He doesn't deserve you."

She froze. Absolutely struck dumb at that revelation from such an unexpected source.

She finally found her voice. "Some people would argue the opposite." Considering the war they were fighting, it seemed more painfully evident than anything else.

"But that argument doesn't matter to him." Theo cocked his head.

She licked her lips.

"The arguments shouldn't matter at all." She whispered.

Theo nodded, with a soft smile playing at his lips.

"But Draco's stubborn. You have to pull him out of his own mind for his own good."

How? Considering the way his head was being pulled in so many different directions, how could she drown all of it out and help him focus on the things that should matter, instead of those that shouldn't?

She sunk into a chair beside Theo, and she felt him wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"I don't even know if he,"

"He does." Theo said meeting her gaze.

She bit her lip as her stomach warmed at Theo's confirmation.

She was about to ask how he could be so sure when she caught him looking oddly at her eyes.

"Your eyes have green in them." He looked troubled, almost haunted by that fact.

She blinked and shied away from his embrace.

Her eyes did have green in them, and truth be told the first time she'd noticed it, she'd been scared out of her mind. Eye color didn't just change for no reason. It had prompted hours of research and the only conclusions she'd been able to come by was that it must have been triggered by the plethora of Dark Magic exposure she'd undergone.

She shivered instinctively and felt her arm itch at her scar.

Things like that…they always left marks.

Theo opened his mouth to speak when they were met with the roaring of the Floo.

She glanced toward the sole clock in the kitchen and paled. It was too soon for Draco to be back.

Theo seemed to arrive at this same conclusion, because he stood with a frown on his face. He motioned for her to remain quiet as he walked slowly toward the living room.

"Draco?"

The voice was from a life time ago. Her eyes met with Theo's, and she saw her own panic mirrored on his face. He motioned for her to stay in the kitchen before he quickly turned toward the voice.

"Pansy?" Theo called, stepping quickly to meet the girl out near the fireplace.

"Theo what are you doing here?"

She edged toward the living room.

"I could ask you that same question Pans. When did you get back into the city?"

"The other day."

She heard Pansy step out of the living room. Her footsteps faded, heading toward the bedrooms.

"Is Draco here? I think I...I needed to talk to him." Pansy said firmly.

"Well he isn't here. He has duties all day."

The two were silent, and Hermione took the opportunity to peer into the room.

Pansy had her arms crossed and was staring Theo down. She ducked her head back. Pansy sighed.

"Fine Theo, but tell him we will talk."

Theo sighed. "I will, but truly Pans. Give him time. You were both so heated during that debate. You know he didn't mean…"

"Oh save it Theo. You know this is just Prince Draco throwing a royal tantrum, because I didn't agree to his demands. It was my choice, and I will live with consequences, so Draco needs to get his head out of his ass and learn to live with it." Pansy exclaimed.

She stomped away, and Hermione heard the Floo roar back to life and in seconds Pansy was gone.

Theo came back in, and she folded her arms and stared him down.

The situation she'd been thrown into since she'd been found by Draco and Theo had just gotten exponentially more complicated.

* * *

 _The tired sunsets and the tired people - it takes a lifetime to die and no time at all._

Funny. Funny how his thoughts were so easily voiced by poets long dead and from a world vastly different then his own. It certainly embodied how he felt at the moment. His feet moved on their own accord, barely dragged, as he continued down Diagon Alley. His path eventually led to a familiar worn door.

He knocked slowly, leaning heavily on the frame.

His eyes shut.

Bellatrix had worked him dry. He didn't even try to disarm the wards on his own. He doubted he had the energy to even manage a simple Alohomora. The door eased open and one look from the individual behind the door, and he was whisked in without a word.

They walked in familiar silence until they'd reached the middle of the simple flat. She turned back to him then, and appraised him, still in silence.

He resisted the urge to squirm under the inquisitive gaze. He should be used to it by now. In fact, the manner in which she conducted her study, was familiar. His mother had done it exactly the same.

She let out a displeased sigh.

"Sit down Draco, dear. A soft breeze is likely to knock you over in this state."

He didn't hesitate to drop onto the sofa.

She shook her head.

"I'll be back with tea."

"Thank you Dromeda."

He threw off his cloak and relaxed into the cushioning. He closed his eyes, though a faint smile tugged at his mouth when he felt another presence join him.

He waited until said person tentatively poked him before he reached out and immediately grabbed the tiny body and holding him hostage in his arms.

"And what have I got here?" He peeked beneath his lashes.

Teddy squirmed in his arms. "Drak-o lemme go."

"You should know better than to sneak up on me." He chided, squeezing his arms closer together. Teddy retaliated by kicking, and finally, he relented and dropped his arms. Teddy slid down from his lap.

The little guy crossed his arms. "You didn't visit for a long time."

He sighed. "I know."

He didn't bother coming up with an excuse. It wasn't like Teddy would appreciate it. He smirked. He'd been the exact same at his age.

Teddy studied him for a moment before shrugging, and joining him on the couch. He pulled out his Quidditch figurine and began prattling off what the other members of the house had been doing in his absence.

He smiled and nodded at the appropriate places. At this point, he was used to his cousin's incessant chatter. It seemed he bottled it up and had to unload the minute they met again.

He felt a pang of guilt that it wasn't often.

"Teddy, love." Andromeda emerged from the corner of the flat clutching two cups of steaming tea.

"Why don't you go decide on a book for bedtime?"

Teddy shot off the couch, protests on his tongue that were immediately silenced by a look from Andromeda.

He bit his tongue to contain the laugh that threatened to break free of him.

When Teddy scuttled off to his room, his laughter was replaced by a sharp pang in his gut. The nostalgia struck him dumb. With Teddy's hair changed to match his own and the manner in which he was sent away, it was like a memory of his played out before his eyes.

He felt his Aunt's gaze settle on him, and he let the emotion fall off his face before gratefully accepting the mug.

"How are the others?" He inquired politely.

Andromeda took a sip of her tea before responding.

"Well. Stir crazy, but that's to be expected." She paused before she met his eyes.

 _The same color as Mother's._

He grimaced at the thought, and covered it with a move to rub his left temple.

He took a quick sip of his own tea to avoid the sympathy that no doubt lay in his Aunt's eyes.

When he'd first begun spying for the Order, he'd had quite a few outlets to pass information along, his aunt included. He hadn't known how to act around her, and had avoided her to spare himself the awkwardness. But after the battle, well, he'd sought her out. Found her hidden in Diagon Alley.

One look into her eyes, and he'd broken down.

He swallowed roughly, grimacing at the burning of the hot tea as it slid down his raw throat.

"Are you alright Draco?"

He tore himself from his musings to give her a weak smile. "Tired." He said truthfully, before taking one last sip of his tea before setting it to the side.

"I assume you have news then."

He nodded before dully recounting the new patrols as well as the discovered Order safe houses. She hummed a response as he went through the locations, nodding every once and awhile.

He paused then, unsure how best to phrase the new development in his monotone existence.

"I found something."

Andromeda's brow rose.

"Your project?"

He shook his head. He had no intention of mentioning whatever translations he managed to uncover until he was sure of what they meant. Though, that didn't stop Andromeda from inquiring about them in the most off-handed manner that she could muster whenever they met.

"No." He bit the inside of his cheek, "I found something the Order may have lost rather recently."

Andromeda frowned before her eyes widened in understanding.

"Safe." He murmured, "I won't say anything more than that. Otherwise, we'd have a handful of foolhardy rescue attempts that will only result in losses the Order can't afford to have."

Andromeda looked as though she wanted to argue, before numbly nodding her head.

She would understand. The need for thought and careful planning. She was a Black. She had been a Slytherin. She knew how to weigh each thought with what it was due.

He moved to stand when the sound of light footsteps drew his attention to the stairs leading to the second floor.

A light haired girl stepped tentatively into the room.

"I'm sorry Dromeda, but he's asking if Draco will read to him." She turned to him at the mention of his name and gave him a slight nod in greeting.

"Abbot." He inclined his head.

She shook her head. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you to just call me Hannah." She muttered before turning to Andromeda.

He stood quickly, ignoring the way his bones ached at the motion. "We're finished." He said before stealing one look at his aunt. She dipped her chin lower. He returned the gesture before darting up the steps to Teddy's room.

The toddler in question was sitting with a book clutched in his hands. Seeing Draco enter and sit beside him, he broke out into a grin.

They read a short story, but he couldn't say he remembered any of it. It seemed one moment his cousin was changing his features to match the characters, and the next he was curled into his side fast asleep. Envious of his slumbering state, Draco had caved to the urge to simply close his eyes and relax for a moment.

* * *

It felt like a measly second had passed when he felt the weight in his arms shift. He blinked up and was met with a dark head bent over him, taking Teddy's weight off his arm and chest.

She hadn't realized he'd woken. Her eyes were fixed on the part of his arm that had been exposed from beneath the sleeve of his shirt. He shifted, and her inquisitive eyes settled on his face.

"I thought you'd stopped that behavior a long time ago." Andromeda said with a hint of disappointment. She shifted the still sleeping Teddy in her arms. She glanced once more at the new set of scars on his left forearm.

"I did." He murmured, "These were punishment." He replaced his sleeve and stood, straightening his clothes before watching Andromeda replace Teddy in his bed and tuck him in snuggly.

They walked silently from the room, lingering in the hall outside of the bedroom.

She regarded him again before motioning him to follow her. She had him wait by her bedroom door and in minutes she was pressing a familiar piece of wood into his hand.

"Thank you." He said after a moment.

She let out a soft sigh.

"Keep safe."

"You know I never do." He teased, hoping to dispel the thick air that had settled between them.

"Unruly child." She smirked, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other to comb through his sleep mussed hair. "You don't get nearly enough food or rest." She shook her head before planting a chaste kiss on his forehead.

He shook his head and pulled away from her touch.

"Until next time Andromeda."

"Draco."

"Aunt Andromeda." He corrected before slipping his new acquisition into his pocket and slipping back out into Diagon Alley.

* * *

It was well into the night before her body won out and she drifted fitfully into sleep. She'd wanted to wait up and confront Draco when he finally managed to get back, but Theo had argued with her that it was a lost cause. Despite his protests, he had sat with her, and, she was fairly certain, he'd had been the one to carry and place her in the bed that she was currently in.

She sighed, staring up at the ceiling, straining her ears to catch any hint of sound from the rest of the flat.

It was too easy; much too easy to fall back into this pattern. Waiting and worrying.

She kicked off her covers and twirled her hair into a loose bun before stepping tentatively out into the hall.

She realized then, what it was that had woken her. To the side of the living room was a partially hidden door out to a balcony that was now pushed open. She watched the figure sitting out in the cool air and how another joined him.

"You don't have to worry if I'm going to jump." Draco's voice was low. She had to strain to hear it, but she heard it all the same. "As I recall that was you."

Theo shook his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"You're right. I worry about whether you've slit your wrists too deep yet."

Her throat tightened. The tone was light, but the words in and of themselves were terrifying.

"Good thing we both don't have anything to worry about anymore." Draco finally said, leaning on the railing of the balcony.

She hugged her sides, completely captivated, but wanting to step forward and not just listen to it in the shadows.

"How was the visit?"

"Shorter than I wanted it to be. I didn't get there till late. Bella held me up."

That name, as always forced a shiver down her back.

"Doing what?" Theo asked.

"More training."

Draco took a step away, but swayed and nearly stumbled.

She stepped forward then. Both heads turned in sync at the sounds of her footsteps, and for a moment, she was pleased that she'd finally succeeded at sneaking up on them.

She caught Draco by his arm, and after he'd relaxed in her grip, she led him to the couch.

He sighed, stretching out on the cushioning. Then, he dug into his pockets and when he pulled out an object that brought a gasp to her lips.

She took the wand reverently from his hand.

"How did you…"

"I like to be prepared for every possibility." He said leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

Her fingers played along the wood, feeling her magic throb for the first time in a little over half a year. She hummed as she explored the wand, finding that while it wasn't a true match, it lent itself well to her.

"Congrats Hermione, you've got your magic back." Theo murmured before dipping his head and heading to the Floo.

They sat silent as she lit the wand's tip with a simple lumos.

"Thank you." She said, tears welling into her eyes.

He shook his head, finally opening his eyes and leaning closer to her.

"It was nothing."

"No." she shook her head, "None of this has been nothing."

It was hard to say what this she was referring too.

They were inches from each other.

He pulled away.

"No." she gently clasped the edges of his face, "Don't be noble. Fuck. Don't be noble."

She noticed his amusement at her swearing, but it was soon lost as she pressed her lips to his. He froze beneath her, and she wondered if she'd been too brash too fast.

He seemed to sense that pause, and as though he was reading her thoughts, he pulled her into his lap and took control of the kiss.

She tilted her head up, and he brushed his teeth against her lips at the motion before recapturing her lips with his.

When they finally broke away, both out of breath, and perhaps a little frozen in shock, he took his hands and pressed them against the edges of her face.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Draco." She interrupted him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Shut up."

He smirked before tiredly dropping his forehead to rest on hers.

"You are trouble." He murmured, "So much fucking trouble."

She tightened her grip around his neck.

"So are you." She whispered back before planting a kiss at his temple. "But I want it. Merlin knows how much I tried not to."

He sighed in content as he buried his head in the crook of her neck and her fingers immediately went to stroke through his hair.

After a few minutes, she stopped and stepped off his lap, pulling him up to stand.

"You need sleep." She lightly led them both into his room. She moved to leave, when his hands gripped hers.

"Stay." His expression was unreadable except for his eyes, which were filled with the vulnerability he always shoved down deep beneath the surface. "If we're going to do this." He gestured between them, "You should know I don't do anything by halves."

"I think you're too tired for…" she flushed, "for _that_."

He frowned before letting out a loud laugh. "No…Oh gods no." he bit his lip, another laugh on the verge of escaping, "Though I like the way you think Granger."

Her blush deepened.

He pressed a feather light kiss to her cheek. "I meant stay and sleep here."

"Oh."

A vocabulary filled with enough words and phrases to make a dictionary jealous, and she was reduced to monosyllabic sounds.

He laughed lightly before stripping down to his boxers and grabbing an old Slytherin sweatshirt, nimbly slipping into it.

When she remained transfixed to the floor, he took her arms before pushing her onto the bed.

She startled, fully about to retaliate, when he fell beside her and drew her closer. Her ire was completely forgotten at the feel of his chest pressed against her.

"We're going to talk about…about everything, just so you know." She whispered.

His low laugh rumbled from his chest and hummed into her ear.

"Oh I know." He murmured near her shoulder, though his words were immediately broken by a yawn.

"Tomorrow." He mumbled, tossing the sheets over them.

She hummed in agreement and fell asleep listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Thank you for everyone who reviewed. I love reading everyone's thoughts. As a little incentive, I've decided that if I receive at least 10 reviews on this update then I will upload the next chapter in 2 days. So, Review!Review!Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote in chapter by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

* * *

It was cold when she woke. Her brain was still sleep addled but her senses were not. It was a sharp contrast from when she'd first fallen asleep. She lifted her head and found the other side of the bed empty. She stretched and turned into the sheets and on impulse took in a long breath.

His scent still clung to the fabric, and the familiar pine was now wound with a strong scent of spice; apple only a faint thread in the mix.

The memories stirred, and she smiled slightly at simpler times before pushing up to her feet. Her eye caught the wand sitting on the bedside table.

 _Her wand._

She smiled lightly before grasping it and heading out down the hall.

The balcony door was propped open again and Draco was sitting on the ground with a book propped on his knees. It was warmer today, November's last hurray before winter was rushed in. The sun was still peeking through the dark, but the few rays that shone were lightly dancing across the wisps of his hair.

It tugged at her chest.

He had looked up the moment her feet had edged into the living room. He knelt his head back and in one quick motion she saw him cast a spell around the balcony.

Protective spells.

Disillusionment spells.

Did it matter?

She stepped onto the balcony and sat beside him, stealing a glance at the book in his hand.

Shakespeare again.

She gave him a soft smile, before putting her hand out to the dark blemishes under his eyes. Faded, but only slightly. She was pleased that he didn't flinch at her touch.

 _Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world's weight he had never chosen to bear._

"Say something." He finally said, raising a solitary brow. "I know you want too."

She hummed in agreement, letting her head rest on the rail.

"Where does this leave us?" She whispered after a moment.

"I don't know." He admitted, before rubbing his temple.

"But I do know that you and I is something I've thought about since Hogwarts. I wanted it then. Salazar, I did, but I wasn't sure I could keep it hidden. Now, I'm sure,"

"That you can keep him out of your head." She finished.

He nodded after a moment.

"And I wasn't sure I'd be able to leave if we did." He murmured.

She turned away from his hard eyes, and lifted the book from his hands into her own.

"You should know I don't do things by half either." She said, cradling the book in her lap.

"You have to be open with me. I can't go through other people to try to figure out what's going on with you."

His eyes narrowed. "What has Theo been telling you?"

"What are you worried Theo would be telling me?" She shot back.

He frowned, another retort dancing at the tip of his tongue, before his anger deflated. He shook his head before resting it on the railing.

"If you knew everything, I don't think you'd want to stay." He finally said.

She cocked her head. His eyes caught hers.

"It's my choice." She bit her lip, "Besides, I just might surprise you."

He smirked, looking away from her and out toward the street below them. His jaw tightened after a moment, but he didn't turn back to her.

"I expect the same." He murmured.

"Of course."

He shook his head, a faint smirk playing at the edges of his mouth.

"I'm not very easy to deal with." He said, "Most of the time I don't know how to deal with myself."

She smiled slightly before leaning over and pecking him lightly on his lips.

"I have a feeling I know what I'm getting into."

He laughed, dropping his forehead to lean on hers. He was watching her eyes. "They have green in them." He murmured, "They didn't have green before."

She shook her head, while still keeping their foreheads touching. She didn't trust herself to speak. She honestly wasn't sure what she would say if she did.

"Still beautiful," He murmured before his breath hitched then, and she saw him grimace before rubbing his forehead.

"Are they…"

"I KNEW someone was here with Theo!"

They shot to their feet.

Pansy was standing near the balcony door with her arms crossed, and a clear look of triumph on her face.

Quiet settled between them, except for the slight shuffling of Draco's feet as he came to stand beside her. She bit her lip in apprehension, waiting for Pansy to make a move.

Pansy frowned, noticing for the first time the clear fear on their faces. Her eyes widened in realization.

"I'm not going to tell if that's what you're worried about."

Pansy came out on the balcony, her bright eyes passed over her before a tired sigh escaped her lips.

"Welcome back to London Granger."

Before she could comment, the girl had turned to Draco with an eyebrow raised.

"We need to talk."

Draco scowled, but was saved from speaking when Pansy reached out and dragged them both back into the flat. Once inside, she dropped Hermione's hand and pushed Draco onto a chair before standing defiantly in front of him.

"Avoiding me ends now. We are going to talk and put all of this behind us."

Draco sighed, rubbing his temples.

"What do you want Pans?" he said tiredly.

"An apology." Pansy's brow rose in expectation, "For trying to meddle in my life."

"I have nothing to apologize for. I was giving you an out." Draco was suddenly on his feet, towering over the other girl.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy. You know very well that wasn't what it was." Pansy's voice rose, "Honestly, it is my life too. Do you think I would do something as ill-thought out as getting engaged to avoid…"

"You wanted to before." Draco said harshly.

Pansy froze and snapped her head back to face him.

Hermione turned her eyes away and found herself inching toward the kitchen.

It felt wrong to somehow hear such a private conversation. Theo had explained these new decrees. It was vile and utterly deplorable, but then, she hardly expected less from such a despicable person to begin with. Yet, looking at the outright fury on Pansy's face and the cool anger radiating from Draco, she could only imagine how it had felt to be one of those personally affected by the stipulations.

And how far someone may go for another, especially if they understood the life they'd be signing up for if they refused.

She shot a look to Draco, and then she ducked into the kitchen.

* * *

Draco watched her go, thankful for the small bit of privacy afforded. His eyes snapped back to Pansy, who was holding her own learned mask in place rather well. That is, except for her eyes. She was fuming. Though, she seemed to let go of the pent up anger a second later.

"And you know how hard it was for me to move passed that. Neither of us liked how we were together." Pansy's voice was low, and dangerously cold.

"Besides." Pansy dipped her head, her dark hair forming a curtaining her face. "I'm not like that anymore, and you certainly never were."

Draco reached out and lifted Pansy's head up by her chin. "I was just trying to protect you."

"It was my choice, and it worked out ok. I didn't get the Mark."

"Dammit Pansy. This isn't exactly a better alternative."

"Then you should have just said that, instead of shutting me out for weeks."

"Fuck Pans, I couldn't stop Theo, and I wanted to at least save someone. I didn't want you to ever get anywhere near this."

His hands racked through his hair, tugging in frustration. A soft hand clasped over his arm. Her dark eyes bore into his, and his mind went back to the only other witch he'd ever met that looked at him like that. Grandmother Parkinson, on the 3 occasions he'd met her, had been able to simply unravel him with one simple flash of her dark eyes on his. Like she could sense torment and offer her understanding. Pansy, it seemed had inherited that along with the almond shape of her eyes and the roundness of her face that spoke of the far east heritage that her family hailed from.

Pansy had always been perceptive. It had only been recently that he'd found she'd grown uncannily wise in her own way.

"Better the brand on my back than the Mark on my arm." Pansy whispered, dropping her hand to give his a squeeze.

He nodded once.

"It was your choice, but I wish you hadn't made it."

It was as close to an apology she was going to get, and Pansy seemed to realize it. She inclined her head, a flicker of amusement in her eyes, before she turned completely toward the kitchen.

"Hermione Granger trapped in London and hiding out in Draco Malfoy's flat. I didn't see that coming." She mused.

"I certainly didn't." he said, and he couldn't stop the tugging at the corners of his mouth from quirking up slightly.

Pansy glanced at him for a moment before smirking.

"You would know wouldn't you?"

* * *

When it quieted in the living room, Hermione wasn't sure if it was because they'd actually reached some sort of understanding or if it meant one of them was stunned or dead.

Either was equally probable.

She bit her lip.

Those two argued much like she and Ron had. At the thought, her vision filled with images of the red head. She missed him, missed all of them. She shook her head, as though to dispel the guilt and longing. They were fine. She was fine. Once everything settled and she had a plan, she would be able to get back to the resistance.

Her eyes wandered on their own accord back to the kitchen's doorway.

If she left, would she be able to leave Draco.

 _No._

It was innate, like it required no thought at all.

If he would come with her was the trickier question.

She sighed and leaned against the counter.

"We're done arguing, so you can come out now."

She straightened and regarded Pansy wearily.

The girl was leaning against the wall of the doorway with her dark head inclined and watching her with a bemused expression on her face.

"Relax Granger. I have no intention of turning you over to the Dark Lord."

"No. That was just Harry."

The minute the words left her mouth, she wanted to slap herself. Damn her instinct for always being on the defense.

To her surprise, Pansy laughed.

"I panicked, and let's just say I'm not proud of it." Pansy said, still in good humor.

Unsure what to say, she nodded her head, hoping it conveyed some sort of acceptance.

It seemed to, based on how Pansy entered the kitchen fully and began rummaging through the cabinets.

She felt him when he entered, even though her back was turned. She always could, probably a conditioned response for waiting up for him every time he left.

He slipped passed her and joined Pansy, pulling out a pot and pan and a variety of ingredients from the icebox.

He flicked his wand, and the stove came to life.

Was he cooking?

"He's surprisingly good." Pansy said handing her a cup of tea, "No up and coming chef, but he's got the basics down."

The answer to her own thoughts was a bit unsettling. Was she that easy to read, or was it some innate ability that every Slytherin seemed to learn. Draco, Blaise, Theo, and Pansy all seemed to have mastered it. She bit her lip and watched as Draco moved with practiced ease around his kitchen.

She could see how he might have picked it up rather quickly. It wasn't too different from potions, and lord knows he was always good at that.

"Well, it was learn or starve." Draco drawled as he watched his cooking spells attentively.

She felt her brow rise, still in partial disbelief at the scene before her.

"No house elves?" she asked.

"They would owe partial allegiance to father. I think you can understand why that would pose a problem." He said.

She could, but was impressed that he'd sacrificed a familiar comfort that he'd known since infancy and supplemented it with acquiring a skill. Heavens knows, most people wouldn't have.

The food was good, as Pansy had alluded to.

He didn't eat much, seemingly lost in thought as his fork toyed with the eggs on his plate.

"Draco." Pansy tapped him lightly after a few minutes.

He blinked for a moment before looking up.

"Eat."

He scowled, but obliged. It made her wonder how often this routine had played out for the command to not be met with an argument. Often, it seemed, since while he'd filled out, the fact that he was still marginally underweight was blatantly obvious.

"So what did I walk in on?"

Draco choked.

For Hermione's part, she was thankful she wasn't still eating.

Pansy smirked, taking an idle sip from her mug.

Their eyes met, and she stammered unable to form a complete sentence much less a thought. Draco seemed to recover faster, because he immediately launched a defense.

Pansy scoffed.

"Save it Draco. I'm neither stupid nor blind. It's not as though I'm surprised." Her inquisitive eyes drifted between them. "Besides, the Winter Ball 7th year was a complete give away."

"I did not sign up for an interrogation this morning Pans." His cheeks were tinged with a slight pink, and she could feel her own hot as well.

Pansy grinned gleefully. "I see. Is it still new? Official official. Official unofficial?"

Pansy's eyes widened as she studied their faces, and to her horror, the girl began laughing.

"I walked in on THE conversation then."

"Pansy." Hermione finally managed to speak. "Whatever is or isn't going on between Draco and I…"

Pansy waved her off. "Fine. Fine. I'm done. But Theo totally owes me 10 galleons now."

"Pansy!" Draco stood up. He moved to push away from the table, when he staggered, a hand immediately pressed at his temple.

Before she knew it, she was up, with Pansy just at her side.

Draco took a breath before regaining his balance. There was a flash of annoyance on his face as he muttered to himself. His hand still pressed to his forehead, rubbing in circles.

Pansy, seeing that he wasn't in any danger of toppling over seemed to be debating whether to scold him or comfort him.

"You haven't been taking the migraine potions." Scolding then. It was almost funny, Pansy, who stood a good two inches less than her, fiercely staring down 6'3" Draco. She'd never seen Pansy so…maternal. Hermione bit her lip, both to keep the smile threatening to overtake her as well as to prevent her own questions from interrupting.

"I have." Draco grumbled, pulling out a vial filled with what looked like small green tablets.

She frowned, and found her expression mirrored on Pansy's face.

"I finally figured out how to capsulate them. Easier to carry around this way." He said, placing the vial back into his pocket.

It took a second for her to comprehend just what Draco had done. Potions were so tricky, their medium and delivery system could radically change how it was absorbed and it's desired effects. Capsulating them must have taken a lot of experimentation.

"That's amazing." She murmured, more to herself than to them.

Though, once she spoke, she felt two pairs of eyes settle on hers. She shuffled nervously beneath their gazes. "I just…capsulating potions. I'd never considered the benefits of figuring out how to do that."

She looked up to find Draco smirking, obviously proud that she'd admired his efforts.

It was ruined when he winced again, his eyes glazed over. It was obvious he was being pulled to some corner of his mind. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath.

She could see the moment he was about to lose balance before it happened. Probably a result from having experienced it all sometime before. It was familiar, and it caused knots to form in her gut.

She threaded her arm beneath his shoulder, propping him up as Pansy took his other side.

They led him out to a seat that he gratefully fell down to take. He sighed and opened his eyes slowly.

"I think you need to go back to bed." She said, unconsciously combing her hands through his hair.

 _To actually have the vision you're fighting against._

Pansy was frowning as she looked between the two of them. It was obvious that she suspected that they were skirting around her. But, if Draco hadn't told her yet, she wasn't going to be the one to say. It was his secret, his business. He should at least have control over that.

Draco nodded after a moment.

"Probably." Draco said with a weak smile.

Pansy bit her lip before a determined look crossed her face. "Well, to be honest, I was surprised you were awake when I got here. I heard you trained yesterday."

Draco merely nodded before slowly standing. When he didn't immediately topple over, he took a tentative step toward his bedroom. He half turned, fixing his gaze on Pansy. He furrowed his brows after a moment, while Pansy simply looked amused.

"Don't worry." The girl finally said, "I'll keep Granger company while you nap."

Draco grumbled something, before he nodded and cast her one last look.

She watched him stumble to his room and when the door shut, she found herself sinking into the couch seat that he'd just vacated.

She turned back to Pansy, who was still drilling her gaze into her.

They had so much between them, and it was obvious they both expected to interrogate the other for whatever bits of information that could be gleaned. It was remarkable that they hadn't already begun a whirlwind of questions.

Yet, Pansy wasn't Theo or Blaise, both of which she considered friends. No Pansy was a former rival. Her polar opposite. But now that they stood alone, each with their eyes trained on the other, she wondered if that was still true. Pansy was no bookworm, but she was sharp and quick witted.

 _She also cared about Draco._

It was that last thought that sparked a pang in her chest.

Pansy let out a sigh, and Hermione refocused her attentions on the present rather than her musings.

"Did you…did you take the mark?" Hermione asked then. Seeing Pansy's face, she immediately tried to clarify her question. "I mean, you didn't…you didn't get married so I assume that you had to."

The other girl looked at her with her head tilted to the side. Hermione could practically see the cogs of her mind turning, evaluating the pros and cons of opening up and sharing bits and pieces of her life. Evidently, the pros must have outweighed the cons, because Pansy let out another sigh before she continued speaking.

"Mark of obedience, but not the Dark Mark." Pansy reached her arm and pointed to a particular area of her back, near her shoulder blades.

"It's right there. Pain for disobedience and for when he wants to summon me." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "But I'm not bound to him, so I consider that a small victory."

Hermione nodded, silently agreeing with her.

"Why'd you get that instead of…" Her voice trailed off.

Pansy snorted, amused at her discomfort. "Why didn't he just force me to become a Death Eater?"

Hermione nodded meekly.

"Because he knew it wasn't out of desire or loyalty. I wanted out of a marriage that was designed for one purpose, breeding." Pansy said with disgust.

A brand of humiliation. He'd refused her the status of entering the inner circle, but he'd found a way to still ensure her loyalty. Clever. Even if it gave her the strong urge to vomit.

She shook her head and waited. The bare minimum of her questions had been answered, and frankly, that's all she was going to ask. Pansy owed her nothing. It was surprising that she'd even disclosed this much information.

"My turn." Pansy mused a thin smirk on her face.

The look reminded Hermione of a lion who'd corned its prey.

Or perhaps a snake who'd finally caught its next meal.

Pansy's smirk widened as she examined her face. "You and Draco."

"Yes." Hermione muttered, feeling her face heat up at the implication in Pansy's tone. Though, she found she would not be denying it. Her and Draco. It sounded quite beautiful in her mind.

"Is this going to be your warning for me?" Hermione said then, unable to keep the slight amusement at the idea out of her tone.

She knew that while their conversation had been interrupted, the fact remained that they'd both admitted to their feelings. Even if their exact label was somewhat confusing, there was something there. It had sparked something fierce in her heart. She was as tethered to him as he was to her, and the thought of it didn't bother her in the slightest.

The only thing that still whispered doubt into her ear had nothing to do with the emotions between them. Instead, she was worried that he would always keep himself at an arm's length away. He still hadn't lain everything out in the open. While she wasn't asking to know everything, there were things he needed to tell her. She'd told him earlier. She wouldn't accept having to learn about him through others. He'd have to open up.

Pansy's raised her brow. "I just want to know if you're serious Granger."

Hermione nodded, biting her lip.

Any problems they would have would not arise because of that, she was sure.

Pansy's face softened.

"God." Hermione let out a breath. "I don't know how I could be anything but serious."

Pansy nodded, but she detected a slight smile buried in her eyes.

"Draco, he snuck in right under my skin." A shaky breath came. "And I tried. Merlin I tried not to..."

She felt her own mouth curve upward in a smile. "I can't even pin point when exactly it happened. Just that one day we were enemies, the next we were friends, and then…and then I was right in the middle of it."

She looked up and found Pansy smiling softly at her.

"Yeah." Pansy breathed, "That sounds about right."

She felt warmth settle across her chest. It was helping, if only marginally, to just let it out a bit. She felt compelled to continue.

"But it's not going to be easy is it?" She said then.

Pansy pursed her lips, her gaze shifting to settle on Draco's bedroom door before turning back to her.

"There are things he's never going to tell you. There are things he's never going to tell anyone. It's just who he is. He's private about so many things, and part of it is all that scrutiny he's been under for his whole life."

She found herself nodding. Each sentence nearly a mirror of those she'd thought before.

"It's a lonely way to live. Never letting anyone in." She finally said.

Pansy cocked her head thoughtfully, though there was an air of wistfulness in her posture.

"It's the way he's always been. It's what we were taught." Pansy grinned after a moment, "But it seems he's slowly throwing that out the window."

Again, she felt her cheeks flush at the suggestions that were clearly in Pansy's expression.

"That's good though. For him to finally crack open a bit." Pansy's grin was still firmly in place, "It's already started. I mean who would have thought that taking Gryffindor's Princess and Slytherin's Prince and tossing them together in a dorm would lead to this?"

Hermione laughed.

Exactly. Who would have thought.

After a moment Pansy joined her, the ice finally beginning to melt between them. The conversation seemed to flow after that. Their biggest obstacles had been crossed, leaving them with a truce of sorts. It was nice, having a girl's perspective on everything that was happening. Though, she found Pansy was careful not to ask too much about the Resistance.

 _'My Occlumency's not as good as Drake's. If it weren't for the block he put in himself, I'd have been found out months ago.'_

It made her taste something like guilt in her mouth. What was it like, living one life in face of the world and another in secret?

'Exhausting.' She thought noticing the slight blemishes under Pansy's eyes.

She was just about to suggest that the Pansy go home and sleep, and insist that she was perfectly capable of occupying herself until Draco woke, when she heard a low moan. She blinked and glanced toward Draco's room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Pansy mirroring her action.

The moan escalated into a shout.

She jumped to her feet as the shouting became desperate pleas.

"Please stop."

"Get out. It's going to collapse."

She burst through the door and saw his limbs thrashing and tangling with his dark sheets.

"They're kids. They don't deserve it."

She shuddered at the anguish in his voice. She found herself at his bedside, catching one of his arms in hers. "Draco." She shook him.

He moaned in response before jerking away from her.

"I don't want it." He shouted, "I don't want any of it. I don't want it. I don't want it." His shouting had turning into whimpers, as his thrashing continued.

"Pansy." She shouted over her shoulder, "Get his other side."

Draco twisted beneath her grasp. He was murmuring in a voice devoid of any emotion. For a moment, she thought she could make out the words 'undo the bond'.

Pansy seemed to finally spring to action, and soon, she was beside her restraining Draco's left side. His thrashing finally settling down, she caught his right arm in her hand again and took her other hand and placed it tentatively at his jaw.

"Draco. Please. You're not there."

He moaned in response.

"I don't want it." He murmured again.

"Wake up Draco. You're not there." She bit her lip, "Come back."

She shook him again and sighed in relief as he finally began to stir. His eyes fluttered open, slightly glazed as he blinked slowly.

She let out a breath as his gaze focused on her.

"You're not there." She said again for good measure.

He nodded slightly, his breath coming in laboring gasps as he pulled away from their grips and fell back entirely spent.

His hand came up to brush the wayward strands of blonde away from his eyes before his gaze turned to Pansy.

Her eyes were wide for a moment, before a flicker of recognition stole across her face.

"This. This is what you've been hiding." She finally spoke.

Draco said nothing, becoming entranced with his palms. Hermione reached out to touch his shoulder. He relaxed and turned into her before letting out a breath and looking back up at Pansy.

They were conversing like that. Eye to eye. Words unnecessary for the moment.

She watched as Pansy's gaze hardened.

"This is dangerous Draco. What if you had an _episode_ in front of the Dark Lord?" She hissed.

"Such faith in me Pans." He scowled, "I can control them well enough now."

She looked away, unsure if she truly believed anything like what he experienced could be completely controlled. Seeing how he'd faltered before, and how the floodgates had opened to the one she'd torn him free of.

Draco seemed to sense her train of thought, because his eyes immediately came to rest on her.

"I've been fighting that one for a while now. S'why it was so bad." He said, his voice dropping low as he spoke.

Her eyes narrowed. "How long?"

He dropped his head into his hands, rubbing his face in slow deliberate circles. Her gaze met Pansy's and the other girl leaned her head to the door before mouthing 'pain potion'. She nodded, and Pansy left to the kitchen to retrieve a vial.

She sighed and sat beside him on the bed. "Draco." She said softly.

He took his hands from his face and ran them through his hair until they reached his neck.

"Nearly a week."

She blinked. "Since I've been here."

He said nothing, and she instantly knew she'd been right.

"You don't have to hide them from me. You know that."

He didn't say anything, instead swinging his legs over to dangle off the edge of the bed. He shook his head slightly to the side to toss the wayward strands of his hair away from his eyes before he finally stood.

She caught him by the arm before he could walk passed her and forced him to meet her gaze. He gave her a small smile. "I know." He let out a breath, "There was just other things that seemed more important."

She would have commented on his obvious avoidance of the much larger issue at play if it hadn't been for Pansy's untimely return.

"Here." She said putting the vial in Draco's hand. She glanced at him for a moment.

"Theo?" she asked.

Draco looked conflicted before he dipped his head in a slight nod.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "Wanker. I asked him if he knew, and he said he didn't."

She couldn't help but crack a grin at Pansy's exasperation. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Draco do the same.

"Theo managed to lie to you. I think I owe him 10 galleons now." Draco drawled.

"Hah." Pansy snorted.

Hermione watched as the tension between the two fell away. It was so easy for them to hide their meanings in harmless statements loaded with deeper meaning. They didn't need straight forward apologies or explanations. In a way, she envied them, that loyalty and trust was something she'd never expected to find among snakes, but had instead, found it in abundance.

Her heart panged, and not for the first time, she wondered about Harry and Ron. I _f she ever made it back to the Order;_ her eyes drifted to Draco, _would they accept all her decisions without question?_

The answer caught in her throat, and she swallowed roughly, forcing herself to focus on the present for now.

She seemed to rejoin the conversation as Pansy declared she had other places to be. She followed blindly as Draco led her out back to the floo, asking her if she'd pick up a few things for her. She blushed at Pansy's gaze, before she declared that Hermione would have a complete wardrobe in two days.

She was slightly frightened at what this prospective wardrobe would consist of when she saw Pansy's wicked grin right before she disappeared in the Floo.

Draco laughed at her weary expression. She moved to jab her elbow in his side, but he drew her into his arms. After a few moments of halfheartedly trying to escape, she allowed herself to simply relax in his embrace, listening to the faint rumble of his stifled laughter at her antics.

She found herself burying her face into his chest, and his arms tightened in response. He dropped his head to rest in the crook of her neck, his lips mouthing something against her skin.

She strained her ear, and his whispering forced her heart to start beating erratically.

 _It's selfish, but I'm glad you're here._


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Reviews=love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote by Albert Camus.

* * *

 _You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question._

Draco supposed if he was grateful for anything his father had taught him it was this, charm, tact, manipulation; all of which Lucius Malfoy had mastered under his father and thought important enough to instill it in his son in turn. He nearly snorted, but instead bit his tongue.

The action was not lost on his father, who shot him a look from his seat to his left.

He ignored the questioning gaze and drilled his gaze forward.

Meetings was too tame a word to describe these gatherings. They were practically as vicious as the battlefield. Every member constantly manipulating and looking for opportunities to hedge in their opinions, to earn favor by demonstrating their own cunning.

"….and we believe it to be a safehouse of sorts, though recent activity suggests that it may be a smaller, but operational base."

His eyes darted toward Dolohev, who was speaking slowly, as though to make his words carry more weight than what they were actually worth. He forced himself to listen as Dolohev droned about information he'd come across.

This wasn't the first time Dolohev, and by extension McNair, had delivered reports about possible Resistance safe houses and bases. They'd been wrong more times than not. Lately though, the information and locations were frighteningly more accurate. He had only just managed to warn Andromeda in time to prevent the massacres. He was becoming suspicious that the Order may have a leak.

"And you're sure of your information this time?" Draco finally spoke, feigning disinterest as he bent his head examining his nails. "After all." He lifted his eyes to meet Dolohev's, "We wouldn't want a repeat of all your previous attempts."

If he could discredit Dolohev enough, perhaps the Dark Lord would ignore the information.

Dolohev tightened his jaw, but pasted a thin smile on his face.

He forced himself not grimace at the sight.

"I assure you the information is completely reliable."

He was about to ask how Dolohev could be so sure when Voldemort tapped his wand against the table. It was funny how all heads at the table turned together to look at him.

 _Like trained dogs._

Voldemort let his eyes wander around the table before settling on Dolohev.

"Young Draco presents a valuable point. Your information has not always…rung true."

"My lord," Dolohev said stiffly, "The information is true. In fact, it falls in line with our own suspicions."

Voldemort waved him to continue.

He watched as Dolohev straightened before continuing. "Godric's Hollow."

He felt a sharp pain in his head, and he resisted the urge to rub the tension from his temple.

He was vaguely aware of the table erupting in murmurs of both disbelief and agreement.

The pain in his head throbbed making his heart race. His vision blurred from the scene around the table to a large home lit up in colors. He took a breath and willed his heart to calm, while focusing on pushing the pain back along with the images.

Not here. Please not here.

"It is true." Dolohev spoke above the murmurs, "That we've previously visited Godric's Hollow, but this time instead of the whole town, we will only be focusing on one particular place."

Draco watched Dolohev produce a folded parchment and hand it to Voldemort.

The chilling smile that spread across the Dark Lord's face was enough to quiet the pounding in his head for a moment.

"Interesting. Most interesting." Voldemort murmured.

Draco felt his stomach tighten. Whatever Dolohev had proposed had the Dark Lord intrigued, and that alone was concerning. That fact combined with the intensifying pain in his head was enough to make him think he was moments away of being sick right on the table.

He looked down at his hands, focusing on taking slow and steady breaths.

It felt as though his head was about to split in two.

"…Strategies of course. We will need the best…"

He blinked and looked up to find the parchment that Dolohev had given Voldemort before him.

"Tell me Draco." Voldemort hissed, "what do you make of this?"

He swallowed, wincing at the dryness of his throat.

He glanced down at the parchment and examined the rough blueprints before him. It looked like a residential home, but with several floors and what looked like an extensive basement.

He licked his lips.

"Will there be anyone of importance that we want?"

The Dark Lord laughed, and he resisted the urge to shiver at the hissing sound.

"Always a delight Draco."

He plastered a smirk on his face, that for once was not completely manufactured. It was somewhat amusing, how easy it was to fool the Dark Lord. Charm. He wondered what his father would think if he knew just how he was employing the lessons that had been drilled into him since birth.

He bowed his head respectfully. "Well then my Lord, collapse the building. Make an example of them."

He could feel the other's stares. "We can make it so that nothing remains. Erase them."

He felt the mood shift as others around the table nodded, following his logic. Though, he caught expressions of dissatisfaction with his idea. It was not bloody enough. Of course, that was his goal. Minimize damage. Ensure that Death Eaters weren't set on a locate and kill mission.

He let his gaze travel slowly to the head of the table. Voldemort looked thoughtful. "Yes. I see the appeal." He mused before turning to Dolohev. "Prepare your plans. Submit them to Draco when you are confident in your strategy." He blinked, unsure if he'd heard correctly.

It wasn't that he hadn't led missions before, but he'd avoided it. It would be suspicious if too many missions failed as he was leading them.

Dolohev pinched his lips, his anger radiating off him. He willed his gaze to the other and allowed a small smirk to grace his lips before bowing his head to Voldemort to show his acceptance.

Dolohev's anger intensified, and he honestly found the entire situation hilarious, in a deranged sort of way. They were fighting over who would lead the enfolding massacre. It was sick.

Just like that, the churning in his stomach resumed.

He tuned out the rest of the meeting, barely able to follow the line of discussion in order to deliver his obligatory opinion. He was much more occupied in trying to calm the raging pain centered on the back of his head and between his brows.

When it finally ended, he rose slowly, his body begging to Floo home and collapse in his bed. He stepped from the room only to be stopped by Dolohev.

He waited patiently. When Dolohev said nothing, he felt his patience flare with another sharp pain in his temples.

"Is there something you need Dolohev?" He said, not bothering to hide the annoyance from his face. Dolohev scowled and twisted his lips into a sneer.

"You will not ruin this mission."

Draco shot him a look. "I don't think you understand. If the Dark Lord thought you capable of giving out orders, he wouldn't have essentially given the mission to me. As it is, he doesn't seem to trust you to even atone for your past failures."

"Failures." Dolohev growled. He stood tall, his wand having made its way into his hand. "You forget your place amongst your elders. Don't be so quick to also forget your own failures. I still remember how _that_ night ended. Care to repeat it Malfoy."

Draco resisted the urge to draw his own wand, but he refused to give Dolohev the satisfaction of having angered him.

If anything, his silence infuriated Dolohev more than any hex he could have sent him. The man's wand was shooting sparks as he stepped closer to him.

He wondered if he ought to now draw his wand.

"Now Dolohev, I think that's enough terrorizing my nephew."

Rodolphus stepped between them. Dolohev scowled, but after meeting the other senior Death Eater's gaze, he shot Draco another sneer before shoving them both away as he disappeared toward the Floo.

Draco waited for Rodolphus to follow, but when it became apparent that Rodolphus had no intention of disappearing, he snapped back to face him.

"I am not your nephew. You just happen to have the misfortune of being married to my aunt." He said, letting his façade of boredom slip over his face.

Rodolphus matched his icy gaze. Though he saw it, a single crack in the mask, a twinge of anger fleetingly pass in his eyes.

"You would do well Malfoy to remember just where you were not long ago, and how easily it would be for you to fall once more."

His anger flared. He was tired of the threats, and he would not allow himself to feel fear from either Rodolphus or Dolohev; not when he'd stared evil incarnate himself in the eye and lied to his heart's content for nearly 4 years.

His wand was immediately in his hand, and he shoved Rodolphus into the opposing wall. His 'uncle' scrambled to his feet, but before he could retaliate, Draco was beside him, his wand drilled into Rodolphus's neck.

"You are too focused on the past my dear Uncle." He spat, before relieving the pressure of his wand on the other's neck, though not removing it completely.

"You saw me as a broken boy before, but aren't you frightened of what I've become? Others are." He mused, moving his wand to Rodolphus's head. "Aren't you worried what this broken boy could do to your mind?"

Rodolphus made a strangled sound, but otherwise did nothing.

"Shame." He clucked his tongue, "I'd have thought you'd be warier at the possibility of madness, being married to my Aunt Bella and all."

He watched as the older man struggled to quench the fear that was settling in his eyes.

When it was apparent he'd made his point, he dropped his hand in disgust.

"I think I've had enough petty threats for today." He sneered before stalking toward the Floo.

He may have squashed Rodolphus's threat now, but he couldn't help the uneasiness wash over him as he lifted his wand to the mantle to activate the Floo. That was two threats today, coupled with the warnings from his father. Were they plotting against him?

He threw in the Floo powder and called out for his flat.

It was possible, in fact, it was probable. The encroachment of the new Death Eater generation rattled the senior members. Their own usefulness was threatened with each young member that rose in rank. It had been part of the reason he'd tried to dissuade Theo to begin with. It wasn't enough, the horrors that came with branding yourself with the mark of a madman; no, you also had to fight against his senior brainwashed followers.

As the Floo's magic pulled him away, he wondered if maybe it had been a mistake to rise so drastically in the ranks. The visibility had made him vulnerable, and not for the first time his thoughts drifted to Hermione.

He could not afford to be vulnerable now.

* * *

He was almost surprised when he stepped in the room and found it empty. Though when he took into account how late it currently was, he couldn't fault Hermione for not wanting to wait up for him. He loosened his collar and stepped into the hall toward his bedroom when he caught sight of the light on in his office.

A thin smile creased his mouth and he re-routed to the study. He propped open the door and silently took in the scene before him.

There were a couple of rune texts scattered at the desk, though they'd seemed to have been abandoned by Hermione, who was now perched at the piano bench.

She still hadn't noticed him, and he, for a brief moment, wondered what it was like to be that relaxed. To just fall peacefully into your own world. Be free from the surrounding.

He cleared his throat, and she snapped her head up from the book currently in her lap, giving him room to catch which tome had occupied her interest.

"I didn't think you liked Quidditch all that much to be reading an entire book on it."

She shot him a thin smile. "I don't but Harry and Ron love this book..." she trailed off.

Ah. nostalgia.

"It's heavy isn't it, the burden of this war?" she murmured before shaking her head with a snort, "Well of course you know, you told me all that time ago. War is paid for by children."

He said nothing, instead perching himself next to her on the piano bench. He slipped the book from her hands and placed it beside him.

He was tired, frankly all he'd wanted to do was go to bed, but for some reason he'd never been able to be completely selfish when it came to Hermione. this, at least, was one thing that he could actually help with now.

"I know you miss them," He murmured, "and I am going to figure out a way to get you out of here."

She looked up with bright eyes, and he was struck dumb at the sight. The whiskey color that he was so familiar with seemed to only be enhanced with the green that was now present in them. He'd asked her about when the change had started to happen. When she muttered dark magic and remained quiet, he easily put two and two together.

Bellatrix.

Merlin, how he wanted to put that woman six feet under.

Hermione was looking at him intently. When he couldn't formulate a reply, she took in a breath.

"You're later than I thought you'd be."

He nodded.

"I was held up by Rodolphus."

He grimaced, trailing his fingers lightly over the keys of the piano.

She bit her lip, and opened her mouth to ask. He quickly cut her off with a shake of his head.

"I have an idea." He said then, pulling her up with him as he led them back out to the Floo.

"Draco?" she stumbled after him.

"I want to take you somewhere."

She stopped, tugging at his arm.

"What about curfew?"

He smirked. "I don't think that will be a problem."

He pushed her into the Floo, before grabbing a bit of powder and activating it with a tap of his wand.

He murmured the destination, not wanting Hermione to overhear, lest she guess where they were going.

* * *

When they stumbled out of the Floo a second later, she shoved him. "I can't believe you just tossed me into the Floo like…like a rag doll."

He grinned, and let her unwind from her rant.

When she quieted, she blinked up at him before turning to look around the room. Her jaw dropped before she whirled back to face him.

"Are…are we in a library?"

He forced back the laughter that immediately rose at her astonishment.

"Something like that." He said walking passed her and trailing his hand across the spines of the books.

"It's a bit of a blend between a book shop and a library." He continued, looking over his shoulder back at her.

She stood firmly rooted in her spot, and he smirked before turning back and grabbing her hand to lead her into the store.

"How is being here not breaking curfew?"

"We're a bit deeper in Muggle London, enforcement is a little weaker," He began, "and this shop is connected to the flat, in a way."

She furrowed her brows, but dropped his hand and went of her own accord to explore the shelves.

"How is it connected?" she asked as she pulled a book from the shelf to browse through.

"I'm sure you've noticed the enchantment on the bookshelf in my study."

She looked up and blushed slightly before nodding.

He cracked a thin smile and waved his hand in the air to tell her he didn't mind her looking through his texts.

"Yes, you pull out a book and it's replaced with another."

He nodded and then spread his arms wide. "Well, they all come from here." He bit his lip, "took me quite a bit to figure out."

She laughed and hugged the book in her arm close to her chest. She shook her head, but the amusement was thick in her gaze.

"So you own a book shop in muggle London."

He stepped closer to her.

"It was a good investment."

She hummed in agreement.

"It's perfect." She murmured stealing a quick kiss from him before darting off toward another shelf.

He smiled watching her dart through the shelves, before stealing a glance to take in the entire shop.

He'd opened it recently, as a way to funnel some of his funds and possessions away from the wizarding world. Though, a stray wizard or witch had made their way into the shop, it was primarily catered toward his muggle customers, complete with muggle employees that he'd hired while he'd been polyjuiced. The Floo he'd brought Hermione through was to a floor above the shop that he'd magically expanded into a library of sorts filled with books he'd wanted to save from the Manor and his mother's family home.

He had wanted to save more, but under his father's inquisitive gaze, he'd hardly dared take more than this.

He followed the sound of Hermione's footsteps and found her amongst the genealogy shelves.

"These are amazing." Hermione breathed with a book in her hands from her position on the floor. He glanced at the title and felt his stomach clench.

 _Unraveling the Lines: The History of the Sacred 28_ L. Martel

She'd currently had the book opened to the Weasley family tree and was tracing the names she was no doubt familiar with. "It updates with each birth." She murmured.

She looked up at him with a thin smile before turning the pages until she came to abrupt stop.

His breath caught.

His family tree.

She flipped from the Black family tree that was entwined with the family on the next page, the Malfoys. Her mouth moved as she read the names of his ancestors before stopping at the bottom.

She traced his name on the page before looking up to meet his gaze.

"I always wondered about that nickname, Slytherin Prince. I suppose, in a way, it is deserved."

He shook his head, dropping to sit beside her. He sighed as he glanced at the page.

"I used to love it." He whispered, "All the attention, but as I grew up…I hated it, how they all took me for royalty and used it to measure their opinions of me."

He took the book from her hands and traced the line from his name up to his father's. He let his fingers move to the side and stop at his mother's name.

"I always wondered about that." Hermione said softly, "About how two notoriously powerful families had never connected except for this one instance."

"My father always told me it was a gamble to wed a Black. That you never quite know which side of the scale they're going to tip." He murmured.

Hermione furrowed her brows.

"But he married a Black."

"Who wouldn't have back then?"

He pursed his lips, "They were powerful in their own way, when they weren't warring with themselves. Old family. Old wealth. Their blood practically ingrained into the ground of the very wizarding world. There was a lot of people who wanted to ally themselves with them."

"But that wasn't the reason for your mother," she bit her lip, "was it?"

He thought about the expression of utter defeat on his father's face when his wife, his mother, had crumpled to the ground before him. No. It wasn't about an alliance then.

"No." Draco whispered, voice thick with emotion, "No. He loved her." He was lost in the throngs of his memory then, flashes of his parents running through his mind. "More than anyone thought him capable of." He continued, more to himself than to Hermione.

She nodded before dropping her head to rest on his shoulder. Her arm reached over his to trace the page again. This time though she stopped at his grandfather's name.

"What's this?" she asked moving her hand from Abraxas Malfoy to the lines of his progeny.

He followed her fingers as they moved first to the line that led to his father's name and the other that stretched from Abraxas and blurred, making it impossible to tell the name of who the line connected to.

"The Blacks aren't the only ones to turn their back on certain members of their family." He said, laying his hand on top of Hermione's as she continued to trace the blurred line.

"My aunt." He murmured on, "though she wasn't exactly disowned, the family _distanced_ themselves from her."

"Why?" she whispered.

"I don't know specifics." He admitted, "But it involved some sort of accident that happened to her. The rest of the family felt she no longer represented the ideal image of a Malfoy." He let his bitterness at his ancestors drip from his tongue. How many people lost because of the rampant idiocy of his forefathers?

"That's awful." Hermione muttered tracing down from the blurred name as the line continued.

"She had children." She said softly following the line.

He nodded. "Another cousin I never properly knew."

Without a word, she threaded her arm under his shoulder and pressed closely into him. He took the book from her and closed it before sending it off back to its place on the shelf.

"Enough of that." He said, "I brought you here to cheer you up, not darken the mood."

She cracked a smile before darting to her feet and dragging him with her through the shelves.

They spent hours just walking amongst the books until Hermione would settle on one to flip through for a while.

It was well into early morning before they stumbled back through the Floo into the flat. They barely had energy to strip and change into sleeping clothes before falling onto his bed. After that, it was all too easy to close his eyes and immediately drift to sleep.

* * *

 _He felt the warmth of the sun washing over his face and the feel of a warm breeze ruffling his hair. He peeked through his lashes and then immediately opened his eyes completely._

 _He was standing in the midst of the familiar Manor gardens. Only unlike how they were now, nearly barren and filled with overgrown moss, these fields were trimmed and properly maintained._

 _He lent down and let his hands graze the flower petals of the tulips beside him._

 _It felt so real._

 _In fact, he already felt his nose itching at the onslaught of pollen from the plants all around him._

 _He heard voices and immediately drifted toward the sound, pausing at the top of a hill at the sight below him._

 _Below him was his mother playfully chasing a blonde toddler back and forth amongst the flower beds._

 _Him._

 _A memory._

 _He felt his stomach churn and was unable to stop himself from edging closer to the pair._

 _"Come on now Draco. You know you're not supposed to come down here while the flowers are blooming." His mother called before dashing after the platinum haired child._

 _His younger self darted away from his mother and passed where he was standing not far from them both._

 _"But Mum." The young Draco began before being cut off by a soft sneeze. He rubbed his small hands on his nose before wrinkling it. "I want to stay outside." He managed before he sneezed again._

 _Narcissa came up behind him and swung the child up in her arms and spun around._

 _He bit his lip as he recalled the sensation. Twirling round and round and round in his mother's arms. At the time, it was better than flying._

 _His mother planted a chaste kiss to his temple and parted his messed hair from his forehead._

 _"Why don't we get your broom and go over by the clearing?" She compromised before setting him down on the ground._

 _The child's head bobbed up and down before he dashed up the hill toward the shed that housed all the brooms and Quidditch supplies. He heard his own voice call back that he would beat his mother to the brooms._

 _He stood dumbstruck beside the memory of his mother watching his platinum head dash up and disappear down the hill._

 _He could remember how the rest of this memory went, and the subsequent hours that his mother had spent teaching him to fly, while stopping him from sailing higher than she'd deemed safe._

 _But why? Why was he remembering this now? After spending the nearly two years since her death trying to push back any semblance of a memory relating to her into the dark recesses of his mind, what had brought this on?_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _He stumbled before turning his head to look at his mother. She stood with her face still trained up the hill that he'd disappeared on._

 _"I'm sorry." She repeated, "I'm sorry I had to leave you alone."_

 _Before he had a chance to determine if she was actually speaking to him, the present him, she'd drifted away and was halfway up the hill._

 _"Wait. Wait" he said running to catch up with her,_

"Mum."

He sat up, blinking at the immediate darkness around him. His eyes adjusted to the dark, and he recognized the edges of his bedroom furniture.

He sat back, and felt Hermione stir beside him before nestling into his chest and drifting back to sleep.

He blinked again unsettled by the contents of his dream. He shook his head before closing his eyes and tightening his hold around Hermione.

He didn't nod back off to sleep until the first rays of sun were seeping through his window. It was still ringing in his ears though,

 _I'm sorry I had to leave you alone._


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I can't believe there are 70+ of you following this story! the Erratic Poet, I love long reviews and thank you so much for leaving one. I really try to keep the characterization and the plot balanced, because I feel that both are equally important to the story. As for Voldemort and his appearance, I'm actually pleased you caught that. I feel like he would try to restore it, if only for his vanity and pride. Dolohev is Dolohov. It was a spelling error that I didn't actually catch (this story also doesn't have a beta for anyone else to catch it).

As always Reviews=love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

It was strange. He treated her to one night of absolute bliss in his bookshop, and then it seemed he'd withdrawn. In the morning, he'd seemed so distant. He hadn't looked like he'd slept much, and it made her think that perhaps he'd dreamt something that had put him on edge.

It had been like that for days now. He'd go for his minimum time of service and come back ready to collapse in bed.

Theo kept her company more often than not, but even his mood had deteriorated. Daphne had continued to refuse to see him and had sent him a letter detailing her need for space. It was because of this that they seemed to find some comfort in one another. Solidarity, really. They were both familiar with seemingly distant and stubborn people.

He'd tell her not to worry too much about Draco. If anything, this was an improvement to how he'd been last year, wanting only to bury himself six feet down under and scaring everyone close to him into watching his every move.

He placated her, explaining that training with Bellatrix which was akin to going into battle every day. It was no wonder he was tired and distant as a result.

On the other, Pansy wasn't impressed.

 _I'm sure he's exhausted. I'd bet on it, but it's not that. This time of year…well he shuts down._

She hadn't had the opportunity to ask Pansy for more, since Draco had stumbled back in from the Floo effectively ending the conversation.

* * *

She sighed and hugged her sides, glancing down at her half-finished translation. From what she'd uncovered, it seemed like a history text. A story about a group of wizards who had been researching bonds between runes and magic and even the primal properties of magic. It was fascinating, but at the same time it left her wondering why they had fought so hard to defend it.

It was vague, and the concept of bonding between substances was hardly dark or a guarantee of great power, both of which Voldemort and his Death Eaters prized before all else.

It hardly seemed worth dying for, and yet she almost had. There had to be more to it than this.

She leaned back and her foot came up and kicked the bottom of the desk. She winced then frowned at the seemingly hollow side that she'd kicked. Biting her lip, she bent down and knocked against the wood.

Again, she heard the hollow sound.

It occurred to her that she should probably respect Draco's privacy, but she was annoyed with him, and that coupled with her own unhealthy curiosity made for a dangerous combination. She grasped for her wand and began a series of revealing spells, which led to unlocking spells.

She begrudgingly felt admiration at Draco's skill. It took her nearly an hour to break through to the small cupboard in the side of the desk. The wards had been impressive.

Hesitantly, she pushed open the small trap door and examined the few contents within the cupboard. There was a drawstring purse filled with galleons tucked in towards the back along with several documents. These she examined and found they contained several business contracts and… forged identification papers.

 _Escape routes._

She pushed the thought of why Draco would feel the need to plan for such an emergency out of her mind as she refocused on the cupboard. She stretched her hand in further and came away with a simple black journal.

Opening the cover, a photograph fell into her lap.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to the center figure, a platinum blonde child fidgeting between his two parents.

She studied Draco for a minute. He looked thin in the photograph and little paler than normal, but his expression caught her by surprise. There was something in his eyes, something tinged with exhaustion that made her think he looked beaten down...like survival in physical form. She watched as his figure moved in the photo, alternating between a forced small smile and a faraway look.

 _Always lost in thought._

She drifted her attention to Draco's right and took in Narcissa Malfoy. She looked beautiful, as she had when she'd been alive. Her hair fell in slight waves, pulled entirely to one side and exposing her slender neck. Her posture was perfect, except for the instances her figure bent her head to regard the child to her side.

Narcissa's figure would smile slightly at her son, her eyes shining with uncontainable happiness.

 _Like she's thankful he's sitting there beside her._

Unsettled, her eyes darted to the final figure in the photograph.

Lucius Malfoy sat as proud and composed as she'd ever seen him. Though, he, like Narcissa, would periodically shift his attention to the child between him and his wife. His eyes seemed tired and weary as he watched Draco fidget, but for a second his lips would quirk upward.

She nearly dropped the photograph. Had she seen Lucius Malfoy smile?

She shook her head replacing the photograph before flipping to the first entry of the journal.

Narcissa Black Malfoy.

His mother's journal.

She flipped through the pages, various dates circled and accompanied by entries and occasional photos. She stopped at one page, her fingers lightly pressed to the parts of the page that was decorated with tear stains long dried.

April 9th, 1990.

She scanned the beginning of the letter, but the ink was blurred. She leaned in closer, and suddenly felt her stomach twist as she was lurched forward.

Cursed.

It was the immediate explanation, but when she opened her eyes, she began to doubt that conclusion.

She was in a room with no windows and a solitary bed pushed up to the far wall. In it was a small boy with a shock of platinum hair.

 _Draco._

He looked to be about the same age as the photograph that she'd examined before, only now he was propped up on a mountain of pillows behind him. She saw Lucius standing not far from the head of the bed.

 _A memory._

When she'd leaned into the page, she must have activated an enchantment. It was amazing, with properties similar to a pensieve but embedded into the pages of a journal. How had Narcissa done this?

She was torn from her musings when the figures before her began to speak.

"Hello Father." Draco's voice was scratchy, but aside from that he looked the picture of an obedient child. His back was straight and his bright gray eyes focused on his father's.

"You seem to have settled into the room well."

She shook her head. So formal. This wasn't how she'd imagine a father and son conversed; devoid of warmth.

"The healers have made everything comfortable." Draco said, his voice still strained, but unwavering.

Lucius nodded and shocked her when he sat at the edge of the mattress and reached out to touch his son's shoulder.

"You are here to get better Draco." He pursed his lips, "You will get better. You know why?"

When Draco dipped his head in a small nod, Lucius continued.

"You are a Malfoy; both in will and temperament." A faint smile passed quickly on Lucius's face, "You are strong. Now show me what you were practicing."

Draco leant forward, threading and unthreading his fingers together, before a determined look crossed his face.

He took a deep breath, before holding his hand out.

She stepped closer, entranced at the scene.

Sparks shot from Draco's palms and grew into a small flame.

It was impressive magic, and to be so controlled at 9. It blew her away.

Draco's face lit up in delight, but quickly fell when the flames fizzled out and died. He'd obviously thought he could maintain it for longer.

Lucius nodded with a satisfied expression on his face.

"I can make it last longer." Draco bit his lip, but Lucius put his hand again to his shoulder with a slight shake of his head.

"Save your strength." It was issued as a command, but the emotions evident on Lucius's face reached her from across the room.

Pride. Fear. Worry.

He stood in one motion and seemed to float to the edge of the room, where the door leading out to what she guessed was the hall to the rest of St. Mungo's.

"I will see you again this evening."

Like that Lucius was gone.

When it was clear that his father's footsteps had faded away, Draco slumped forward, exhaustion etched into his young face.

She felt her body move forward of its own accord, and she realized she must be acting out whatever Narcissa had done at the time.

She sat on the mattress and her hands went to smooth out the messed strands of Draco's fine hair.

"Mum." Draco pulled away slowly and looked at her, his eyes shining brightly.

"Yes my love." The words fell from her lips.

He bit his lip before looking down at his hands.

"Am I going to die?"

Her breath caught in her throat.

Draco looked up at her quickly, hearing the shift in her breathing. He always was too perceptive for his own good.

"No darling." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close so that his head was resting against her chest.

"But I must be. He wouldn't comfort me if he thought I was fine." Draco's voice was muffled against her body, but his words were easy enough to make out. They tore her heart in two.

She took a breath, letting her fingers continue to comb through his hair.

"You are sick Draco darling, but you are so strong. I know you will get better." She took a breath, "Don't you trust me?" She forced her voice to keep from breaking, even as her eyes stung with unshed tears.

He nodded slightly, but trembled beneath her firm grasp. "Mum. It hurts." He murmured, and she felt his thin body shake with his silent sobs.

"I know love." She pulled him closer and planted a kiss on the top of his head. She felt her own tears fall from her eyes, unbidden. "Why don't you sleep now? Perhaps you'll dream of flying. You love to do that don't you?" She was impressed by her voice, or rather Narcissa's voice, and how it remained firm and steady. Draco nodded against her chest.

She began humming a tune, she didn't recognize, and after a while her humming turned into soft singing in a language she recognized as French.

 _The dragon went to the moon._

 _To the moon_

 _To the moon_

 _And made a home in the stars_

 _In the stars._

 _In the stars._

The words fell back into a gentle hum, when she realized that Draco had fallen asleep in her arms. She let out a breath, while closing her eyes. Tears were still falling.

When she opened them again, she was back in the study. Quickly, she wiped her face from the water stains and the fresh tears that were quickly looking to replace them.

She felt another presence, and half turned her face to see Pansy come in and shut the study door. Her eyes drifted to the journal still on the desk.

"I see you found Narcissa's diary."

Pansy stepped closer and her eyes focused on the date. She waited, unsure exactly what Pansy's reaction would be. She had effectively violated Draco's privacy and his mother's, yet Pansy didn't seem enraged on their behalf. In fact, she seemed oddly curious, cautious, as though she was waiting for Hermione's reaction in order to determine her next move.

Pansy sighed, with a small smile tinged in melancholy.

"This was the day Draco was hospitalized at St. Mungo's."

Hermione cleared her throat.

"Blaise told me he was there for 6 months."

Pansy nodded after a moment.

"I'll always admire Narcissa for that time." Pansy said, "She never once broke down in front of Draco."

She hugged her sides and was surprised when Pansy came closer and offered her a handkerchief from her pocket.

"It must have been horrible."

Pansy nodded again before closing the journal and replacing it in the desk drawer.

"He misses her something fierce. Especially around this time of year." Pansy furrowed her brows, "Her birthday was this month."

Her eyes widened. Was that why he'd been so withdrawn lately? It made sense. He was liable to shut down whenever his emotions got a run on him. Their 7th year was a prime example.

"Look out for him Granger, but don't take his shit." Pansy said giving her shoulder a squeeze.

She shook her head. "I don't even know where to start."

* * *

Draco sighed looking at the empty frame before him. He'd hoped that he might find the portrait occupied. Though, with a shake of his head, he realized how foolish it was. Confronting a portrait wouldn't give him answers.

"Why are you haunting me?" he murmured. He was so absorbed in his study of the empty frame he didn't notice when another presence joined him.

"It's been empty for a while."

He didn't turn at the sound of his father's voice.

Light footsteps sounded until they stood shoulder to shoulder looking at the empty frame before them.

"I should have expected as much." He said turning slightly. Lucius gave a sharp nod before turning his face to meet him head on.

He resisted the urge to squirm, as he always did, under his father's gaze.

"I heard from Rodolphus."

Nothing else. No inquiry on how he was. No words of sympathy and shared grief.

He was angry then. Angry at Lucius and angry that Rodolophus had crawled to his father in hope he would put him in his place.

"Oh?" He bit out.

"Be careful who you anger Draco, or at least be prepared to deal with the fallout."

"Whether I am prepared or not is not your concern." He snapped.

"I taught you better manners than this Draco." Lucius's voice rose marginally.

Draco snapped his entire body to face his father. He met his gaze, unflinching. "Then I'm sorry I am not the son you wanted me to be." He hated that his words weren't completely sarcastic. He hated that buried in them was very real sentiment. He'd given everything; his wellbeing, his sanity, in his foolish delusions to please Lucius. He'd never been enough, and for once, he was happy to finally have the opportunity to voice his struggles out loud.

Lucius looked at him hard, and he swore he saw him flinch slightly.

"You are your own man," Lucius began, "but you will not act like anything less than the scion of your house, this house's head…"

"Like the Lord Malfoy that I was raised to be." He interrupted, "Tell me father, how can a lord serve another lord?"

He was ranting, and he found how easy it was for his anger to take control and guide his words.

"And is this the place of lords, is this a game of kings? Look around us, and tell me you see anything but death." Draco nearly shouted while gesturing all around him. Lucius flinched, but did not speak.

"Did you act as a lord when you bowed to another? When you sacrificed your lady for a master-"

"Enough." Lucius exclaimed.

Draco clenched his jaw shut, and in seconds his head had whipped to the side. The imprint of his father's hand burning into his skin.

"You forget your place. I am your father."

"And yet, I outrank you in the order you have pledged us too." He hissed.

"Do you think this began with you or me or my father?" Lucius said, sneering at him.

Draco schooled his features, letting the muscles of his face slacken. The fire in his anger had calmed into his familiar biting cold. If anything, he was more dangerous that way. He looked at his father, truly looked at him. He could see how hard it was for Lucius to remain even marginally composed. His breathing was slightly erratic and a vein near his temple looked to be throbbing with his anger. Yet, there was something within his father's eyes, something darker and filled with sorrow. If he didn't know any better, he would think it was regret.

"Then are we fated to follow the mistakes of those who came before us?" Draco said lowly. Lucius stilled, bearing his own grey eyes into his.

"You are my father, but sometimes I wonder whether I am your son."

Lucius flinched.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to lord over this one crack he'd managed in his father's impervious expression. His voice dropped, but he found that oddly, these words were louder than any shouts.

"Was I your son all those times you had only contempt and disdain for me in your eyes? And for what? For things I could not control? For a handful of failures? Was I not worth more than that? Was the blood we share not worth anything when you let them thrust an impossible task and a death sentence on my shoulders?"

Lucius had paled and was shakily stepping forward. Draco blinked as his vision blurred. He turned his head and was surprised at the thin layer of moisture that was dispelled at the motion.

"You are my son." Lucius whispered.

"And yet, I have no idea what that means." Draco murmured in reply before stepping away and fleeing the Manor.

He tried not to catch the final whispers Lucius had uttered during his escape.

 _You are worth more. You are your mother's son._

* * *

He shouldn't have allowed himself to leave so angry from the Manor when he knew he had training later. It couldn't be helped. If anything, the outburst had been long overdue.

He sighed, willing his heart to calm and his mind to clear. After about 5 minutes, he let out a long breath. He was about as calm as he was going to get.

Pushing himself off the wall he'd been leaning on, he moved into the training room that had become his home away from home.

Bellatrix was on him as soon as he entered the room.

"You're late." she announced.

He didn't have time to even offer an excuse before he felt the familiar pricks of Bellatrix examining his mind. It happened so suddenly that he did not have time to fully pull together the normal jumble of thoughts he reserved for these brain probs. His defenses were quick to come up, but to his horror parts trickled through, and he saw it flash before his eyes. The portrait frame.

Bellatrix pulled away, her gaze hard and heavy. For once, her eyes were not hooded and glazed over in the familiar madness he'd constantly attributed to her. He steeled himself in preparation for her outburst.

Instead, she took a sharp breath.

"She had weakness in her blood. Best be sure you don't have it in you as well my dear nephew." She gave him a hard look that only drove him cold in these moments of her clear sanity. "We have enough graves in our family I think."

He nodded numbly, letting his face morph into his familiar mask.

She gave him one last look before she drew her wand. Her message was clear. We have other things to worry about now.

He moved to reach for his wand, but she stopped him.

"Wandless today."

He bit the inside of his lip, but nodded. He could defend himself well enough wandless. He'd certainly had enough practice.

After an hour, he felt that he had seriously misjudged his capabilities. That, or he'd misjudged Bellatrix's response to his stray thoughts.

It felt like punishment.

His ears were ringing, and the pain in his head was blurring his vision. He took a breath and was pleased to see his shield still held.

He shot a stinging hex at his aunt quickly, but even through his haze, he knew it was weak. His reserves were fading too quickly and a simple hex was nothing on the spells Bellatrix was hurling without mercy. He managed a flimsy Disillusionment charm before sending hex after hex in rapid succession.

He followed it quickly by knocking her off balance and spinning to the opposite wall.

The look on her face was murderous. Before he knew it, he was flat on his stomach, completely immobilized. His hands were pressed in front of him and in a quick motion Bellatrix stomped on them.

He bit his lip refusing to cry out, focusing his thoughts on anything but the pain.

"Drive the weakness from you." She spat before stepping away from him.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze, steel on iron.

Her eyes drifted to the blood, now flowing freely from his fingers. The clarity from before settled again in her gaze, and he wondered, not for the first time, how his aunt had been before the madness had overtaken her. Her eyes narrowed momentarily.

"Do not heal them." She spat before she left him, dropping the immobilization as she disappeared.

He stumbled as he rose to his feet before fumbling for his wand to seal the cuts and torn bits of his skin. He wouldn't heal them, but he'd be damned before he bled to death from the wounds. He refused to die by Bellatrix's hand. The thought made him ill and murderous.

He stalked out of the room, dragging his feet and instead of heading for the Floo he turned the corner and found himself in a cellar. His hands moved on their own accord as he grabbed any and all alcoholic drinks he could find before collapsing on the ground.

He uncorked the first bottle and poured some over his hands, hissing as the alcohol fell over his wounds. Then he put the bottle to his mouth and drank until he couldn't feel the burning coming from his fingers.

He couldn't be sure how long he sat on the floor of the dank and musty basement, sniffling from the dust and drinking bottle after bottle. Though, after a while, he wasn't sure he cared. He was vaguely aware of footsteps and a body dropping down to sit beside him.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

He closed his eyes and didn't resist when Theo pulled the bottle from his hand.

"Holy fuck." Theo exclaimed.

Ah. He saw his hands.

"Don't." Draco croaked when he saw Theo reach for his wand. "Don't heal them."

Theo shot him an incredulous look before murmuring a spell to conjure bandages around his wounds.

He watched him. Theo, one of his oldest friends, bend over and set about bandaging his near broken fingers. He supposed if anyone could understand, could actually relate to this hell, it was Theo. It was probably what forced him to speak his next words.

"Theo."

He looked up from where his head was bent down focusing on tying the gauze.

"Do you ever miss your Mum?"

Theo took a sharp breath before meeting his eyes. Recognition flashed in Theo's wide green eyes.

"All the time."

He bit his lip before giving him a slight nod, which was the wrong move as his head swam and blurred his vision.

"Steady mate." Theo said before shoving a vial into his hands.

"Sober Up." he continued watching him very carefully.

Draco uncorked the vial with difficulty before downing the whole thing. He waited until his vision sharpened and the pain roared in his head and his hands. He figured that meant he was sober.

Theo helped him up and they walked slowly up the steps to the Floo on the main floor.

"Let's get you home."

* * *

He stepped out of the Floo and immediately went for the balcony. Theo followed and with shaky hands he accepted the cigarette Theo offered.

"I didn't know you still smoked." He said lighting the cigarette with his thumb.

"I don't, but I think I need it tonight." Theo said, taking a long drag.

Draco nodded before running his hand through his hair and absently gazing out at the scenery.

* * *

Hermione looked up quickly from her book at the sound of the Floo. Pansy mimicked her from across the room. She caught the other girl's face tighten at the lack of noise that immediately followed. Slowly, Pansy rose and motioned for Hermione to follow slowly behind her.

When they reached the living room, they both relaxed at the sight of both Draco and Theo out on the balcony.

 _Were they smoking?_

Pansy scowled before stomping toward them.

At that moment, Theo turned and noticed them. In one quick step, he came into the room and blocked Pansy from reaching Draco.

"You gave him a cigarette. Honestly Theo, both of your lungs…"

"He needed it." Theo snapped before looking nervously back out to Draco. "Gods Pans, you should see the state of his hands."

Hermione felt her gut tighten before she slipped passed the two, who were still arguing, and out to the balcony.

Draco didn't turn to greet her, instead he seemed entirely focused on the smoke in his hands.

"I didn't know you smoked." She began, unsure what to say. She took in the bandages on his hands and grimaced at the edges of scars and dried blood on the gauze.

"Nah. I quit." Draco said taking the cigarette from his mouth and putting it out on the railing.

He still hadn't met her gaze, and she was torn with wanting to draw him up in her arms and slapping him out of whatever haze he was operating under.

When he still didn't speak, her heart hardened. She would not take this from him anymore.

"Theo. Pansy." She called out, "Leave. Now."

Draco gave her a funny look, but it almost looked like he was smirking.

The other two looked ready to protest, but were silenced with a single look. Frankly, she was in the mood to draw blood.

When the Floo called out with their exit, she dragged Draco back inside and cast a silencing spell in one single motion. She pushed him down on the couch and folded her arms.

"We are going to talk. Now."

Draco shook his head. "I don't know what you want from me."

"Anything. Christ anything. Just tell me something Draco."

His head was already pounding and his ears were ringing.

 _You are worth more. You are your mother's son._

 _She had weakness in her blood._

 _We have enough graves in our family._

Fuck what was one more argument today.

"You say that, but if you knew a fraction, you'd probably decide to take your chances out there than stick with me." he said evenly.

"It's my choice. My decision…"

"You don't know what you're asking of me." His voice rose.

"Then tell me." she shouted, "Tell me anything. Fuck look at you. I will not sit by and watch you fall apart."

He flinched.

"I don't know how to be anything other than this" he said, his voice only slightly raised.

"Then let me help." She bit her lip, "I told you I wouldn't do this unless you were open with me. You do everything you can to suppress your emotions because it hurts, but it hurts more that way Draco. And I won't sit by and watch my own boyfriend self-destruct…" She trailed off finally noticing how his shoulders were shaking.

She looked up at his face and caught him smiling slightly mouthing 'boyfriend'.

"Gods," He whispered, "I love you."

She froze.

Had he really…

"I think I've loved you this entire time."

She dropped to her knees in front of him and palmed her hands on each side of his face. He looked at her, his grey eyes glassy before he rested his forehead on hers.

She leaned in and kissed him slowly, and he tasted like smoke, firewhiskey, and something that seemed purely him. When he began to deepen it, she tore herself away. She wouldn't let him cop out of this by distracting her, even if he was talented with his tongue.

He seemed to understand what she meant, but he kept his mouth on the corner of hers. "I will. I want to tell you everything."

She nodded.

He pulled away and then lifted her from the floor to sit beside him.

He hesitated, unsure what to say. She clasped his hands between hers, taking care to mind the bandages. "Start at the beginning."

And she could honestly say she meant the beginning. If he started with his first memory, she would gladly listen to his entire life story.

He bit his lip.

"The sorting hat started talking to me before it touched my head."

She stayed silent, but inside she was marveling at the fact.

"It told me that my mind was what would set me apart from everyone. It would either be my weapon or my tool."

Ravenclaw or Slytherin.

"I told it that all I was was a weapon, and that the real question was where I would fall. When it touched my head, it called out Slytherin."

She could imagine it. At the age of 11, how he'd already developed all the skills that fit the typical Slytherin. He was born with self-preservation, but he was also aware of where he stood and what he could possibly gain. He was cunning. No one could deny that, and all of it was contained in that one sentence.

"I used to think back to that year a lot. There were so many choices that...things could have been different." He bit the inside of his cheek, "I mean, I almost didn't go to Hogwarts."

She nodded. She remembered hearing something about that. Her eyes roamed over him. Thank goodness he had.

"Durmstrang." She said, "That's where you could have gone right?"

He nodded. "Father wanted me to go there, but I…" he swallowed roughly, "I got really sick right before, and they decided they didn't want me to go very far away."

Her grip tightened on his hands, and she saw him grimace. She couldn't help it. This was the first time he'd mentioned it himself, and that coupled with the memory she'd visited this afternoon made it all seem so raw. Just how many brushes with death had Draco had?

"Well, I'm glad you came to Hogwarts, regardless of the reasoning." She whispered, easing her hold around his hands.

He shot her a thin smile before nodding.

"Even with all the teasing and taunts?"

"I gave as good as I got." She sniffed.

He laughed, leaning back into the couch and pulling her closer to him.

"Definitely." He agreed, resting his head between her neck and shoulder.

She smiled as he pressed a light kiss to her collarbone before straightening.

He looked her over for a moment before letting out a shaky breath. "I fought with my father today."

She dropped his hands. "Did he…" She looked down at the bandages.

Draco shook his head, fiddling with the edges of the gauze. "No. That was Bellatrix. Though, ironically, I don't think she would have done it if I hadn't argued with my father beforehand." He mused with a half-smile pulled tight on his lips.

He shook his head, suddenly looking incredibly exhausted.

"What did you argue about?" she asked softly.

"Everything." He murmured.

She waited.

"All the expectations, the threats I've received from the other Death Eaters, the Dark Lord's uncanny interest in me…"

"Threats?" She asked sharply.

He winced, as though he'd suddenly realized what he'd said. "I may not have been taking them as seriously as I should have, but," he continued noticing her about to open her mouth to protest, "That changed with my confrontation with Rodolphus."

She forced out the encounter and was practically fuming when the story was told. She couldn't believe he hadn't said a word about it. Mentally, she attempted to pinpoint when exactly the event could have occurred. When she had, a sharp stab of guilt went through her.

The night at his shop.

Draco was watching her intently, and she let out a sigh. It wouldn't do to dwell on it now. For what it was worth, he'd told her eventually.

She studied his face before she spoke.

"That's not all you argued about is it?"

He winced before shaking his head. "We argued about my mum. Bellatrix sensed it, and that's why she…" he trailed off and lifted his hands.

She grimaced before gently taking them into her own and pressing light kisses to each of his fingers.

She looked up and saw him watching her intently.

"You miss her." she murmured. She could relate to that. Her mother wasn't even dead, but to her, she might as well have been.

His breath hitched before he nodded slightly.

"Tell me about her."

He looked away from her, letting his eyes rest on the balcony door. "She was the only person I knew for sure would always be there."

He let out a weak laugh. "Gods that sounds like utter shit now, but…"

She squeezed his hand as much as she dared without hurting him.

"The Manor was a big, empty, lonely place. Theo visited whenever he could. Blaise lived further away. Pans, well, after her mum tried to force a betrothal, her visits became more monitored." Draco's lips quirked up, "Mother was all I had. Her and the library."

"You were a bookworm?" She asked lightly.

He grinned. "I'd have given you a run for your money. I lived in there." He grew more serious. "I wish you could have seen it, the way it was before."

They grew silent as Draco got lost in the familiar edges of his mind. He shut his eyes, and she listened as he seemed to focus only on each breath he had to take. When he opened his eyes again, not long after, he began to speak.

"Her birthday was the 28th." he murmured, "She never liked to celebrate it. She'd always say that it wasn't the day that mattered the most to her."

She nodded when he looked back to her. His eyes drifted back down to their entwined hands. "She said my birthday was the best day of her life. I don't know why."

She frowned. "Why wouldn't it be?"

He grimaced, "She had a really difficult pregnancy with me. Not healthy at all. The Healers said there would be complications and that it would be safer if she terminated it early."

Her heart pounded, and she didn't realize she'd clasped his hands too hard until his sharp intake of breath. She loosened her grip and before she could stop herself, she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him so that his face was nestled in her shoulder.

She felt him smile against her collarbone. "I'm fine. I'm here now." he soothed.

He sighed and pulled his head up, but brought his arms around her waist to keep her close.

"Then she went into labor a month early, and the damage from it… She nearly died, and then they told her she couldn't have any more children." he shook his head, "And I know she wanted more, but I ruined that for her."

She pressed a kiss to his jaw. "You know that it actually wasn't your fault."

He nodded.

"I know." he breathed.

"But in the end, she still ended up dying because of me."

She pulled away and found his eyes clouded over. She could feel the guilt that was overflowing from them.

The story of Narcissa's lie had been one she'd painfully pulled from Harry not long after he'd recovered. It had unsettled both Harry and her. For Harry, it had hit a little too close to home, too similar to a past he, himself, barely remembered. For her, it had left her wondering what this mother's death had done to her son.

She took her hands from around him and combed through his hair before letting them rest at the sides of his jaw.

"She loved you Draco. She loved you so much. She wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself for a choice she made." She bit her lip, "Especially a choice, I know, she would have made over and over again for you."

His breath hitched, and it came out strangled and too much like a sob. She pressed her lips against his, hard, and quickly let him take over. They broke away slowly, though he kept his mouth pressed to the corner of hers.

"I haven't been back to her grave since she was buried." he whispered.

"Where is she buried?"

"The Black estates. It was too dangerous to have her buried in the Malfoy plot."

Ah. Loyalties. They couldn't give Voldemort any more reason to question their rather precarious position.

"I think you should visit her." she said softly.

He nodded, still pressed against her face. "I love you." He murmured again.

She smiled slightly before pressing her lips behind his ear and trailing them down his neck. He let out a shuddering breath and tilted his head to the side.

She trailed down lower, feeling raised scars along his collar bone. She tugged at his shirt, and the action seemed to wake him up, because in a second he'd recaptured her lips with his own.

"I love you Draco. I've loved you since 7th year, and Christ, I never stopped."

He groaned, kissing her slowly before peppering light kisses down her neck. When he paused, with his hands playing with the hem of her shirt, she gave him a slight nod before he tore it off.

"Tell me…" He broke away from sucking on the skin between her breasts. "Tell me when to stop."

She tilted his chin up. "Never."

He looked at her shocked, giving her the opportunity to tear his shirt off. He dropped his head to her neck and resumed his sucking. Her fingers drifted from his collarbone as she traced the scars across his chest. Some she recognized, the faded sectumsempra scars; others…her hand rested on the ones that stretched from his clavicle down toward his left shoulder. They looked like claw marks…. like fangs.

He lifted his head. "Nagini. I'm glad that bloody thing is dead." He muttered before roughly picking her up and heading toward his bedroom.

"When?" She whispered as he dropped her on the bed.

"After Dumbledore." He muttered tracing his own hands down the few scars and bruises on her own body.

"No more talking." He mumbled against her skin.

She nodded, and lifted her hips. The pants were first, then everything else.

"This was all I was imagining after the Winter Ball." He whispered kissing her full on the mouth, before moving his fingers to her core.

"Draco." She hissed.

"Hermione." He whispered reverently. "You're breathtaking."

She wrapped her legs around him and her hands were running through his hair. "I'm glad you think so."

"Cheeky." He murmured, shoving his fingers to stroke faster.

"Only to you, Draco. Only you."

They were devouring each other. One moment, he'd be in control, and the next she'd have flipped the dynamic. They unraveled each other, and by the time she came and he followed a moment later, she was seeing stars and unable to breath.

He collapsed on top of her before sliding to her side, pulling her into him.

She took his hands and pressed her lips to his battered hands.

"So you love me huh?" Draco whispered with his lips against her shoulder.

"I did say that, didn't I?" she said, stifling a yawn.

"No taking it back now."

She craned her neck up to look at him. "Never."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Reviews=love

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

He was trudging up parts of his past he didn't want to remember. Though, if he were honest, he remembered it all the time. It colored his thoughts and tainted his dreams. He was being haunted, and the presence of the passed could not have been stronger anywhere else as he stood staring up at the looming gates before him. They weren't dark and uninviting, unlike the one's that guarded the Manor, but they were intimidating in their own right.

He let out a breath before placing his hand on where the lock hung. His magic hummed and soon the gates swung open letting him through.

He was delaying it. He knew he was, but despite the pep talk from Hermione this morning (along with other things), he wasn't exactly ready for this. Then again, he may never be. Yet this was progress, he'd never made it this far before.

He slipped into the house, and before he realized it, he'd ended up in the room he'd carved out for himself in the house.

It was an eclectic collection of possessions. Some were what he'd inherited from Snape. Others a collection of things of his mother's and other relatives that he'd managed to spirit away.

"How kind of you to finally visit."

He rolled his eyes before stopping in front of a propped up portrait in the corner.

"Hello Severus." He said, unable to stop the slight grin that spread across his face at the voice's sound.

The portrait of his godfather looked down his nose at him.

"You could go to your portrait at Hogwarts, if you need a change of scenery." Draco drawled. Snape shot him a look that used to strike fear into several unsuspecting first years while he'd been alive.

Snape grumbled to himself about insolent children, as his eyes roamed the room and settled on the portrait not far from Severus. It had been empty the few times he'd been here. Now though, to his surprise, a figure was sitting in his seat, arms crossed, staring at him intently.

Regulus Black.

His light blue eyes were so very nearly gray that it made him wonder if that particular trait ran on both sides of his family tree.

He instinctively stepped toward the portrait.

Regulus lifted a brow.

"You look like him."

He felt his face morph into a sour look that broke through his mask.

"I know." He returned, revolted at how he seemed both resigned and acceptant of the fact. Why wouldn't he be? He saw it every time he passed a mirror. He could not escape his father. He was reflected in his own face.

"Regulus." Snape called from his portrait, and Draco got the impression he was issuing a warning.

He stood straighter. He wasn't about to be beaten down by a portrait.

Regulus seemed to ignore Snape, still focused on him. He examined his face and then his eyes drifted down to his forearm like he could see beneath the shirt he was wearing.

"I see the family business is still going strong." He said with a hint of disdain and something he didn't want to try to decipher.

Draco met the gaze of the portrait, and though Regulus didn't flinch or look away something did change in his expression. He was weary looking down at him.

"It's not like you did any different." Draco said, "Not until the end anyway."

At that, if he wasn't so sure portraits could do no harm in the physical world, he would have stepped quite a few feet back at the expression in his cousin's eyes.

Snape was calling out from behind him to leave it, but somehow he felt compelled to stay. Regulus was still glaring at him, but he watched as the fury drained from his face.

"I realized, nearly too late, that no matter what one believes the cost was too much." Regulus said.

Draco studied his face. "But you didn't change your stance did you? You just realized he was a maniac and your conscious got the better of you."

Regulus said nothing, and if anything it prompted him to continue.

"Why did you do it then?" he felt his anger spark at the portrait.

"Because," he finally spoke soft and slow, "Even if I believed in our status did I think it was worth the blood? Was it worth losing my family?"

That struck him silent, because it was something he understood. It was kinship he craved that he couldn't find; not with Theo, Blaise, or even Pansy. This was coming from someone who'd done it first. Someone who shared his blood.

Regulus looked thoughtfully at him, and Draco resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze. "We aren't better because of our blood, but I suspect you already share my feelings."

"We Blacks, we always draw too quickly and play our hand before it's our turn."

"We survive how we can." he murmured, the words all too familiar but still alien on his tongue.

Regulus nodded. His eyes softened slightly. "You do have a bit of your mother in you." He whispered.

Draco froze, and Regulus's lip quirked slightly up at one side.

"Yes, quite a bit."

* * *

He left the room slowly, before he headed outside. He took the long route down through the wilted garden to the stone steps that signaled the beginning of the family plot.

He bit his lip before continuing.

He shivered when he passed the first plot. This was his family, hundreds of years of history could be seen through his ancestors. Good. Bad. Terrible. Yet, it was all his, wasn't it? He was a living dichotomy, someone whose blood went deep into the past and forced him to see into the confines of the future.

He wondered, pausing between his grandparent's headstones, if anyone besides him had ever fully manifested the trait.

He tossed the idea away as he continued. It's not like the knowledge would do him any good now.

Graves don't speak.

He stopped at the last plot and the relatively simple headstone marking its occupant.

 _Narcissa Malfoy neé Black_

He tasted blood from how hard he bit his tongue at reading her name. She deserved more than a simple tombstone and a life cut short. It wasn't fair that when he closed his eyes he could still see her soft blue eyes or hear her laughter and soft humming.

He forced his jaw to loosen and he tore his eyes from her name and downward to the charmed flowers still decorating her grave.

He hesitantly stepped forward noticing that they were covering an epitaph.

He bit his lip and brushed them to the side.

 _I went to the Moon to make a home in the stars._

He fell to his knees, a sob caught in his throat. He hadn't even noticed it before…Had his father put it in? But how did he know about that…

The sob succeeded in forcing its way out, and he realized with a start that he'd been crying long before that.

"Fuck." He hiccupped, before laughing lightly. "You wouldn't like me talking like that very much would you?" He glanced at the headstone before falling back to sit on the grass. He drew his knees up and wrapped them with his arms.

"I'm sorry I haven't been by." He said softly, "I'm sorry you're there to begin with. I..."

 _She wouldn't have wanted you to blame yourself for a choice she made. Especially a choice, I know, she would have made over and over again for you._

Hermione was right. His mother wouldn't want him to blame himself or apologize for something that was not his to control, and yet…

"I still wish you hadn't done it, and maybe that makes me selfish." He laughed slightly again, "But that's not something new."

He sighed, resting his chin atop his arms.

 _I'm sorry I had to leave you alone._

"But you did. You did leave me, and I don't care if it makes me the most selfish person in the world, but I'd rather have you here with me than there." He felt more tears drip down his cheek. "I miss you Mum. I miss you so much it stabs me in the chest."

He sighed and drew his knees closer to his chest as he sobbed until he was sure he had no more tears to give.

When he felt confident he could stand without toppling over, he walked. He walked to the Floo room and from there it was to another of his empty flats. He walked and walked until he got to a familiar looking door and knocked.

It flew open and with one look at him, Andromeda quickly drew him inside and pulled him into her arms.

He felt childish, like he was back to being a 5 year old who had been woken by a nightmare. In a way, this was a nightmare. The only difference was that he couldn't wake up.

Andromeda was rubbing his back in large comforting circles and whispering soothing words into his ear.

"I went to her grave." He managed to choke out, and his aunt's arms tightened around him.

"It's alright love." She whispered, "It's alright. You can let it out."

Her fingers brushed through his hair, and he dropped his head into the crook of Andromeda's neck. The tears he thought he didn't have spilled out.

Andromeda wordlessly led them to the couch, and he had a moment of clarity where he wondered where everyone else was before he fell beside her.

She didn't say anything, letting him cry until he was able to catch his breath again. He rolled his sleeve up and wiped his cheeks. Andromeda smiled weakly at him and kissed his temple.

"I'll get us some tea."

He nodded numbly sinking deeper into the sofa. She returned in a moment with a steaming cup that he accepted greedily.

He took a long sip before wrapping his hands around the warmth of the mug.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come like this. You lost people too…" He trailed off not meeting his aunt's inquisitive gaze. He still wasn't sure what had prompted him to come here, but when Andromeda cleared her throat forcing him to lift his gaze, he knew.

When she looked at him, she looked at him with the very same eyes his mother used too.

"Darling, I've mourned, but you, you haven't." Andromeda let out a long sigh. "Frankly, I wasn't sure you ever would. You never spoke about it, burying it down like it never happened."

He looked down, suddenly very interested in the mug clasped between his hands.

"I just thought I would feel it, like I would know that she was gone somehow."

He let his eyes peek through his lowered lashes and he saw Andromeda regard him curiously. She shook her head after a moment. "I know love." She reached over and placed a hand on his knee and squeezed reassuringly.

"But what made you go visit her now?" She continued.

He felt the corner of his mouth edge up.

"A friend."

Andromeda raised a brow but didn't comment. Though he distinctively got the impression that she knew exactly who this friend was.

He finished his mug and set it down on the table before standing.

Andromeda pursed her lips. "If you'd like, you could stay." She obviously didn't think he should leave in this state.

He shook his head, closing his eyes and letting out a breath. "It's fine. I think I'd like to go and get straight into bed." He rubbed his temples and opened his eyes slowly.

Andromeda nodded once. "That's good. You need the rest." She paused for a moment, "I hope the migraines aren't still troubling you?"

He smiled ruefully. Migraines indeed. Andromeda had been able to put two and two together before he'd even had to tell her about his abilities.

"They're manageable, which reminds me. They're going for Godric's Hollow again."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'll let them know."

He nodded before glancing toward the stairs. "Where's Ted?"

She smiled. "Asleep for his nap, but you're welcome to go up."

She didn't need to even finish the sentence. He was already half way up the stairs. He walked softly to his cousin's room and true to his aunt's word he was asleep.

It was funny. When the little bugger was awake, he couldn't stop playing and altering his appearance, but asleep, his looks relaxed into his natural appearance of soft brown hair like his aunt. He smiled slightly before sitting on the edge of the bed.

The small bundle shifted slightly, and Teddy's eyes fluttered open. They were still unfocused and clouded over with sleep, but somehow he seemed to focus on him.

"Don't be sad Draco." Teddy said slowly putting his small hands on his cheeks.

He sat still, wondering if he hadn't rubbed the tears stains away well enough. Teddy's arm dropped and he closed his eyes.

"Didn't mean to wake you Ted. Go back to sleep." He murmured pressing a chaste kiss to Teddy's temple. The boy murmured something before curling to his side and drawing the sheets closer around his body.

He smiled at the action before he stood and quietly let himself out.

It never failed to shock him how perceptive a 2 year old could be.

* * *

When he stumbled back to the flat, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living room with books and her parchment spread around her. She didn't even try to hide them and instead was solely focused on him.

He glanced down at her before dropping to sit beside her.

She smiled slightly, before taking in the parlor of his cheeks that only highlighted the tightness around his eyes. She leaned over and kissed him softly. He responded eagerly, but he seemed withdrawn, like the exhaustion had finally caught up with him.

She put her papers to the side and gently led him to lay his head in her lap. He let out a soft breath when he rested his head on her thigh and immediately starting to draw patterns on her legs with his fingers.

She stroked his hair, and he hummed in appreciation.

"How was it?" She whispered.

"Terrible." He turned to look up at her, "But I'm glad I went."

She nodded and continued combing through his hair as his eyes closed.

"Here I am throwing all this emotional shit at you and I haven't even asked…." He swallowed roughly, "Are your parents ok?"

"Yes," She took a breath suddenly very grateful that Draco had his eyes closed. "Yes. They're safe."

He looked up at her nodding. She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "That book you gave me helped. I was grateful for it when I went to…It didn't take at first, I almost had to cast twice."

Draco frowned, and he seemed to contemplate something, but his thoughts were interrupted by a grimace. She saw his hand come up as though to go to his temple, but she beat him by taking her hands down from his hair to rub the tension from the side of his head.

"Do you need a potion?"

She wasn't sure what response she was expecting, but she'd hoped he'd accept. He shook his head, his hair brushing against her legs.

"Tell me about them." He said instead.

She smiled and she paused her hand motions through his tresses.

"You really want to know?"

He peeked beneath his lashes. "Yes, and keep bloody doing that." He murmured.

She grinned and resumed playing with his hair as she told him about her parents, which led to her childhood. More often than not, he'd stop her with a question or two, and she was surprised at how curious he was about the simple parts of her life rather than the discrepancies of muggle technology to magic.

It felt like she told him everything; from her parents trying for other children and doctors telling them they were lucky to have even conceived her to learning to ride a bike and her first displays of magic.

' _Only you would have used magic for the first time to try to reach a book on a shelf." He laughed lightly before wincing and reaching to rub his forehead._

She'd laughed with him and that had led to his story about his first display of magic (flying up to reach for an apple only to get stuck in the tree) and story after story until she'd joined him laying prone on the floor.

His head was buried in her middle as he cradled around her, bringing a smile to her lips. She'd never taken him to be one to cling onto another, not when he had such a restrained and prickly exterior. Oddly enough, she liked that he was full of contradictions, complex. She was never bored.

He was on the verge of sleep, but nowhere near relaxed in her arms.

 _His head must be killing him._

It had led her to suggest again a pain potion, and she was met with another refusal. Though, he argued, he was already on his way to sleep so it couldn't be so bad. She'd acquiesced, and they'd fallen between the sheets of his bed.

They were lying to face one another, soft breaths on the other's cheeks.

Draco was examining her and in seconds he'd pressed his lips softly against hers. Hungrily, she responded, and they pressed even closer to each other. His tongue asked for entrance and she easily allowed it. Like most times, she fell deeply into the motions, and when they broke away to breathe, she couldn't help feel disappointed.

"Merlin." His forehead settled on hers. His breath came in shaky gasps.

"Draco." Her fingers brushed his cheeks, cradling his face. He forced his eyes open and met her concerned eyes. "Are you ok?"

"You can make it stop, make it quiet." He murmured, brushing his lips over hers again. There was a slight crease in her brow before her eyes widened in understanding. She raised her head to meet his mouth again. "Good." She whispered against his lips.

"I love you."

He said it like a prayer, and she shivered in response to it. Frankly, she was finding, it was no small thing to be loved by him.

"I know." She said pulling away from him and running her nimble hands through his hair, "Gods, I love you too."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he let his head drop to rest on hers.

"Don't forget it." She whispered, near his ear, "Don't forget it, even when it gets loud."


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

The migraine lasted two weeks.

It was painful to watch him struggle through it.

 _Why do you keep refusing potions that would help you? She'd asked._

 _He'd stared at her for a moment before wincing. Because I'm too reliant on them as it is, and I've already seen enough of addiction. My father and his bottle when I was young was more than enough exposure._

She hadn't known what to say to that, but it didn't do anything to diminish the fervor for which she pestered him about taking anything to help.

In the end, a combination of her constant nagging and the discomfort won out.

His need to deny potions was broken after the first week, and even before that he'd caved enough to begin taking the migraine potion tablets that he'd made. She wasn't sure how much it helped, seeing how light was torture and sometimes in the night before they fell asleep he would be in actual tears over the pain.

 _It's the visions._ He'd said. _It means something's about to happen._

He didn't exactly say what.

Though somehow she thought it might be the Godric's Hollow attack he told her was being planned.

She shook her head over the cauldron she was letting brew with another batch of pain potions. She needed to keep busy and Draco's supplies were low.

The color finally settled and she cut the fire from beneath it, letting it cool before she bottled it.

She'd wanted to learn to encapsulate them, but Draco hadn't had the time, nor the energy really, to teach her. Though, his notes were fair game, but somehow, she wanted to actual watch him do it the first time before she attempted to experiment with it on her own.

She sighed leaning against the counter of the kitchen. He'd surprised her this morning before he left that they would be going out. First to Diagon Alley and next to visit Andromeda, and she couldn't decide which one elicited the most excitement for her. She grinned slightly at how Pansy and by extension Theo had invited themselves along. It was nearing Christmas and from what she could discern Draco had no decorations.

Just because she was trapped didn't mean she wasn't going to make the most of it, and adopting holiday spirit right now would be appreciated if not for Draco than certainly for herself.

She wondered how they'd celebrated holidays at Malfoy Manor. The looming mansion hardly lent itself to light and festivities.

 _She could find out…._

She shook her head. She'd betrayed his confidence in reading in his mother's diary; though, he had been rather forgiving when she'd confessed to it. He'd shrugged it off, and told her it was easier than him telling her about his mother. But, when he said it, he'd just taken a rather strong pain potion and was rather relaxed and detached. She strongly believed that had he been completely aware, he wouldn't have been as nonchalant on the matter.

She'd told him about her parchments. It's seemed only fair. His reaction was odd. Even now, it puzzled her. He'd grown incredibly quiet before saying he remembered reading these parchments before the Battle. Other than that, he didn't seem to have much of an answer for why they were so important. He had offered more parchments that he'd collected from the Ministry as part of her research.

She took them greedily filled with a strange sense of contentment that they were finally working together for something.

She moved slowly out of the kitchen and towards the study. Her wand popped easily into her hand and she found herself undoing the wards and pulling out Narcissa's diary.

Her eyes brushed passed a December date, and instead she found herself unconsciously flipping to two months after the first entry she'd viewed.

She felt like a glutton for punishment. It wasn't like she enjoyed seeing Draco suffering, but his childhood illness explained so much of his early behavior at Hogwarts. His arrogance and acts of rebellion to put up a front for how truly damaging the incident had been.

Yet, as her fingers went to trace the leather edges, she realized her intense curiosity about this had nothing to do with Draco. Rather, she was enraptured at his parents. She'd never known the Malfoys, probably never would, but a part of her wanted to know where Draco had come from. It was no little thing that the one memory she'd seen of Narcissa had shown her formidable strength of character.

She was curious.

She sighed and began to read.

* * *

As with before, she felt her eyes closing and when she opened them she was back in the same hospital room she'd seen in the first memory.

This time, she was up on the bed with Draco asleep and curled into her side, his head resting on her thigh.

His breathing was low and shallow, and her heart clenched at the look of an IV coming from his tiny arm. Her gaze followed the tubing to a bag of fluid. Based on the color, it looked like a nourishing potion.

There were a few spells displaying his vitals but other than that the room was the same. She glanced down at Draco, and brushed through his hair with her fingers. He seemed paler, thinner, and his brow was furrowed even in deep sleep.

She let out a breath and didn't move when the door to the room opened.

Lucius Malfoy entered without waiting for her to invite him in.

He stopped at the foot of the bed, his gray eyes went to her face, well Narcissa's, before dropping down to take in Draco.

His eyes softened and there was something in them that gave her the impression he felt guilty.

"How is he?"

She blinked, unsure if she had actually heard anything. His voice had been uncharacteristically soft.

She let out a sigh.

"I asked him if he wanted to go out for a walk again. He enjoyed it so much the other time, but," her breath hitched, "he said he was too tired."

It wasn't really an answer to what Lucius had asked, but he seemed to accept it as sufficient.

He nodded and came further toward the head of the bed before sitting near her knees.

He bent over and his fingers went to a stain on Draco's shirt that she'd missed in her earlier assessment. Again, Narcissa's voice came from her lips.

"He had another nosebleed. Scared me silly when it wouldn't stop."

Lucius's head shot up to meet her gaze. He'd paled and after a moment he reached a hand out to brush strands of Draco's fringe to the side. She bit her lip when she noticed it was trembling.

"Lucius." She said lowly, "We have to start talking about the options the healers suggested."

"Narcissa."

"No, Lucius." She said sharply, "He's deteriorating in front of my eyes and if this transfusion procedure will help than I want him to have it."

Lucius sagged.

"We will both get tested."

"No." Inwardly, she blinked at the furious tone of Narcissa's voice.

"The healer said that if we had a relative closest in age to Draco, the procedure had a greater chance of working."

Lucius blinked, before his jaw tightened.

"I will not have that…"

Hermione seethed as she put two and two together. Tonks. Narcissa must be talking about asking Andromeda if her daughter would volunteer for the transfusion. Yet, even with Draco this ill, he was still clinging to pureblood ideals.

At this point, she wasn't sure where Narcissa's anger ended and hers began.

"We have options." Narcissa interrupted, "And we will discuss them both."

Both?

Ah.

Lucius's estranged sister.

Lucius was still silent, his jaw still tight, and she noticed a vein in his neck jutting out.

"You will agree Lucius. The situation was already grave when we got here. If we'd caught it before…"

"You don't have to remind me. You know I regret it. If I hadn't punished him for such a trivial…" Lucius began.

"It doesn't matter now." Narcissa said.

Hermione disagreed. She thought it mattered very much why Lucius felt guilty. Whatever this punishment was, he'd felt it had worsened Draco's condition. Based on their reactions, it must have been the event that keyed them in that Draco wasn't well.

"What matters right now is Draco." Narcissa said, her voice slightly trembling as it passed from her lips, "I nearly lost him before he was born. I will not lose him now Lucius."

He looked up and seemed to study her, no Narcissa's face, for quite some time before he cleared his throat.

"If he's not better by the end of the month, or if he gets worse, then we will start the transfusions."

She nodded after a moment of consideration.

Lucius sighed and looked back down to Draco. "We will not lose him." He murmured.

* * *

Hermione blinked as she was pulled from the memory, and not a second later she heard the ring of the Floo.

She set the journal back into its place before going out to the living room.

She couldn't help it, but the minute she saw his light head, she went straight for him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

He dropped his arms after a moment's hesitation and drew her closer to him.

"Hey." He whispered bending his head low to her ear, "What's the matter?"

She shook her head against his chest before looking up into his eyes.

She bit her lip, unsure if she was on the verge of crying or smiling that he was indeed here before her. "Nothing." She said, forcing a smile on her face, "I…I'm just really excited to finally be going outside this flat."

Draco inclined his head to the side, a slight look of doubt on his face before he bent down and kissed her softly on the lips.

"You look like you needed that." He murmured before stepping away from her.

She blinked and took in the sight of both Pansy and Theo smirking at her from behind Draco. She could feel her cheeks heating. Pansy's smirk seemed to widen into a full grin before she stepped forward and grabbed her hand.

"Come on Granger let's sort your Glamour."

She had no time to even react before Pansy had her in the guest room with door firmly shut.

Pansy let out a sigh. "Alright Granger, what's the matter?"

She shook her head. "I was just reading Narcissa's diary again."

Pansy shot her a look, her eyes narrowing before she shook her head.

"I know what you were reading. Don't punish yourself by reading about that time."

She said nothing, but turned toward the mirror and began charming her hair in long straight black tresses.

Pansy came up behind her and lightened her skin a shade before turning to her eyes, studying them for a moment.

"Keep them. No one's going to recognize the change." Pansy said after a moment.

Hermione nodded before turning to grab a jacket and scarf when she heard Pansy clear her throat from behind her.

"Granger."

She turned her head enough to watch Pansy out of the corner of her eyes.

"Past is the past. Let's have some fun today. After all, I don't think this place looks nearly festive enough."

She felt her mouth quirk up. Pansy smiled, a change from her normal smirk or grin. It smoothed the edges of her face, and Hermione found that it made Pansy look exceedingly more approachable. Like someone she could be friends with.

"Here's hoping the boys are in for holiday shopping." Hermione said slipping into her coat.

Pansy laughed from behind her as they both left the room toward the Floo.

She found as she stepped up to the Floo clutching her wand that was stowed away in her pocket that there were fewer places that she would rather be than right here.

* * *

She could feel him watching her the minute she stepped out of the Floo.

She must have truly concerned him if he was going out of his way to keep his eyes on her. She bit her lip and let Pansy link her arms through hers as they walked out of the Leaky and into Diagon Alley. Her eyes would stray toward Draco, watching him to gage how he was feeling. He seemed relaxed, but not completely so. His eyes still scanned the area, as though he was waiting for someone to come out from behind a corner and attack.

In his defense, it was a legitimate risk.

She picked out a bag and examined it. It was sturdy leather. In all actuality, it was quite nice; definitely an improvement from her old beaded handbag. This excursion was a supply trip as much as it was an opportunity to have some fun.

Bag. Clothing. A tent.

She was preparing.

In truth, she had been preparing for a while now. She'd been putting some of Draco's things to the side as well. Books. His clothes. He seemed to note their absence, but he hadn't said anything on the subject.

She got the impression he was simply avoiding a fight.

It made her fist tighten so that her fingernails dug into her palms.

He was coming with her that much she knew for sure.

She watched him pay for her things (after her numerous protests).

He had no reason to stay longer. He'd done enough, gotten enough information. He finished the transaction, and she caught him wince as he turned away from the shop owner.

She had a feeling this lifestyle he had elected for himself was more detrimental than he let on.

She was happy that starting today, he wouldn't have duties until New Year's.

"How'd he manage to get so much time away?" She asked Theo when Draco had broken away to go to the apothecary.

"Last year, he didn't say anything. Just pawned off his duties." Theo said shaking his head, "Then, he convinced them he was away on business and the Malfoy holdings were particularly sensitive this time of year."

She snorted. "Really? And Lucius didn't correct them?"

Theo glanced quickly around them before shooting her an exasperated expression. "Why would Lucius say anything? Besides." He shook his head, "It's not like he would know. Ever since he was arrested that time in 5th year…"

She snorted again. Arrested was a harsh term. Lucius had been apprehended and put in Azkaban for 3 months before he was released. Hardly much time at all, considering all he'd done.

"Draco's been managing the estate, well for the most part." Theo finished.

She blinked as she took in everything he'd said. "But." She began slowly, "Isn't it custom in pureblood families that only the Head of the House manages the estate?"

Theo gave her a long look.

"Right." She murmured. Draco had become the Head of his family. She felt slightly embarrassed that she hadn't put it all together. No wonder he never seemed concerned about his father's meddling into his affairs. His father would force himself to resist, no matter how much he may want too.

The one thing that you could always expect from purebloods is their irrational need to cling to traditions.

 _Well, at least the older generation._

She stole a glance at Theo who was now focused on Draco and Pansy who were both making their way back to them. She caught a dangerous gleam in Pansy's eyes and had only a moment to prepare before she was yanked away in one direction.

"Alright enough supply shopping. We're doing gifts now, so both of you shoo." Pansy called over her shoulder, "And make sure to get a tree!"

Hermione groaned at the attention Pansy was drawing, but the girl only laughed in response.

True to her word Pansy dragged her to every boutique in Diagon Alley, places she didn't think she remembered ever being there. She wanted to get gifts for everyone, even those who were staying with Andromeda, and for this Pansy proved to be a big help. Though, near the end, one gift was still alluding her.

Draco.

He was proving to be impossible to shop for. Everything she could possibly get him; he could get himself.

Pansy had pressed her lips into a smug smile at her frustration.

"I think he'd love anything you gave him, even if it was only just a good memory." Pansy said, seeing the look on her face, her smile widened. "But, if it helps, get something that has meaning. Something only the two of you would understand."

Hermione had pondered that as they walked on through the Alley. She paused when Flourish and Bolts came into view. She bit her lip as a laugh threatened to make its way out. Then she pulled Pansy by the arm toward the bookstore.

* * *

"You're awfully quiet Theo." Draco said leaning against a lamp post as they waited for Hermione and Pansy to finish.

Theo dug his hands into his pockets as the wind picked up. Draco shuddered at the sudden drop in the temperature. These days the cold seemed to go right through him.

"Shouldn't you be worried about what you're getting your girlfriend for the holiday?" Theo retorted without sparing him a glance.

Draco winced. He knew Theo was slightly bitter that Daphne had continued to keep her distance. It had been a major contributor to his deteriorating mood. Considering it had been a week since the letter, he wasn't too surprised. Theo had held on longer than he would have in any case.

Theo shook his head, running both his hands through his hair. He cupped the back of his neck and shot him an apologetic look.

"Didn't mean to snap."

"S'fine."

Theo sighed.

"I spoke to my father." His voice was low.

He felt his familiar mask of indifference slide across his face before he let his eyes wander around them. When he was satisfied that they weren't being watched, or followed for that matter, he stepped closer to Theo.

"What?" he hissed.

Theo let out another breath. "He told me he'd fake my death if I wanted."

Draco drew in a sharp breath. Faking a death to get away. So Theo's father still possessed a sense of familial obligation. He ignored the sharp stab in his gut when his mind drifted to Lucius.

"And you believe him."

Theo didn't answer for a moment. "He said he'd even help Daphne out. Then he mentioned something about the continuation of the family line." Theo scowled.

 _Well the reasoning wasn't perfect, but the sentiment was there._

"What," he licked his lips, which were becoming chapped rather quickly in the chilled air, "What did you say?"

Theo looked up at him.

"I told him that I appreciated the offer and I'd keep it in mind, but for now, there are things I can't leave behind."

It was probably one of the most genuine expression of sentiments they'd ever exchanged, and frankly, he was floored.

Theo smirked slightly before shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the lamp post.

"So have you?"

Draco blinked momentarily lost at what Theo was talking about.

"Have you gotten anything for your _girlfriend_?"

He cursed his fair complexion for being so easy to give himself away. He could feel the heat drift to his face, and he bit the inside of his lip as he shrugged.

Theo's smirk grew.

"I…" He coughed, "I actually got her something before…before the Battle. I'm going to give it to her now." His eyes drifted down to his shoes.

"Oh." Theo said.

Draco stole a glance at the other. Theo had dropped his smirk, though there was some hint of his amusement in his eyes.

He was thankfully saved from having to say more, when he heard familiar voices engaged in easy chatter.

"Well you miserable bastards." Pansy announced before kissing Theo's cheek and repeating the action to him. "Have fun."

Hermione frowned. "Are you not…"

"Occlumency shields Granger." Pansy leaned in as though to give her hug, "It's probably best I don't know everything."

Pansy turned on her heel and with one last wave she disappeared, her dark bob swaying as she stepped.

Hermione frowned, but turned back to them.

"Shall we." Draco motioned and didn't wait to see if they were walking behind him as he stepped down the street toward his aunt's home.

* * *

She watched Draco out of the corner of her eye. He went through a routine as they walked. Look around. Look behind them. He'd wince every so often, letting her know that the migraine still hadn't abated.

She held her breath as they stopped in front of a door and Draco knocked.

"What'd you list this one under?" Theo muttered from behind him.

She thought she might have seen Draco smile for a moment before he answered.

"Lucius Black."

Theo snorted just as the door swung open and they were ushered in.

They were barely into the sitting room before a thundering pair of footsteps coupled with a small blonde head rushed in and threw their tiny arms around Draco's legs.

She inclined her head and watched as Draco shot her a smirk before adopting a frustrated scowl.

"Ted, are you trying to tackle me to the floor?"

The small figure shook his head against his legs before looking up to Draco's face.

"Drake-o you're not really mad."

Draco cracked a smile before bending down and scooping Teddy up into his arms.

He turned to them. She resisted the urge to laugh as Teddy's eyes widened at the sight of Theo and her. He bent closer to Draco and whispered something in his ear.

Draco shook his head, silently laughing before he managed to introduce the two of them.

"You remember Theo, don't you Ted?"

Teddy stared at Theo a moment before nodding. "And this is Hermione." Draco shifted him in his arms so that he was facing her.

Teddy turned his gaze to her before inclining his head and glancing between Theo and her.

"You have the same eyes." He said simply before fussing with Draco to put him down and scurrying up the nearby steps.

Draco rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth tugged up.

Hermione was stunned at the scene, unsure if it had all actually occurred. Theo looked thoughtful, but avoided her gaze. She shook her head. It didn't mean much. Theo's eyes were green. Hers were sort of green. She supposed it made sense he would voice his observations.

She bit her lip before forcing a smile on her face.

She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at the greeting though. She knew Harry spoke to Teddy occasionally, and he'd told his godson about them all. Though, thinking about it now, she supposed she couldn't fairly expect a child to retain and connect the person to the story if he'd never met them.

"He'll warm up to you dear."

She blinked and turned to the woman standing a ways behind them near an entrance to another room.

Andromeda Tonks.

The resemblance to her sister was uncanny. For a moment, she forgot just who she was standing in front of. Though, after a moment, the differences were easy to see. Her face was smooth, her eyes kind and alert, and her hair was a lovely chestnut brown. It was easy to see how beautiful the woman before her was despite the hardships she'd experienced over her life.

"Andromeda." Draco inclined his head in polite greeting.

Andromeda shot him a look, which elicited a snort from Draco. "Aunt Andromeda." He corrected.

The woman cracked a smile and seemed to glide as she came to stand before Draco and appraise him.

She looked between the two, and found she could pick apart the resemblance between them once they stood side by side.

The shape of the eyes, slope of the neck, the proud, though slender, shape of their shoulders. She drifted her eyes back up to the face. The cheekbones.

She allowed herself a small smile.

Every Black she'd ever met had striking looks. The two of them were no exception.

She watched as Andromeda cupped Draco's cheek and let her fingers go to the slight blemishes beneath his eyes. She sighed in disapproval before she turned to the two of them.

"Ah Theo, it's good to see you again." Her tone was warm as she turned to repeat the appraisal process on Theo. She clucked her tongue in disapproval. "If the two of you insist on trying my nerves, at least take care of yourselves properly." Theo grinned before telling her that yes he was eating properly and yes he would make sure Draco was eating properly as well.

Finally, Andromeda turned to her and surprised her when she drew her up into her arms.

She stiffened before relaxing into the hug.

"I'm so glad you're alright dear."

"Thank you Ms. Tonks."

Andromeda pulled away, shaking her head. "Call me Andromeda dear." She said before turning to usher them to have a seat and saying the others would be down shortly.

Hermione frowned. Others?

She stole a glance at Draco who had settled into a seat and motioned for her to join.

"Others?" She whispered.

Draco shrugged, looking up toward the steps at the sound of footsteps.

"It's a kind of safe house." Theo answered as he also glanced in the same direction.

She was about to ask who else was here when she heard a familiar voice shout out her name and come barreling into the room.

She stood quickly.

"Dean?"

The boy, man really, in question came closer and threw his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Oh my gods Dean, when you didn't report back after that mis-"

"-Got stuck in the city before the wards went up-"

They broke away looking at one another before bursting out in laughter.

"I'm glad you're alright Dean."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Cut it close for a minute, but Malfoy found me and brought me here." He said with begrudging respect as he cast his eyes to the wizard in question.

"He hasn't hurt you Mione?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. In response, Dean threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey. Hey I had to ask."

She turned her head as more voices came into the room. She turned her head and noticed Hannah talking with Draco and an unruly Teddy in her grasp, who was fighting to be turned over to his cousin.

"I don't get how the bugger likes him so much. After all he's still a Death Eater."

"Dean." She scolded turning back to face her friend.

Dean shrugged his shoulders his eyes still narrowed in as Draco accepted Teddy from Hannah.

"If he were a bad man, Teddy wouldn't like him." She pursed her lips as she watched Teddy begin chattering away and waving a figurine in his hand, pointing for Draco to sit down on the couch.

"I trust him Dean. He's been on our side since the beginning."

* * *

Draco smiled at Teddy as he spelled his figurine to demonstrate the Quidditch move Dean had been telling the poor kid about.

He had to admit though that the constant chatter was getting to him. He rubbed between his brows at another flare of pain. This migraine had been the bane of his existence for the past two weeks. He'd thought it was finally gone this morning, but it was rapidly becoming apparent that that was not the case.

The same familiar house was beginning to blur into the scene before him, and he swore he could hear people shouting. He shuddered as he blocked the images out with practiced ease. This vision was something he knew.

Godric's Hollow.

No matter how he looked at it, he couldn't help but feel uneasy about this attack.

He felt someone tug at his sleeve, and he shifted his hand from his face to see Teddy staring at him, concern in his eyes that he'd turned to match his.

"Does your head hurt again Draco?"

He gave him a weak smile before ruffling the boy's hair.

"It's fine Ted."

Teddy bit his lip. "We can be quiet." He said solemnly.

He felt a full smile overtake him quickly. How on earth was Teddy even related to him? The kid was too kind to share his blood.

"I promise it's fine, but." He knelt his head to whisper into Teddy's ear. "You don't have to be loud to have fun."

Teddy pulled away, his eyes wide.

"Really?"

He nodded before leaning in and whispering again in his cousin's ear. When he was sure Teddy understood the plan, he sent the bugger off to tempt Theo into position.

He watched as Teddy charmed Theo into following him up the steps, and when he was sure no one was watching, he cast a sticking charm up the staircase.

It wasn't long before Teddy came squealing down the steps as Theo shouted from the top of the staircase.

He winked at Teddy, who promptly broke out into laughter before drifting off to tell someone else about the prank he'd pulled.

He shook his head laughing silently to himself as he knelt on the wall waiting for Theo to unstick himself.

"I've got to say, no matter how many times I see it, being good with children is not something I'd thought our Slytherin Prince and resident Sex God would have."

He stifled a groan and hoped to Merlin that he was not blushing at the silly titles he'd earned in Hogwarts.

"Don't you know that you can't believe everything you hear from the Hogwarts rumor mill." He said turning his head and nodding to Pucey in greeting. "Some of those rumors were vastly exaggerated."

"Some being the key word." Adrian replied.

He shrugged, letting his eyes drift to Hermione who seemed to be catching up with Abbot. He was pleased that Teddy seemed to have warmed up to her, at least if his chattering was anything to go by.

For a moment, her eyes caught his and she blushed slightly before smiling and then turning her focus back on Teddy.

He could feel Pucey's gaze drift from Hermione back to him before he smirked.

"A good rumor went a long way in our Common Room." Draco said then, drawing Pucey's attention from Hermione back to him.

Adrian snorted, but didn't argue.

They both turned to look up the steps as Theo stumbled down, shooting him a glare. "Prat." Theo said.

He exchanged a look with Adrian and the two burst out in laughter that seemed to drag on too long for Theo.

"Alright. Alright. Enough." Theo snapped.

Adrian smirked and cleared his throat.

"Right, as amusing as it is that Nott was tricked by a 2 year old," Theo growled, though Adrian easily ignored him, as he continued, "I was actually wondering if you'd figured a way out for us yet Malfoy."

He sighed, stealing a quick look at Hermione.

"I have."

Adrian's brow rose, "But."

"But it's risky. Even with the papers and polyjuice, you cross the border and pass the apparition wards, there's still the matter that not all of you have wands." He glanced at Pucey, "And illegal apparition is still monitored at the Ministry, even outside the city."

Pucey looked sour, as he nodded in understanding.

"Though, if there was a distraction or something it might leave you with better odds." Theo said after a moment.

Draco frowned. It was a valid point. In fact, it may not even require a distraction. There were certain days that were remarkably more lax than others. The more he thought about it, the more he found himself caving to the idea.

"New Year's Day." He said then.

Both of the former Slytherin's turned their heads to him.

"New Year's Day." He repeated, "Patrols will be nearly non-existent. Ministry presence will be down. Anyone there will probably be hung over. It would be a good time to get everyone out."

He saw Theo mentally begin to analyze what he'd said and Pucey looked thoughtful, as though he was already plotting escape.

He met Theo's eyes, and after a moment he nodded in agreement.

Pucey smiled slightly.

"I'll start planning then."

* * *

She tried to keep her eyes from drifting too often to Draco. It seemed futile though. She couldn't help but smile when she caught his own come forth in response to something Teddy had done.

She took it in, slow, savoring the rare sight. Her eyes went from the slight shake in his shoulders from the laughter to that same right dimple she'd only seen a handful of times.

Gods.

He looked the best like that.

Like he was momentarily free.

She smiled to herself and was thankful that Hannah had had to get up and do something or another, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Her brow rose at the sight of Adrian Pucey.

 _Another renegade Slytherin?_

The only other sight that left her at a loss were the two figures on the opposite side of the room. They looked like siblings, both with dark mocha skin, but light brown eyes. The boy looked to be her age, the girl was decidedly younger.

"The Winters." Dean said sitting beside her, "They came with Pucey one night."

She turned her head toward Dean, though her vision lingered on the pair.

"Half-bloods. Their mum was a muggle."

She let out a breath.

"How'd Pucey know them?"

"Well, one of them's the reason he's been disowned."

Hermione frowned.

"Why on earth…"

"Andrew." Dean said, "Adrian Pucey got disowned for carrying on with Andrew Winters."

Her stomach clenched and she looked back to Adrian, really examining him. She almost gave up when she did catch his eye drift toward the boy in question and soften momentarily.

She wondered how hard that had been.

Her eyes drifted to Draco.

She let out a breath.

Incredibly hard.

She could speak from experience.

"Hermione dear." She tore her focus from Draco up to Andromeda. "I was wondering if you'd help me with something in the kitchen."

She opened her mouth and closed it. She had no real reason to deny the witch's request, so begrudgingly she left her safe spot on the couch and followed Andromeda into a small, but tidy kitchen.

Andromeda regarded her intently.

"I don't know you very well Hermione." She began, "But by all accounts you are a formidable foe, a powerful ally, and…" Andromeda paused then her cool eyes moved from Hermione's feet up to her head. "And a truly remarkable friend."

Hermione squared her shoulders despite the trembling in her chest.

"I try to be."

Andromeda nodded, as though her response was exactly right.

She let out a breath, unsure what exactly was meant to be gained by this. It was beginning to feel more and more like an interrogation.

"I see how you look at him, that nephew of mine."

Her brow shot up to her hairline, and she found her voice had died in her throat.

She took in Andromeda's expression, her neck poised high and her shoulders back. She appeared every bit the regal Black she'd been raised as. Though when she looked at her, she didn't feel like she was being snubbed. Andromeda was regarding her with curiosity, like one does an equal.

"And I see how he looks at you." Andromeda pursed her lips, "He would give you everything, the world if he had it."

She seemed to finally regain enough of her voice to finally speak.

"I don't need it." Hermione whispered. The gravity of that statement was too much. The fact that Andromeda could sense it at all, when they hadn't been together from the moment they entered the room left her feeling warm and cold at the same time. It made her feel raw, and yet, she couldn't deny the premise of what had been said.

 _It was, in a way, exactly what she would do for him._

"Hermione." Andromeda said with a faraway look in her eyes, "That boy, that nephew of mine, he's going to have the world, whether he realizes it or not. It's in him. That need for it; to take and mold something in a way he can be proud of."

Her heart beat frantically, and she wondered, for a moment, if she was still breathing.

"So I ask you Hermione." Andromeda said turning back to her, and she was struck with the thought that in another life she could have and should have been having this conversation with Narcissa not her sister, "If Draco comes with the world…"

And here was the test.

She didn't even think about her response before it was out.

"I take them both." Hermione said without blinking.

A wryly grin stretched across Andromeda's face, "Good girl." She turned back to rummage through the kitchen. "Gods knows that between the both of you, the world will actually be at your feet for better or worse."

Hermione turned away quickly letting herself get lost in the pattern of the table cloth; unsure if she wanted to think about the implication of Andromeda's words or if she actually agreed with them.

 _I take them both._

She already had.

* * *

She caught up with Draco and Theo soon after her talk with Andromeda. It wasn't long after that they'd left, with Andromeda extracting a promise for them to be back for Christmas. When they returned to the flat, Theo broke away to head home.

She saw Draco's uneasy expression at Theo's departure. She vowed to ask him if he'd rather Theo stay with them. It's not as though she used the guest room now.

The apartment had been decorated all except for a tree in the corner of the living room that had a piece of parchment hanging off a branch. She took the note, grinning at Pansy's antics, glad that the other girl had at least left one piece of decorating for them to do.

Draco had shaken his head at the sight, but she saw the slight quirk in his lips that betrayed his amusement.

She'd immediately starting rummaging through ornaments and lights. Draco had stood there and accepted everything she handed him, while dutifully following her directions for where to place them.

She blinked up at the completed tree with a grin playing at her lips. She turned and found Draco watching her from the couch. His eyes were hooded as he looked up at her. His expression was soft, but she saw the tension still in his shoulders, despite lying flat on his stomach across the sofa. He saw her grin slip. and he lifted himself up. She didn't miss the way he winced at the motion.

"What?" he asked softly.

"How long has your head been hurting again?"

He shook his head. "Not long." His breath hitched at the end.

She walked swiftly over to the couch and took his head into her hands, messaging through his hair. He moaned at her movements, and she felt the tension recede as she continued. She frowned at the slight heat in his skin.

"I really don't want to see anymore." He muttered dropping his head into her lap completely.

She moved her hands down to his neck and then back up to the back of his head.

"Let me get you a potion."

He shook his head against her thigh.

"Draco."

"It took something cataclysmic for father to stop drinking. I don't want to even start." He muttered.

He turned to look up at her and her fingers automatically went to brush his hair from his eyes. His forehead was warm against her fingertips.

"What happened?"

She grimaced as the words left her lips.

His gaze darkened, looking away. "He…he lost it while he'd been drinking, took it out on me and…"

Her eyes widened. "They found out you were sick after."

He nodded.

She pressed a kiss to his temple. "No more bad thoughts tonight."

She tugged on his arm and he followed without protest behind her, pausing only when she reached the bathroom door.

She kissed him softly before flicking her wand to fill the tub.

He seemed to catch on and he let her strip him slowly before climbing into the tub.

He lent his head back on the edge and raised his brow expectedly.

She smiled and didn't waste time in climbing in behind him. He rested his head against her chest and hummed as his fingers traced patterns on her thighs.

"Is it helping?"

He nodded before turning around and lathering her in soap and rinsing her off. His fingers made quick work of her muscles, and she found herself closing her eyes, with her head thrown back.

"You're the one who's supposed to be relaxing." She murmured.

He laughed, kissing her soundly on the mouth. "This is relaxing." He said moving his hand suggestively lower.

"Incorrigible." She muttered leaning into him to press kisses down his neck.

She opened her eyes then to look into his. They were watching her intently, memorizing her features.

She could see his words in them.

 _What did I do to deserve this?_

She hated that. She hated that he would probably always feel that way to some extent; insecure and worried that he'd lose whatever happiness he'd found.

She kissed his temple, relieved that the slight fever she'd felt earlier had gone.

Then she kissed him slow taking her time until he grew impatient and his tongue forced its way in.

They were content to just stay in the tub like that, moving their hands over the other and tangling their limbs closer. By the time they did get out, the skin of their fingers and toes were crinkled.

Draco looked like he was on the edge of sleep when they crawled into his bed a few drying spells later.

"I have a bad feeling about Godric's Hollow." He murmured as he curled around her and trapped her legs between his.

She hummed in response and tightened her own hold around him. She had guessed that Godric's Hollow was the subject of his most recent onslaught of visions, and she was praying, against all odds, he'd be able to throw the leadership back to Dolohov and not go.

"Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about something happy."

Draco snorted and she laughed silently at the expression of disbelief on his face.

"Tell me something." She murmured moving herself closer to him. "Tell me a good Christmas memory."

He gave her a look, before rolling his eyes. "Alright." He mused, thinking for a moment, "Well then last Christmas is out, the happiest thing that happened then was I caught strep and slept through the holiday."

His free hand went to his left forearm tracing the light white bands marring the flesh. Somehow, she got the impression that strep had been the least of his worries last year.

He bent his head and kissed her forehead as he continued to think.

"Hmm. Alright, I think I've got one." He said softly against her skin. He pulled away and absently ran his and through her hair. "One of my earliest memories, I was maybe 4."

She nodded to show she was following.

"My mum used to throw a gala on the night before Christmas Eve. It was an elaborate affair, getting an invitation was a great honor." He snorted before biting his lip, becoming lost in the memory. "I'd snuck away from the elf that was supposed to be watching me and wondered into the ballroom where mum was organizing the final touches on the decorations."

She smiled picturing the scene.

"The musicians were setting up and for a moment my mother seemed to forget anyone was in the room as she lost herself in their playing, dancing slow to the beat. Then, like the petulant child I was, I decided I wanted her attention."

She giggled, tracing his jaw.

"I still think you're a bit of petulant child in that way."

He grinned, stealing another kiss from her.

"I told her to teach me what she was doing... I remember she laughed and took my hands into hers as she tried to get me to make the same steps like she was doing." He laughed lightly, "Eventually she just told me to step up onto her feet and she did the steps even slower so I wouldn't fall off."

He smiled leaning his head against hers.

"That's." she cleared her throat, "That's a lovely memory."

He made a sound of agreement before meeting her eyes.

"Your turn."

She smiled slightly, not having to think about her memory at all.

"Until the age of 7, my parents and I lived in a flat in the city, after that we moved to a bigger house further away." She bit her lip, "I loved that flat."

Draco hummed to show he was listening as he idly continued to play with her hair.

"Every Christmas we spent in that flat, my father would take me up to the roof of our building, and we'd build a snowman."

"Why?"

She laughed, shaking her head, "So Santa would know which building was ours."

Draco chuckled, his eyes closing.

"Then we'd sit up until everyone else's lights were off after I'd begged him that I could and would be sitting up and waiting for Santa to visit."

"Stubborn even then." Draco murmured.

She nodded in agreement.

"With all the lights off, we'd be able to make out some stars. Dad would point out the constellations he knew until eventually I was too tired to notice that he'd carried me back inside."

Draco opened his eyes slightly.

He lent in closer and kissed her, and she got the impression that was the best way he knew to respond.

She smiled against his lips.

"Draco was one of the constellations he knew."

He pulled away, a grin on his face.

"So you saw my stars."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did."

He smiled and leaned his head to rest in the crook of her neck. She felt him grimace again, and she took her hands back to run through his hair.

"Go to sleep love." She murmured, and they did both of them, tangled in each others arms.


	29. Chapter 29

a/n: A shorter update this time, and warning of implied abuse. (not too bad as I don't believe in writing terribly graphic scenes)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

"Draco really put a lot of effort into this place." Pansy remarked turning her head to take in the shop. Hermione grinned as she began to leisurely pace through the shelves.

"It really is amazing." She said, tracing the spines of the books.

Pansy made a noise of agreement as she hurried to catch up with her.

"So what are we looking for again?"

"Books on healing spells. Draco said he had a whole section on them. He's already read them so he said he wouldn't mind if I…" Hermione trailed off, the end of her sentence ringing in her mind.

 _If she took them with her when she left._

Pansy gave her a sympathetic look before putting her arm lightly on her shoulder.

"Hermione."

She looked up, momentarily shocked at Pansy's use of her first name.

The other girl swallowed roughly.

"When you leave," Pansy took a breath, "You should take Draco with you."

She froze. Had she heard correctly? Sure she had thought the same thought hundreds of times and planned to make it a reality, it was something else to hear it voiced out loud by someone else.

"He's done enough here. He...He needs to get away from all this. It's not safe. It's not healthy. Frankly, the way I see it, he can help end it from the other side. You lot need all the help you can get." Pansy continued baring her eyes into Hermione's.

She found herself nodding with each word Pansy spoken. Part of her felt relieved that someone else had also come to her same conclusion. A larger part; though, was at a loss for how to make it happen.

"I'll help you get him out Granger." Pansy said with a slight smile, clearly interpreting the small frown that had twisted her lips.

She swallowed roughly.

"Pansy...what about you?"

The girl waved her off.

"Once Draco, you, and Theo, if he'll go, are out, I'll slip away. I'm not as watched. I won't be as hard for me."

Hermione stared at the other girl with more than a little bit of awe. Sure, she and Pansy had formed a tentative friendship over the few weeks she'd spent here, but she'd never truly felt a kinship to the girl until now. Pansy was private with her heavy thoughts, adopting a light demeanor filled with attitude and snark to mask her sharp mind. She couldn't take it lightly, the way the girl had opened up to her.

Respect.

She had respect for her.

She forced a smile on her lips.

"I'll hold you to it then."

Pansy smirked, before twisting around and setting off in pursuit of the healing magic section.

Hermione's smile stayed plastered on her face as she moved to follow. Stepping through the shelves, her eyes involuntarily landed on the genealogy section.

She wasn't sure why, but something compelled her to walk over. Her hands found the familiar title and she pulled the book from the shelf.

 _Unraveling the Lines_

It had fascinated her last time. The updates with each birth was intricate and powerful magic. She bit her lip and was about to open the book back to the Malfoy family tree when Pansy called out she'd found the Healing books.

In seconds, she'd shrunk the book and stuffed it into her bag.

"Coming." She called out before leaving the section and heading toward Pansy's voice.

* * *

It didn't take long to pull the books she wanted from the shelves and store them into her bag. Pansy had laughed at her thorough evaluation of each text and even humored her with suggestions of her own.

By the time they finished, she was sure she couldn't have compiled a more complete connection than if she'd ordered the books herself.

Together, the two walked toward the Floo, with Pansy remarking that Blaise had said he'd be coming into town soon.

She'd had the breath knocked out of her then.

Blaise's arrival signaled the beginning of the end of her time in London.

Strangely, despite her near imprisonment, she was going to miss it.

They'd barely settled into the room with Draco looking up from the game he and Theo were playing to ask her if she'd found what she needed, when the Floo chimed again.

Her eyes widened as Draco shot up and pushed her toward the bedrooms, casting a quick disillusionment charm on her as they walked.

The flames settled and she could see one figure slump forward, desperately carrying the weight of the other body leaning heavily against her.

"Daphne!" Theo shouted.

Her eyes widened as she recognized the other girl. Her gaze shifted to the second figure, and she bit back her shout of horror.

Daphne was holding up her sister, who seemed barely aware of her position or her surroundings. No. Astoria Greengrass looked like she was on the verge of collapse. Her skin was decorated with bruising and at the base of her hairline was an open cut that was bleeding down into her swollen left eye.

Theo had rushed forward and quickly extracted the girl from Daphne and laid her gently on the couch as Pansy moved to support Daphne.

"Oh gods. I didn't know where else to go." Daphne stammered, tears dancing at the edges of her eyes, "Draco always seemed so good at healing spells, and Tori…" At that Daphne's resolve seemed to break, and she openly began sobbing in Pansy's embrace.

Hermione watched, too stunned to move as Draco immediately seemed to switch gears, focusing entirely on helping Astoria.

"Theo." He called out, wand in hand as he crouched over Astoria.

When he didn't get a response, he called out again with more force.

Theo tore his gaze from Daphne and focused on Draco, who was rattling off potions he needed and supplies from the kitchen.

Theo blinked, but made no move to go retrieve them.

Her senses seemed to return to her then, and her regard for maintaining her presence a secret seemed to vanish. She broke the disillusionment charm and rushed into the kitchen to retrieve the potions.

Blood Replenishing. Numbing. Pain. Skele gro.

She roamed through Draco's supplies and pulled the potions he'd requested along with one's she thought may help as well.

Draco was murmuring simple bone mending spells on Astoria's ribs, and she could see he'd already healed the cut on the other's forehead as well.

He held out his hand to accept the supplies.

"I can't heal the hip with a spell. Skele gro will have to do…" he trailed off when he caught sight of her.

She shook her head, hoping he understood that now was not the time to worry about her presence. His jaw clenched, but he accepted the potion and tilted Astoria's head back as he poured it down her throat.

"Have you scanned for internal damage or bleeding?" She said, kneeling beside him.

"Yeah...thankfully none, but I think blood-replenishing just in case she lost too much." He said taking the indicated potion.

Hermione nodded scanning Astoria for any other visible injuries she could treat, and tried to stifle her whimpers as she took in the younger girl's torn clothes and cuts.

She shook her head and took a salve Draco had asked her to use for the outer wounds and began to apply it up and down Astoria's arms and legs.

Merlin. What on earth happened?

She stole a glance over her shoulder and made out Theo with Daphne in his arms and Pansy lowly offering reassurances and soothing words.

Her eyes than landed on Draco, who seemed completely in his element healing Astoria. Though, she didn't miss the anger burning in his own eyes as well as the tension that had settled in his jaw and ran through his shoulders.

He looked ready to kill.

In fact, she was baffled how he could still mend and perform the delicate healing spells with a practiced gentle hand while he was so obviously brimming with fury.

She'd never been that skilled at rerouting her emotions.

When he seemed satisfied with his work, he stood and turned sharply to Daphne.

"What happened?" he bit out.

Daphne wiped her tears from her face. "Tori was back from school, and…" She took a breath, "They came to visit us, for...for the fee we pay for our neutrality...and you know Tori, Draco. She's not a fighter. They said they wanted to make an offer and I wasn't there-"

Hermione stepped slightly closer to Draco, and put her hand gently on his back, hoping her touch would calm him from doing anything rash.

Draco sighed at the motion before asking, "Who?"

"MacNair and… Dolohov."

Theo looked over quickly to Draco, and shot the other a look she couldn't decipher.

Daphne pulled away from Theo and came to stand before Draco.

"Draco… you and Tori. You were happy once, if you would just-"

"Daphne do you hear yourself." Draco said softly, "Do you even think Astoria would accept that? Never mind that I would never do it."

Daphne blinked furiously, and Hermione could see she was in near tears again.

"Besides," Draco's face hardened, "You accused Theo of doing just the same thing, and look how well that turned out."

At that, Daphne turned away with her shame burning across her cheeks. Though not before finally focusing on Hermione, and blinking in slight shock.

"Granger?"

Draco stood protectively before her. "I'm going to move Tori into the guest room to rest." He spoke leaving no room for argument, as he took his wand out and carefully levitated said girl before him as he disappeared into the guest room.

Daphne continued to eye her, though with more of a curious expression rather than one of disdain or contempt.

Pansy had edged closer to the other girl and whispered something in her ear, which led Daphne to nod.

She cleared her throat after a moment and finally met Hermione's gaze. "Thank you for helping Draco with Tori...it means more than you know."

Hermione gave her a weak smile. "Of course."

After a moment, Daphne returned the gesture.

Hermione watched as Daphne turned slightly to Theo as though to speak. Whatever it was she wanted to say, Theo seemed determined to avoid it tonight. Emotions were running too high to speak in an even remotely logical manner. He excused himself quickly to the kitchen to put on some tea. When he returned a few minutes later with tea and a bottle of firewhiskey, spiking each cup with a shot, no one said a word.

In fact, the rest of the evening was spent in near silence, only broken briefly when Draco returned telling Daphne he'd transfigured a second bed beside Astoria for her.

When Daphne excused herself to join Astoria, Pansy stood and declared she had to be getting home. Theo; though, made no move to leave and asked Draco if it wouldn't be too much trouble if he transfigured the couch.

At that Hermione had ducked into Draco's bedroom feeling a little more than suffocated by the heavy tension between the two men. She had a feeling, were it not for the girls' presence, they both would have gone after MacNair and Dolohov that night.

She shivered, getting quickly beneath Draco's covers. When he joined her later, he pulled her closer and held her tighter than he would normally. She didn't protest though. She had a feeling she could guess what exactly he was imagining.

* * *

She woke early the next morning, right before the sun. She took in that Draco had edged even closer onto her side. She smiled slightly and pressed a light kiss to his temple before she slipped from the bed and headed out toward the kitchen.

As she neared the edge of the hall, she could make out two soft voices whispering back and forth.

"- You know that everything between us is real Daph, and maybe it's a little faster than what we'd like, but we were going to get there anyway."

"Theo."

Hermione's eyes widened as she wondered if she should simply turn back and climb back into bed. She bit her lip, unable to get her feet to move to carry out the action.

"I know. I know." She heard Theo say, "But I love you Daphne, and by Salazar I want to protect you and Tori. We don't have to do anything too fast. Please. You can wait a week and announce it, and then tell everyone that you and Tori are going to your cousins in France to begin preparations and shop around."

She held her breath, hoping against all odds that Daphne would say yes. She let her eyes drift toward the second bedroom's door, and tried to shake the broken vision of Astoria Greengrass from her mind.

"Theo." Daphne whispered, "I'm so scared."

Hermione closed her eyes and stepped slowly back toward Draco's room.

Though her actions didn't stop her from hearing Theo's response.

"I know Daph. I am too."

* * *

She rushed back into the room, only to find Draco wide awake. He swung his legs over the edge and slowly came to stand before her. After a moment's deliberation, he reached out and ran his thumbs across her cheeks.

That's when she realized she'd been crying.

"I want it over." She whispered.

His face flashed in pain as he gave a curt nod.

"Yeah. Me too."

* * *

Blaise arrived later that day.

If possible, he was even more enraged than Theo and Draco combined. Though, he seemed resigned to simply getting the two Greengrass sisters out of London as enough. He had suggested Pansy also leave with them, but her subsequent threat and reminder that she was quite skilled with her wand, had silenced him rather quickly.

Daphne waited two days before she announced Theo as her intended.

Hermione was at least happy to see that despite the circumstances, the two were obviously together for more than just convenience. She saw it in the way they looked at one another and sought out the simplest of opportunities to simply touch. Pureblood society was so different from what she knew, and despite Draco's avoidance of it with her, it did mark some of their interactions. It was that formal respect and attentiveness that seemed to decorate how they interacted with one another. To cherish the other as something special and worthy. It was one tradition she could respect of theirs, even if it was so obvious that Theo and Daphne had defaulted to it as their motions spoke goodbyes.

She helped Blaise plan their movements to safe houses, as he caught her up on the various changes within the Order, including the change in headquarters.

By the end of the week, she was sad, but relieved, to see them go. With their departure, even more bitter news fell upon them.

A date had been set for the attack on Godric's Hollow.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

Draco watched Hermione as she paced before him. He'd wished, not for the first time, that he hadn't told her about the exact time that the mission to Godric's Hollow would occur.

She was panicked, every few seconds reminding him to be careful, if he'd taken potions, and any other nagging thought that her fearful mind had conjured up as they waited for his signal to disapparate. He sighed before grabbing her by the hand and forcing her to straddle his knees. He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders.

"It's going to be fine. I've done this hundreds of times before, and I'm still here."

She chewed her lip, nodding once in understanding.

"It's just...you said it yourself, you have a bad feeling about this."

He winced involuntarily. It was true. He'd been dreading this mission from the moment Dolohov had suggested it.

But Hermione didn't need to know the full extent of it.

She was already worrying herself sick over things that hadn't happened yet. He must have promised to keep safe a million times before the mark on his armed burned for him to leave. She surprised him then, bursting out into tears and crying out over and over, "Don't go."

He drew her into his arms and kissed her temple. "Love. You know I have too." If anything it made Hermione sob harder.

"Please be careful. Please." She murmured into his shirt.

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He winced as his arm flared with pain again, and in seconds, he spun away with one destination in mind. Godric's Hollow.

He crouched down and watched as his corner of the home in question filled with other Death Eaters. He had to give it to Dolohov. Attacking the Potter home again had not occurred to many; not after the last time when they'd been taken by surprise.

He didn't like it. The air too tense. The night too quiet. He held his hand up to wait. Bellatrix's group was to start the attack on the house's structure. With any luck the house would have been emptied per his earlier warning to Andromeda.

He let out a breath.

Not for the first time, he felt that something wasn't right.

That was when the front left side of the house lit up with spells.

"Fuck." He muttered motioning this behind him to follow as the rounded the house. No use running into a fight until he knew what he was dealing with.

The left has been Dolohov's side to manage. Curious that it was the side that fell under attack. Just as he thought it, he heard his aunt shout not far from him to begin firing spells.

The Order was fighting back.

Fuck.

* * *

He'd wanted something simple in and out. Low casualties. Did they really think they could mount a defense to Death Eaters?

As he walked into the skirts of the battle , he called out orders. His men, scattered eager to join the fight, while he edged toward the house.

He had to make sure there wasn't anyone left in the house. If the Resistance had been stupid enough to plan a defense, then he had no doubts that they had also left themselves vulnerable.

He cast revealing spell as he went, floor by floor. He could feel the magic whirling around him and on the outside of the house, threatening to strike and tear down section of the foundation.

The third floor was when he felt three others around him. Cautiously, he walked closer to the room where his spell had went off. Pushing the door open, he was immediately met with one grown man dressed in Death Eater black towering over two children.

Even from behind, he knew who it was.

Dolohov.

Hearing him enter, he'd turned and was regarding Draco with a casual smirk plastered on his face.

"Well Malfoy, are you here for some fun?"

He glared at him in disgust.

A malicious grin replaced the smirk, as Dolohov stepped towards him the children momentarily forgotten.

"You're so easy to predict Malfoy. It was almost child's play getting you alone."

His heart raced in alarm. He maneuvered around Dolohov, letting his eyes rest on the two children, a young boy and girl, silently pleading with them to leave.

"If you're trying to threaten me Dolohov, I can't say I'm impressed."

Dolohov glared at him before tapping his wand thoughtfully against his free hand.

Draco took his moment of distraction to meet the children's gaze once more. He stretched his mind to them, slipping in gently with Legilimency. When their eyes widened in understanding, he let his focus turn back to Dolohov.

"How long have you been planning this. Get me alone and kill me with the destruction of the house to mark my grave?" he wondered aloud circling the other. He made out the two children slipping away out of the corner of his eye, and he nearly let out a sigh of relief.

It was one less thing to worry about.

Dolohov was silently raging at his display of ease at the situation. No doubt, he'd expected him to cower, to revert to the broken child who'd faltered at the first sign of danger. A lot had happened since he'd been that person. He didn't exist anymore.

"You arrogant bastard." Dolohov said lowly, "At death's door and you still have the nerve to act as though you are king of the world."

Draco sneered, stopping his circling to stand face to face with the other.

"Not a king, but our Lord certainly sees me as the prince."

Dolohov's face contorted with obvious rage.

"I don't trust you Malfoy. A traitor is a traitor to me. I don't know how you convinced the Dark Lord you were anything but."

Malfoy stepped back a bemused expression clear on his face. "Are you suggesting our Lord can be so easily manipulated?"

Dolohov growled, throwing his wand hand up into the air.

"I've had enough of your manipulations." He declared before, hurling a spell straight at Draco.

He easily dodged, throwing up a shield for good measure before sending a spell right back to Dolohov. The other dodged it, but only slightly, having Draco's spell graze his arm as he moved.

They stood face to face and wands raised before them, as though they were moments away from fighting a formal wizard's duel rather than a battle aimed to destroy.

He was about to cast again, when he made out a soft creak in the floorboards of the outer hall. He stole a glance at Dolohov, who seemed to have also shifted his gaze in response to the sound.

As though in sync, their wands turned to point at the door.

Fleetingly, he thought it funny that only seconds ago they were prepared to demolish one another, but in the face of a common threat their earlier training had taken over.

It was like that next. Every motion a muscle memory from when it had first been taught to him. He moved to distract the intruder and in seconds Dolohov had followed and bound a solitary figure before them.

* * *

He blinked unsure what he was seeing at first. Then his mind seemed to catch up with the rest of him as the adrenaline faded, and he took in the sight of long red hair.

"A Weasley." Dolohov said, unable to keep the glee out of his voice.

Fuck.

Ginny Weasley.

"We have to be sure. It could be polyjuice." Draco stalled, unable to meet the girl's frantic gaze. "That's happened to us repeatedly with Potter before."

Dolohov clenched his fists in frustration but didn't protest. Instead, he took a leering gaze and trailed his eyes downward Ginny's form.

"I can think of plenty of things we can do to occupy the time then."

Those words, so callously spoken, caused something dark to wash over him. For a minute, it wasn't just Ginny tied up before Dolohov, Astoria was right next to her. He couldn't seem to calm himself as the rage simply festered and tore at his insides.

"You vile sick fuck." He ground out.

Dolohov's head snapped toward him. "Careful Malfoy."

"Careful." he said, voice eerily low, "You're the one who's been threatening me for ages and not doing a single thing."

Dolohov reacted exactly as expected. He shot a curse at him.

The house rocked, both with the force of their duel and with the force of the battles going on outside the house.

He sidestepped another curse, leading Dolohov to follow him as he led the other away from the bound Ginny.

This needed to end soon.

He didn't realize how much his own musings were distracting him, until Dolohov managed to finally graze with a modified slicing hex to his thigh.

With that, he resumed dueling with more fervor more fury, nearly reminiscent of the times he'd trained with Bellatrix until they'd both conceded to stop.

He gained on Dolohov quickly, knocking him back into the wall at the end of the hall. When he stood again, there was an almost feral expression marring his face.

"Expelliarmus." Dolohov shouted with so much venom he shook as he cast.

For the first time since they'd begun fighting, Draco cast verbally.

"Bombarda Maxima."

He rushed to the side, fighting the pain that was creeping up his cut up leg. The force of his spell; though, sent him flying to the side and filled the floor with smoke from the tearing of the floor and wall.

He cried out at the impact that resulted in soft cracks in the bones in his chest. "Fuck." he swore, rising carefully. He kept his wand out, ready to defend himself.

He didn't need too.

He made out the pile of wood and the hole where Dolohov should have been standing. Edging closer, he peered down and quickly looked away. Dolohov had fallen through the floorboards, and based on the angle of the body, he'd fallen to his death.

He gasped against the sharpness in his chest, as he stumbled back toward Ginny.

With a flick of his wand, he'd released her and stumbled to lean against one of the few remaining walls.

Ginny scrambled to her feet with her wand immediately drawn.

"You need to get out of here Weasley." He managed between short pants of air.

She stared at him, confused and calculating.

"Why did you -"

"Go." he said firmly, "Before someone else joins us up here."

Ginny stepped closer, taking in his injuries. "Merlin, you're a mess."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll manage. Just go."

The house shook again, and their eyes both widened at the force of it. It wouldn't remain standing for much longer.

She studied him for a moment before she turned on her heel and disappeared. Sighing with relief, he turned the opposite direction and fled the building right before it was finally brought down.

* * *

It seemed both sides had suffered losses from the fight.

The Dark Lord would not be pleased.

He straightened as best he could before he walked firmly to where they'd aggregated and with a crack they'd all landed back at headquarters.

It was so much worse than he'd predicted. The bastard was seething, having somehow heard that prominent members of the Resistance had been at the battle, none of which had been captured. Then of course, there was the death of three members of the inner circle. Voldemort may have no issues with offing his own followers, but when they fell to another's wand, he took it as a personal insult, a betrayal.

They all fell one by one before him to allow his mind probes that were much more violent than normal.

When it was his turn, he strung his thoughts together as best he could. The pain in his leg was burning him on the inside, and the sharpness in his chest had not allowed him a single full breath.

 _Broken ribs._

He winced as he dropped as gracefully as he could manage onto his good knee, and resisted the urge to sob at the force in which Voldemort tore through his mind.

As his duel with Dolohov flashed through his mind, Voldemort abruptly withdrew.

"What is this?" he hissed.

Draco lifted his chin, meeting the Dark Lord's gaze without flinching.

"He planned to have me killed my Lord."

A collective murmur tore through the crowd.

"His petty needs distracted us both, and it was through his actions that he allowed an Order member, a Weasley no less, to escape our clutches." he continued, proud at how firm and steady his voice carried outward despite his lack of breath.

The room had gone silent as he spoke, and he could tell that even the Dark Lord was waiting for breath, focused completely on him.

He wished he could lay blame entirely on a dead man, but such a thing was too suspicious. No. He had to take some blame and accept punishment head on. The snake loved that. It made him think his followers were so devoted they'd sacrifice their health and sanity for him.

Arrogant prick.

"You entrusted this mission to me my Lord, and though the house fell, we lost several opportunities today."

A concession, but no incriminating declarations of failure.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed, and suddenly Draco felt very very cold.

"It is a pity Dolohov did not see past his own low ambitions." He hissed, toying his wand in his hand, "But you are right young Malfoy. The blame is not your's alone, but greater nonetheless on your shoulders."

And that's how it began.

For every punishment the bastard gave to another member, Draco received it two fold.

The first always hurt, no matter how much he'd braced himself in preparation for the pain. It tore him inside out, forcing tremors into his limbs that were horrifyingly familiar at this point. After the first five, he'd become numb.

Sure, he could feel his insides twisting and the cuts that were appearing across his skin, but it was like his mind had somehow shut off his ability to truly feel anything.

 _Shock. He'd probably gone into shock by now._

It all blurred together, the faces around him, the wand before him, but not the piercing gaze of the maniac. No, that he held on to until he blinked and suddenly found himself prone on the floor.

He was vaguely aware of someone rolling him onto his back, and tipping his head back as potion was gently tipped into his mouth. Nearly immediately, he felt the shakes and tremors ease, though his vision was still fuzzy at best and the sounds of those around him were contorted.

"You foolish stubborn boy." Someone muttered, tipping his head slightly back so that the potion would slide easier down his throat.

He struggled to frown at the voice, trying hard to place it. So familiar. So blasted familiar.

His body was lifted from the floor like he was nothing more than a rag doll and then transferred into another pair of arms.

"Take him home Nott. I've done all I'm allowed."

"Pity that." Theo replied with a little more venom than necessary.

The other voice growled. "Draco may tolerate you speaking to him that way, but I assure you I do not."

He wanted to react, plead, shout, anything, but he couldn't.

He'd figured out the voice.

He tried to speak, but it came out a croaking moan that immediately silenced the two.

The other sighed, "Take him home to rest."

He felt Theo start to move, slowly as though taking care to mind his own injuries. Still he felt it, the second the other presence was gone.

He struggled to call out, to mumble even the smallest of words. He had to know. He had to know why he'd helped when the last words they'd traded had been laced with pain and anger.

He felt his hold on his consciousness fading, and he fought in vain against it.

He had to know why his father had taken care of him despite it all.

* * *

Waiting was undeniably a source of torture. Hermione wrung her hands together and avoided Pansy's inquisitive gaze from across from her. It had been like this since he'd left. She'd spent an hour by herself simply pacing the flat until Pansy had shown up to wait alongside her.

Her thoughts had run away with her, filling her with what ifs and images that not only depicted chaos but hurt and pain for both Theo and Draco.

Pansy had led her silently out to the balcony, and they'd sat out with only the half moon for company since then.

Yes, waiting was torture. The more time passed the more worried she became.

Pansy was too. Though, she hid it better than Hermione. It was the tense position in which she sat, the faraway look that sometimes settled into her eyes, and most of all it was the way she clasped her hands together tightly placed in her lap in the manner in which she'd been taught.

The perfect Pureblood Princess even at the height of her anxiety.

They'd approached their fifth hour of waiting, leaving them more in the early morning than the late night, when Theo finally stumbled back into the apartment.

Pansy shot up at the sound of the Floo, putting Hermione's reflexes to shame.

"Oh Merlin." Pansy moaned at the limp form in Theo's arms.

Theo stumbled, careful not to drop Draco as he settled him down on the couch.

Hermione's feet seemed to move on their own as she dropped to the floor beside him.

He was so bruised, bloody in at least on place on every piece of his visible skin. His pants leg was torn on the right, revealing a rather nasty cut on his thigh. He was still shaking every few moments, not violently, but enough for her to guess what exactly had filled him with tremors.

She watched his chest rise and fall in quick shallow breaths, each wheezing and nearly a gasp.

Draco.

She bit her tongue hard before she stood swiftly and let herself move on instincts. She summoned potions and salves and bent over his form healing what she knew how.

The broken ribs were first, she was afraid his lung might be pierced considering the way he was breathing. She steadied her hand as best she could as she went to work finding the ribs she thought broken and healing them.

Out of the corner of her eye, she made out Pansy working on Theo, who, she finally noticed, was only slightly better off than Draco.

"Stay with me love." she murmured as she turned from his chest and began healing the cuts decorating his skin. She dabbed dittany gently over the deeper ones that spells just wouldn't close, before she reached the cut on his thigh.

She found an antibiotic cream that she generously spread over the area before using dittany to help seal the wound.

She'd healed all she'd known how the best she could. She dropped back to her knees and her hand automatically went to brush through the sweaty strands of hair clinging to his forehead.

She conjured a small towel and gently wiped the sweat from his brow.

When she was done, she begrudgingly tore herself away from his side to turn to Theo.

Pansy had healed him well, and if not for the nearly imperceptible tremors, she wouldn't have known he'd likely been tortured hours before.

Her stomach churned. She summoned a calming draught and handed it to Theo before nearly collapsing into a seat.

He drank it quickly, relaxing instantly. He let out a murmur of thanks before running a hand through his hair.

"What happened Theo?"

He looked up at her, eyes glassy in the low light. "The Order fought back."

He spoke, his voice dull and without feeling as he relayed the Order's surprise attack and how it had quickly turned into losses on both sides. More so on the Order's part then the Death Eater's.

He couldn't tell her much about what Draco had done, seeing how he separated from them to search the house.

"He fought with Dolohov. Bastard tried to kill him, so Draco fought back and with the house already unstable." He gave her a meaningful look.

She didn't even feel remorse at the implication. It was a hard reality, realizing she was oddly relieved the man was dead.

"He fell through the floor."

All three of them turned at the shaky voice.

Draco coughed and pulled himself up on his elbows.

She rushed over to him and helped him, moving pillows to help prop him up.

She sighed smoothing his hair, and he gave her the barest of smiles in response.

"Good riddance." Theo growled.

Draco said nothing and instead folded his arms and leant back into the cushioning.

"And the torture?" She whispered.

"Punishment." He intoned. He let out a breath, "I saw your friend. Ginny. She came into the house."

Her eyes widened, and she found her hands had come to wrap around her middle.

"She wasn't hurt. I told her to run, and I'm sure she got out before the house came down."

He said it so matter of fact, empty. She really didn't know why it bothered her. She shouldn't want to challenge him, to fight, when he was fresh from not just a battle but a session of Crucio's as well. But she did. This was her friend. This was Ginny, a girl that was nearly like a sister to her. She had to know she was ok, anything else was unacceptable.

"You're sure." She bit out.

Draco narrowed his eyes before letting out a painful shudder. When he looked up again at her, his face had gone carefully blank.

It bothered her. Infuriated her. She wasn't even sure what it was exactly. It was the culmination of her worries, her fears, her pain at seeing Draco so broken, her thoughts on Ginny's safety, and her anger at his ability to carefully compartmentalize every emotion he ever had. It was incredibly selfish and petty of her to want him to break down as she did. Even at his lowest, he was so much more controlled than she was.

"How can you do that, just sit there like nothing affects you, like you can't feel when I know you can." she said, her voice louder than she'd meant it to be.

He stared at her long and hard, and she saw the wars that always raged silently within those grey eyes of his.

"Because I have to be." He answered quietly after a moment.

"And when it builds up and finally breaks you in two, will you be strong then?"

He said nothing.

"What will you be then?" She demanded, near hysterical now.

"I don't know."

His words pushed her over the edge, sobs racking her body as her anger disappeared.

Somehow Draco had pushed himself upright and pulled her to him, breathing heavily against her as she sobbed in his arms.

"She's fine love. She had more than enough time to get away."

His gentle murmurs eased the sobs, but tears still fell from her eyes. "I don't want to lose anymore."

He shuddered against her. "I know love. I know."


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: 90 follows! Wow. I'd like to thank each and every one of you beautiful people for sticking with me this long. We're starting to wind down now, nearing the end. As always; reviews= love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote by Anne Sexton

* * *

His body had taken quite the beating. The first day, sitting up had been the extent of his physical capabilities until he'd managed a quick walk to the bathroom and back.

It wasn't just the aches. His insides squirmed, still twisted in a way that was not normal.

At least the visions had calmed.

Part of him was bitter thought. How long of reprieve would he have before the next round started? Next time, he wouldn't have Hermione to fall into bed with and forget about the pounding at his skull.

She was leaving soon. So soon.

Christmas was two days away, and then he'd have less than a week.

He shuddered at the thought of after.

Especially now.

He glanced down at the drips of red on the porcelain sink before wiping the remnants of another nosebleed away and washing the evidence that it had even happened down the drain.

He was so tired. Merlin, he was so tired.

He ran a hand through his hair, still slightly damp from the shower before he left the loo to dress.

Just one more duty to the bastard and he'd be free of him until the new year. It was a quick report in and modification of the patrol schedule. It should all be quick and relatively painless, but his body was protesting every step he took.

Hermione didn't want him to go. She wanted him to continue resting and even went so far as to suggest they not go to Andromeda's for Christmas as they'd planned.

He hated that. He hated how she worried about him and was willing to sacrifice one of the few things she was looking forward to since they'd visited Andromeda the first time.

At least it wasn't open begging, she'd been subtle about it.

Thank Merlin, since he wasn't sure he ever wanted to see her sob for him again in his lifetime.

She was in the kitchen seated at the table with a steaming cup of tea placed in front of her that she'd forgotten as her thoughts had distracted her.

He lingered at the doorway, unsure if he wanted to disturb her, but knowing he should.

"I'm going now." he said softly.

She blinked and turned to him.

"The wards should shift to tell you if anyone tries to come that isn't Theo, Pansy, or me." he continued.

He was about to say more when she'd darted out of her seat and pulled him into a tight hug. She tilted her head up and kissed him hard and hungry.

"You'll be quick?" she asked.

He nodded, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"As quick as I can be." he said.

She nodded once, and he physically tore himself out of her embrace to walk the short distance to the Floo.

"Quick as I can be." he told her again before he stepped into the green flames and was sucked away to the Manor.

* * *

The minute he stepped out of the Floo, he straightened and squared his shoulders. He couldn't appear weak so soon after he'd taken a knee in front of Voldemort. He was under no illusions that Dolohov was the only one who wanted him dead. He needed to maintain his position and safety, at least until Hermione and the rest were out of London.

He let out a breath, wincing at the pressure in his chest. Despite Hermione healing his ribs, they didn't feel quite right yet. The tissue around the area and his lungs seemed bruised and scarred. That was much harder to heal without proper potions, without them it would take him longer to heal unaided.

He went through the motions, quickly and as complete as he could. He wanted to be done, but he couldn't afford to be sloppy.

As if it all weren't enough, it didn't seem he'd ever be able to rid himself of these constant headaches.

He'd been in the Manor for nearly half an hour before he felt another pair of eyes on him. He forced himself to keep from visibly reacting, and instead focused on trying to locate who was watching him.

He felt his presence before he heard him.

Rodolphus.

"It's good to see you up and walking so soon Malfoy." Rodolphus said with an air of ease and manufactured concern.

"You know better than anyone else _Uncle_ " he stressed, "that nothing keeps me down for long."

Rodolphus pursed his lips, his first sign of annoyance at Draco's attitude.

"It is a pity about Dolohov. Such a tragedy to lose such a devoted and effective member of the cause."

Draco felt alarms go off in his mind at Rodolphus's casual mention of Dolohov.

"And yet he was so easily sidetracked." Draco bit out.

Rodolphus's eyes narrowed. "You gave him reason to doubt." he stepped closer to stand face to face with Draco.

He didn't fear Lestrange, far from it, but it would be a lie to say that the other wasn't dangerous or intimidating in his own right.

He was suddenly glad for the inches he towered over Rodolphus. At the very least, the other could not look down on him.

"And I will find out what made him weary of you n _ephew_." Rodolphus sneered.

Draco growled at the threat. His wand was in his hand and pressed at Rodolphus's neck before he could blink. He swallowed against the fury that practically forced tremors in his shoulders. His vision was blurring and sharpening with each pound of his head.

Gods he felt like shit.

Rodolphus straightened despite the obvious fear beginning to creep into his eyes.

"Remember your place _Draco._ " he hissed before pushing away from him and stalking out of the hall.

Draco shoved his wand back into his pocket before he staggered at the sharp pain that seemed to flare in both his chest and the back of his skull.

"Fuck." he muttered, trying to calm his breaths into something deeper and slower than the gasps he was currently drawing in.

He stumbled to lean against the wall, feeling his knees buckling under his weight. He squeezed his eyes shut. Just a little bit and it would pass. He chanted it to himself over and over, but it was hardly convincing. He could feel his firm grasp on consciousness beginning to slip.

"Mate. I've got to stop running into you like this."

He blinked, momentarily recognizing Theo before his vision blurred again.

"I wish I could stay, but I've got patrol this time."

He coughed. "Just get me to the Floo Theo."

Theo snorted, but obliged.

As they walked, Draco leaning heavily on Theo, he got the strangest sensation that he was being watched again. He shivered slightly, before discarding the thought as a product of his near exhaustion.

They managed to make it to the Floo with no other incident. By the time Theo had managed to drop him back off on the couch near his fireplace, he was practically asleep already.

* * *

Hermione was hesitant to step out and go to Draco. Theo had practically been carrying him when they'd stumbled into the room minutes before. Yet, something had kept her from going out to Draco. Part of it was a desire to simply have him rest, and another, more instinctive feeling, was telling her to wait.

She wrapped her hands around her middle.

She was worried about him. He was healing slow, and coming back to the flat in this state was not a good sign. Especially since this excursion had been relatively mild. She wondered if he'd be well enough to even go to Andromeda's the next day. Despite his insistence, she had half a mind to convince him that they should simply stay at the flat.

She watched him huddle into the couch, still fast asleep. He looked mildly uncomfortable. He was so tall, his legs were dangling off the edge. She wanted to go out and levitate him back into the room to rest on an actual mattress. She stepped closer and immediately stopped when she felt the wards shift again. She stifled a shout when she saw another pale blonde enter the room.

Lucius stopped at the couch, taking in his son. As though he was aware of the scrutiny, Draco moaned and turned to shield his face into the cushioning. Lucius frowned and summoned a blanket and placed it over him.

She watched in fascination. Was Lucius Malfoy showing affection?

He paused over Draco head, his hand out, as though to comb through his hair. At the last second, he moved it lower and touched Draco's shoulder. He mouthed something. Her breath hitched at her recognition.

 _So much of your mother._

He stood and abruptly left toward the fireplace and soon the wards alerted her to his exit.

When she was sure it was clear, she slipped from the room out to him. He'd been exhausted for days, so in a way she was glad he'd managed some rest today regardless of how it was got. She combed her fingers through his hair and frowned when she noticed him slightly feverish. He mumbled something she couldn't make out. She stopped and pulled her hand away.

"No," He muttered, "keep doing that"

"You actually need to stay asleep to rest Draco." She teased. He peaked from beneath his lashes. "I was." He said with an innocent expression on his face, "I'm just a light sleeper "

She rolled her eyes but continued to play with his fine hair.

He closed his eyes, Sighing in content.

"Was my father here?"

She hummed in agreement.

"Damn." He murmured, "I'd thought I dreamt that."

He opened his eyes with a thoughtful expression on his face. He moved his arm behind his head.

"What?" She asked. He shook his head, a thin smile on his face. "Nothing."

He seemed lost in things she couldn't reach. She ran her hand through his hair and tucked the strands loosely to the side before dropping her fingers to race down his jaw and stopping at his chin. The warmth of his skin forced a frown on her face. He knelt into her hands and his lips brushed her fingertips.

"Draco." She murmured.

"Mhmm."

"What happened?"

"Hermione." He dragged out the syllables of her name in annoyance, turning away from her inquisitive hands.

"Draco." She said firmly, "You've come back before without having your father coming to check on you."

He sighed in irritation, pushing himself up into a seated position. She caught him grimace at the motion.

"What's wrong?" She pushed.

He mumbled something, edging into a seated position. He rubbed his face with his hands.

"What?" She pushed.

"I'm not healed. Practically fell to the floor from exhaustion earlier."

She swung her feet until she was standing in front of him.

"You told me you felt fine."

"Granger."

"What happened Draco?"

"Hermione please."

"I will find out Draco Malfoy if not from you then Theo, so tell me now and save us the middle man or so help me I will make sure your deemed unfit for a whole month of missions."

"Merlin Granger." He threw up his hands in defeat, grimacing as he did.

She grabbed his arms, and her hands made their way down to his, fingers automatically threading together.

"Tell me so I can help"

He lent his head against hers, sighing heavily. She frowned noticing the slight wheeze at the effort.

"Those broken ribs I had left their mark." he mumbled, unthreading one of her hands to rub at his chest, "And these bloody migraines." he winced, closing his eyes.

She sighed, pushing his hand away to run hers over his chest in soothing circles. She felt him begin to relax against her touch, and eventually his breath seemed to even out.

"Draco." she began, "Maybe we shouldn't-"

"No." he interrupted, "I'm fine, and you know I've been through worse." He opened his eyes to meet hers.

"I'll rest for the rest of the day, no protests. I'll even let you feed me whatever potions you want without complaint."

She sighed, taking in his pleading expression. She could feel her resolve crumbling the longer she grew lost in his grey orbs.

Before long, she felt herself nod.

"Fine, but all day."

He grinned, before getting up in one swift motion.

"On one condition." he said pulling her with him toward his bedroom. "You spend the day with me."

She laughed and was about to protest when they fell into the bed.

He drew her up into his arms rather quickly and pressed a kiss to her temple. She smiled, humming in contentment.

"Alright."

* * *

 _I am younger each year at the first snow. When I see it, suddenly, in the air, all little and white and moving; then I am in love again and very young and I believe everything._

She stood leaning against the railing of the balcony watching as the dusting of flurries continued to gently cover the earth around her. There was something in the quietness in which the snow falls that calms. She'd always thought so, watching the snow progress from tiny flakes to clumps that still managed to paint the world a lovely shade of white.

It was cold, stinging her eyes and creeping under her thin jumper to brush at her bones. Yet, she felt no desire to go back in.

She took a sip from the hot chocolate in her hands and idly thought about the sleepy blonde she'd left back in bed.

She wanted him to sleep as much as possible, so she'd left him when she'd stirred awake. He'd been so exhausted he'd slept without even a hint of dreams.

 _Good_.

She sighed in content at the sensation of firm arms wrapping around her from behind.

"Happy Christmas love." Draco murmured into her ear.

She turned her head, and he surprised her by capturing her lips, murmuring between breaths that she tasted like chocolate.

When they finally broke away, she turned to face him still within his arms.

"Happy Christmas." She returned.

He grinned shivering slightly as he ran his hands over her arms in some feeble attempt to warm her. She grinned slightly before conceding that it was perhaps time to return to the warmth of indoors.

She pulled him into the living room to sit at the foot of their small tree.

She glanced at the three gifts under the branches. They'd opted to keep only their gifts for one another there. Everyone else would be at Andromeda's later and would exchange gifts there. Though this, she eyed the package she'd wrapped in silver and gold paper, was the one she was most apprehensive at gifting.

It had come to her on a whim, and she'd been so confident with her choice until she sat moments away from presenting it to him.

"Let me go first." Draco said softly, as though anticipating her worries.

She nodded, nearly too grateful at his action.

She caught his smirk at her apparent relief that was momentarily replaced with his own nervousness. He shook his head before meeting her eyes and silently handing her the first package he'd wrapped.

She took it hesitantly, impressed at the neat wrapping and even more so by the bright scarlet paper he'd chosen to use. She carefully peeled the tape and her mind began to guess at what she was holding. The feel and shape of it suggested a book, yet it was much thinner than any tome she'd ever read.

She pulled the rest of the paper away to reveal a black leather bound book of sorts with no title or author's name in sight.

Puzzled, she looked up at him and he motioned for her to open to the first page.

Biting her lip, she obliged and gasped in shock at the sight.

The first page had expanded into the second, revealing a life like drawing of the Hogwarts castle. He'd painted in the colors and even enchanted it to cycle through the various seasons. Now, snow was carefully decorating the tall towers of the school and in seconds, she saw the gardens come to life, blooming with all the flowers and wild plants that flourished in the spring.

"Draco." She let out a breath, "It's magnificent."

He snorted, but she could see him ducking to avoid showing her the light pink that was now coloring his cheeks.

"It's only the first page." He said, "Go on. Flip through more."

So she did.

Each took her breath away.

First it was the Library, the Potion's classroom, on and on.

They were each true to the bloody detail of her memories, and in some Draco had enchanted the pages to show students bustling about. Always, in each photo, she noticed a decidedly blonde wizard and curly haired witch featured in the background, fleetingly or otherwise.

She couldn't help the quirk of her lips at that.

Though, by the time she reached the drawing of the Head's dorm, she'd caught the pattern.

These were their shared memories.

Her breath caught at the sight of the Great Hall as it had appeared before the ceiling exploding had entirely ruined the evening, and she wondered how on earth Draco had managed to capture it's essence so perfectly.

The last one though, was the only one that had forced the breath out of her lungs.

Ironically, it was the Infirmary. Yet, with the moon peeking through the window and caressing the inside of the wing with beams of soft light, she could easily place the scene without any aid at all.

She let her eyes drift to the one occupied bed and at the blonde figure propped up with the aid of pillows. She bit her lip as she saw the brunette appear in the scene, seemingly out of thin air and sit at the edge of the bed. Slowly, the figures would get closer and closer and ended with their lips pressed soft and experimentally on one another's.

She let out a breath, unsure if she was even capable of commenting at this point.

"You gave me something truly amazing that year." She heard Draco whisper from beside her. "You game me good memories."

Her breath caught.

"And you gave them right back to me." she whispered.

He smiled slightly kissing her temple and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Priceless.

There was no other word for it. He'd given her something priceless.

"Now this." Draco said, pulling away from her to present the second parcel to her, "May not be as sentimental as that, but…" He bit his lip, "It means just as much to me for what it represents."

She nodded, clutching the notebook of drawings close to her chest. She wasn't sure how he could possibly follow up his first gift next.

This package was decidedly smaller and again wrapped in crimson paper.

By the time she reached the long velvet box's outer covering, her heart was racing.

His hand came to rest on top of hers.

"I want to tell you something before you open it." he said, his voice low. When she nodded her understanding, he continued.

"I'm not sure how much you know about the older traditions when it comes to courtship and all of that." he gestured in the air, "But, giving certain gifts are done with specific intentions attached to them."

"Tokens." She found herself saying.

He nodded, and she saw the faint amusement at her interjection on his face before it was carefully masked by nervousness and then calm.

He threaded their free hands together.

"Right now, during this war, it's hard to picture anything but one battle to the next, but…" his breath hitched, "one day this is all going to be over, and I want...I want your future and my future to be the same."

She clasped their hands tighter together.

"So," he continued, "I wanted you to know that before you opened it. It may not be now or tomorrow, but Hermione."

She shivered at the sound of her name.

"I want it someday." He bit his lip, "If you'll have me and all my disaster of course."

Without a word, she opened the box and stared in wonder at the simple white gold chain before her eyes were drawn to the oval sapphire pendant hanging from it. She took her hand and traced the chain, admiring the fine craftsmanship.

Despite its simple appearance, it was obvious that it was beyond the realm of expensive.

She'd scoffed when she'd read about these traditions on a whim once. Now though, she understood the true gravity of giving things like jewelry with true meaning behind it.

It meant so much more.

With a start, she realized that Draco had managed to give her something intangible in tangible form. Their past and a possible future.

"Yes." she breathed, "Yes, I accept."

No sooner had the words left her lips, were his on her.

She moaned into his embrace as they grew more desperate and heated with one another.

"Thank." Kiss. "Merlin." Kiss. "I have no idea what I would have done if you'd said no." he managed between kissing her.

She laughed against his mouth, and felt satisfied when she felt him do the same.

She pulled away then, suddenly self conscious of her own gift for him.

She cleared her throat, and handed him his gift quickly before she lost her nerve.

"It's not some representation of the future, or a masterpiece that I made." she nibbled her lip unable to meet his inquisitive gaze, "But it was the first thing that made me really see you. And." She looked up and met his eyes with her own. "And I wanted you to know that I heard you all those times you spoke to me in riddles."

Looking at her curiously, Draco began to unwrap his gift.

She watched carefully as his breath caught as the paper fell away to reveal the title of the book.

"A first edition translation." he whispered, running his hands reverently along the spine and cover, mouthing the title. _The Complete Homeric Works._

She smiled at his speechlessness and proceeded to help him open the book and turn the pages. "I magically marked some of it, completely harmless and not permanent of course." she whispered, "But it's…" She cleared her throat. "It's the one's you said to me and the ones I said to you."

He blinked in shock, dropping his eyes to the pages.

"Hermione." he choked, "I...no one's ever given me...I." He cleared his throat and lifted his face to refocus on her. "Thank you." he said sincerely.

She took their entwined hands and placed a kiss to the back of his before pecking him softly on the lips.

"You're welcome."

* * *

She'd put the necklace on nearly immediately after. Even now she couldn't stop looking at it and touching the beautiful stone hanging off the chain. She let out a breath and caught Draco's eyes from across the room in Andromeda's home. He gave her a smug look, no doubt guessing the train of her thoughts. She smiled to herself momentarily before she turned her attention to watch Teddy as he flitted between the presents Draco had placed before him.

The pile had steadily grown with Theo's contributions, Pansy's, and even her own.

The normalcy of Teddy's excitement was enough to lighten the mood and allow them all to truly feel some holiday cheer.

Though, the goodwill truce to have a happy holiday apparently did not exclude familiar teasing.

The minute she'd entered the home, Andromeda had eyed the necklace around her neck and shot her a knowing smile. Then there had been Adrian, who had also flashed her a smirk before turning to Draco and shaking his head at the smirk that had seemed to permanently settle on the blonde's face.

At that point, she had known rather than felt that her cheeks were flushed an unattractive Gryffindor red.

Damned Slytherin Purebloods.

Of course that was nothing to Theo's reaction. Full out laughter.

"Oh mate, I can't believe you did it."

Even Pansy had let out a string of giggles at Theo's behavior.

She put her hand to the pendant. "I don't understand what's so funny."

Pansy shook her head. "It's not you Granger. It's the fact that Draco gave out a token after explicitly declaring he never would in 4th year."

She turned to Draco, brow raised in question.

"It was a long time ago, and probably the beginning of my so called rebellion phase." He eyed each of his former Slytherin housemates as though threatening them from saying more on the subject.

It did him no good.

Adrian came up beside her, smirk in place, and tossed an arm to wrap around her shoulders.

"You see Granger, back in the day Malfoy decided to start a mini revolution in Slytherin."

She heard Draco groan from behind her.

"And like any revolutionary." Theo chimed in as he came to stand on her other side. "He wrote a treatise."

"You all helped as I recall." Draco interjected, folding his arms.

"Firewhiskey." Pansy said waving her hand in the air as though to gesture that firewhiskey was the appropriate explanation for any of their actions.

"I think there was more than just fire-"

"The New Elite Charter." Theo interjected.

She snorted, only to immediately cover her mouth at Draco's glare.

"To the bastards who brought us, the mothers who raised us, and our ancestors that we can trace all the way back to Merlin himself." Adrian continued, seemingly picking up where Theo had left off.

She bit her lip stealing a glance at Draco. He seemed to be fighting back laughter as his friends continued.

"We would like to present a list of complaints and our solutions to certain disputable truths." Draco said, seemingly continuing the script. "First and foremost, your potency and attractiveness is not determined by a family tree and the size of your Gringott's account."

At that they all burst into fits of laughter.

"And...And." Pansy gasped, "And the likelihood of an heir is increased if the wife isn't treated like a prized breeding horse."

Hermione gasped. "What.. how do you all remember this?"

Theo smirked, calming himself to the point in which he could speak. "Well, we all wrote it and signed it."

"Everyone in Slytherin's at least read it." Adrian continued, smiling as he shook his head, "It's essentially our Prince's legacy."

Draco snorted.

Hermione chortled. "I'd like to read it."

Draco shook his head, "I'm pretty sure we don't -"

"Blaise has a copy." Pansy said.

Draco paled. "But I…" he trailed off before scowling, "Bastard. He told me all the copies were destroyed."

The three other housemates looked at one another and collectively spoke, "Slytherin."

She laughed and threaded an arm through Draco's as he pouted and glared at the other's who had broken out into a new fit of laughter.

He shook her arm and draped his across her shoulders, holding her tight. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips before turning back to shake his head at the three who were now red and gasping for breath. He smiled slightly at the sight, and she knew he was nowhere as put out as he'd seemed to be before.

It was nice to hear teasing and laughter after all.

"It really is a beautiful piece." Hannah complimented her again.

Hermione smiled slightly, touching the chain. "I can't really take credit for picking it out."

"Hmm Draco's always shown good taste when he wants too." Pansy said coming up to drape her arm across Hermione's shoulders.

"Is it elf or goblin made, do you think?" Hannah said coming closer to inspect the necklace.

"Knowing Draco, goblin." Pansy replied easily. Hermione smiled at the two girls, who became lost in a conversation about jewelry and gemstone meanings. It was ironic that it had taken a war for inter house unity to finally flourished. A Hufflepuff, a Slytherin, and a Gryffindor; truly it was remarkable.

She shook her head, a smile still pasted on her lips as she spotted Theo sitting alone in the corner of the room.

Determined, she walked over and sat beside him. He gave her a brief smile, but she noticed his eyes lingered at her necklace in a manner that could only be described as longingly.

She wondered if he'd been thinking of Daphne.

They'd heard that they'd made it to a safehouse, but any more communication was a risk. One, that none of them were willing to take.

She and Theo seemed content to simply sit in comfortable silence, but it wasn't long before she let her eyes roam around the room to find a familiar blonde head.

He'd been caught under mistletoe with Pansy.

She tried to ignore the slight pang of hurt at the sight.

She watched as Pansy looked at Draco shyly and the expression of pain was obvious. Draco shot Hermione a look that nearly looked like an apology before looking back at Pansy and giving her a thin smile. She watched, unabashed, as they leaned in and at last second their lips pressed to the corner of each others mouths.

A loophole kiss.

So in sync.

"Everyone always wonders about them." Theo said, finally speaking, "But I never did. It's hard to want to marry someone who has been like your sister for as long as you can remember."

"But she loved him."

She hadn't realized she'd said it until she felt Theo's eyes bore into her.

"Yeah." He said, sounding very tired, "But from what I hear, if he let's you, it's not very hard to love Draco."

He turned to look at her, studying her for something.

"You really are lucky you know." He said after a while, "Everyone always wondered what it would take to match Draco Malfoy." Theo smirked slightly at his own joke before he shook his head and continued, "He's a good bloke; the best kind of friend you could ever have. He'll never leave you stranded."

"I know Theo. I know." She whispered.

Theo smiled and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Be good to each other Hermione." He said before he stood and disappeared into the kitchen.

She sat back, leaning comfortably into the cushioning. She fiddled with the ends of her hair contemplating all that Theo had said.

It was nothing new. Nothing she didn't already know.

She wasn't sure how long she simply sat with only her own thoughts for company before the couch dipped with the weight of another.

She blinked and looked up and met the eyes of Dean Thomas.

"Happy Christmas Dean." She said with a smile.

He nodded and murmured the same greeting in return. She watched his eyes focus on her necklace.

"You're pretty close with all the snakes now."

Without meaning too, she found herself grimacing at the harshness of Dean's tone.

"There's more to them than just being snakes Dean." She said after a moment.

"Yeah Death Eater."

She whirled her head to meet Dean's hard gaze.

"Do you really know what you're getting into Hermione. They say they're on our side, but what if that's only the case for as long as it's convenient for them."

"Nothing about this war is convenient Dean, for anyone." She said bluntly.

Dean looked away, but she saw his jaw tighten.

"Is it all the snakes, or just him?" Hermione said lowly.

When Dean didn't answer, she felt her temper flare. He didn't deserve Dean's misplaced distrust. Not after everything.

"He brought you here didn't he. He saved your life Dean."

"And should I be singing his praises? I haven't forgotten who he is Hermione." He said meeting her head on.

She physically recoiled at his vehemence.

"I haven't forgotten at all Dean, but people should be allowed to overcome their pasts, to grow and change. I'm not going to stay blind to it, because of the acts done while we were all children."

Dean shook his head disbelief still etched on his face.

"Don't you trust my judgement?" she finally asked.

"Do you?"

She nearly fell out of her seat at that.

"I mean Hermione, are you even considering that you have to leave and get back to the others in a few days, and he will not be coming with you? I never took you for someone who harbored delusions, but honestly." Dean said coldly.

She stood shakily from the couch backing away from Dean.

"What are you saying?"

"That you may have lost more than just time while you were missing for 7 bloody months."

She flinched as though he'd slapped her.

He was insinuating that she'd lost her mind. Her mind. Her one tool that she'd always had no matter what, and he thought it was broken…

She felt her heart start to race. She needed to get out and breathe. She stumbled away from Dean. She'd just step out for a minute. Just a minute for some fresh air.

* * *

Draco sighed tiredly, wincing slightly at the pressure on his temples. He'd just dropped Teddy into his bed at Andromeda's bequest and was about to head back downstairs. He paused at the top of the steps all at once feeling cold and lightheaded, while also heavy on his feet. Leaning onto the wall, he brought his hand hesitantly up to his lip feeling the slight wetness dripping down.

Fuck.

He stumbled to the near bathroom and grabbed a few tissues and placed them to his nose, leaning forward.

When he felt it ease, he let the tissues aflame before vanishing the ashes. He knelt down at the sink and began to slowly wash away the evidence of the blood from his face.

"How long have those been happening?"

He whirled his head and froze at the sight of Pansy in the doorway. He could have nearly hit himself. In his daze, he hadn't even managed to close the door to the loo.

She raised her eyebrows as he met her gaze, still waiting for her answer.

"Only a few times." He said lifting his hand to grab the nearby towel to dry off.

He could see her putting it together, and the flash of realization in her eyes at her conclusion.

She let out a breath.

"You need to get out of here Draco."

He let his eyes drift to the tiled floor. He didn't know how to respond, to reply, to deflect, anything. He was so tired, and in this state, no lies he told would even sound remotely plausible.

"You've done enough here." Pansy continued.

He could hear her light footsteps make their way closer to him.

"It's starting to…" She trailed off giving him a knowing look.

"Don't say it Pans. Don't."

He hoped he didn't look as openly wretched as he felt. She glanced up at him and for a fraction of a second something flashed in her eyes. It wasn't quick enough for him not to catch. He turned away abruptly.

He didn't want the pity or sympathy or whatever the sodding hell had been strong enough to penetrate Pansy's Ice Queen exterior. It was like she'd already signed his death sentence. She must know that. He'd never agree to go see a Healer, and frankly he didn't want a confirmation on anything.

"I don't want to even hear it."

She shocked him when she nearly launched herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"You are your harshest critic." She murmured, tightening her hold. She let out a breath. "Draco, you've got all of us…and you're crazy smart and add in Granger, well, we'll figure it out."

Like hell he wanted Hermione finding out about this. Though at this moment, while he was practically coming apart in Pansy's arms, he didn't have the energy to voice his own protests. He burrowed his face in her hair, taking short deep breaths.

"Good." Pansy said then pulling away. "You're going to be fine, so don't you cry or anything."

He snorted.

Sometimes he really was thankful for Pansy and her vastly inappropriate responses to emotion.

Pansy chuckled lowly, before untangling herself from him.

They stepped back into the hall, and as they neared the steps, picking out the sounds of an argument.

"Draco!"

He turned to Pansy before running quickly down the steps toward Theo's voice.

He found Theo near the entrance of the flat with his aunt not far from him, glaring at Thomas. Hearing him approach, Theo abruptly turned to him with a solemn expression that was made all the more frightening by the anger flashing in his eyes.

"Hermione's gone."


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: Reviews are a great motivator to write more and faster! All reviews = love. So, Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

It took him a single breath to comprehend exactly what Theo had said.

Gone.

Missing.

He had a fraction of a second to allow the fear of what that meant wash over him before he spun toward Thomas.

"What happened?" he growled.

Thomas flinched with a look of pure guilt stretching across each and every one of his features.

"I...we were talking and then she excused herself. I didn't think she'd actually leave."

Draco took a breath, willing away his anger in order to manage the situation at hand.

"You and I," he growled, "will be having words after we find Hermione."

He pinched the bridge of his nose against the tension that was already starting to build beneath the surface.

"She's not in the house?"

He looked to Theo who shook his head in answer.

"Right." He muttered, summoning his coat and drawing his wand. "We split up and search outside."

* * *

She hadn't meant to wander far, but she'd underestimated the weather. Where it had been snowing soft and slowly in the morning, it was now reminiscent of a storm.

A lumos had done nothing to aid her sight, and using her wand with a Point Me had left her seemingly walking in circles.

She'd left herself in a vulnerable position, and mentally, she was chiding herself at her stupid actions under emotional duress.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She huddled against a building, and began to mentally go through each tracking spell she knew. She hoped, she'd remember at least one that may help in this particular situation.

At the very least, the structure was protecting her against the biting wind and cold.

She took a break from running through spells and waved her wand over her jumper, transfiguring it into a warm winter coat.

She pulled it tighter against her and added a warming charm for good measure.

"Alright." She muttered before she waved her wand in the motions of a simple tracking spell.

 _To my friends. Take me to my friends._

Her wand lit with an arrow pointing ahead of the tip, and with one last look around her, she took off in that direction.

* * *

She really should have been more specific when she'd done the spell. She slowed, rounding a corner. She stopped after a moment hearing the familiar sound of footsteps on gravel sounding louder and louder.

"Lumos." She murmured at the same time the other figure called out her name in question.

"Theo." She sighed in relief as his brown hair came into view.

He hurried toward her, dropping his hands to rest on either of her arms.

"Oh Merlin Hermione." He said, running his hands up and down her arms to warm her.

She shook her head at the questions in his eyes. "I didn't mean to wander this -"

Theo suddenly stiffened and clamped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened as Theo shot his eyes back in forth around them in a panic.

He'd heard something, or someone.

"Maybe, they'll leave." Theo muttered to himself, as she strained her ears to catch even a hint of the noise that had spooked him into silence.

After a moment, she wished she hadn't.

There was a pair of footsteps quickly approaching them, and soon their voices were calling out as they noticed the two of them still huddled in the streets.

"Oi! You two know there's curfew." The larger one said.

Fuck.

Theo straightened as recognition flashed in his eyes.

"I bloody well know that Avery." He spat out.

The two edged even closer, their wands out and lit with light.

"Nott? What are you doing out in this blasted weather?"

She saw Theo slide his mask into place, as he pushed her slightly out of view of the other two.

"Spell went off, found this one wandering about."

Her heart was racing. She had no idea how Theo managed to look so completely at ease while blatantly lying.

"You turning her in?"

"We have to follow protocol." Theo said after a moment, "But I don't think she's a cause for concern."

She flinched as the light of two combined lumos spells settled on her.

"She don't look like much." The same voice spoke. Avery, Theo had called him. "Pretty though."

She found herself shaking with revulsion at his words, as she cast her eyes downward. With horror, she realized she hadn't reapplied her glamour.

"Like I said." Theo pulled her slightly behind him, "Nothing to worry about."

"Wait."

She chilled at this second voice. She'd heard it a few times before in passing, but now she almost wished she hadn't recognized it.

Rebastian Lestrange.

He pushed Theo away, and put a single finger under her chin to lift up her face.

She met his dark gaze, adopting a meek and decidedly frightened mask. Let him think her a simple girl. Maybe he'd be fooled.

"She looks familiar." He said tiling her face to the side. "Almost like that missing Mudblood."

Fuck.

Theo feigned ignorance. "Maybe. Looks a little different."

Avery pushed Rabastian away to look at her. "Kind of hard to tell. We best bring her in, just in case." He moved to grab her arm, when Theo pulled her to his side.

"Hold on. I found her, I take her in." Theo sneered at the two.

Rabastian growled. "You young Death Eaters, no respect for the originals."

Theo said nothing, though he cast her an apologetic look.

"We're coming with you." Avery said.

"I'm going to Nott Manor. See if the wards let you in." He growled before Theo pulled her closer, taking his wand out as though to press it to his forearm.

At the last minute Rabastian grabbed onto both of them, and in seconds the world had spun and righted as they landed in a stone room. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dim light.

She shivered at the sight of the long bars. A dungeon.

"Bastard." Theo muttered, before he pulled her forward.

"I'm making sure we follow protocol." Rabastian spat.

After a moment, Avery popped in and grabbed her by the arm and threw her into one of the cells, leaving her no time to brace herself. She slammed into the stone wall, the air being forced out of her.

"What the fuck." Theo exclaimed, pushing Avery away from the doorway of the cell.

She blinked as her vision began to blur. Their voices seemed to blend together, though she did make out one of them disarming her. Briefly, she wondered if she'd gotten a concussion.

"I'll seal her in. This is my ancestral home." Theo growled, slamming the door to the cell shut.

Oh gods, what had she gotten herself into.

She heard them argue, deciding that Theo would stay as the others left to locate a wanted poster for 'Potter's Mudblood.'

"Shit. Shit. Shit." She heard Theo mutter as soon as the two left.

"Granger." He called, pressing close to the bars.

She crawled closer. "Theo." She answered, wincing at the weak tremble of her voice.

He let out a breath. "I'm going to get you out Granger, but I have to…"

"Wait for an opportunity." She finished.

He let out another breath as they both stiffened hearing footsteps echoing off the stone floor.

He leaped to the opposite side of the room and lent against the wall. She watched him pull a ring from his pocket and slip it on, discreetly muttering to himself.

Protean Charm.

Draco.

She felt a brief surge of hope, only for it to be squashed at her next thought. Even with Draco, the odds of getting out of the dungeons of Nott Manor without exposing Draco and Theo were slim at best. If she did get out, they'd all need to leave tonight, and they were nowhere near prepared for that.

Rebastian stepped back into the room accompanied by a tall man. When they drew closer, her breath caught as she came face to face with a man who could only be Theo's father.

He was lithe, and she could see so much of Theo in him. Yet, where Theo still possessed a youthful softness in his face, this man, he seemed hardened; sharp in a way that went beyond his physical features. She shivered.

She could be frightened of this man.

He drifted his gaze passed her and settled on his son.

"What have you brought Theodore?"

Theo's jaw tightened. "A wanderer from the streets. We're trying to identify her."

The older Nott showed a hint of doubt on his face at Theo's lie, but did not challenge him. "Lestrange believes her to be the Granger girl."

Theo looked at his father and raised a brow, as though he were bored and not particularly surprised at the idea.

He shrugged.

"She could be. I can't be sure. We didn't have many classes together at Hogwarts for me to recognize her."

Nott Sr. said nothing and instead came closer to her cell.

The closer he came, the narrower his eyes got. He faltered in step right at the bars, something that was hardly perceptible and easily missed had she not been watching him.

His eyes widened briefly before narrowing, and she got the distinct impression he was seeing a living ghost.

Rebastian had come closer and grasped her through the bars, pulling and slamming her into the metal. She tasted the blood pooling in her mouth, dripping out the edges of her lip.

"Who are you?" Rebastian shook her.

She shook her head, not speaking.

"Draco."

Rebastian and Theo's father turned to him.

Theo ground his teeth.

"Draco was in many of her classes. He would know her."

Rebastian dropped his hand, and she fell to the floor.

Theo was buying them time.

She kept her eyes trained to the ground and let out a soft puff of air in relief when the two older men seemed to agree to Theo's suggestion.

"I will stay with her." Theo's father spoke, turning to Rebastian, "Find Avery. We'll want those posters to be sure before we do anything else."

She watched Theo, who seemed to think the request odd; though, he didn't contest it. It was his father or Rebastian. The choice was obvious.

At that the two left, and she huddled to the side of the cell furthest from the lingering Death Eater in wait.

* * *

When he felt his ring burn, Draco wasted no time getting to the nearest active Floo. He had one destination in mind.

Nott Manor.

He had to give it to Theo. Nott Manor was a better alternative than Malfoy Manor. The wards would have been trickier, defenses higher, and above all, there were more people.

He stumbled out from the flames, only to immediately ram into another body.

"Move Theo." He muttered after regaining his footing.

Theo shook his head and kept a firm grip around his arm.

"We have to think this through Draco. You can't just barge in there with no plan."

He growled against the resistance even if he knew the other was right.

He took a breath, and Theo seeing he'd calmed hesitantly let go of him.

"Who's with her?" he asked quietly.

 _How is she?_

"My father."

Draco resisted the immediate anger filled remark that threatened to come out of him at that.

"It was him or Rebastian, and I don't trust that bastard at all." Theo continued.

He let out a shaky breath and reluctantly nodded, conceding that Theo did have a point there.

"It's only him and her?"

Theo nodded in answer.

That wouldn't be so bad, but they'd have to move quickly to take advantage of the opportunity.

"Those tunnels under Nott Manor," he began, "Are they still open?"

Theo nodded again. "But I don't know all of them Drake. I was never much of an explorer."

He shook his head. "But you do remember the one we used to take out to the gardens where we played Quidditch?"

Theo froze before a thin smile spread across his face in understanding.

"How good at Disillusionment Charms are you now Theo?"

* * *

Hermione watched the man pace before her cell. He seemed agitated, muttering softly and stealing glances at her every few steps. She let her eyes drift lower to her lone wand clattered barely a foot from the door to her cell.

Avery was an idiot for not pocketing it when he disarmed her, and yet perhaps he knew exactly what he'd been doing. He'd left it in her sight, taunting her, but she'd never be able to squeeze her arm through the bars to grasp it.

 _She could summon it._

Though the question was if she could in fact do any magic at all within the cell.

She stole a glance at Theodore Sr., who was still muttering to himself.

She held a hand out slightly behind her back before she silently cast a lumos with her right hand. She peeked over her shoulder.

Nothing.

She resisted the urge to slam her hands into the ground in frustration.

It wasn't unexpected, but it still broke that slight bit of hope.

 _But what if it's only within the cells that magic can't be done._

She was just contemplating the fact when Nott came to a stop in front of her cell.

He grasped the bars, and even from her angle she could see his knuckles turning white at the force of it.

"Who are you?" he said lowly.

Hermione edged further down to the side away from his reach.

He lent his head against the bars.

"Who sent you?" he finally asked.

She frowned unsure where that question had came from.

"Why?" Nott whispered, "Why haunt me now? She's dead. She's been dead for 20 years. It's enough."

Uneasily, Hermione shifted slightly forward to make out the man's face. He seemed so pained...and distracted.

Taking a chance, she slipped her hand through the bars and again attempted a small Incendio.

She bit her lip from crying out in happiness at the small flame dancing in her hand.

Quickly, she extinguished the fire.

She had to distract the man so she could summon her wand.

"Who's dead?" Hermione said, finally speaking. She winced at the effort, and her voice was so low and hoarse it was a wonder she'd formed words at all.

Nott looked up startled at her.

"20 years." he repeated, "No one even knew."

He seemed conflicted, muttering to himself and stealing glances at her.

Her mind was racing moving between her confusion at his ramblings and her growing anxiety to summon her wand and get out.

She had to do something drastic.

She stood, wobbling as she came to stand directly in front of him. Before she could lose her nerve, she'd reached through the bars and clasped him by the shoulders.

"Who was she?"

"My wife." he murmured, "My first wife."

Shocked, she barely had any time to react before he'd slammed her to the bars in an effort for her to be closer.

She cried out as blood seeped through her teeth and fell from where her flesh had been torn at the hairline.

She staggered against his hold, so dazed that she didn't notice the light that seemed to be flooding the dungeons.

Nott seemed to be the same, because he'd practically slumped against her hold.

Scrambling, she tore her hands away and began attempting to summon her wand. It took her two tries before the familiar wood was within her grasp.

Her vision was clouding, and darkening at the edges.

She didn't have much time.

As soon as she thought it, she felt a surge of warmth overcome her body. Perhaps, the adrenaline hadn't run out yet.

She stunned the man, before she blindly ran through a multitude of unlocking spells. She couldn't say which spell had been the one to unlock the door, but it must have been her tenth try at the very least.

Stumbling, she stepped from the cell barely seeing in front of her.

She took another step as her knees buckled and that same sense of warmth came over her. She was so tired. So tired.

"Hermione"

She heard someone shout before her world went black.

* * *

"They won't report it. No one identified her, but they'll be weary."

She stifled a groan as she reached slightly around her feeling soft sheets beneath her fingers.

"She shouldn't have been able to open the cell door. How did it open?"

She tried to open her eyes, but her body was still resisting her need to wake up.

"I don't know."

"They were blood wards Draco."

This time, she moved her arm to reach to her face. She smiled slightly at the success as her eyes finally flickered open.

"Hermione?"

She blinked and met grey eyes staring down at her with nothing but concern.

"Hi." She whispered.

He let out a shaky breath.

"Hi." he murmured back sitting at the edge of the bed and cupping her face with one hand.

"How do you feel?" He asked, running his thumb across her cheekbone.

She pulled herself upright slowly, gladly accepting Draco's help until she was in a seated position.

"Heavy." She said with a thin smile before rubbing at the soreness in her temples.

"Fuck Hermione." He whispered leaning his forehead against hers and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "You scared the absolute shit out of me."

She brought her arms up and settled her hands at his back, rubbing them soothingly.

"I know. I was so stupid to wander off." She murmured against his chest.

He pulled away only to capture her mouth in a kiss that left her more than a little light headed. In fact, she was sure it wouldn't have ended if Theo hadn't cleared his throat.

They broke away with her cheeks flaming and Draco sporting a satisfied grin.

She let out a breath before looking between Theo and Draco.

"What happened?"

They both said nothing, and she didn't miss the way their eyes drifted to meet one another's.

"What do you remember?" Draco finally asked gently.

She sighed and recounted that she'd had a brief argument with Dean that had led her to wanting to go out and get some air. She hadn't meant to wander off, but the storm had left her lost. Then Theo had found her, and so the story went.

She paused then as the events in the dungeons seemed to catch up with her.

"It's strange, but he seemed to recognize me." She murmured, "Your father." She turned to Theo.

"But not really me me." She frowned, muttering to herself, "More like I reminded him of someone."

"Did he open the door for you?" Theo asked then, interrupting her musings.

She furrowed her brows, before she shook her head.

"No...No I summoned my wand and started blasting every unlocking spell I could think of. It was a lot harder with…" She trailed off pressing a hand to her hairline. Her eyes widened when she felt no scar.

"Hermione."

She looked over to Theo, who looked more than a little shocked. He seemed to be fighting to maintain his composure. "Those cells are warded with blood magic. Did he at least make a blood offer for you to escape or…" Theo drifted off.

She shook her head. Her arms wrapping around herself. She fingered with her sleeves, slipping her hands beneath the shirt to grasp her wrists.

"No. No. The only one bleeding was m-" Her words cut off as she tore the sleeve up from her one hand.

She gasped at the sight, running her hand across the flesh of her forearm.

"It's gone." She whispered.

And it was. That vile lettering that had been carved into her seemed to only be in her memories as she stared down at the unblemished skin.

Her Mudblood scar was gone.

"Oh Merlin." Theo stumbled over to her bed.

She swallowed hard.

Her mind was spinning.

Blood wards.

Blood magic.

Protective magic that lay dormant in the old houses and offered healing and defense to one of their own.

That warmth.

"The book." She scrambled off the bed and darted to her bag. She fumbled through it, ignoring Draco's protests until she grasped the spine of the book.

"Hermione." Draco said, coming to kneel beside her, "You need to rest. Let me get…"

She didn't hear the rest. She was too busy flipping quickly through the pages. Passed the Weasley tree. Malfoy. Black. Goyle. Nott.

She froze at the page before her.

Draco's breath hitched beside her as he tore the book from her hands.

"His first wife." She whispered, "He said I looked like his first wife."

Draco traced the lines and names stretching across the page, and she saw his hand still at the name that came second from last on the tree.

Hermione Nott.

Theo stumbled to sit beside them on the floor, hesitantly accepting the book from Draco.

He kept murmuring to himself.

"I didn't know he was married before. I didn't know. Hermione, I didn't know."

"A brother." She whispered, effectively silencing Theo. "I have a brother." She murmured before her world once again went black.


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: We're now at 100 followers. Just wow. Thank you for everyone who left a review. At catey1990: Thank you for your wonderfully detailed review. I'm incredibly overjoyed that you decided to follow me over to Descent from Family Ties. This story is my first hp fanfic and I'm truly happy with the responses I've gotten for it.

As always all reviews = love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Draco let out a breath staring down at one of the many documents he and Theo had raided from the Ministry. They'd been locked away tight, though nothing a few galleons and flash of his arm hadn't solved.

It was troubling to say the least; how sparse the information was.

Theo, he turned to glance at his friend, had barely slept. He'd gone back to Nott Manor and grabbed as many of his personal effects that he could carry. Then, he'd raided his father's study. Journals, documents, anything that had seemed important he'd stuffed into his bag before flooing back.

If anything, he was handling it much better than he would have had the situation been reversed. Though it hadn't been seamless. After Hermione had passed out again, they'd both panicked, checking her vitals and gathering potions. Though, it seemed all was fine with her physically. She was exhausted, and the stress had forced her to sleep.

Frankly, he wanted nothing more than to join her in those first few hours. He was aching, miserable with every move he made.

But he couldn't leave Theo. Not when the other had wordlessly cracked a bottle open of firewhiskey and sat on the floor of his living room with two bags with extendable charms on them that held everything he valued.

He hadn't seen Theo like that in a long time. Not since 5th year when he'd caught him lingering a little too close to a balcony while on Easter break.

He shifted his pile of papers off his lap.

Hermione was still fitfully asleep, murmuring words that made no sense and tugging the sheets every which way.

She would have a lot to deal with when she finally woke.

He just hoped she knew it changed nothing between them.

"I thought she looked familiar." Theo let out a breath, closing his father's journal and running a hand through his messed tresses.

He raised a brow in question.

"The way she laughed and smiled...the way her eyes changed." Theo said quietly.

Draco nodded.

"I didn't know." Theo said, climbing to his feet and pacing, "I didn't know my father married my mum's cousin and that she fucking died in childbirth."

Draco stood slowly to his feet, uneasy at the way Theo's voice was climbing.

"He left her Draco. He left her, and maybe my grandfather had something to do with that, but it was no excuse. I mean." Theo tugged at his hair, "Just because her grandfather was a muggle? and they didn't know so they took it as a personal insult and betrayal. She was a baby."

Draco cast his eyes downward.

"I know Theo. I know."

Theo slumped into a chair. He rubbed tiredly at his face, letting his hand drop to cover his mouth. He nodded after a moment.

"It was probably for the best." Draco said softly, "She grew up loved Theo, and maybe it wasn't with magical relatives, but I think it was worth it. I wouldn't wish how we grew up on anyone else in the world, least of all her."

Theo nodded again, his breathing irregular and quick. He was struggling to hold it together when he so desperately needed to let it out.

He wished Hermione would wake soon. She was infinitely better at this than he was.

As though the gods had heard him, a small voice sounded from the edge of the room.

"Hi."

He caught her gaze, and she flashed a tired smile in his direction. Her hair was still messed, though she'd tried to make it somewhat presentable, pulling it into a bun. It brought a thin grin to his face to see strands of it falling out onto her long neck and into her eyes to frame her face.

She stepped further into the room focusing her eyes on Theo, who was speechlessly staring at her.

"Theo." She said, her voice nearly a whisper. She gave him the warmest smile she could manage. He knew it was hard for her, but she was still trying as best she could.

"I was already starting to think of you like a brother." She continued, her eyes dropping to the floor. "I guess this just makes it official."

He bit his lip waiting.

Theo stood and seemed to shoot across the room to Hermione and pulling her into a tight hug. She was shocked, but it lasted for all of a second before she dropped her hands to circle Theo. She pulled him closer so that his face was nestled in the crook of her shoulder, and he could see her murmuring reassurances into Theo's ear.

He bit his lip and turned toward the kitchen. He didn't want to intrude on them, and frankly, tea would probably make this all more bearable.

Even if it was mixed with shots of whiskey.

* * *

Theo was shaking in her arms. She'd seen the blemishes beneath his eyes and the shining moisture that had refused to fall from them before he'd run and taken her into his arms. He seemed to be falling into ruin in her grasp, and frankly, she wasn't too far away from joining him.

The moment she'd woken, finally lucid after hours in sleep and tumultuous dreams, it had crashed on her.

That she'd lived a lie.

Yet it made some sense now, in retrospect.

How her parents had been told over and over that they couldn't have children.

How she'd felt resistance when she'd cast the Obliviate on them. They must have had one on them before.

And yet through this all, as she was reluctantly and frightfully walking toward the lit living room, she'd heard Draco speak.

 _It was probably for the best. She grew up loved Theo, and maybe it wasn't with magical relatives, but I think it was worth it._

And she had. She'd grown up incredibly loved. Even if there had been barriers between her and her parents, that had always been the one thing she could count on. That they cherished her.

It had made it easier then, to walk in head held high and comfort Theo. It made it easier to banish the thoughts of being unwanted and undesirable simply because her mother had had muggle blood.

Yet, could she be surprised?

That kind of thinking had led them to this hadn't it?

Theo pulled away, wiping at his face before he looked down at her.

"Merlin." He whispered.

She cracked a smile. "It's a little weird huh?"

Theo laughed weakly, leaning his forehead on hers.

"I'm so so sorry Hermione."

She shook her head. "It wasn't your fault Theo." She bit her lip. "Draco's right. I...I grew up loved and happy, even if it was lonely and without magic."

Theo nodded, though he didn't look completely convinced.

"Did you…" She cleared her throat, "Did you find out about her?"

Theo smiled slightly and pulled her to join him on the floor amongst the papers as he told her the story of her birth mother.

Helena Castilian

A witch from Spain that had been betrothed to Theodore Nott Sr. when they were 14. They didn't meet till their late 20's, and accounts then became muddled. They were married that she could discern, but somehow at that point, the Notts had discovered her lineage was less than perfect as had been previously claimed.

The Castilian family was a wealthy one, an old one, within Spain. However, they were not governed by the same ideals as the greater families in wizarding Britain. Blood supremacy didn't seem to exist to the point of dangerous prejudice. They had nothing to hide, and yet, they had for one simple reason. The Notts were also an old family with wealth.

Again, it became unclear what the fallout had been, but secrecy became the theme. Though, it seemed that the newlywed Nott had become slightly fond of his wife, despite it all.

Then she'd been born, somewhere private and isolated without any of the normal supplies a birth required.

Her mother had died. Bled out from ruptures that were not noticed until too late.

She was given up to distant squib relatives that had long since forgotten anything to do with the wizarding world, and there she'd remained until her Hogwarts letter at age 11.

Ironically, what had been most shocking to her was that Jane Granger had been a squib relation of the Notts, but in the grand scheme of what she was learning it was a minuscule revelation. And yet, again it fit. Her mother's grandmother had been adopted, something she'd pieced together at the tender age of 12 when she'd been desperate to find some sort of reason...some connection to magic.

Someway to prove she wasn't the dirt that she'd been called.

Funny how she had turned out to not be after all this time.

After she'd learned to accept it.

The story continued with a new marriage contract between the two families after her birth mother's death. This time between her birth mother's cousin and her father which had then led to Theo.

At that, she'd had enough.

She stacked the sheets neatly together and placed them to the side.

Theo let out a breath, relaxing against the sofa. He seemed less agitated, and truly, she felt the same. They'd cleared the air.

"I have to leave." She said softly crossing her legs. "Sooner rather than later. The way I escaped...it surely put them all on edge."

She felt guilty then thinking of everyone under Andromeda's care. They would have to leave too. Perhaps smaller groups would make them less conspicuous. The way it stood now, anything out of the ordinary would raise alarms.

Theo said nothing, but dipped his chin in a slight nod.

"Come with us Theo." She said leaning over and putting a hand on his bent knee.

"Us?" His brow rose.

She bit her lip, looking in the direction of the kitchen. She let out a breath and lent in closer.

"He's not well here. I can tell no matter how much he puts into keeping it hidden. He has to come with me." She chewed her lip, her voice dropped, "And I can't leave him. Not again."

His lips thinned into a line before he reluctantly nodded.

She got the impression he would have said more on the matter if footsteps didn't sound to signal Draco's return.

"All good?" He asked holding out a mug for her. She gave him a warm smile, accepting the steaming cup gratefully.

"Yes." She said taking him in fully for the first time since she'd woken.

Like Theo, he looked exhausted to the point that his whole skin had taken a gray tone. His hair was tousled, no doubt from the numerous times his hand had combed through the tresses to relieve some of his anxiety.

She'd missed him.

It was such a silly thing. She hadn't even been away. Unconscious for hours and yet it had felt endless.

Without thinking, she knelt up on her knees and pulled him to bend down lower and meet her. She felt him shudder and shiver against her, and she knew that everything she'd been feeling he'd felt tenfold. He was the one who'd been awake waiting, unsure of when she would come out of it.

She let out a breath against his mouth that was twisting up into a familiar smirk.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm already friends with your brother love. Otherwise, any other person would have decked me for that."

She could hear Theo grumbling behind them and she let out low laugh before dropping once more to the ground. She patted the area beside her and in a second Draco had joined her on the floor.

She took a sip from her cup, relishing the way the heat dropped to her stomach and spread easily to the rest of her.

She let out a breath.

"So what happens now?"

Draco looked grim.

"We have to get everyone out."

* * *

Draco leaned against the door frame pulling his cloak tighter around him. He noted absently that it had begun snowing again.

He hadn't wanted to leave.

Correction.

He hadn't wanted to leave Hermione.

It didn't matter that Theo was with her and would likely die before he allowed anything to happen to her. No. All he could think about was the what if's.

He closed his eyes, relishing the way the cool air licked and cut at his face.

When she'd been missing, he'd felt completely hopeless.

When he'd heard she was at Nott Manor, he'd felt helpless.

It frightened him. Something he wasn't comfortable ever admitting to.

Hermione was his greatest weakness.

And his greatest strength.

And more than likely the last thread that was holding him together.

He opened his eyes at the sound of the door opening. He slipped wordlessly inside. Pansy looked at him expectedly, and he could see from the way she was threading and unthreading her fingers that she was scared.

"She's awake."

Pansy let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank Salazar."

He cracked a smile that cold Pansy had warmed to Hermione Granger.

 _or rather Nott._

He shoved that thought away peering over Pansy's shoulder to check on where the other occupants of the house were.

"Your Aunt's getting Teddy ready. Abbott is fusing over the other's making sure they have their things packed and understand that they're to leave tomorrow to join them." Pansy said answering his silent inquiry.

He nodded numbly, registering the sharp pang in his chest at the thought of the last bit of the family he had leaving.

He moved to walk passed Pansy and head toward Teddy's room when she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Have you had any more nosebleeds?" she whispered pulling him close.

He winced, and he saw Pansy tighten her jaw in response.

"Draco." She admonished.

He cast his eyes downward to avoid her inquisitive ones. Damn Pansy for knowing him so well.

"Draco, you have to promise…" she let out a breath, "I want your word that you will leave with Hermione."

"Pansy."

She tightened her grip.

"No Draco. It's enough. It's more than enough." She took her other hand to pull him by the neck to meet her gaze.

"All of this is not worth you…" She trailed off.

He let out a breath. In truth he'd thought about it, or rather had thought about saying goodbye to Hermione.

Before, he would have been content and sought comfort in the fact that she would be safe. Safer away than with him.

Yet, after what had happened, he wasn't sure.

He had to think, speculate, plan, and he couldn't do so in this one moment that Pansy was begging for an answer.

"I know Pans." He said giving her a tight smile which seemed to momentarily appease her. "Now you have to promise me to take care of my aunt and cousin. Keep them safe."

Pansy smiled weakly.

"You know I will." She let go of his arm.

He turned ready to continue up the steps to Teddy's room, when Pansy spoke again.

"Just remember Draco. I'll be waiting on the other side."

He paused on the first step, turning his head to meet her eyes, growing lost in the force of her vehement demand. He felt himself nod before he continued up the staircase.

* * *

As he turned into the hallway, he heard a pair of footsteps behind him and immediately turned toward the sound.

Thomas froze, his hand automatically going to his side.

He felt the fury at the other flare. He stepped forward, and he saw Thomas flinch at his actions. To his credit, Thomas didn't fidget or attempt to leave.

Good.

"You absolute prick." Draco hissed stopping a foot from Thomas. Without thinking it, his wand had popped into his hand. He resisted the urge to jab it into Thomas's neck. He didn't think he'd resist hexing him if he lifted his wand, so he kept it out in view but not held out in clear threat.

"If anything had happened to her." Draco began letting out a breath to cover up his voice near cracking, "believe me that capture by Death Eaters would have been the least of your concerns."

Thomas shocked him then by nodding.

"If anything had happened to her, I'd have accepted it."

For a moment, he felt a flash of respect toward the other. He could admit to his wrong.

"You don't have to like me." Draco continued, "You can spew as much shit about me as you want, but don't you ever ever try to do the same to her. I won't be responsible for my actions if you do."

Thomas nodded as something flashed quickly in his wide eyes.

"You actually…"

"Yes." Draco growled before he could finish speaking. He felt his temper flare again, and forced a deep breath down to his lungs.

"You're a half decent fighter Thomas. Don't endanger any more people with your stupidity." He said turning on his heel toward his cousin's room at the end of the hall.

"Malfoy."

He paused but didn't turn.

"You'll tell her that I didn't mean…."

He heard Thomas clear his throat.

"Tell her I was wrong. That I'm sorry."

He said nothing but dipped his head in a slight nod and then continued down the hall.

* * *

He'd barely stepped into the room before he felt a small pair of arms wrap around his legs. He bent over with a thin smile at his lips before he picked up the tiny body.

"Hey Ted."

Teddy shook his head, his bottom lip trembling before he threw his arms around Draco's neck and buried his face in his hollow of his shoulder.

He sent a questioning look to his Aunt, who shook her head with a sad smile faint on her face.

'He's scared.' Andromeda mouthed.

He let out a breath and walked over to sit at the edge of the bed in the room.

"What's the matter Ted?" He said softly. Teddy tightened his grip muttering something that was muffled between his arms.

"I can't understand you Teddy." he continued with the same gentle tone.

He felt his cousin shift in his arms and turn his head so that he was looking up at him while remaining closely pressed to his chest.

"I don't want to go." Teddy said. Draco could make out the slight tremble in the small boy's voice, and his own arms tightened in response.

"Why not?" He said clearing his throat, "It'll be like an adventure. Besides, you don't want to leave your Grandmum to have all the fun do you?"

Teddy shook his head, tears clinging to the edges of his bright eyes. The poor guy was so distressed he hadn't bothered to morph his features. His rich natural brown hair was messed and those big blue eyes of his seemed more gray with all the moisture pooling in them.

"Don't leave Draco. Don't leave." He murmured turning his head to bury his face in his shirt. His throat tightened at the bits of moisture that were soaking through the thin material.

"Oh come on Ted. You'll see you soon."

Teddy looked up at him abruptly. "I will?" There was a measure of distrust in his claim that was easy to see in Teddy's gaze.

He wondered for about the thousandth time how his 2 year old cousin could be so smart already.

Teddy bit his lip.

"Promise?"

He felt his heart slow and his breath get caught in his closing throat.

Hadn't Pansy just asked him the same? Yet, he couldn't bring himself to dodge it this time as he had easily with Pansy.

He studied Teddy for a moment, incredibly aware that his aunt was also staring at him in wait of his answer.

What did he really have if he stayed?

The chance for more intel.

The hope that he'd eventually piece together an endgame plan that could end all of this once and for all.

 _Lucius._

He nearly grimaced at that.

The man was still his father, and a part of him could never fully abandon that filial responsibility and connection.

Didn't he owe his mother that much? To ensure that the man she'd loved to the point of insanity was safe?

Even if a greater part of him was content to simply let Lucius fight amongst the wolves and lie in the mess he'd gotten himself into.

 _You are worth more._

His breath hitched at the memory.

He was too confused to make a decision now.

He bit the inside of his cheek, feeling Teddy grow restless waiting for his answer.

"One day you will." he compromised.

Teddy said nothing, nodding after a moment.

He turned to his aunt who had come to stand closer to them.

There was a measure of disappointment in her eyes, but it seemed to be overshadowed by acceptance.

"You will take care won't you Draco."

He gave her a smile in response.

Her brow rose. "Draco Lucius Malfoy." She said in a threatening manner.

"I will." he said quietly.

She nodded closing the distance and reaching a hand to comb through his hair.

"Good."

* * *

Hermione went through more of Draco's drawers discretely picking out things and storing them into her new bag.

A gray jumper she'd loved on him.

His sketch book.

His mother's journal.

The stash of galleons he hid amongst his slacks.

She bit her lip.

"We'll make him leave. Even if I have to stun him and drag the body." Theo said softly joining her in the room.

"Would he…" her breath caught, "Would he forgive that?"

Theo sighed, putting a hand to her shoulder to squeeze in reassurance.

"He'd be angry, but he'd know it was for the best."

She was about to respond when she felt the wards shift.

Her eyes widened as she looked quickly to Theo. His jaw clenched as he motioned for her to stay put moving out from Draco's room to the hall.

She bit her lip before squaring her shoulders and summoning her wand.

She sat out from enough battles. She may not have trained to the point of drawing blood, but she was not useless. It was time for her to stop acting it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

She heard Theo exclaim. She edged closer.

"I could ask you the same question Nott."

Her blood chilled.

Rodolphus.

* * *

Draco tore into his flat.

He'd felt the wards shift as he was nearing his building and had yet to stop running since.

Not again. Not again. Not again.

He threw open his door and heard two voices arguing, his heart sinking as he recognized both.

"I don't remember issuing an open invitation into my home _Uncle_." he spat.

Rodolphus looked at him balefully. He noted how the other's wand was already drawn as though he was simply waiting for one move out of turn to began hurling spells.

He felt a moment of relief that Hermione was nowhere in sight.

"There's no need to be rude Draco." Rodolphus said with a smile that churned his stomach.

They stood staring each other down. Briefly, he let his gaze settle on Theo who was edging ever slightly toward the hall.

No.

He nearly shouted in frustration.

Why couldn't the stubborn Gryffindor stay hidden and protect herself?

He nearly snorted in amusement as he thought it.

He wondered why he bothered thinking she'd act with even a ounce of self preservation. She'd been sorted into her house for a reason.

"Why are you here?" he ground out, stepping closer to Rodolphus, his wand nearly at his hand.

"I had a most interesting conversation with Rabastian," Rodolphus said as they began to circle one another, "of how a prisoner was brought and escaped while you were conveniently nowhere to be found."

Draco raised a brow adopting a look of boredom, which served only to enrage Rodolphus further.

"I told you I'd find out what made Dolohov weary of you." Rodolphus hissed. Then he moved faster than Draco had ever seen him toward the hall of his flat.

He threw a spell at him and felt his heart stop as Hermione darted out from her place a spell already flung toward Rodolphus.

"You're a traitor Malfoy. You and Nott." Rodolphus shouted.

He moved on instinct then, throwing up a shield around Hermione before blasting Rodolphus to the opposite wall of the room.

It all went to hell after that. Suddenly spells were flying across the room and clouding the air.

It wasn't until Hermione fell from a well aimed stunner that he felt something feral tear out and seize his limbs.

Like a fiend, he physically threw Rodolphus across the room. He jumped over the shattered pieces of his stray furniture, his leg coming up and then down hard on Rodolphus's side.

He howled in pain.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Draco hissed.

Rodolphus's eyes flashed with enough anger he was surprised he didn't burn from the fury of the fire in them.

"You arrogant spoiled and weak willed fucker." Rodolphus said in between mouthfuls of blood. "You were always weak and a disappointment. Tell me, what finally turned you? Was it her?" he spat in Hermione's direction, where Theo was attempting to revive her.

"What would your whore of a mother think? Consorting with mudbloods. She'd destroy you herself. She…"

He slammed his foot down harder.

"Don't you dare ever ever speak of her you fucking bastard." Draco shouted. Blinded by his anger, he forgot of Rodolphus's free arm.

Of his wand.

"Crucio."

His step faltered as the curse tore into him. Rodolphus's anger was charging the Unforgivable, and it was something fierce. His vision blurred as he weakly sent a spell that again threw Rodolphus near the balcony door.

The connection was momentarily broken, and he heard Theo send another spell at Lestrange before he was sent flying into the wall, falling cold to the ground.

Then he felt another Cruciatus take hold of him.

"No. No." Hermione screamed out from where she was trapped now beneath the weight of a broken couch.

He let out a breath and managed to reinforce the shield he'd cast on her. It was draining him fast, the crucios, the fighting, maintaining her shield.

He felt blood seep down from his nose and wet his lips.

Fuck.

He closed his eyes forcing himself up to his feet and taking a tentative step toward Rodolphus.

He was taking the bastard out, even if he went with him.

Rodolphus seemed momentarily shocked at his movement. So much so that the spell broke.

"Now who's weak Rodolphus? You can't even manage a decent Unforgivable." He spat.

Rodolphus's face contorted.

"Go to hell Malfoy. Ava-"

It happened so quickly, and yet as he watched in shock at the beginning of the green light from Lestrange's wand the world seemed to slow.

He fell hard onto his knees, not really registering the pain of the action as a spell set fire to half his flat and exploded outward taking with it half the wall and the balcony which had housed Lestrange.

His head was light as his vision continued to blur.

Yet through it he heard a voice that he'd know anywhere.

"He always did talk too much."

He choked overcome by a coughing fit that forced blood passed his lips.

Lucius's arms came around him, rubbing at his back before he forced a potion into his mouth once the coughing had subsided.

He felt part of the pain ebb and his vision immediately sharpen. He made out Nott Sr. tending to Theo before he hesitantly went to Hermione. With a flick of his wand the couch vanished. He watched her, and Hermione looked up at him with a fierce stare.

Nott dropped to his knees.

"Oh Merlin." He heard him mutter.

He tore his eyes away as he made out the distorted sound of his father's voice.

"What are you doing here?" he said hoarsely, stumbling up to his feet.

Lucius looked at him, and for a moment he swore he saw true relief in them before it was covered up with the familiar cool mask his father wore.

"I was following Rodolphus."

He inclined his head toward Nott.

"He was following Rabastian."

His brow rose in question.

"Outside in a sewer." His father answered.

He barked out a laugh, unsure why the vision appealed so much to him. He stopped abruptly as he hissed at the pain in his chest, faltering on his feet.

He didn't realize he was falling until Lucius gripped him once more pulling him up to steady him.

"You have to leave Draco. It's no longer safe for…"

He stopped listening, his eyes drawn to Hermione who now had Theo standing beside her as she spoke quietly and at a fair distance from her father.

Abruptly, as though feeling his gaze, she stopped. Taking him in, her eyes widened before she darted over to him and immediately took him from his father's arms.

"Draco. Fuck. Draco." she said, struggling to hold him with one arm as her other hand went to run through his hair and softly over his face.

He couldn't contain the murmur of laughter at her swearing.

"You all need to leave quickly. The Lestranges will have been noted as missing by now." Lucius said looking intently at Hermione. "And you were all not exactly subtle."

Hermione snorted.

"We didn't set fire to half the flat." Draco managed to say between forcing breaths into his lungs.

A ghost of smile pulled at Lucius's mouth before it disappeared.

"We will cover for you, but you must quickly…"

"How?" Theo interrupted.

Nott Sr. looked pained as his gaze drifted between Theo and Hermione.

Draco wondered what he felt looking at the daughter he'd abandoned and the son he'd all but neglected.

He let out a shuddering breath, and he felt Hermione tense around him.

"Through the tunnels."


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quote from Dante's Divine Comedy.

* * *

Hermione strained every once and awhile to look back at Draco. He'd led the way when they'd first descended into this maze of a tunnel, more than likely fueled by distress and awkwardness from his goodbye with Lucius.

She's wanted to give them both privacy no matter how much she worried that Draco was in danger of toppling over at any given moment. She'd clung close to Theo, staring down her birth father and his inquisitive dark eyes.

 _The green had come from her mother,_ she'd idly thought as he examined her before letting out a breath.

Afterwards it had been quiet inquiries to her well being, if her family had cared for her.

He hadn't apologized though, and Hermione found that even if he had, she couldn't have accepted it.

Not when it was too fresh in her mind.

Yet all of that had fled her mind when she'd seen Lucius draw Draco into his arms. He was stiff and Draco even more so, but at the same time she couldn't tell if her heart felt more full or more broken at the sight.

Draco had broken away still somewhat shocked before schooling his features and calling for them to follow as they delved into one of the many tunnels that stretched from the dungeons of Nott Manor.

Her ancestral home.

That was such a strange thing to think.

Draco had slowed quickly once they'd walked the first two miles. To begin with he hadn't been fully healed, now with the new injuries he'd sustained, she was worried about his draining energy.

And he'd been tortured.

Suddenly, she knew exactly what he must have felt when it had been her under Bellatrix's wand.

Helpless. She'd been completely helpless, and unlike Draco, mind arts had never been her strength. She had no way of even attempting to shield him. It had been like all her knowledge, all her research, had failed her...because she'd failed him.

She sighed, knowing there was no way to truly approach Draco about her concerns. She turned to Theo, who had been similarly quiet throughout their trek.

"How much longer do you think?"

Theo blinked, startled by her sudden speech. He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure, but it must be soon. The pull of the wards is less. We have to be nearing the end."

They slowed to stop. The thought of what they were going to do when they broke surface suddenly at the forefront of their minds.

"We have to apparate." Draco said coming up behind them.

She didn't miss the way he moved with visibly stiffness in his limbs.

"A couple of places before we head toward the Resistance."

She quieted, meeting Theo's gaze before she turned back to Draco unable to hide the concern from her eyes.

He'd surely splinch himself if he attempted to apparate in this state.

"We'll have to side along with you Hermione." Draco continued lowly.

Her eyes widened and already she could feel her pulse quickening.

The last time she'd apparated, she and Ron had…

She felt a warm hand cover hers.

Draco looked at her with a measure of concern.

"Ok Hermione love?"

She focused all her attention on simply letting one breath in and then out, all the while lost within his eyes.

She nodded after a moment. He was right. She knew roughly where they had to go. Theo didn't, and there was no way she would let Draco apparate them when she was concerned for him even walking the remaining distance to the end. It made sense the more she analyzed it, and realizing it filled her with warmth that she'd been lacking.

She could do this.

She had to.

She squeezed his hand before quietly murmuring, "Ok."

He gave her a thin smile, dropping her hand.

She caught a glimpse then at the slight tremor in his own before he quickly shoved it into his pocket. His eyes grew unfocused, and the struggle he seemed to have to re-focus was incredibly obvious.

He winced before moving to step forward.

"Let's go."

"Draco." Theo spoke then, watching the other closely.

He didn't turn, but she could see the telltale signs in his wavering balance. She came up to him and threaded her hand back through his. He shook in her grasp, letting out an even shakier breath.

He seemed to be mouthing something that she struggled at first to piece together.

 _It's bound not wild. It's bound not wild._

"Come back Draco." she whispered, pulling at his hand. In a moment his eyes blearily fluttered open, clear and focused on hers.

He shuddered unconsciously leaning into her.

"Let's take a break for a while. We'll be moving non-stop after this. We could use the rest" Hermione murmured feigning exhaustion by leaning against one of the walls of the tunnel.

If he knew that she was saving him from the wound to his own pride, he didn't show it. He merely nodded and tiredly went down to sit, pulling her along with him.

Theo looked grim meeting her gaze before he to joined them on the floor.

* * *

Draco lent his head back to rest against the rough wall of the tunnel.

Part of him was surprised at how easy Hermione had let his episode pass. He'd thought she'd cave and ask at least one question about it.

He was thankful she hadn't.

She'd probably sensed how weary he was. It was hard to hide with his movements sluggish and his breath shallow.

He hurt.

Much more than he was showing.

His limbs would still twitch, his chest felt twisted into knots, and his vision was fading and sharpening to images conjured by his mind and the sight of the tunnel before them.

He blinked, unsettled by the dark spots that were popping in and out of either sight.

The vision had been brief, but not strong enough to have so easily overridden his shields. It had been confusing, more so in how odd it seemed; like something more out of the past than the possible future. Yet, something about it. The feel of it was so painfully familiar. It was unsettling and had his head not been throbbing, his lungs not lacing each breath with the taste of blood, and his sense of balance perfect, he would have tried to make sense of it. But he couldn't.

That thought alone had led to this quick concession for a rest.

Frankly, he eyed both Hermione and Theo, they all needed it.

He'd been hesitant to force the weight of their apparation destination on Hermione considering the last time she'd apparated months before. It would be hard, he knew, but he was in no state to attempt it. He doubted Theo could manage to apparate them to a place he'd never been.

He let out a shaky breath, letting his eyes close.

No matter what thoughts he was using to distract himself the one that seemed to be so obnoxiously louder than the rest was that last goodbye.

He tugged at the strands of hair at his neck.

As if Lucius hadn't been a bastard before, he just had to continue to confuse him with these conflicting actions.

' _What on earth are you doing?' he'd hissed in frustration, when what he'd really wanted to ask was why. Why now? Why act like a father, like a remotely decent human being now?_

' _You're my son, and I have seen you nearly die far too many times for comfort.' He'd responded quietly._

Then that...that embrace. Where in Salazar's name had that come from?

He didn't know what to think about that; what to feel.

Lucius had never been an involved or attentive parent. He'd never expressed explicit pride...he'd never told him he'd cared about him. Sure, there were certain actions that pointed to that fact, but it had never been stated.

Often, especially when he'd been young and even more so when he'd fallen ill, he'd questioned it all the more. The man had barely visited him at the hospital. Though his mother had said he spent the nights there with them, he would always be gone by morning feeding him doubts at whether it all had actually occurred.

What had changed?

Was it because this new world order was not all it had promised him to be? or was it because his position at the top was no longer secured?

No. The way his father's face had momentarily shown anguish over his state….that wasn't how one looked at a person they merely considered their heir and a means to an end.

The whole jumble of thoughts and emotions was not helping his already raging migraine.

He stood, mindful of his rather precarious balance and the increasing churning in his stomach.

He'd had enough running his mind in circles over speculations.

"Let's keep moving." He murmured not waiting for an answer before he began making his way deeper into the tunnel.

* * *

They broke to the surface after half an hour more of walking. Hermione was never so relieved to see a glimmer of sunshine.

She'd rubbed her eyes and it had been like rubbing away the remnants of a bad dream that had lasted much too long before she'd woken.

The tunnel had been a different world, dark with only their wands for light, and a place that left her mind too free to contemplate her worries and foster more as her thoughts turned to what exactly would happen when she walked back into the Order with two known marked men.

Although that first sign of the fading sun, which was giving way to a night that had a clear sky had seemed to quiet that restlessness in her.

 _From there we came outside and saw the stars._

Yes, the endings of a beautiful sunset and the beginning of a long but peaceful interlude with the bright constellations.

She'd apparated them all with a faint smile tugging at her lips.

* * *

She did three jumps before she felt safe enough to risk apparating so close to the Order headquarters.

They made camp on the western edge of the forbidden forest near a small muggle village that Blaise had told her about. This is where everything became trickier.

She didn't know the exact location, but Blaise had said that it was marked by solitary and abandoned looking cottage. She was debating how she might be able to track the magical activity when Draco had dragged her off to bed.

"Stop thinking. Stop worrying." He nipped at her ear.

She laughed turning her head as he began ghosting his lips lower and lower. She pulled at his shirt eager to feel him.

"I'm not." she lied.

"You are." he countered, throwing off his shirt and quickly doing the same for her.

His fingers moved over her ribs before reaching to unclasp her bra.

"Maybe." She conceded not moving her mouth from his to speak.

He shook with silent laughter as he examined her healed body.

The wards at Nott Manor had done a number on her, many if not most of her scars were gone. She traced her fingers over his scars, relishing in the slight shiver that went through him at the motion.

She wondered how he felt about his. He didn't seem self-conscious, but with Draco it was hard to tell.

Even if the sight of them brought tears to her eyes, she did love them. Every last one of them, because they were him. All and completely him.

"I love you." she whispered as she opened her eyes to look up at where he was towering over her. "No matter what."

He gave her an amused look, though beneath it she could see that familiar bit of insecurity he still clung to.

Or maybe it was worry.

"Always." she continued pulling him down and when they kissed next, she wasn't sure why, but it tasted like pure melancholy.

He pulled away, letting his hands cup her hips ,and his thumbs run soothingly over the bone.

"Always?" He asked burying his face into her hair and softly running his nose against her neck

She pulled him up to face her, cupping her hands around his face.

"Yes."

He smiled brighter, fuller, so that even that dimple she so adored made an appearance.

When they kissed next, she was pleased that it was considerably more passionate and tinged in bitter happiness than before. They spent the night tangled in the feel of it.

* * *

Draco slept fitfully and when he finally did wake the next morning, the cramping of his gut forced him out of the warmth of the bed and immediately to the one loo within the tent. When the clenching of his stomach and churning in his gut settled, he grimaced at the staining red in the cool white ceramic.

Fuck.

 _You've been through worse. You've been through worse. You can handle it._

Shakily, he stood, momentarily worried that his legs wouldn't take his weight. He pulled himself up, leaning heavily on the edge of the nearby sink.

Internal bleeding? Possibly, it would make sense. He rubbed at his chest, above his still bruised ribs.

Hesitantly, he reached up to feel the skin between his upper lip and nose, sagging with relief when he met no wetness dripping down.

At least he had that.

He washed quickly before quietly making his way into the makeshift common area of the tent to rummage around for the various medical supplies he'd managed to grab when they'd quickly fled.

He finally settled for and Advanced Wound healing potion and a blood replenishing potion.

Not an ideal combination, but he hardly dared to try healing it completely himself.

He slumped onto a nearby chair after taking the potions, vanishing away he vials. He lent forward covering his face with his hands.

This was not good.

He felt another presence join him, and without looking he knew it was Theo.

"What's going on Draco?"

He sighed, dropping his hands to look at Theo.

He wanted to lie, but that was just prolonging the inevitable. Theo wouldn't believe him. He wouldn't believe him. The scent of blood seemed to be clinging to him, so potent that it was filling his airways to the point he wanted to choke.

"Those last few crucio's really did me in." He murmured, letting his eyes drop to examine the cracks in the floor.

"You need to tell Hermione."

He looked up quickly.

"No. I'll be fine until we reach the Resistance. They'll have supplies, actual healers. It'll be fine."

Theo gave him a look of doubt.

Did Theo suspect that something worse was afoot? Pansy had, but Pansy was different, a true stickler for details. Theo was attentive, but he was more big picture and long term.

Yet, Theo knew him about as well Pansy.

"She can help, at least until we get there." Theo sighed, "She has a right to know."

Draco scowled.

"Don't go playing the righteous and protective brother now Theo, she's only been your sister for 2 days."

Theo grimaced, and Draco was sure that that bit of hurt had sparked anger in the other. It was quite a surprise when Theo seemed to ignore that flame and instead slump forward in a sigh.

"Maybe so, but I'm not just being a protective brother Draco. I'm being a protective friend." He gave him a weak smirk. "Besides if I was being the brother than I should really be dueling you for going behind my back and presenting a token to my sister."

"At least you know my intentions are honorable." Draco snorted before growing solemn, "You don't...even though it's me…"

Theo took pity on him and cut off his rambling. "Better you than someone else. At least I know you love her."

Theo would have done better had he actually dueled him. Saying something like that knocked the air right out of his lungs.

Gods it hurt.

The truth of it hurt and ached and healed…

It was because of that love that he didn't want to tell her, not yet. She had enough to worry about with their abrupt gatecrashing into the Order headquarters.

"Salazar's rod I do." he muttered.

Theo looked like he wanted to say more, but it was just then that Hermione came in, freshly showered but still sleepily rubbing at her eyes.

She came up to him and draped one arm over his shoulders and leaned in to kiss his temple.

"You weren't in bed." she whispered near his ear.

"I got tired of waiting for you to wake." He teased lowly.

She snorted, kissing the tender flesh near his lobe before pulling away to examine his face. Her fingers brushed at the gray beneath his eyes, as she dropped closer and kissed his cheek. He gave her a thin smile, which she returned briefly before she bit her lip. Sh wanted to speak. He could tell, but she seemed to be still debating what to say before Theo spoke.

"Alright. Alright enough." he said, "Enough touchy feely shit. I do not need to be see my sister and my best mate exchanging spit before breakfast."

Hermione blinked in confusion before she broke out in laughter.

"Sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities Nott." he snorted.

Theo rolled his eyes and turned to look through the food supplies Hermione had brought.

"I don't know about you two, but I like to meet my enemies on a full stomach."

Hermione chided him in between her lingering laughter as she turned to help her brother sort through her array of supplies.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair watching the scene.

Today, they would be meeting the Order.

He couldn't help it, but the thought filled him with a sense of dread.

* * *

Draco was hiding something from her, and she had a feeling she knew what. It wasn't hard to see that fading bit of color on his face or hear the effort he took in taking each one of his breaths.

She wanted to push him to speak, but she also wanted him to tell her of his own accord.

For now, she left it.

They had to get to the Order quickly.

She had a feeling he needed a level of care greater than what she could realistically provide.

She forced on a lighthearted air as they quickly packed up the tent and trekked deeper into the forest following the magical traces she was tracking.

"I don't like this." Theo muttered as they stopped a few hundred feet from the looming abandoned cottage before them.

She glanced at Draco, who grimly nodded.

"It should be fine." She insisted, "They'll see me and I can explain…"

"Granger." Draco interrupted, "They're going to see you with two known Death Eaters. I don't think they'll wait for explanations."

"They won't attack unless provoked." She insisted, though wearily noting Draco was probably right.

She wanted to believe the best of her fellow Order members, but this war had been hard and trying. In more than one situation it had been better to fire a spell first rather than wait for later.

"Then let me go first."

She didn't give them time to protest before she began walking closer to the cottage. She heard them scramble behind her, but they didn't reach her until she'd just about crossed, what she guessed, was the 100 foot radius.

They each had grabbed hold of one of her arms.

"Hermione we should wait -" Draco began before he stiffened and threw them all to the ground.

Her protest died on her tongue as she felt the heat of a spell nearly singe the top of her hair as it soared above them.

Shit.

She heard a cracking from beside her, and briefly she thought it might be Draco's ribs re-breaking before she jumped into action.

She cast a shield and began calling out for them to stop attacking them as she dodged stray spells.

She could see Theo sending out spells in retaliation out of the corner of her eye.

"Don't. Don't fire back. It won't help." She said.

Reluctantly, Theo stopped and stepped closer to her, reinforcing her shield.

"Fucking idiots." Draco muttered from behind her as he pushed them both roughly to the side. He stepped in front and pocketed his wand before stepping out of her shield.

"We're on your side." He shouted throwing his hands up in surrender. "Get your fucking senior members out here and we can talk."

She walked toward him.

"Draco get back into the shield." She said tugging at his arm.

"I'm not hiding behind a shield." he snapped, "I'm not cowering before them even if we still have to look non-threatening."

They were the definition of threatening. Both Theo and Draco were battle trained and worn and it showed in their stances. And her…well, her shield was holding strong.

They made for a threatening picture to be sure.

She was so lost in her musings that she didn't see the spell shot at them until Draco had pushed her once more to the ground, shielding her with his back as the spell hit him squarely.

"No." She shouted, rolling them over so she could examine him.

* * *

He couldn't breathe. It was like all his airways had shriveled up, burned by this incredibly heat that came over him.

He choked, coughing and wincing at the rustic taste that was filling his mouth and spilling over his lips.

"Shit. Shit. It's blood."

He blinked at his clouding vision, hearing a multitude of voices around him blending together.

"You were supposed to capture not kill." he heard some other voice speak.

"We need a Healer you incompetent prats." He heard Theo exclaim.

He shook with laughter as his vision continued to fade. He could feel himself slipping deeper...deeper...deeper.

Someone grasped his hands.

"Draco. Draco." they shook him.

Hermione?

"Please hold on. Please love." She whispered.

He wanted to. Truly he did. He parted his lips to say it before he found himself choking and coughing once more.

"Draco!" she screamed as everything around him went black.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Thanks to everyone who left a review! Like always all reviews = love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

 _He blinked, his eyes rapidly adjusting to the dim light. He rubbed at his lids to clear the blurriness from the vision, focusing on the dimensions of the room. He frowned, taking in the random assortment of jars and vials before he caught sight of the desk._

 _He froze taking in the occupant behind the desk._

" _Sev."_

 _His godfather gave him a thin smirk before rising from his seat and coming closer as though to appraise him._

 _He felt overwhelmed. Of every loss he'd ever felt, Snape's had been the most bitter. The man had always been an enigma, but to him, he'd always been a reliable parental figure. Snape had never given into his spoiled and petulant demands, but he had taught him and offered him guidance that was more valuable than anything his own father had._

 _He'd missed his surly presence._

 _Yet, if he was seeing him like this that could only mean…_

" _You're not." Snape said softly, looking him over carefully as though to memorize his features._

 _He swallowed roughly._

" _You're not dead. Close though."_

 _He bit his lip, sensing from the twist in Snape's mouth that he was about to receive one rather familiar verbal lashing._

" _Where is your sense of self-preservation? Surely, I taught you better than this." Snape gestured over his form, "I've only been dead two years, and you let yourself get to…"_

" _Oh Come off it. It's not all my fault." Draco said, folding his arms and pressing them tight against himself._

 _Snape raised a brow, showing he obviously didn't believe him. He bit the inside of his cheek as he shifted his weight slightly as Snape continued to stare him down._

" _Maybe so." Snape conceded after a moment._

 _Draco let out a breath, he hadn't even realized he'd been holding before he turned to examine the potions master's office. "So does it all look like this? the in between the void."_

" _No. It is a manipulation, designed by your mind to show you something familiar."_

 _He nodded once._

" _So if I'm not dead…"_

" _They're stabilizing you, but the beating and weariness of your body was enough that your soul was able to momentarily tear itself away…"_

 _He swallowed roughly. He'd come so close to just...being gone._

 _He fisted his hands tight at his sides, suddenly thinking of one benefit to being in this limbo state._

" _My mother…" his breath hitched, "Can I…"_

 _Snape looked at him oddly. "Narcissa?"_

 _He let out a shaky breath._

" _Can I see her?"_

 _Again, his godfather seemed confused._

" _Narcissa isn't here."_

 _His heart rate seemed to race, and suddenly he became more aware of the various aches in his limbs that he hadn't noticed before._

 _Snape eyed him, seemingly sensing his growing perception. "They're bringing you back."_

" _No wait." He bit out, "What do you mean my mother isn't here?"_

 _Snape shook his head, reaching out to grip him by the shoulders._

" _You've done well Draco. Much more than I could have ever hoped for you."_

 _He shook his head, his vision blurring the room and darkening the edges. "No Sev. Please."_

" _Your father and perhaps even myself may have made it seem you had to earn approval Draco."_

 _He shook his head, feeling rather light headed now but unable to take a breath._

" _But I am proud of who you've become."_

 _He blinked furiously at the stinging in his eyes._

" _Sev."_

" _You're so close Draco. You're so close to figuring it out. You and Miss Granger."_

 _Snape's form was fading before him, and even his voice was becoming nothing more than a faint whisper._

" _NO." He shouted in vain against the blackening of his vision. "Please. I need more time. I have to know…."_

 _About Voldemort._

 _About Mum._

 _Snape gave him a thin sort of smile before he seemed to fade completely, and Draco slipped back into the rather familiar darkness._

* * *

"Oh Gods Hermione. I am so completely sorry."

Hermione shook her head at Ginny's fifth apology. She bit her lip watching Draco's prone form on the bed before her.

She'd never, ever, in her life wanted to feel Draco's body actually grow cold in her hands as he stopped breathing. The heart beat had been so faint...so so faint.

She shuddered, pushing the memory from the forefront of her mind and instead focused on the weak though steady rise that his chest now moved.

"It wasn't your fault Ginny. Merlin." She blinked back tears as she forced a weak smile on her face, "Gods know that Draco probably didn't help matters egging them on."

Ginny looked as though she disagreed before glancing down to look at Draco.

When Draco had fallen... Some sort of mass chaos had erupted. The lookouts on duty had panicked at their revenge filled fury that had led to a blatant disregard for orders. It seemed that the inside hadn't been truly aware of all that was going on, and it wasn't until Ginny had dashed up to stop the fighting that things had seemed to blur around her.

She hadn't cared much to keep up with it. Thank gods for Theo and his steady nature that allowed him to regale their tale in between stabilizing Draco as best he could until they were within the Order's hospital wing.

Ginny believed her.

She saw it in her stance, in her eyes. Draco had saved her life...and Ginny had known. She'd known about him before. The fact that he was still one of their own even after all this time was not as shocking to her as it had been to others.

But Ginny was one voice amongst many senior members, and as most of the rest were scattered between assignments, a rather large raid, and a few satellite branches, she'd been overruled by those who remained.

Hermione clenched her free hand.

It was why they'd been disarmed.

She stole a glance at Theo, who was looking more grim with each second that passed with the Healer still not back from running tests.

She shuddered taking one of Draco's cool hands into both of hers.

"He'll be alright Hermione." Ginny said softly, coming up and putting a hand on her shoulder. "We have good healers."

She let out a shaky breath, nodding before clearing her throat as best she could before she spoke.

"I know. He...Draco's a fighter. He'll." She trailed off, her breath suddenly thin as she blinked unable to prevent a lone tear from slipping past her lashes and trailing down her cheek.

Ginny rubbed her back soothingly as her will finally broke and she began silently crying.

She wasn't sure when it happened, but soon Ginny's soft touches were replaced by a strong pair of arms.

"It's ok love." Theo murmured near her ear, "Let it out."

She clung desperately to Theo. "Gods Theo, I love him. I love him so much."

Theo murmured gentle reassurances to her, all the while letting her cry until she felt she couldn't have shed a single tear more.

She wiped at her face, content to just wait in Theo's embrace until Draco woke.

Ginny gave her a thin reassuring smile before wondering out loud where the bloody healer was when a commotion sounded outside of the hospital wing's door.

"I don't bloody care if they haven't been questioned or whatever fucking excuse you're giving me. Open the goddamn door."

Her eyes widened as she recognized the voice. Ginny looked panicked as she rushed toward the door. She felt Theo move, putting himself slightly in front of her.

She shook her head, placing a hand on Theo's shoulder in warning. They shouldn't appear threatening or defensive for that matter.

Especially not to one of her oldest friends.

Harry pushed passed Ginny, not hearing what the girl was obviously cautioning him about. He froze before them, growing more confused the longer his gaze drifted between Draco's unconscious form, Theo, and her.

His expression hardened as he drew his wand and pointed it at her.

Theo shouted in disapproval throwing himself firmly before her.

"I'll deal with you later. Move and let me see my friend." Harry said tightly.

"Your friend?" Theo exclaimed, "You drew a wand on her."

"I will make sure you're laying flat on your back like Malfoy if you don't…"

"Harry James Potter you will not be hexing my brother." She said, fed up at their predictable though pointless arguing. Didn't they see it wasn't worth it? Didn't they see that there were so many other things that were much more important to be focusing on?

She stood and put a hand on Theo's outstretched wand arm, guiding it gently down.

She could feel Ginny's questioning gaze, but Harry, on the other hand, had become unreadable. He was confused, perhaps betrayed, but in many ways what he was was unsure.

She stepped in front of Theo, still keeping her hand on his arm. "Ask Harry. Just ask." She said softly.

Harry let out a shaky breath before clearing his throat.

"That Christmas we spent alone we went-"

"We visited your parents" she whispered, "And I conjured flowers for the graves."

Harry dropped his arm abruptly, and before she even realized it, she'd darted forward and threw her arms tightly around him.

This was Harry.

One of her first friends and her first brother.

"Oh gods Hermione. I missed you."

She tightened her hold around him.

"I know Harry." She whispered back.

Harry pulled away to study her face before his gaze went to Draco's unconscious form.

"Really Hermione though. Malfoy?"

The accusatory tone of his voice made her heart sink. Would he not at least listen to her side?

"Harry please." She began.

He shook his head to cut her off. He clenched his jaw before dropping his hands from around her and crossing them against his chest.

"He saved me once." Harry grumbled. At her questioning glance, he continued, "At the battle. I'll...I'll at least wait until he's conscious and we've talked before I condemn him."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding before her face split into a large smile.

"Thank you." she said quietly.

He gave her a tight nod before proceeding to bombard her with questions.

She shook her head, taking her seat once more at Draco's bedside and reaching for his hand.

"I'll tell you everything." She said looking from Ginny to Harry, "Just when he's woken."

She missed the grim looks on both their faces as she grew lost staring at his.

 _Oh Gods Draco. Please wake._

* * *

The Healer returned some time after Harry had formally met Theo as her brother (a rather awkward explanation that Harry and Ginny seemed to both take in stride). She'd been on edge waiting for him. So much so, she barely registered the idle chatter around her and Ginny's low declaration that they were lucky Ron was away at a smaller base until the end of the week.

They probably were.

She didn't think she could handle the very foundations of her world falling apart and Ron's famous temper at once.

The healer, Healer Warren, had a kind face, a comforting one that didn't seem fazed to be treating a rather controversial patient. Of which she was thankful. Even more so, when he returned with his rather familiar apprentice.

Padma gave her a reassuring smile as she bent over Draco to once more cast spells to check his vitals as Healer Warren came to her side to speak.

"Well." She said stringing her hands together.

The Healer let out a breath. "He's extremely fatigued. The extent of it physically and magically alone are dangerous without taking into account the internal injuries he's sustained."

Her chest tightened as her eyes moved rapidly over his face, searching for some sliver of more information.

Warren cleared his throat. "But."

Her heart fluttered.

"It's nothing we can't handle as long as we treat everything carefully."

She nodded, relieved beyond measure to have something to grasp onto that spoke of hope.

"He's lost a rather extreme amount of blood, and after healing the internal bleeding, I'm going to administer blood replenishing potion."

She signaled her understanding with another slight nod.

"The magical exhaustion is trickier. Considering the state of his levels-"

"A magical transfusion." Theo spoke suddenly, a firm mask on his face as he toyed idly with the ring on his hand.

Warren nodded.

"Yes, that would be best. Preferably with a close relative…"

Her mind raced, as she began analyzing what the healer was saying alongside a rather eerie echo of what she'd encountered in her interludes in Narcissa's diary.

"Teddy." she said suddenly. Harry looked at her oddly before his eyes widened in realization.

"He's at another base..." Harry jumped to his feet trailing off as he muttered that he would contact them before dashing out of the wing.

Healer Warren didn't seem the least bit perturbed by Harry's outburst or his abrupt departure, continuing as though nothing had happened.

"But we need to move quickly. He's stable now, but the longer we wait the more difficult the procedure becomes. I'd like to treat him for this before we move on to other injuries."

She seemed to tone out the rest of the Healer's analysis, noting absently that Ginny seemed to be listening to it intently enough for the both of them.

She clutched Draco's hand tighter, studying the simple motion of his chest rising and falling.

 _Hang on love. Hang on a little longer._

* * *

She hated waiting. The feeling of it spread like claws between her veins through her gut and settled near her chest. It was like she was bleeding, like she was dying alongside him for each moment that seemed to pass.

Ginny had left in search of some food to stuff in her since she refused to leave his side. Theo hadn't wanted to leave either, but at Ginny's mention of a shower the temptation to simply be clean again proved to be too great for even he to resist.

She, on the other hand, had allowed Ginny to cast a few cleaning spells over her and called it day. She truly couldn't leave not until there was some sort of indication that he'd be completely alright.

Healer Wilkins had gone and begun gathering supplies and tools that he would need for the transfusion, leaving Padma in the wing to keep monitoring Draco along with a spell to alert him to changes to Draco's condition.

She let out a breath, sinking deeper into her chair as she watched the other girl alternate between watching the spells showcasing Draco's vitals and going over the various stock and potions in the hospital wing.

The silence though...that was beginning to get to her. It screamed with only Draco's soft breaths breaking it.

"Your Healer apprenticeship must be almost over." She said quietly.

Padma looked up startled that she'd spoken before she quickly recovered with a bright smile.

"Almost. Pretty soon I'll be a Junior Healer and able to manage patients without constant supervision."

She smiled weakly at Padma, truly proud of her one time friend. "That's great Padma."

Padma gave her a sheepish shrug as she came closer to stand at the foot of Draco's bed, watching the sleeping blond.

"He's not all bad is he?" She said after a moment.

Hermione chewed her lip.

"What makes you say that?"

Padma turned to her before letting her eyes drop back to rest on Draco. "Besides the fact that you're here sitting with him?" She let out a breath, "He helped someone very important to me once. Actually even more than one person important to me."

Hermione smiled thinly, moving her hand to comb her fingers through his fringe.

"He seems to do that alot. Without people even realizing it." Hermione said softly.

Padma nodded before grinning slightly.

"I'm sure he'd hate for people to draw attention to it. Would probably ruin that devilish persona he has going."

She smiled.

Padma returned it before looking up at a flash from one of the monitoring spells. She frowned murmuring something to herself.

She turned to look back at Draco, who was now shaking underneath her hands.

"What's going on?" She asked.

Padma tore her eyes away from the monitoring spells, looking grim.

"He's strained. I'm worried he might have a seizure if we…" Padma trailed off before she turned toward the stock cabinets and rummaged through, looking for some potion or another.

She stood abruptly. She couldn't just sit around and do nothing.

She was about to say as much to Padma when she heard the door the wing open. She shook her head at the interruption as the figure stepped tentatively into the room. Hermione blinked rapidly more than a little shocked a quite speechless at the figure's identity.

"Hello Hermione." Luna said, "I'm so glad your back. We worried about you."

She frowned unsure what to make of Luna's entrance. She opened her mouth to speak when she was cut off by the sound of coughing.

She whirled around to see Padma leaning over the occupied bed, holding Draco firmly up as he seemed to cough...cough up more blood.

"Luna. Truly it's wonderful to see you, but I need…"

The door flew open again. This time, with Healer Warren rushing in and heading to help Padma.

"He needs help."

She turned to Luna, who seemed to grow more and more concerned as she studied Draco.

"I can help."

She blinked rapidly.

"Luna, he needs a relative for a transfusion. That's what will…"

Her words died as Luna turned quickly to face her, looking more focused and defiant than she'd ever seen the icy blonde appear.

"We're cousins." Luna said murmuring lightly, "I think that's close enough." She turned and began walking toward the pair of healers.

Hermione blinked before rushing after the other girl, grabbing her by the arm.

"You're...you're cousins?"

Luna gave her a patient look while simultaneously pulling herself out of Hermione's grasp.

"My mum was Pandora -"

"Malfoy." She breathed dropping her arm.

Luna gave her a thin smile before turning to introduce herself to Healer Warren.

She stumbled back, out of the way of the mass commotion that seemed to unfold as Luna made her claim.

She turned to Draco's stabilized but still unconscious form.

 _You're going to be ok._

 _You're going to be ok._

* * *

His first thought as the darkness seemed to fade away was how heavy he felt. His limbs felt like iron, practically limp and drilled to a rather lumpy mattress. He groaned lowly as his eyes fluttered open before shutting at the onslaught of light.

"Easy." he heard someone murmur, as he once more opened his eyes.

He blinked a few times as the brightness seemed to dim and his vision sharpen to take in the edges of what was obviously a hospital wing.

He swallowed roughly, wincing at the rawness of his mouth and throat. He turned to his side, and slightly confused, he took in a figure he hadn't seen in ages. She gave him a thin encouraging smile as he pulled himself to sit upright.

"Hey Luna." He coughed before pushing himself up into as much of a seated position that he could manage.

He felt her ease him up the rest of the way, putting pillows behind him for support before she let her hand rub his back until his fit ended. He relaxed unconsciously into the touch. Luna had always had that way about her, more like they were long lost siblings than cousins. They could go practically months without truly speaking and when they did come together it just seemed so natural to pick up where they'd left. At least on Luna's part, it always had. She'd accepted him right off the bat.

He wasn't sure he would have, especially with how they'd been treated by his grandfather and later Lucius.

He hated it. He hated that they could have grown up as a proper family had things been different, but then when had his family ever been proper?

He focused on breathing, slow and as deep as he could manage against the lingering tightness in his chest. When he finally lifted his head and sat back on his own, his vision had cleared, and he felt much more oriented than he had before.

"I'm glad your finally awake." She said with a beaming smile on her face that quickly turned into a scolding face. "That was very scary Draco. They almost didn't let me in here to help you."

He winced before dipping his head in a nod.

He had so many questions, but the urgency to ask them seemed to flee right then. He could smell Hermione's lingering scent that told him she'd been here recently. It was enough to quench the fear of where she was. He hoped that her absence meant that she was at least off taking care of herself.

Luna shook her head before sitting back at the foot of his bed, and taking his hands into hers. She focused on his left hand and rolled up the sleeve to expose the mark. She shook her head in displeasure noticing the scars and uneven skin.

He looked down as faint flower patterns sprouted around and through the mark and he let out a slight grin at her antics.

"You should have sent word you were coming. I could've at least made those teaberry tarts I know you like."

He bit back the laughter at the absurd statement. Though he knew Luna well enough by now that she wasn't serious about the tart. She wanted to lighten the mood, and sometimes that meant saying ridiculous things.

"It was rather rude of me." He admitted. Luna grinned before dropping his arm, the flowers fading as she did.

They sat in silence, not really wanting to speak, but needing too.

"So I'm guessing they all know now."

 _About us. About being related. Do they judge you for it like they judged me?_

"Yes." Luna said simply before turning a sharp gaze on him. "Are you alright?"

"I…" He began, unsure what to say. Truthfully, he didn't know, but some part of him was becoming more and more concerned. If anything, he knew something more than whatever had landed him here was wrong.

Then, of course, there was the returning jumble of thoughts as he grew more awake with each passing minute.

Had it been a dream? It couldn't have.

Mum.

What had happened to his mother?

He shook his head.

"I'm as well as I can be." He finally managed as the door to the hospital wing flew open and before he could register who was entering he was engulfed in another person's arm, her hair unbound and slightly wet as it rubbed against his cheek.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake." Hermione muttered before pulling away and planting kisses from his forehead to his cheeks. He tilted his chin up and snaked a hand around her neck to guide her to where he really wanted to be kissed.

She melted against him, flinging her arms around his own neck to hold on for dear life.

He felt a pang of guilt as his tongue slipped passed her lips.

She was pouring everything into this kiss, into the motions, into holding him.

He knew how he'd felt at even the idea that something could have happened to her. He knew how broken he'd been left by some of the visions that had plagued his dreams.

She'd been devastated. Her desperation was proof, and it made him feel incredibly warm while also incomparably worried.

They were mad.

Love.

Gods. He was just learning it; this thing that seemed to flood him and turn his senses into dust. He hadn't had a true comparison before, but this felt uncharted. Blissfully uncharted.

A throat cleared somewhere behind her, which seemed to pull Hermione out of her stupor. She broke away abruptly, flushing bright red. He smirked slightly, kissing her once more on the cheek before turning to look passed her.

Theo gave them an amused look, though for him, he saw clear warning in his friend's eyes.

Theo came closer and clasped a hand firmly on his shoulder.

"It's good to see you awake mate. You really had us freaked for a moment there."

He let out a breath, willing his strange dream away as he forced a weak though confident smile on his face.

"You have no idea." He murmured.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: As always Reviews = love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

Despite how hard they tried to keep her return a secret, it seemed to spread through the Order like wildfire. More importantly, it seemed, was the mystery surrounding the two guests that she had brought with her.

It didn't matter that they were in no uncertain terms confined to the side of the base that housed the Infirmary and had been kept out of sight, the rumors grew with each passing hour.

It had only been two days since they'd arrived, but already she could tell that they were putting everyone on edge by not submitting to a quick mind sweep and interrogation. She'd already offered her brief report in but had refused to answer questions about Draco when he was still unable to answer them himself. At least not until Healer Warren had cleared him, which he was hesitant to do despite Draco's vocal insistence that he was fine. A fact that no one agreed with. He'd spent his first day asleep for Merlin's sake, surely he realized he needed the rest.

It all just seemed to alternate between questions and answers.

They'd dropped bombs of revelations since coming here.

Draco being defected.

Theo being defected.

Her relation to the Nott family.

Draco and Luna.

It seemed an endless list, and truly she understood where the need for answers came.

She just didn't like being hounded for them like she was in the wrong.

"Please Harry, I've given you all I have. Anything else I'd rather wait to say to Kingsley." She pursed her lips before leaning back in her chair and ignoring the looks Theo kept shooting her from his place on her side.

She should never have agreed to another partial interview with Harry. He seemed to have tunnel vision at the moment, poking and prodding for something she either did not know or would not tell. It wasn't all her story, and she wouldn't be the one to speak about things that weren't her stories to tell.

Theo had volunteered to come, though not in as many words. He'd simply followed her as she came trailing behind Harry, despite saying he wouldn't speak until Shacklebolt had returned.

"I know Hermione, but until you give a full statement you're going to be stuck here with…" Harry trailed off shooting a glance toward Theo before meaningfully bringing his eyes back to meet hers.

He didn't have to finish his sentence for her to know, and based on Theo's clenched jaw and the vein popping in the side of his neck he knew too.

 _With the prisoners._

 _With the people we don't trust._

It was wrong. They'd bled too. Didn't that mean anything?

"It's not all for me to say, and the parts that are I'd rather not repeat." She sighed, "Harry just be patient. I'm not…"

He slammed his fists on the table.

"We're in the middle of a war Hermione, there's no time to be patient." He stood abruptly leaning over the table.

"What is it that you don't want to say? You can trust me Hermione. You can tell me anything." he continued desperately.

"Harry." She said softly, hoping to perhaps calm him down before he lost it completely.

"We need to know. The longer we wait, the stronger he gets we can't just…dammit." Harry slammed his fists again before dropping his head to stare at the table.

She heard Theo clear his throat from beside her.

"You need to calm down Potter."

Harry threw his head up and glared at Theo.

"Watch it Nott. I have no problems with forcing answers out of you."

Theo raised a brow, not particularly impressed with the threat. He leaned back in his chair.

"I don't like your tone Potter, and I especially don't like it when you use it on my sister, who just happens to be one of your closest friends. She's given you enough, stop threatening and guilting her into giving you more than she can."

She gave Theo a small smile to show her thanks for his defense, but dropped her hand to grasp his lower arm in warning. She may appreciate how quick he was to give her aid, but his own position was precarious at best, and she didn't want him to make it worse on himself.

"Stay out of it Nott. Hermione's been your sister for what, a week? She's been my friend for half my life."

"Then act like it." Theo snapped, "Because even if Hermione's only been my sister for a week, she's been my friend for longer and you don't see me pushing my own desperate desires on her."

Harry clenched his jaw.

"Don't compare yourself to me Nott. I'm not the one who has to answer for a mark on my arm."

Her jaw dropped.

"Harry."

Theo growled, and if she hadn't been holding onto his arm, she was sure he would have stood and throttled Harry right then and there.

"You have no idea. No fucking idea of my reasons for anything." Theo said tightly.

Harry scowled.

"I don't have to know your reasoning. Fuck. I don't even have to know _Malfoy's,_ but his I can somewhat understand what with the death threat over him and his mum." Harry said staring Theo down coldly, "But I mean she's dead now, and why he didn't leave after that is something he will be answering for too."

He looked at Theo, letting his eyes roam from the bottom to the top of his head.

"You may not have taken the mark until recently, but you still took it. What's your excuse Nott? Who'd he threaten, can't be family. Your's is all dead."

She slumped in her seat, unable to comprehend how utterly cruel Harry was being.

Theo tore himself from her grip, his fists clenched as he slammed them on the table as he stood.

"You want to know my reasons you bastard." Theo hissed, "I did it for my friend, my friend who was dying in there on his own while he risked his mind and his health for your fucking organization."

"We didn't need his help," Harry said stubbornly, "And we didn't ask him to stay with a fucking monster. Maybe he stayed because he was enjoying the perks of it. " Harry glared at Theo, not even trying to hide his disgust.

"You idiot self centered prick." Theo snapped. Hermione desperately shot him a look to stop, repeating the motion to Harry, but both of them seemed too angry too fueled to see reason.

"Why don't you consider what Draco has been doing for those 2 years. Did you think he was just fucking around like he was on some fucking vacation? Do you even realize how many of your precious Order members that he's saved?"

Theo was fuming and didn't seem to notice her pleas to stop. She was frightened. She'd never seen Theo get so furious at anything.

"What have you been doing in all that time?" Theo glared, starring Harry up and down with contempt. "You know, I used to think Draco was exaggerating when he said you couldn't see passed the rims of your glasses lest your sense of self-importance actually be put into perspective, but he was bloody fucking right. You know there were days he couldn't get out of bed, literally, physically could not get out of bed. Yet, he still found a way to drag himself up and do what he needed to do. You," Theo sneered, "Know nothing about that. You have no fucking clue. You sure as fuck aren't the center of this conflict, and make no mistake none of what I do or anyone else helping out in this war is doing it for you. You should be fucking grateful anyone wants to help you idiots at all. Even the people who've never faltered in their loyalty." Theo's eyes rested on her, "You don't fucking appreciate."

With that, Theo turned on his heel and left, slamming the door as he did.

She closed her eyes for a moment, still hearing Theo's pounding footsteps as he stormed down the hall until they faded to silence. She let out a shaky breath before she opened them and looked at Harry, who seemed somewhat stunned at Theo's outburst while also still slightly angry.

Her chair skid against the floor, and Harry looked up suddenly, having somewhat forgotten she was still in the room.

"I don't usually expect much Harry," she said softly, "But I expected more."

She left it at that not meeting Harry's eyes as she turned and slipped out of the conference room and out into the hall.

* * *

She walked quickly, somehow already knowing where she was going without having to think it.

When she finally did reach the infirmary, Draco wasn't alone.

He was up though, sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging off the ends. He was flanked by Theo and Andromeda.

The other witch turned to her as soon as she entered and flashed her a large smile before coming over and hugging her in greeting.

The embrace was a shock, but it felt oddly right as though both she and Andromeda needed comfort for the culmination of events that had occurred between London and now.

Merlin.

She could see Theo was still slightly angry, standing straight and whispering something to Draco, who seemed somewhat confused but not surprised.

She wondered if he'd expected this kind of response.

Probably.

She pulled away from Andromeda and came to stand between Draco's legs. As it tended to do, her hand came up automatically to comb through his hair. He felt warm, soft, something that brought a smile to her lips to think.

He still looked tired though, even after a full day of sleep.

Perhaps it hadn't been as restful as she would have liked.

"You ok?" he murmured, placing his hands on her hips and letting his thumb stroke the bone that lay beneath the skin.

She nodded, keeping a smile on her face.

"You?"

He gave her a rueful grin.

"I'm well enough to leave this place."

She shook her head in exasperation and would have chided him on his impatience if Andromeda hadn't begun doing just that.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy until the Healer clears you, you will remain within this wing and in this bed, or so help me I will treat you as I treat Teddy and charm you to it."

Draco blinked, slightly taken back before he smirked.

"Well Dromeda that would be a great threat if I couldn't," He paused looking around the wing before bringing his hand up, lighting the tips of his fingers with a small flame, "do this."

Andromeda shook her head, trying to keep the frown firm on her face, but it was a futile attempt. Even if her mouth stayed turned downward, her eyes were laughing at Draco's display of wandless magic.

Hermione laughed silently before bending down and pressing a kiss to his temple.

"Be patient love." She whispered before turning back to Andromeda and asking about everyone they'd left behind.

The discussion that followed served two purposes. One, she was able to ask about all their friends and how they'd arrived.

Two,

it made them all forget about the fact that they were now really and truly in enemy territory.

* * *

The next morning, Draco got his wish. Padma came in with a bright smile and announced after this last physical exam and a new potions regime that she would approve his discharge.

He'd healed as well as he could with the aid of the healers. Now, he had to rest and return to health on his own.

Although, there seemed to be an alternative reason for this sudden discharge.

Kingsley was back, along with several prominent Order members.

Draco didn't seem surprised, nor bothered by this underlying fact. It made her think perhaps he'd already seen it to some degree before.

She wouldn't doubt it.

Padma ran down the basic tests and scans she was going to do, and at Draco's nod she began casting.

Numbers floated above Draco's head.

His temperature.

Blood pressure.

Heart rate.

Respiratory rate.

She frowned at that one, uneasy at the low efficiency displayed.

The last number took her a second to place.

Magical Output.

Padma was studying the fluctuating number, her brows furrowed in concentration before she waved her wand to end the spell.

"Respiratory function is a little low, but your lungs are still on the mend." Padma said, "Core is fluctuating so you should take it easy on the magic until it's a bit more stable."

Draco was lost in thought, but nodded to show his assent.

She took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. He blinked before looking up at her with a forced smile.

Padma then waved her wand starting with his head all the way down to his feet before projecting the image out. Draco was studying the scan intently, nearly as deeply as Padma was.

He was so fascinating like this. When he became engrossed in something, his whole body seemed to change. He'd bite the inside of his cheek and lean forward with his head tilted only slightly to the side. His eyes would dart quickly between various parts that she could tell he was trying to piece together. She liked to watch it, and rarely had a chance to do so.

Although, if she were being completely honest, what she really liked most was when he'd finally figure out whatever he was pondering. His face would light up and a half smile would play at his lips as he tried to contain the childish glee that came over him when he finally solved the puzzle.

She understood that.

She was the same.

"What's that?" He asked suddenly pointing at the region between his heart and lungs on the scan.

Padma blinked surprised at his outburst before following his line of sight.

"That dark spot." She turned to him, "Well it was a source of internal bleeding when you came in; probably cut when you broke your ribs and then ruptured following the rounds of Cruciatus."

"But it should have healed by now." Draco said glancing back at the dark spot, clenching his jaw.

Padma tilted her head. "You've studied some healing."

Draco whirled his head away from the scan and met her eyes. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"What makes you say that?"

Padma gave him a thin smile. "How else would you know it should have healed?" She shook her head before continuing, "You're right though. It should have. Healer Warren believes a secondary cruse you were hit with may have caused the delay in healing, and from what we can see, even when it does close the area is going to be permanently damaged."

She gripped his hand tightly.

"What does that mean?" She asked then.

Padma sighed glancing once more at the scan before turning back to the two of them.

"Maybe nothing, but more than likely you might see some strain on the heart which will in turn cause lung function fluctuations. You'll fatigue easily and probably need some rehabilitation to strengthen the muscle and organ function."

"Medication." Draco said then running a hand through his hair.

Padma gave him a thin smile before nodding. "Possibly, but we have to wait until the area at least seals over better."

The other girl than turned and continued going over the scan before she absently asked, "Who was the healer who did the cartilage salvaging in your shoulders and back? It's such a rare procedure…"

She whirled back to Draco. He'd gotten a cartilage salvaging? Even with her basic knowledge of wizarding medicine, she knew the procedure was difficult, rare, and done only when the pain brought on by the receding cartilage between the joints was crippling. He hadn't had it at Hogwarts that she was positive about, but then her thoughts turned to what exactly he'd been doing in London before her. It made her anger toward Voldemort increase exponentially. He'd very nearly broken everything and everyone she'd ever cared for...physically and otherwise.

Her eyes finally settled on his and he gave her a sheepish look, knowing she was upset that he hadn't told her. He let out a breath before turning to Padma, an uncertain expression clouding his features that showed he didn't know how to respond.

"It wasn't salvaging. It was potion induced regrowth." Draco finally said ignoring her inquisitive gaze and focusing on Padma.

The girl's mouth was open in shock. "But...no one's been able to formulate the…" She trailed off before her eyes widened. "You did it, didn't you."

Draco smirked and then dipped his chin in a slight nod.

Padma opened her mouth to say something before she shook her she was speechless about it. He had a gift, truly, for creative undertakings and inventions. "You have to tell me about your work, but for now." She flicked her wand and the scan disappeared, "I'd say you're free to go with stipulations. Daily checkups for now and a potions schedule to encourage the wound healing along with a few symptom management meds."

Draco looked displeased, but seemed to sense that this was a decision he would not be able to fight against. He nodded after a moment before swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and stretching.

"Well Patil, let's get those potions."

* * *

When they finally left Padma's care, another Order member was awaiting them with Theo scowling at his side.

They'd been summoned.

"Stop fidgeting." Draco murmured to her as he clasped her hand. She shook her head following their escort's directions into the interrogation room.

"I'm not." She said, as they stepped into the room.

"You are." He countered squeezing her hand as the door shut firmly behind them.

She knew better than to argue. She was all nerves at the moment, not that she wanted to draw attention to it. Her eyes drifted across the bare interrogation room.

"Well this is homey." Theo muttered walking along the walls of the room.

Draco hummed in response glancing at the walls.

He walked slowly following Theo before stopping and leaning heavily on the opposite one. His hand came up to rub at his temple.

"This is just fucking great."

* * *

Draco and Theo started a bet for how long it would take before anyone came to them.

In the end Draco won.

It took 10 minutes.

10 minutes before the door to the interrogation room and Kingsley Shacklebolt came inside.

She smiled unconsciously moving toward a man that she'd come to regard as a personal friend and mentor.

"Hermione." He said with a thin smile, "It's good to see you."

She returned the action, but before she could speak Kingsley had drawn her up into his arms and hugged her tight.

"Welcome back." He said softly before pulling away and regarding the two occupants in the room.

He turned back to her.

"You have a lot of explaining to do."

So she did.

It was a long story starting from that failed mission at the Ministry and winding through the detailed twists and turns that she'd gone through in London both before and after Draco had found her.

Draco.

She could feel him watching them intently, his gaze calculating but not necessarily cold. He was planning his next moves based on the reactions Kingsley gave.

And they were many.

Despite all his training and battle wear, he didn't seem to be able to hide his horror at the changes that had come over London...or of all that had happened.

"I knew they were fleeing something, but I had no idea…" Kingsley murmured when she told the story of the Greengrass sisters that were now fully situated in the secondary order base.

She practically heard Theo's sigh of relief at hearing that.

When she finally finished, she could feel the tension within the room thicken as silence once more settled between them.

"I appreciate everything truly." Kingsley began, "But you've put me in a difficult position."

She felt her heart quicken, surely he didn't mean…

"On the one hand you've given me an opportunity for information, but." He paused, not bothering to hide the slight guilt in his gaze, "I have to consider the rest of those here in the base."

She gaped. A thousand protests and indignation's were whirling around her mind and begging to be spoken, though it seemed she was momentarily stunned at the situation. The more she thought about it, the more her anger seemed to fester.

"I suppose I'd be worried too about the big bad Death Eaters coming to kill everyone in their sleep." Theo said coldly, before she could even form a single clear protest to voice. "Even though we managed to bring Hermione Granger back to the resistance in one piece."

She looked at Theo, and it surprised her then how well she could read her brother despite not having known him for most her life. It was a testament of the time she'd spent with them all, her Slytherins as it were.

Currently, Theo was angry, rightfully so, but he was hiding it well. He was waiting, pushing as though he was searching for something. A glance to Draco seemed to confirm it as well. The two seemed in perfect sync as they attempted to play their hands without giving anything away.

It was an art.

It was also manipulation.

"And as I said, your actions will not be overlooked, "Kingsley was speaking, "and should you submit to willing personal vetting than I can further ensure your safety as well as security within this base."

"Is my character assessment not enough then?" She finally spoke, drawing from her building frustration, "How is it, that you can trust my intentions and my abilities in action, but when it comes down to something like this nothing I say is enough. Theo is my brother, and Draco...Draco's been working for the order since-"

"I know quite well when Mr. Malfoy began working with this organization." Kingsley interrupted her, clenching his jaw, "His efforts have been noted and acknowledge, but if he or Mr. Nott wish to continue with associating with the Order then agreements have to be reached and protocols have to be followed."

She clenched her fist, and her eyes snapped to Draco as he let out a breath. He'd been so quiet up until now that any sound from him was a surprise.

She couldn't help but think he'd planned it that way.

"It's seems wrong for you to speak of me, when we haven't even personally met." Draco said, looking Kingsley up and down. After another moment, he finally continued, "Draco Malfoy."

She held her breath, stealing a glance at Kingsley, who was regarding Draco with the same level of intensity and scrutiny.

Finally, he responded, "Kingsley Shacklebolt."

Draco nodded once.

"You know it's funny. I feel as though I know more about this Order and how it works than most of it's members." Draco said, pausing once more to meet Kingsley's eyes with his own piercing gaze.

"There have been better men who sat in your seat, and they all seemed to realize one very important fact." Draco leaned away from the wall. "You need me a lot more than I need you."

Hermione clenched her jaw, unsure if she liked the tone Draco had turned this meeting toward. Yet, the more she mauled on his words, the more she realized that he hadn't said them to be blasé. They were true. He had connections. He knew a bloody forger, smugglers, and he had resources. He could disappear underground or to the continent and only return when the war was over. She'd asked him once, about that contract he'd signed before the war had broken out officially. Reluctantly, he mentioned that he would avoid any punishment as long as he abided by terms of the original agreement. He'd served as they needed him, they couldn't recant if they were the ones to turn him away.

He'd weaved a clever safety net. He'd ensured that he would be safe.

 _That he wouldn't be trapped._

She bit her lip and glanced at Kingsley, whose eyes had narrowed. He seemed to arrive at the same conclusion she had.

She stole a glance at Draco, who had stuffed his hands in his pockets looking quite at ease, and then to Theo who was leaning on the wall not far from him. They were both smirking. You'd never have thought they were the ones being interrogated by the look of them.

It was quite fascinating really. She'd never seen him work this way.

"I understand your position." Draco began smoothly, "But fortunate for you I've had this nasty thing called a conscious nagging me lately," His eyes drifted to her before going back to Kingsley, "so I'm willing to negotiate."

'How benevolent of you." Kingsley said, with just the hint of annoyance.

"I will under no circumstances surrender my wand." He said glancing down to examine his fingernails, "Nor will any of my _associates_."

Theo bit his lip and looked away, and she wondered if it was to hold back the laughter that was dancing in his eyes.

"I don't think I can ensure…"

"And." Draco continued, unfazed, "Since I assume that your main concern is myself, even though I am the only one in this room with a contract that I signed willingly _before_ the war…" Draco's jaw clenched in clear irritation. "I will accept some limitations."

Kingsley opened his mouth and then shut it, instantly looking both shocked and wary.

"Of course, I have to agree with these limitations. I believe a charmed magical brace should do the trick."

Kingsley folded his arms. "And if you don't accept the limitations?"

Draco shrugged. "Then you were the man who lost one of the most valuable assets the Order has ever had." He grinned, with only a slight hint of wickedness, "and per the contract, I defer the right to ignore any further contact, and I'll be on my way."

Kingsley stared him down for a moment before extending his hand.

"Deal."

Now she truly was in awe, though begrudgingly so. He'd gotten what he'd wanted, completely flipping the dynamic and anticipating exactly what would be imposed on him. She wasn't sure who she was angry with now though, Draco or the Order for putting him in this position to begin with.

Kingsley motioned for them to follow, and she saw Draco nearly lose his footing as they walked. A pang cut in her chest. He'd been bedridden a day ago. He really wasn't well enough to keep maintaining his defenses.

It certainly tilted her anger toward the Order.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: This chapter puts me at about 150,000 words. How on earth did that happen? As always reviews = love so please review!review!review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Draco sighed, scratching at the skin beneath the magical cuff he'd gotten only moments before. He'd been last of course. Hermione's quick sweep was over in seconds, and despite her protests, she'd been asked to leave.

Theo had been next, and while it had taken longer, he'd eventually been let go with his wand and directions to the room that would become his home for the duration of their stay.

Then him.

The probing of his mind was easy, and he barely had to work to move what he knew the others needed to see to the forefront of his mind.

It was this magical brace though that had been difficult.

The minute it had closed against his arm, his head had gone light as the rest of his body grew heavy. It felt like he was choking, breaking as his core rebelled against the bindings and something else deeper in him began retaliating.

He'd nearly been sick

Instead though, he'd straightened himself the best he could and walked out with his head held high. Once the room had faded and he could no longer hear or sense the presence of another person he'd dropped heavily to lean against the wall.

It seemed he was downright exhausted, and his mind went briefly to Patel's advice about resting and taking it easy on his magical core.

This was probably the exact opposite of what she'd had in mind.

He pushed himself off to resume his walk when he made out the sound of footsteps.

"Oi, hold it ferret."

He swallowed his groan as he recognized the voice and turned to meet the last two people in the world he wanted to see.

Potter and Weasley.

He waited, watching them both wary.

Potter was watching him intently, free from any emotion but curiosity. Thought the way he was looking at him was like he knew something.

His chest clenched and he wondered if Shacklebolt had told Potter just why he was so important to the Order. He wouldn't be surprised if the so called leader of the Order had blurted it out to simply pacify the 'Chosen One'.

The thought made bile rise to his throat in disgust.

Of all the people to find out about his visions, he'd certainly never wanted his greatest rival to.

He just hoped Weasley didn't know. He didn't think the prat would be able to keep his mouth shut about it if he did.

When it seemed apparent that he wasn't going to cave and speak, Potter cleared his throat.

"I..We," he corrected quickly, "Wanted to thank you for finding Hermione and bringing her back safe."

He clenched his jaw before offering a slight nod. He could play nice, at least for the time being.

"Her safety is important," he said stiffly, unable to resist his next words, "but believe me I didn't do it for you."

Weasley growled.

"I don't know who you think you're fooling Malfoy -"

"Well it's never been hard to fool you Weasley." He cut him off.

Weasley's face flushed a deep scarlet as he clenched one of his fists as the other went to his side, most likely in search of his wand.

"Fuck you Malfoy. I'd be more careful if I were you. One wrong move and you're out. I don't care who vouches for you."

He felt his temper flare. He took in a sharp breath then, willing himself to remain calm.

"Was that a threat Weasley, because I have to say it was rather pathetic even for you."

Potter gripped Weasley's arm. In warning or as a precaution, he didn't know nor did he care.

"I don't know what you've done to get Hermione to vouch for you, but I see you for what you are; a fucking Death Eater who _saw_ some shit and then turned tail and ran like a coward."

At the emphasis Weasley put on the word saw, it didn't matter what calming exercises he knew. He saw red.

He knew.

He fucking knew.

He was angry. Angry for the breach in his contract and the utter lack of decency and arrogance the prick had in flaunting his knowledge. Like he understood.

Even more was the smug bastard's mention of Hermione.

"You don't know anything." He hissed stalking forward. Before he could even think, they'd both swung at each other only to be pushed away from one another before either one of them could land a punch.

Potter then stepped between them, shooting his friend a glance and muttering to remain calm.

He pushed against the thin barrier Potter had erected.

It was relatively weak. Even in this state, bound and all, he could break it without lifting a finger. Why though, he thought momentarily distracted from his rage.

He'd made out Potter casting. He'd done it with some measure of force, yet it had still formed in such a flimsy manner.

Like his magic wasn't cooperating…

Like it was slipping from the bounds of the spell, allowing it to fail.

The thought nagged at him, but he didn't have time to delve into it deeper before Weasley was once again shouting.

Funnily enough, he seemed to be alternating between Potter and himself.

"Harry what are you doing sticking up for that that.." He sputtered, "That Death Eater."

He felt his temper spark once more.

"I'm not a fucking Death Eater Weasley."

"And that mark on your arm is what, a decoration?" he hissed.

He ground his teeth.

"Stop acting like you know me you ginger bastard. Do you think I'm scared of you and your idiotic threats? I've gotten more serious ones in my own fucking house." He snapped, "You have a little bit of power and a little bit of knowledge and you automatically feel like you're entitled to something from me. Fuck you. I have nothing to prove, least of all to you."

"Go to hell."

Something in him snapped then, the culmination of the argument, that warring of his own body….

Death Eater.

Spy.

Traitor.

Seer.

All of it and none of it, and he was suddenly so fucking furious that he didn't think he could stop himself from exploding even if he wanted too.

"I've already been." Draco all but shouted, anguish lacing his words.

"You think because it's been a little hard for you and you have a few battles under your belt that you understand how the world works. You don't. I practically breathe hell. I can't even close my eyes to get away from it"

He was nearly screeching now, and Weasley had the decency to look chastened.

"This will end for you, because one day the war will end. Hell, I've seen it. But this." Draco gestured to himself. "This doesn't end for me. Not tomorrow. Not in 20 years. I'm always going to be worrying about what I'll see when my eyes close at night until I'm dead. So don't presume to judge me or know how I feel and my reasons for doing what I do. You couldn't possibly be able to comprehend it."

Weasley still looked slightly angry, but even more confused with just a hint of fear in his narrowed eyes.

He was sure he looked quite a sight.

He could feel his magic leaking out and nearly sparking in the air. It didn't matter that he was half bound at the moment…

 _His father always did say he had too much magic for his own good._

Though, the way the bastard's eyes were roaming on his face and focusing in one particular spot made him grow uneasy. Out of the corner of his eye, he made out Potter doing the same.

Hesitantly, his hand came up to his lip and with horror he made out the feel of something wet. Quickly, he wiped his hand beneath his nose, able to momentarily comprehend that the blood flow had stopped.

Fuck.

Potter's eyes were wide in confusion as he gripped Weasley's arm once more.

"Enough Ron." He said firmly, "Malfoy's done his part and...and I believe him."

Weasley whirled to face Potter, disbelief clear in his expression.

"I..He...I owe him a life debt Ron."

He blinked stunned that Potter had said it, and judging by Weasley he was as well.

"Leave him be." Potter said, pulling his friend as they turned to leave, "We should be getting to breakfast."

He slumped, stumbling to lean against the wall as he waited until their retreating footsteps could no longer be heard.

Then he spun on his heel and headed quickly toward the room he'd been assigned, muttering a quick cleaning spell as he went.

What on earth had just happened?

* * *

Hermione wandered the halls before finally turning into the one corridor which housed her room. She was reluctant to go to breakfast alone and frankly with still no sign of Draco, she was worried.

He'd seemed distant when they'd finished with Kingsley and even more so while they were waiting for the customary Legilimency session.

She didn't want him to feel that anything would change simply by being within the Order's headquarters.

She didn't want to feel like anything would.

She'd nearly lost him one too many times for anyone else's opinion to matter, and now, she knew without a doubt that she would always choose him.

She'd done the opposite before, and it had nearly killed her.

She sighed, moving passed her room to the one that Theo now occupied.

Surely, he was finished with his session by now.

She knocked on the door, surprised when it opened easily for her. Peering inside, she caught her brother, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, bent over a piece of parchment scribbling furiously.

"Theo."

He startled, shifting the parchment out of sight.

"Hermione." He said shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Taking in her face, he grew solemn. "Is everything alright?"

She forced a smile to her face.

"It's fine. I just didn't want to head to breakfast alone and Draco...he's not done yet."

His gaze softened as he stood, but the motion freed the parchment, and she caught a sentence or two of what he'd been writing.

Or rather who he'd been writing too.

She smiled slightly sitting on the edge of Theo's bed and patted the space beside her. With a sigh, he scooted over until he was close enough for their knees to touch.

"How is Daphne?" She asked softly.

Theo opened his mouth, and for a moment, she thought he might deny it before he let out a breath and gave her a thin smile. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes.

"Good. She says Stori is doing better."

She nodded. "That's good."

Theo nodded, before he came closer to her and, after a moment's hesitation, dropped his head to rest on her shoulder.

"I miss her." he said quietly.

Her hand found his, and she squeezed it tight.

"I know."

He tightened his own grip around her hand.

They sat like that, leaning heavily on one another before Theo finally stood and wordlessly dragged her down the hall toward the dining area.

When he cracked a weak joke at the round of the corner, she knew without him saying that he'd appreciated her efforts.

They let their actions replace their words.

They would be ok.

* * *

They entered the room, still hand in hand. Hermione marveled at the expanded size and the rows and rows of tables that were nearly full of Resistance members. It nearly reminded her of the Great Hall at Hogwarts.

Perhaps the Order had managed to recruit more members after all.

She and Theo walked deeper into the room, and the light chatter that had been echoing around them hushed slightly as they passed.

"It's like they've never seen a new person before." Theo muttered as she searched for any free seat around the room.

"Be nice." she said in response, trying to ignore her mounting fear of finding nowhere to sit. She hardly wanted to leave Theo to fend for himself if they had to separate.

"Oh Hermione, over here."

She turned and found Padma waving at her from her seat across the room. A quick glance to the members of the table showed Ginny, Ernie, and another figure who was somewhat out of her line of sight, hidden behind Padma's form.

She half-turned to Theo, who merely shrugged his shoulders before they both walked over to the group.

As they neared the table, she heard Theo take in a sharp breath before pausing a foot from an open seat.

"Well fuck me. Goyle?" He said.

She blinked, following his line of sight to the figure in question.

Her jaw dropped in shock, but true to Theo's word Gregory Goyle was seated next to Padma. Quite close really, when she thought about it.

He looked different that had Theo not recognized him, she herself would have completely missed it at first glance. He'd lost much of the bulk of his youth, though he was still wide it was now firm and slightly muscled. His hair had been trimmed as well. The biggest change though seemed to be in his face. He looked...content.

Goyle gave Theo a sheepish grin.

"Hello Nott."

The two former housemates stared at one another for a moment before Theo broke out into a wicked grin.

"Well thank Salazar, I was afraid the only two snakes in this lion's den were me and Draco."

She jabbed her elbow in Theo's side.

"Watch it. Your sister's a lion."

Theo laughed, and she could see the rest of the table relax and crack smiles at their banter.

They took their seats, and as she began eating a warm feeling settled in her gut as her eyes darted around the familiar faces of the table.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

She grew engrossed in the conversations, particularly with Padma, asking her question after question about her Healer training.

She nearly missed it when Harry and Ron entered the hall, noticing the tiny bundle of energy bouncing between them.

She smiled and waved, and Teddy, catching sight of her, enthusiastically waved back as he tugged Harry and by extension Ron toward her table.

The trio stared at one another for a moment before Harry cracked a small smile and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry 'Mione." he whispered in her ear before his arms were replaced by Ron's.

"I'm so glad you're alright." Ron said pulling away.

"It's good to see you Ron." She said softly.

He nodded with a grin still playing at the corner of his mouth.

Then, both Harry and Ron looked around her table greeting the rest before saying they had to take Teddy over to Andromeda.

She let them go, grateful that no one had caused a scene.

It wasn't long after that that another figure entered the room. This time though, the entire hall went silent.

She looked up, dropping her fork as she took in Draco standing firmly at the entrance of the hall glancing around as though searching for something while also ignoring the blatant stares and whispers his arrival had sparked.

His jaw was clenched and his shoulders tensed, and she was about to call him over when Teddy shrieked from where he was sitting a few tables from her own and bolted toward Draco as fast as his little legs would carry him.

"Draco! Draco! Draco!" He said bounding over.

Draco's face broke out into a wide grin as he bent over and scooped his cousin up into his arms.

The whispering halted as the rest of the room went quiet watching the two cousins interact. Teddy was babbling away to Draco, his hair charmed to match before he squirmed in his arms to be put down and proceeded to drag Draco over to their table.

Out of the corner of her eye, she made out a pained expression of Harry's face as he took in the sight.

 _He probably wished Teddy would interact that way with him._

She could understand that. She'd wished for it too. At the end of the day; though, Draco was all Teddy knew.

Draco stopped at their table, Teddy clasping his hand as he stared in shock at Goyle.

Theo laughed then and Draco turned sharply to him.

"Mate, I thought the exact same thing."

After an agonizingly slow moment, Draco grinned as he took a seat beside her and helped Teddy up into his lap.

She could hear the rest of hall seemingly recovering from the shock of Draco fade as the buzz of chatter returned.

She let out a breath of relief her eyes automatically drawn to him. His face was a perfect mask of calm and happiness as he alternated between feeding his cousin and himself, but the tenseness in his shoulders and the straightness of his back was more than enough for her to know he was anything but how he appeared.

She continued to study him, noting he looked slightly paler than he had before though. It forced a small frown to her face.

Draco met her gaze and gave her a thin smile.

"Sorry I'm late." He said softly, near her ear.

"Take a while?"

His jaw clenched. "You could say that." he said before turning to Goyle to catch up.

She shook her head, vowing she'd get the story out of him later.

The thought soon fled from the forefront of her mind as she saw him slowly relax and branch out to addressing the rest of their ragtag table members.

He was trying, and when his eyes would briefly flicker to hers, she knew he was doing it for her.

* * *

Draco sighed. He could feel Hermione's eyes still on him. She seemed to be holding her tongue to keep from asking the multitude of questions he knew she wanted too.

He was thankfully she did.

He certainly didn't want to answer anything right now.

It was still ringing in his ear.

Death Eater.

Death Eater.

Death Eater.

But he wasn't...He wasn't like them.

He let out a shaky breath, focusing on Goyle and his rather close proximity to Patel.

"I have to say Goyle that when I told you to run, I never expected to find you here."

The man in question smiled sheepishly at him, his eyes drifted briefly to Patel.

"Neither did I, but it worked out well. I think."

Draco smirked, tilting his chin at the girl beside him. Goyle reddened slightly, clearing his throat.

"So it truly worked out for you." he said with a teasing lilt of his voice.

The blush on his cheeks increased as he rubbed at his neck. Greg leaned forward.

"Well, it wasn't like that at first. I ended up here after wandering a few months on my own. I was in pretty bad shape...and,"

He held up his hand to cut off Greg's fumbled speech.

He let a wicked sort of grin spread across his face. "A fantasy come true."

Goyle stammered before clenching his fist and shaking his head.

"Still a bastard Malfoy." he said, though his face showed little sign of annoyance at that fact.

He grinned, rubbing his temple. Teddy was squirming in his lap, but he seemed to be more interested with playing with the food on his plate than anything anyone else was saying.

"Someone has to be." He shrugged his shoulders, shifting his legs to better balance his cousin.

Goyle rolled his eyes before tilting his head in Hermione's direction.

"And what about that?"

He smiled slightly, catching sight of Hermione engrossed in conversation with Ginny.

"Probably one of the best things to ever happen to me Greg."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he made out Greg smirking widely.

"Good for you Draco."

He smiled slightly, before he picked up his fork.

"Thanks mate."

He sat back and allowed the rest of the conversation fold around him, not particularly wanting to continue attempting to make small talk. He could feel another headache taking hold, as he grew more weary the longer he stayed upright.

Perhaps Hermione had been right in her reluctance to see him discharged. He rubbed at the skin beneath his brace, not particularly noticing when the seat beside him was filled.

"That doesn't look good."

He blinked and turned his head to meet Luna's solemn expression as she studied his irritated skin.

He forced a thin smile and shrugged his shoulders, hoping he looked more at ease than he actually felt.

"It's probably going to be like this until my core re-stabilizes."

Luna frowned slightly before looking up to his face.

It struck him then that his cousin seemed a lot more present and grown than she had been in her wistful youth.

She studied him a moment longer before shrugging her thin shoulders and leaning closer to him.

"Well, be careful, and make sure you keep the nargles away. They're stealing the magic you're giving off."

He opened his mouth fully intent on asking Luna how she knew he was practically leaking magic, when Teddy turned his head and caught Luna's gaze.

He then vaulted forward grasping at some of Luna's hair and chatting away about how similar it looked to Draco's.

He plastered a smile on his face and nodded along as his cousins grew acquainted with one another. He grew lost watching the two and was even further distracted by his thoughts and the dull ache against his temple.

His daze was only broken when Luna stood to leave, pressing a hand to his shoulder.

"Get some sleep Draco. You look tired." She said softly, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to his temple and turning away to glide out of the hall and off to do who knows what.

He sighed watching her go; all the while thinking that, surprisingly, Luna actually usually knew what she was talking about.

* * *

Hermione watched with keen interest Draco and Luna interacting.

"You know watching them be friendly is almost as weird as watching you two." Ginny said, turning her head to take in the two blonds.

It was actually remarkable, until she'd seen them both sit side by side, she'd never noticed the similarities between the two.

There was of course the obvious pale blond hair and porcelain like coloring, complete with the graying eye color. Though, the similarities seemed more than just that. The edge of their faces, shape of the forehead, even the slight point of the chin was practically the same.

"I think it's weirder to think that Luna is related to Lucius." she said dryly.

Ginny snorted beside her, but her gaze was too focused on Luna and how her easy musing were affecting Draco.

Idly, she wondered if the girl's wistful and eerie observant nature might be the result of a sliver of their family gift peeking through her.

It would certainly explain how in tune she was despite her perpetually withdrawn and airy state.

As his cousin stood and left, she heard Draco sigh and lean back toward her.

She smiled despite herself at his warmth and the tickle of his breath against her neck.

"M'tired." he murmured against her skin.

She shifted to look down at him.

"Do you want me to help you back?" she said softly.

He thought for a moment, before he shook his head and straightened.

"No. I'm ok." he said shifting Teddy off his lap and telling him to go back to his grandmother.

He stood slowly. Just as he'd turned to go, she reached out and grasped his hand tight. She could feel some curious eyes drift towards them, but she ignored them in favor of Draco's curious gaze.

She squeezed his hand.

"Actually sleep." she said lowly, "And take the headache potion."

His lips quirked up before he dipped his head in a bit of a nod.

She dropped her hand and gave him a thin smile, which he returned easily. She felt a strange desire to simply pull him down and kiss him then, but where they were and who they were with stopped her. If he sensed her internal debate or felt the same, he was certainly not giving it away. He took her hand back and pressed her knuckles lightly to his lips before he smirked at her flushing cheeks and stalked off to exit the hall.

"Ass." she muttered, "A smug and charming ass."

She felt someone nudge her with their elbow, and she turned to take in Ginny's wicked grin.

"Now what was that?"

She rolled her eyes at the suggestive tone in Ginny's voice.

"None of your business Ginevra Weasley."

The grin didn't fade from Ginny's face as she shrugged and was pulled into conversation with Padma and Theo.

She sighed, suddenly feeling weary and wishing she'd simply left with Draco when she'd had the chance.

She shook her head, letting her eyes drop to her half finished plate.

After a moment, she felt the telltale feeling of another pair of eyes on her. She looked up slowly and her eyes met the familiar green of one Harry Potter.

She tilted her head waiting and watching to see what Harry would do. He looked lost for a moment, noticing that she'd realized he was watching her.

'Can we talk' He mouthed.

She let out a breath before hesitantly nodding.

He looked relieved and in seconds he'd stood and pulled Ron along with him.

Ginny looked between her and the two boys. Understanding was quick to settle in her inquisitive eyes.

"Go Hermione." She said, pushing her slightly out of her seat.

She shook her head and murmured her goodbyes, ignoring Theo's concerned and curious gaze. She kept her face blank as she walked through the tables and out of the hall.

Ron and Harry were waiting for her, and before either one of them could speak she pulled them both along muttering about finding somewhere private to talk.

After a few steps, Harry tugged them all into an empty room that based on the amount of dust hadn't been entered in quite sometime.

Ron shut the door, leaving all three of them to stare at each other.

She bit her lip and was trying to convince herself to not leave despite every one of her instinct to do just that.

Ron's eyes drifted to her and then down to her neck. His breath hitched as his gaze lingered there. She froze, her hand moving upward to feel her necklace that had somehow made its way up from where she'd tucked it beneath her shirt. From Ron's reaction, he seemed to know exactly what it was.

"Do you realize what he's done?" he said, and she could tell he was fighting to keep his voice even and low.

He was failing miserably.

"I know what it means." she snapped, clutching her necklace close.

"How...he's a Death Eater Hermione. He may have helped us for a bit, but that doesn't mean.."

"He's helped us from the beginning Ron. He is not a Death Eater. He never has been." she said harshly.

Ron looked like he disagreed. He opened his mouth as though ready to voice that displeasure when Harry placed a hand on his arm effectively silencing him.

"I agree he's not...he's not terrible, but Hermione." He said, his eyes wide as he pleading with her. "Help us understand. If he's not all bad, tell us why."

Ron pulled away from Harry, stepping closer to her.

He sighed in defeat before taking both her hands into his calloused ones.

"I trust you 'Mione." he said, "I always have, even if I haven't always agreed with it. Just...how did he prove himself to you?"

She felt her frustration at her two friends ebb as she took in their desperate and sincere expressions. They truly did love her, as she loved them. They wanted to understand, and frankly, so did she. She wanted them to know… to accept Draco as she had.

She didn't want to lose either of them, and Draco wasn't going anywhere. Not if she could help it at least.

She let out a breath, and drew her wand, placing it at her temple before she guided one of Ron's hands up to grasp the familiar wood.

"Let me show you."

* * *

Hermione walked down the hall toward her assigned room with a thin smile playing at her lips. It had been admittedly hard and slightly awkward to show many of the memories, but…

It had been for the best.

Harry had hugged her and parted ways with a thoughtful expression on his face. Ron, too, had seemed more at peace with her decision. Though, he did say that Draco would have to prove himself to him before he trusted the ferret completely.

Her smile widened at the memory.

It was a start, and for that, she was grateful.

She pushed the door to her room open, pausing at the frame to study the figure huddled on one side of the mattress sleeping with his mouth slightly open.

The smile still playing at her lips, she came closer and crawled up into the bed and wrapped her arms and buried her head into Draco's back in between his shoulder blades.

He shifted in her arms, and she pressed a kiss to his back as he turned in her grasp to face her. He blinked at her sleepily, dropping his head to rest at her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I woke you." she said.

He shook his head against her shoulder before looking up and giving her a thin smirk.

"S'fine."

She hummed her response as she pushed his hair out from his eyes, letting her fingers drift from the bruised skin beneath his eyes and then to his cheek bones and ending at his chin.

He watched her, not paying her wandering fingers any mind as he studied her with a solemn sort of expression.

"What's the matter?" she asked moving her hand to rest at the back of his neck to play with the strands at his nape.

He let out a breath before he once more shook his head.

"Draco." She warned, hoping he understood that she would accept no evasive answer to this.

He looked up beneath his lashes to meet her eyes.

"Granger...Hermione," he began, his fingers idly going to play with hers. "Does it bother you that I'm...are you ashamed that I'm-"

He turned abruptly from her, his right hand coming to curl against his left elbow.

Her jaw went lax as she took in his tense position and pain so obviously lodged in his eyes.

"I understand if you are. Someone always has been. I used to think my father would take his shame and choke me with it."

She blinked in shock.

What had possibly sparked this?

Her eyes widened as she put the pieces together.

 _Oh Ron was going to get a verbal lashing when she saw him next._

Without a word, she sat up and reached over him to take his left hand into hers. She looked down and began pushing up his sleeve.

"Hermione." He let out a strangled breath as he moved to pull his arm back.

"Draco." she said softly, pushing the sleeve completely up to expose the mark that stood out in rough contrast to his pale skin. She let her fingers trace the edges of it and each of the scars she practically knew by heart.

His skin was irritated around it again, and she made note to ask Padma about something to help with the inflammation later.

"Love, this has never been you." she whispered, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the skin of his forearm. "This will _never_ define you."

His breath seemed to crack, and she took that as confirmation he was at least taking what she said to heart.

She looked up and tilted his chin, her one hand cupped around his jaw as her thumb circled his cheek.

"Believe me." she said, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"I don't deserve you."

She pulled away.

"Listen to me Draco Malfoy. I'm only going to say this once." She looked up and grew lost in his eyes, "You don't have to prove anything. Ever. And I love you. Every single part of you; past, present, and future. You. You. You. Until I can't breathe or the world ends."

He smiled slightly before pulling her tightly against him as he ravaged her mouth.

"You." kiss. "Are." kiss. "So bloody amazing."

She laughed into his mouth, winding both her arms around his neck as he laughed against her neck.

"I'm glad you realize it."

He shook with laughter.

"I love you."

She kissed his temple.

"I love you too."


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: A bit late on this update but it's longer so it should be worth the wait! As always Reviews=Love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

 _He sighed, taking in the smell of old leather books as he walked slowly amongst shelves filled to the brim with texts. It was so strange, the way it looked now it felt like…_

 _He stiffened, and moved slowly across the aisle and froze at the sight that met him._

 _Another memory._

 _He saw himself looking all of 7 years old before him. He was pulling books that seemed interesting and stacking them in a pile beside him that was moving along as he continued down the shelf._

 _Wandless._

 _He'd just been learning to control his magic at this age. Lucius had forced him into lessons as his accidental outbursts had begun to grow more frequent._

 _And more potent._

 _He watched with interest as the blond child continued to move._

 _Why this memory?_

 _He heard a light set of footsteps and soon another figure join them. He straightened as the blonde woman came into view._

" _Mum" he breathed._

 _She walked passed him and crouched down beside the oblivious child lost between his piles and piles of books._

" _Why look love, this pile is getting to be taller than you." she said playfully._

 _He could remember his actions even as he saw them play out before his eyes. He lifted his head, crinkled his nose at his mother's humor and then pulled her by the arm down the aisle to show her a book he wanted but couldn't reach._

 _His mother laughed, the melodious sound tightening his chest._

 _Gods how he missed that._

 _She pulled the book, and the title flashed._

 _Ancient Magic: The Lesser Known Accounts on the Properties of Alchemy and the First Magic._

 _His eyes widened._

 _Had that really been the book's title?_

 _Narcissa smiled._

" _Oh this is a good book love." she said sinking gracefully to the floor to sit beside him._

" _Why Mum?" the young him said, taking the book and opening it to flip through the pages._

" _Well you know about Magic don't you?" Narcissa said leaning closer as though to whisper conspiratorially in his ear._

 _His blonde head bobbed up and down._

" _Yes." he replied solemnly, stretching his palm out and forcing a tiny spark to glow at the skin._

 _She smiled at the sight pulling him closer and leaning over the book._

" _Do you know darling how we learned to do that, to make our spells hold the magic tight so it would do what we wanted?"_

 _He shook his head looking up curiously at his mother._

 _She smiled slightly, running a hand through his hair as she looked in a near longing manner down at the book, "Well my dear, we had to bind it."_

 _He stumbled back, nearly hitting the shelf behind him as he took in the scene and the words rang in his ears._

 _Narcissa's eyes drifted from the boy beside her and seemed to settle on him._

" _Mum." he croaked out._

" _You remember don't you?" she whispered, "You remember love?"_

* * *

He gasped, shooting straight up. His breath coming in panting gasps. He worked to still the race of his heart, as his arms came around his middle to warm his churning stomach.

When the twisting of his gut didn't subside and in fact increased, he slid out of the bed as quietly as he could and nearly ran to the standard loo that seemed to come in each of these Order assigned bedrooms.

He stumbled to the toilet and cast a weak silencing spell around the room before he fell over and threw up.

When his stomach finally seemed to settle, he fell back and vanished the sick away, tentatively, reaching up to his lip that was surprisingly dry.

He was thankful for that at least.

He leaned against the door, jolting when he felt a soft knock on the wood behind him.

Oh Merlin.

"Draco?" Hermione called out, sleep thickening her voice and dragging her syllables, "Are you alright love?"

He cursed silently, wondering what had woken her when his spell, while weak, was still firmly in place. With a sigh, he removed it.

"I.." he cleared his throat, wincing at the lingering taste of bile in his mouth. "I'm ok." he managed, "My stomach just hurt a bit, but I think I'm fine now."

He shifted his place, as he heard her fiddle with the knob before opening the door slightly. Her head appeared in the thin opening.

"You sure? Do you need a potion?" She said, much more awake now as she stepped completely into the bathroom.

He nodded weakly, taking her outstretched hand to pull himself up off the floor. "I don't think I need a potion."

"Ok." she said quietly, coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his middle.

"Let's go back to sleep for a bit longer." she said.

He said nothing as he let her lead him back into the bed.

"You sure you're ok?" she whispered, her voice already thickening once more with sleep.

He nodded; his mind still caught up in the dream he'd had.

His mother.

That book.

He closed his eyes. He'd figure it out when his stomach wasn't as tight and twisted as it was now and the day was a little older.

"I'm getting there." he murmured curling up closer to her.

He barely slept the rest of the time. His nerves were fried, and he didn't trust himself to be able to completely close off his mind and rest without a run of images he'd rather not see.

So he pretended, closed his eyes and huddled into Hermione while trying to ignore the chills shooting through him and the knots of his stomach.

When she'd nodded off completely he slid from the bed and pulled out her bag. Before they'd left they'd grabbed what they could and added them quickly into her bag. Something had prompted him to grab that book, and he wondered if perhaps it was his 'gift' manifesting itself in another way. He accioed the book without a word, tracing the title with near reverence.

"Why this book Mum?" He murmured to himself before opening it and beginning to read.

He managed a few chapters before his eyes grew heavy and his thoughts clouded with various ideas, none of which were good.

He set the book back into Hermione's bag before he gently climbed back into bed and somehow fell into a light dozing state.

When Hermione finally stirred again, he kept his breathing even, maintaining his facade; only moving when she wiggled to get out of the bed.

"Where you going?" he said purposefully softening his voice and dragging the syllables.

She kissed him softly, a mere peck really at his lips before pushing him to stay down on the bed.

"I just have to do some research things for the Order. I never officially presented those parchments. I have to do that soon."

He blinked his eyes open.

Perhaps looking at those parchments would help in either confirming or denying what he was already hesitant to admit.

"I can help."

She shook her head.

"No. You love are going to actually sleep." She gave him a knowing smile before pecking him again. "I'll meet you at breakfast." She said, her tone signalling that he would not be able to argue against her wishes.

He sighed in defeat, flopping back to lay flat on his back as she quickly gathered her clothes and spirited away to the bathroom.

He rubbed his eyes before closing them and attempting, halfheartedly, to actually fall asleep.

* * *

Hermione slipped silently from her room, somewhat pleased that Draco seemed well on his way to dreamland as she left.

She clutched her bag close as she walked down the hall searching for an empty room to take up temporary residence.

Draco had worried her through the night. When she'd woken to the light on in the loo, she's immediately grown concerned.

Oh he'd put on a brave face. Not fighting her as she pulled him up and led him into the bed, but she could tell, really she could always tell, when he was half lying and half telling the truth.

He nodded off twice in the night for short 10 minute kips that were not nearly enough for any normal person, let alone someone still injured.

She'd left it though. He was so reluctant to address it, and she hadn't want to upset him and make it worse.

Hence why she'd slipped away early under the guise of work to leave him a few hours to think and hopefully just rest without anyone, even her, hovering.

Though the part about work was true. She did have to present the parchments. She was just still unsure what she was presenting.

She pushed open the door to a room and finding it empty turned on the light, transfiguring a chair into a desk. She sat her bag on her makeshift desk and began searching for the parchments. She paused at the book on top, pulling it slowly as she read the title.

 _Ancient Magic: The Lesser Known Accounts on the Properties of Alchemy and the First Magic._

Curious, she flipped the cover as her eyes scanned through the contents of the page.

 _It has been hypothesized that the beginnings of alchemy lie not in the binding and alteration of physical matter, but rather in the abstract elemental sense._

 _Study of ancient magic has shown a rather curious account of the properties of magic as an entity, an energy if you will._

 _This energy can be morphed into various forms, and it has been briefly discussed that the core itself is merely a funnel for the magic allotted to each magical being upon birth._

 _How though? How can an energy so versatile and so wild and chaotic in nature have been tamed?_

 _The answer is simple. Just as magic can be morphed and manifested in various forms, it must also exist in various forms naturally; free and bound._

She dropped the book abruptly, recoiling at the sound it made slamming against her desk.

 _Binding is of course the very essence of alchemy, the first known magic._

What had Draco been mouthing all that time ago as they'd trudged through the Nott tunnels.

 _It's bound not wild._

Had it been in reference to this? Why though? Why would his visions be pointing in this direction?

To a theory.

Unless it was no longer a theory.

She scrambled to the parchments and her notes on what she'd translated thus far.

A historical account, bindings of magic into carved runes. Not exactly the same, but the underlying principle was in effect building off of this...off this book.

It was too much of a coincidence to ignore.

Voldemort had been so desperate to keep these parchments, to learn from them.

 _Or protect._

Her eyes widened.

Draco had said the bastard had come back and immediately delved into research. Christ, Draco himself had been a researcher at his lowest within the ranks.

So had he already discovered something? Or was his breakthrough only imminent and as such he'd taken extra care that no one would find out before he was done?

So many questions, and really she had one source for answers.

Draco.

He had to have some idea, an inkling.

A memory.

A vision.

This book was proof of that. She knew for a fact that she hadn't placed it in her bag, which meant that he had.

She wanted to bolt out of the room and back to hers and ask him, but one thought stopped her.

He was exhausted.

Truly beyond tired.

He needed sleep and less stress to heal properly.

But then, he'd also volunteered to help her this morning before she'd forced him back to bed to sleep.

She bit her lip, flopping down in her seat as she stared at the book in front of her.

She would ask him, but she would do it later. After he'd rested, eaten, and been to his appointment with Padma, then and only then would she broach the subject.

His health was a priority. It came first. Always.

Besides, this was more than she had for months. She could be patient, as much as it killed her to not be able to immediately piece together what was going on.

* * *

He slept for two hours, and despite the shortness of the time, he woke feeling more refreshed than he had in weeks.

Though he was happy to finally feel more alert and rested, it seemed the feeling held a certain double edged sword.

At the moment, he felt even more in tune to the weariness of his body and the fluctuation of his core.

He scratched at the skin beneath the brace, knowing he shouldn't but unable to ignore the irritation.

He felt all kinds of out of sorts, and the only way he knew how to deal with it would be to brew himself something.

He hardly wanted the Order to be privy to such intimate details about his current physical state. It was enough that they knew how injured he was and about...about his gift turned curse.

He showered, turning the water blistering hot in hopes it would help distract him from the soreness of his muscles and the burning of his wrist beneath the magical manacle.

When he finally deemed himself presentable, he took to the hall in search of where the Resistance housed their potion ingredients.

He wandered, practically aimlessly until he collided head first with another moving body just as he turned to round a corner.

He was about to open his mouth to either snap at the person for their incompetence or excuse himself depending on who it was, but a dreamy voice was quick to beat him.

"Oh good. I was looking for you."

He blinked, still slightly dazed at Luna.

He plastered a weak smile in greeting.

"Morning Luna."

She smiled, before looking him up once and down.

"Good Morning Draco. Are you feeling any better?" she said after a moment.

He shrugged, biting his tongue before he conceded that there was no use in lying to Luna. Not when she was already looking at him like she knew exactly how he felt.

"I had a bad night." he finally murmured.

To his surprise, her face fell at his words. She bit her lip stepping closer to cup her long fingers around his jaw.

It was a bit of a reach for her, petite as she was, but the sheer force of will in her actions distracted him from fully realizing it.

"Draco...You'd tell me wouldn't you, if...if you started to feel as bad as before." she said, her lip slightly trembling as she spoke.

"Luna."

"No." She said louder, "Please Draco. Please take care of yourself. I'm so worried about all the normal stress you have and add in the stress of the -"

His heart rate quickened.

"Of the what?" he said, interrupting her.

She blinked, more than a little confused at his outburst before she seemed to square her shoulders and continue.

"The family gift."

He glanced about the hall, searching for anyone who had even a remote chance of hearing their conversation. When he was satisfied they were well and truly alone, he spoke.

"Do," he searched her face, "Do you have it too?"

She hesitated before shaking her head.

"Not like you. It's more a touch of it. It's how I'm always so in tune to other people and how I can see all this." she said waving her hand above her head.

"But how did you know I had it?" he pushed, ignoring her odd gestures. He had to know if he had slipped. If somehow more people could have guess. He could feel his gut twisting again, overwhelming him with the urge to be sick.

"I could sense it." she said as though it made all the sense in the world.

He looked for some trace of a lie, but finding none he accepted her response. Luna had sensed stranger things. Really what was this in comparison to the invisible creatures she spoke about.

"Draco you have to take care of yourself. Please." She said looking up at him, her pale eyes shining, "You...you're all I have."

He felt his jaw go slack as tears welled up in his cousin's eyes.

"Daddy. Daddy died. In the battle." she whispered, "You really are all I have left."

Before he even realized what he was doing, he drew her up into his embrace, ignoring the slight stab of discomfort in his side as he pulled her tight against him.

"I'm going to be fine Luna." He murmured softly, "In fact, I was just looking for where they keep the potion ingredients so I could brew myself something."

She pulled back, nodding once before wiping at her cheeks quickly.

"The Greenhouse room." she said clearing her throat, "Two corridors down first door on the left."

She seemed to be studying him again as she spoke next.

"Everything in there is charmed to stay in bloom."

He resisted the urge to grimace at that. His core was still completely in a funk. The way it stood, there was little likelihood that his core would be compensating for anything. Meaning, what were normally manageable malfunctions of his immune system would probably manifest in full form.

It would certainly make breathing in the room let alone moving about difficult.

He pushed the troubling thought aside.

He'd manage. He always did.

He muttered a thank you, lost in his plot and lists of potion ingredients that he needed when her voice again brought him to a stop.

"It's time for breakfast."

He tilted his head in question at the abruptness of her conversation change.

"Hermione is expecting you, isn't she?"

He winced, briefly wondering how Luna had anticipated such a worry when he should have.

Seeing his face, she let out a laugh before coming close once more and threading her arm to circle around his.

"Let's go." She said merrily. In fact, by her now cheery demeanor one would never have guessed she'd been tearing up over his health and reminiscing about her deceased father just a moment before.

But that was Luna.

She always adapted.

His lips quirked at the thought of how that very feature had charmed the last person he'd ever expected to glance twice at his cousin.

As though sensing his train of thought, Luna grinned up at him.

"He's coming tomorrow. He was on the continent with an assignment."

He smiled at her obvious happiness at that fact as they fell into easy silence all the way to the eating hall.

* * *

Hermione waited impatiently at the empty table she's managed to snag for breakfast. She'd stopped back by the room and been somewhat surprised as well as disappointed that Draco wasn't still curled up sleeping their bed.

The thought of it as theirs had been enough to cause her cheeks to heat at the time. That was what it was though. There was no way Draco would relinquish it and go to his own assigned room unless forced.

She certainly didn't want him to.

She sipped idly at her coffee as she waited, watching more people wander into the hall and stake out tables of their own.

Two faces then pulled her to her feet with a smile tugging at her lips.

"Fred! George!"

The twins turned and seeing her broke out into matching wide grins.

Without thinking, she rushed over to the both of them and was not surprised in the least when they drew her up into a tight hug.

Before they'd even broken away, the two were already bombarding her with questions and confrontations on the rumors that had already begun to flow.

Strangely though, their inquiries didn't seem accusatory, only curious.

When her tale was finally told, George let out a whistle.

"Well well 'Mione, look at you breaking the rules, having adventures, and some fun," He waggled his brows, "in enemy camp."

She rolled her eyes at his good humor before turning her gaze to Fred, who seemed uncharacteristically silent.

He gave her a smile then, seeing her gaze. It was wide and genuine, but she couldn't help thinking that there were far too many emotions going into it to just represent a simple grin.

"Good on you 'Mione." he said then with a teasing lilt in his voice as he shoved her playfully with his shoulder. "That Malfoy." he cleared his throat, "He's not a terrible bloke."

She tilted her head and noticed that Fred's hand had reached down toward his left leg.

Or rather, the one of his legs that was his own up until the knee where it was fitted with a prosthetic.

Fred had barely survived the collapsing of Hogwarts that had claimed Percy, but he had survived. However incomplete that was.

The way he seemed to unconsciously be grasping at that side of his body made her wonder if the reason for his survival was who she suspected it was.

Based on Fred's declaration, she was probably right.

She smiled softly, dipping her head into a small nod.

"So tell me," She said, trying to steer away the conversation, "How is your new leg working out? It seems you've made some improvements." She said bending her head to examine some of the spells she could make out even through his bottom pant leg.

Fred grinned, this time more wickedly and reminiscent of the trouble maker she knew so well.

"I'm not telling you all my secrets 'Mione." he said before his face grew more serious, "You might tell Mum."

She laughed at his demeanor, joined in moments by the two of them.

"How is Molly?" She said folding her arms, warmed at the easy nature the two Weasley twins seemed to give off no matter what the situation.

"She's back at the Ireland base, still with the long term care ward helping out."

She furrowed her brows.

"We have a long term care ward?"

They hadn't before she'd left, though she'd suggested the creation of one to Kingsley and the other senior members before.

They both nodded earnestly as they alternated in describing the new ward and the type of ailments, injuries, and physical therapy that they were well versed in.

"Are there many people there?"

They looked at one another before George finally answered.

"A few, most of them temporary, some aren't for the time being."

She resisted the urge to shiver at that. There had been a few coma patients when she'd been here 7 months ago. Part of her had been hoping that there might have been some change in that department.

"And there's a few being quarantined for spell damage that has to run it's course before they can be healed." Fred continued, "But there's enough people that it was just best to open somewhere else. Free the wing here for when we have injuries after battles."

She nodded mutely, the quip about quarantining for spell damaged nagging at her brain for a moment.

She was about to ask about what kind of spells, when the two both turned to glance at something above her head.

She turned quickly, already feeling a wedge of forbearing slipping into her chest.

She took in the sight of Draco and Luna, arms linked, standing a few feet from where a rather angry looking Seamus Finnegan stood blocking their path.

Her movements didn't seem like her own as she practically ran over to them in hopes to diffuse the situation.

The closer she got the more bits of their conversations she could make out.

"I'm not disowning Draco, Seamus. What an awful thing to say."

She didn't hear the response as she slowed her pace to a brisk step, cautiously approaching the scene.

Draco had straightened, pushing himself forward as though to partially shield Luna.

"Leave Luna out of it. Your problem is with me Finnegan." He said stiffly.

She stepped even closer, feeling Draco's gaze on her as she stopped to face Seamus.

"Hermione get Luna and go so I can deal with this this…"

"Seamus. Calm down."

Seamus shook his head furiously, his wand still unwaveringly pointed at Draco.

"No. No. He...he's a murderer." he spat, "He helped kill them. I know it. In Diagon Alley" Seamus said, shaking with fury.

Her heart sank as she realized what Seamus was thinking of.

His mother and cousin had been slayed during a battle in Diagon Alley nearly a year before, but… She glanced at Draco, whose face had gone eerily blank; she didn't remember him there.

"No need for public accusations." Draco said quietly, "I know exactly what kind of monster I am Finnegan."

She wanted to speak out, but found her words lodged in her throat at the expression now on Draco's face.

Hard. Brittle. Cracked.

He let out a breath.

"I wasn't there." he said just barely louder than a whisper, "but I'm sorry."

Seamus's face seemed to fall before it hardened in mere seconds once more.

"No. No. You're a liar, but you're right about one thing. You are a monster." he spat.

Draco said nothing, not even bothering to reach for his wand.

"He's not." Fred said.

She turned her head fast in the direction of his voice. She hadn't even realized the twins had followed her.

All heads turned to Fred, who merely repeated what he'd already said, this time while looking at Draco.

"He's not."

Seamus still shook with fury, but she could see the beginnings of his confusion shining through.

"He isn't a monster Seamus."

They all turned toward the new voice that seemed to have crashed into the scene.

She blinked in surprise at Harry, who was standing with Ron and Dean at his side.

Idly, she wondered when Dean had managed to get to the base, before she refocused on Harry. Her heart was swelling at his defense of Draco.

Dean nodded along with Harry, meeting Seamus's gaze as they seemed to somehow speak through their silent appraisal of one another.

"I owe Malfoy a wizard's debt."

Her heart seemed to stop at those words, and she could hear the chatter that had been filling the hall seemingly stop at Harry's soft declaration.

"He's…" Harry met Draco's gaze, "He's not all bad Seamus, and he already told you he wasn't there."

That seemed to be enough to drain the remaining bit of dangerous anger from Seamus, who turned sharply away from the scene without another word as he exited the hall.

She made out Dean going to follow him, but kept her main focus on the remaining people in their half formed circle.

Draco suddenly seemed much more tired than he had a moment ago, and she was momentarily grateful that Luna was still firmly holding him close.

The tension was thick, and she briefly thought that even the smallest of insults now might throw off the rather precarious truce they'd all unspokenly agreed too.

Harry let out a breath then, a weak smile on his face. "Well let's eat. It's breakfast, and I'm starved."

She began to smile unbidden at Harry's quip as he turned and walked straight to her table and sat down resolutely.

He was making a statement, and she could have kissed him for it.

The twins slipped in on his left as Luna led both her and Draco to the opposite side.

She smiled at the sight, moving to take the open seat beside Draco.

Perhaps this peace wasn't as fragile as she'd believed it to be.

* * *

Draco sighed, willing himself not to simply drop his head down and rest it on the table despite how much his body wanted him to do just that.

What little bit of energy he'd had seemed to have slipped right out of his grip despite how much he'd wanted to cling to it.

He glanced idly at the odd assortment of members at their table.

The fact that Potter was still there shocked him; though not as much as Weasley joining them along with Ginny.

He glanced sideways at Theo, who grinned as though reading his thoughts before returning to his food.

He shook his head, unconsciously reaching to rub at the tension now building in his temple.

He needed to slip away not just to that Greenhouse, but also to just get away and think.

"You need to eat."

He blinked, torn from his thoughts as Hermione elbowed him lightly in the side.

He shook his head at her questioning gaze.

"I'm not hungry."

Which wasn't really a lie, he didn't think he could eat even if he was though. His stomach seemed more concerned with twisting and turning in a manner resembling a storm rather than being fed.

As though anticipating his thoughts, she leaned in closer and whispered.

"Is it still your stomach?"

He let out a breath, which she seemed to take as confirmation before rummaging through her bag and pulling out two teabags that she set within a cup and poured in heated water.

"It should help." she said softly, winding an arm around him and pulling herself close as though to offer him warmth or seek her own.

The latter would have been a foolhardy attempt.

He felt cold. Colder than ever as a vision of Finnegan's face flashed before his eyes.

 _I know exactly what kind of monster I am._

And he did.

He may not have been Diagon Alley, but he'd contributed to that attack hadn't he?

He sipped at the tea, finding that whatever herbs Hermione had added in did seem to be helping settle his stomach.

"You're not you know." She whispered, moving just enough so that they could meet each other eye to eye.

"You're not a monster Draco." she continued.

He looked away, letting his eyes drop to his warm tea cup.

"In some ways I am."

She didn't say anything for a moment.

"Why did you apologize to Seamus?"

He could hear the second question and the third that she didn't ask.

Why apologize if he wasn't there, and if it had anything to do with his visions.

Both in their own way, answered each other.

"I may not have been, but I definitely knew…" he trailed of,f knowing she'd be able to piece together the meaning from those few words. He cleared his throat. "And...I helped plan it. I was." He grew lost in his memory of that time. His position had been so dangerous.

"I was told to offer some input and it...I was already on thin ice near the bottom end of the ranks…."

She put her hand on his arm, and with a start, he realized he was shaking. Remembering it had left him broken. If it had been the one instance, perhaps he could excuse it, but it wasn't.

It had been a miserable two years, rising in the ranks and securing intel at the expense of himself.

Nothing new, if he really thought about it.

That had been happening for most of his life.

Her fingers came up to his forehead, parting his hair before she reached up and pressed a kiss to his temple lingering with her hot breath warming his skin.

"I told you before that that doesn't define you, and I meant it."

He nodded, willing a smile to his face as he bent down and took both her hands into his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"I know."

She nodded, somewhat satisfied by his response, her cheeks slightly flushed from his display as she began placing some dry food onto his plate.

He sighed watching her as she turned absolutely motherly toward him, barely able to hold back the smile her actions brought about.

He shifted his gaze to his palms, content to let her do as she pleased when the hairs at the nape of his neck prickled. He felt a pair of eyes settle on him and glancing up, he met Theo's gaze.

He looked away, noting that Hermione had finished putting together a plate and with one final reprimand to eat something had turned back and quickly grown lost in conversation with the other end of the table.

With another sigh, he took a piece of toast and nibbled at it as he felt Theo's gaze return to him.

 _What's the matter?_ He heard Theo's voice as the message brushed the outer edges of his mental walls, clear but much too weak to penetrate further.

WIthout so much as looking up, he projected out his response.

 _I didn't realize you could do this yet._

He risked a glance at Theo who seemed caught between wanting to look insulted and smug.

 _Do you really have so little faith in your teaching abilities?_

He took another sip of tea before replying.

 _I think it's just my faith in you._

Theo coughed, nearly spitting out the coffee he'd drinking. He resisted the urge to laugh at Theo's expression.

 _Fair. But really. What is it?_

He put his cup down, glancing to either side of him to see if anyone was paying him any mind. Satisfied, he let out a breath before responding.

 _I need out._

He made out a thin smirk pulling at Theo's lips.

 _I'll cover._

He smiled unconsciously at Theo's easy volunteering. At this point, Theo knew better than to bombard him with questions all at once. He'd get them later.

And at this moment, he didn't care about answering them. He felt cramped, nearly suffocating from the memories that had been provoked and the closeness of all these people who'd he'd both wronged and been wronged by for his whole life.

Plus, he had things to do.

He sat back as Theo began drawing some of their neighbors into a rather humorous story from their days back in the Slytherin common room.

He waited a few moments for everyone to become engrossed in the tale before he leaned over to Hermione and whispered that he was off to get some rest.

Excusing himself quietly, he stood and quickly made his way out of the hall and into the corridor.

It took him about ten minutes with Luna's directions before he found the room in question.

He lingered around the corner, making note of the rooms around it. It didn't seem to be a popular destination which he supposed was fortunate for him.

He walked slowly, making sure there was no one near him for one last time.

He hadn't been explicitly restricted from brewing, though he was sure if it had come up restrictions would have been enforced. He rubbed his temple. He could go back to the hospital wing and ask for whatever potions he needed, charm them or simply take them while no one was looking. Somehow he doubted that either one of those plans would end well for him.

He sighed. His body was aching. He stopped to lean against the wall in front of the 'Greenhouse'. This tiring so easily was beginning to worry him, but what was truly terrifying him was the erratic pulse of his core.

He had felt it practically throbbing to come out of him earlier when Finnegan had approached. He'd only just managed to keep himself in check, while hiding the sparks shooting from his finger tips deep in his pockets.

It had been a good thing he hadn't been holding his wand. He doubted he could have stopped a misfire of a spell at that moment.

It was terribly troubling. He hadn't lost control like that since he was 7 and the only time after that well… he didn't like to remember the other time as errant memories of that plain and pale hospital room flooded his mind.

That was another reason for this self brewing mission. He hardly wanted everyone to know about his perpetual health issues.

He took a breath before pushing into the room.

He blinked as his eyes began to water.

Luna had been right with her warning.

Shit.

He clapped a hand over his mouth and nose as he felt the beginnings of an allergy attack manifesting. Oddly, he thought about how many times he'd actually been caught in this kind of situation back in his rather rebellious youth against his mother.

He'd thought himself near invincible by the time he was 5, easily convincing himself that he could conquer anything...even his own malfunctioning reactions

He shook away the memories of him sneaking out into the gardens or greenhouses as he proceeded to grab and shrink everything he needed.

For all his caution, it wasn't enough to overcome his body's automatic response to allergens. He conjured a box of tissues and grabbed a handful before the first sneeze overtook him, doubling over and blinking helplessly. It took him about 3 more before he got some semblance of control.

He blew his nose and kept the tissue pressed against it as he searched for more ingredients. He was so focused on finding what he needed whilst not succumbing to another sneezing fit that he didn't even notice anyone join him in the room.

"Having trouble Malfoy?"

He snapped up and dug the tissue into his pocket as he turned.

"Nothing to concern yourself with Patel, I….a…a." His scowl was interrupted with another sneeze that his hand automatically went up to cover.

His eyes watered, and he blinked furiously to clear away the moisture. He swallowed roughly looking up at Padma, who was wearing an expression of confusion and concern.

"You don't look too good Malfoy."

"I'm fi-" he coughed then, wheezing as he fell back against a shelf of ingredients.

She stepped forward, her eyes widening in understanding as she took him in and then the room around them.

"You need to get out of here." Padma said surprising him as she reached over and took his arm to drag him out of the room and back outside.

He coughed for a moment before he finally seemed to catch his breath. Looking up, he found Patel still watching him intently and with a sort of expectant look on her face. His brow rose at the sight.

"Alright?" She said.

He frowned. "I'm –"

"If you say fine. I may pull a Gryffindor and hex you"

He scowled, but said nothing as he sniffled meekly. He moved to walk passed her back into the room to fetch the last few on his supply list, when she stuck her hand out and pulled him back.

"There's no way I'm letting you back in there after that." She said.

"Drop the healer act Patel." He shrugged her arm away. "Let me through, and I'll get what I need and go."

She frowned, placing her free arm on her hip.

"It's not an act. I took a vow when I started Healer training to help _anyone_ I saw in need." She said firmly, looking up and down at him.

Her gaze seemed to soften for a moment before she continued, "and when you start your Healer training," his brow rose even higher at that, "Because it would be a downright crime if you didn't become a Healer, you'll take the same vow."

"It's one thing to do your civic duty and another to offer a former enemy help."

Padma took a sharp breath. "You may have everyone else on edge over what they think you may or may not do, but…but I know that someone with a secret agenda doesn't have to save so many people he knows don't like him or…. a friend that betrayed him or save my sister," Padma's voice broke. She closed her eyes and took another breath before continuing, "Or save my sister from being raped and killed by snatchers."

He turned his gaze away to anything , anywhere but Patel's sharp eyes. He hadn't thought Parvati Patel was even conscious when he'd made that move to pull her away from the surrounding Snatchers.

"So if I understand anything it's that I owe you for that. What better way than to return the favor?"

"Patel."

"Padma." She interrupted, giving him a thin smile.

"Padma." He said slowly, feeling more than a little awkward at saying her name.

She smiled wider at his repetition before she asked him what else he still needed. Sensing it was a lost cause to argue, he rattled off the last few ingredients.

When she returned, her brow was furrowed. She was putting together possibilities for what he was doing.

He tried to clear his throat to draw back her focus, but the lingering congestion still trickling down from his sinuses made it turn into a cough.

She blinked at the sound, shooting him another concerned look.

With the intensity that she was examining him, he wouldn't be surprised if she'd somehow scanned him and taken his vitals.

"Hospital Wing tomorrow Draco." She said giving him the last bit of his supplies. "And don't think I won't come find you and drag you there myself if you don't show."

He accepted the supplies and gave her a curt nod, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

She nodded and turned, before turning back abruptly.

"And Draco."

She gave him a pointed look.

"I really don't think you should keep this to yourself."

* * *

It took him a second to fully comprehend all that Patel...Padma had effectively guessed most of his thought process and feelings in the few moments they'd spent in each other's company.

He frowned, the thought not sitting well with him.

He sniffed, rubbing his nose with his knuckles before turning and carefully making his way back toward the corridor that housed his room.

The room really was only his in name. He'd barely spent a moment in it to drop off what little he'd brought before heading over to Hermione's

Though it would serve a purpose now. He needed to start brewing and this was just the place to do it.

He turned the knob, stopping slightly when he felt another presence in his room.

Though, a second later, he relaxed as he recognized it.

Theo was sitting back on his bed, his arms crossed behind his head to prop it up as he waited.

"Fucking finally." he said swinging himself up and rising to his feet.

He rolled his eyes before shifting the supplies in his hand to grab his wand.

Without a word he moved the table at his bedside to the opposite end of the room and transfigured it into a working bench.

He set the ingredients down and began rummaging through the small pack he'd brought and pulled out his potion supplies.

"Well mate," Theo said coming up beside him. He felt Theo's gaze linger as he took in the cauldron and his supplies from the Greenhouse. "I think I am owed some answers."

"As you can see I'm brewing." he said sharply.

Theo huffed coming around the bench to lean opposite to him. He let out a breath and looked up with a brow raised.

Theo blinked, his defiant expression morphing into one of slight concern.

"You don't look too good."

He winced, rubbing his still stuffy nose.

"It's fine. Just allergies from when I went to get this stuff." he gestured to the ingredients he'd spread before him and had begun to organize.

"That bad?"

Theo's brows furrowed, and he could see his friend putting all the pieces together. All of which, culminated into a loud declaration.

"Fuck Draco." Theo said, "You...oh fuck. You need to go to the hospital wing now."

His fists clenched. He was touched at Theo's care, but he didn't...couldn't go to the hospital wing. Perhaps it was because of his own flimsy reasoning for keeping his private affairs quiet, but more than likely the overwhelming reason for his avoidance and feigned nonchalance was due to something much greater...fear.

And he'd always been a touch more cowardly than anything else.

"I'm brewing stuff to help." he finally spoke, his voice much softer than he'd intended, "And I've got an appointment with Patel tomorrow."

That last bit he was still trying to accept and rather undecided if he would comply with, but the knowledge served a purpose now. It was just the kind of thing he needed to say that would at least temporarily appease Theo.

Theo clenched his jaw, not particularly convinced, but a second later, he let out a breath coupled with a small nod.

"Fine, but you feel worse you go there immediately."

He resisted the urge to immediately clam up and go on the defense. He knew Theo's concerns were genuine, and that he'd never...he'd never hold this against him.

Theo had just about as much experience with this as he did.

Theo's own mother had been his lesson.

He gave a weak nod in response before turning his head back down to focus on preparing the ingredients.

He heard Theo let out a shaky breath above him before he joined in sorting everything out.

"So what are we brewing?"

* * *

The two of them spent the better part of the day hunched over cauldrons and chopping ingredients, but he had quite the collection of potions by the time they were through.

Draco rubbed at his temples.

His head was throbbing once more.

He didn't even hesitate before downing one of his own freshly made brews before he and Theo left the confines of his room.

He was already dragging his feet as he walked, why make it considerably worse with the pounding of his with every step?

He sighed, following Theo toward Hermione's room.

He nearly ran into the other when he abruptly stopped right before their chosen desitination.

He blinked, peering over Theo's shoulder before scowling at the mass of people in front of the room.

It seemed like every Weasley at the base was aggregated in front of the doorway along with Potter, Luna, and a few other stray Gryffindors.

"Well fuck me." Theo muttered, and he had to say he agreed.

Though, the sight of firewhiskey bottles in the twin's hands slightly softened his stance.

"I think we're about to find out how Gryffindor Common Room parties went down." He muttered, sidestepping Theo just as Hermione came out of the room.

She brightened taking them in.

"Oh I was looking for you both. We're going outside. The twin's have charmed the area and…" She bit her lip taking in their blank expressions.

He let out a breath, frankly he'd wanted to just fall asleep but seeing how hesitant and yet hopeful she was…

She wanted peace between them all.

He could at least try to give her that.

"Well Theo's never been one to turn down good firewhiskey."

Theo snorted, covering it up quickly with a cough. He shot him a look before going over to Hermione and throwing an arm casually over her shoulder.

"Why not, not like I've ever gotten smashed with my sister and her friends before."

He shot Draco a smug grin.

"But we all know I'm all for new experiences."

He resisted the urge to scowl at the memory those words brought. It would effectively be rising to Theo's bait, and he couldn't have that. Hermione; though, let out a laugh and practically skipped whilst pulling Theo along as the crowd began to move to the stairs that would take them topside for the rest of the night.

He shook his head, noting Potter was giving him a curious look.

He ignored him and trudged after Hermione and Theo.

If it meant so much to her, he would brave it.

Which he did by loosening up and downing a few firewhiskeys. Though, he noted briefly, he probably shouldn't be mixing alcohol with some of his potions.

He shook his head before walking to the side of the area the twin's had charmed to be heated and lit with light.

He leaned against a tree taking in how animated the rest of them seemed to be.

His eyes drifted to the Gryffindor's pranking one another before settling on Potter, who was summoning a half full firewhiskey bottle from where Weasley had dropped it earlier.

He watched as Potter cast his spell, noting how he could practically feel magic dissipating out from the confines of the spell as the bottle rose with a slight wobble into the air. It was fascinating really. It was almost like Potter's core was rebelling against his demands and breaking free to the wild at the first opportunity.

It was both familiar and horrifying.

He felt a sharp pang in his temple at that.

Had the Dark Lord actually done it? He'd researched it enough but had he tested it on anyone?

The rustling to his side broke his thoughts.

He turned slightly making out Hermione's flushed cheeks as she looked up to him with a grin marring her features.

"Hi." she said softly.

He smiled slightly. His witch was more than a little tipsy at this point.

"Hi." He echoed lowly.

She grinned wider and came closer, dropping her arms and circling them around his neck.

"You look happy." He teased.

She nodded.

"Very. Everyone's trying to get along...It's like hope for the future after the war." she said taking one of her hands from around his neck and tracing his jaw.

He hummed in agreement, relishing the feel of her soft touch.

"I love you for this." she murmured, her words oddly clear for someone leaning so heavily against him, "You're playing nice."

His brow rose incredulously.

"Not that nice." he muttered.

She didn't seem to hear him as she continued moving her hand up his jaw and then through his hair to back to circling at the nape of his neck.

"And I love you for everything else too. You're so...so amazing and pretty."

He choked at that, nearly unable to restrain his laughter.

"Pretty?" he managed tightly.

She nodded vigorously.

"It's not fair." she said, nearly whining, "I always thought so even at Hogwarts before…" She waved a hand in the air as though to convey what she was not saying. She brought it back to cup his jaw, bringing her thumb to trace his bottom lip.

"A boy shouldn't be so beautiful." she muttered, furrowing her brows before she shrugged and resumed her happy grin. "But you're mine so I guess it's ok."

He very nearly lost his composure at that, but his laugh was swallowed by the force that she yanked him lower to kiss him firmly.

He pulled away slowly, wanting to take the unspoken offer but knowing he shouldn't.

"Alright Granger." he said holding her firmly as she began swaying unsteadily, "As much as I love doing this, I think you've had a bit too much love."

She shook her head, protesting.

"Hermione love." he said softly, "I think you should go to sleep."

She shook her head, dropping it to rest on his chest as she pulled him closer, all the while protesting.

"She really is a lightweight."

He turned his gaze to the approaching red head.

Ginny gave him a small smile in greeting.

"I can take her back to her room."

He nodded gratefully as Ginny came and pulled Hermione off of him.

"Come on 'Mione, let's go to your room."

Hermione turned and looked at him, her eyes wide.

"You're not coming?"

He bit his lip to contain his grin at just how crestfallen she looked.

"In a bit love."

She brightened at that and let Ginny lead her away with no more protests.

He allowed himself a small grin at her antics. He had no doubts by the time he did make it to her room she'd already be out like a light.

He snorted at the thought, noticing then how most of the others were all heading back toward the little cottage and down back to the base.

He wasn't ready to go yet. The fresh air seemed too intoxicating to trade for the confines of an underground prison.

He was practically desperate for some semblance of freedom.

It wasn't long before he was near alone topside except for one lingering person.

Of course, it would be Potter.

He braced himself as the Chosen One came over toward him, leaning against the other side of his tree.

"Well this was surprisingly nice. I mean I'd never thought I'd see the day that we'd all get along."

He resisted the urge to snort.

"Careful Potter. No one's making grand gestures and offers of friendship just yet."

The other grinned but said nothing as silence once more settled between them.

He was just starting to wonder if this so called attempt at civility had a purpose when Harry finally spoke again.

"Do you ever wonder about it? How things would have gone if I'd shook your hand that day? Took your offer of friendship?"

He looked over at Harry. Here he was, with his longtime rival and reluctant ally, reminiscing and playing what if. He needed to be less sober if he was going to get through this.

He bent over and picked up the bottle he'd placed at his feet when Hermione had come over, taking one long swing from it as Harry continued on.

"I mean that's where it began really." Harry said, "You and I. We're two sides of the same coin aren't we? We were either going to be rivals or friends. All or nothing."

"What, like we were fated?" Draco drawled, keeping his tone light.

Harry glared at him, but said nothing.

"Look Potter, trust me when I say that what's done is done and should stay buried in the past where it belongs." He took a breath deciding to test the waters so to speak with his next words. Hermione did want them all to get along after all. "And fate's a bitch, vile and uncaring. I've given up trying to make sense of it."

Harry let out a low chuckle. "Yeah. I suppose it is."

Draco nodded, taking another swing from the firewhiskey before offering it to the other man.

Harry took it and didn't hesitate before tipping the bottle to his lips.

"But," Draco murmured, running a hand through his hair, "You're right. That's where it started, and things could have been different or they could have been exactly the same." He smirked. "Either way. I'm sure our past selves would die at the thought of us now."

Harry laughed, holding the bottle loosely at his side. "They would."

Draco nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. The cool air was finally getting to him through the false warmth from all the alcohol and the waning spell. His legs ached, and the sudden desire to collapse into a bed was overpowering.

"You're not doing too well are you Malfoy?"

Draco blinked and half turned to see him out of the corner of his eye.

"I could say the same for you." He finally said.

Harry nodded. "Noticed that did ya?" Harry said with a good natured smile, "Well, I suppose that makes sense. We've gone all this time picking each other apart for weaknesses. Obvious that we'd do the same now."

Draco shrugged and looked up, forcing himself to look for the constellations he'd learned by heart by the time he was old enough to talk.

"There's a solution to your problem." Draco finally said, "I can't exactly think of the details, but something about it..I recognize."

Harry nodded, not particularly surprised.

"But you don't know much about what to do about you." Harry finally said.

And wasn't that the truth. He didn't know. He was too frightened by looming statistics and knowledge of what exactly could happen if he did decide to own up to the issue and present his case to a healer.

He shoved that aside, opting instead to cling to his dry humor.

He was hardly going to spill all of that to Harry sodding Potter.

"Concerned for me Potter?" He smirked.

Harry shook his head. "We're not friends, barely even allies."

Draco made a sound of agreement.

"But, in Hermione's words you're _hers_."

He snorted, and Potter grinned before continuing.

"And something tells me we're going to need you to help finish this up."

Draco was quiet, because he'd been thinking the same thing many times himself. He could see after the war, but never how it ended. Really, there was only one reason for that.

"You should tell Hermione."

He scoffed, digging his hands deeper into his pockets, openly shivering now.

"I'm serious." Harry grimaced, "As much as it pains me to admit it, the two of you have a good thing, and the longer you hide it from her, the worse it'll be."

"It's none of your business." He growled.

Harry nodded, "It's not, but Hermione is. I love her like my own sister, and I know her." He grimaced again. "She can pull off the impossible for the one's she cares about."

"If, and I mean if, anything happens, she'll..."

"Stop fooling yourself." Harry snorted.

Draco clamped his jaw shut.

"Just tell her Malfoy." Harry said taking one last swing from the firewhiskey before heading back inside.

He fingered the hackle at his arm, itching the skin beneath it that was no doubt already red and raw from how often he picked at it. Binding his magic hadn't been a good idea. He could feel the after effects of it clear as day.

If his body was in disarray before, unable to balance the different bits of magic in him, it was now chaos.

He let out a sigh, clutching his arms close as he moved back inside. If he stayed out any longer, there was a great chance he'd end up a heap on the ground. Besides, he preferred to sleep on a mattress, no matter how lumpy said mattress was.

He stumbled back down to the base, his legs stiff from either cold or fatigue.

He leant heavily against the wall as he went, tired and unsteady with even his vision blurring as he forced himself forward.

Just a little further.

He just had to make it to Hermione's room.

His chest tightened, and he gasped suddenly short of breath. His hand came up to clutch at his side as he weakly felt his knees buckling.

He briefly registered the feeling of something wet dripping near his lips while also tasting rust in his mouth.

It was like his head was so light despite the drumming of his brain against his skull.

The sound of fast footsteps accompanied his fall to the ground as his vision swam before darkening.

It was only to easy for him to slip soundlessly into nothingness the sound of distorted shouting just barely reaching his ears before he succumbed completely.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Hermione moaned as she blinked her eyes open at the heavy pounding that seemed to be coming from the door to her room instead of against the bone of her skull.

Merlin.

She pulled herself up, wincing at the onslaught of dizziness that the motion brought.

This was not going to work.

The pounding continued.

"Just a minute." she managed to croak out before taking her hand and grasping at the hangover potion that was sitting at her bedside.

Had Ginny left that for her?

She swallowed it all quickly, blinking as her vision cleared and her balance seemed to reorient.

She let out a breath before going to the door and opening it.

She blinked in surprise at Harry leaning against her doorway, his hair sticking up in random directions as he fidgeted and only marginally relaxed at the sight of her.

"Oh thank God, Hermione." He said breathlessly, "I was so worried you'd be out cold."

Her eyes widened as Harry began pulling at his hair and stammering his sentences.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I don't...He seemed ok while we were talking and then I left to come back in and he seemed to follow a minute or so later. He… And then he collapsed."

She grabbed Harry by the arms holding him steady, trying to ignore the grip of fear that was tightening her chest and forcing her heart to race.

"Who Harry?" She said softly.

Harry's face crumpled as he opened his mouth, with no sound coming out.

"Merlin and Morgana what are you lot shouting about?"

She turned briefly to Theo who was stepping out from his room just down the hall and walking in their direction. He froze a step away, taking in their positions.

"Oh gods." She heard him mutter before she turned back to Harry, willing herself not to just shake the information out of him.

"It's Draco, Hermione. I found him on the ground having this really bad nose bleed and…."

"Move Harry, talk to me as we walk." She said barely registering more than the words Draco and blood as they all practically raced down the corridor toward the hospital.

"And there was just a lot of blood." Harry stammered, shaking as she led him forward, "Then he started shaking and I only just managed to get him to McGonagall."

"McGonagall?" she asked as they turned and approached the lit hospital wing.

"Healer Warren is away. Ireland or something and she's covering and...Mione I'm so sorry."

She shook her head, dropping her hands from Harry's arms and bolting the rest of the way to the wing. She could hear Theo muttering lowly something about he should have made him go earlier, but barely had time to comprehend as she rushed inside.

She'd barely taken two steps in before her eyes were automatically drawn to Draco's stretched out form.

He was sweating, shaking atop the bed muttering to himself.

She stepped closer and made out dark spots against the pale white hospital drab he'd been changed into.

Blood.

His sleeves had been rolled up and the skin beneath his right wrist looked red and swollen beneath the magical brace.

"Miss Granger. I'm glad you're here. Mr. Potter seemed convinced you could help us in figure out all that is going on with Mr. Malfoy while we wait for Miss Patel."

"I…" She stammered, suddenly feeling that the whole of the Infirmary wasn't enough room for her to breathe.

"Miss Granger." McGonagall said softly, forcing Hermione to look up and meet her former professor straight in the eyes.

"Whatever you know will be most helpful."

Her eyes drifted to Theo who gave her a small nod before he returned his gaze to Draco, growing seemingly paler by the minute. The only motion coming from him was the twisting of the family ring around his finger as he grew lost in thought.

She took a breath and recounted all that she remembered from Padma's first check up of Draco, but as Professor McGonagall continued to press for more information she found herself at a loss for how to respond.

"And what about anything that may have happened before now. Anything that could have lay dormant and only just manifested?' McGonagall pressed.

Harry came close to her, dropping his arm over her shoulders as she shook.

"I...I don't…." she trailed off, "He… He mentioned he'd been very sick way back before Hogwarts but I don't. -"

Draco let out a moan effectively cutting off her words as he jerked in seizure like movements while his muttering grew louder.

"Please. Please stop." he whimpered, "Please no more."

He shook. His one arm reached over, scratching at the one that held the brace at his wrist.

She made out the echo of two sets of footsteps clambering into the room along with Padma's voice as she began talking aloud of all that they needed.

She tore herself out of Harry's grasp and went to the edge of Draco's bed, gasping at the gashes he was making with his nails as he continued to tear at his arm.

"I don't want any more. Please.." His protests grew louder as his desperation increased.

"His core is putting out numbers I've never even…" She heard Padma say behind her.

"What kind of illness did Mr. Malfoy have?" McGonagall suddenly spoke up.

She stammered.

She'd never asked.

Never even tried to broach the subject.

She looked helplessly to Theo who looked like he was seconds away from being sick. At this point he was almost as pale as Draco appeared but for an entirely different reason.

He looked haunted.

"Theo." She called out to him.

He shook his head fixing his gaze on Draco. He seemed panicked, something she herself was beginning to feel as the air around Draco seemed to thicken with his magic as he jerked and attempted to claw at both his arms.

"Please. Please." He murmured, tears glistening down his face as he began to cough blood decorating the sides of his mouth as he continued to hack.

"Miss Patel remove the brace." McGonagall said firmly just an edge of panic in her voice.

Padma looked at the professor with horror, "But…oh Merlin. Shacklebolt."

"Remove it!" The older witch then turned to Theo who was frozen with Greg in a similar state beside him.

 _When had Goyle gotten here? Had he come with Padma?_

"Mr. Malfoy's childhood illness. It was Venenum -"

"Tenebris" Goyle breathed as Theo nodded numbly beside him.

Her former professor paled but nodded as she began moving her wand over Draco as Padma bent over and began working to remove the brace at his side.

Venenum Tenebris

The Dark Infection.

Her eyes widened as she nearly stumbled to the ground as her gut tightened.

The brace broke around his wrist and Padma vanished the offending hackle as she turned to them all.

"I need to ask you all some questions." She said as Draco seemed to stabilize under McGonagall's care.

She nodded, unsure she could manage a much more complex form of communication.

"Has he been fatiguing faster? Any headaches? Breeches in his magic? Outbursts….nosebleeds?"

"Yes."

She turned surprised that it had been Harry who'd been the first to speak.

He shifted uncomfortably at all the attention now directed toward him.

"I...Earlier today with Seamus, I felt and saw him struggle for control and there was the other day while he was arguing with Ron….He had a nosebleed then."

She gaped. How had no one said anything?

 _How had she not noticed?_

"They started earlier." Theo said hoarsely. He cleared his throat, looking near close to tears as he spoke.

"Pansy saw it in London, and she wanted him to go see someone about it.I should have pushed harder yesterday. Oh fuck. I knew I should have and I…" He choked, and suddenly it made sense.

"You knew." She whispered.

Theo jerked his head in her direction not even bothering to mask the bits of guilt tugging at his features.

"You knew or at least suspected that something like this could happen." She said, her voice growing louder as her accusations grew bolder, "You...you should have told me or dragged him here. You know how he is Theo -"

"You know that wouldn't have worked." he said cutting her off, "He was stuck between accepting it himself and wanting some semblance of normal and safe and fuck; who was I to stand in the way of that?"

"You should have." She said now standing barely a foot from her brother, trembling with rage, fear, and just a hint of adrenaline.

"Maybe and maybe not." Theo said his voice louder, "But don't wave all that self-righteousness at me Hermione or act like you even understand."

She recoiled and opened her mouth to protest, but Theo simply continued on his tirade.

"No. I've lived through this. I know this disease Hermione. I've seen it almost kill Draco before. I've seen it kill my mum."

Her eyes stung and suddenly the entire rush of the situation and the war of her emotions broke her composure as a sob shook her.

Theo's expression immediately softened and without even hesitating he drew her up in his arms as she sobbed into his chest.

"No. Theo. No. He can't. I can't lose him. Not again." She broke as Theo's grip around her tightened.

She cried, burying her face even deeper into Theo's chest.

Her control had shattered. And even if she didn't know anything but the bare minimum of this malady she knew some and those glaring facts were playing out in her head in between the bits she'd seen when she'd delved into Narcissa's diary.

Theo was silent as he held her until she felt no more tears threatening to burst from her.

When she finally could peel herself away from the firm embrace of her brother, she found with a start that he'd moved them to sit on a bed further away in the wing to allow McGonagall and Padma room to work.

She sat numbly, with Theo still wrapping an arm around her as they waited for Padma or Professor McGonagall to finish and come speak with them.

In the end it was Padma who came looking exhausted, more than a little worried, and slightly guilty.

"He's stable for now, but we're going to leave him to sleep the rest of the night instead of waking him. Since we might be dealing with a possible relapse of Venenum Tenebris, it would be best for him to get as much rest as possible. Minerva is going to send for Healer Warren, and he should be back by morning."

She nodded before clearing her throat and speaking softly, "I'm staying with him."

To her surprise, Padma merely nodded in acceptance.

"I set up monitoring spells and I'm going to be in the Healer's lounge in the back so I can stay close."

She muttered a thank you as she watched Padma walk toward the back of the Hospital Wing only to be joined by Greg halfway. The sight of their hands linking loosely as they disappeared into the Healer's lounge brought lumps to wedge themselves in her throat.

She turned and walked to Draco's slumbering form, pausing at the foot of the bed.

His skin at his arms still looked red and angry even though the wounds he'd made by digging his nails into his flesh had long been healed.

The rest of him though looked so pale and fragile nestled between the white sheets of the bed.

Without even thinking, she charmed the bed bigger and crawled beneath the covers.

She leaned against the pillows, her hand coming to brush her fingers at his forehead.

"I'm so angry at you." She whispered, "For keeping this a secret, but love-" She choked swinging her other hand around his waist and pulling up closer to him. "Please. Please wake up and get better. Come back to me." She whispered pressing a few kisses between his shoulder blades.

She closed her eyes and heard Theo murmur that he was leaving to go to sleep and that he'd be back in the morning.

She didn't even respond as she heard the footsteps sound and then fade as she was left in the quiet of the wing really only hearing the sounds of Draco's shallow breaths as he slept.

* * *

It seemed like the night was meant to be one of the most restless ones of her life.

He woke her the first time nearly screaming out in agony and muttering like he was possessed words she couldn't understand.

He was dreaming.

An act that was stressful on a normal day, now it was damning.

Padma had shot out of the healer quarters and stared in shock as she tried to calm him.

Based on her face though, Padma had figured it out.

If that wasn't enough, the agitated movements of his body had opened wounds that had been only freshly healed hours before.

They were irritated, inflamed and near infected.

And he was burning up.

"We need to break the fever." Padma murmured before placing her wand on the sheets and charming them cool.

She nodded, unbuttoning Draco's pajama and stripping him of his shirt. Unconsciously, she winced at the numerous silver scas not because she didn't know they were their but rather that she had to unveil their presence to Padma.

Something flashed in the other girl's eyes, but she didn't say anything only once more turning to cast a cooling charm against another thin blanket that she placed on Draco.

She bit her lip watching chills wrack his body and felt something in her chest snapping.

"He's cold." she whispered.

Padma nodded.

"He probably feels that way, but he's too warm for us to put heavy blankets on him."

Padma placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Having you close will probably help." She said softly.

She felt her cheeks flush slightly, but found that she didn't care enough to be truly embarrassed by the insinuation.

Padma's lips quirked upward before she dropped her hand and strode back toward the healer's quarters.

"Padma." She said before she'd even thought to stop herself. She bit her lip, "You and Greg…."

Padma smiled slightly to herself.

"Yeah." She replied softly, twirling her long dark hair with a finger, "But don't worry. He sleeps like the dead. He won't have noticed."

She bit her lip from saying anything to that and instead nodded with a soft smile of her own at her lips before she slipped back beneath the covers and immediately pressed her warm body to Draco's shivering one.

She pressed a kiss to his neck before closing her eyes listening to his breathing that was slowly calming.

Her lips pulled at the sides.

"Sleep love." she murmured before sleep finally pulled her into dreams.

* * *

When she woke next, the day was finally starting. Draco was oddly calm beside her. A quick touch to his forehead showed him warm but not feverish.

A relief really.

She slipped out of bed and reluctantly left the Infirmary in search of a shower and fresh clothes.

Her bag with all her books was firmly in her hands when she returned.

She was going to do what she knew. Research. If anything, it would help calm her to know all the facts.

And she had to be calm.

She had to be calm for him.

Andromeda was at Draco's bedside when she finally made her way back. She looked up briefly at her before turning back to look at Draco.

"Junior Healer Patel tells me we should leave him to wake naturally instead of inducing it magically." Andromeda said softly.

She nodded.

Andromeda looked exhausted and something in her eyes stopped her breath.

"I had to distract Teddy with everything imaginable to keep him from coming here. He truly is attached to him."

"He's so good with him. I'd be surprised if he wasn't attached." Hermione said.

Andromeda smiled wistfully before eyeing her. She tried not to squirm under the older woman's gaze.

Andromeda nodded to herself as though she'd somehow managed to confirm something by simply watching her.

"I've been told since I am his closest family that any decisions are to be passed through me." She began carefully.

Hermione nodded, not particularly surprised at the information. It would have been either her or Luna, and bright as the girl was it would be best to have Andromeda in charge so to speak.

What confused her was why she would mention it.

"You are Draco's intended dear." Andromeda said with a soft smile on her face, "It's your decisions that should matter perhaps more than my own."

She flushed and looked down at Draco finding her hand had rested inches from his own fingers.

"He is so important to me." She said quietly reaching out and brushing her fingers against his. "And I'd rather trust someone who knows more about this. I mean I don't even know how it was the first time."

Andromeda winced, her eyes turning to Draco.

"Narcissa was so terrified."

She looked up quickly. She hadn't expected that.

"She wrote to me to meet and when I showed up, she flung herself into my arms and cried for what seemed like hours."

Andromeda's voice was so low she had to strain herself to hear it.

"She kept blaming herself for...for all of it. And Draco, the poor dear, he didn't really feel the weight of it all until he came into St. Mungo's and they told him he couldn't leave." Andromeda shook her head, "He was already such a small and bony child, and he kept getting sicker and sicker."

She held her breath, so engrossed in Andromeda's tale. She found it heartwarming that Narcissa had reached out to her much earlier than she'd suspected. Some bonds, she supposed, could never truly be broken despite the pressures to do so.

"He scared everyone near the end. Even Lucius halted all business and stayed for days just wandering the hospital like a ghost." Andromeda's eyes glazed over as though remembering it, "Draco was barely conscious that week, and when he was, he was hardly lucid. Narcissa...she seemed to break the further away he seemed to drift. If she'd lost him then...I don't think my sister would have lived long after."

She tore her eyes away from Andromeda and glanced back to Draco.

"He loved her so much too."

Andromeda nodded.

"Most of the time, they truly had only each other." She said thoughtfully before her jaw tightened and her eyes flashed with an unspeakable sort of anger, "Of course, if Lucius had only curbed his ambitions and his narrow mindedness; especially on getting those infusions earlier…" She closed her eyes and took a breath, "But we won't make that same mistake this time."

She said nothing, opting instead to sit back on Draco's bed and part his fridge, swiping the blonde strands to the side.

No. This time they definitely would not be making those kinds of mistakes.

They sat like that, in near silence for quite some time before Andromeda stood and reluctantly left to check on Teddy.

She stood slowly and summoned her bag, rummaging through pulling out a few runes textbooks and after some deliberation the books she had on dark magic.

Her mind quickly grew lost in the world of words, but after she'd taken note on the only two books even relevant to the situation her attention seemed to drift elsewhere.

She found two books in her hands before she even realize what they signified;the alchemy book Draco had tossed into her bag and his Shakespeare book.

She'd just started re-reading Henry V when she heard the softest sound of a body moving against tucked in sheets.

She stood quickly nearly dropping her books before she walked carefully over to the one bed that housed an occupant.

Draco was turning on his side rubbing at his eyes slowly, still in the process of breaking away from sleeps firm grip.

She slipped on beside him, giving him space to move but close enough that she could watch her sleepy boyfriend come back to her.

He blinked his eyes open and a tired sort of grin broke out across his face as he seemed to focus on her.

"Hi" he mumbled, his voice still thick and rough from disuse.

She didn't say anything, and before she could even think to re-evaluate her actions she'd launched closer and began kissing him hungrily.

She'd been starved of him, and so incredibly worried.

His response was slow and still somewhat sleepy, but he seemed quick to wake up completely as she nibbled his lip.

He broke away, gasping for breath, dropping his head to nuzzle his face into her neck. His nose moving softly up and down softly against her skin.

"As great of a wake up this is." he said quietly, "What's going on?"

She pulled away to face him, the tips of her fingertips dancing at his jaw, feeling the thin dirty blonde scruff that had begun to grow from a day of neglect.

"Love." she dropped her voice low, fearing she wouldn't be able to speak if she attempted to be any louder, "Harry found you unconscious in the hallway having some sort of seizure."

Draco paled, pulling himself up into a seated position with his knees bent and brought up to his chest.

"Oh gods." He mumbled, burying his face in his hands.

She let out a shaky breath.

"Draco...they...Padma and Professor McGonagall, think you might be sick the same way you were before." She said carefully.

Draco dropped his hands, not particularly shocked at her words.

"How" he cleared his throat, "How long have I been out?"

"A day." she breathed before hardening and slapped him against his arm.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you felt so terrible. I...Do you have any idea how scared I was and poor Teddy has been bugging Andromeda wondering why you're out cold." Her chin trembled as she felt tears sting the corners of her eyes.

She shut them tight, focusing simply on taking in long and deep breaths.

She felt his arms circle around her as he positioned her between his legs, dropping his chin to rest on her shoulders from behind.

"I'm sorry love. I'm really sorry." he whispered.

She gripped his arms tight.

"I was just really scared myself." He admitted quietly.

She blinked and turned her head to the side to meet his stormy gaze.

"I know Gods, I do…" She said, "Just never again."

He bit his lip before nodding.

She let out a breath before pecking him lightly and relaxing into his firm embrace.

They stayed like that huddled together as a peace tentatively settled between them until Padma broke their temporary peace with a grin threatening to break across her face as she took in Draco awake and alert.

"Well welcome back Draco." She said.

Hermione blushed, starting to move to extract herself from Draco's arms, but if anything his grip tightened.

Padma didn't even blink at their position before she crossed her arms and stared Draco down.

"I suppose I got you into the hospital wing after all." She said dryly.

"I expected nothing less." Draco said flatly before sighing. "So...what's the verdict?"

Padma hesitated a second before speaking.

"Venenum Tenebris." She began, "Which based on what Theo has said, you already knew."

Draco nodded, loosening his grip to allow her to re-position herself beside him.

He rubbed his eyes before he seemed to notice the absence of the magical brace on his wrist.

"Right." He said tracing the irritated skin.

Padma met her gaze for a moment before focusing back on Draco.

"I need to build a medical history for you, so I'm going to ask you a few questions."

Draco nodded, not lifting his head from where he was staring down at the skin of his arm.

"When they treated you the first time…"

"Infusions." He said breaking her question, "I got multiple magical infusions from Luna and a few potions that were still considered experimental at the time."

Padma frowned.

"You didn't undergo a cleanse?"

Draco shook his head.

"It was still a spotty procedure and my...my parents didn't want to risk it until last minute and by that time I was already showing some signs of improvement so they left it alone."

Padma looked a mixture of confused and concerned.

"Just when were you sick?"

"Diagnosed a few months after turning 9." he said shifting uncomfortably.

"But it started earlier, didn't it?"

He nodded.

"The healers at the time suspected I'd always had it, and it was just triggered at that time."

He looked up and met Padma's expression. He winced before continuing.

"They thought it might have been something I had at birth. It was always manifesting itself somehow. My growth was delayed. I couldn't gain weight, and no matter how much I ate I was always deficient. When I got sick for any reason, I would always get really sick…" he trailed off before clenching his jaw and continuing. "My magical outbursts were so frequent and after a while dangerous that my father forced me into lessons to help control them."

She reached over and gripped his hand tightly.

Padma shook her head, her brows furrowed as she seemed to mull over all that Draco had said.

After a moment, with a frown in her face, she spoke.

"If you had it at birth, that would mean-"

"My very birth was induced because of an argument turned duel. I think that alone gives you a clue for what kind of environment my mother was in while pregnant." Draco said sharply.

Padma looked horrified. Frankly, she wasn't the only one. Hermione felt sick at the thought that Narcissa had essentially been attacked whilst pregnant with dark magic. Draco had said it had been a difficult pregnancy and birth, but it seemed she was only now realizing how true that was.

Padma schooled her features into a professionally blank face.

"I think that's all I need to ask you about now." she said quietly, "I think I'm going to keep you a bit to just run some tests and start the potions. It'll give us time to decide if you want to do the cleanse with infusions, but regardless we'll need to start infusions as soon as tomorrow."

Draco paled, but nodded without so much as protesting.

"Hermione." he said looking at her, "You don't have to wait. I'll meet up with you after Padma is done."

She opened her mouth to protest, but seeing his face she thought better of it.

"Ok." she said softly pressing a kiss to his temple. "I'll see you soon."

* * *

Draco watched her go, and turned back to Padma when he could no longer hear the soft sound of her footsteps.

"My odds aren't good are they?" he said lowly.

Padma looked pained.

"They aren't great, but not impossible."

He nodded, having already known that was probably already the case.

"But Draco." Padma said with a determined expression on her face, "You have no reason to lose hope."

He smirked slightly and bent his head on a small nod.

She returned the gesture before beginning her series of tests.

He tried to keep himself from fidgeting, but he was suddenly so exhausted he felt he would surely fall asleep if he didn't move at all.

Eventually Padma seemed to take pity on him, letting him doze off for a while with strict orders to eat well after he woke.

She was certainly something else. He'd never paid he rich mind in school, but she was rapidly becoming a close ally...a friend.

A strange occurrence when it came to him to be sure.

He didn't sleep long about half an hour, but it was enough to make him feel substantially more awake.

But not less achy.

He stiffly managed to climb out of bed and somehow shower all his fever induced sweat off him before throwing in the first articles of clothing in his reach.

Though, it went against everything he'd been raised to do.

His mother would have probably had a fit if she saw him with mismatched socks, much less leaving the confines of his room in a less than perfect image.

And he was doing both.

It bothered him too, though at the moment he couldn't bring himself to care.

He was just turning into the hall when he was nearly tackled by a person with a shock of black hair.

He gasped, staggering under the weight.

"Pans."

Pansy hugged him tighter.

"Oh thank gods." she muttered against his chest before withdrawing and smacking the same spot her head had just been laying on previously.

He winced, resisting the urge to double over at what had obviously not been meant to hurt him.

He was already so weak.

"You are so stubborn sometimes it borders on stupid." She hissed, "I can't believe you let it get so bad you collapsed. For fucks sake Draco."

She glared up at him and for a second he saw tears start to form in her eyes before she scowled.

"I know Pans. I'm sorry, but-" His voice cracked, "But I'm so fucking terrified. I almost died from this once." He let his gaze drop to the floor, studying it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

He could be like this with Pansy.

She'd seen him lower than low before and never used it against him.

"Oh Dray." Pansy muttered, wrapping her arms gently around him. He blinked furiously before burying his face in her hair.

"When did you get here?" He cleared his throat, unable to bring himself to pull away from Pansy's embrace yet.

"She came with me."

He lifted his head, blinking back the threatening moisture from his eyes before he took in both Theo and Blaise

"You sure know how to kick up a fuss, don't you mate?" Blaise said with a weak smirk on his face.

He shrugged, wiggling out of Pansy's embrace.

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh you know me. I live for creating chaos."

"Well if we're being fair, it wasn't just you this time." Theo interjected with a small smile.

They all chuckled lowly before letting the air fill with tense silence once more.

Pansy snaked her arm around his waist and after a moment she cleared her throat to speak.

"What have the healers said?" She whispered.

He shook his head.

"You know it's not good Pans. Getting this once is rare and terrible, twice is…"

Her grip tightened.

"We're all here for you mate." Blaise said and Theo was quick to nod at the other's words.

"I know." He said flashing them all his first genuine smile. "Thank you." He said softly letting Pansy lead him into the hall.

She seemed fully prepared to force food in his despite his protests.

For once, the thought filled him with warmth.

* * *

Hermione sat at the edge of her seat, impatiently waiting for Draco.

She hadn't wanted to leave him, but she had only to give him the privacy he so desperately wanted in order to speak with Padma.

When he finally did appear, it was with Pansy, Blaise, and her brother surrounding him almost protectively as they walked.

He looked haggard, though his eyes were bright and alert.

She noted, with some amount of dismay, that he hadn't bothered to properly dress himself as he normally would. A testament in and of itself for how he felt. Though the thick sweater he was wearing in spite of the relatively pleasant temperature would have been enough to clue her in had the rest not been enough.

Though, even now at his worst, he still looked relatively put together.

She'd said it before, and even if she'd been more than tipsy at the time, it didn't make it less true.

It wasn't right for a boy to be so beautiful.

It wasn't right for a boy to be so breathtakingly broken.

He slipped in beside her, tiredly dropping his head to rest on her shoulder.

She smiled slightly.

"Are you going to actually eat or just sleep on my bony shoulder?"

He shook his head against her skin.

"Sleep." he muttered with just a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Eating."

Draco lifted his head and huffed at the sight of Pansy, who'd been joined by Andromeda. The two of them were staring him down with a challenging sort of expression.

"Don't huff Draco." Andromeda chided setting a full plate before him, "Just because you're named after a dragon doesn't mean you have to act like one."

Draco flushed, and she heard a series of low laughs sound around their table.

"I'm not huffing." he muttered, and she resisted the urge to laugh along with the rest of them at his obvious flustered state. It made them all seem so young.

"Of course not dear." Andromeda said patiently, patting him lightly on the shoulder before instructing him on the benefits of each dish she'd chosen for him.

Draco shook his head and flashed her a wink before pretending to be engrossed with all his aunt was telling him.

Her breath stopped at the mirth in his eyes.

He never ceased to amaze her really.

It wasn't long before her own fear and uneasiness melted away at the happy atmosphere Andromeda and the rest of the Slytherins were attempting to create.

The sight of Draco's half smile, which never strayed from his lips despite how tired he looked, made hope flare in her chest.

He would be fine, because he would fight, and Draco was for sure one of the fiercest fighters she knew.


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: At tilly90, thank you so much for your lovely review and for following me over from Family Ties! It's pretty amazing when someone likes what you've written so much they decide to see what else you've done. Thanks for all those that left a review. I love getting them, and as always the more the better! So Review and Reveiw and Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Venenum Tenebris was a foul disease.

It ravaged the body, turning each cell into something malignant fueled by the dark magic that had been introduced and festering inside the host.

The similarities to muggle cancer left her with a better understanding of it, but experiencing...that was another thing entirely.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair at all, and it hadn't really hit her until she'd woken up the night before to Draco retching in the loo at 3am as though his very stomach was trying to purge all the darkness mentally and physically out of his body.

It had seemed so relatively contained in it's own separate sphere before then.

He'd go in every two days for a transfusion, at which point his immune system would be completely repressed before he was given the infusions and left to sleep through the process.

Draco had even managed a way to avoid staying in the hospital wing the recommended two days following the procedure by promising Padma that he would actually remain resting in their room. In fact, most of the time he'd feel well by the end of day 1 and would be back on his feet researching in his alchemy book and having meetings with Kingsley.

So in all, it had felt like nothing had truly changed.

That had been fundamentally shaken by the events of the night before.

She sighed, stroking his hair. Draco let out a puff of air softly against her palm in content as he nestled deeper into his pillow.

He was snoring softly, a result of the slight cold he'd gotten following his last transfusion that he still hadn't managed to shake.

Padma wanted him as well as possible before he underwent the cleanse procedure.

It was actually a clever idea to repress a patient magically and immunologically and drain them of the magic before offering them infusions. The spells alone had been fascinating.

Though, to imagine Draco having to go through it made her stomach churn.

Perhaps he had been sheltering her from his discomfort this entire time, but regardless she didn't want him to suffer more than that.

And he would suffer under a cleanse regardless of the benefits it would offer.

She let out a breath and continued watching him just sleep peacefully.

She really should join him. It was still obscenely early into the new day, and they all needed their rest.

She shut her eyes unsure how she would manage to sleep when she heard the faintest sound of voices outside her room door.

With a barely suppressed groan, she pulled herself up and propped open the door to stick her head out into the hall.

Harry was walking the hall with Teddy holding his hand arguing quietly.

"Teddy. They're sleeping. We shouldn't…"

"Please. I want to see Draco. I need Draco." Teddy said, tugging on Harry's arm and looking near tears.

Hermione resisted the urge to smile at the obvious love Teddy had for his older cousin.

"Harry." She whispered, waving him over.

He shot her a grateful look and Teddy quieted seeing her. The little toddler broke from Harry and bolted toward her, wrapping his tiny arms around her legs.

"I wanna see Draco." He mumbled against her.

She stroked his hair.

"I know love, but he's sleeping now." She murmured.

Harry shot her a look as though warning her from divulging too much about Draco and why he needed rest.

She nearly rolled her eyes at his antics, but at the same time felt warmed by his concern over Teddy.

"He woke up from a nightmare and really wanted Draco. I tried to walk him a bit, take some stress from Dromeda and hopefully tire him out." Harry said softly to her as she rocked Teddy slightly from where he stood against legs.

"I know. I'd wake him, but he only just fell a-"

"'Mione…"

She turned slightly to look into their room, noticing Draco upright on the bed and rubbing at his eyes.

She winced unhappy that they'd woken him up.

He dragged himself over to them, blinking as he became more alert as he came to the doorway.

He glanced down at Teddy and without a word, picked him up and turned back into the room.

"We'll take him Potter." Draco mumbled over his shoulder before falling on the bed with Teddy automatically curling into his side.

She sighed and turned to Harry, who simply shook his head and bid them all goodnight. Though, before he disappeared down the hall, she could have sworn she saw his face twist into the semblance of a smile.

"Come back to bed Hermione." Draco muttered, patting on the mattress as Teddy cuddled closer to him.

She laughed softly at the sight of them both looking so alike with Teddy's hair morphed to match.

She slipped in behind Draco, throwing an arm around his waist as she let her head rest between the blades of his shoulders.

"You're such a softie." She mumbled feeling her eyes dropping at the surrounding warmth and her body's demand for rest.

His low chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation." He murmured, his words slurring as his breathing evened out signaling his easy descent into dreamland.

"Hmm. Never." She murmured, only too quick to join him.

* * *

Draco woke to the sensation of a firm but tiny body pressed to his middle and the feeling of cool sheets behind him.

He stretched slightly, blinking his eyes open as he took in Teddy, who was half sprawled on top of him. He grinned slightly taking in the way his cousin's hair was coming out in every which direction as he smiled contently and slumbered on.

Carefully, he pulled Teddy off of him, repositioning him to sleep comfortably on the mattress as he slowly got up.

He was stiff.

He felt heavy in a way that went beyond tiredness. His muscles didn't want to move. His bones protested the weight he pressed on them to stand.

Then there was his stomach that was operating in various states of rebellion.

He'd forgotten about the nausea.

The first time, it had been crippling. He'd dropped so much weight so fast. Weight he couldn't afford to lose starting out as a more thinner child than was normal. It had been dangerous and part of the reason that his strength hadn't come back soon after he was on the mend.

He'd tried to be better about it this time, eating when he could while also avoiding taking another potion to simply suppress the nausea.

He was already on so many he felt that most of him now must be pure chemical; ensuring his heart beat steadily as he got nutrients and starved off the pain that was already beginning to grasp him from the inside out.

Though, today would be a relatively good day if all he had to deal with was the nausea and minor aches.

He was about to head into the loo for a shower when the door to the room eased open allowing his aunt to stride in slowly. She stopped near the doorway seeing him up and awake.

She flashed him a thin smile.

"Morning." He said with a voice that was still too rough to be well understood.

She murmured her own in return, walking the rest of the way toward him.

"I'm sorry about Teddy. The poor dear just wouldn't rest." She said softly taking a hand and running it through his hair and then cupping his jaw.

He gave her a weak smile.

"It was nothing. He fell asleep almost immediately."

She nodded, her long fingers touching the bruises beneath his eyes.

"You don't look too good darling." She said dropping her hand from his face and rubbing his shoulder in a rather comforting manner.

"How is today?"

He shrugged slightly.

"Ok. At least I didn't wake up and immediately rush to the loo to be sick."

"Draco." She said in a tone that indicated a need for the truth and only the truth.

He crossed his arms, pressing them tight to his chest as his gaze dropped to the floor.

"It's just…" he cleared his throat, "I keep thinking about...about before, and how I had my parents. But now...and I guess even if Lucius was here it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't be the same as even just having her."

Something flashed in Andromeda's eyes. Something that reminded him of guilt.

"Your father...he cares for you Draco. In his own way, he always has. And far be it me to defend him, but I can understand how the ways we are raised harden us. If we aren't touched in some way...to soften us, we don't learn to show all that we mean."

He said nothing for a moment.

"I dreamt of her you know, about Mum, and I...I don't know. Maybe I'm going mad from all the things going on in my head."

Andromeda looked sharply at him.

"What did you dream?"

He bit his lip, shifting his weight on his feet.

"I think I dreamt of the veil."

He watched his aunt carefully, for some sign or reaction. Aside from the flash of that thing that seemed like guilt, he saw nothing.

Though if he could gage anything else from her demeanor, he'd say she seemed more worried than anything.

"I'm sure it was not what you seem to think it was." She said softly, running her hand back through his fringe in a manner reminiscent of Narcissa, "Some things reveal themselves to us in their own time. Be patient." She pressed a kiss to his temple.

He nodded.

He let out a breath before he spoke.

"But I do feel relatively good today. I might try to research some more. Maybe I'll hold another lesson."

Andromeda smiled brightly at him.

It was a good sign, he supposed, that he was wanting to actually pursue some sort of activity instead of sleep.

Though, some of it was less about want than need.

He'd probably actually go mad if he did nothing, and Shacklebolt was hardly advocating for him to do nothing either.

His meetings with the man had led to new plans being drawn up for several attacks on satellite camps. They'd also given Shacklebolt an opportunity to request he teach (when he felt well enough) spells to help pull the Order's fighters into shape.

He'd been rather strict so far with whom he admitted into his short classes that were reminiscent of Hogwarts DADA.

The Order may have gained members, but they were inexperienced, ill-prepared, and, in some cases, ignorant of what they could potentially experience in battle.

In truth, he'd suggested the higher ranking Order officers take up the mantle and teach something more than just basic defence before they sent their poor excuse for fighters to him or even Theo.

Potter may have to be healed and prepared to defeat the Dark Lord, but it didn't mean the war would end with the fall of the dictator.

Andromeda kept the smile on her face as she turned from him and scooped Teddy up into her arms.

"That's great dear. I'll leave you to dress, and I'll see you at breakfast with everyone else. In fact, I'm sure most are already there. I know I saw Hermione headed that way while I was coming over."

He smiled at the mention of Hermione, and his aunt shot him a knowing one in return at the sight.

Andromeda pecked him once more on the cheek before shifting a still sleeping Teddy in her arms and leaving him alone, wondering why she had looked guilty along with the other things he had to worry about.

He may not feel incredibly drained today, but with everything going on inside his head, he was already developing a headache.

* * *

Hermione hummed to herself, scanning the few sheets of notes she'd brought with her before she stowed them away the entrance to the eating hall.

Her research was at a stand still.

She'd finished her translations and was now sure without a doubt that Voldemort had become transfixed with the idea of turning magic from bound to wild.

What she couldn't be sure about was whether he had done it.

Draco.

It all came back to Draco.

He'd been in the Inner Circle. He had to have some idea, more than Theo or Pansy would at any rate.

She just couldn't bring herself to push the subject, even though he seemed to be a man obsessed when he felt well enough to research on his own.

It came down to guilt, she supposed.

He had given so much. From the very beginning, all those years ago, he'd begun giving up these pieces of himself as his own dreams forced him to change and risk his family, his friends, and his own life in order to do as he was beginning to see was right.

Where was the line though?

His own mother was cold in the earth, and in truth, she wouldn't have blamed him if he'd simply given up and fled following that.

He hadn't though.

Maybe that came down to all those he still had left or what he saw and still didn't say.

It made her heart ache to think that, to him, he still hadn't done enough to balance out all he'd done in the past.

She was proud of him, for all he'd done to tear down who he'd been to who he'd become.

On some level, he had to know that.

She let out a breath, her hand idly going to the pieces of parchment that were shrunk and now safely in her pocket.

She stepped into the hall and froze in shock at the sight of two members of her usual table.

It really shouldn't be so shocking after everything she had seen in her short two decades, but it was enough to make her head spin.

Luna was sitting, leaning rather heavily with her lips engaged in a rather bruising kiss with the figure to her side.

Blaise.

"I'd close my mouth before you catch dragonflies sister dearest." Theo said coming up beside her and playfully tapping her chin.

She whirled to her brother and searched him for any signs of shock at the sight. Her jaw clamped shut when she found none.

"I just. When did that happen?" She said in a hushed whisper as Theo smirked and crossed his arm through hers, leading them both to the table.

"Believe me. I was shocked too. I mean Blaise never seemed like the monogamous type."

She said nothing as she dumbly fell into a chair before the couple with Theo claiming the seat to her right.

Luna tore herself from Blaise, not looking the least bit flustered at their presence.

"Good Morning Hermione." She greeted.

She opened her mouth to return the greeting only to find that no sound came forth.

Blaise looked at her knowingly as he covered his mouth and snickered quietly at her speechlessness.

"When did this happen?" She blurted before flushing at her outburst.

Luna's smiled didn't fade as she regarded her.

"Blaise was friends with Draco." She said simply as though that were explanation enough.

Blaise cleared his throat, though the amusement was still clear in his face.

"Luna, I think Granger means how we got together."

The blonde tilted her head regarding Hermione intently.

"That was rather recent. We started out friends though sometime in that last year at Hogwarts." Luna's face pinched slightly in pain at the end of statement, and Hermione couldn't help but contemplate if it was because of all the memories associated with that time as well as the fear she must have felt for her family, Draco included.

Her opportunity to ask more about the subject passed as their table filled.

First Harry offered everyone a good morning before falling into a seat beside Luna.

While that might have been more than enough to shock her one more, the true shock came when Ron joined them all not a few minutes later.

She regarded her two oldest friends with a mixture of awe and pride.

This was more than just an attempt at half-hearted civility. This was an olive branch.

Ron met her gaze then with a brow raised.

"What?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but another voice spoke before she could even form a syllable.

"She's shocked to see you amongst so many snakes Weasley."

She turned and met Pansy's smirking face. She winked at her before turning to face Ron, waiting for his reaction.

Ron stared at Pansy for a moment, his jaw slack as he blinked twice.

"Bloody hell Parkinson?"

Pansy's smirk widened.

"The one and only."

Ron continued to gape as he floundered about for something to say.

She laughed at the sight.

It was so blissfully refreshing.

Normal really.

Ron and his inability to speak around a girl.

And Pansy was most certainly a girl, one he hadn't seen in years and had changed all for the better in all that time.

Pansy turned to her with a wicked sort of grin on her face.

"He's not always like this is he? Brain dead and tongue tied?"

She returned the grin.

"Sadly yes." She said flashing a teasing smile to her reddening friend.

"Hey." Ron exclaimed forcing them both to dissolve in laughter.

She gasped for breath before sharing a look with Pansy and digging into the breakfast that had appeared on the table.

* * *

She ate surrounded by a surprisingly pleasant atmosphere.

It made them quite a sight and topic for gossip, all the intermingling between what had traditionally been seen as enemy camps.

Her eyes drifted to the odd assortment of people and subsequently couples, her mouth twitching into a smile as she took it in. It brought the memory of her former Headmaster to mind. She may not have always agreed with the man, but she had agreed with him on this...this possibility that had become reality.

Her gaze drifted to Harry, who seemed to have a similar war of emotions playing out on his face.

He'd seemed troubled lately.

It had been subtle at first, some time after he came up on Draco collapsed on the floor. She'd barely been in the state of mind to do more than notice it, but now it pulled at her mind and forced the cogs to turn in her head.

His behavior had been odd for him. Especially, it seemed, during the rare but extremely valuable classes Draco taught at Kingsley's insistence when he felt well. Harry was normally so good about DADA, picking up spells, demonstrating them, and helping others with their wand work. Now though, he barely stayed long enough to learn it for himself before disappearing.

Unlike him.

And frankly something about the way his magic worked now, how his spells seemed almost flimsy to her…

It scared her to think about, but she vowed she'd confront him about it soon. With Draco seemingly stable for the time being, her mind was slowly coming back to her as her fears and anxiety calmed.

Speaking of…

Her eyes drifted to the figure walking carefully toward their table, his head firmly in his book with two more floating easily next to him.

She was caught between smiling fondly at the sight or frowning at his display of wandless magic.

He really shouldn't be expending much of it, even if his body was currently overflowing with it as it went between high and low outbursts of his core.

In the end, a smile won out as he displayed rather familiar behavior that was reminiscent of her, sitting beside her without looking up from his book.

She lent over and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Morning Bookworm." she said lightly.

Draco looked up, blinking a few times as he seemed to adjust to the sight before him.

"Morning." He murmured, his voice slightly scratchy.

"You're displaying some very Hermione like behavior." She teased as she combed her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, taking him in.

He looked better, if only marginally. The previous sickness he'd had through the night seemingly hidden from his face.

He still looked haggard; exhausted to the point that it seemed entwined in him.

"Well Draco was the swot of Slytherin, closeted as it may have been." Theo quipped up.

Draco shot him a withering glare to which Theo only smirked.

"I was not just some swot. You don't take over a whole House with just intellect." He sniffed, though the faint glimmer in his eye told her that he was simply playing along with Theo.

It was a good sign.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself mate." Blaise said flashing her a wink as he openly grinned at Draco's scowl.

"And you wankers say you're my friends." He muttered, wincing slightly as his hand came up to massage his throat.

She regarded the gesture sharply, which he seemed to purposefully ignore as he reached for a cup and poured himself some tea, his eyes flickering back to the pages of his book.

"Draco." She said turning her seat to face him fully and dropping her voice low. "Look at me love."

He sighed lowly before meeting her gaze.

"How's today?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, seamlessly pulling on a blank expression.

"Fine."

She bit her lip.

"You know you can tell me the truth...If you're feeling out of sorts or particularly bad."

His gaze softened as he let out a breath.

'I know. It's nothing, truly. My throat kind of hurts, but the rest is about as good as it can be."

"Alright." She said somewhat appeased by his answer, but worried nonetheless.

He smiled slightly nudging her playfully with his shoulder.

"It's fine Hermione." He said studying her face, "I think I might need to talk to Patel about switching up my potions. I don't think some are working. Probably something to do with my blood…" He trailed off as his mind seemed to get lost in his thoughts.

"Oh?" She asked, reaching over and beginning to fill his plate with various foods.

He glanced at the plate with slight distaste...before looking up at her.

"Hmm. Yeah. The Malfoys have old enchantments in their blood...different abilities." he gave her a meaningful look, "And different types of magic. I remember something about dragon blood tossed in there somewhere too."

"Really?" Her mind instantly attracted to the interesting information.

He shrugged.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't know." he said with a thin smile, "They weren't all bad I suppose, my ancestors. They were innovative at the very least."

His eyes clouded over in some unnamable emotion; though, he kept the smile pasted on his face.

She cleared her throat, hoping to somehow change the topic and banish the beginnings of dark thoughts from entering his head.

Her eyes dropped to the book before him.

A new alchemy text.

"What's this?" she asked then.

He straightened, a spark lighting up in his eyes.

"Oh it's a book I pulled that was referenced in that first one. It goes on about the first characterization of magic and how it was first studied in runes."

His face relaxed as he seemed to brighten.

It was such a transformation really into an eager, nearly innocent boy, who was both curious and passionate about all that he was saying.

"It was referenced in those parchments that you were looking at." He continued, "But it also get's down to the fundamentals of magic as an entity independent of influence."

Her brow rose, the academic in her pulled to the surface by all Draco was saying.

"But how can magic simply be independent of influence. It exists in a way that it is influenced. By need. By wizard…" She trailed off, "Magic is controlled. Even around us it is bound by physical and energetic constraints."

He shook his head.

"No. You're thinking about magic like a muggle." He flushed then, looking down at the table seemingly horrified at what he'd said and perhaps implicated by saying it. It was rather endearing really, the way it spread even to parts of his neck and the tips of his ears.

He was so busy in his mortification that he didn't seem to realize that she wasn't insulted.

"Draco." She fought to keep the smile off her face as she spoke, "It's fine. Just continue with your explanation."

He looked up quickly to study her face before dropping his gaze, still somewhat embarrassed.

He gave a thin smile before gazing up at her through his fringe.

"Sorry. I just…know a lot about this." He said looking down at the book with the smile still on his face.

She kissed his cheek.

He was adorable like this. It was rare that she saw it, but Draco truly was as much of a nerd as she was.

"So teach me."

He laughed softly.

"Ok." He murmured, flipping the book to a particular chapter.

"Magic exists beyond intent. It is truly comparable to a living thing. It's dynamic. The difference is when something else exerts its intent on it. Essentially, that's what binding is. It can happen naturally, like in magical organisms; plants, animals, or other species." He said flipping the page again, "Or it can happen through spell work, which is the more difficult for obvious reasons. In fact, spell work was virtually nonexistent until the early beginnings of civilizations. Before than, magic was done by magical beings in a way that resembles wandless magic. Everything was done through a projection of intent while simultaneously fueling it with magic."

She nodded absently as her eyes skimmed the page.

"Why then the evolution of wands?" She said.

Draco scratched the back of his neck before reluctantly taking a bite from one of the waffles she'd piled onto his plate.

"Because just because it was common, didn't mean it was easy. Skill with that kind of magic was dependent on will, magical core strength, and control amongst other things. Not many had an aptitude for it, and those who didn't…" His brows furrowed, "Magic needs an outlet. You can't sit on magic and not use it at all. It does things to your body as it rebels at the inactivity. It-" His voice dropped slightly, "It made people sick not being able to effectively exercise their magic."

His hand went to cup around his right wrist that was still healing from the damage done by the magical brace.

He absently rubbed at the skin as his face morphed into a thoughtful expression.

"But if you go one way, you must be able to go the other." He murmured to himself.

She stiffened at the thought.

"So you can bind and unwind."

He paled slightly.

"From a spell to even the core of another individual." he said before looking up at her quickly.

"Oh Merlin. I know what he's done."


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: All good things to those who wait! I hope this update proves that to be true. As always, Review! Review! Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

The look on Draco's face nearly stopped her heart.

He seemed moments away from being sick at the speed at which she could practically see the cogs in his head working.

He knew.

He knew what it was.

And suddenly her own errant thoughts along these lines seemed all the more plausible.

Perhaps Draco wasn't the only one about to lose the paltry breakfast they'd just had.

"Not here." He murmured looking away from her before his eyes grew foggy.

She watched him with concern as he shut his eyes and seemed to focus on finding a rhythm to breathe.

It didn't seem to be working from the way his fists clenched beneath the table.

She moved her hand beneath the table and gently covered it over his.

"Draco?" She whispered looking around the table noticing only Theo and Harry were paying them any attention.

Theo had a questioning look on his face and she knew without a doubt that he was aware that things weren't quite right.

Harry.

Harry was sharply studying them in between keeping conversation with Ron.

What an interesting combination they made.

Draco's breath hitched as he opened his eyes, alert once more as they settled on her.

"Not here Hermione." He said breathlessly, "Please not here. I have to go."

Her eyes widened, and without a word she stood and gave him time to do the same before wedging her shoulder beneath his arm and pulling him towards her.

He sagged slightly, but remained relatively upright as she walked them out of the hall drawing some attention at their quick escape.

She hardly cared what they thought. It honestly made her more angry than anything else.

They'd been here for days bordering weeks, and still the novelty of having what were once high ranking members of the enemy camp amongst them still hadn't faded.

Neither had some of their own misplaced hurt and hatred for Theo and mostly Draco.

It hadn't actually occurred to her until she'd been walking down to the small reference archives on base and passed two girls gossiping in the corner and it had all suddenly been all to clear to see.

They thought her mad for staying so close to him...being so close to him at all really. They couldn't understand how she, Hermione Granger, could somehow lose all sense to take up with a Death Eater.

Even one who was a turncoat.

A fact still much debated amongst them.

The one girl had merely shook her head with pity that Hermione caught from where she was huddled against the curve of the wall listening in.

 _I'm not sure I could be so compassionate. It's just an act really, offering him comfort until he kicks the bucket. He's obviously not doing too well so it won't be long now._

The other had snorted declaring it all to be fate before they'd drifted further away and she could no longer strain to make out what they were saying.

She'd felt ill, angry, and seconds away from taking off after the two and hexing them until they saw stars.

But she hadn't.

A soft hand had curled around her arm and held her in place.

Luna.

Her pale blue eyes had been clear, calm, and knowing.

' _There's always going to be someone. Who thinks he is less. Someone who will use him to bear all the blame. He's always going to be seen as the villain.'_ Luna had said.

 _Can you live with that? Will you always defend him?_

The question didn't have to be asked for her to know the answer.

Always.

She straightened her shoulders as she ignored the last of the looks and they made it out into the surrounding corridor making toward her room.

It wasn't long before they were there and Draco broke away from her, stumbling before he began pacing and muttering to himself.

"Draco."

He didn't turn and her chest tightened at the level of tension that was beginning to build in the room.

Whether it was from magic, anxiety, or simply fear she couldn't be sure, but all of them were surely represented.

She strode over and caught Draco's face with her hands, cupping his jaw and willing him to meet her eyes.

"Talk to me love."

Or she may very well die from heart failure because of all the stress this situation was causing.

"I… I can't. They have to know. If I'm right...they have to know." He said.

She shook her head.

"We'll call a meeting later, but now...right here. Draco just talk to me."

He let out a sigh, shaking against her.

One of his hands came up to cover her's and he squeezed it before pulling away and rubbing his temples.

"He was researching blocks in that year before...it's not exactly unbinding, but the principle is the same. You force a disconnect and the magic can't morph according to command."

Her heart pounded and unbidden her mind conjured up an image forcing the words out of her mouth before she could fully comprehend them.

"Harry. Could he…"

Draco looked pained, wincing before he dropped his chin in a small nod.

"It's what he must have done to Potter, but he...he has to have figured out how to...do it for real. all the way. It's why he guarded the parchments. And there was talk last year while I was out that he disappeared with a few recruits and they never…"

Draco heaved, his breaths panting as he trembled where he stood.

Something in his eyes told her he was being pulled away to somewhere else, but he shouldn't...couldn't afford the stress of a vision now.

"So we're fucked." He muttered, tugging at his hair.

"Even if we can reverse Potter's problem, the minute we meet him in battle he can do it again. Form an entire boundary that would disrupt our cores and leave us defenseless."

"Unless we do it too."

His eyes snapped up to hers.

He was already drifting, and this time she wasn't quick enough to draw him back out before he fell.

His hands went up to cover his ears and fist through his hair as he fell to a crouch on his knees. He'd retreated into his own head, and it was hard to find a way to get him out of it now.

He shook, his body barely holding his weight on his knees as he rocked back and forth hunched over his body.

Hesitantly, she came forward, deeply frightened that the wrong move or a stray word could suddenly make this situation more dire.

"Draco?" She called out softly.

He gasped, his eyes shutting briefly before opening with little drops of moisture clinging to the edges.

"Please." He murmured, not focusing on her, "Please no more. I don't want to see anymore."

"Draco."

She crouched down to level with him and nearly fell over at the sob that shook him.

"No. No." He said, his voice edged higher and his eyes shutting once more as tears began to streak down his face.

"Please stop." He whimpered.

She murmured calming words as she slowly reached out to touch his hands. The minute her fingers brushed his skin, he jerked and cried out in pain.

Immediately, she withdrew.

"Draco." She managed to say against the lump wedged in her throat, "Please come back love. Please look at me."

Draco didn't seem to hear her. He was too lost...too far gone to hear much of anything.

"What do you want from me? I can't. I can't do it."

Again, she tried to reach out to comfort him, somehow physically pull him back to her, but she met with the same response.

Draco shrieked, falling back and drawing his knees up and curling into himself.

"Make it stop." He sobbed pitifully as his tears continued to fall and…

Oh Merlin.

He was bleeding now; a long thin line from his nose dripping over his lip.

He coughed, burying his head into the little ball he'd made of his body.

She stumbled to her feet, summoning her wand to send a Patronus when the door to her room opened and Theo came in with Harry and Padma, who immediately joined her beside Draco.

The girl had a vial in her hand that she recognized as a Draught of Peace. "You have to get to him." Padma said firmly, "Reach out to him."

She shook her head.

"It...It hurts him. I can't…"

"He's bleeding Hermione." Padma interrupted harshly, "He can't last like this."

She nodded dumbly before reaching out and prying Draco's hands to his sides, murmuring comforting words in between her shaky breath and her vision blurring from her own tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry love." She whispered as Draco shook and struggled against her until Padma seemed to be able to reach him and feed him the draught.

He slumped, falling so that his head was pillowed by her shoulder, his body still twitching in lingering pain as he cried against her.

She couldn't bring herself to move as she snaked her own arms to hug her middle watching as Harry and Theo pulled Draco up and deposited him on the bed.

Padma was running diagnostic test and then summoning various potions as she worked.

"He said he needed different ones." She croaked pulling herself to her feet. She wavered for a moment, and Theo was immediately at her side to steady her.

Padma looked up and nodded.

"I can see that." She murmured glancing at her spells before her expression softened as she turned to her once more, "He's alright. Just a flare up probably brought on by stress."

She nibbled her lip.

"Is he…"

"Ugh." Draco shifted on the bed, bringing his hand up to rub at his face.

She bit her lip watching him as he blinked his eyes open and glanced at them all.

"Fuck." She heard him breathe out lowly before struggling to sit up.

She wanted to go to him. She did, but that entire event and the stabbing pain at her touch hurting him kept her firmly in place.

Padma didn't seem to have such qualms. She gently helped him up, lowly explaining things as she went.

She wasn't really aware of it though. She was lost.

In her mind.

In the action of simply standing.

In Draco's eyes as he looked at her in confusion.

Why couldn't she go to him?

Padma finished quickly, with orders for extended rest before leaving her with some potion instructions.

Still she couldn't move, and Theo hadn't moved from her side.

Frankly, neither had Harry.

As she was thinking it, Harry cleared his throat as though ready to excuse himself when Draco spoke.

"Wait."

Draco shot Theo a look who after a second pulled the ring at his finger, murmuring to himself.

The Protean Charm.

He was calling the others.

Whatever Draco had seen, whatever he thought he'd figured out; he seemed to know for sure now.

Satisfied with Theo, Draco turned to Harry.

"I know how to help you Potter."

* * *

He'd like to say the story was easier to tell the more he delved into it.

It wasn't hard to see why.

The faces of everyone present was twisted in horror as he explained all he remembered as a researcher and the bits and pieces he'd heard through the two years he was on the rise.

He could barely meet Pansy, Theo, or Blaise's gaze. He'd kept so much to himself over years. The rest of those in the room; Weasleys, Luna, and other stray Gryffindors that had made rank in the Order seemed unsure how to express this dump of knowledge he was leveling them with.

At some point, his voice gave out and Hermione seamlessly picked up where he left off.

She outlined their suspicions of what had happened and how they needed to learn to do the same or at least counteract it.

Protective runes.

She was arguing that they may have the most success with that.

They were simple. Relatively easy to imbued with magic and could be done before hand.

It would be faster with runes too.

To try and recreate the same technique the Dark Lord had done would take them months…

They didn't have months.

Not after what he'd seen.

That mole in the order was about to lose their usefulness and consequently their life.

He wouldn't wait long after that to make his final move.

He let out a breath before summoning a piece of parchment and one of Hermione's muggle pens and began to draw.

He didn't know why the movements came so easy when he'd barely glimpsed the rune in memory, but it was instinct and he wouldn't argue against it now.

"This is it Potter." He managed against the tightness of his throat charming the paper to fly over to the other man, who snatched it eagerly.

Hermione glanced at the sheet before looking at him longingly.

But not coming to him.

That hurt.

He couldn't think of a single thing that would force her to remain so far from him.

"We need to research it a bit to confirm, see if there's a corresponding spell." Hermione said lowly before turning her gaze from him and back to her friend.

"But Harry, we'll have to carve it into you."

Potter shook his head, his expression set.

He almost admired him for keeping his composure.

Carving in a rune was irreversible and painful.

"What's one more scar?" Potter said with a rueful smile.

Ginny was at his side then, threading her hand with Potter's and squeezing tight as she whispered in his ear.

He ground his teeth and looked away quickly.

He took a calming breath before he spoke again.

"There's something else."

He felt their eyes return to him and he physically had to force his heart from racing as he spoke again.

"There's another horcrux."

The room grew silent.

"Impossible."

He looked up and noticed the trio looking ill to the point of collapse.

"He couldn't have split his soul into more fractions. He couldn't…" Hermione gasped, wrapping her arms around her middle.

He wished he could take it back, say it wasn't true, but he couldn't.

He'd seen as much.

"Perhaps you miscounted...destroyed something that wasn't actually a horcrux, but rather a decoy." He said hoping to reason with her when he found he didn't have the energy to stand and go to her himself.

She shook her head, her curls falling softly to her back as she chewed her lip.

Potter met his gaze before he let out a huff of breath and began to recount the horcruxes.

"Riddle's Diary and Slytherin's locket."

"The Gaunt ring." Weasley said in a hushed whisper.

"Ravenclaw's Diadem." Hermione choked out.

"Hufflepuff's cup."

"Niagini."

He straightened.

"That can't be right." He said.

Harry crossed his arms. "The snake was. I could sense it."

"It's extremely unstable to turn a living being into a horcrux." he countered.

Harry clenched his jaw.

"I was a horcrux."

He couldn't help it then, a smirk broke across his face.

"And you'd call yourself stable?" he said a brow raised before he broke out into a thin laugh at the growl Potter sent his way.

"Harry's right. Why is it different in a living organism?" Ron said.

"Because you can give them access…" Hermione finally chimed in and meeting his gaze, "To magic and movement."

He nodded before turning to Potter. "He didn't know he made you right? It stands to reason then that you were an exception to this case, but creating a horcrux in a living organism is tricky. It can drive a wizard mad if done with intent."

He let out a breath.

"If the snake was a horcrux, the Dark Lord's will would have no real competing mind to gain control. He'd be completely autonomous within the snake. Then, following the logic that the binds of magic to a living organism are easier to alter than an object…"

"It could have fled the snake." Hermione finished, her face flushed at the implication and rush of academic discussion.

He nodded.

"So we have to find what it fled too."

* * *

They all seemed to agree that the place to start would be with Longbottom, who was currently in Ireland.

He worked in the long term unit the Order had set up and occasionally he did field work in the area.

In other words, they would not be able to reach him for a day.

It was frustrating, but the end was in sight something that seemed to at least brighten everyone's spirits.

There was a plan now.

A route to the finish line that they could follow and be done.

Draco slumped against the headboard as he watched Hermione usher the last of the members of their unofficial council of war out of their room.

She shut the door, leaning on it heavily as she looked back to him.

They stayed like that for quite a bit. Enough for his frustrations to spill over and guide the next words out of his mouth.

"I'm not contagious you know. You don't have to stand so far from me or be afraid of touchign me." he said not even bothering to mask his bitterness.

Hermione flinched and to his surprise and everlasting guilt, she began to silently cry as twin tracks of tears fell from her eyes. She moved and sat on the edge of the mattress before touching her fingers to the soft skin on the back of his hand.

"It." she struggled to speak, "It was hurting you before. I didn't want to hurt you again."

He furrowed his brows in confusion before what she'd said finally hit him.

During the vision or episode….

He turned his hand to grasp hers before pulling her to him.

She didn't resist, instead falling easily to rest her head on his chest as she continued to softly cry against him.

"I'm ok love. You're not hurting me." He whispered, kissing her hairline.

She shook her head.

"Maybe I'm not hurting you, but." She hiccuped, "But you're not ok."

She hugged him tight, pressing salty kisses down his jaw and then on his chest as she dropped her head and shook in his arms.

"Don't leave me Draco. Please don't."

His breath hitched.

"Never. Not if I can help it."

"But..but you might not be able to." She whispered looking up, "You've had it once and that decreases your chances by 20% and to begin with they aren't…"

He didn't think before he pulled her to him, angling her by the jaw to cover her lips with his.

He wanted her to stop.

To stop worrying.

Stop talking.

To understand what he hoped he was telling her with this kiss.

"Love." he murmured, not moving more than to breath and speak softly against her mouth.

"I'm sick." he began, willing himself not to tear up so he could focus on rebuilding her , "But they can treat it. It's so much better than when I had it the first time, and I made it through then."

She pulled back, her hands cupping his face so that her thumbs could trace his cheek.

"Promise." She bit her lip.

"I promise." he whispered before pecking her lightly.

"Ok." She breathed, nestling in his arms as her eyes dropped wearily to close.

He smiled slightly, hoping all the while that he hadn't just given his word in vain.

He let out a breath before dropping into a more comfortable position and joining Hermione as their breaths evened out and they fell asleep.

* * *

Hermione woke to the sensation of coldness.

She shifted, not quite wanting to tear herself from the blissful comfort of sleep just yet. Her arm went out and she found the sheets cool and more importantly empty.

She shot up and frantically glanced around before her heart stilled at the note that was placed on the side table.

She unfolded it quickly before wasting no time getting to her feet and heading down the hall.

He was right to be restless, but christ he'd scared her for a moment.

She cast a quick heating charm as she began the quick climb up the steps to the surface.

The charm had been a good idea.

The air was brisk, making her eyes water and her face cool at the sensation of its touch.

Draco wasn't far from the entrance of the cabin, huddled on the last step glancing up at the splash of stars that had come out as the sun set.

He didn't turn to her, but his posture straightened as he moved to the right to make room for her.

She sat down, snaking her arm around his waist.

He felt cold, but he didn't seem to mind it.

She let her fingers play against his sweater before she silently extended her own charm to him.

He smirked, but made no comment.

"The note was a good idea." she said softly. "I was so worried when I didn't find you."

He dropped his arm to rest over her shoulders and hugged her closer to him.

"I figured." he said.

She followed his gaze heavenward and smiled at the brightness that was nearly glowing in his own eyes.

"Mum used to say they were my stars." He whispered, leaning the side of his head against hers.

"Said that they were the right of every Black."

"Is that why you always took Astronomy?" She teased.

His lips twitched into a half smile.

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't part of the reason." He said dropping his eyes to glance over her before drifting back up to the sky.

"Is it strange...I don't think about them like the myths do. I see the stars and remember the people I knew." he said idly running his fingers over her shoulder as his grip tightened.

"It's a beautiful tradition." She murmured in reply.

She licked her lips that were quickly becoming chapped from the cold.

"Will you continue it?"

He dropped his head back down to look at her and after a moment's deliberation he reached to the collar of her shirt and pulled the chain out from beneath it.

He studied the stone pendant before looking up to meet her eyes.

"If you'd like us too."

She flushed, a sappy grin spreading across her face.

"How many?" she whispered.

"At least two." He let out a breath, pressing a light kiss to her temple.

"First one, boy or girl?"

"It doesn't matter, but probably a boy." He chuckled, "My family always has boys first."

"He'll probably look just like you." She said playing with the strands of hair on the back of his neck, "All etheral coloring and with eyes people get lost in."

He shook his head.

"I hope he has your smile."

"I hope he has your dimple."

Draco blushed lightly, so faint she was sure in any other light she would not have caught it.

"Your freckles." He murmured kissing the bridge of her nose.

She wrinkled her nose.

"Really?"

He barked out a laugh before tiredly slumping against her.

He hummed an affirmative before letting his lids drop.

"That's how I'd want it to go." he murmured.

She kissed his cheek.

"It will." she said firmly. "You said it yourself."

She waited. She needed him to say. She needed to hear it once more to remember it as true.

He blinked his eyes open, and her breath caught at the swirl of emotions playing out freely across his face.

He looked so determined.

He looked like hope.

And just like that. She no longer wanted him to say anything at all.

Not to force anything on him.

Not to make him say anything he had no way of controlling.

But she could say it for him.

"You will." She kissed him softly.

He smiled into her kiss before breaking away and beginning to point out constellations he'd always liked and cheekily telling her to make notes of names she liked.

She dropped her head onto his chest, enraptured at the flush of his cheeks and cheery air he still seemed capable of conjuring no matter how down he felt.

It was then that it really hit her that the prospect of having children at all no longer seemed to spark a sense of forebearing and anxiety in her chest as it once had when the matter had come up a lifetime ago at the Burrow one summer.

No.

Now, it didn't seem to matter to her if she had a hundred children, and she named each one of them after a star.

What did matter was who she had them with.

She stole a stray glance at Draco.

It definitely mattered.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: To the reviewer who said I'd better not kill off Draco and leave Hermione to raise a child alone, all I have to say is I believe in happy endings. It just might take a bit to get there. As always; Reviews=love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Hermione shot upright, shrugging off the covers as though they were strangling her as she willed her breathing to calm.

The dream had felt so real.

Shakily, she ran a hand through her hair, squeezing her lids shut.

It had started out with memories of that night, her hand curling around her forearm that no longer bore the scars she'd been gifted.

And while that had been bad enough, it had morphed into something even more terrible.

She'd seen everyone dead at her feet.

Harry. Ron. Luna. George. Fred. Ginny. Blaise. Pansy. Theo. Her mother and father. Draco.

 _Draco._

Her breath hitched as her chest tightened to the point it felt her very lungs were being squeezed together.

"Breathe love."

She stiffened, his hand gently coming to rest at the small of her back. His fingers made soothing motions against her shirt, before slipping beneath to massage her skin.

"Breathe." He repeated, kissing her back once.

She closed her eyes listening to his breathing and trying to match hers.

After a moment, her eyes fluttered open feeling significantly more in control.

She caught Draco's eyes as he shifted and stepped from the bed rummaging through her bag before pulling out a calming draught and handing it over her.

She drank and settled back against his chest.

"My personal healer." She murmured weakly with a slight grin.

He shook his head.

"Ironic." he murmured, kissing her temple, "Can't even keep myself healthy."

She shook her head, unable to bring herself to contest or even respond to it.

He sighed, running his hand soothingly up and down her arm.

He didn't ask what had startled her, didn't even pry, and for her part, his silence actually prompted her next words.

"It started out in the Manor." She shivered and his arms tightened in response, "And it morphed and suddenly she was taunting me with people...and they were all dead. Everyone- my parents." She shifted to sit so that she was facing him.

"You." She murmured taking her hands and cupping his face.

She shook her head before dropping her forehead to rest on his.

"We're all safe." he murmured.

She nodded.

"But I worry. I worry all the time, and with parents." She let out a sad sort of laugh, "I guess I don't really know for sure, do I? I can only learn so much, and if something does happen...they won't have a clue."

He sighed, tiredly taking her hands into his and gripping them tight.

"You never told me how it happened."

She shook her head, letting her eyes drop to their entwined hands.

"My dad found the book you gave me." She said lowly, "He asked why I was looking into it and I...I broke down. I told them a bit about the war; that I wanted to keep them safe. I lied and said the Ministry could hide me because I was magical, but I wanted them to be safe too…"

"And?"

She looked up and her eyes locked with his.

"And my dad said to do it."

Draco was silent before he bent down and kissed her slow.

She sighed against his lips before pulling away.

"Are you worried about reversing it?" he said after a moment.

She let out a breath, marveling at how he'd managed to pick up exactly what had been bothering her when she herself was barely aware of it herself.

But then, it always seemed like he was better at loving her than she was him. He read her, read people really, better than she did.

Ironic.

More so when she took into account how he'd grown up in such a stiff and formal world.

She wondered if he felt she offered him the same level of comfort as he did her.

It was harder with him.

She could spend the rest of her life and still feel like she would never be able to reach through all the layers of him to pull that one things that was consuming his thoughts. Though, if she stopped and thought about it, it never seemed like just one thing was running around in Draco's mind.

"A bit." she finally said.

"They already had one charm on them, and I layered it with a second."

He held her close, tangling his fingers in her hair.

"I know you'll figure it out. You always do." he murmured.

She smiled weakly, closing her eyes as she relaxed in his embrace.

She wanted to believe him, but it was so incredibly hard to believe anything at the moment.

There was so much that needed to be done...so many things they had left to figure out and no way of knowing if they would in time.

She shoved it away and instead took one of his hands into hers, matching her fingertips with the corresponding ones on his.

"You know, when I got that letter saying you were Head Boy, I never imagined it would lead us here using the past and the future to end a war neither one of us wanted."

"And is that a good or bad thing?"

She let out a puff of air.

"Good." She said with her lips curling into her first genuine smile.

He smirked slightly.

He lent his head down, his lips a hair from hers.

"Good." He breathed before stealing one more kiss.

* * *

Draco woke first.

He propped his head up on his arm as he took in Hermione's sleeping form beside him. Her hair had come undone from her loose bun and was splayed out on the pillow behind her.

She looked so peaceful, a stark contrast to the bundle of nerves and sorrow she'd been hours before.

He let his fingers comb through the mosaic shades of brown and auburn for a moment before he reluctantly climbed out of the bed.

He winced as his feet took his weight, and he practically hobbled into the loo for a quick shower.

It was getting harder and harder to drag himself out of the confines of bed every morning, but he still forced himself to do so.

The very idea of being bedridden sickened him.

He just had to keep pushing until the final battle and then he'd willingly submit to having a cleanse and spending the next however long needed to recuperate.

Padma wasn't happy about his choice, but she'd allowed it.

He was doing relatively well with transfusions, stable for the time being despite his easy fatigue and relatively debilitating symptoms.

The new meds helped with that; though, he hated taking them.

They clouded his mind, making his eyes glass over and his awareness dull.

Taking them in smaller doses minimized that side effect, but really there wasn't much he could do without stopping them completely.

At this point, he didn't think he could handle that.

He dressed quickly and with one last longing look at Hermione's sleeping form he slipped out from the room.

He took his time as he walked, not too fast and not too slow that he would be late to this meeting.

It wouldn't do to be that rude to the Head of the Order.

His opinion on Kingsley Shacklebolt had changed over these few meetings. He now held a begrudging respect for the man who'd helped keep the shambles of the Order safe as he struggled to rebuild over the years.

He knew the feeling was mutual to a certain degree, but that respect didn't necessarily engender trust.

Shacklebolt was still weary of him, as though his very position and actions were simply too good to be true.

He was waiting for the hat to drop so to speak.

To a certain extent so was he.

He was waiting for the tension to implode with either the Order locking him away and throwing out the key or for the Dark Lord's forces to come barreling in intent on destroying him for turning coat.

He was walking an incredibly thin line despite his efforts to weave it with several failsafes.

He paused at the door before him and knocked twice before entering and taking a seat before Shacklebolt.

He took a moment to examine the other man who looked as though he hadn't managed a decent night's sleep in the last three years.

Draco could empathize with that.

He waited for Shacklebolt to speak. He guarded himself in these meetings, and one way of doing that was simply letting the other talk and offering replies when necessary.

He had to weigh his words. He wouldn't give information without first assessing it's worth.

His leverage was all he had to hold on to.

"Someone made contact with us." Shacklebolt said, leaning forward placing his crossed arms flat on the table between them.

"Who?"

Shacklebolt eyed him for a moment before drawing in a breath.

"Lucius Malfoy."

He had to physically restrain himself from responding. Years of practice kept his face straight, but the smaller things, his tells; tightening his fists, clenching his jaw...those he worked to keep in check.

 _Just what was the bastard doing?_

"For the last two years we've anonymously been given information. Nothing major or overly helpful, but enough to lead us to several member rescues." Shacklebolt paused before glancing over him top to bottom once more.

"He claimed to have been the informant."

Draco lent forward, mimicking the other wizard.

"It's a disturbing world." he said flatly, "Stranger things have been known to happen."

Shacklebolt seemed to consider his answer before resuming his story.

"He said he was ready to come forward seeing as his, and I quote, infuriating spawn had run to this side."

He couldn't help the smirk that spread on his lips at that wording.

Shacklebolt's brow rose, but he said nothing as he continued.

"We didn't confirm your presence, and he didn't seem to mind before he volunteered information on London's current state. Apparently, you've been kidnapped by Miss Granger, who had Mr. Nott under the Imperius Curse for months before he died during her escape."

He snorted at the story. It certainly contained his father's dramatic flare.

"A decent cover story, perhaps too convenient but it'll hold for some time."

Shacklebolt nodded as though he too had come to that very conclusion.

"He requested a meeting."

He shrugged, unsure why such a request concerned him.

"He wanted you."

Now that caused warning bells to sound in his mind. Couldn't the prick be consistent for once, stay within his sphere so that Draco could hate him properly.

Gods.

He licked his lips.

"Me?"

"Only you." Shacklebolt said, a flash of irritation clear for a second on his face.

"We'll of course send you in with two scouts who will have to stay at a safe distance away, but…"

He held his hand up, "Wait, you've agreed already?"

"You have reasons to not want to meet?"

 _More than you can bloody count._

He grit his teeth, knowing without a doubt that a veiled threat lay somewhere in that inquiry.

He shook his head after a moment before leveling his first stipulation on this meeting.

"I want Blaise Zabini as one of the scouts."

Shacklebolt seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding in acceptance.

"The meeting's been set for today."

Somehow that didn't surprise him at all.

He stood and straightened his clothes, picking imaginary lint from his sleeve.

"Then I suppose I should prepare."

* * *

Hermione sighed, putting down her book and pushing it slightly away from her. Her eyes drifted to the clock.

It seemed to be mocking her, the way the hands weren't moving to tell time as she felt it.

That wasn't fair though.

It wasn't the clock really that was bothering her.

Draco had left early that morning for a meeting with Kingsley while she'd been asleep, and when he'd returned she'd seen him for only a second before he said he had something he needed to do and would see her at lunch.

And it still wasn't time for lunch yet...

She let out an irritated sigh.

It was hard to let him out of her sight; like she needed visual confirmation that he was alright.

He hadn't had another episode, but the fear of one seemed to be resting on her shoulders.

He didn't seem to have that worry, or if he did, he never showed it.

She almost envied him for that.

Her eyes fell on the book in front of her.

She was sure that she knew just what needed to be done to remove the block on Harry. Hours of research into the symbol Draco had sketched and even more on the concept of magical blocks had made her confident and increased her desire to see Voldemort as nothing more than a bad dream.

The idea, the principle, the work and use of it all made it hard to see the monster as anything but brilliant.

But that didn't make him any less of a monster.

It made her wonder if that's how it had started way back in the beginning. The more she delved into the books Draco had recommended the more she realized just how vast and incredible magic really was. Draco had been right to say her view on it was too narrow.

Had that been how Voldemort saw magic? A tool instead of an entity; one that could be sharpened and wielded to do incredible but terrible things?

A shiver ran down her spine as she stood abruptly.

She didn't want to ponder such things, and the idea of being alone suddenly made her uneasy.

Gathering her hair into a ponytail, she quickly left her room lingering in the hall outside the door.

She gazed down the corridor, her eyes settling on one particular door. On impulse, she moved toward it noticing the light peeking out from the cracks of the frame. She knocked and upon hearing the grunt to enter, she pushed open the door.

Theo was laying on his bed, stretched out and staring blankly at the parchment that was lying on the table at his bedside.

"Hey." She murmured coming to sit at the foot of his bed.

He turned, shifting himself to the side to look at her. "Hi."

She smiled slightly, moving over to the head of the bed. On impulse, she reached over and combed through Theo's hair. It was a comforting gesture, and based on his melancholy mood he seemed to need it.

He shook his head against her fingers but made no protests to her actions. She watched him for a moment before leaning back.

"What's the matter Theo?"

He smirked slightly before sitting up against his headboard.

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

She smiled thinly.

"I just do."

He let out a tired sigh.

"Daphne."

She waited, leaning back on her hands.

"How is she?"

"Good. Good. And Stori's good, or better." He shook his head.

She bit her lip before taking one of her hands and clasping it over his.

He sighed again turning his hand to hold hers.

"She asked if she should come."

She said nothing, gripping her brother's hand. It was astonishing really. It still took her aback that they were siblings, and in moments like these she actually relished it. She'd never had a sibling, though she'd wanted one, and now that she had one she wanted to make sure that the time they'd never had to forge the tight knit bonds between siblings didn't affect how well they bonded now and into the future.

"I can't ask that of her. I mean Astoria's no fighter, and to ask her to leave her sister. It's selfish of me."

"Theo." She said, "She wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it."

Theo smiled slightly, looking up at her.

"I know but …"

"She wants to be here. Let her." She said.

Theo smirked, an amused look in his eye.

"You really do know everything."

She shrugged her shoulders. Theo shook his head, pulling her hand to stand.

"How's Draco?"

Seeing her face, Theo slung his arm over her shoulder as they walked slowly out of his room to the hall.

She looked up and quickly looked away.

"I worry Theo. I feel like I'm scared all the time."

Where was her Gryffindor bravery, her courage to meet everything head on? It had died, brutally. Probably a long time ago when she'd realized the world wasn't black and white and filled with gray actions on either side that could morph into horrid things.

He gripped her shoulder.

"I know. Me too."

* * *

Draco lent against the wall, his hand going to his temple to rub away at the tension that was threatening to turn into a rage of a migraine.

No matter how many times he'd turned his plans over and over in his head; convinced himself it would be fine, his stomach wouldn't settle and his anxiety only climbed.

But this is what it had come to.

He'd never really thought about what he would do if he ever saw his father and had to fight openly on the other side.

He supposed he'd figured he could stun the man and hand him to the Order while negotiating some sort of manageable sentence for him.

Despite everything, Lucius was still his blood.

No matter how much he may try to forget it.

The revelation that that same man, pureblood zealot, had been underhandedly working to gain favor with the Resistance still made him feel dizzy at the whiplash such a notion had caused him.

Lucius had claimed him as the reason, but he couldn't bring himself to accept that.

Lucius Malfoy only ever did things that would benefit him. Secure him. Profit him.

But what did he had to gain? Had he sensed that inevitably the tides would change or finally come to the realization that the world the Dark Lord had promised was no where near the world he'd envisioned?

The whole idea was so far out and yet oddly plausible...and still-

Could he really have tried to forge this new path...with him in mind?

He shoved that thought away.

It was a defense mechanism, one he was intimately familiar with that involved protection against that childish want that perhaps he'd done enough...been enough for his father only to be let down later.

He was older now. Wisened, and quite a bit more banged up than he had been then.

He'd focus on what he needed to do and nothing more.

He pushed off and resumed walking down the hall.

The fact that he was already beginning to feel tired worried him. He'd have to sleep and maybe have a few strengthening potions before he went to this so called meeting.

He rounded the corner and was pleased when the person he'd been seeking stepped out from one of the rooms.

"Blaise." He called out.

The other turned and paused waiting for Draco to reach him.

He said the necessary pleasantries and waited until he was certain they were alone and in no danger of being interrupted before he continued.

Blaise was watching him intently, his dark eyes unreadable but obviously curious at what he had to say.

"Has Shacklebolt talked to you?"

Blaise shot him a look.

"Not yet."

He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair before resting it at the back of his neck.

"He's going to ask you to field a short mission. You have to accept."

He could see the mix of emotions those words had caused in his friend without even trying to study him.

That curiosity was now full blown, but entwined with that were the protests Draco had known Blaise would have.

In fact, he was sure Shacklebolt would have been counting on those protests to prompt Blaise to turning down the mission before he'd heard it, leaving him open to assign a different agent. Someone who'd report exactly what occurred and wouldn't leave Draco room to work.

And he needed that room if he hoped to get anything out of his father.

Blaise had just returned from assignment. No doubt, he'd hoped for some sort of break before his next wild goose chase. Time to relax and do things he'd prefer not to imagine on his rather innocent and airy cousin.

So he'd taken the matter in his own hands.

He explained the gist of the meeting, and by the end he could see his own thoughts on the meeting reflected in his long time friend.

Lucius could claim amnesty and willingness to help the Resistance, but that didn't mean he'd give them anything he didn't want to.

But there was something else besides doubt or disbelief in Blaise's face.

There was worry.

It made his inside squirms seeing it.

Did he really warrant that sort of emotion already?

"Mate, you sure you're up to-"

"I'll manage." He said tightly, not wanting to lie, but willing to do so if he needed too. "It's not like I have much of a choice in the matter anyway."

Those words were like bile in his mouth. How disgustingly familiar they were despite all his measures to ensure he'd never have to say them much less feel the sentiments they brought ever again.

Yet here he was saying them anyway.

Blaise let out a breath, with a tired nod signifying his agreement.

"Why me? You could have asked for Granger."

"Shacklebolt wouldn't risk her, and it's not like I want her anywhere near this when it happens." He paused to meet Blaise's eyes, "And, you're the only other Order member I trust to think before he acts."

Neither said anything for a moment, letting the silence engulf them both.

It was Blaise who eventually broke it when he spoke next.

"Draco, do you trust him to...has he given you any reason…" Blaise began trailing off as he seemed unable to formulate what he truly wanted to say.

 _Will you be safe?_

He folded his arms, pressing them close to his chest.

Moments of his last few interactions with Lucius flashed before his eyes nearly knocking all the air out of his chest.

"He helped us out." He said softly, "And he claims to be doing this because of me."

He looked up at Blaise who was incredibly still, lost in all Draco had to say.

"But for me to believe he's doing this because he'd finally learned to be paternal," he paused unable to hide the bitterness he had with that word before he continued, "I don't think I can, but he…."

"He never hurts anyone outright. I should know right?"

He laughed bitterly.

Blaise shook his head.

"Alright mate. Alright."

He sagged in visible relief at Blaise's acquiescence before they both turned toward the eating hall.

Now, he just had to break the news to Hermione.


	43. Chapter 43

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

"Please don't go."

The words sounded pitiful to her ears, but she couldn't stop herself from saying them anyway. When he'd told her, he'd said it so fast she'd barely comprehended.

In retrospect, that was probably intentional. Quick, like ripping off a bandaid and waiting to deal with the fallout afterward.

But she'd had time now to maul it over, and none of it felt right to her.

None of it was right.

How Draco was treated wasn't right.

He was ill to the point he could die, and still Kingsley had 'politely' asked this of him.

A small part of her hated him for it...for being the tough leader the Order needed him to be, but more of her hated him for simply not doing enough to negotiate better terms for them. Christ to negotiate period.

But then, she was sure Draco was seen as somewhat expendable to him...to the Order.

The whole thing made her feel ill.

"Hermione." Draco breathed, taking her hands from where they'd gripped his shoulders to in between his two larger ones.

"You know I have to go."

She shook her head, forcing her eyes up to his.

He seemed much more alert now than he'd been for days. Idly, she wondered if that had anything to do with him not taking any of his medications or because of a wit sharpening potion he'd snuck in between.

Probably both.

Draco sighed, gripping her hands tight.

"Blaise will be there too." He said softly, "We can trust him."

She didn't know why she was fighting still. She couldn't win with this.

Reluctantly, she switched their hands so now hers curled around his as she brought them up to her lips and pressed feather light kisses on his knuckles.

"Be safe." She said.

He gave her a small smile.

"I always try to be."

With that he kissed her quickly on the lips before darting toward the staircase and up to the outside of the cottage where Blaise and the other Order member assigned to him were.

She clenched her hands into fists at her side. Her eyes were still fixed at the staircase as though staring would somehow give her confirmation that everything would be fine.

She didn't even stir when she heard footsteps sound behind her. A hand came to rest at her shoulder.

"So what's the plan?" Theo said.

She reached in her pocket and gripped her wand.

"Give me a minute." she muttered.

* * *

Draco blinked at the light as he stepped from the cabin.

He hadn't been in actually daylight for quite some time. It felt strangely pleasant.

He closed his eyes, relishing the feel of the warm rays for a moment before he dug his fists into his pockets and stepped completely off the porch of the cabin toward Blaise.

"This is going to be shit show." Blaise muttered.

"Thank you for the confidence." He muttered. He silently cast a spell on their feet to cancel sound as they stepped away from the protective wards of the Order.

He was about to ask who their third member was when his question was answered by the arrival of another.

He nearly choked at the sight of her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

If he hadn't been well aware that fate loved to fuck with him, he would have been sure of it now.

How else could anyone explain Katie Bell's presence?

He eyed Blaise out of the corner of his eye, and the bastard wisely avoided his gaze.

He waited then, studying Katie's face. It betrayed nothing; something he could begrudgingly admire.

"Malfoy."

He said nothing as they stared each other down.

Beside him Blaise snorted. "Fuck." He moved passed them.

They stood silently for a moment more before Katie moved to follow.

He winced before he called out.

"Wait."

Katie half turned to face him.

"Look. Bell." he began, "I'm-"

"Malfoy." She interrupted quickly. Her face softened momentarily. "I know."

He cleared his throat, nearly coughing at the lump that had now wedged deftly into his airways. He gave a quick nod in response.

Katie's mouth twisted into a thin smile before they both turned and trudged deeper into the forest after Blaise.

They walked for 10 more minutes in silence before it was time for them to split up. Katie went to his left, leaving Blaise to go to the right, while he continued on straight.

He pulled his wand and idly tapped it at his thigh as he walked taking care to cast revealing spells the deeper he journeyed into the forest.

He couldn't help the added sense of dread that was growing with each step he took.

The weariness of his bones didn't help matters either.

Not knowing what to expect had his mind running in circles conjuring images of possibilities.

He hated it; hated that he'd been forced into this and hated himself for accepting.

Most of all he hated Lucius for having put him in this position to begin with.

He finally stopped walking at the sight of a small clearing before him.

Without even thinking, he began casting protection spells, sealing the area off to uninvited guests human or otherwise and keying rudimentary wards to very specific people.

Then he walked over to the one stone bolder and sat down wearily resigning himself to wait.

He didn't have to wait long as it turned out. He'd sat for not more than 5 minutes before a twinge of the wards alerted him to a drawing presence.

Even if the wards hadn't revealed the encroaching person, he was sure he would have recognized him anyway.

It was such a strange thing to realize, that having lived with someone so long you innately begin to pick up the smallest of details about them.

The sound of their steps.

The way they would draw breath as they moved.

The pulse of their magic.

Although that last one may have had more to do with his own tumultuous core than it did in his ability to detect magical signatures that were familiar to him.

And Merlin was this magical signature familiar to him.

He stood stiffly, turning himself slightly to meet Lucius's eyes.

His father had stopped so that they were a near 3 feet away from one another, but even from this distance he could pick up on the small things that told him what state he'd found his father in.

Ironic really, that he could make out his own exhaustion that marred his face on his father's...mirrored in a way he shouldn't really be surprised to see.

But he was, he was even more so to see the barest bit of warm sentiments in Lucius's cool steel eyes.

Could he really have been concerned for him?

He cleared his throat then, having come to the realization that Lucius would not speak unless he did first.

He dug his hands into his pockets, gripping his wand so tight he was sure he'd cut off blood flow to his fingers.

"They said you'd only speak to me."

* * *

Hermione cast her fifth revealing spell as she and Theo continued trudging even deeper into the Forbidden Forest.

It came back negative just like the other 4 had.

She couldn't help it. She was a bundle of nerves, and she couldn't for the life of her shake the feeling that something was going to go incredibly wrong.

Like she was the seer and not Draco.

"We need to cover more ground." Theo said looking distinctly unhappy at his suggestion.

She bit her lip. Theo was right of course. They hadn't even picked up the faintest trace of a magical signatures for miles. Draco, Blaise, and whoever else had a head start on them. They could walk aimlessly for hours and still not happen upon them.

"So we need to split up."

"Hermione-"

"Theo it's fine." She insisted, "Patronus if anything is wrong or the coins." She fisted her hands. "Please. We're wasting time."

Theo bit the inside of his cheek and looked over her face.

He let out a tired sigh, and for a moment she was struck that she wasn't the only one who'd not slept well in quite some time.

"Fine." He said slowly, "But anything...anything out of the ordinary Hermione."

She interrupted him by taking his hands into hers.

"Ok. I promise."

Theo's grip tightened before he let go and inclined his head to the left. She nodded with a forced smile as Theo spun on his heel and stalked off.

She took a breath before casting another silencing charm on her feet and heading in the opposite direction.

She couldn't say how long she actually went before her spell came back detecting a person. It surely had felt longer than it actually was. Being alone, traveling in a forest that had scared her for so long...for so many reasons while she'd been a student, it certainly clouded her general perception.

She gripped her wand casting disillusionment spells and headed in the direction her spell had highlighted.

Kingsley may have granted Draco some sort of protection, but she doubted it was sufficient. There were so many factors that had to be considered. Whether Lucius Malfoy could be trusted to arrive alone or unfollowed for that matter came to mind.

She lent against a tree turning the corner and leaning her head to listen for anything out of ordinary.

A slight rustling drew her attention and she shifted ever so slightly toward it.

A few feet in and she caught sight of a dark cloak of a person's back.

She turned to circle the figure, a male if the build was anything to go by. She didn't recognize the face as she finally came to the front.

His dark brown eyes were darting to and fro like he was waiting for something.

Yet, for what?

She couldn't say how she knew, but she had a feeling the man hadn't come as an ally to Lucius.

The man straightened then, and before she could even figure out what he'd noticed, she was slammed backward by a released force, falling into a tree and tripping on the upturned roots.

She bit her lip to keep from crying out in pain. She could taste the barest hint of rust in her mouth from where her teeth had split her lip at the action.

"Come out so I can see you." The man said turning slowly to circle the clearing. He frowned as his eyes drifted around and she held her breath, relaxing only when his eyes passed unsuspecting over her form.

"I know it's you blood traitor. So cowardly, you hide even now."

She wasn't able to brace herself when he once more let out a blast that knocked her into the bushes, scratching her skin and twisting her ankle further.

She let out a low hiss, before drawing her wand and healing her ankle. She turned quickly, tossing a spell the other's way.

He easily dodged and she moved just as he sent his spell in return.

They went on like that until he once more let out a pulse of energy that threw her spiraling back and slamming her head at the base of a tree.

She was still scrambling to her feet when a spell was shot out from behind her, hitting her assailant square in the chest and sending him stunned to the ground.

She gasped in surprise as her eyes scanned the area for her hidden savior.

She didn't have to wait long before a tall dark haired figure stepped from the shadows and into the clearing his wand held loosely in his hand as though to indicate he came peacefully.

The similarity was uncanny, so much so that she nearly dropped her disillusionment and raced to embrace him.

But she didn't, because though this man was named Theodore Nott, he wasn't her Theo.

As though sensing her, his eyes drifted to her exact spot.

"I know you're there. You can come out."

She bit her lip, debating her options. She had no reason to trust this man.

"I didn't get you out of London for you to hide from me now."

She stiffened, her mind made up. Dropping her disillusionment, she stepped forward with her wand raised in front of her.

"Don't." She said sternly when he made to walk toward her.

He stopped, keeping his hands raised before him so she could see them.

"What are you doing here?"

He looked at her, his eyes soaking her up hungrily. The recognition was still blazing in his eyes, and she wondered just how much she looked like his first wife…

Too much apparently.

"I came with Lucius. We suspected we'd been followed." His eyes drifted to the prone body as though to say that their suspicions had been founded.

"Well you've done your part, you can go now." she said firmly, struggling to keep her voice steady. She hardly wanted him to know how strongly he affected her.

His very existence, nevermind his presence, shook the very foundations of her life. It was hard to figure out what was real and what was not?

"Is it wrong for a father to check up on his children?" he said after a moment.

She couldn't help it then, she snorted barely restraining herself from full out laughter.

"Children?" she said, licking her lips, "I'm not the pureblood princess you wanted. I'm the girl with the trace of muggle blood that you abandoned." She eyed him harshly, pleased when she caught him wince at her words.

"I don't know why you'd bother either way." she continued cruelly, "From what Theo tells me, you weren't much better to him."

He looked anguished, and a small part of her felt guilt at having been the cause of such pain, but her words weren't false.

He looked ready to speak when a third presence joined them.

"Hermione." Theo rushed over to her looking her up and down to take in her numerous scratches that still marred her skin.

He looked pale, hesitantly taking one of her hands into his before the other went to her hair and the cut she knew was slightly bleeding and wetting her scalp.

"Did he hurt you?" Theo suddenly demanded, "Did he touch you Hermione?"

She barely mustered the sense to shake her head before Theo had whirled around and aimed his wand at his father's chest.

"What are you doing here?"

Nott Sr. gave them both a wistful look before willing his face into a calm and blank expression.

"I came with Lucius." he said simply.

Theo gave him a chilling glare.

"Then perhaps you should go back to him." Theo said coldly.

Father and son eyed each other and for a moment, she swore she saw Theo soften slightly at their father before his expression became cold once more.

Nott Sr. turned to go before his eyes met hers

"I wanted you." he murmured softly...so much so that it was a wonder she could hear it at all. "I wanted you the minute I held you, even if I hated myself for it."

With that, the older Nott spun on his heel with his robes billowing behind him as he drifted away and was lost into the dark of the forest.

* * *

"You never make it easy do you?" Draco said after moment, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

"You didn't ask them for me just so you could torment me further, did you?" He continued bitterly.

Lucius said nothing. The bastard wasn't even facing him, he was to his side looking out into the forest as though watching for something.

He huffed in irritation before standing and making his way out to leave when Lucius called out, "Wait."

His brow rose as he turned back to face his father.

He waited, watching in rapt fascination as a few emotions flickered across Lucius's face before he seemed to settle on his familiar and firm blank one.

"Potter's curse. You've figured it out then?"

He debated his answer before slowly speaking, "We have some ideas."

Lucius shot him a knowing look before murmuring something to himself.

"When you break it, he will know. Do it only when you're ready, battle won't be far behind it."

He nodded, holding his tongue so not to interrupt him. A learned behavior he couldn't shake even now.

Don't speak unless spoken to. Respect your elders and especially respect the head of your household.

Yet, that had not been Lucius for quite some time, and still he couldn't forget to do as he'd been raised.

"You will also have to find the last of his." Lucius pursed his lips in disgust, "his pieces. He does not seem to know what it is, but can sense its existence. If you move quickly you'll be able to find and destroy it faster that he can."

He wanted to comment on how his father knew these things. He wanted to pry and dig deeper, but suddenly his head was pounding and his heart drumming and the only thing he could ask...the only thing he really cared to know the answer to fell from his lips.

"Why?" he said harshly, "Why are you doing this now?"

Lucius froze.

"Should I have a reason?"

He felt his frustration building along with a sense of pure incredulity.

"You always have a reason." He bit out.

Lucius took a breath as though calming himself before he spoke.

"And I suppose if I say my reason is you."

"Bullshit." Draco snapped, "Don't you fucking dare say anything like that. I have never been a reason for you to do anything."

Lucius's eyes glinted; though his face remained a cool mask.

"You don't know what I've done-"

"I know exactly what you've done that's the problem." Draco exclaimed.

"Don't presume you know my reasons-"

"So what?! You've secretly been parent of the year and I've been too blind to realize?" Draco shouted, "Don't act like I'm the one who's deluded. I asked you a question just give me the truth. Fuck. I deserve it don't I. I…" Draco stumbled for a moment. His hand went to his head as a sharp pain spread over his temples, blurring his vision for a moment.

"Merlin." he mumbled, blinking. His gaze sharpened and he noticed Lucius had paled, staring at him with his jaw slack.

It was then that he realized where exactly he was staring.

"Shit." he muttered reaching his hand to his nose not in the least surprised when his fingers came away crimson.

Suddenly, he felt himself being led to sit and his head tilted back.

He heard his father sigh as he pulled from his pocket a handkerchief and pressed it against his nose. He accepted it reluctantly as he closed his eyes and kept his head back. He was surprised when Lucius kept his hands steadying his head. It felt almost gentle.

After a moment, he seemed more able to reorient himself. He pulled away, sniffing as he somehow made it to his feet walking a foot a way. He needed space...Lucius standing over him...everything.

It suddenly felt like too much.

He let out a breath, keeping his back to his father like the coward he was.

He heard shuffling behind him as Lucius cleared his throat.

"How long?"

He nearly choked on his next breath as he spoke. "Longer than I should probably admit." He bit his lip and turned back to face the other man.

He kept his eyes trained to a point over Lucius's shoulder, unable to meet his gaze quite yet.

"I've been...I've felt poorly really ever since _he_ came back."

Lucius winced, and for a moment Draco saw an indescribable guilt leak out from behind Lucius's normally carefully crafted mask.

Guilt and...worry, fear, everything imaginable.

"The Order has...has been treating you…"

"Yes." He cut in, not really wanting to elaborate or hear anymore of his father's awkward inquiries.

Lucius nodded stiffly letting out a shuddering breath.

"Merlin." He heard him mutter before Lucius looked back at him.

"Draco." He began, his face solemn...truly more sincere than he ever recalled seeing him, "I know I've made mistakes."

His breath caught...could this really be-

"And because of them I haven't been the father I should have been, but." Lucius cleared his throat, "But I did always try to do what I thought was best, safe, and proper, for you."

He stared at him. It was almost like he was seeing an entirely new person for the first time. He searched for some sort of sign, a hidden lie, anything and was at a loss when he found none.

"I'm sorry." Lucius continued, "and I want for you to know that I will always stand on the side you choose."

Draco didn't trust his voice so merely nodded in response.

Lucius cracked the barest of smiles before indicating he should sit back down on the bolder.

Numbly, he complied and they sat like that in comfortable silence before Lucius broke it in order to finish telling him all he knew.

When they were done, Lucius stood, placing a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"Plan carefully," He said before eyeing him for a moment, "And listen to the Healers."

Draco nodded, hoping he didn't look as tormented as he actually felt.

Lucius nodded in turn and seemed about to bid his leave when he came back to face him.

"And Draco."

He found his eyes automatically drawn to ones that were nearly identical to his own.

"I am proud of you."

With that, Lucius Malfoy disappeared back into the forest, leaving Draco wondering just how he was supposed to be alright with any of it all.


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: I know it's been a while since the last update, but life has just been more hectic that usual. Enjoy! We're getting so close to the end. I think 1 or 2 chapters should do it. As always, reviews=love.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Hermione sighed, absently running her fingers up and down Draco's arm where it lay draped around her waist.

Sleep had been horrendously difficult to get after all the excitement of yesterday. It kept running around in her head. A short encounter that could not have been more than minutes to something stretched for hours on replay in her mind.

 _I wanted you._

Her hand stilled. Had he?

She'd broken down and told Draco about it, after he'd had his rant about her rash Gryffindor action to go after him at all.

His advice had been rather levelheaded when compared to how strongly he voiced his opinion on the meeting. A true feat when one considered his explosive temper.

" _You can give him the benefit of the doubt, but that doesn't mean you have to trust him or like him or even get to know him for that matter. When this is all over, and life has settled, you'll get your parents back and you can decide what you want to do about Nott."_

He was right. In his annoyingly calm way, he knew it too. Though, he hadn't pushed it. In fact, he'd welcomed talking about her instead of talking about Lucius.

He'd shared the information about the plans...about Harry's curse, but for all that there was something that seemed to force him quiet.

He was holding back, and she'd bet anything it was something he'd discussed with Lucius...something more personal.

On any other day, she'd have forced him to talk, but he was so tired and her own emotions in turmoil that she'd left it be.

Really the real question now was where they would go from here despite everything.

Harry's curse needed to be broken, but not before they'd met with Neville and discovered the renegade horcrux.

They needed to end this soon. The fight in each of them was rapidly drawing to an end, and the longer they waited the stronger the opposition would grow as they grew weaker. Her grip tightened around Draco's arm.

They needed to be done so that they could heal.

She let out a breath before lifting herself up and peering over to look at him.

To her surprise, his eyes were open with furrowed brows as his thoughts drew him a thousand miles away from her.

He looked paler than usual and though he had managed to sleep more than she had at any rate, he looked the farthest thing from rested.

"Hey." she murmured sitting up and letting her hand rest on his chest as she ran it around in soft patterns along his shirt.

He blinked, before drawing his eyes to her. He returned her thin smile before grabbing her hand and planting a soft kiss at her knuckles.

He let out a tired sigh then, and she felt a frown tug at her mouth as she took her free hand and combed away his wayward strands of hair from his forehead. The frown only deepened when she felt the heat of his skin.

"I feel awful." he muttered. He turned on his side to face her fully. "I don't think I'm going to be much help with anything today." He continued a hint of an apology in his tone.

She shook her head, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

"We all had an eventful day yesterday, and you really shouldn't be exerting yourself so much." she said trying to keep the worry from creeping into her voice.

For him to admit to the slightest weakness, even to her, implied it was bad.

He shrugged giving her a sheepish grin. "Yeah. I should be saving my strength for when we finally decide to end this."

She wanted to argue against his stubborn desire to fight in the battle when it came, but found she couldn't. He deserved the chance didn't he? After all these years working from the shadows, didn't they each owe it to each other to play their parts until the end?

"Well you can do that today. There's not much we can do without Neville, and he was delayed in Ireland. A patient he was helping with took a bad turn."

Draco nodded absently threading his fingers through hers and tightening his grip as he felt her pull away to stand.

"Where are you going?" He said, sitting up with a wince.

"First." she said cupping her hands around his face, "I'm going to send a message to Padma to come and check on you later, then I'm going to shower, get dressed, and get us food. We're going to spend a lazy day together."

Draco smiled, before pulling her close and nuzzling his face into her neck.

"That sounds good." His breath tickled her collarbone, "A shower sounds amazing." He kissed her soft skin.

"Draco." she murmured, her eyes fluttering closed.

She felt him smile against her before lifting his head and painfully slowly rising to stand beside her.

"To the shower then." He said with a wicked sort of smile on his face before he pulled them both into her bathroom.

* * *

Dressed, fed, and sated, they eventually settled on a couch she transfigured from a jacket in her room. Draco's head was in her lap as he dozed while she continued searching through book after book about anything that had to do with dark curses, defense spells, and… Venenum Tenebris.

Because now that she could see him beginning to falter, she couldn't hold herself back from discovering everything that could be done since he still refused to do the cleanse.

Because he wanted to fight.

He wanted to prove he could.

He wanted to end it and an even bigger part of him probably wanted vengeance for Narcissa.

She shook her head, placing her book to the side, unsettled by her thoughts and the bleak description the book had offered her.

Her eyes settled on Draco, focusing on his furrowed brow indicating his concentration even as he slept. Where had his dreams taken him now?

She let her fingers smooth his brow before running through his hair. He was still slightly feverish, no doubt his body's way of fighting whatever infection was raging against his own magic.

She closed her own eyes leaning her head back content to nap herself until Draco woke, when a knock at the door interrupted her.

She sat up quickly with care minding Draco, who thankfully hadn't woken. Summoning a pillow and carefully repositioning his head, she turned and as silently as she could opened the door.

The figure before her quickly brought a grin to her face as she shut the door and stepped forward to envelope him in a tight hug.

"Welcome back Neville."

"Hey Hermione." He said with just a hint of the shy boy he used to be shining through. Though, shy and boy he was not no longer.

Neville had grown considerably, towering over her similar to Draco, with broader shoulders and a more relaxed stance.

He'd gained his confidence in battle and later in his abilities in herbology both of which had led to his collaboration with the Healers in Ireland and promotion within the Order.

She couldn't help but be proud of him for all that.

"I'd invite you in, but Draco's asleep." She said.

To her surprise, Neville nodded with an understanding smile on his face. "Right. I heard he's been ill."

Her shock must have shown clearly on her, because Neville chuckled as he scanned over her face.

"Trust me Hermione, no matter my own opinions I've already been warned by Ginny, then Luna, and Andromeda." He shrugged his shoulders, "Besides I trust you and your judgment. You wouldn't have befriended him in the first place if you hadn't seen something the rest of us had missed."

Her heart swelled.

"Thank you Neville." She said unable to keep from blushing at his praise.

He nodded with a one shoulder shrug.

"So what was it you needed to talk to me about?"

Neville didn't interrupt her once. In a way it was a relief, in many others she wished he would say something. Instead, she had to watch as his face went from stony to anger to something that hinted at fear mixed with determination.

When she finally finished with a sigh that did nothing to dislodge the weight crushing her chest, she closed her eyes for a moment before she asked.

"I need to know if you've noticed anything that might…"

Neville shook his head.

"I don't...that day, I barely ever want to remember it."

She bit her lip.

"I mean I knew I felt something when I...did it." Neville said uncomfortable as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "But everything; the sword, my wand they work the same as they always have."

She could feel her hope fading away with every excuse Neville rambled on. It had to be somewhere. It couldn't have vanished into thin air.

"It's fine Neville." She finally managed to choke out with a weak smile. She rubbed her temples, "We'll figure it out. I'm just sorry we had you come all the way here for nothing. I mean we tried your DA coin, but when that didn't work…."

She stopped, suddenly noticing the way Neville's face had twisted into a grimace at mention of the coin protean charm.

"Neville?" She questioned.

He bit his lip, shifting uncomfortably where he stood before her. It was enough to remind her of when they were young and on the way to Potions only for Neville to realize he'd forgotten their essay yet again.

"I haven't been able to use my coin for months."

She felt a flicker then, and she could barely contain her excitement out of her next question.

"Why not?"

Neville was about to answer when the sound of thundering steps echoed down the hall as a small figure dashed toward her. Without hesitation, she bent down and scooped Teddy into her arms.

"Well hello there." She teased the toddler who after his initial excited hug was now squirming in her arms to be put down.

It wasn't long before another figure joined them, and she noted with some measure of relief that it was Padma here to finally check in on Draco. The poor girl seemed to be slightly out of breath from having chased Teddy all the way here.

"Merlin can he run." Padma said with a grin before greeting Neville and turning back to her. "I'm sorry Hermione, but I mentioned coming to see Draco and suddenly this one." She paused tickling Teddy, "Invited himself along."

She shook her head.

"I'm sure Draco won't mind."

She bent down and placed Teddy back onto his two feet before motioning for him to go inside and wake Draco.

"Gently Teddy." She warned, knowing that the child had no intentions of waking Draco gently whether she warned him or not.

To his credit, Teddy nodded solemnly, but no sooner had she shut the door did the sound of his rapid steps and squeal of delight rang out.

She shook her head before turning to Padma and Neville and inviting them in. Neville hesitated, obviously looking uncomfortable at the idea. She smiled slightly before taking his hand and pulling him in behind her.

Neville could become a million times more confident than he'd been as a child, but mention a confrontation with a Slytherin or Draco and back was the hesitant boy from her memories.

Draco was sitting up with Teddy chattering in his lap when they came in.

He still had faint sleep lines on his face, but he seemed alert as he ran a hand through his hair to tame any wayward strands. He looked up quickly as they walked in, though his expression on the odd trio they made revealed nothing. Instead, he stood swiftly, balancing Teddy on his hip as he came to stand with them.

"Padma." He inclined his head at the other girl before turning to Neville. The two boys...men really, looked at one another for a moment. Draco tilted his head as he repositioned Teddy. "Longbottom." He finally said.

Neville visibly relaxed, even going so far as to smile before he returned the gesture.

She bit her lip then.

"Neville and I have figured it out."

Draco stiffened before setting Teddy back on the ground and waving him off to play around in the room.

She ignored Padma's questioning look and watched as Draco instantly turned all business.

"And you have it?" He asked Neville.

At Neville's nod, he continued, "Then we do them together. Destroy it and break Potter's curse at the same time, but they should be-"

"Physically separated." She finished, "Opposite ends of base if possible."

Draco nodded with a thin smile at his face. Their eyes met and for a moment she forgot they were not alone. All that even entered her thoughts was how relieved Draco looked, and how much lighter she felt at the prospect that this could be over as soon as the end of the week.

But then she started to notice all those tell tale signs she'd learned to look for. The slightest shake in his legs, the tightness around his eyes, and the clench of his fists in discomfort.

She went up to him and threaded her arm beneath his, taking part of his weight without a word.

"Padma would-"

"Of Course."

* * *

Hermione was practically bouncing with excitement. It brought a smile onto his lips watching her eyes light up with plans and hope.

She'd been so confused the night before about Nott, about the war, and though she usually hid it well she was worried about him.

He tried never to draw attention to himself in that way. It was an old skill, born in the Slytherin Common Room and then refined for his performance among the Death Eaters, but there were times, no matter how hard he wanted too, he simply couldn't.

This morning was one of those times. This thing inside him had been burning like hot iron against his insides, sending knives into his muscles with each movement he made.

The shower had helped though.

Truly just sitting with Hermione was soothing, and maybe he was a sap or foolish for believing it, but she was far more comforting than any of the potions he'd been prescribed.

But being with Hermione wasn't going to heal him.

He refused to do a cleanse. Not until the battle was over, and knowing that the battle would soon happen he felt relieved.

Waiting was a risk and the more his strength failed the more unlikely it was that he would be able to participate in the way he knew he had too.

He'd poured over books upon books on the research Voldemort had done, and he knew for a fact that very few would even be capable of handling the defences he and Hermione had in mind.

Even with their short cut using runes, those rune would have to be etched and power had to be leant to them.

He could count the number of people he thought could handle such a feat on his hands, and from those he knew not all would fight.

Andromeda for one would not be able too. His cousin had already lost too much family, and with Draco adamant about fighting that left Andromeda to be the responsible one. A shame, since her skills would be missed on the battlefield.

With enough time and concentration they might have stood better odds, but the way he saw it at least two powerful wizards or witches with little practice casting for each rune was better than nothing, but for the boundary to last a few of the points would have to be stronger than others.

And he knew he'd have to be one of them.

He arguably was the most familiar with this type of magic. On any normal day, he'd have been able to cast one powerful enough on his own. The window in which he knew he'd still be capable of doing such a thing was rapidly closing though. The knowledge had led him to concoct a backup plan.

He eyed Padma from where she was reviewing her notes and chatting quietly with Hermione about him. He would need some help to pull off what he was scheming.

He let out a breath, running his hands through Teddy's soft hair from where the little bugger had come up and nestled into his side after tiring himself out playing.

He could feel a pair of eyes on him, and after ensuring Teddy was well on his way to sweet dreams, he turned his gaze to meet Longbottom's.

It was quite a transformation, he could begrudgingly admit, from clumsy shy Gryffindor to the gentle though skilled battle hardened man standing before him.

He'd be damned if he ever admitted such a thing out loud though.

Longbottom was studying him intently, and didn't show any discomfort at Draco's notice.

"You're more accepting than I thought you'd be given our history." Draco finally said, low enough for the two girls not to hear, but loud enough for Longbottom to pick up on it.

The other shrugged.

"I think it's because of our history I'm not so surprised. After all what's more cunning and ambitious than someone who constantly decides to do the most shocking and impossible thing anyone could expect of him?"

He cleared his throat. "Sounds like a compliment."

"It's more a fact."

Draco shrugged, not really wanting to waste time on semantics.

Longbottom had gone back to watching him and after clearing his throat he spoke.

"They say you've been working for us since the beginning."

He raised his brow, content to wait for Longbottom to actually voice the question he wanted answered rather than ramble about whatever it was the other was curious about.

"Had you been here or any of the other bases before?"

He kept his surprise off his face. That was certainly not the question he thought was coming.

He shifted slightly in his seat, minding Teddy's head who had continued to slumber on despite the conversations going on around him.

"No. I was vaguely aware of things, but with my position it was always better to not know just in case."

He thought he saw some sort of unspeakable and unrecognizable emotion flash across Longbottom's face for a moment before he nodded in understanding.

"You really ought to see them. Maybe visit Ireland some time."

He shook his head, confused at the strange sentiment and would have grilled an answer out of him had Hermione not chosen that moment to turn back to them.

She smiled down at Teddy's slumbering form before bending and carefully picking up the child into her hands. She paused, kissing his forehead before straightening.

"I'm going to go ahead and take this one back to Andromeda." She said, "Then I'm going to tell Harry. We'll have to set up a meeting and start drawing up plans for our attack and the protection barrier."

She positioned Teddy to free her one hand and used it to comb through his fringe.

"Probably in two hours. Padma should be done with you by then."

His eyes shot over to Padma and back to Hermione, and without having to ask the question Hermione answered.

"I think you should get a full look over Draco." She bit her lip, her hand dropping to cup his jaw. "For the pain to be this bad already isn't a good sign love."

He covered her hand with his in surprise as he searched her face for some sign. He'd thought he'd done a decent job in covering that up at least.

"Hermione." He said softly suddenly feeling incredibly guilty at the sight of her eyes glassing over. She blinked and her smile was back firmly on her face.

"It's alright." She said, "But be honest with Padma, Draco."

He nodded numbly as Hermione kissed his forehead again before turning and taking Neville by the hand and leaving the room.

He watched the door shut and felt himself grow cold at her absence.

"You only worry her more this way."

He let out a breath before he turned his head to face Padma.

"I don't mean too. I'm just not very good at-"

"The weakness thing." Padma finished crossing her arms before summoning a chair and sitting in front of him. "So I gathered."

He shook his head.

"I just don't like being told there's something I can't do." He eyed her then, "Which is what I sense you're about to tell me."

Padma didn't contest his accusations, instead she raised her brow as though waiting for him to continue.

"You're not going to clear me for the battle." He finally said.

Padma let out a tired sigh. "You know I shouldn't, but I'm sure you've come up with a plan against that."

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

He'd thought for sure he'd have to argue most for why she should even agree to clear him. His plan though...now that he was sure there would be arguments against.

"Deadman's Happiness."

Her shock was clear as she sat forward.

"Are you insane?"

He winced, his hand at his temple. He'd certainly wondered that enough himself. Shitty dreams, crazy visions, and deranged plans. Surely that spelled insane in some fashion.

Padma seeing the gesture immediately clasped her jaw closed, growing solemn.

"I can't give you that Draco. If the high that potion gives you drops off while you're in the middle of a duel-"

"I can alter it." He cut in, "Make it last 8 hours."

She bit her lip searching his face. "Does Hermione know what you're planning?"

He shook his head. "And Healer-patient confidentiality says you won't tell her either."

Padma only nodded once more. No doubt she'd already guessed he would manipulate her that way.

Draco shook his head, running his hands through his hair as he lent forward his elbows balanced on his knees.

"I'm just trying to buy 8 hours. That's it, afterwards I'll leave the battle if it's not already over. Stay in the hospital wing. Get the cleanse. All of it. Just please." he choked out, "Please help me do this."

Padma looked up startled by his sudden desperation. She was blinking furiously as she took a long deep breath to steady her breathing.

"Why do you want to fight so bad?"

He cleared his throat, dropping his gaze from Padma's dark eyes to his clasped hands.

"I have too because, once upon a time I would have let this world exist, and now I need to stop it from ever becoming permanent; for Hermione, my Aunt, Teddy, Blaise, Theo, Pansy-" his voice broke, "for my mother."

His breath was coming in trembling gasps, and he couldn't believe he was showing so much to Padma. Though, at this point, he wasn't sure he cared. He wasn't above emotional manipulation if it would get him Padma's help. Even if all of said emotions were true.

"Draco."

He looked up slowly, taking in her determined expression.

"I'll help you, but," She held up her hand, cutting him off before he could speak, "8 hours only and you agree to a trace in case something happens."

He wanted to argue. A trace? What was he a child? But seeing Padma's set brow and warning gaze, he knew this concession was the best he would get.

"Fine." He agreed. He stood stiffly, resisting the urge to moan at the pain that shot up his legs at the motion.

"We better start brewing."


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: It's been nearly a year since I first started writing this story, and here we are at the end. Thank you to all you wonderful readers that have followed this story since the beginning. I hope you loved as much as I did while writing it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Quotes from Homer's Iliad.

* * *

 _Draco blinked and let his eyes adjust as he took in the room around him. The familiarity was startling as he quickly put together just where he was. He'd know this room anywhere. A small sitting room in the Manor meant for use in the family rather than a room meant to be shown off to guests._

 _He sat back against the soft loveseat before he turned his head and his gaze flitted out the window to his left._

 _The Gardens._

 _He smiled slightly as he recognized the rows upon rows of flowers before he felt a pang of sadness at the thought of their current ruined state._

 _He was only just beginning to question why on earth he'd dreamt this when the faint sound of a door opening and light footsteps forced his head to turn away from the window._

 _He stiffened at the sight of his mother._

 _These dreams. Her._

 _He was beginning to grow frustrated at himself for being unable to decipher the meaning behind them._

 _In truth, he'd long been dreams always seemed to carry a double meaning, and he swore that his mother seemed more aware of his presence than a memory ought to. Then there was his brief excursion behind the veil with his godfather and his aunt's reaction at his mention of these dreams…_

 _There was something about his mother's death that he was missing. Something about what had happened that day…_

 _His thoughts were interrupted as his mother came and sat, placing the tea tray in her hands on the table to her side._

" _I'm glad you came down to join me. You'll be back at school soon enough, and then I won't be able to see you." She said softly._

 _Her words forced him to straighten as he placed the memory. The summer before his last year...right before he'd left and she'd been taken away._

 _There was so much he wanted to say. To just break the memory and simply ask, no demand, she talk to him as he suspected she was capable of. To answer his questions and solve this mystery...but instead he felt an indescribable sadness and the fear of everything that had happened... of everything that would happen when he woke…_

" _I'm scared Mum." He whispered._

 _Narcissa stilled looking up for a moment, her own blue eyes sparkling with a brightness that wasn't there a moment before. She stood swiftly and before he could process it she'd pulled him into a tight hug, letting him bury his face in her embrace. He closed his eyes inhaling her scent. Gods how he'd missed this._

" _I know love. I know." She murmured stroking his hair in a way that was reminiscent of childhood and nightmares that woke him in the middle of a stormy night._

" _But darling you're so much braver than you give yourself credit for. You'll be alright."_

 _He shook his head, a different kind of determination coming over him now._

" _Mum. This is real isn't it?"_

 _Narcissa looked at him sharply, her eyes dancing across his face._

 _She didn't answer, but her silence was enough to prompt his next words._

 _This had definitely not been in the memory._

" _Where are you? Are you trapped?"_

 _Narcissa cupped her hands along his jaw._

" _You know love that I'm never far from you."_

" _That's not a real answer."_

 _She smiled slightly._

" _You have always been too smart for your own good." She sighed, "If I could tell you more, I would." She shook her head, her eyes glassy once more._

" _My dragon you'll be alright until I see you again." She murmured before pressing a kiss to his temple, "Keep safe."_

His eyes fluttered open.

"Always." He murmured, pressing his fingers to his temple.

He turned slightly catching sight of Hermione stirring beside him.

She turned to her side, cuddling closer to him. She let out a breath as her eyes fluttered open for a moment.

"Draco?" she mumbled reaching out and wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him into her, "What's the matter love?"

He shook his head, taking her into his own arms.

"Just a dream."

She murmured something he couldn't quite make out before she turned her head up to meet his eyes. She blinked slowly, still half asleep but wanting to focus on him. "You're feverish." She said.

He smiled slightly pressing soft kisses to her forehead.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep."

She shook her head before dropping it to rest on his shoulder and not even a minute later she'd drifted right back to sleep.

He sighed, tracing his fingers up and down her arm that was still firmly around his waist wishing he could fall back to dreams the same way.

* * *

It had been a strange morning to say the least. From the moment Hermione had woken up she could feel how the air around base had changed. There was a certain mix of anticipation and dread as the hours seemed to stretch slowly before them.

They'd be in the midst of battle soon.

Troops were already amassing in the nearby area and Hogwarts itself was seeing more activity in the last few hours than it had in the last 2 years.

Voldemort was going to strike them whether they were ready or not it seemed. Though with the 2 hour meeting they'd sat through yesterday they couldn't hope to be more prepared than they already were.

They'd drawn their positions for enacting their protective wards and planned the three waves of attack the resistance would launch at the castle.

They'd even planned to destroy the last horcrux and remove Harry's curse at the same time.

Yet, all of this did nothing to diminish the anxious energy that had gripped her since opening her eyes to morning.

Her eyes slid to the clock in the room as the hand approached 8am.

She let out a breath.

Draco had gone to Padma and after that he'd head to the other end of base with Ron, Neville, and Blaise in order to contain and destroy the horcrux. She would be breaking Harry's curse with Ginny and Theo at her side just in case…

She clenched her fists. She was confident she could do it, and in truth she felt guilty she wasn't more nervous. No. Her nerves were for everything after. Fighting. Not seeing Draco until the throes of the battle or after…

He'd known too. Felt it just as strongly. This morning had been proof of that. Kisses that had turned into wandering hands that had turned into the worshiping of bodies and a tangle of limbs.

Merlin that boy made her heart ache.

She shook her head wrapping her arms around her middle.

Gods let this go alright.

She scarcely thought of anything else until the door to the room opened and the rest of her team filled in.

She took out her wand and drew upon every scrap of bravery she still possessed in order to give Harry a reassuring smile.

"Ready?" she asked.

Harry looked at her, straightening with a determined expression on his face.

"As much as I'll ever be ." he murmured in reply before slipping out of his shirt and laying flat on his stomach on the stretcher she'd conjured.

Ginny came in closer gripping his hand tightly. She blinked, quickly averting her gaze to afford the couple a bit of privacy when she felt an arm settle across her shoulders pulling her in tight.

She let out a breath, and Theo flashed her a thin smile.

"You'll do fine." he said softly, "Now what do you want us to do?"

She nodded, relieved for his distraction and the opportunity to simply throw herself into actions instead of lingering and letting her thoughts run away from her.

"A protection ward. I don't know if there are any retaliation spells woven into this block, but better we be safe." She said, "And watch Harry. If it starts to be too much and we have to stop, his safety is priority."

Theo nodded dropping his arm and gently nudging her forward as Ginny tore herself away from Harry to flank the side opposite Theo.

"Here we go." she murmured as she began the spell and after a moment placed her wand's tip in the center of Harry's back.

He didn't scream.

She felt awful that she was grateful of the fact. Her vision blurred as unshed tears filled her eyes as Harry shook and twitched under her wand. She kept her voice as steady as she could as she continued to chant and trace the rune into Harry's skin.

Just a little longer.

The air thickened around them as her magic poured out of her and the block around Harry seemed to flare to life at being threatened.

Her marks were thin, surface level that when they'd scar they'd become thin light lines you'd have to squint to see them, but the more she made the worse she felt.

This is for Harry. This is for Harry.

Light continued out of her wand tracing the marks she had as she completed the rune.

She closed the mark and felt her breath catch as she fought against the block. The magic was running wild, flaring and fighting with her as it saw fit.

She vaguely made out yelling behind her, but the words were too faint to understand from the roaring in her ears.

Her hair flew around her as she pushed her own magic back and after a moment she felt a give. She let out a breath of relief before one last blast of magic sent her spiraling backwards as she ended the spell.

"Hermione." Theo fell beside her checking her over as she lifted herself up with a groan.

"I'm fine Theo." She stood slowly accepting his hand to steady herself.

She immediately ran over to Harry who seemed to have passed out momentarily.

Ginny had turned him over and propped his head as he groggily muttered to himself.

"Harry?"

He blinked and his gaze seemed to focus as he pulled himself up.

"How do you feel Harry?"she said placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

He let out a breath before he glanced at Ginny who without a word handed him his wand.

He clenched it tight before muttering under his breath and a lumos lit up the tip.

A sly smile spread across his face.

"Perfect."

* * *

Draco had to say that the dream he'd had this morning had certainly set the tone for the rest of the day. It had been one hurdle after another all edged with that familiar feeling of dread and determination that were so potent his own stomach was doing flips at their taste.

He and Padma had finished the potion soon after he'd woken the second time this morning. He'd of course gotten one more lecture on that.

He hadn't expected anything less. Deadman's Happiness was a risky potion that was liable to leave you in a state 10 times worse than you were before with the stipulations that no other interacting potions be taken before or immediately after.

He'd forgone taking it now. He wanted his 8 hours to start on the field not here.

He winced at the next onslaught of smoke.

He was on his way to regretting that decision right about now.

He watched as Weasley continued to struggle with the sword still pressing into the coin.

His arm was throbbing at the dark magic bleeding into the air and still more was coming. This wasn't good. Even at this distance a few feet away his head was starting to spin, and he swore there were whispers of traitorous thoughts that weren't his own sounding in his ears.

And he certainly wasn't the only one affected either.

Weasley was sporting a look that could only be described as pure torture, and Longbottom wasn't doing much better.

He huffed as his vision swam for a minute.

His containment wards would fail soon at this rate. He could hardly keep them for much longer.

He turned to catch Blaise's eye.

"Take the spell." He called out and at Blaise's nod he took off toward Weasley.

The closer he stepped the heavier his head grew as visions flooded his sight. He could see death and turmoil and the burning of several places and people he loved.

But he'd seen such things before.

He grit his teeth and threw up his Occlumency shields.

"I won't let you scare me anymore than I already am." He muttered as the howling in his ears increased until he could just about grasp the sword still in Weasley's hand.

Without thinking, her reached out and grabbed the hilt just above where the other had his hands.

Weasley blinked, momentarily brought back to awareness at the disturbance.

"On three." he shouted out and at his nod he began counting.

"One…"

 _This is for taking over my house._

"Two."

 _This is for destroying my family._

"Three." He screamed out as the two of them thrust the sword down hard hearing a crack as the coin split in two.

 _Rot in hell you bastard._

They both stepped back letting the sword fall with a clank to the floor as they caught their breaths.

Weasley straightened, meeting his gaze. He bit his lip before offering Draco a curt nod.

He returned it resisting the urge to smirk.

It seemed he'd won himself another Gryffindor ally. Hermione would be pleased.

He nearly laughed at the notion when he felt a sharp stab at his temples that brought him down to his knees.

Flashes of Hogwarts, the earth trembling, and the sound of a blood curling scream rang in his ears as he snapped his shields back up panting at the effort it took.

He blinked nearly an eternity later before a familiar dark face came into focus in front of him.

Blaise's hands were gripping his shoulders, steadying him as he deflated in relief at his focused gaze.

"He's here." He croaked out, "He's here and he knows."

* * *

They all stood nearly shoulder to shoulder glancing out at the forest before them. Hermione's eyes drifted up to the sky and the dark and angry clouds that had blocked out any semblance of blue or the sun from sight. It looked like a storm was brewing, but it was cold enough to snow. Though not a flake was visible.

She shook her head, wondering if perhaps even the weather could sense the turmoil going on on the ground and had turned to match it. She shivered at the icy breeze running through the trees and ruffling their hair as she reached out and took Draco's hand.

She could feel the ground trembling, no doubt from the many duels that had broken out in the minutes it had taken for Voldemort to realize what they'd done and order the first wave of attacks on Hogwarts and the surrounding area.

Kingsley had already positioned their fighters out around them.

They were all that were left lingering by base.

Even the healers had gone, taking anyone who wasn't sure of their fighting skills but wanted to help with healing with them to sparse camps at every point around the area.

She'd wished Padma well as she left wanting, if only a moment, to speak to the girl about the quiet blonde at her side. There hadn't been time. With the hectic arrival of others from around their other bases, the chaos had been too much to talk over.

She tore her eyes from the sky and glanced at the strange bunch they made.

Theo was at her right, clutching Daphne's hand. Something he hadn't stopped doing since she arrived not five minutes before.

Then Blaise and Luna, Ron and Pansy, Ginny and Harry, and of course Draco on her left.

Though that wouldn't be for long.

They were going in pairs to each of the specified points before joining the battle, and to increase their odds they'd decided to split from one another.

They were the most capable at forming the runes, and splitting up meant two points with strong wards instead of just one.

Though she wondered if she could handle the separation. They hadn't been apart for so long in some time, and now she was even more worried at not seeing him throughout the battle much less the end of it.

She heard the others offering goodbyes as they went to stand next to their assigned partners.

Draco clutched her hand tighter.

"Hermione…"

"I love you." She rushed, not wanting to hear what he was surely going to say. She couldn't bear to hear him talk about the possibility of not meeting her at the end of this. It wasn't an option that she was willing to entertain.

He looked pained for a moment before pulling her roughly toward him and covering her mouth with his. He was rough, desperate at first, and she matched him move for move in a way that she was sure they were leaving bruises on each other's lips.

Then it changed, growing soft. Growing gentle as he threaded his hands through the length of her curls and settling at the small of her back.

"I love you." he murmured breaking away and leaving his forehead touching hers.

"Keep safe, and I'll see you in the battle to the very end of this." She said firmly letting her hands travel from around his jaw down his neck and resting in the center of his chest.

"Hermione." He said softly, "Love please-"

"I'll see you." She said firmly before pecking him quickly and going to stand by Blaise as Luna drifted to take her place by her cousin.

She forced her gaze forward knowing that if she looked back at him it would be the end of her.

She saw Blaise out of the corner of her eye shoot Draco a glance before he took her hand into hers.

"Let's do this."

* * *

 _Any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again._

It was a strange set of words for her to be thinking about now as she trudged with Blaise to the eastern edge of the forest to set their rune. Poetic in their own way considering they hailed from the very text that had put her on this journey towards war and love.

The girl she had been a few short years ago, the cold and logical girl that had set Snape's robes on fire and cursed Marietta Edgecombe with horrid lettering on her face, would have laughed at her sentimentality.

She'd grown up loved, but unable to express her emotions...unable to understand such things that were not purely formulaic.

Knowing she might die, fighting in Hogwarts, torture under a mad woman's wand, to eventually the mandatory psychiatry sessions Kingsley had each of the Battle of Hogwarts survivors go through during the standstill years had left her forever changed.

These bonds she'd managed to form and her experiences through war had softened her.

She looked grimly around before clearing the ground around them from wayward branches and marking her circle.

She was worried now that perhaps she'd become too soft too soon.

She let out a short prayer as she crouched down to her knees and signaled Blaise to begin the spell.

They'd decided this long before.

He would cast, and she would draw.

She pooled her magic, a few choice spells on her lips until it lit a bright red at the tip of her wand, and she placed it into the earth.

She felt Blaise's magic entwine with hers as he wove protections spells into her lines that she drew. She moved slowly, taking in the bright red color her wand work left amongst the grass and dirt.

There it was again.

Poetic.

Coloring the ground red before any blood had been shed.

She connected her marks into the symbol Draco had shown her before taking her wand from the ground and making a small incision on her hand and letting a few drops of her own blood bind her incantations.

Opposite her, Blaise did the same.

This had been a point of argument amongst them.

Blood wards.

They were powerful, lasting, and extremely difficult to break, but they bordered on the darker end of magic.

It was worth the risk though, if their wards lasted the whole battle and then some.

She stood watching the mark she'd carved glow for a moment before sending out bursts of light to the north, west, and south that faded as it grew further from them.

The ward was set.

She turned to Blaise and without a word they broke out into a run toward the sound of fighting near the heart of Hogwarts grounds.

* * *

 _Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier; I have seen worse sights than this._

Draco forced his gaze forward and resisted the scream in his bones to join the fighting that had now edged very close to the path he and Luna were taking to their point of the ward.

It wasn't just the need to go fight. There was an even greater need to disappear into the chaos of duels in order to find Hermione.

She hadn't let him say goodbye, and he couldn't help but love her and hate her for that.

"Draco." Luna said softly, taking him by the hand and pulling him to the clearing that would serve as the home for their rune.

He squeezed her hand tight as she looked up at him with a thin smile.

"You should take that potion now."

He blinked, on some level not too surprised that Luna had known about the vial that lay shrunken and protected in his pocket.

With a quick nod, he dropped her hand and grabbed it, downing it in a single gulp.

He closed his eyes, feeling his core settle for the first time in months as warmth spread from his toes to his head.

He let out a breath.

The clock had started then.

Luna smiled sadly at him and pressed a kiss to his temple before she drew her wand and began casting.

He bit his lip before drawing his own wand and dropping to his knees as he began to draw.

It felt so strange really. The way everything had ended up playing out.

He'd always been fascinated by magic. Even growing up around it hadn't dampened his wonder or curiosity.

The resources of his family of course only aided that drive in him. He'd had all the material to research, to learn, and of course runes were a huge component of that. They were all over Malfoy Manor; in the walls, paintings, the grounds themselves.

His grandfather before he died had told him that there was magic so old buried into the Malfoy lands that even the family had forgotten what it was for.

It had doomed his childhood for sure, turning him into an inquisitive academic at such a young age with matters not helped when he grew sick because of an infection caused by magic gone astray.

It had led him here.

In the back of his mind he was free to wonder what that long line of ancestors he had would think about him taking all their knowledge and using it against a cause many of them would have supported in earnest.

He supposed it didn't matter, either way he'd always been intimately familiar with rebellion.

His magic hummed at his palms as he worked and lit up brightly as Luna's wove its way into his. It glowed brighter for a moment after the drops of their blood was added, the red deepening before it pulsed out to connect with the other points of their ward.

He stood and looked at Luna.

"Have you seen anything?" He said then, knowing that she'd understand what he meant.

Her face softened from the warrior like determination she'd been sporting.

"Besides the Wrackspurts above the castle, nothing." She pursed her lips, "But that's ok."

He closed his eyes letting out a tired breath before opening them and flashing her a thin smile.

"Yeah it is." He said as they both turned and headed down where they were immediately swept into fighting.

* * *

He was almost disconnected from his movements. He was somewhat aware of all the decisions he was making but the rush of a spell. Any feeling for each familiar face he brought down...that wasn't there.

He could hear the pound of his heart and occasionally he'd let his eyes wander to watch Luna who was holding her own as she ferociously fought one person after another.

He took a few cuts from a stray cutting hex, and the battle he'd waged against Avery had led to him being tossed to the side roughly and cracking a rib on impact. Though, overall the potion was certainly doing it's job.

He hadn't tired yet.

The rhythm seemed so familiar and easy to follow.

A least it was until one voice cut through the cacophony of noise around him.

"Call me what you want I'm not afraid of you."

Hermione.

* * *

Hermione panted as she ducked out of the way of another stray spell. Hogwarts was in chaos, and it was hard to tell which side was claiming victory for the time being.

It was clear though that this time the fight seemed even.

Those stray thoughts; though, distracted her as a spell finally connected, and she was thrown on her back against the rubble.

"I remember you."

She shivered; the urge to vomit strong at the whiff of bad breath that filled her nostrils.

Greyback smiled with all teeth as he crouched over her, sniffing and looking as much the feral beast he was without being fully transformed.

"I remember you from before. Threw me off that nice smelling pureblood." He continued, his voice hoarse as his wand found the pulse point of her throat.

He leaned in closer, sniffing and to her horror licking her skin beneath her ear.

"You taste so good for a dirty mudblood bitch."

She squirmed beneath his grasp, but he'd pinned her arms and the cutting hexes she was managing to cast wandlessly were doing nothing against him.

Finally, she squirmed enough to free her leg and kicked up at him just as a figure pulled Greyback off her by the collar.

He roared turning on the figure.

"What's the matter with you Nott?" He growled, "Too anxious to wait your turn?"

She scrambled to her feet, her wand already out.

Nott Sr. looked furious, an angry vein popping at his temple.

"Stay away from my daughter." He said lowly before he fired spell after spell tossing Greyback around like a rag doll.

She blinked before swallowing a lump and vowing to herself that she would at least try to connect with the enigmatic man her biological father was after the battle.

At least as a thank you for this.

She turned, not bothering to dust herself off before a voice brought her to a halt in her tracks.

"Well if it isn't Potter's Mudblood."

She shivered, her eyes widened as she whirled around and was met face to face with Bellatrix.

The woman's face was pinched in and the signs of stress had aged her a great deal since she'd last seen her.

The sneer was the same though as she stalked toward her.

"No screaming this time? No pleas and lies to fling at me." Bellatrix taunted before her face hardened, "What have you done to my nephew you Mudblood whore?"

She willed herself not to flinch, not to lose herself in the memories that were forcing her heart to race and breathing to quicken.

"Call me what you want I'm not afraid of you." She said tilting her chin up.

Bellatrix growled throwing a Cruciatus her way. She dodged it and quickly sent a spell of her own back in retaliation, and soon they were in a full out duel.

She was just managing to get the upper hand when Bellatrix knocked her off her feet and rapidly sent a Cruciatus. She shook, trembling at the hot knives the curse was using to cut into her every fiber.

"You really were no match." Bellatrix hissed and if possible the crucio grew even more hot at her added anger.

Her vision was blurring and the edges just beginning to darken when Bellatrix was tossed to the side by a spell cast behind her.

She blinked willing herself to focus, but unable to make out more than a white blonde haired blob walking to put themselves between her and Bellatrix.

"Really Bella, you should know better than to play with your food."

She stiffened swallowing the protest in her limbs as she crawled up to her knees to get a better look.

As it turned out she didn't need to see to have it confirmed.

"Mum?"

* * *

Draco froze, his wand out with spell on his lips to throw at his aunt, but it quickly died out as he took in the sight before him.

He felt Luna curl her hand around his arm as she whispered for him to remain calm, but any other words were lost to him.

There she was, haggard a little too thin but with her blonde hair gleaming as she kept her wand trained on her sister.

"Mum." He choked out once more wanting more than anything to walk forward, but sure that if he did this illusion he was seeing would shatter.

Narcissa turned to him a bright smile on her lips as she took him in hungerly.

"Hello darling." she whispered fondly before she hardened her gaze and turned back to Bellatrix, who had paled at the sight of her sister seemingly risen from the dead.

"How? You were dead." Bellatrix trembled.

"Nearly, by your hand no less." Narcissa said icily as she walked closer to the other, "But you see dear sister it wasn't your spell that hit me first." Her lips pursed into a cruel sneer, "It was Lucius's."

He couldn't say what happened after that only that one minute the two Black sisters were facing each other caught in some deep staring contest and the next they were hurling dark curses at one another.

"We should get to Hermione." Luna said then tugging at his arm no doubt in response to his unconscious step toward the duel.

He shook his head, before pulling them both to Hermione who was still struggling to get back onto her feet.

"Easy love." He said pulling her up and into his chest murmuring healing spells as she hugged him tight.

Luna was rummaging in her pockets, pulling out a multitude of shrunken vial that she handed to him as he worked.

He was torn watching the blur of the two figures.

 _Mum. Mum. Mum._

"Draco." Hermione stood straighter the potions and spells having done their job. "Your mum."

"I know." He swallowed clutching her tight. "You?"

"I'm fine." she said firmly turning her eyes at the two witches in wonder.

He was about to pull away and go help his mother when he saw the blur of his father come in from the left and knock Bellatrix to the side where she fell limply against a boulder.

At that he took off running and didn't stop until he had thrown his arms around her, practically crying in relief at the solid feel of her beneath his grasp.

"Draco." She murmured holding him tight. "Merlin I've missed you my love."

He pulled away.

"But you were dead. There was a funeral..I"

"That would be my doing."

He spun to face Lucius who was looking between him and his mother with a look that couldn't be described as anything but relief.

"Lucius cast a spell on me, a mix of a protection ward and a stunning spell and sent me to the Order." Narcissa said cupping her hand on his jaw.

"But 2 years." his voice trembled.

"Bella's spell rebounded. Bits of it interfered, and I was in a coma for quite sometime. They didn't think I would ever wake."

He frowned before the pieces finally fell together. "Andromeda knew." He said accusingly.

Narcissa only smiled in response. "Let's not worry about that now love."

He was about to protest when he felt an arm slip through his.

"Draco." Hermione warned.

He could feel his mother's questioning gaze, but ignored it as his eyes zoomed in on a figure that had pulled away and come to stand in the center of the chaos around them.

Potter.

"Fuck." He heard Hermione mutter, and resisted the urge to smile at her cursing.

"You're a coward Tom Riddle. I'm here, exposed, and still you hide behind all your followers" Potter shouted, "Surely you're not scared of me?"

"Potter has a death wish." he muttered to Hermione, who simply pinched him in response.

He gripped her tighter as the temperature around them suddenly dropped and a hissing sound could be heard.

"You are so foolish in your bravery."

Heads turned toward the school as the front doors opened and dark robes could be seen.

"What has it brought you but death?"

He felt his mark flare then as the snake bastard stepped fully outside, training his beady eyes to Potter.

He felt his anxiety mounting as the Voldemort continued to walk slowly out toward Potter, circling him in a manner similar to the way a predator might a prey.

His wand throbbed painfully in his hands as though sensing the battle and wanting to play a part in the destruction.

He'd offered it to Potter, the power of the Elder Wand, but he'd insisted that this time it simply be two wizards with two wands.

He didn't like those odds.

It wasn't long before the first spell was cast and chaos had descended once more over the battlefield.

He pulled himself from Hermione's side and quickly disillusioned himself as he stalked toward the duel raging in the center of the madness.

He was impressed. Two years out of action hadn't dulled Potter's skills, but would it be enough?

He waited and just as he saw that familiar flash of green light come, he cast a protection spell against Potter that would rebound the curse tenfold. Then it played out like a vision he'd once had.

He stood behind Potter as he called out to disarm the Dark Lord. As the wand flew through the air, he felt his own flare up to the light still coming from it, connecting it and leading it back in the direction it had come instead of dying out without the castor's direction.

He held his breath as the spell connected and knocked Voldemort back into the wall of the castle his body falling limply to the ground.

He tightened his grip and without thinking he'd broken his Disillusionment spell and the body of the very bastard who'd successfully made his life a living hell for years was set aflame.

Potter turned, shock clear on his face with an eyebrow raised at his dramatic antics.

Then, like a man possessed, Potter began to laugh stumbling toward him.

"It's over." he choked out.

He felt a lump in his own throat form at the sentiment.

Potter's grin widened, and he found his own lips twisting upwards as Potter thrust the Elder Wand into his hands.

"Yours."

He took it gingerly, feeling that same power a hundredfold in his own palm.

He could feel Potter and countless others watching him, and for a moment he wondered what would happened it he kept the wand.

Nothing good.

He'd seen power and the corruption it caused. He'd seen it, and he'd felt it poison him on the inside.

There were better ways, better things in life.

Without hesitation he snapped the wand, letting the pieces fall at his feet.

Potter met his eyes, that same ridiculous grin on his face as he inclined his head at him.

He returned the gesture letting his eyes fall back down to the broken wand at his feet as Potter ran off in the other direction and embraced Ginny.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt the familiar weariness settle in his bones as a weight in his chest was lifted.

Done.

Finally done.

He looked up and smiled before turning toward the sound of someone calling his name. He was about to step forward when he felt his feet stick to the ground.

No.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He was petrified where he stood.

"You're a traitor to your House." He made out his aunt screaming as she came toward, "To your blood! And I wash myself of your filth."

He couldn't even blink. Breathe. Move. He was powerless to even duck away to avoid the spell as it came soaring towards him.

 _It's not green though._

He must have missed something because in the next second he could blink and he felt someone ram into him taking the brunt of the curse just as the rest of it cut into his side up to above his heart.

He gasped as they fell backwards, twisting once they hit the ground to see who had jumped in front of him.

His mouth dropped as he pushed himself up to a crawl.

No.

"Fuck. Lucius." he crawled closer taking in the blood coming from seemingly every bit of skin on his father's body. "No. No. No. Father." He shouted quickly taking his wand and casting every spell he knew to somehow stop the blood from flowing.

He could make out other figures coming to circle them, someone begging him to be healed, but he didn't register any of it. Not the words. Not the voices. Not the blood seeping through his own clothes or the sudden stabbing fire that was spreading through his insides.

He didn't register anything until he felt a firm hand clasp his own that was gripping his wand.

"It's enough Draco."

He blinked as he looked down, tears in his eyes as he took in his father's scarred face.

"It's enough."

"No." he said, not bothering to hide the sobs as he normally would. "I can heal you. I can-"

"No." Lucius said, "You are many things Draco, but a miracle worker is not one of them."

He shook his head. In his heart, he already knew his father was right. This curse was meant to kill on impact, but split between them unevenly it would be drawn out for a few minutes more.

There was so much though. So much between them. So much that had never been said, and here he was grasping at seconds left.

"I'm sorry." he choked out, "I'm so sorry."

Lucius shook his head.

"Don't. Don't ever be." Lucius said, his chest movements dampening with each breath, "It was me. It was always me."

"I forgive you." he whispered, shocked at how true the words rang once they fell from his lips.

Lucius smiled slightly, "That does." He shuddered beneath him, "Make this easier."

He shook, clutching his other hand atop of Lucius's.

Lucius's eyes drifted over his shoulder settling on his mother and felt his heart break further at the sight of the love between his parents. Then, Lucius's gaze drifted further to his right.

To Luna.

"You look like your mother." he whispered keeping his eyes locked with the niece he'd barely acknowledged.

Luna stepped forward nearly crouching beside him.

"She was my sister." Lucius said softly, "My sister, my blood, and I left her...I should have tried harder. I should have-"

"She knew." Luna interrupted, tears in her own gray blue eyes, "She always knew."

Lucius smiled fully at that letting his eyes circle them all once more before one last shuddering gasp left his lips and his hand went limp in his.

His own breaths turned to gasps as he sobbed and his body trembled. He felt his grasp slip as his vision blurred and the need for air suddenly outweighed the urge to sob.

"Draco. Draco."

It was reaching him distorted as the realization of how wet his shirt suddenly was seemed to dawn on him.

"Draco!" He heard someone shout as his vision darkened completely and he slumped forward.

* * *

Hermione woke slowly, wanting nothing more than to bury herself deeper into her blankets and go back to sleep so she could dream.

So she could dream of him.

She swallowed roughly before kicking off her covers and dragging herself to the bathroom for a shower.

Draco had been under for 3 weeks now.

3 painfully long and torturous weeks.

She hadn't left his side the first few days, still in her dirtied clothes and blood stained hands clutching his limp ones as his bandaged chest rose and fell.

He'd lost so much blood and the curse had been burning his insides as it spread when they finally got him to the Healers.

That's when they'd found out about the Deadman's Happiness he'd taken.

She'd wanted to slap him, punch him, shake him silly for going behind her back and taking such a dangerous risk.

But she couldn't.

Padma had been so broken up before she'd easily slipped into Healer mode, stabilizing Draco before ordering an emergency cleanse 24 hours later.

Then they'd left him to rest. Sleep and the power of magical comas would help him not just for recovering from the curse but also in recovering from the cleanse.

So she hadn't left until on the fourth day Narcissa had come in with Andromeda at her side.

She hadn't known what to say to the woman.

The mother of the love of her life that she felt she knew so intimately from Draco's accounts and from the stolen memories she'd witnessed in her journal. In reality, she hadn't known her at all.

So it had been a shock when the woman had pulled her into such a tender embrace and allowed her to cry for an hour before drawing her a bath and putting her to bed with Andromeda's help.

She'd gotten to know Narcissa Malfoy quite well over the last few weeks. She clutched her pendant.

Just as the woman had gotten to know her.

She'd declared her family at the sight of the necklace around her neck, and it had been that way ever since.

Of course, with Narcissa's aid in pulling her out from drowning beside Draco's hospital bed came the realization of the aftermath of war. Her father, Theodore Nott Sr., had been sentenced to 10 years in Azkaban with room for a parole evaluation after 5 years. It had been strange really to say goodbye to him when she'd barely gotten to know him.

She'd stood with Theo, who'd awkwardly shook the man's hand before dropping it quickly. Guards had just come in to take him away when he'd stopped before her.

"Thank you." she'd blurted out.

He'd smiled so sweetly at her in a way that echoed Theo before asking her to write.

She'd already sent 2 letters.

There had been funerals then, visits to other hospital beds, but in all she'd count herself fortunate that the rest of her makeshift family was safe.

A slight grin formed on her face at the thought of a certain redhead member of her family and a dark haired beauty from Draco's getting caught the other day in a supply closet at Headquarters.

Safe and moving on.

It was a beautiful and downright amusing thing.

She pulled her hair into a loose bun before she dressed and stalked toward the hospital wing.

She couldn't bring herself to go to breakfast...to see everyone there and everyone who was not. Nor could she stand the crowding or the constant questions about Draco.

It only fueled her own fears.

She gripped her hands around her middle as she entered the Infirmary. Her feet took her automatically to the bed in the back as she took the free seat and gazed at Draco's peaceful face.

This was probably the best sleep he'd had in years.

Funny, because lately her's had been wretched.

She missed him. The feel of him, everything. She missed him so much sometimes that she'd wake at night in physical pain at not having him beside her.

She glanced around before impulsively slipping off her shoes and lifting up the covers before crawling in quickly.

It would just be for a little while.

She snuggled against him, breathing in that familiar scent as her eyes closed.

She was out in seconds.

* * *

Hermione snuggled closer to the body beside her. It was so warm and felt so comfortable.

She felt something heavy around her waist, and squirmed slightly at the feel of it, only for the grip to tighten around her.

"Mione quit squirming." she heard a rough voice in her ear.

She shot up, her eyes wide as she looked down at Draco rubbing at his face before blinking up at her.

"What-"

"Oh my god." She screeched before enveloping him tightly and pressing desperate kisses all over his face.

"I thought." She sobbed, the tears too quick to resurface, "I thought I'd lost you. Oh gods."

Recovered, Draco pulled her to him, pressing his lips to hers and kissing her hungrily.

"I love you." she whispered in between each breath, "I love you so much."

"I'm here." he whispered back, "Right here. I'm ok."

She shook her head sobbing into his chest when she felt him go rigid at the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Hermione dear. I heard you scream. Is everything…"

Hermione pulled away from Draco, whose arms had gone limp at the sight of his mother. She quickly wiped her face before flashing Narcissa a wide smile and standing as though to make way for the woman to get to her son.

But Narcissa was frozen, eyes wide and unblinking as they darted across Draco's face in disbelief.

A quick glance at Draco showed him in much the same state as he took in a sharp breath of air.

"Mum." Draco murmured, and like that the spell was broken and Narcissa was cradling him much as she'd seen her do in memory.

Draco gripped her tight before she made out his shoulder shaking.

"Mum." he said brokenly as he pulled away tears slipping freely down his face.

Narcissa cupped his jaw, her thumbs wiping away the moisture as it fell.

Draco gripped her arms.

"I hated him. I hated him for so long." He cried.

Narcissa shushed him as he sobbed, before bringing him to her chest.

"I know sweetheart. I know." She whispered, "But you two made it right in the end."

She backed away intent on letting the two have a moment, but it wasn't five minutes later that she heard her name being called.

She turned and took in Draco's tearstained face as he smiled up at her and motioned for her to come closer.

"I know you two have probably already met, but.." He swallowed roughly, "I still feel like I should introduce you."

She smiled taking his hand and squeezing it tight.

"Hermione." he said looking up at her before turning his gaze to Narcissa.

"This is my Mum."

She smiled at Narcissa, noting the unshed tears pooling in the woman's eyes as she smiled widely at her in return.

"And Mum." Draco took a breath, "This is Hermione Granger." He looked up at her before a small smile pulled at his lips, "The girl I'm going to marry one day."

Narcissa smiled before stepping toward them both and planting kisses on their cheeks as she took their free hands into hers.

"I know darling. I know."

 _ **fin.**_

* * *

A/N: And that's the end! I might add an epilogue if there's enough interest in one. As always; Review! Review! Review!


	46. Chapter 46: Epilogue

A/N: And the Epilogue that was promised. Again, thanks to all of you lovely readers! Review and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

 **2 Years Later.**

Hermione stopped, leaning on the old gate before her. Her fingers danced along the metal bars. She wondered for about the millionth time what had possessed her to come here.

She really shouldn't have. She really was meant to be resting…

Her free hand went to her swollen stomach, and like that her motivation returned like a vengeance.

She pushed open the gates and walked slowly into the plot. Her eyes drifted along the stones reading the carved names on each.

A long line. A long legacy. That much hadn't been an exaggeration.

She stopped then, catching sight of the name she'd been searching for.

Lucius Malfoy.

Father and Husband.

 _In the end I was human._

She shifted on her feet as she took in the charmed flowers surrounding the grave. After a moment she drew her wand and transfigured a chair from a bobby pin she pulled from her hair.

She sat down, her hand automatically coming to rest on her stomach as bit of pain flared and quickly faded.

"It must be shocking, having me come here." She began before leaning back on her chair.

"To tell you the truth I'm not quite sure why I am either, but." she bit her lip, "I thought you should know about your grandson. Your portrait...it's not the same."

She laughed then. "But I suppose Narcissa must keep you updated all the time."

She shook her head. It really made for an absurd scene. She really hadn't known the man, and what she had known was a handful of contradictions. Yet, this had been a nagging thought in the back of her mind as she'd progressed with her pregnancy.

She glanced down at her hand as she twisted the ring on her finger.

"I suppose you know Draco and I got married last year." She said softly, "I almost wanted to wait- to make sure, really make sure he was well enough. He...he got so sick. Two cleanses and each one was just more horrible then the next." She blinked quickly at the building moisture in her eyes as she recalled it.

"But you know Draco," She smiled slightly, "He can barely sit still, constantly going. He's wasted no time. He got into the Healer program, and was placed at level 3 out of a 4 level program. He graduates at the end of the year." She rolled her eyes then laughing, "Though he's practically been seeing patients on his own since he was accepted."

Oh yes, that had been an interesting time. The board of directors had scarcely known what to do with ,him after seeing his results, but Draco had felt it was like cheating for them to simply hand him a diploma after only a few short months of studying. He'd added a Potion's mastery to his program of study to lengthen the time, using the argument of also increasing his clinical exposure to compliment his theoretical knowledge.

Nerd. She thought with a bemused smile pulling at her mouth.

"You probably wish he'd take over for you, the family businesses, and he will. He's not ready yet." She murmured twisting her ring again. "He's been seeing a Mind Healer for everything, the visions, even if they have calmed and he's a thousand times better at controlling when and if they come on…" She let out a breath. "He still feels so guilty, but he's getting there. Until then, Narcissa's managing well."

"And that leaves me." She flashed a wide smile.

It had certainly been a whirlwind 2 years.

First, the aftermath of war and the rebuilding. She'd found her parents and though it had taken some time she'd gotten them back. They were still navigating their reconnected relationship. They may have understood her reasoning for the memory charm, but it had still been hard to accept after it was all said and done.

And of course there was Theo and the small family they'd formed together.

Her parents had accepted him with open arms, practically adopting him. Something she was forever grateful for.

He'd fit in quickly. Sunday dinners and holidays. Her mother had practically planned Theo and Daphne 's wedding earlier that year.

Her smile widened remembering it. There had been quite a few weddings recently. Harry and Ginny had all but eloped 7 months after the battle, and rumor had it that Blaise was looking to pop the question soon to Luna.

Draco had admitted that the other man had come and asked for his blessing as Luna's unofficial family head not too long ago.

It was all very sweet.

But those memories were not the ones she thought her father-in-law would be interested in hearing.

"Well my family's obviously grown." She said glancing back to read the name once more. "I started at the University of Magical Law in London not long after the war ended and graduated a few months ago. It surprised a lot of people when I didn't immediately take a job with the Ministry."

She sighed.

"Maybe at one point I would have, but after that war...I don't think the Ministry is the place I need to be to get things done." She laughed to herself at that. "I can put out proposals to the Wizengamot because of the Malfoy family seat." She smirked, "and I do class action and civil service cases the rest of the time. I think, after I've done all I want to do, I'll retire to pro bono work, maybe open up a bookshop as I work on a Mastery of my own. After all, as it stands, your son is entirely two smug about his dual degrees and titles when compared to my measly one. He flaunts it every chance he gets." She laughed.

"I'm so proud of him." She whispered running her stomach, "I'm proud of the life we've built, and part of me wishes you could see it. Meet him." She glanced down at her middle.

"We settled on a name the other day. I gave in to Draco's choice since… well he was just so excited when we found out. I don't think he expected he'd be able to have children after all the potions, and frankly I wasn't sure I would be-" her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and smiled. "But Scorpius here is a miracle. Scorpius Granger Malfoy."

She pulled her wand once more and conjured a single white rose and placed it at the grave.

"I wanted you to meet him, and maybe one day when I can finally convince Draco to come visit with me, you'll see us all. If this one ever does decide to come out that is." She laughed to herself as she stood slowly and re transfigured the chair into her hair pin.

* * *

Draco sighed, running a stray hand through his hair before shrugging his healer robes off and placing them into his locker.

He'd just worked the first 12 hours of his last double shift before he took leave to stay with Hermione. He may have wanted to just work through the next 12 or so hours, but he'd been told in no uncertain terms to take a 2 hour lunch before coming back.

And he had plans apparently.

He shook his head, washing his face in an attempt to freshen up before heading out and entering the cafe across the street.

He smiled slightly as he took a seat with a dark haired woman already at the table.

She turned and flashed him a smile.

"Well you look like shit."

"Thanks Pans." He chortled before looking down and studying the menu.

Pansy rolled her eyes at his antics.

He grinned before gesturing for the waitress and giving his order.

These periodic Slytherin reunions had started not too long after he'd started at St Mungo's. They'd each missed the banter that could only be found amongst themselves, and frankly most of them needed a break from their blunter and often times headstrong counterparts.

He shook his head in amusement before he turned back to Pansy and took in her face. She was biting her lip and idly tapping her fingers.

He sat back.

Pansy ignored his look, busying herself with her menu. "Theo and Blaise should be here soon, and -"

"Pans."

"Daphne's not coming apparently she needed help on something from your mother and Andromeda-"

"Pansy." He said firmly, reaching over and clasping his and over hers.

She let out a breath before looking up to meet his gaze.

"What's wrong Pans?"

She shook her head, biting her lip.

"I saw Millie the other day."

He tilted his head, biting his lip to keep from firing off one of the many questions going through his head.

"We. We talked."

At her hesitance to elaborate a terrible thought flitted to the surface.

"Do you.." He swallowed roughly, "Pans do you still-"

"No." She interrupted quickly, "No." She bit her lip.

"Maybe once, but...but it was supposed to be easy. Fun. A way to stick it to my Mother." She ran her hands through her hair before letting them rest at her shoulders.

"I thought if I saw her again...I don't know. I don't think I could ever forget that she left. I understand it. Forgive it. But she still-"

"Left you." he finished for her.

She nodded.

He studied her face for a moment. "It's closure Pansy."

She smiled slightly, "Yeah. Feels weird."

He barked out a laugh.

"I just. I guess. It's just strange. I mean Ron and I, Millie shouldn't have mattered." She said.

"You and Weasley back together?" He raised a brow.

A sly look pulled at the corners of her mouth.

"We're never really broken up. We're both just too dramatic for our own good."

He scowled at Pansy's smirk.

"Please don't share."

She burst out in laughter as his scowl deepened.

"I'm almost scared to ask."

They both turned to catch sight of Theo and Blaise.

Pansy howled louder as he shook his head with a slight smirk.

"Just don't."

* * *

Hermione sighed as the portkey dropped her in front of the sprawling estate.

Malfoy Manor was nearly unrecognizable now. The entire thing had practically been demolished and rebuilt anew.

Draco and Narcissa had wanted to reclaim their home as their own, every floor had been stripped and redone. Even the grounds felt different.

It didn't completely put her at ease; though, when renovations were done and Narcissa had moved back in with Andromeda and Teddy in tow. She and Draco had moved to a flat and lived there up until the point she'd found out she was pregnant. After that, they'd sold the flat and moved to the Manor both for the space and Narcissa's help. If they would move back out later still remained to be seen. Afterall, blood wards were powerful and such things couldn't be overlooked.

Besides, the gardens alone were worth her initial discomfort.

They were absolutely breathtaking.

She walked slowly down the path from the apparition point toward the main entrance.

The doors opened for her automatically, and she continued down the hall to the sitting room to the side.

She paused listening to the squeal of Teddy's laughter before she pushed open the door.

"Oh Hermione, I'd wondered where you'd gone off to."

She smiled in greeting to Narcissa and strode over to join the congregate of ladies around her.

Her mother-in-law was still very much a socialite, though, the crowd she tended to invite was vastly different than before.

Luna sat by her aunt with Andromeda to the side followed by Daphne, Ginny, and even Molly Weasley was there.

"You really shouldn't be exerting yourself too much." Narcissa chided before moving to the side and motioning her to have a seat.

Hermione grinned before stopping to plant a kiss on Teddy's head and did the same to 2 year old Victorie before she finally did sit.

She rubbed her stomach at the twinge of pain before falling easily into conversation with the others.

Luna was back from her recent expedition in South Africa, hinting that this time her stay may be a little more permanent.

Daphne was thinking about opening another apothecary. Her first had been a success in Diagon Alley, especially when she'd begun selling various beauty potions, creams, and shampoos in addition to the standard potion making supplies.

Andromeda and Narcissa were looking to finance another charity and were asking what she'd heard about various ones.

Then just as Ginny was beginning her tale about the latest disaster that had occurred in the Harpy's locker room another shot of pain hit her forcing a grimace on her face.

Narcissa, ever perceptive, saw it.

"Hermione?"

"Mhmm." She murmured before blinking and focusing on the concerned faces around her.

"I'm-" Her voice cracked as the feeling of wetness settled between her legs. "My water broke."

* * *

Draco rolled his eyes at Pansy and Blaise's bickering as he finished his coffee. He glanced at his watch, noting it was about time to head back for the next half of his shift when a patronus appeared before them.

He'd barely registered Luna's voice before he was out of his seat and practically running back to St. Mungo's.

He bolted down the white halls not bothering with the lifts, turning to the left for the stairs as he dashed up to the level 4 Maternity ward.

He made it, nearly out of breath, to the Mediwitch station.

"I need to know if Malfoy's been brought in." He said leaning over the desk, "Hermione Malfoy."

The lone witch at the desk looked up startled and on recognizing him, her mouth fell open.

"Healer Malfoy, I-"

"My wife." he interrupted her not particularly in the mood to hear any pleasantries.

The girl stammered obviously somewhat intimidated by his, no doubt, frantic appearance.

"Draco." Pansy said coming up behind him and laying a hand on his arm. "Stop scaring the poor girl."

He blinked, only just comprehending that his friends had followed after him as he took a breath to calm himself.

Pansy stepped forward.

"We're looking for Hermione Malfoy. She should have just been brought in with-"

"Oh Draco there you are!"

He whirled to the side catching sight of Astoria in her Mediwitch robes coming towards them. Out of the corner of his eye he made out the other Mediwitch sigh in relief at the sight of her superior.

"She's in room 410 at the end of the hall. Just got in." She said with a small smile as she pointed it out for him.

He nodded and spun on his heel to head that way before turning back at the last second.

He met Theo's gaze.

"Can you get her parents. It's a work day so they'd be at their practice and…"

"Draco." Theo interrupted before flashing him a grin, "I know. Now go to my sister."

He returned the gesture before the worry forced it off his face and he sprinted to room 410, bursting in without even knocking.

Hermione was up on the bed, sweat already collecting at her brow and both her hands gripping the railings of her bed. He made out the odd assortment of women also crowding the room, but didn't even pause to greet anyone as he walked straight toward Hermione.

She blinked, meeting his eyes before a small smirk settled on her lips.

"Finally." She said, "I thought you being a Healer and all would mean you'd be here as soon as I came in."

He allowed himself a small smile.

"I was at lunch. Practically ordered to take a break." He said coming up and taking her hand and was not in the least surprised when she pulled him into join her in the bed.

"Oh my gods Draco." She whispered low enough so that the rest of the people around them couldn't hear. "I'm going to have a baby."

He chuckled lowly before placing a swift peck at her temple.

"I know love."

"We're going to be parents." She continued.

"You know you'll be a fantastic Mum."

She bit her lip, but he could tell that those words had eased some of the anxiety that had crept up on her.

"Alright. Alright." She murmured before turning to the others. He kissed her, this time going for her lips before he shooed everyone out.

He took her hand and let his other brush her hair out of her eyes as he began whispering soft words of encouragement.

As a contraction hit her, she writhed beneath his grasp, clutching his hand so hard he was sure she would break his fingers.

He hoped, for both their sakes, this would not be a long day

* * *

It took 6 hours before Hermione heard her son's cry for the first time.

6 hours and her vision was blurry with tears and probably sweat.

Draco tore himself away from her after she'd pushed him to check on him instead of hovering over her.

He held his hands out and hesitantly took the swaddled red faced bundle from the Mediwitch's hands. She saw him bite his lip and murmur something to their infant son with an unmistakable look of awe on his face.

She pulled herself up, and though exhausted, she still called for Draco and held her hands out for the little bundle in his hands. Draco placed him securely in her arms with a large smile still on his face.

She smiled in turn before before letting her fingers gently part the blond bits of hair on his head.

 _Scorpius._

At her touch, he blinked for a moment before closing his eyes again and burrowing in her arms. It had been enough though to notice the pale, nearly slate, blue of his eyes that hinted they wouldn't remain blue for long.

"Look at you." she whispered as Scorpius wrapped his small hand around her finger. "Look how perfect you are."

Draco had settled beside her letting her lean back on his chest with his arm around her shoulders.

"He's amazing." Draco murmured kissing her temple.

She smiled wider.

"He's ours."


End file.
